Evilsteady 2 Session 20

[19:32] <!Emilybroshoujo> You all awaken early in the morning.
[19:32] <!Emilybroshoujo> Malakai has slight first degree burns from where he was snuggled tenderly against his will.
[19:33] <!Emilybroshoujo> Black Dragons prefer the night, and THEY can see in the dark, unlike most of you.
[19:33] <!Emilybroshoujo> So you need to strike during the day.
[19:34] <!Emilybroshoujo> The old mans directions to the Dragon's Lair are faily clear, it's an underwater structure, likely an old temple of some kind in the lake at the heart of the swamp.
[19:34] <!Emilybroshoujo> The dragon has most likely found a dry spot to store all his fat lootz.
[19:35] <!Emilybroshoujo> According to the old man Black Dragons are a cross between overgrown crocodiles and demons.
[19:36] <!Emilybroshoujo> They're sometimes called skull dragons because of the shape of their head and their sunken eyes.
[19:36] <!Emilybroshoujo> So spotting it should not be hard when you find it.
[19:36] <!Emilybroshoujo> It's also rather large....
[19:37] <Sazir> "Hmm, to think such a grand dragon could be trapped in the cage of life. I guess it's up to us to free it and give it beautiful death."
[19:37] <@Malakai> "Let's find this thing and end it."
[19:38] <Vripe> "Zzzzzzzzzzz."
[19:39]  * Malakai kicks the sleeping rogue in the kidney. "Wake up Vripe, it's time to work."
[19:39] <Vripe> "I am awake, that was my honest opinion!"
[19:40]  * Vripe begins to cry
[19:40] <Belor> "Yes, let us finish this quick.....why a dragon would like a swamp is beyond me."
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> You all load up the cart and continue your trek toward the lake.
[19:41] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 1d20
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=11 ]{11}
[19:41] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 1d20
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=5 ]{5}
[19:41] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 1d20
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=18 ]{18}
[19:41] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 1d6
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 1d6 --> [ 1d6=1 ]{1}
[19:41] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 1d6
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 1d6 --> [ 1d6=5 ]{5}
[19:41] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 1d6
[19:41] <!Emilybroshoujo> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 1d6 --> [ 1d6=4 ]{4}
[19:42] <!Emilybroshoujo> You arrive at the lake without incident.
[19:42] <!Emilybroshoujo> At the center of the dank murky water a stone structure is visible.
[19:42] <Sazir> "Perhaps they just like the stench of it all my dear friend."
[19:43] <!Emilybroshoujo> Tilted, as if sinking into the mud, the structure stands partially submerged.
[19:43] <!Emilybroshoujo> The water is fetid and stagnant, and the scent of rotting flesh fills the air.
[19:44] <!Emilybroshoujo> What is your course of action?
[19:44] <Vripe> "Seems like a friendly place."
[19:44] <Sazir> "Well then, the one with the salamander lover should head first shouldn't he?"
[19:44]  * Belor just shakes his head "Maybe old friend, but at least we made it here without breaking another cart" (Scout the surroundings?)
[19:44] <@Malakai> "...Alright, I'll head in first."
[19:45] <!Andria_> "I'LL GO TOO!"
[19:45]  * Andria_ raises her hand excitedly.
[19:45] <@Malakai> "Fine by me, don't get in my way."
[19:45]  * Sazir nudges Belor. "Should we see what else there is to this place while the heretic does what he does?"
[19:45] <!Andria_> Actually there's an issue.
[19:46] <!Andria_> You can't find an entrance.
[19:46] <@Malakai> "Sazir, Belor, be careful, I don't like this. Can't find a way in. Look around, but be alert."
[19:46] <@Malakai> "Vripe, can you help me look around? You're wirey, you can find ways into places."
[19:46] <!Andria_> Everyone make search and spot checks.
[19:46] <!Andria_> One of each.
[19:46]  * Belor sighs "I guess that would be just too easy"
[19:47] <Sazir> roll 1d20+4 Spot
[19:47] <!Andria_> Sazir rolled : 1d20+4 Spot --> [ 1d20=18 ]{22}
[19:47] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+3 search
[19:47] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+3 search --> [ 1d20=11 ]{14}
[19:47] <Sazir> roll 1d20+4 search
[19:47] <!Andria_> Sazir rolled : 1d20+4 search --> [ 1d20=19 ]{23}
[19:47]  * Sazir is the king of searching
[19:47] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+2 spot
[19:47] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+2 spot --> [ 1d20=2 ]{4}
[19:47] <!Andria_> No matter.
[19:47] <Vripe> okay, let's see
[19:47] <!Andria_> Sazir already got it.
