Uber Challenge by Manocheese FAQ

Source: http://www.gamefaqs.com/n64/191702-donkey-kong-64/faqs/62583

Restrictions:
-No more than 1 Golden Banana
-No more than 3 keys
-Until every kong is freed, only Chunky can buy upgrades
-No Cranky upgrades with DK or Lanky
-No Candy upgrades except Trombone Tremor
-No Monkeyport
-Diddy cannot be used in Angry Aztec
-You cannot fight Mad Jack with Tiny
-You must shut down the Blast-O-Matic

As well as these standard speedrun rules:
-No cheats
-No Gameshark, Action Replay, etc.
-No crooked cartridge (touching the cartridge while playing)

This challenge was originally made in Summer 2011. Let's see how well this challenge holds up 3 years later with new findings.
Note: The source includes a walkthrough, but I'm going to be improvising along the way due to many, many outdated strategies.