Thread 69: Stories 16-30

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 >Daw
"Guards"
'Brahmos'

>Right you lot, is everyone here?

"Yep."

"Yup!"

"Mhm!"

>Alright, now, first of all, hello. Jacqueline Daw, reformed -hoof quotes- pirate.

"...shouldn't we arres-"

>No.

"Okay."

>I'm here on behalf of yer cap'n, Bronze Pommel, and YOU are here because ya respect an itty bitty pink filly more than the lad YOU voted in.

"We mostly did it because we wanted a lightweight."

>But ya didn't get that, did ya?

"...did we? I mean, he talks pretty good but..."

>Aye, aye, we've been over this. So I've devised a little object lesson to see if we can't just up his standing a bit.

"Does he know you're doing this?"

>No.

"Okay...he'd sound like a real douche if he di-OW!"

>I'm screwin' that douche, ye twat, so watch yer mouth. Frankly the fact he and me are trading spit should tell ya he's worth yer respect.

"I dunno..."

>...

"Pirates are kinda last year-"

>AND THEN I SLASHED THE WANKER'S THROAT, YER HONOR!

"Shutting up!"

>Anyway, what we got ta do this is old Princess Twinkle-Arse's Danger Room.

Far away, Princess Sparkle found herself becoming very very angry for a reason she could not understand.

>Now...show of hooves, who here would rather not follow Bronze Pommel.

Quite a few hooves raised up.

>Right, now I want the three best fighters outta you lot to come up here. No need t'be modest.

Three ponies stepped forward, two unicorns and a pegasus.

>Alrighty, now you lot just go into yon' chamber, yes yes, there ya are. Now does anyone here know how this damn fantasy box works?

"I do!"

"You do not, Buckler!"

"Yeah, last time you tried to do shit with that thing, 41 and Punch got trapped in there!"

"Don't touch anything!"

>Does anyone ELSE know how it works?

"Uhhh..."

>...bollocks.

"So can we come out now?"

