3mo

X Doab, impossible year
X jet pack
X lane, fairly local, judge, polarize, message man, hometown, goner

Username: welcome2thejam

Album: Death Of A Bachelor: Simultaneously better and worse than I expected going in. There's a few bright spots and nothing pissed me off (mind you, I see Panic at the Disco - Bohemian Rhaspody down there and I'm already fuming, but that's Suicide Squad's problem). Still not close to enough to shake my overall bad perception of Panic. Sports ad break commercial core songs total: 9/11 (investigate Brendon Urie, ME! was an inside job)

Victorious: 8 Might keep a running mental tally of every song in this rate that could soundtrack an ESPN commercial. Let's start: 1

Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time: 6 I sang along with Rock Lobster. I rated Rock Lobster. Rock Lobster was a ten of mine. You are no Rock Lobster.

Hallelujah: 5 This has the design of this grandiose emo classic, but the tools & execution just aren't quite there

Emperor's New Clothes: 8 Ever since the rate cycle trailer came out, the image of devil Brendon Urie has burned itself deep into my brain. I had to watch the video over and over just so the ghastly images in my mind can be satiated for just a little while longer. What I'm trying to say is that I might have Stockholm Syndrome'd myself into liking this

Death of a Bachelor: 5 "And yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor bride's groom just did lounge"

Crazy=Genius: 8 Honestly, giving an extra point or two because I'd rather he take big swings at big band and strike out on a full count than meh me like the last song

LA Devotee: 10 Hey, finally, a song here that I can put my full support behind! Sure, it's yet another song about Living In Los Angeles, but idc we take these. A good time the whole way through

Golden Days: 6 Another song that feels like it has all the elements of something strong but can't get there

The Good, the Bad and the Dirty: 4 Pausing right after the intro to say this song will need to work its way up from a 1 just because of those opening fifteen seconds

House of Memories: 7 Alright, this was a tad dull for a while, but that back third straight hard carried to a decent score

Impossible Year: 5 Why did he go all in on lounge???

Album: American Beauty/American Psycho: If we ever do an emo rate with Cork Tree, I can promise you much stronger scores. As is, everything kinda just feels a bit too much for me; not offensively bad though outside of one son, easily the most consistent. Sports ad break commercial core songs total: 10/11, they were the kings of this genre for the time period, probably at the peak of their powers here

Irresistible: 8 Oh hell yeah I know those horns and those oh's, this is a certified ESPN Classic

American Beauty/American Psycho: 6 I deadass can't get a read on this for ratings purposes, I'm gonna give it a gentleman's 6 and ask it kindly to leave my mind

Centuries: 7 Something's gotta play when college football goes to commercial, and Fall Out Boy decided it might as well be them

The Kids Aren't Alright: 6 Noooo you've invoked shoegaze and the Offspring simultaneously what have you done

Uma Thurman: 9 Actually, its correct name is Uma Thurman's Monster

Jet Pack Blues: 6 Jet pack is just the kind of quirky add-on that works for some artists but not for others: 2000s Fall Out Boy could probably sneak through as the former, 2015 Fall Out Boy annoys me deeply in the latter

Novocaine: 6 Bluebird bit in the prechorus sounds solid

Fourth of July: 7 Doing America marginally proud

Favorite Record: 7 This feels like a song from that 1D/5SOS/Vamps rate, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just makes it a wild pick to drop the Danzig reference in lol

Immortals: 2 Centuries but terrible

Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC): 8 I would like to stay a night in the Skeleton Hotel pls

Album: Blurryface: Big roller coaster album, has more high scores than the other two albums, as well as some absolute duds that really annoyed me. Sports ad break commercial core songs total: 7/14, solid score but probably did not make Fox Sports 1's AOTY list

Heavydirtysoul: 11 There are so many parts here that are "absolutely not" which should say a lot about the rest of the song considering the score I'm giving it. Just the best sounding song in the rate

Stressed Out: 5 This becoming a surprise mainstream hit felt like we were collectively dropped midway into TOP lore and just expected to know who Blurryface was

Ride: 8 This was the major TOP hit I actually enjoyed hearing. Maybe helps that a song called Ride sounds good on a car radio

Fairly Local: 4 Disney/Nick rate gave me "to the core" PTSD so I'm just waiting for this song to clear

Tear in My Heart: 10 Y'all know I'm a sucker for a chorus that soars, and oh baby does this fly over each and every unfilled pothole

Lane Boy: 2 The matchup between music execs & capitalism vs. letting him rap and sound like this is unfortunately a much closer one than you'd expect

The Judge: 6 Hot Topic Jason Mraz

Doubt: 4

Polarize: 6 The verse parts sound good. Something something help me bowl of rice

We Don't Believe What's on TV: 8 What the folk?

Message Man: 2 Oh buddy this is ass

Hometown: 9 Immediate context clues pointing to their hometown being Alaska

Not Today: 5 Perfectly adequate, but no seasoning

Goner: 6

Album: Suicide Squad: Roxie... why...

Twenty One Pilots - Heathens: 4 The major saving graces are that deep noise going CHNG-CHNG and (WATCH IT)

Panic! at the Disco - Bohemian Rhapsody: 2 I see six minutes on the clock and am tempted to break my rating streak at the last song to not endure this

END