Thread 107: Stories 16-30

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>29
"???"
~~

>Teacher?

The endless void seemed to hold him as he wafted through it, weightless, yet carried all along all the same. Time had ceased to mean anything in such a place. If it had been a minute, an hour or more, he could not tell. It was all an instant, yet everlasting to him

>Teacher? Uh... I perhaps feel mine earlier comments were... in haste? Not to say I was not correct, of course, merely that I feel that maybe mine words were not as carefully chosen as I am known to be on most occasions. Perhaps I should have put a little more thought into what I spoke... Teacher?

He swam left, or at least what he assumed to be left.

Nothing but an endless, empty void.

>Teacher really, cease this immediately! I have word that needs done back at home, send me away this instant! I have limits to what I will stand and thou have clearly crossed it in leaping gaits! Away with me, back to mine home and residence! Away I said!

Alone.

>...Zecora and Marey will come for me, if this is how thou wishes to act! They will get thine sister and have her force my release quick as my wit! This is unacceptable! I am not some thing to be held like a child against mine will! Release me! Release me I said!... RELEASE ME!

Simply... alone...

>...They'd come for me. I... if they did not, then mine cousin would! He would miss me! I would be missed! I would not be forgotten so easily! They would face anything, even you, to get me back! They would not stand for this!

"Nobody is coming for you."

At last, a voice.

And how he had wished it was not so.

>Yes they are! They will see to it that I am rescued!

The voice did not even answer him this time, merely content to let him float in nothingness.

>Nothing to say!? No challenge for me this time!? SPEAK! Go on! Tell me more lies! SPEAK!

He felt it again.

The nothing.

>...Hello?

For the first time since he had come in this place...

He felt it.

>...They would come for me. They... I am not that much of a bother...

Doubt.

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 >7
"Buttercup"
~~~~

"Her am not back yet."

It was not the first time she had said that, he very much doubted it would be the last unless the one in question revealed herself, yet he never seemed uneased by the matter. He was content, merely by the act of helping Bubbles back into her bedding so she could rest. Despite her monstrous size, she was always one to get tired if things became too hectic.

And, undoubtedly, they had been.

"Me am not going back."

It was not the first time she had said that either. He also very much doubted it would be the last, regardless of what was to come.

>Stop worrying, it will be fine. I'm prepared if she says no.

"How? Her... Strong. She am stronger than..."

Than me, he finished in his mind. He knew how much that irritated her, even if he could not help but feel relief that she understood her limits. He always worried about her, most of all...

>It will be fine, I said.

"... Me going to stay with you?"

Fear, now that was something he wasn't used to hearing in her voice, no matter how much she tried to hide it.

So why, he wondered, did it make him smile?

>Yes, Buttercup, you're staying with me. You, Bubbles, and of course...

He didn't say it. Nor did he need to.

>It will be fine.

"...okay."

She believed him, he knew she did, without question.

Now... If only he could be so sure himself.

>It will be fine. Just wait and see...

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>Cadence
"Chrysalis"
~~~

She had listened.

A rare event for her, she had listened. She had not said anything, or mocked her during, or even let out a single one of her trademark laughs. Perhaps it had been a rare moment if altruism, perhaps it had been a grander sign of some kind of understanding that had at last made it through into the skull of the ever slow on the uptake changeling Queen.

Or maybe it had something to do with the dumbfounded and totally lost look that she was so desperately hiding behind flame after flame whenever Cadence just so happened to look away.

That might've been a contributing factor.

>I know it's selfish, but is it really so wrong to hope that everything would fall apart if I wasn't here? Is it really that selfish to just kind of hope that maybe I'm vital in some way? I'm the princess! I mean, look at my cutie mark! Look at it! I was destined for this, literally! Literally destined for this! I was all set to be the princess of this place before I even knew it was a place! Is it really that selfish!? What, am I just supposed to be like "Oh sorry, destiny, I guess you got it wrong on this one! You were looking for the maniac with the paperwork knack!"

For, while she had initially come in with the best of intentions, those intentions had long since been lost to sheer, nullified stupefaction. She had no idea what, if anything to say, and were the princess able to peer through the illusions of stoic understanding plastered across her face, that would be plain for her to see as well.

