Unforeseen Consequences - Under the radar

>”And here I thought that you were in actual danger, when in reality you were just having the time of your fucking life!” Catherine pulls out a baton from her belt and waves it to you
“C-Catherine? What are you doing?”
>”I’m going to fuck up that adorable face of yours!” Catherine raises her arm, ready to beat you to a pulp. You cover your face with your hooves, fuck using your magic. You are not going to hurt her.
>But she is stopped by Discord, who despite not having his magic, is still physically stronger than any human. ”As fun as it would be to watch you having your little revenge, our amount of time is incredibly dim at this moment, so I have to say, against all my instincts, that you can’t have your fun this time. I mean those soldier guys that you two spoke about earlier doesn’t sound like an understanding bunch…”
>Catherine glares at Discord and then at you, who were still cowering under your tiny hooves “Tell me something Anon…”
“Y-yes?”
>”Is it true what this guy said earlier about you?” She points at Discord with one hand while with the other she put her baton back on her belt “That you actually became a kid, not only physically but also mentally? Because I’m having such a fucking hard time believing that amount bullshit.”
>You slowly stand up and look at Catherine with some fear, you make an awry smile and rub the back of your neck with your hoof.
“Well… based on everything that has happened and the evidence that I have gathered, that hypothesis do hold water… yeah… you see…”
>You explain Catherine everything that you have learned and hypothesized about the childification process, about Discord making small changes to your mind coupled with your new body chemistry lead to a gigantic change to your actual self. That this whole thing was a real life example of the butterfly effect.
>”Well, shit… you know what? Fuck you Anon!” Catherine takes off her helmet revealing that curly brown hair that known her for.
“What? Why? What did I do this time?!”
>”Because you almost made me beat a small kid! You fucking moron!” Catherine takes a deep breath and pinches her nose “Jesus fucking Christ, now I actually feel bad about saying curses in front of you, I hope that you are fucking happy… Goddamn I’m still doing it… shit”
>You slowly walk towards Catherine and give her a little tug with your hoof
“Sooo… you are not mad anymore?”
>Catherine looks down at you, not knowing what to say. Baffled at your question she picks you up and raises you to eye level “You even ask shit like a kid now…” She closes her eyes and sighs “I guess that the answer is no… you are not the same Anon that I knew, and I’m not just talking about your cutesy new form… whatever… let’s go”
>She starts walking down the hallway, still holding you in her arms. Discord was laughing at you the whole time… goddamn, you wanted this to end already.
>As the three of you continue your trip, the sound of helicopters going and coming was increasing, which of course, started to make you nervous. The fact that this particular section of the facility lacked windows, and how tight the hallways were, made your anxiety peak.
“Hurry up! They will be here any minute now! And judging by the noise, they brought a lot of folks, who I’m sure, won’t hesitate to shoot at us!”
>”Hush” She gently puts her finger on your muzzle “I know that those guys are already here and are bringing great numbers. I’m not deaf, you know? We will get what you two came from, but first we need to go to the security post”
“No! That will just make us waste more time, please Catherine, I don’t want to get shot or be captured and then experimented on by those weirdos at biology”
>”And you won’t, I promise” Catherine pats your head… she was getting a little too cuddly with you “But we need to get to the post first, that way I can close all the blast doors, that will give us more time to maneuver, since they will have to either hack into the facility main system or cut through 1 meter of reinforced steel”
“Oooooooh, that’s right, I forgot that you could do that”
>”Hrnnn, but I have to ask my dear little rabbit. Will we encounter more humans in that “security post”? Because if that’s the case, then I think that you are leading us to the exact same thing that we are trying to avoid. And while normally I could transform them into pencils or nice mugs with my magic, I’m afraid that for this occasion, I’m… indisposed”
>Catherine tilts her head backwards and cocks an eyebrow “Well, considering that is late at night and that probably everyone has been evacuated, we won’t have much trouble with. About the last part… Anon, could you translate what this guy just said? I swear to god, every time he mentions fucking magic… sorry, every time he mentions FREAKING magic, I feel like punching him in the face”
>”You could try, but that would be veeery painful for you my dear. I might not hold much magic in this world, but I can still hold my ground against somepony like yourself!” that answer felt like if Discord actually wanted to challenge Catherine to try and punch him, he was even taunting her while giving her a huge smirk
>But the result is the opposite of what you assumed Discord wanted “AHAHAHAHAH! “somepony”? Give me a fucking break. Anon, please don’t tell me that you now talk like this! AHAHAHAHAH!”
