- And now, for some particularly uninteresting conversation.
- A week last Tuesday I heard a knock on my door, 1:30 am in the morning no less, "Yeah yeah" I shouted as the knocking continued "Hold on a minute will ya? I'm not answering my door in my boxers", So I pulled on some jeans I found on the floor and took a cigarette out of the carton next to my bed, I came to the door expecting it to be my best friend turning up drunk as he has done a few times wanting a place to crash, but instead it was a small blonde, I didn't get a good look at her face as she pushed right past me and into my door, as she walked towards my livingroom she said in a muttered, teary tone "Please close the door anon he might have been following me", I thought about it for a moment and closed the door, whatever the problem was it was going to be a long fucking night.
- I hesitated before entering my front room, I hadn't been awake 5 minutes and this was a lot to take in all at once, but since this thing has already been set in motion I let out a sigh, peeled the cigarette from my lip and licked my lips before putting it back in, lit it and entered my front room.
- The blond girl was facing the door as I walked in and I raised an eyebrow upon realizing who it was, "Been a long time... almost 7 years in fact, never thought I'd see you again.", She hesitated before speaking, her eyes farting around, seemingly looking for some words as I stood leaning on the doorframe staring at her, she clasped her hands together and looked down and muttered something to herself before looking up at me and saying "Sorry to barge in Daniel, but I had nowhere else to go... can I stay here tonight? Please?".
- I smiled, taking the cigarette from my mouth and saying "Well this is nice, not a word in over 7 years and now you come here asking for a free room? I have a pretty good memory and last time we talked I believe it was you who threw me out, why shouldn't I do the same thing to you?"
- She looked up at me through her fingers, and choking back tears she uttered "Please... I don't have anywhere else... please let me stay...", Feeling a hint of remorse I sighed and sat down on the couch opposite, taking the ashtray into my hands and sitting back, "From the beginning... why are you here? I'll let you stay for one night if it's good enough, if it's a falling out with your boyfriend or whatever you can leave now, I'm not interested in getting caught up in your new lovers quarrels"
- She said nothing for a moment and just sat sobbing, part of me felt for her but that part was small compared to the seething hatred I bore for this woman... I flicked some ash into the ashtray on the coffee table and waited, then she began to speak.
- "I... Look, I know it's been a long time Daniel... and I'm really sorry for coming here, I know you wouldn't have wanted to see me again after what happened, but I know you're a good person and this was the last place I could turn to, you're the only one who could help me now...", tears began streaming from her eyes as she began to sob again her body shook, I tried to keep myself calm and treat her with the contempt she deserved for her past deeds, but my compassionate side got the better of me and I stood up and walked out of the room, returning with 2 glasses, a bottle of wine and the carton of cigarettes from my room, I poured myself a glass and placed it on my side of the coffee table before setting the bottle down next to her followed by the glass, I took my lighter from my pocket and flicked it over to her side of the table, she took her hands away from her face and looked up at me.
- "I know you don't smoke anymore but I'm not going to get anything out of you while you're sitting there mumbling into your hands, pour yourself a glass too, it'll ease you up a little." She poured herself a glass of wine and took a cigarette from the carton before looking up at me, I looked back at her and waited, she took out a cigarette, lit it and took a drag before coughing violently, "Fuck me" I lamented as I leaned over and took the cigarette from her fingers, "Forget the cigarettes, just drink, it'll stop your throat burning", she polished off the glass quickly and caught her breath, still tensed up she looked towards me before apologizing and looking down at her feet, I was about to tell her to get on with it before she started speaking again, "He beats me" she said, the words rushing out of her mouth as she shook, "Tonight he came home drunk and ripped my pyjama top off, when I woke up and struggled he put his hands around my neck, I bit his arm to make him let go and he caught my hair when I tried to run away..."
- She started sobbing hard again, tears rolling from the cracks between her fingers, I was taken back by this for a moment before swallowing and rubbing my head with my free hand... swallowing my emotions I muttered "So have you called the police? Why didn't you go back to your moms house, why here?"
- "She poured herself a tall glass of wine and washed it down again, slamming the glass on the coffee table haphazardly, her hands shaking "Because nobody wants to hear it! I've told the police and they couldn't do anything! I tried but I was too scared of what he would do to me! I looked on the internet and only a small amount of assult charges from domestics are ever convicted! If he got out he would kill me! and my MOM!? YOU REMEMBER MY MOM DANIEL! SHE COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT ME! I've TRIED telling her but she says I'm being ridiculous! I can't tell my friends because they all like him and it would get back to him! You're the only... person I know who has nothing to do with any of it..."
- "So what?" I said as I leaned back on the sofa, "Call me because I'm the only one you can hide behind?"
- "No. That's not it!"
- "Then what do you want me to do? for all I know this is a pack of lies, why should I help you? In fact, why should I even trust you after what you did?"