>NO!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CD
>Bronze Pommel
„Spike“
'Celestia'
~Various Guards~
~~~~~~

*KERSLAMMA!*

A streak of white impacted on the gravel outside the the military district of Canterlot, kicking up a small cloud of dust. Sliding off the princess' back, Spike stretched his legs, his first steps a little wobbly.

„Whew, what a ride! Thanks princess, that was fun.“

'Nothing to thank me for. I needed that just as much as you did. Though, may I ask why you wish to seek out the newly appointed Captain of the Guard?'

„Eeeeh. I gave a promise to a friend that I'd get his OK about something. Shouldn't take long.“

'Does it mayhaps have to do with armed robots being integrated into the Guard despite Bronze Pommel's pledge to do everything without them?'

„Uuuuh... ho-how did you know?“

The alabaster princess wordlessly points a single, gold-shod hoof at the parade grounds beyond the heavy gate before them. There, briskly trotting back and forth while clearly shouting his lungs out, was Bronze Pommel. And in front of him, fifty soldier plus an equal amount of robots.

„...oh, crap.“

'Best of luck, Spike. It seems like you will need it.'

The Princess nuzzles the dragon from behind, then bends her legs and launches herself off into the sky, leaving a multi-colored contrail in her wake.

“Princess, wait!”

'Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan 'Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan...!'

Spike stares after the merrily singing princess until she disappeared behind one of Canterlot's towers. Rubbing his arm self-consciously, a feeling of trepidation heavy in the pit of his stomach, he waddles off towards bigger problems than he had anticipated.

>-bringing the Guard from the brink of being wiped from history as little more than a passing fancy, and then this! You do this! Not to me, but yourself as well! Look at you! You were cowering BEHIND those things like you expected them to handle the problems better than you could. You aren't the handlers of some guard dogs, you are THE GUARD. You aren't supposed to guard robots who are guarding citizens, you are supposed to be guarding the citizens!

~Actually, they are doing a pretty good job. Better than we did so far.~

>You-You can't be serious. Why? Why do you have such a terrible self-image? Don't you see that the ponies of Equestria can see the reluctance and fear in your eyes? You have to stand tall, proud, not hide behind machines.

~Yes, but-~

>NO BUTS! None of the buts! You appointed me, clearly expecting someone you can walk all over. Whoever gave you these things clearly did too. Well, screw them. All of those soulless automatons. Scrap them. Return them. I don't care what you do, but whoever I find walking around with one by the end of the week will face consequences.

~Captain, Sir, you can't just-~

>YES. I. CAN. You accepted unapproved major equipment from a third party outside the military and state hierarchy. We DO have Disciplinary Barracks. By violating of the Equestrian Military Code, you get yourself a nice trip down to a correctional facility. You enlisted, you stuck around, and now you will stop being pushovers for the rest of Equestria. UNDERSTOOD?

A unisono clang of hoofs to helmets could be heard, but no verbal response was given. With the dark looks he was getting, Pommel felt more disheartened by his lot than ever before.

In fact the moment Bronze Pommel stomped off, murmurs of discontent spread among the guard.

~-ass. Thought we got ourselves a-~

~-pulling the 'commanding officer' card. What a-~

~-left when the others did. Now we're stuck with-~

Spike walked past all of them. He felt he should give them a piece of his mind, or at least a dirty look. But the truth was that he was partly responsible this had happened. He was no better than them., was he?

Approaching the door into the Captain's Quarters, he feels the weight in his limbs and belly increase until he halts, clawed hand just inches from knocking. He had no idea how to rescue this situation, but he intended to at least try.

*knock knock*

>Come in.

When the dragon entered he found Pommel standing up straight behind his desk with a stern glare, clearly expecting one of guards. But his face positively lit up when he saw who was at his doorstep instead.

>Spike! Spike, wow, is that you? What brings you down here? Are you visiting? Come in, come on in. Don't mind the mess.

Passing by crumpled papers, drafts at letters and stacks of documents, Spike approaches the chair before the desk, hops up and plops down.

>I hope you didn't have to see me flip out at them back there. It's just tough lately. They hold me in low esteem as is, and now someone just came up and decided to outfit them with robots despite my best tries to prevent this situation. It's like they want to make me the laughing stock of the capital.

“Uh, actually...”

Spike can feel his gut clench when the somewhat friendly smile Pommel directed at him falls at his serious tone.

“I, ah... I came to you to talk about just that. Those robots? Uhm, they're from Diamond Tiara. Paid for, approved, outfitted, all that. She gave them to them, after training them for the past few days.”

>Diamond Tiara... The filly from the Gun Club? The one crazy one with the rocket launcher? Why is she doing that? Is her father involved with the manufacturer or something? Or am I making her family's arms deal sour?

“No! Eh, uhm, no. Look, Pommel. I know you are trying your best to keep Equestrian's Guard -how to put it- pure? But they clearly are still shaken from the repeated attacks of things they couldn't stop and could use a little help.

>Are you... are you arguing FOR them? Spike. Please tell me you aren't doing this. You too? Why is everyone trying to make Equestria like a sheep pen supervised by uncaring, unfeeling wardens? It's like some dystopian horror novel made real.

“You're making it sound worse than it really is. Look, I-”

>No.

“-wha?”

>I said No. I value your opinion, I respect you as a capable fighter and I cherish you as a companion. But, No. I will not invalidate everything I have said to the princesses and make yet another Captain the laughing stock of the country.

“Pommel.”

>Spike, leave it be.”

A resounding slam goes through the heavy desk as Spike leans up and smacks down his palms onto it.

“Well, I can't! And I won't! I gave Diamond Tiara a promise. I promised her I'd go and get your approval for her project! And she needs it, Pommel. She's going through a really rough spot right now. She doesn't know who her friends and allies are anymore, and she's isolating herself with only a very few, select friends. She has been kicked out of the Gun Club while recovering in a hospital, her trust to Applejack is broken. It won't be long before she snaps or breaks!”

Pommel would have been moved, and worried, if it weren't for the dawning realization what had happened behind his back.

>You... you told her you would definitively get my approval? You enabled her to completely forgo having to speak to me, the one responsible for this department, and assumed you had the authority and pull to make it happen no matter what?

“I... I, no, I didn't. I just... I just promised her I'd ask you.”

Pommel calmly gestures out of the nearby window, where the robots accompanied by the guards are marching out of the gate.

>Does it look like she waited for you to come back with confirmation, Spike?

Spike, if possible, slumped even further into the chair.

“...No.”

The stallion pushes back from his desk and starts pacing across the room.

>You backed yourself and me into a corner because you wanted to do a personal favor for your friend. I can see why you did it, and for good reasons. But that doesn't make it any less wrong to do it. Neither you or Tiara have the kind of power or responsibility to make such calls privately between you.

“I can talk to Celestia, Applejack, Twilight. They know me, they'll listen.”

If possible, Pommel looked even more flabbergasted.

>Are you SERIOUSLY considering pulling political weight, just to archive what you personally want? Are you that far gone, trampling over others like me just because you wish for it to be so?

Spike couldn't answer. He was hurting inside, the realization that he had once again broken his own noble dragon code and enacted on his vice of greed. Like the dragon he always feared he was.

>I know you're a good guy, Spike. I've been out there, in the Mareibbean. I've seen much younger kids than you and Tiara, torn from their parents and home, fighting for every little bit to survive or get vengeance. Fillies with dead eyes beyond all empathy and caring, just doing what it takes to get by. I know you are both far more adult than you look, and I respect and consider that into my choices. But still, I can't just let you do something like this. My answer is still no. No robots in the Guard.

That was it. The final nail in that coffin. He had broken his promise to Diamond Tiara, he had caused Pommel more problems than he deserved. He didn't even know how to tell her. And the way she would react...

Pommel saw all that, the defeat and pain in Spike's eyes, as he sat down behind his desk. A small gesture of his hoof, just to get his attention, and the dragon would see that the stallion clearly wore a poker face.

>...but that doesn't mean I can talk to Diamond Tiara myself. If you can get her to stoop to the level of the common pony like me and actually ASK for once, that is.. Instead of bullying her friends into making it happen and expecting ponies to fall in line just because she has money.

“You would really do that? Even after the problems we caused you?”

>Not for you, or her. But because I know what its like to let down others, and where being misjudged can take you. I will talk to her. Under two conditions.

“Conditions?”

>One. Never, ever assume you have the kind of power to make decisions like that again. Unless someone like the princess explicitly told you. Politics are a shark pool, and you are fresh blood. Don't wade in there. I mean it.

Spike grimaces at the comparison, but nods.

>Two. You now owe me a favor.

“A favor?”

>Mmh hmm. A favor. I am basically doing you a favor right now, right?. Because I have no reason or obligation to listen or even talk to that filly. But I will. Out of my own goodwill and because we once shared something all of us.

“The Gun Club.”

>More than that, but that's beside the point.”

“Yeah. It has kind of fallen apart as is. I wish it didn't.”

>So, can you do that for me? I help you, you help me. And I can really need all the help I can get right now.”

Spike only briefly hesitated. He trusted Pommel not to call upon him for unsavory things, as he would expect from Chrysalis. And if it meant he could bring Diamond Tiara back around, it was worth giving an open-ended promise like that.

“Deal. I won't try to do that again, and I owe you one. Just let me find D.T so I can get her to talk to you.”

Pommel, at last, smiles when Spike genuinely tries to make amends. The tension in both of them leaves the room, even though a whole lot of problems still waited outside. For both of them.

>Well... can't say I expected to be the one. But welcome to the Adult World. You decided to arm yourself, you did lobbying and now you owe political favors. All you need now is a tie and a bad habit, and you're set.

Spike grunts and smacks his head onto the table.

“Growing up sucks.”

>Tell me about it. I had to be clobbered to death by a troll, get eaten by a monster, and finally almost get killed by an enraged Minotaur pirate king after being possessed by an evil entity before I was on this level of maturity. You're way ahead of me.

The purple dragon's smile grows and he stares at Pommel for a moment.

“Care to tell me that story?

>Sure. Might take a while, though.

“Let's make that time.”

And Pommel just grins a little in return, making himself more comfortable.

>So, I was stranded on this desolate island with just Chitania as my company, when-

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Celestia"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and for once we're on time! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!

"Are we on?"

>How are things going on in the castle?

"While I'm slightly annoyed that the six of you left, I'm still handling things just fine. What's a day compared to a thousand years of bureaucracy?"

>Great to hear! When we come back maybe we'll bring some souvenirs!

"Some zap apple jam would be quite lovely."

>I'll ask and see if Granny Smith has any left when we come back.

"When are you coming back?"

>....Hey it's the end of the show! Good bye and thanks for coming!
Celestia wakes up.

"...Applejack's not even here and I'm still being asked questions."

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 >Chitania
"Sunset"
'Prostimare'
~~~~~~

