'Snow' Job I'd Rather Have Ch. 1

Snowy follows his dream of becoming a comedian
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	“ok kid, you got quite a bit to learn if you wanna go pro,” Sans said, looking down at Snowy. The ice drake nodded enthusiastically, clutching a pen in one wing and his notebook in a talon. “you have to get to the equilibrium between forced and subtlety. if you make it too forced, people are gonna groan, but not in the good way. good puns are for sure to make people groan, but if it’s way too forced, they’ll not hate it because they love it. they’ll hate it because they hate it.”

	Snowy hastily scribbled down Sans’s notes, thankful that he talked slowly. “but, if it’s too subtle, it’ll go over their heads and the crowd will be silent. a silent crowd is the death of a comedian.” Sans spoke surprisingly seriously for how laid back he tended to be; he waved his arms, his movements articulating his words. Puns were the one thing that he loved almost as much as Papyrus, and that was saying a lot.

	“so yeah, don’t push too hard, but don’t roll over. or you’re gonna get boned.” Sans winked. Snowy was so focused on writing the pun nearly missed his ears. In the middle of the word ‘push’ his pen stopped, a laugh erupting from his beak. “have fun with it, kiddo. that’s the golden rule.”

	Snowy nodded, adding little asterisks next to the rule, “timing and  delivery, that’s important, too. always gotta make sure you hit your mark. you don’t want to be quiet, so if you run a blank, take a sip of water while you think. when you do think of a good one, you’ve gotta gut punch ‘em.”

	“Sucker punches? That’s ice cold,” added Snowy while still scrawling at his paper. Sans opened his mouth to speak, raising his finger before the joke hit him. His usual smile turned to a smirk and his finger crumpled, he chuckled at the subtle wordplay.

	“that’s the spirit.” Sans said between his laughs, “you’re a natural.”

	“Hey, there’s ‘snow’one I’d rather be.” Snowy said as he looked up with from his paper, a cheeky smile adorning his beak. The two laughed, Sans wiped one of his eyes. “What, you think that I’d ‘ava’launch my career off luck?”

	Sans was in stitches--the kid was good, no doubt about it. “and here i thought i was dealing with a novice. when’d you say your performance was?” he asked..

	“A couple of days, why?” Snowdrake responded..

	Sans popped his knuckles, along with a bunch of other oddball bones in his body. “because that gives us much more time for practice. a smooth performance is essential, and practice makes perfect. you won’t get better doing nothing. unless you’re me.” He winked again, “so let’s get crackin.’”

	Snowy laughed at the pun, “Is that a challenge? Looks like I’ll have to ‘put you back in your place.’” A competitive glare matched his smirk. The battle was on.

	“oh, ho, ho,” said Sans, “‘ice’ seriously hope you don’t think you have a chance against m’ice’lf.”

	“You? Win?” Snowy laughed. “What is this, a ‘femur’ dream? You’re all washed up, your puns are ‘bone dry.’ The odds are ‘stocked’ in my favor.”

	Sans began to sweat. Snowy was unbelievably quick. “jeez kid, where’d you learn this stuff? ‘collar’ me impressed.”

	“Oh ‘slush’ you, humbling will get you nowhere.”

	“i’m being serious, your puns are ‘radial.’”

	“Well, my dad was a big influence, but ‘tibia’ honest it was mainly just me one day deciding to do puns.”

	“no practice?”

	“Practice? Who needs it, this just happens.” Snowy said smugly, “I can come up with one off the top of my head.”

	“oh yeah?”

	“Yeah!” He stood proudly, his wings on his hips. An awkward silence filled the air, Sans just standing and watching the young drake.

	“uh huh.” Sans said, “you got one?”

	“Uh-um… maybe you should, erm, bone... skeleton? uh…” Snowy sputtered

	“i see. you got a bit of practicing to do, don’t ‘flake’ on it. if you do, your whole career will  ‘snow poff’ and ‘snowball’ out of control.” Sans walked past Snowy to the door. He put a reassuring hand on the teen’s back, “you’ve got this. as i said, you’re a natural.”

	Snowy swallowed his fear, nodding at the skeleton, “Thanks a ton, Sans”

	“a skeleton,” said Sans as he winked again as he left the Drake residence.