- Her eyes widened as she started shaking again, sobbing loudly... I felt bad but that feeling was stifled by the words I'd just said, she tore me a new one 7 years back, I don't owe her anything, if anything she owes me, why should I give a shit what happens to her?
- "Well?" I said, the aggressive tone in my words as present as before, "... Did you think I'd welcome you here? Do you even remember what you did? All the pain you caused?"
- All my words did was make her sob louder, I checked myself and took a deep breath, holding it in for a moment and letting it all out slowly... Getting angry isn't going to do this situation any good, even so, I'm not apologizing... I should be allowed to be eternally pissed at her for what she did, but this wasn't the time or place for that, I always imagined the score between us would be settled on a mountain top with katanas and yellow jumpsuits, why not after all? in my mind it stood just as much chance of happening as any other chance to settle the score between us, in other words, never, but here she was at her weakest I've ever seen her, sobbing into her hands... my mind could have followed that train of thought forever but she stood up and began to unbutton her coat, that moment of silence must have given her a chance to think, she set her coat down over the back of the sofa and revealed a stripy pair of pyjamas, she began unbuttoning that too as she turned her back to me... as the top fell to her arms I saw all I needed to see... deep blue bruises, cuts, scratches, and a particularly bad bruise down her lower left back, as if she had been hit by a chair or bar, she had her eyes closed as she turned to face me... her stomach was way worse than her back, there were big patches of blue and yellow patches all around where old ones had begun to heal, cuts around her naval, particularly bad bruising around her collar bone, she was telling the truth, by the looks of it all it had been going on for months.
- "he never hits anywhere anyone can see..." she muttered, looking down at her feet, "I can show you my legs too... they're much worse than..." and she began to cry again, I felt like an asshole sitting there witnessing that after all the mouth I just gave her.
- I buried my face in my hands, the ash dropping onto the sofa as I rubbed up and down trying to find some words.
- "... wait there" I said getting off the sofa and walking towards the door, I walked into my bedroom and pounded my fists on my bed as I sat down for a moment, "What to do..." I thought to myself, "Like I can be angry at her now... look at the fucking state she's in..." I gave myself a moment, gritting my teeth at the fact that even with all the anger and hostility I hold for her, I could never bring myself to do even 1 percent of what this guy has done to her... she looks fucking awful and it's quite obvious she's been through hell, if I did anything now it's tantamount to kicking a man... or woman, while she's down, and that isn't my style, as much of an asshole I'd like to believe I am I draw the line at beating the living shit out of a 100lb 5'2 woman, the realization that even if she did fight back, we're talking about a girl who couldn't tenderize a steak, much less hold her own against a grown fucking man just made my blood boil... after a while I decided I'd have to swallow my hatred until this matter was resolved, and with that I went through my draws, picking out a ratty old band T-shirt and some green jogging bottoms, a towel and a pair of boxers, just in case... after being gone for around 15 minutes I returned to the livingroom and she turned to face me, her cheeks sore from the tears... I dumped the pile of clothes and the towel next to her and said "Shower and change... it'll make you feel a bit better, I'll sort you out some bedding." she silently took the pile into her arms and headed to the bathroom, saying thanks as she passed, I got to work finding my sleeping bag that I could unzip and give to her to use as a blanket.
- When she emerged from the bathroom she had changed into my spare clothes, I leaned out of the kitchen and down the hall and muttered "My bedroom, hairdryer 4th draw on the left, it's already plugged in just flick it on." she nodded and made her way into my bedroom with her hair in a towel, in the kitchen I'd made some hot chocolate, not strictly for her benefit as I fancied it, but I made enough for two and set one down on the coffee table I'd pushed towards the wall in the livingroom so I could join the 2 sofas together to make a makeshift bed, as she came into the room with her hair freshly blowdried I turned the timer lamp on along with the HiFi system and pointed towards the hot mug of cocoa, "Don't worry about the lamp, from what I remember you didn't like like dark too much, it'll go off eventually by itself, sorry about the pillows, they're a little old but they're the only spare set I have, it's all clean though..." "Thank you.." she said quietly as I put my hand on the light switch, I turned to the door and flicked the lights off, "Drink up and try and get some sleep, you'll be alright", "Goodnight" She said quietly, sitting down on her makeshift bed, taking the cocoa into her hands, "night" I said as I closed the door and make my way into my bedroom.
- I lay on my bed awake for what felt like hours, the events of the night clashing against the past in my mind, not knowing how to feel about all of this... one side of me wanted to march in there and throw her out on the streets, remembering what she did to me she would have more than deserved it, the other side of me telling me to be the bigger man and give her a break until this thing was over, I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself... after all, whether I liked it or not nothing was going to get resolved that night...