But luckily, or perhaps unfortunately depending on how one looks at it, she had no such ability, and continued on unabated.

>I'm trying really, really hard with this stuff too! But just... how does she do it!? Is she literally reading everyone's mind to learn it? I'm not even mad if she is, just share! Share your stupid mind magic so I can actually fill out more than some basic forms! Just share! I share!

She continued on, and on, and on, until all she was left with was a deep, sad sigh, and shoulders that would have hit the ground had they not been in their sockets.

>...You know the sad part? This whole... this thing with Shining, it's just... it's almost like it's not even a big deal anymore. It's feeling less and less important as time goes on, but this... thinking about being found out just keeps stinging, because I just want to know that they need me... not Shiny, I know Shining needs me. H-heh, the only good thing about this stupid position, I know he... he needs me, and I need him, but... what about them? If someone found out today what I really do, would they just say... thanks, but we don't need you? Would they just shrug and say instead... you can go now, we're covered....

She kept slumping lower, and lower, until her stomach and chest touched the cool ground, and she lie there, prone before the Queen, as she had been so long ago, yet somehow in even worst circumstances.

>...Why am I even a princess anyway?

The question hung in silent air for a time. Never grasped, never taken. The question remained, the Queen letting it hang there as her mind was alight with thoughts that burned as hotly as any flame she had ever conjured, as powerful as any magic she had ever cast.

And as hollow as any lie she had ever told. She could not, no matter what words she tried to bring to her silver tongue, think of a single word to be spoken in comfort or in wisdom. The Queen, the one who prided herself on spinning words so intricate any spider would bow in awe, found nothing to her beck and call. She relied on her flames to hide her, as she always had, even as she desperately searched to no avail for the words Cadence sought, to be the one to solve this problem as it so needed to be.

The question hung in the air, remaining untaken, and never grasped.

Cadence, however, did not. She was lifted, by hooves endlessly stronger than hers, and forced to look into green eyes. Forced to watch as flames appeared once more, and that look fell away. Taking away the powerful look that the Queen always held, and instead...

Something else.

"Do you want me to set something on fire?"

It would have been something that tore her side in half, had it not been said with such an honest and desperate voice. The simple way she said it, much like a child asking if their parents wanted them to put up their toys because they had been fighting. For as horrible as it was to say, very seldom had she ever heard the Queen sound more honest, if ever.

>...Yes.

It was not healthy, it was a distraction and nothing more. This would fix nothing, solve nothing, but...

If only for the night, if only for this moment.

She was going to have some fun watching Chrysalis set stuff on fire.

"HAH!"

The Queen could provide no answers, she could not speak with sage advice or cunning words of wisdom in the grand scheme of rule. She knew what she knew, and that was it. She could not, no matter how much she wanted to, answer a single question for Cadence. She could not answer them just as she could not answer the questions of her own that threatened to crush her skull with their implications, the thoughts of advancement and rule that weighed on her every bit as powerfully as what Cadence herself was pressed down upon today.

This was all she could do. Make it easier, take the load off for just a little while, for the both of them. This was what she knew.

It would solve nothing.

It would answer nothing.

It would fix nothing.

But, if only for a night, if only for a moment.

They were going to have some fun.

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>Pinkie
"Chitania"
'AJ'
~~

>...You know, I don't think me and you have ever actually talked.

"That is for the best, you seem annoying."

'Trust me, she's right... er, bout that bein' for the best, Ah' mean. Not the... yer' not annoying.'

>Oh yeah!?

"...What part of that are you 'oh yeah'ing to?"

'Mite confused mah'self.'

>Well, if that's how you want to play it!

"Play what? What am I playing?"

'PINKIE NO!'

SPLAT!

>Now who's annoying!?

ZOOM!

'...O-oh shit...'

"...huh..."

'...'

"...huh..."

'...'

"....huuuh..."

'...Why ain't ya' stompin' stuff?'

"I... I've just gone completely numb... she hit me in the face with a pie..."

'...'

"...I don't... I... I'm Chitania! I can grow a hundred hooves tall and smash stuff! I... and she..."