[19:47] <Belor> Roll 1d20+4 search
[19:47] <!Andria_> Belor rolled : 1d20+4 search --> [ 1d20=16 ]{20}
[19:47] <Sazir> Oh wait, that was supposed to be a +6
[19:47] <Vripe> okay
[19:47] <Sazir> So that'd be 25 to my search check
[19:47] <Belor> Ah okay
[19:47] <!Andria_> Sazir, you notice three things.
[19:48] <!Andria_> One, there is no external entrance, meaning the temple is likely only accessible from under the water and the air.
[19:48] <!Andria_> There is an opening in it's slightly tilted roof.
[19:48] <!Andria_> Two, there are tracks leading into and out of the water.
[19:48] <!Andria_> Some humanoid, other more...... snake-like.
[19:49] <!Andria_> Three, there are corpses under the water.
[19:49] <!Andria_> Lots of them.
[19:49] <!Andria_> At least three dozen visible from the shore upon close inspection.
[19:50] <Sazir> "Hmm hmm, how interesting. It seems my good chap there's two entrances to this place, from above...or below. And look! So many lovelies! Oh oh! Maybe I should raise them all so they can enjoy their death to the fullest!"
[19:51] <Belor> "Oh? Shall I scout out the top entrance old friend?"
[19:51] <Sazir> "Think you can make the climb? Or should we ask the friendly rogue to practice his art for us?"
[19:52] <@Malakai> "Let Vripe do it."
[19:53] <Belor> "Climb? Ha! I have learned a few tricks to deal with climbing!"
[19:53] <Sazir> "Then perhaps you should save them should we need it when we fight that poor dragon."
[19:54] <Vripe> okay, how do I get up there
[19:54] <Belor> "....maybe you are right...." He turns toward Vripe "Well what are you waiting for? Get to climbing!"
[19:55] <!Andria_> Make a climb check.
[19:55] <!Andria_> It's not a hard one.
[19:55] <Vripe> 20+1?
[19:55] <!Andria_> Lots of shit to grab.
[19:55] <!Andria_> Yeah
[19:55] <Vripe> roll 1d20+1
[19:55] <!Andria_> Vripe rolled : 1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=1 ]{2}
[19:55] <Vripe> WHEEEEEEE
[19:55] <Sazir> ..
[19:55] <Sazir> LEAVE IT TO ANTS
[19:55] <Vripe> am I in the earth's core?
[19:55] <!Andria_> roll 10d6
[19:56] <@Malakai> (real)
[19:56] <!Andria_> You get to the top and slip on some algea.
[19:56] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 10d6
[19:56] <!Andria_> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 10d6 --> [ 10d6=38 ]{38}
[19:56] <!Andria_> 38 damage.
[19:56] <@Malakai> (Jeebus)
[19:56] <Vripe> that's some slip
[19:56] <@Malakai> "Alright, let me try, I can handle this"
[19:57] <!Andria_> Well you fell down the side of the temple, hitting everything on the way down.
[19:57] <!Andria_> You bounced.
[19:57]  * Malakai walks up the side of the structure
[19:57]  * Malakai turns back for a second. "You okay Vripe?"
[19:58]  * Andria_ glares at Vripe.
[19:58] <!Andria_> "Yes.... are you okay?..."
[19:58] <@Malakai> "Stop that."
[19:58] <Vripe> "Watch that last step, it's a doozy."
[19:58]  * Sazir pats Vripe in the back. "There there friendly rogue. Should you die I'll just bring you back as a lovely little girl."
[19:58] <@Imouto> That's hot.
[19:59] <Vripe> "I'll make sure to live forever."
[19:59] <@Malakai> "Ok, my turn..."
[19:59] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+19 climb
[19:59] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+19 climb --> [ 1d20=1 ]{20}
[20:00] <@Malakai> (lmao)
[20:00] <Sazir> BWHAHAHAHa
[20:00] <!Andria_> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[20:00] <@Malakai> I can't breathe
[20:00] <@Malakai> I can't fucking breathe
[20:00] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 10d6
[20:00] <!Andria_> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 10d6 --> [ 10d6=30 ]{30}
[20:00] <!Andria_> HE WARNED YOU ABOUT THAT STEP MAN
[20:00] <!Andria_> HE TOLD YOU DAWG
[20:00] <!Andria_> That's falling damage.
[20:00] <Sazir> YOU DIDN'T LISTEN
[20:00] <Sazir> YOU DIDN'T
[20:00] <Sazir> FUCKING
[20:00] <!Andria_> It's actual damage not subdual.