>”Excuse me?! Would you care to repeat that?! And would you be so kind as to repeat it in front of my fist?!” Discord growls, shaking his talons that were curved into a fist
“Stop it you two! Yes Catherine, he is talking about magic, in that world, the concept of magic isn’t that weird, in fact…”
>You use your own magic to levitate her baton, taser gun and keys. Catherine’s eyes open wide, and she goes white. Again she was in shock, so much in fact that she accidentally drops you on the ground
>”Holy fucking shit! You weren’t lying! You sons of a bitch can do magic!” Before she can go into a new state of shock, Discord slaps her on the back of her head making her yelp but also helped to return her to reality
>”Ouch!” Catherine glares at Discord, ready to throw a punch at him “you mother-“
“Catherine!”
>”What!” she yells back “Can’t you see that I’m about to kill this weird asshole back into his alien world?!”
>You groan, this time you use your magic to make her stop
>”W-w-what the hell is going on, why can’t I move?” Well, freezing individuals on place was surprisingly easy. You felt bad about her freaking out, but you needed to put a stop to this useless fight
“Calm down, Catherine! Yes we can use magic, and yes they use the word everypony, anypony and so on in that world. I don’t use such things, because well… you can guess why. Now please stop! I’m sure that by this point the military has already raided half of the facility!”
>Catherine mutters something before giving her answer “…Alright… let’s go…”
>You nod, letting Catherine go free from your magical grip. She takes the stuff that you used to display your magic to her and picks you up, holding you tight.
>The rest of the trip to the security post was spent in silence. The only interactions that were going on were the ones in between Discord and Catherine. The former would tease and mock her while the latter would just give him a nasty glare before focusing on stroking your mane.
>”Okay, here we are” Catherine clumsily searches in her pockets for her keys to open the security post, she was struggling with her own “abilities” and the fact that she was carrying you around “Fuck… okay here it is…” Catherine unlocks the door and opens it “Now, I only need to… oh… fuck…”
>Inside the post there was the main console that controlled all the doors and cameras on this side of the facility, it also had a cabinet filled with taser guns, stun grenades, and all the stuff that the guards carry around, but what made Catherine –and your heart- froze was what the images displayed on the monitors.
>The military was already raiding the facility, they were already inside the ecology labs, anomalous materials, and they were heading with an impressive speed to your current position.
>Catherine drops you on the floor and runs towards the main console. She types something on a keyboard and seconds later, you see in the monitors all the doors closing ”Shit, shit shit, shit, shiiiiiiiiiit! We need to get those fucking antibiotics and pronto! They are already past the blast doors, and the security ones won’t hold them for too long!”
>And she was right, the soldiers were already trying to force their way through the security doors by melding them.
“Oh fuck, well, it seems that they haven’t reached microbiology, we can try there and-“
>”Wait, Anon” Discord stops you, looking awfully relaxed for the situation that you were in “Don’t tell me that you are not going to take a souvenir? If I were you, I wouldn’t want to return to Equestria empty hoofed, soooo, take this as an initial appreciation token”
“Oh yeah, uhhh… let me see…”
>You quickly do an inspection of the security post. The only thing that you actually needed or wanted was the set of walkie talkies and a more powerful radio that were recharging on a table. Maybe Cherrywood will like them, who knows
“How about these? I can think of a lot of fun stuff that I could do with those radios”
>Discord snaps his talon, making everything inside the post disappear in a poof. It was needless to say, that Catherine was awe-struck by this display of chaos magic ”I… wha-…. My security post! YOU SON OF A-“
>”Ah, ah ah, I wouldn’t try that if I were you, my little rabbit.” Discord shakes his finger at Catherine “That wouldn’t go well for you, especially since now we are under an even tighter time limit”
>”You…. Agh! FORGET IT!” Catherine punches the wall and picks you up, leaving the room at a frantic pace.
