Anon's Napping Lessons (Twilight Sparkle)

“Aaaand there!”
>You put the finishing “s” on your sign.
>Sure you had to cram “lessons” in there at the end because you didn’t space your letters well, but it reads alright to you.
“Hands On “Napping” Lessons.”
>It’s… well it’s good enough!
>You meant to put stars around napping so people would be drawn to it, but they look kind of like quotes.
>Your artistic talent shouldn’t matter too much, it’s not the point anyway.
>Mom said laying around and reading at sixteen is a waste of youth and that you should get a hobby.
>Despite the fact that she spent her time reading until she was like twenty, you went and got a hobby.
>She’ll be so proud of you taking a teaching hobby like she has with the CMC.
>And nopony knows more about napping more than you!
>Just kick back at your stand and you should be rolling in students.
>”P-Prince Anonymous?!”
>You jump up and look at the mare opposite the stand.
“Oh, Hi Lyra. You can just call me Anon if you want.”
>The book said to get personal if you want to be an effective teacher.
>Lyra’s minty cheeks gains a slight pinkish tint to them.
>”A-Anon then… Umm… are you being serious with this?” she asks, rolling her head around to indicate your stand.
“Yup!”
>Her golden eyes scan your sign for a little longer.
>She frowns and looks back down to you.
>”H-how much for… this?”
>How much?
>You didn’t think about changing for this, but if she’s offering…
“Uhm… how does twenty bits sound?”
>That’s enough to buy a Banana Explosion with all the toppings from Pinkie.

>Also probably what your expertise costs anyway.
>”T-Twenty bits?!”
>You flinch slightly at her outburst.
>Maybe you’re not worth as much as you thought.
>No, wait… she’s smiling.
>”How much do I get for that? I-Is it at least an hour?”
>Well, now that you’re selling lessons that makes you a businesstallion.
>And your books said that the customer is always right.
“Uh, yeah! Twenty bits for an hour” you respond cautiously, “B-but since you’re my first I can-”
>Her eyes go even wider.
>She drops a sack of bits on your stand.
>”I-is this enough?!”
>You were going to offer half off on the lesson since she’s your first student, but…
>No, mom said you should always treat everypony like you’d want to be treated.
“Lyra this is way too much. I promise I’ll be good at this, you don’t need to buy this many hours.”
>Her face is a full crimson now.
>She must embarrassed, she did kind of insult you as a teacher so you can kind of understand why.
>You offer her a warm smile and take ten bits out.
“I’ll only take half because you’re so pretty.”
>Mom always buys it when you tell her she’s pretty.
>”S-so, do we go to your castle, or will my house work?”
>Oh hay, you didn’t even think about that.
>You don’t even have a chalk board.
“We can go to your house.”
>Lyra squees and you follow behind her.
>Maybe you can just make up the lesson since you don’t have any equipment like you planned to have.
>Really should’ve thought that through.
“Oof.”

>”Oh! Eager are we?”
>Whoops you bumped into her while she was opening her door.
“S-sorry!”
>”Oh don’t be young prince, I’m flattered!”
>Flattered?
>Maybe because a royal is visiting or something.
>Mom always complained about ponies making big deals out of stuff you’d think is normal.
>”My room is right this way~” she sing songs.
>You follow behind Lyra.
>She’s as excited about learning as mom is about books.
>Lyra shuts the door behind you.
>”S-so… how are we doing this?”
>Such a willing learner.
>Time to step up and be a good teacher just like mom.
“Well, first of all I need you to lay on the bed and get comfortable.”
>”Ooh, Like this?”
>She’s laying in the bed with her chest down and her rump in the air.
>Kind of how mom sleeps if she’s absorbed in a really good book.
>But this is beyond your expertise, so you should try to teach her what you’re familiar with.
“Um… maybe try being on your back?”
>”Your highness! Oh I can certainly do that for you.”
>She slowly rolls over onto her back.
“Good! Uh, now…”
>Hmm, if you a chalk board you could draw diagrams or make a checklist for how to relax into a nap.
>Maybe a physical example would be best since you don’t have any visual ones.
"May I?” you ask, placing a hand on the bed.
>”I’m all yours prince.”
>So attentive.
>You lay down next to her in a similar position.

>But it’s a little difficult to reach over and explain things like this.
>Thankfully she rolled onto her side to look at you.
“Perfect! Now, just close your eyes…”
>She lets out a soft breath and shuts her eyes.
>Your hand reaches over and rubs her belly.
>You’re about to tell her that relaxing her belly is a key to napping quickly, but she lets out what sounds like a short yawn so she must have picked up on what you meant.
>Her hoof slides over to you and you let it slide under you.
>You were going to explain the importance of pillows, but if you take the place it should be even better.
>You wiggle a little closer and she loops her other forearm around your shoulder
”That’s it…” you whisper.
>Her face inches closer and closer to you.
>It’s starting to worry you, but she lets out a big yawn and nestles into your shoulder.
>She was just showing you her yawning technique, it could use some improvement, but it was pretty good for a beginner.
>You decide to stroke her mane with your hand, just like mom did when you had a bad dream.
>You’re not a good teacher/businesstallion if your student/client doesn’t get a nap after all.
>You can hear the soft murmurs of contented napping seeping from her lips.
>Man, you must be a great teacher!
>Mom is going to be so impressed!

>”ANONYMOUS! What is all this talk I hear about you… you… SLEEPING WITH LOCAL MARES?!”
>Mom yanks your door back off the hinges.
>You didn’t have time to put away all of your purchases and bits.
>Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates.
>”Wh-WH-WHAT IS ALL THIS!?”
>You don’t know if she’s angry, proud, or upset.

“M-m-my hobby?”
>Her red face completely drains out, leaving a pale purple behind.
>Tears build up in her eyes.
>”Oh sweet Celestiia! Where did I go wrong?!” she sobs.
>You were just doing what she asked!
>You walk over to pale purple heap that is your mother.
>Your feet are soaked with the flood of tears pouring from her concealed face.
“Mom, I was just doing what you asked… I was teaching ponies like you do.”
>”How?!… H-H-How in Equestria could you possibly think this is what I do?!”
>Yeesh, she sounds like Rarity after a “hair faux-pas”.
“But you do teach, you taught the cutie mark crusaders about stuff… I was just teaching ponies about naps.”
>”N-naps?”
“Yeah, here let me show you.”
>You hoist up the limp princess and carry her over to your bed.
>Slowly you lower her down and lay down next to her.
>You pull her close and rub her belly.
>Her sniffles settle down some and she nuzzles closer to you.
“That’s it mom, you’re doing great. Now just shut your eyes and focus only on breathing…”
>Her eyelids close slowly and you can see her breathing become less “sobby” and more relaxed.
>You lean close and whisper just above her head.
“See mom, I just wanted to be a good teacher about things I’m good at. I wanted to be like you.”
>She coos in response and snuggles closer.
>You turn your head away from her and whisper even quieter.
“Also, I had sex with like… a TON of mares… I think it was actually all of the ones I taught.”
>It wasn’t your fault.
>They asked after the naps and you couldn’t just say no.
>They all smelled so good.
>But you told her, and she seems pretty content, so alls well right?
>”You are so grounded... for the next two years...” she mumbles.
>...Fuck.
>... Worth it.