[20:00] <Sazir> LISTEN
[20:01]  * Malakai angrily gets back up after falling off the cliff and jumps back at the side of the structure
[20:01] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+19 climb
[20:01] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+19 climb --> [ 1d20=20 ]{39}
[20:01] <@Malakai> (HOLY)
[20:01] <!Andria_> You ran up it that time.
[20:01] <Vripe> is he in the stratosphere?
[20:01] <Acidbreath-chan> FUCK YOU WALL
[20:01] <Acidbreath-chan> FUCK YOU GRAVITY
[20:01] <Sazir> "I think we should note this my old chap, should the heretic fail at something, lets just hit him on the head."
[20:02] <Acidbreath-chan> YOU AINT THE BOSS OF ME
[20:02] <Acidbreath-chan> I'M NOT PART OF YOUR SYSTEM
[20:03]  * Andria_ cheers!
[20:12] <!Andria_> From atop the ruins you can see over the swamp.
[20:12] <!Andria_> Theis building, before it began sinking, must have stood over the canopy.
[20:13] <!Andria_> A hold in the cieling seems to lead down into darkness.
[20:13] <!Andria_> hole*
[20:14] <@Malakai> "There's a hole up here, leads down inside. Do we have any rope or anything, so I can toss it down for you guys?"
[20:14] <!Andria_> Make a reflex save.
[20:15] <Vripe> both of us?
[20:15] <!Andria_> No, you're on the ground.
[20:15] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+7 Reflex
[20:15] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+7 Reflex --> [ 1d20=2 ]{9}
[20:15] <!Andria_> roll 12d4
[20:16] <Acidbreath-chan> roll 12d4
[20:16] <!Andria_> Acidbreath-chan rolled : 12d4 --> [ 12d4=28 ]{28}
[20:16] <Acidbreath-chan> You take 28 acid damage as a jet of caustic fluids sprays from the darkness below in response to your shout.
[20:16] <Sazir> "So the entrance underwater then."
[20:16] <@Malakai> "OW FUCK"
[20:17] <!Andria_> Balance check.
[20:17] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+4
[20:17] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+4 --> [ 1d20=13 ]{17}
[20:17]  * Belor| pats Sazir on the shoulder " I am glad you convinced me not to go up there"
[20:17] <!Andria_> Okay, you manage to steady yourself on the edge.
[20:17]  * Andria_ runs around below ready to catch her husbando.
[20:18] == Acidbreath-chan has changed nick to Pissed_Off_Dragon
[20:18] <Vripe> oh shi
[20:18] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> "AWAY WITH YOU VERMIN!" You hear in a bellowing roar from within the ruins.
[20:18] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> roll 1d20+8
[20:18] <!Andria_> Pissed_Off_Dragon rolled : 1d20+8 --> [ 1d20=3 ]{11}
[20:19] <Sazir> "Of course old friend, I wouldn't let you do something so reckless. Ah that reminds me."
[20:19] <Sazir> Question Emmy
[20:19] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> That was an attack roll aimed at Sazir, he's flat footed, did it hit?
[20:19] <Sazir> How many of the corpses can I raise?
[20:19] <Sazir> And nope
[20:19] <Sazir> 14 flat yo!
[20:20] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> A bolt of flies from the waters edge misses you narrowly.
[20:20] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> >of
[20:20] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> Just a bolt.
[20:20] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> From like a crossbow.
[20:20] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> Also what level are you?
[20:20]  * Sazir looks at where the bolt is and where it came from. "My, my, seems the dragon has some lovelies of his own."
[20:20] <Sazir> 10
[20:20] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> Then 20 zombies or 10 skeletons.
[20:20] <Sazir> I WILL RAISE!
[20:20] <Sazir> 10 Skeletons
[20:21] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> Also spot checks all around.
[20:21] <Sazir> 1d20+4
[20:21] <Sazir> roll 1d20+4
[20:21] <!Andria_> Sazir rolled : 1d20+4 --> [ 1d20=7 ]{11}
[20:21] <Belor|> Roll 1d20+5
[20:21] <!Andria_> Belor| rolled : 1d20+5 --> [ 1d20=4 ]{9}
[20:21] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> You too ANTS.
[20:21] <Vripe> roll 1d20+17
[20:21] <!Andria_> Vripe rolled : 1d20+17 --> [ 1d20=14 ]{31}
[20:22] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> roll 1d20-1
[20:22] <!Andria_> Pissed_Off_Dragon rolled : 1d20-1 --> [ 1d20=19 ]{18}
[20:22] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+2
[20:22] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=3 ]{5}
[20:22] <Vripe> thank god two of us aren't blind
[20:22] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> ANTS you see half a dozen lizardmen beneath the waters surface.
