actually i should start from the beginning
hahah
because i want your opinion on it all
u got time?
haha?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
always
ko
so..
let's start from the beginning
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
i like the haha?
haha
ok
so i didn't start talking to this person
who worked on my staff
for like more than 6-7 months
till about january
didn't even speak a word to her
prior to then
first time i talked to her it was in a group chat
with other pw staff
it was like a "girl's night"
but they invited me
i was a 'honorary girl'
hahah
anyways
it's like a get together where they talk abuot
their issues and help each other out
and obviously since it's mostly girls
they were talking about guy issues
but my issue was allison so
i talked about that
kinda like a "light therapy" session
anywyas..
so that was the first time i talked to her
at that point
her life didn't come crashing down yet
so i told u she studies
psychology
and stuff right?
well yeah she kinda helped me see some perspectives and whatnot... through  that. and i was grateful for that.
so fast forward a day or so
she tells the headstaff she
got evicted
because of this crazy situation
ok so
"that situation"
1. it was her, her mom, and her mom's friend (not family) that was living in the house
2. apparently the friend was stealing money and like doing a shit ton of identity theft shit for like a few years
3. it all finally caught up to her and then
they all got evicted
4. they took the whole thing to court
her and her mom are vindicated but
obviously
it's been like years of fraud
and shit
the friend like impersonated them
messed with their accounts
even messed with her mom and her schooling funds
and stole like everything
so right now she and her mom are picking up those pieces
on top of that... she didn't have a great relation ship with her mom
her mom is apparently very.... emotionally manipulative... and also
financially very irresponsibile
anyways... there is more to that
she also went thru abuse as a child
when she was young
not due to mom but other things that happened
i won't get into details here
so in general her family life is kinda f'd
she flourishes when she goes out on her own
which she is a only child
so she does a lot
she is very independent
and works mostly alone
and flourishes alone
so
her story is
she hada rough childhood
denying all the abuse stuff
then finally as she grew up
finally accepted and confronted it
came to terms with it
changed who she was and how she saw things
she used to be super hateful
to everyone
and then bottling up all the emotion
and then
it made it worse
it made her a bit depressed
and all that
and esp staying at home
made her feel that way
because
all that stuff happened there
she started playing minecraft because of it
found pw
loved it
stayed
she took a haitus to go to singapore
and lived there for like 4 months
studying
and doing like research abroad at hte schools there
really liked it
but super depressed when she had to come home
came home
this identity theft stuff happens
she can't ever go back (for now)
to singapore
was in a dark place
i hellped her
by talking to her as friend
she actually
came to me
because she knew i was older so
she wanted to turn to someone that might be more mature and understanding
to tell about her situation
i helped her
she helped me with mine
we talked more
and more
in fact everyday
we start skyping a lot
started to skype before we fell asleeo
next , met in person
see how that went
went well
compatible
oh one interesting thing
we actually have 'argued'
already
about some things
and one thing i like about her
she isn't afraid of it
like
she doesn't like it
yes
but
she wants to learn from it
and use it to learn opposed to
like being chicken shit about it
make snese.
?
anyways
met up
in person
got to see how her living habits are
and how she is in person
1. she is mature she takes care of like IRL things well
2. she is fast
like moves fast.. does things fast.. opposite of allison
more like my mom hahahah
3. she does have a bit of naiveness to her
but i think it's her age
she can be a total bitch when she is mad
hahahhaa
and she admits it
and i've seen it
hahaha
most importantly
ive been keeping on thing in mind
ever since you told me
the whole "rocket metaphor"
"enough fuel to keep up"
so far i see that fuel.... i'm wary to see how long it lasts
but it's been there so far
i know it's super early
so that's why
i'm a bit like o_O O_o
about the situation
now here is the kicker
she hates living where she is
she wants to move ot another school
and work off her debt
because of the "incident"
she feels like staying in seattle
is like a trap
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
stuck in the past.
unable to move forward
yeah
so
she is trying to get out of t here
so i 'offered' to house her as she goes to school in california... NOW
i know
'trap'
i know
but i told her
i won't be paying for her in anything
other than just housing her
her food, her
etc
etc
all on her
and she agrees
now... am i being a total idiot?
this wouldn't happen btw
till allison stuff is over
just fyi
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
haha
ok 1.
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
you put yourself in a tricky situation
yes
i knwo
1. tho
i know that
i don't want another allison
i know i put myself in a tricky situation
where it's another potential
but does that mean it will be?
idk
what you think
now i haven't told anyone
but i told her
i was gonna tell u
because
i trust you the most
out of all my friends
☺
and she knows i'm telling u now
i told her i wanted a 2nd opinion
and she understood
she also said
"at anytime if u don't feel like this is right .. tell me i'm figure out another solution"
so she isn't pressuring me
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
ok, there are 2 big topics here. one is the house situation youre now in. the other is her/you/connection
ok
explain?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
the housing thing i complicated.
and she has nothing to do with it
oh you man
mean
her own house
the identity theft
thing?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
no the her living at your place
oh ko
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
it doesnt matter who she is/ how cool she is... there are certain .. precautions. to take
on one hand... its actually good in that you get to see what shes like "all the time" best/worse/problems/day to day
which is HUGE
when getting to know someone
yeah
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
but there are giant issues that could kill it... as you know youre kind of a control freak/ bit selfish.
so there is a danger that you use this situation to make her feel awkward
in that even though non intentionally... she "owes" you something
or she should "contribute"
if you go through with this... id recommend make this very nonchalant / not a big deal. because it could get awkward fast
ok
explain
nonchalant
give me example?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
ok..extreme example.
little elementary school kid talks to girl... he's blushing/ mumbling/ super embarrassed...
so much so
she feels the same
awkward
and nothing good will come of it
opposed to.
casual
hey
!!!
talk, sure no problem
zero expectations
not awkward
it's only a big deal, if you make it a big deal
and the bigger the deal you make it... the more unnatural it will feel
that make any sense?
yeah
well yeah
i get it
ok what else
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
housing wise. that's it. be casual. set the rules first/ 100% honesty which doesnt sound like an issue
treat her like a roommate
give her responsibilities
that actually is kinda big
dont help her too much
but didn't you say
don't expect too much
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
thats one lesson the allison thing probably taught you... you dont want to do all the work for someone
but responsibilities?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
yeah. like a roommate
if you had a roommate
hrm
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
would you do shit for them?
haha
no, youd make them
but it would be fair
true, so basically you are saying like she use a dish, wash a dish?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
yeah
ok
what else
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
like a roommate
i think the casual is the biggest
also plan.
how long is she staying?
where is she going to school
part time job?
car?
commute?
yeah we are working that out before she comes down
that's important
to her too
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
but that all just 2 people living together.
ok
what else?
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
as far as you and her go. fuck it man. normal is an illusion.
as long as she has a plan
and youre not a sugar daddy
as long as you think of it as a friend staying on your couch when theyre down/ getting it together.
i see no problem with this
sugar... daddy?
wtf is that?
rofl
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
HAHA
sugar daddy is a guy who takes care of a chick financially
oooh ok
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
throws $$ at her
right right
no i don't want that
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
give her everything she wants
etc
that's the whole allison thing again
ok thanks for clearing that up
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
yeah, learn from that. dont fall into it
yep
ok thanks man
i appreciate your perspective
Jarrod Hale (jhale1445@yahoo.com, jhale4514@gmail.com)
hah, i dont think i helped at all. but, anytime
Jarrod Hale
you have
and thanks
Now