>Discord shrugs and tags along. The three of you advances towards the microbiology lab, the buzzing of helicopters was getting more intense, and you can hear the voices of soldiers yelling in the discance. They were close, dangerously close, and as sturdy as the security doors were. They aren’t going to keep them outside for too long
>But almost as if it was a gift sent from the heavens, you see along the way a certain laboratory that you always wanted to get your hands on.
“Wait! Let’s stop here; we need to get inside that place!”
>You point at the door that was labeled as “Xenobiology and Xenophysics laboratory – Dr. M.H. Frisk – Ph.D. in xenobiology”
>”What? We are supposed to be in a hurry, remember? Why would you want to get inside…” Catherine looks at the door that you were pointing at and raises an eyebrow “Crazy Frisk’s lab? Why the hell would you want to get in there?”
“Do you remember why the fired him?”
>”Ugh, yes, the fucking loonie used to work on shit like aliens and crap like that. Wasted billions on that shitty stuff and then when they kicked him out, the asshole managed to sucker punch a couple of my guys”
“Yup, and I remember that there was a big scandal about him stealing resources from virology and microbiology to use them on whatever he was working on. Kinda makes you wonder why this lab is still here, and why is his name still engraved on that door”
>Catherine sighs “Well, believe it or not, the lab is still up and running despite Frisk being fired a little over a year ago. And why is his name still engraved in the door?… you know how much of a cheap bastards the administration folks can be”
“Really? Well, I never noticed… I supposed because I never walked through this parts that much… still, is good to know that the administration hasn’t changed their ways of being a bunch of assholes- AGH!”
>Catherine gives you a pretty hard bonk on the head “You are not allowed to curse! It was fine when you were… well, a human, but now is just fucking creepy to see such a cute colt speaking like a drunken sailor”
>Discord burst out of laughing “HAH, see Anon? Nopony likes a colt that is a potty mouth, and the best part is that this time I didn’t have to bring soapy the soap bar! I just hope that the poor guy won’t get offended. But tell me, why is that lab important? I got bored by your conversation and didn’t pay much attention”
>You turn to Discord and give him a mischievous look.
“For starters, I know that Frisk worked with all kind of antibiotics for his experiments, he even used stuff that was supposed to be vaccines for animal diseases, specifically, the wild life of Black Mesa, which is kinda similar to Fluttershy’s animals, or at least that’s what I suppose. And secondly, that madman had the best equipment in the facility, by a long shot, so what do you say if we take everything that is inside there. Now Discord, if you could work your magic, I would be very grateful”
>”I was wondering when you would ask that. Very well Anon, but why don’t we give the little rabbit here a little magic demonstration? Just for fun!” Discord turns the knob of the door… but it was closed “Hrnnnnn” Discord pulls it harder, even punches the door with a mighty hit… but still nothing, the door won’t budge
“Discord, that’s a security door, they won’t open unless you have a key card. You can’t also knock them down with just a mere punch since they are incredibly sturdy. Those are designed to hold explosions, it would be impossible for us to get in there, unless you know… we had a key card, like the ones that the security guards use to carry around”
>Catherine rolls her eyes, and with one hand she pulls out her key card from her pocket while holding you with her other arm
>”You could just put me down, you know? You seem to complicate yourself by an awful lot by just using one hand to do everything”
>”I know but…” You see Catherine’s cheeks go red “You are so goddamn adorable that I just can’t help it! Like holy fuck, you are softer than any plushie or little cat that I have ever hugged!” Catherine chuckles and uses the key card, making the door to Frisk’s lab open
>The lab was fairly big not counting the anomalous materials reactor, and whatever the fuck was going on beyond the lambda complex, this was probably the largest lab in the facility.
>You calculate that it must 200x300 meters in dimension. It was filled with all kind of equipment used in different fields of research.
>From physics, to biology, to chemistry, this lab was built for all kind of stuff. In one corner it even had some big ass computers that were used to do complex mathematical calculations and models.
“Aha! Here we are Discord! Now if you may-“
>”Not so fast Anon” Discord effortlessly takes you away from Catherine’s grip “First you are going to tell me where’s the medicine for Fluttershy’s little pests, then you get your “pay” got it?”
>Discord drops on the ground, making you yelp from the hit. You take a good look at the lab, well, it was in order. It seems that despite that crazy motherfucker being fired even before you left, this place was still being kept in a very… particular fashion
“Okay, Okay! This shouldn’t take that long either. Frisk always labeled his stuff as if they were going to be used by little kids.”