'...'

"...Huh."

'..huh...'

"...She is annoying."

'She can get like that, yeah.'

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[Pommel]
~~

[Princess? Is she bothering you?]

'N-'

"Yes, I am bothering her. She is very bothered. Are you going to do something about that?"

[I might.]

"...I ate you. I ATE you. I didn't even mean to! Completely by accident, even and I didn't even care enough to chew when I did! My act of walking with my mouth open is so far beyond you, I didn't even notice! What the fuck are you going to do!?"

[Politely ask your daughter over here.]

"..."

'...Er-'

"I'm going to punch him."

'Please don't.'

"I'm going to punch his STUPID FACE OFF-"

SPLAT!

"..."
'...'
[...Is that a pi-]

'STOP GAWKIN' YA' IDJIT AND RUN BEFORE HER BRAIN TURNS BACK ON!'

[Wellsolongasit'saprincessorder-]

ZOOM!

'......'

".......huh......."

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>Twilight
"??"
~~~

>Chrysalis? Hellooo?

She had come down in a flash, an instant there and gone from Canterlot to the Empire, hurrying all the way with nothing less than a winning smile on her face.

>Chrysalis? Chrrryyyyssalis? I have something to teelllll youuuuuu...

"My Queen is, sadly, missing at the moment, I expect she is out having fun."

>GAH!

Perhaps it was magic or fear that allowed her to stick to the ceiling. Whichever one it was, the stoic helmeted changeling looked far less intimidating upside down.

>...Do you have to sneak? Really?

"I do not sneak, I merely walk very quietly. Two very different things."

>I'm a bit of a literary freak, so I disagree.

"It's true. If I was sneaking... I would be trying to kill you."

>...Charming!

"I've been working on my standup."

>Well, you're going to give Pinkie a run for her money at this rate.

"Just for that, I will try to walk louder around you."

>Awww, I see why Cadence likes you best.

"...H-RHM! What can I help you with, Princess Twilight?"

>I'm looking for Chrysalis.

"I gathered. However, she is not likely to reappear before she wishes to, and I have no idea where to find her. I was more questioning what you were looking to her for, exactly?"

>Ohhh, nothing biiiiiigggg...

She was singing, practically, as she dropped from the ceiling.

>Just little old Twili-Wily just FINISHED IT!

"...Finished what?"

>The thing!

"The thing."

>The. Thing. All done.

"... the thing?"

>The THING!

"...Oh! OHH! Oh! The thing!"

>That thing!

"Oh my... so you can-"

She nodded so fast, her head was liable to pop off her neck at any second.

>It's done! It's ready! It's... it's going to change everything.

"Oh... oh my..."

They shared it, their happiness, and their smile. They shared it together, and they both thought the exact same thing.

>"She's going to be so happy!"

The wait was going to be unbearable.

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OOCO
>Celestia
"SA"
'??'
~~
>Okay, this, right here? This is is why you're mah whitey.

"I liked this, yeah."

>Yep, nothing but a big old lake, plenty of time, and me and my whitey with no worries about someone walking in on the bathroom.

"Plenty deep too."

>Oh, Bubblehorse, so eager for me to go down already?

"Just love that look on your face, what can I say."

>Oh, you! Now, if you don't might, just put your hoof on my head right there, annnd-

'CANNNOOONNN BALLLLL!... OH WAIT CRAP CRAP CRAP-'
>GAH!

SPLAH!

"...Applejack, nice to see you here."

'OH COME ON! This here's mah spot!'

"I didn't see your name on it."

'Well, Ah' spelled it once, but it drifted off pretty quick.'

"..."
'...'
"...UGH!"

'Finally hit ya'?'

"That is so... glllgg..."

'Like that one, didja? Haw... but seriously, get outta mah' lake.'

"This isn't your lake."

'Ah' claim this lake in the name of Equestria!'

"We're already in Equestria!"

'Ah'm ahead of the game.'

"We were here first!"

'First is the worst and all that.'

"Well, then one of us is still the best, because first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest."

'...Ah' thought that was treasure chest?'

"Which do you have right now?"

'...crud got me there... can we just share?'

"Well, I guess that is the friendly thing to do..."

'Great! Get up here, dang it!

>GASP!

'Stop tryin' ta' get some white licorice and swim ya' ninny, yer' supposed to stay above the dang water!'

>...Wait, do you think I'm-

SPLASH!

"Hey!"

'Hey, ya' wanted the lake, didn't ya'? Well, TAKE IT ALL!'

SPLASHSPLASHSPLASH!

>BUBBLEHORSE NO! I'll save you!

SPLASH!

'Oh, so it's like that, is it!?'

SPLASH SPLASH!

"Nobody assaults a princess in my presence!"

'Ah' am a princess!'

"So you say."

'OH, IT IS ON NOW! Ah' do too much work fer' that shit! TAKE IT ALLLLL!'

>"BRING IT!"

SPLASH!

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>Chrysalis
"Cadence"
~~~