"Boop."

>...

"Boop."

>Stop.

"Boop."

>Stop it.

"Boop."

>Will you quit already.

"Boop."

>I swear to my long-dead mother, if you do not stop this instant, I will obliterate you!

"...boop."

>RAAAARGH! STOP POKING ME!

"You know, it's funny. Everyone treats you like a live bomb that could go off any second. But here I am, touching you. And I haven't turned to dust or exploded yet. What gives?"

'Mebbe it hasta do somethin' with em facts 'o her stompin' da whole city some time back?'

"Yeah, sure. But I looked over the statistics. Inmeasurable property damage, but no casualties."

>Rrrrrgh. I wasn't TRYING to stomp anyone. My agenda was to find someone.

"So you're saying that, if someone died, it would've been by accident. Huh. Awfully considerate."

>If someone got in my way, they got swatted aside. Like your pathetic false gods.

"First, princesses. Second, I heard about that. I am actually kinda impressed you pulled that off."

'Ah dunno, could've dunnit wit'out hitting them, maybe...'

"See? She cares. Why don't you care?"

>Because you are all beneath my level. It's like asking you to care for the bugs you accidentally stomp as you go about your day.

"..."

'...'

>...

"Boop."

>I WILL DESTROY YOU!

"*teleport*"

'Aww, she'll be back. I think she likes ya.'

>RRRRAAARRRGH!

~~~

>RAAAARRGGG

'Ya' could just smash stuff.'

>...Oh, hey, yeah. That thing I do...

~~~~~

>I'M TAKING ALL YOUR BOOKS!

[GAD DANG IT! WHY'S SHE MESSIN' EVERYTHIN' UP!?]

' *whistles uncomfortably* '

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 >SA
"42"
'Spitfire'
~~~

>So! How are the soldiers coming along?

"They seem to be adapting quite well to the new, smaller rockets. Their efficiency has increased at least sixteen percent as far as accuracy and reaction time are concerned."

>Excellent! How's the airforce coming?

'...I plead the fifth.'

>The... the fifth what?

'...'

>...So! How's recruitment going?

"Stable. Very few who wish to be soldiers but have not yet stepped forth remain, I believe we have reached the precipice of our inground forces."

>Expected. And the airforce?

'...We have, like... forty pegasi... total.'

>Hrm. Might need to see about outsourcing, remaining totally isolated is not really helpful to anyone in the long run.

'I'd say yeah.'

>So! Anything else to note?

"None."

'...'

>Spitfire?

'...C-can I go cry in your corner?'

>Go for it.

'Thanks...'

>....

"...She is uh... doing a good job, considering?'

>...

"...I am trying to be helpful."

>A for effort, if nothing else.

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>Soarin'
"Fleetfoot"
~~~~

>Hey, Captain? I was wondering what you wanted me to do with the trainees... today... uhhhhhh-

"Hey, Dash? Seriously, I'm running myself ragged here, can I tag out with... someone..."

>...Is... is that a note on her desk?

"...'Back in a bit, on an adventure'...."

>...

"..."

>...

"...Can I?"

>Only I can join you.

"It's all good."

>"MOTHERFUCKER!"

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Non-Canon
This never happened. I just felt very compelled to write this for some reason and the dialogue came oddly easy.