- Whatever I tried I couldn't sleep, I've never been one for sleeping in the covers so I tossed and turned on top of them every so often hunting for the cool spots, trying to get back to sleep... eventually I heard something, it was quiet... I listened intently and it sounded like wimpering... I tried to ignore it but I couldn't and with a mumbled "fuck me..." I got up and went for a piss before stopping in my tracks in the hallway to see if she was still at it, she was... so I took a deep breath and opened the door, it was pitch black inside, the lamp had gone off... I whispered "Still awake?", I heard a muffled "mmhmm" as she sniffled... I turned the dimmer right down before hitting the light switch as to not blind her with the light and there she was under the blankets, as I walked towards her she sat up to reveal damp patches on the pillow where the tears had sunk though, telling me she had been at it for a while.
- I took my cigarettes off the coffee table and asked her if she wanted a cup of tea, she nodded, I walked out of the room and put the kettle on before walking though my bedroom and onto the balcony, with a lit cigarette I sat down cross legged staring through the bars at the cityscape, it was obvious I wasn't going to get any sleep now... I'd probably have to call in sick to work as well while I sorted out this blast from the past shitheap than had been shoved onto my plate... as much anger as I was feeling over the whole thing I couldn't ignore that little voice in my head telling me to have some compassion, I sat there as the cold january winds whistled around my body wondering what the fuck I should do next, sitting there like that usually gave me a few answers but tonight it was turning up nothing, and who could blame it? "This isn't exactly a typical Tuesday night problem" I thought to myself "I guess getting her to sleep is first on the list, if she sits and cries like that I won't get back to sleep anyway.", as the cigarette burned down the the filter I stood up and spat it out over the balcony railing and headed back inside to the warmth of my bedroom, then through to the kitchen as I made a pot of tea, then with that, 2 mugs, a little bottle of milk and the sugar pot I made my way into the livingroom, she was still sitting up with that sad expression on my face as I set the tray down on the coffee table, "Take it the way you did before?" I said, pouring the tea into the mug, "Yeah..." she said, "2 sugars, 1 drop of milk" I thought to myself as I made her tea and handed it to her, I made mine and climbed onto the sofa-bed before sitting down cross legged at the far side where her feet were, we sat in silence while we sipped away searching for words...
- until finally she broke the silence with "... I don't know what I'm going to do Daniel... by now he's noticed I'm gone and he's probably gone ballistic, he's probably looking for me..." I sat my mug down in the palm of my hand in my lap, "Does he know about this place?" I asked, looking at her, "No... I never told him about you..." I thought for a second before asking a question I should have asked right at the start. "Who told you my address anyway? I don't remember giving you my contact details...", she looked up at me and said "Promise not to get mad?", "No" I said "But I'd still like to know, don't tell me you 192'd my ass" she grimaced as she rubbed the side of her mug, "I've known for a while... I found it online,,," I raised my eyebrows in that "mmm, thought so" way, "As long as you didn't ask my parents or friends or anything... I'd have been pissed if they were so fast to give my address to you of all people", she looked down at the mug and stayed completely silent for a moment, then, not looking towards me at all I saw a tear drop into her tea... "... you never did forget what I did, did you...", as she said those words I had to surpress my inner demon from getting out and blowing up, I've suppressed my rage towards her for so many years... it's hard to keep it bottled when the person who wreaked so much havoc and caused so much pain in your life is right there in front of you... it took me a moment to compose myself and make sure I wouldn't explode at her. "No..." I said , my deep tone just barely hiding my anger "I couldn't..."