There was exactly one benefit to living in a hellish landscape of ice all around your shining beacon of hope in the middle of an otherwise inhospitable tundra. Exactly one upswing to the endless bitter cold and waves of solid water and ice. There was one, count it, one joy to be had in this.

>BOOM BABY!

You could blow it up as much as you want, and nobody would even notice, let alone call you on it.

"Eee hee hee!"

Cadence had never been one for wanton destruction herself, to be truthful. In fact, she rather despised it most days, so messy and loud and nobody but the one causing it looks like they're having the least bit fun, but this was infectious. The utter joy that radiated off the Queen at her side seeped into her like a plague, and flowed through her blood just as surely.

>Oh, fuck, I love this. You know how often I really got to cut loose back in the day? Fucking never. BOOM!

"Hee hee!"

She couldn't help the giggling, didn't even want to, as she herself parted the snow with a blast from her horn. She flew this way and that, shooting all about at nothing but mounds of emptiness and cold, pink pretty powers sent off without a care or regard.

"This... this IS fun!"

She hated to admit it, she really did.

But it was.

This, right now, was more fun she'd had in months... if not longer.

This was magical.

There had been worries, when this all started, fears that threatened to consume her.

But for now, just this moment, to both her and the Queen, everything was forgotten. All of it gone with a single cry.

>"BOOM!"

They never wanted it to end.