>Discord
"DT"
~~~~
>It's about time I pulled you aside for a moment my other pink friend.

"Hey, where am I? What did you do?"

>Oh nothing, I just felt like having a chat. This has become Pinkie's domain now, but that doesn't mean I can't do it either.

DT smirks
"So you've finally recognized how great I am. It's okay that you were too slow to recognize it."

>As egotistic as ever I see. Wonderful, wonderful. It's good that you can keep that up right now. It'll be even more amusing when it comes crashing down.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

>A crossroads has appeared for you and it doesn't look like it's going to end well for you. The wheels of fate are turning.

"How about I just end you?"
DT reaches for TBDRLIATU only he's not there.

>Forgot you left it in Silver Spoon's hooves already?

"Grrr"

>As if you'd be able to use him anyway. My how far you've fallen. You're as broken as your weapon. Pooooor you. I suppose it really does represent you. Where's that power creep now?

"Who said I only had one launcher?"
She pulls out Spike's Rocket Launcher and fires. Discord appears behind her and plucks the rocket launcher from her hooves.

>Ah yes. Spike's rocket launcher. Tell me. As someone who's been so sure of herself this whole time, how does it feel being forced to rely on the strength of others?

"Give me that back!"

>Or what?

"There is no or what. You're going to me it back!"
She jumps to grab the launcher,

>They're starting to hate you know.

"Who?"

>They know who they are.

"Am I suppose to care? I don't need the approval of others."

>Ah, that's quite debatable don't you think? You have a powerful need to be recognized, but you're not and get even worse because of it. You may be one of the best sources of chaos around.

"I think you're mistaking me for Fluttershy. I'm the very model of-"

>Ohohoho, au contraire. All it took was sending a traumatized guard to your little advice stand and look where it took you. Oh the spiral of chaos that followed you. The arguments you've caused were delicious. The plans that have been thrown into disarray were delightful! Don't forget the annoyed and the bitter. If certain people's headcanons are right, your propeller hat wearing mother would be proud.

"You leave my mom out of this!"
She throws a punch only to meet nothing, but air as Discord floats up.

>A broken girl who's on the brink of being broken further, so much rests upon a purple dragon. There are those who would rather see him fail, you know. He's not quite the favorite any more. Do you really honestly think he's the hero you need? Do you really think your faith in Spike is going to be rewarded?

She jumps and grabs the launcher.
"Spike promised. When he gets serious, he'll come through. He's not going to let me down."

>Ohohoho that confidence is still unshakable isn't it? Then how about a wager? If Spike comes up with a solution for others perceived as impossible. I'll open up an opportunity that money can't buy.

"Ha, yeah right. What could you possibly-"

>An opportunity to get even with Applejack.

"...and if Spike fails?"

>You get to be blessed with my chaos which may or may not change your character alignment.

"What?"

>I need to vent sometimes too. If I used you nobody would even notice. It'd be "in character," so to speak.

"I might be a kid, but this clearly isn't in my best interest. Stranger danger and all that."

>But we have met. Remember the clown at Partyland?

"...That was you?! That explains a lot. No thank you. I don't want anything to do with you."

>But we're so close, you and I. I thought you have full confidence in Spike. This should be an easy win for you. You already beat me once...or perhaps you've gone soft?

"Heh, you're talking gibberish. I'm not getting soft."

>You passed up an opportunity to get back at Applejack. You've left your weapon behind with your friend. I'm willing to bet Spike's rocket launcher is lighter than your old one isn't it? Are you still even lifting?

"I AM! AND I'M NOT SOFT!"
Fires a rocket at Discord. He swallows it and grins as it his belly explodes outward in a gory mess.
"AHHHHH!"

Discord snaps his fingers and goes back to normal.
>It's amazing how you were always spared the blood no matter how dangerous it became for you. It makes one wonder if your friends are envious that you always kept a certain...innocence no matter how hard it got...you should welcome my help you know. Spike isn't as reliable as you think.

"He'll pull through. He's...He's one of my best friends. I know that if he stood up for me, he's not going to break a promise to me."

>Rejecting a wager, help from the lord of Chaos, and still having full of confidence for your friend. Ohohoho, this played out much differently than I thought. Sometimes you surprise me a little. I like surprises. I see we're not going to get anywhere, so I suppose I should put you back. Well well, Spike. The clock is ticking and folks are getting anxious to see your meeting. I hope the meta fallout is going to be exciting as I'd like to think.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>56
“Sunset”
~~~~

>Heya!

“Oh joy, it’s you….”

>Yup! Nobody but!

“Didn’t the rest of your kind jumpship to the Empire?”

>This castle is a ship…? Are we at seas now?

“…Can’t tell if playing dumb or sincerely dense.”

>A bit of both, but you’ll never know. Did ya get my note?

“Note? You mean that shoddily written apology that seemed one part sincere and one part perverted?”

>Yeah!

“I got it, read it, and you can have it right back.”

A balled up piece of paper bounced off 56’s snout and his ears flicked, nose twitching.

>Ouch.

“Apology rejected, whatever your number is. Now, why don’t you scamper off to your new abode, far away from me? Maybe snuggle a manticore’s butt or something?”

Rubbing his muzzle, 56 beamed.

>If that’s a roundabout way of sayin’ go kill myself, I don’t think a manticore could hurt me! Not much can, now that I think ab-ow!

“And just what are you owing out, Mr. Indestructible?”

Wincing, 56 lifted his hoof, bringing light to the festive band-aid covering his wound.

>Dizzers jabbed me with this needle thing, said he took some of my love to examine. It really hurts when I step too hard….

“…”

>But anyway, you’re only one of a few on my list to see, Sunny. Sorry if I hurt your feelin’s-

“You didn’t hurt my feelings, you sexually assaulted me.”

>…Right, did that. You might not like me now but I’m gonna work to make it up to you!

“I fail to see how.”

>By joinin’ the Night Guard an’ protectin’ everyone! Includin’ you! I love my home, this one right here, an’ I don’t wanna see it attacked anymore… I don’t wanna see ponies runnin’ in terror, so I’m gonna fight with my bro an’ the others the next time bad guys pop up!

“…Huh.”

>Assumin’ not-mom doesn’t totally chain me to the Empire… Wish me luck!

“No. Shan’t.”

Undeterred, 56 continued off down the hall at a bit of a limp.