>”Which its kinda ironic considering that you are one” Discord adds, you don’t turn to him or bother to reply… you don’t want to see his fucking grin, and he was kinda right to be honest.
“Okay… let me see…. Aha!”
>Well, you knew that Frisk was incredibly childish in everything he made, but man this was something else. Labeling a fridge as “Critters vaccines fridge” was a little too much. Wait, you need to know first what fucking disease Fluttershy’s pets had, right?
“Hey, Discord…”
>”Hrrnn?” Discord was busy checking something that was behind a lab table “What is it Anon? Can’t you see that I found a little rat trying to sneak on us?” Discord pulls from behind the table a scared scientist... who thankfully you didn’t know who he was.
>”Now, what should we do with him?” Discord asks with some malice while shaking the poor guy
>”NO, PLEASE! I WILL DO ANYTHING! I’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO KNOW!  BUT PLEASE, DON’T KILL ME!” the guy was squirting around, almost pissing his pants.
>”H-hey! Let him go! We have enough problems already, and I don’t want that little faggot to complicate us even further!” Catherine yells from the door
“Wait, Discord, we can use this guy”
>You turn your attention to the frightened scientist
“Hey, you! Tell us what your research field is, and we won’t kill you!”
>”Anon! Killing him is exactly the kind of problem that I want to avoid!” Catherine protest, but doesn’t try anything in fear of your magic
>”AAAAAAAAAH!” The scientist seems to be even more scared, looks like your little threat worked “I-I’m a virologist! Please! I don’t know anything that would be useful to you”
>”On the contraire~” Discord pulls the scientist closer to his face “You actually know everything that I need, because that means that you know about diseases right?”
>The scientist nods “Yes, b-b-b-b-b-b-but I only know about animals! PLEASE, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HUMANS! I AM OF NO USE FOR YOUR PLANS!”
>Discord lets out an evil chuckle “Wrong again my scared pal! You see, somepony like you is the exact kind of guy that I was looking for. So you are gonna tell me what medicine I need for a bunch of woodland critters who are very, VERY sick with some awfully severe fevers, who are also in constant pain AND that also happens to have inflammations on their sickengly adorable limbs”
>”Ahhhhh….” The scientist scratches his head, thinking hard about what in the world that disease could be “D-d-do they also present diarrhea and vomit?”
>Discord nods “Yesss, have you thought of what they could be suffering from, or will I have to turn you into a duck?”
>”P-PLEASE DON’T… I think… that they have, ah, P-Pasteurellosis. Y-you only need to administrate penicillin! Is in the fridge over there! Administrate 3 micro-liters per every milliliter of water and that’s it! NOW PLEASE LET ME GO!”
>Discord turns his head to you in a 180° making everyone in the room cringe ”Did you get all of that Anon? Because I sure as tartarus didn’t understand all of that techno-hippy-babble””
>You slowly nod
“Y-yeah, ehh…”
>You point at the fridge labeled as antibiotics and ask the scientist
“What we need is inside here, right?”
>The scientist frantically nods “Y-Yes! O-oh! And if the patients are allergic… t-then you can use tetracycline or chloramphenicol! And y-you use it the same way as with penicillin! 3 micro liters per every milliliter of water!”
>Discord doesn’t say anything, he snaps his talons making the fridge disappear “That should be it… oh wait I almost forgot!” Discord looks at you and gives you a smile. He snaps his talons once more and makes the whole disappear in another poof.
>”WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LABORATORY! WHAT DID YOU DO!” The scientist puts his hands on his head, he was shocked, so much in fact that he faints. Discord rolls his eyes and tosses him away like some dirty clothing.
> Catherine gasps and runs to where the unconscious scientist landed ”Oh no! Is he?” she checks his pulse “Oh thank goodness…” she sighs in relief “He just fainted”
>”Well, of course my little rabbit. But now that we have everything that we came for, is time to talk about our deal-“
*KRAKOOM*
>You hear an explosion nearby, soon after that, a whole squadron of soldiers enter the now emptied laboratory. They were carrying machineguns and wearing gas masks and heavy armor. You didn’t know much about this kind of stuff, but you know that bullets can hurt, a lot”
>”Surrender or we’ll open fire!” The soldiers raise their guns and start to surround you forming a semi-circle around your group.