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>29
"???"
~~~

"Alone."

It thundered in his head like a bomb in his ear.

"Alone."

It rang to him to his very core, shaking the bones like they were twigs in a storm.

"Alone."

Every word a knife that carved into his skull with such precision he could not stand its pain.

"Alone."

>ENOOOOOOUGH!

He fired off, again and again in every direction. Every scrap of power he held, cast out in defense.

"Alone."

>ENNOUUUUGH!

He hit nothing, damaged nothing, did nothing but cause the world to come alight in brief flashes of green.

"They will leave you."

The images came again. Faces, not of anger or of hate, not of disgust or of malice, but...

Annoyance.

One by one, the faces he knew. Mayor Mare, Zecora, Trixie, even his little cousin, all of them, every one.

Annoyed, and leaving him.

"ALONE!"

>I SAID ENOUGH!

His power was faltering, his magic running low.

His anger, however, was in no such short supply.

>What is this supposed to teach me, what am I to learn!? Are thou really so desperate to feel better you would inflict on me something like this!? Is this what you wish, to see me suffer!? What is this supposed to teach me!? What am I to learn!?

"Nothing."

>...Nothing? NOTHING!? This did not even have a point!? Oh, that is it! I have had enough! Begone with thee! Away! Send me away, I do not wish to be thine student anymore! I do not wish to learn from thee! This has been nothing but a nightmare, and I want no more! NO MORE YOU FOUL THING! NO MORE!

Silence, haunting silence, was his only answer.

>Well, what does thee have to say for thineself, LUNA!?

~Mostly how that isn't me.~

>...Beg thine pardon?

The voice that had called to him had been much more familiar, much more as he knew and nothing like the one that had taunted him so. Much kinder.

Much more... apologetic.

~Ahem. Twenty Nine? Mistakes have... unfortunately been made.~

>Thou does not say.

~We, in our brief bit of regret, sadly let out... a thing, by accident.~

>A thing?

~A dark thing.~

>And that thing would be...

She needed not answer, it came to him all the same.

Came in the form of a mare beyond compare, frightful and massive in scale, a thousand stars in an endless night forming it's frame so powerful.

She need not answer, yet she did all the same.

~Tantabus.~

>...I'm not supposing this thing is friendly, and merely wishes to teach me life lessons?

Without warning, a single tendril of the night wrapped around his neck, and squeezed.

~It does not.~

>Ah... I see....

~...~

>...help.

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>SA
"18'
~~

...Nothing was going wrong.

Nothing bad was happening.

Nothing was exploding, no crying babies, not even a ninja. Not a single one.

>So then I said "Twili! Get that out of your mouth!" And needless to say, that was the last time we went rooting around in mom's drawer...

"Pfft, you think that's bad? I once walked in on Chrysalis's mom totally tanking an infiltration. You have not seen sadness until you see a mare's face collapse realizing that the guy she was after wasn't, shall we say, 'playing for that team'.

It was easy, it was without peril.

It was... nice.

It was so very nice...

>Pfft, know that feeling.

"Whoa HO!"

>I mean in that I once had to watch 8-bit go after a mare for three hours before he caught on. I uh... I was too shy to talk to her myself. Dodged a spear there.

It was everything she was hoping for.

It was everything she had wanted, and more.

"Speaking of dodging spears, you know I once infiltrated the yaks? Wow, those guys are assholes."

And yet...

Something was off...

Something...

>Eighteen? Kinda faded there for a sec.

"Hm? Oh, as I was saying, so it all starts when I light a candle wrong."

...Something was missing.

Her night was amazing, and fun, and everything she wanted.

But something...

Something was missing.

"And that's when the spears came!"

But no matter, she'd find it later.

After all... she had the whole night to find it.

>Hey, I know that guy!... Yeah, he can't have children anymore.

And nothing... was going wrong.

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 >Flash
"Fizzle"
~~~

>Huh... so, uh... I guess we're in good with the gryphons now? Huh... you know what, this is pretty good! We actually did pretty well! Nobody got hurt or assassinated, and now we've got actual allies now. This is... pretty good! This is great! Things are finally looking up now!

"Hey, quick question, since we didn't get a chance to sabotage them, what are the odds they're going to think we were legitimately trying to help them assassinate the prince?"

>...MOTHER FU

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OOCO
>AJ
"Pinkie"
'Chrysalis'
~~~

>So, is this just what y'all do sometimes? Make cakes?

"Well, I try to, she mostly just wrecks stuff because she can."

'I apologize for nothing. I also lick the batter, and don't apologize for that either.'

"She likes batter."

'LOVE the batter, you can always tell how much love is in it by how you churn it.'

"She churns it pretty good."

'Oh, you flatterer, we all know you are legendary at churning the batter, even a changeling couldn't compare to your skills, and we're very... adaptive.'

"I have to make up for the fact I don't have holes in my hooves for better grip."

'Or massively long tongues to clean up all the best places.'

"That tongue is pretty universal, I've found."

'Works on anything, yes.'

>...

"...Hee hee."

'Oh, her face is always priceless. She never gets-'

>What're ya' laughin' at? Far as Ah' can tell neither o' you have had anyone do the frosting for you in a long time. Always have ta' get it yer'self, dont'cha? Well... at least that tongue and those hooves are pretty skilled by now, ain't they?

"..."

'...'

>Ah'll see mah'self out.

"...Huh. So she does get it."

'My mind has just exploded.... I might never recover...'

"You win this round, AJ..."

'..blooown...'

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OOCO
>42
"2"
~~

>Two, normally you are very well behaved, and I would like to call on those times. I say this, because if you don't get down from there right now, I'll go back to pretending you are the adult you seemed to be instead of the child you actually are. Now, BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

"I can just fwoosh 'em! I ain't gotta actually brush them!"

>You cannot! We can't fwoosh off bacteria!

"...wait, can't we? Then how do we change how we smell?"

>BY...

"..."

>By...

"..."

>...huh...

"..."

>...BRUSH THEM!

"NEVAH! I won a smarty battle, I ain't gotta!"

>That isn't how this works!

"Is so!... See? Won another one!"

>... If I ever have children, I'm raising them military style.

"I'M THE SMARTEST!"

>...And then sending them to military school...

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Derpy]
{ShadowDerpys}
~~~~
>Welcome to Sort of Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content pretty much doesn't matter, and I'm not dead! Now for our main segment...Timed Muffins!