Which left Sunset feeling an amalgam of disgust towards the creature and intrigue at his plight. She knew 56 was one of the more invulnerable changelings, so to see him with a wound like that… He said Discord had taken some of his love, hadn’t he?

So wouldn’t that mean the Lord of Chaos was capable to crafting a ‘syringe’ capable of draining a changeling completely of their love…?

She scoffed, turning around with a whip of her tail.

“If only I despised you enough to actually test the theory, Fifty-Six. Ah well. …Good luck to you.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Chitania"
'Prostimare'
>Librarian

---

"...I'm hungry."

'Oh, okay. Well... jus' gonna sap me a lil', here? Or...?'

"No, no. Actual food. I crave... chocolate, for some reason."

'Oh! Ah know this real fancy place down the way, saw it when we got in town, like!'

"Go on..."

'Sells ice-cream, an' sweets, an' allsorts!'

"...Meh, let's go. I would just go by myself but I know you're going to follow me."

'Yer mah buddy!'

"..."

'Food ahoy!'

---

>...

>...OH THANK CELESTIA SHE LEFT

"I'm gonna come back."

>RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CD
>Spike
"Pommel"
~~~~
*Spike takes a breath*
>This was going to happen eventually.
knocks on the door

"Come in."

>Are you busy?

"Sort of. I'm wondering why we have an influx of recruits coming here. I would get it if ponies wanted to join because of the incident with Chrysalis, but this influx is from before that."

>That's because DT and I have been doing a privately funded recruiting campaign before you were nominated captain.

"Really? Wow, thanks a lot Spike! This may have saved us from Princess Applejack's deadline. This effectively means the guards are saved. Looks like we're not losing our jobs after all. Ha ha maybe it's time for a short celebration."

>Not quite. We still have a problem. We're not going to be able to finish the training in time. We'd be putting trainees on duty before they should be called legitimate guards.

"They'll make it if I push them harder."

>Pommel, they're pushed to the brink already.

"You should have more faith in the guards. They're more capable than you think."

>Don't tell me you plan to just give the new recruits helmets and send them out right away.

"No...well sort of. We'll train them for a few days and then make them learn the rest on the field."

>You'll be putting them out on the field before they're ready to be called actual guards.

"At least, we'd have a guard."

>As their instructor, it's up to me decide when they're ready to graduate boot camp and have the right to be called Royal Equestrian Day Guards. I'm not going to let you put them in danger before they're ready and if you really want to earn your position you should be worried about the safety of your own guards.

"What do you want me to do, Spike? If we don't send them out now, we're going to leave Equestria vulnerable. There's no way we can cover all of Equestria if we don't put more guards out right now."

>That's where you're wrong. A solution came up in the form of a bratty pink filly.

"Really?"

>Yes, really. Before you were nominated, DT was training the guards. When she got the guards to actually hit the target, I invited her to come back to join me helping to train the guards. She does it for free, so I didn't need to work in a new drill instructor. She's an official instructor like me, so remember to use her appropriately.

Pommel raises an eyebrow.
"Instructor? You can't be serious. She's a daddy's little princess with too much money and she's a kid. You expect me to believe she's a good instructor? I don't really see it."

>Hey, I'm a kid too, remember? She's doing a fine job.

"Describe to me how fine a job."

>Okay. She's been using the simulator heavily. I got curious. She's been saving her replays on the simulator, so I decided to peek at them to see what she was doing. Her first day, she made them fight Cordyceps to make them face their fears/trauma in a controlled environment. Another time she made them practice evacuating towns during emergencies and worked on their time. She also reminded them of what the job is really about; protecting the citizens. It gave them a little more spine. To work on coordination, she made them dance for recruitment ads. Later she got them to actually hit the target. Her way was extreme, but she did it. Then they used what they learned to work together and win against plushies. Probably the closest thing to revenge for the humiliation as they're going to get. She helped me lay the groundwork before you became captain.

"That...explains why they were easier to improve than I thought before I worked with them."

>...Didn't you check the paperwork before you started training? You would have known that DT's an official guest instructor similar to 77 and me.

"I...may have...skimmed some of the paperwork."

>...Perfect. Speaking of paperwork. I've been handling them this whole time since there's been no captain and someone had to do them, but now that you're the new captain, it's time I transfer the ball and chaiiii-I mean paperwork to you. You know that solution mentioned earlier? I need you to approve equipment that'll help the guards.

"Okay, equipment is good."

>I need you to approve the increase of storage space for the guards, so that they can keep the robots that DT bought for them.

"...what?"

>Robots. DT bought robots and decided to gift them to the guards. I want you to let them keep them.

"NO! No way am I going to allow robots among the guards!"

>Hear me out.

"No, Spike."

>Just calm down and-

"Remember what I said? No hearts? Unfeeling? Kind of opposite of what I'm doing?"

>I didn't say I'm trying to replace the guards. I want them to have new gear which happen to be robots. They're consumer models, so-

"There we go. No outside weaponry allowed. They should be official military weapons."

>Yeeeeah. I had to relax, then repeal that rule.

"What?! Why?!"

>Budget...In fact, the defense budget was slashed about the same time the A-team's budget was cut...so before even Chitania attacked we've been losing funding and it hasn't been revised. With a lot of the money being diverted to medical leave, soldier's benefits, city repairs, etc. there hasn't been any new funding to buy new equipment that gets destroyed or go missing, so folks are encouraged to buy their own stuff until I can establish a new defense budget. Kiiiiinda another reason why we can't make them official guards so soon because I didn't get enough funding yet. I thought I still had time to get it revised before we finished training them, but when both you and DT wanted to put the trainees on the field ehhh...I have to say we really shouldn't do that.

"...really? How come you couldn't get funding sooner?"