>You and Catherine raise your hands…well in your case, hooves. But Discord, he was floating in midair with his talons and paws comfortably placed on the back of his head… wait a minute
“Discord?! I thought that you could only use that teleportation spell!”
>”Oh did I say that?” Discord rubs his chin with his paw “Eh, I think that I lied then” Discord lets out an evil chuckle that unnerves the soldiers.
“You what?! Oh come on!”
>*ka-chink*
>The soldiers ready their weapons “ON THE FLOOR! NOW!” Their leader yells while the rest adopt attack positions. Discord stretches himself, contorting his body in all kind of impossible ways “Nah” he replies with a smug tone
>Catherine was shaking, you were shaking. The soldiers were ready to open fire and Discord looked like he didn’t care ”Please, just do what they are saying! Anon, tell him to stop!”
“Disco-!”
>”Oh hush Anon, you are going to spoil my food!” Discord snaps his talons, making all the blue goo appear in a gigantic dinner table. Discord grabs a fork from the table and uses it to eat the blue goo as if he was eating pasta… disgusting, and blue pasta.
>You and Catherine watch in disgust as Discord swallowed the entire thing “Aaaaaah, delicious, delicious chaos!” Discord snaps away the table and looks at the soldier “Now, what will I do with you, hmmmm… that is actually a good question”
>The soldiers doesn’t wait for Discord to finish his meditations, the commander yells “FIRE!” and soon after, you see a bunch of flashes… that was it.
>… But nothing happens, you open your eyes and see hundreds of bullets held in midair, all of the soldiers were paralyzed by either fear… or something else
>”Why, this is the most rude behavior that I have seen from a host since I visited Twilight last week! No, no, this cannot be. I need to do something to fix your modals” Discord snaps his talons, making a good chunk of the soldiers transform into something too awful to see… pompous French butlers
>”Hon hon hon, what iz the problem, sir?” the butlers chant in unison. The rest of the soldiers throw their weapons and retreat.
>Discord cackles before shifting his attention to Catherine ”Well my dear little rabbit, as fun as this was, we cannot stay here forever. Me and Anon are going to return to Equestria, so you have two choices. The first is obviously to stay here and pretend that we were controlling you or…”
>Catherine takes off her belt and throws it, immediately one of the butlers picks it up and dust the place where it landed ”Stop with your bullshit, I am coming. But with one condition”
 >Discord cocks an eyebrow “Oh, I don’t think that you are in a position to negotiate, but go on, I might get a laugh out of it”
>Catherine looks at Discord in the eye “I don’t want to become a little kid. If I’m going, I just want to be a few years younger…. And you better give me some cash to start over, because I sure as hell won’t be begging for some fucking spare change”
>You feel the urge to protest, but what other option there is? If she stays, she was going to get interrogated and then probably judged. There was no other option
>Discord rolls his eyes at Catherine “Oh please! That is actually fairly rational. I thought that you were going to ask me something more interesting….” He let out a frustrated sigh “Very well, I will grant your wish, I’m a draconequus of my word after all”
>”What the fuck is a draco-“ Catherine isn’t able to finish her question. Discord snaped his talon before she was even able to, making her disappear in a poof
>You start to hear more footsteps coming to your position. The soldiers were bringing more help to deal with Discord
“Discord, we need to-“
>”I know Anon, I know. Don’t worry, we are leaving right now. Oh, and don’t worry about anything, not much time has passed in our world… but don’t you think that this is over. We still need to talk about other important things”
“Wait, what important things? Discord, what are you hiding for me?”
>”Hiding? Me? Oh Anon, it hurts that you have me in such low regard, but you will see, oh you will see… and you better love it” Discord gives you an evil grin before snapping his talons.
>It just took less than the blink of an eye to drop inside your bathtub. You were confused as all fuck, so you quickly finish your little bath and dry yourself. You step out of the bathroom and see…
>Cadence and Cherrywood, right as you left them… holy fuck, Discord was right. It shouldn’t have passed more than a few minutes in Equestria…. Goddamit, the string theory cultist were right about how shit works across different dimensions.