>"'[Uuuuugh]'"

'...you know I probably could have shot out the window. We didn't have to go THROUGH the door.'

"Sorry. Why are we here?"

>I had a theory. If we're in Derpy's dream, That would mean she'd want Sugar Cube Corner full of...

[MUFFINS!]

Every shelf was stocked with muffins. Piles and piles of muffins everywhere they looked. The Shadow Derpys on Pinkie and DT perk up.
{Did she say muffins?}

{I heard muffins.}

{Muffin time?}

{Muffin time!}
The shadows and Derpy start munching on muffins.

>Hey it worked.

"Your plan was to feed them?"

>Yup. It's all she ever ordered, so maybe they like them too. I'd figured it would distract them and let us regroup.

'What happens when the rest come?'

Some Shadow Derpys crash in.
{Wow look at all the muffins!}

{Oh my gosh, I love muffins!}

{Muffin Monday already?}
More and more pour in.
{Muffins!}

{Mine!}

{No, it's mine!}

{I saw this one first!}

Derpy stands in front of a large pile of muffins, growling.
[Get your own muffins!]

{You see, you have a very large assortment of muffins, and we'd appreciate it if you would share them with us. Are we not part of the same whole?}

[I'm going to put my hoof up your hole if you try to touch my muffins!]

{...we tried. FOR THE MUFFINS!}
They dogpile Derpy and a cloud of fighting is formed as more go for the same muffins.
{Mine!}
{No, Mine!}
{Mine!}
[MIIIIIIINE!]
Derpy grows larger than the ceiling can handle until she breaks through the roof.
[THESE. ARE. MY. MUFFINS! RAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!]
She shoots lasers from her eyes and melts a few shadows.
*PEW PEW PEWPEW PEW*

>"'...cool.'"

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I'm giving people an extra dose of Pink! Now for our main segment...STORYTIME: THREE LITTLE PONIES!
Applause. Luna appears in a wolf costume.

[We can't believe we're doing this.]
She walks up to a house made of clouds.
[LITTLE PONY, LITTLE PONY, THOU SHALL LET US IN!]
The force of her voice blows away the house of clouds and Cadence.

"WHAAAAAAA I DIDN'T EVEN SAY MY LIIIiiine! *ding*"

[...whoops. We will tone it down. Perhaps the next house will yield better results.]
She walks to the next house made of gingerbread and frosting.

>Life in my dreamhouse~

[Little pony, little pony, thou shall let us in!]

>Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

[Then we shall huff and we shall puff and we shall-]

>Wait, you're not going actually blow my house down are you?

[Is that not how the story went?]

>Well yeah, but-

[BLOW THY HOUSE DOWN!]
Blows the house down. Pinkie pops up from the debris.

>...you didn't have to be a bitch about it...oh hey, that doesn't have to be censored?

[We are what they call, Alpha bitch. Now assume the position to be eaten.]

>No, wait you don't have to do tha-

She moves on to the next house.
[Little pony, little pony, thou shall let-]
*BOOM*
A rocket had landed nearby leaving a crater.

'That was a warning shot!'
DT sits on top of house made of concrete and steel.
'I've 4 machine gun turrets, 2 sentry guns, 2 sniper nests, an Apache helicopter, a concussion missile tower, and 500 missiles. I dare you to blow this house down.'

[...that seems excessive...this is not how the story goes.]

'In my version, I fill the wolf with lead.'
*DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA FWOOSH BOOM*

[Leaving leaving leaving!]

'Moral of the story is don't build cheap houses, and be the bigger bitch against the other bitch.'

>This extra story was sponsored by Sweetie Drop's Bon bons. Bond over a bon.

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