>Trust me. I tried pushing it, but I keep getting buried by other issues like education, housing, foreign affairs, getting that fence around Ponyville...which was suppose to be funded by the defense budget, but she didn't sign it. I should remind her about it. I've also been busy with instructing the guards and I have my own A-team assignments. There's a lot on my plate. I'm surprised you didn't consult me about training though.

"I- ...I'm still not letting them keep the robots. They are a risk and can be turned against us if somepony knows how to."

>They can be bounded to the owner and can only be remote controlled by that owner when bounded. While it's admirable that you believe there's no way a guard would be disloyal, I want to point out that it's a lot easier to pay off a guard than it is to find a specialist to make robots think differently. It'll be even more easier to pay guards off when people find out they're not getting paid. Putting untrained guards on duty when they haven't been weeded out is an even bigger risk than you think. I highly doubt guards will be willing to work for free if they get assigned to Detrot...DETROT.

"Robots can't feel and they're all the same, so you wouldn't be able to tell if they've been modified. What about the company that makes them? You're going to trust them?"

>They feature an artificial intelligence that's capable of learning and can eventually develop their own personality. Emphasis on they can learn. They can become unique depending on the owner and surroundings. They have something that's different to any robots we've seen, they're designed to have self-preservation. They don't like it when you try to open their heads...it's on the warnings section. If you're that worried about them getting tampered with. We can talk to Twilight and see if she's can to do something. When push comes to shove, I'm sure she'll think of something to make them tamperproof with magic. As for the company that makes them, I already checked them out. They typically completely overshoot what they meant to make and are terrible at marketing, but nothing suspicious about them. The Peacetrotters weren't selling, so their entire line was scheduled to be scrapped if DT hadn't bought them.

"I don't believe this. Didn't you fight these things? I thought you'd be against integrating robots into the guards."

>They're not the same robots and I know when to put away my bias if I can see a good thing.

"How is this a good thing? I put a lot of effort into convincing the princesses how bad the robots are and you're tearing it up!"

>Oh, I thought this is about having guards and protecting Equestria.

"It is!"

>Once again, I'm not trying to get rid of the guards. I'm trying to give proper equipment to the guards we have. You said so yourself that we can't leave Equestria vulnerable, but we can't push out the trainees before they're ready. Doing this will bolster the guards, give them equipment while trying to train more. Diversity is good. In Hyperspace Hyperwars, you don't want to only use a single type of unit and you don't want to do the same here.

"We're good with what we already have! The recruits are perfectly capable of learning on the job."

>I'd like to point out that you are trying to send poorly trained, poorly equipped, underpaid, trainees on the field and call them guards. As the closest thing you have to a predecessor, I need to tell you that this is a very bad idea. Letting them keep the robots is essentially giving them equipment to do their jobs right now. Meanwhile, I need to get the defense budget revised. If we're to make this work, we have to work together. With DT covering for me as instructor training them, and you taking over the paperwork load, it'll free me up quite a bit to get funding. Keeping the robots would help us protect Equestria now in the meantime.

"...this is some bullshit."

>...If that's really not enough to convince you, I need to show you something else. Let me pull out the specs.
Spike unfurls a rolled sheet of paper.
>While the shield generators are useful themselves, it's this that I'm interested in...they have a built in Ice Gun...it's designed to freeze things.

"Okay...What's that got to do with anything?"

>...Before Chitania went on a rampage, she was stuck. Frozen solid in a giant block of ice. When she became free she did whatever and destroyed whatever she felt like. Now here we are with Chitania walking in our very city. A volcano that could erupt if not handled correctly and no real way to fight her if she were to erupt. If the only thing that was able to stop Chitania in the first place was being frozen then what if we had an army of robots that are made to freeze things and it conveniently fell into your lap free. Are you really going to let this go?

"That...sounds like a stretch. No offense, Spike. Do you even know if this works?"

>That's why I need you to let them keep the Peacetrotters. I need to know if they're a viable anti-giant monster weapon. I need to know if they're capable of stopping...me if I became big again.

"Oh...Spike. From what I heard, it wasn't your fault you know. You weren't yourself."

>I don't want to turn into a giant dragon and find out I hurt other people, Pommel. I don't want to put them in a situation where they'd risk their lives to fight me, not when they have another option. Instead of putting thousands of lives at risk to fight a giant monster, we should use robots that are under our control instead.

Pommel sighs.
"You're putting me in a tough situation here."

>If there's a chance to put the guards in a safer position while protecting cities from giant monsters, shouldn't we explore it?

"...I'm going to regret this."

>You'll regret a lot of things in time, but this isn't one of them.

"...Fine."
He signs the appropriate papers.

>Good, because I already told DT to distribute them. I was even willing to go to the princesses to approve field testing them against giant monsters if you didn't sign.

"Oh for- Then what was the whole point of coming here?"

>I didn't want to pull strings if I didn't have to and because I needed to teach you your first lesson now that you're in that desk...the government is going to screw you...whether intentionally or unintentionally. Oh and while I'm here...

Spike pulls out a stack of papers.

>Here's the payroll for the guards. I'm glad I don't have to handle it any more. Don't mess it up. Ponies don't typically like it when they're not paid on time.

"...crap."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>DT
"Spike"
'Robot'

~~~~

>Oh Spike, glad I caught you, I wanted to show you a new feature that was added to the robots in case the guards need crowd control.

"Sounds interesting, what is it?"

>Unit 001, activate the panic protocol

'Protocol Initiated... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'

Every window in the hallway proceeded to shatter into thousands of shards

"OKAY OKAY, I GET IT, MAKE IT STOP!"

