Incarnation #2

Incarnation - #2 - by bluedraggy

Saint Peter walked through the gate, literally. It wasn't like he was a ghost. It just appeared to not exist for the Gatekeeper.

"Well," X said to himself. "It is, after all, probably just a metaphor."

Part of him wanted to see what would happen if he tried to walk through himself, but he decided that this was probably not the right time or place to do that.  But then he had a second thought, "Why not? What are they going to do, send me to Hell twice?" He approached the gate.

Then he was walking away from it. He shook his head, turned around and tried again...

And then he was walking away from it again.

He ran at it. And then was running away from it.

"Okay," he said aloud to the sky. "You win."

"I always win," said God.

He sat down on the ground with a thump, barely noticing as he looked up at the sky.

Before he could even quite frame the question, God answered, "If I feel like it, anytime I want to of course! But your escort is approaching. Have a good afterlife, X."

He turned his head around slowly. Something was coming out of the mists behind him. It stood perhaps a little taller than himself, wearing an impossibly-black cloak. The head was enormous, but no features could be seen within the lowered hood. No feet or hands either, he noticed. But this was not the floating apparition of death. It walked with a strange gait, almost loping, towards him. But the bright red wings that sprouted from its back were unmistakable.

"Hello X," a voice came from within the hood. It was inhuman, but oddly soothing for all it's alien-ness.

He couldn't help himself. He tried to peer under the hood. "Hello, er... whoever you are!"

The figure shook it's head. "No use, man. My face cannot be seen in this place. It's not my... realm, you know."

"I see," the man lied.

"Well, come on. Take my hand. We have a long way to go, X. We can talk on the way."

The voice was deep and resonant, the vowels nearly a basso-purr, but there was something unmistakably feminine in it's manner as well. A hand of sorts extended from the long sleeve, but whatever the thing was, it certainly was no human hand. He shivered involuntarily.

"Sorry, X. No. I'm not human."

"A demon," X said as if it could be anything else.

"Oh Geeze," it said. "We've got an Einstein. What was it that gave me away? I bet it was the wings. It was the wings, wasn't it. Now Goddam... oh... sorry. I mean, Gosh Darn it, let's get moving. I've been walking for hours and my hooves hurt!"

X took the proffered hand and a strong grip helped him to his feet.

"There, that's better. No, keep holding my hand. You'll be blind for a while and it wouldn't do to get lost between the realms."

He took its hand and they began to walk towards the mists together.

"You're welcome," the figure said to the air.

"Hmm?" said the man. "I didn't say anything."

The black hood turned to him. "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to God. Is that as fast as you can walk?"

X quickened his pace and they passed within the mists. Darkness enveloped him instantly and he continued to walk, noticing the change in the ground immediately. It was no longer warm and soft, but hard, and a bit cool to his feet.

"Where are we going?" his companion said suddenly.

"Huh?" was all X could say.

"That's what they all ask. 'Where are we going?' You already know the answer to that, of course. They all do. But you must be thinking it anyway. Well, we'll be walking for a long time so I might as well tell you a little about it. Still, thank you for not asking. It's nice to have someone who isn't all blubbery and whining."

"I'm dead. Doesn't seem to be much point."

"Oh. You're one of those somber, morose types. Well okay, I prefer that to the other. Excuse me, now that we're out of Heaven I can take this off. Wait there a second."

The hand was removed and he heard the sound of cloth and the click of metal before he felt the hand take his again.

"There. That's better. No, no need to try and look around. You're blind, and you will be till we get there. We're passing through realms you may or may not believe in. You can't see them. At least, not yet. Just hold my hand. The way is long, but not difficult."

The claws were hard against his hands, but occasionally his fingers would brush against something farther up. Fur.

"Now, about Hell. It's not quite what you picture, though you'd recognize it right enough. I assume you've seen some of the paintings?"

"Some," he admitted, thinking back to any of those lurid medieval paintings with tortures only a true sadist could dream up.

"All utter bullshit of course, but what can you expect of artists who've never been there? There are some good ones though. I'm partial to Memling myself, but my friend Donner likes Blake. What about yourself? Any favorites?"

"I... don't really know. Never got into them really. They always seemed like old torture-porn to me."

The figure laughed deeply, the voice rising. "Torture-porn. That's rich coming from a man of your, predilections!"

"Hey, I never did it to torture-porn."

"I know, I know. Calm down. I know everything there is to know about you in fact. You could say I was 'briefed' on your life. Briefed as in I know every memory you've ever had, including those that you yourself don't remember, X. So don't try to bullshit me. We're going to be together a LONG, LONG time, you and me. I know exactly what you like and what you don't like, what you love and what you loathe. Tell me, what do you call tentacle-rape?"

"B-But that's different!"

"Oh is it? But no. That's for a later time. We were talking about Hell. Myself, I'm convinced Dante really did get a vision of Hell. But it's like he saw us through a fog, you know? Eating shit, boiling shit. Shit shit shit. The guy was obsessed. Sure we have our Shit Eaters, but it's not like that's the WORST we can dream up! I think that might have been the worst for Dante though, so he obsessed on it."

Suddenly the man began to shiver. This was it. He was really going to Hell. His life was over and he was going to spend eternity in Hell, eating shit or worse. He began to tremble.

"Hey HEY! I'm sorry X. I didn't mean to..."

"I'm really dead, aren't I?" he cried through blind tears. "I'm dead and I'm going to Hell."

"Jeeze, lighten up man! It's not THAT bad! Besides, Judgement Day hasn't rung yet. You don't have to abandon ALL hope... yet!"

The hand released his and he felt it wrap around his shoulders in what was apparently an attempt at a comforting embrace. The claws, however, were sharp against his too-soft skin. Suddenly he imagined where he was and what he was being held by and he howled in despair.

"Oh X," the creature said in empathy, hugging him to itself, but he was lost in his own blind agony. "Calm down. This is part of it, you know. Your first punishment. Blind realization of your circumstance. I know it won't help, but your imagination is so much worse than reality. Well, probably. I may be a demon, X, but I'm your demon."

They stood there, in between the realms of Heaven and Hell, for a long time while waves of despair washed over him until he was exhausted. His breathing slowed steadily as he felt the claws stroking his back, trying to sooth him like a child. It made him feel even more powerless, but it did help. And then he realized what else he was feeling. It was a She, undoubtedly and obviously! Fur covered, claws and apparently hooves that scrabbled and clacked as they walked, but the form that was hugging him to itself was undeniably female.