- She stayed silent, when she breathed in I could hear the staggered pattern of her inhaling, she was obviously still suppressing her urge to cry, as she breathed out she took the mug to her lips and finished the tea, then leaned over the arm of the sofa and set it down on the floor, then she looked to me and said "Please listen to me... I need you to promise me you won't blow up Daniel, please promise you'll try to listen?", again I had to give myself a moment to make sure I could keep my feelings in check, when I was confident I could I nodded and said "Okay... but if I tell you to stop, you stop, got it?", she nodded as she fiddled with her fingers, trying to organize her thoughts, probably in a fashion that wouldn't tip me over the edge and cause me to explode into a fit of rage as she spoke, then looking up a few times to check if I was ready to receive it, she began "You probably don't want an apology after all this time...--
- -- But I want to apologize... I've wanted to for a long, long time... I took so much from you back then, and I can see the pain I caused is still there now, I tried so hard to say I was sorry but I was scared... I heard through people how angry you were, I heard that you were in hospital because of how I made you feel... I was terrified of ever seeing you again..." I gritted my teeth as I looked down into my mug, half concentrating on the low music coming from the hifi, trying to use it to take my mind off of the memories that were rushing into m head with every word "-- If I wasn't backed into a corner as much as I am now I doubt I'd ever have been in a position to explain myself as I am now, and even now I'm scared any moment you're going to..." She let out a sigh as a tear rolled down her cheek, she continued with a fearful tone "I manipulated you, I knew you loved me and I used your feelings against you... I stole from you, I hid things from you... I went behind your back... I--" She took a deep breath, choking on her tears, by now my brow was ruffled and I couldn't stop my face from showing my anger, I did my best to hear her out, even as my teeth were clenched together and my mind blanked, my eyes lost focus as feelings of rage swept up and down my body, I stopped myself from moving or speaking, intently listening to her every word, "I lied and stole from your family, I made you take stupid risks for my sake and I used you Daniel... I'm a fucking terrible person!!" with that she burst into a full fledged, loud sobbing, I sat there taking it all in, trying my very best not to react, waiting for her to finish, every single word was like her twisting the knife in my old wounds
- , the very fact that she knew what she was doing only amplified my rage to a level I'd never felt before, never had I wanted to let go and take out my anger on anyone so much, the only thing stopping me was the fact that if I did I probably wouldn't be able to stop and I'd loose everything I'd built in the last 7 years for one flash moment of revenge... instead I sat, seething in anger as she sobbed, waiting for her to speak... after her emotional outburst she composed herself enough and continued "I'm so sorry for what I did to you... I had absolutely no reason to do the things I did, I knew you loved me so much... I know you hate me now and I deserve to be hated... I still can't believe you haven't thrown me out of your home... I know this isn't enough to make up for what I did, not even a little bit... But I'm sorry Daniel... if you'll let me, I'll try to make it up to you even if it takes me years. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did..."
- I sat there brooding, She caught a glimpse of my expression and shuffled backwards a little as I lefted my head, tears around my cheeks, my teeth clenched, eyes fixed on her like a beast and my hands pressing so tightly clenched around my mug it felt like I could shatter it, I felt the growl as I spoke, "You don't even know the half of it do you... What I've had to do because of you, what I've been through, thanks to you I haven't trusted anyone in years... because of what you did to me, I've not even been able to so much as think about it without feeling sick to my stomach, take your half-assed apology and shove it up your ass, you're right, I don't want it... Until tonight I'd have been happy with never seeing your face again but here you are... you want to do me a favor?" I took a cigarette from my pocket and lit it, and stared at her "Shut up and never say you're sorry again, don't even speak about it"
- We sat in silence for a while, I listened to the radio as I let my feelings settle, the near-silence lasted for ages as she sat staring down at her lap, until eventually she said "Can I ask... Why don't you say my name?", the anger flashed inside my chest again as I thought about her question, "... Because it hurts to even be reminded of you. Thats why, I cringe every time I hear it, even on the news or in a song", "oh..." she said, another string of tears running down her cheek, "Should I go?", I thought about it for a second as I flopped my head over the back of the sofa, "No... As much as I hate you, you're not leaving... and if you really want to start making it up to me, you'll stay put, I can't stand the thought of throwing you out because that would make me as bad as you were..." I smiled as I let a puff of smoke out of my mouth, still staring at the dim lights on the ceiling "There's plenty of time for the score to be settled between us" I thought to myself "Maybe all of this will help me get over the past... but again, nothing is going to get resolved tonight", I sat up on the chair again and looked at her, "Do you have a job?", she nodded, "Are you working tomorrow?", she shook her head, "No... not until monday"
- "I see... well... do you have any plans tomorrow?", she hesitated before opening her mouth, "N-No... I was planning on figuring out what I'm going to do... I can't go back there... and he'll have already told my mom I ran away..."
- "... If he catches me..." she muttered under her breath, "He won't..." I said, staring at her, "Tomorrow we're going to get your stuff, is he a big man?", she shook her head "No... just stronger than me...", "Good... if I'm doing this I'm be damned if I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me", She looked at me wide eyed, and fiddled with the blanket, "You're...?"
- "Yeah. But in return you're going to make good on what you said, starting tomorrow you're paying me back for every little thing you stole from me, throwing you out means throwing out the opportunity to make you pay for what you did, thats only fair.", she looked at me and nodded, biting her lip to keep herself from smiling, "You're apologizing to my family too, and paying them back. but we'll do this one step at a time...", she hesitated before nodding slowly, "four thousand four hundred and sixty two pounds... and that only covers what you stole financially..." I thought to myself, "I'm going to make it impossible for you to screw me over again, you better be ready.", I looked at her and said "Think you can get to sleep now? Because the suns going to be on the rise soon", she nodded and I picked myself up and jumped off the sofa and onto the floor, as I went to walk past her and out of the room she grabbed my hand and looked up at me, then said "Thank you.", I took my hand away and paused, then said "Get some sleep, you're going to have a long day tomorrow"
Uncle Anons Cool Story
a guest Jan 27th, 2012 481 Never
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