>001, stand down

'Protocol has terminated, awaiting next order'

>Cool, isn't it? Every robot has been equipped with a Personal Electronic Pulse Emitter, guarantees to knock out any anxious crowds

"..."

>I think it needs a few improvements though, come along 001

'Understood, engaging move command'

the robot leaves with DT on its back, stepping over the glass everywhere

"Maahhp...Maahhp...Maahhp."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Chrysalis
"SA"
~~~~

>Messing up Shiny's paaaapppeerrrrs!

"You know, I'm pretty sure you just crumpled the stuff for your guys with that one."

>Shit! Did I? Scooch it over, that stuff's important.

"Ever the considerate one."

>Bastion of confederacy, that's me.

"Consideration."

>...

"...Worried."

>HAH!

"And now not."

>Ahhhh, come on Shiny! The only time I would take this place over is if it was a requirement for finally getting some!... It's not, is it? Is there a 'win the Empire get some Shiny' clause in there?

"There is not."

>Then it sounds to me like you're in the clear!

"Oh good. I was worried there for a second."

>...That I was going to conquer your kingdom and make you my concubine?

"...At what point did concubines come into this?"

>Round the time I started drifting off and thinking sexy things.

"Don't... don't do that."

>Drift off and think sexy things? MIND POLICE! I AM BEING MIND POLICED!

"I meant- ugh."

>Ugh indeed! Also UNF, and HNGGGG, and Oooooo! And just a little bit of AH! AHHHH! before a touch of MMMmmmm... assuming you've been working on your form.

"You know, I haven't."

>Really? Hold up... EIGHTEEN!

"Don't you dare."

>Bahhh, no fun.

"..."

>...

"...I'm so glad you decided to live over here, permanently now."

>Yeah, this is going to work out.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Sunset
"???"
'???'
~~~

She had been walking.

Just walking.

Nothing suspicious, nothing interesting, just walking down the hall.... when she heard it.

*IT* being a simple conversation, a bit of nothing between two guards, a simple bout of words.

And it changed everything.

"So, yeah. Pommel."

'Still have no idea.'

"Pommel! You voted for him!"

'No, I voted for the ham sandwich, and that's only because Suckerpunch wasn't available.'

"...Suckerpunch? Really? That... guy who's main accomplishment is 'nothing, ever'?"

'Yeah! But he totally is sleeping with that changeling.'

"...And this is a win?"

'It's a MASSIVE win! I've always wanted to bone an alien!'

"...Well, she can shapeshift, can't she? What if she's the one who has a..."

'...Touche, dreamwrecker, touche... but seriously, who's Pommel?'

"Guy who got ate by Chitania."

'...Ohhhhh yeah. He's alive?'

"Apparently she spit him up."

>WHAT?

'...hi, miss, can we help-'

>Shut it! Pommel, Bronze Pommel, was EATEN, alive, by Chitania in her giant form?

"Correct."

>And he survived?

'...Thought that would be obvious.'

>Fascinating!

"Hey, you're a scientist, right?"

>Pfft.

"Right, point is... Shining Armor said he engaged her hoof to hoof in her smaller form, does that mean he-"

>WHAT!?

"..."
'...'

>SHE SHRUNK WITH HIM INSIDE!?

'...I... guess?'

>WHAT!?

".."
'..'

>WHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT

"I think we broke her."

'Looks like it.'

>WHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT

"...So, little bit of japonyise for lunch?"

'Better than fucking mexicolt...'

>WHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT

"...She'll be fine."

'Yep.'

>WHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT

~~~
NC-addition

>HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET OUT OF HER!?

"Jumped onto her dangly thingy, the...the..."

>Uvula.

"No, no, I was in her mouth."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sombra
“Applejack”
{Twilight}
(Rainbow)
[Fluttershy]
-Rarity-
~Pinkie Pie~

~~~~~

At the entrance...

>Are you serious? We've passed this gorge five times and not one of you recognized it?

“{([-...-])}”

~I blame the green pea polls!~

>... Green pea polls?

~They're right over there! Every time we came around they just kind threw us off course.~

>You're going to blame this on the Pea Polls?

~“{([-Pea polls.-])}”~

>Very well, so the tree is nearby?

“Right around this corner!”

And their it was, shining beautifully. Sombra just stared at it for several moments before a smile came to his face.

>The book didn't do it justice.

{There’s a book on the Tree of Harmony!?}

>There are a lot of things in the old repository beneath the palace, remind me the next time I see you and I'll let you take a peek...

[So what is it that you need to do?]

{Any why you need us, I doubt you would have asked all of us to come if you didn't need us.}

Sombra floated a small pouch from within his shadowy mane infront of the girls and pulled out the small crystal tear.

>I need to infuse this, a Moon Opal, with some of the magic within the Tree and the only way to do that... is through you.

(Through us?)

>Yes, as the last bearers of the Elements of Harmony and the ones to restore them to the Tree, you have a connection with it.

“So, what? Do ya want us ta ask it then?”

>Actually I just need you to get close to one another and hold hooves.

{...Really?}

>Yes.

-Really?-

>Indeed.

[Ok... Umm, Rarity?]

-Here, Dash darling?-

(This is weird, just saying, AJ?)

“Gotcha, Twi?”

{Alright, Pinkie?}

~Yay! Holding Hooves with my bestest friends! Somby?~

>... Really?

~Oops... You'll let me hold it when you get your body back right?~

>... Very well. Now I think I you just nee-

@Speak.@


Sombra blinked in surprise as he stared at the girls, their eyes glowing faintly, their voices having spoke as one. The former King's eyes widen ever so slightly as realization seeped in.

>Y-you are the Tree?

@Yes... and no. Now, speak.@

>I... I need your help, I nee-

@I know... why you are here, and what you need my power for. Forgive me, I am... not used to speaking with mortals in such a manor. Speech is odd and limiting. I am used to communicating on a more... Primal level? No that is not the word... you do not seem to posses such a word to describe how I communicate... But that is not the point I need you to speak. I need to hear why I should help you.@

>I wish to regain my bo-

@No. That is not relevant. I need you to tell me why I should help you.@

>I do not understand.

@... Why... Why... Why should I help you? A being of Chaos?@

>Chaos?

@You... You are a dark soul, trying to become something you are not.@

There it was, a fact stated by a higher being that knew better than he, and it hurt.

>I... I am... but I do not wish to be.

@...Why?@

>I wish to change who I am for the people I care about!

@...Why?@

>I do not wish to be like I used too be!

@... But you are not.@

>... W-what?


@You are not. You are not how you used to be. Evil has long since left you. So why do you need me to help you?@

>I... I... what?

@I seem to have confused you, forgive me. I am still trying to assimilate a bit more from my hosts... Ahh, let me try again. You are here to bring balance to your new physical being, so that it does not effect your consciousness when you reside in your new body, That can be assured. But you also wish for me to bring balance of spirit to you, do you not?@

>That is correct.

@But why?@

>You said it yourself I am a being of Chaos, a dark soul, I do not wish to be dark any longer.

@Ah, I see where I have erred of my previous statement. You are a dark soul IN chaos with yourself, trying to become something you are not. Just because you are dark does not mean you are evil. Evil is not something you are born with, though the shade of your soul is. You were born a dark soul, you can not change this about yourself.@

>Why not?

@Because it would completely destroy you.@

>...

@You are no longer consumed by evil, nor are you completely good. You, like everyone else, once again have the capability to do both. So I will ask again, more eloquently this time. Why should I help you destroy yourself, when you have already achieved the balance you so desire?@

>I... I didn't know that it could destroy me, I didn't understand.

@And now that you do?@

>I don't want that.

@Very well, I am glad that I could change your mind, knowing that you are so close to finishing your task only to destroy yourself in the process, it was heartbreaking.@

>Thank you, you've eased my mind so much. So... will you help me?

@It is already done.@

>What?

And sure enough the Moon Opal was glowing bright, an aurora of rainbow light dancing across its surface.


>... Thank you.

@You are welcome... I have done all I can for you, I do hope you are successful in your task... but what happens next is all up to you, for the hardest part is about to begin.@

>The Test.

@Yes... you must go now. You do not have much time left.@

>Once again, thank you.

“No problem, so what do we do now?”

Sombra blinked, the girls were once again back to normal.

>It is already done... Do none of you know what just happened?

(You mean we're already done?)

[Did something happen?]

~Oooh did we get possessed and have glowing eyes and- ~

{Pinkie I think we would remember being possessed!}

~Well how would you know, huh HUH!~

“Girls, GIRLS! Obviously what happened happened, we can deal with it later. I'm actually beginning to worry that maybe we should get back. Celly is bound to jump off the balcony any second now.”

(I can see it happening, alright fun's over!)

-Thank you! I can't wait to take a shower, this trip was really dirty.-

Sombra smiled as the girls walked towards the cave exit. He stuffed the now infused Moon Opal into its pouch and was about to follow when his eyes widened and he flickered from existence once more. When he materialized back his eyes bulged and he began gasping for breath. That was the most painful it had ever been. The Tree was right, he didn't have much time left.

~Sombra?~

His eyes widened and his gaze settled on his pink friend her eyes filled with concern.

>We have to get back to the Empire... I don't think I have much time left.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Screwloose
"12"
'Snake Eyes'
-PD-
=Sidewinder=

Slowly the metal platform screeched to a halt as it came to the end of its track, an atrium, its walls lined with slogans such as 'Progress: It's Our Paramount Priority!'. The trio stepped off the platform, walking towards the balcony that overlooked the entirety of the 'Brainbox'.

>Well, I'll give this to the silly little bitch, she can certainly make something look grand.

'Better than just a hole in the ground, I suppose.'

-Glad to hear you enjoy it.-

The haughty voice of Pennydrop brought the trio's attention to where she was standing at the foot of one of the sets of stairs, flanked on both sides by uniformed grunts and droids.

>Pennydrop.

-Screwloose.-

'Pennydrop.'

-Snake Eyes.-

"Pennydr-"

-Shut up.-

"Fuck you!"

-Not on your life, insect. You- -

Her hoof indicated Screwloose.

-You will follow Sidewinder's squad to your new lab...keep your pet on a leash.-

>All you need to do is supply one~

=...ew.=

"Oh, you're gonna need to get used to that, buddy."

=Can...can I switch places with-=

-No.-

=Damn.=

-And you, Snake Eyes, you will come with me and convince me why I shouldn't apply a taser to your fucking soul.-

>Nice to see that the throne doesn't corrupt.

'Such a lovely young lady,'

-HEY!-

'Yes yes, we're coming.'

Snake Eyes looked the two over.

'I suppose this is goodbye.'

>For now.

'Forever.'

>No...for now.

A knowing look crossed Screwloose's features.

'Take care of her, alright, bug boy?'

"I was already on the job before we got involved in...this shit, I'm not about to stop now."

>Ah the pervert, truly the noblest guardian a mare could ask for.

=Er...are you guys coming or...?=

>Come along, pervert, let's go see what depraved experiments we can get ourselves involved in.

"Right behind you."

The earth pony, changeling, pegasus, and all twelve of the assorted security entities marched off, leaving Snake Eyes and Pennydrop.

-You. My Office. Now.-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________