[20:22] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> 5 male and a female.
[20:22] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> All about 6 feet tall.
[20:23] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> One of them has purple eyes.
[20:23] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> They appear aged 18-24 by human standards.
[20:23] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> (This is what you get for rolling so high)
[20:23] <Sazir> "Ho ho, never had one of them either. Lets kill them all and raise the female!"
[20:24] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> Okay, now in accordance with Sazir's previous decision....
[20:24] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> 10 of the human skeletons within the water animate and grab onto the lizardmen catching them unaware as they are pulled down and mercilessly ripped limb from limb as they scream in agony.
[20:25] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> The bones of the skeletons are died green from their murky submersion.
[20:25] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> Moments later they emerge slowly draggin the 5 mangled corpses of the men and the one intact corpse of the woman, she was merely choked to death.
[20:26] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> (Jesus Christ How Horrifying.gif)
[20:26] <Vripe> "See, told you this place looked friendly."
[20:26]  * Sazir pats all 10 skeletons on the head. "Good lovelies, if you all survive this, I'll give each and every one of you the love you deserve."
[20:26] <Vripe> "Haven't even entered yet and we're all half melted."
[20:26] <Pissed_Off_Dragon> This whole time I imagine Sazir waving his hands like a conductor while cheesy classical music playing in his head in time with the screams of agony.
[20:27] <Sazir> Sounds about right
[20:28]  * Andria_ finds a tree and vomits at the sight of the undead and mangled corpses.
[20:28] <!Andria_> I assume you're going to ressurect the Lizardwoman as another special undead?
[20:28] <Sazir> Yus
[20:28] <!Andria_> If so you should cast gentle repose on her.
[20:28] <Sazir> I will!
[20:29] <!Andria_> Well add that to your treasure.
[20:29]  * Sazir casts Gentle repose on the lizardwoman corpse. "Well I'll have some fun with you later~"
[20:29] <!Andria_> Adult Female Lizardwoman Corpse (120g)
[20:29] <!Andria_> Yeah.... you could actually sell it for that....
[20:29]  * Malakai pats Andria on the back. "Sazir is special like that, if you hang around, you'll get used to it...eventually..."
[20:30] <Belor|> "Hmmm....might she know the entrance old friend?"
[20:30] <!Andria_> This is the non-monstergirl kind of lizardwoman by the way, the anthropomorphic kind not that Sazir cares,'
[20:30] <Sazir> "Well then friends and lovelies. Lets heads down to meet this dragon shall we?" He says as he walks with the rest of the skeletons down to the entrance below, humming a happy tune.
[20:30] <Sazir> And nope!
[20:31] <!Andria_> 400 xp for that "engagement"
[20:31] <!Andria_> Each
[20:31] <!Andria_> ADD IT TO YOUR SHEETS LAZY ASSES
[20:31] <!Andria_> >:[
[20:31] <Sazir> Already did
[20:32] <Vripe> man, over these sessions, I've earned XP for giving knife boots to kids, for taking a crap, and for slipping and falling
[20:35] <!Andria_> You all tredge your way through the stinking putrid water until you reach the underwater entrance of the temple.
[20:35] <!Andria_> A flight of stairs eventually leads you out of the water and opens into a grand hall.
[20:35] <!Andria_> On the walls are carvings worshipping some sort of snake god.
[20:36] <!Andria_> The ruins are likely a relic of the lizardmens ancestors.
[20:36] <!Andria_> Perhaps the dragon has convinced them he is their god incarnate.
[20:36] <!Andria_> It seems like somthing a dragon would do.
[20:37] <!Andria_> Rose is waiting outside to protect her new sister-to-be.
[20:37] <!Andria_> And so her hax train doesn't derail all over this fight.
[20:37] <!Andria_> I love plot devices.
[20:38] <Belor|> Can I look over the carvings to see if I can tell what they are worshiping?
[20:38] <Belor|> (Mastermind Emily)
[20:38] <!Andria_> Make a knowledge religion check.
[20:38] <Belor|> Roll 1d20+16
[20:38] <!Andria_> Belor| rolled : 1d20+16 --> [ 1d20=19 ]{35}
[20:39] <!Andria_> The carvings are not of a god but a demon.
[20:39] <!Andria_> Vespethak, The Hate Drinker.
[20:39] <!Andria_> He's a greater Abyssal Lord who rules the 143rd layer of the Abyss, known as the Venom Pools.
[20:40] <!Andria_> There are very few of his followers on the prime material plane, they exist almost exclusively among the lamia and yuan-ti races.
[20:40] <Vripe> related to the Hex Drinker?
[20:41] <!Andria_> He takes the form of a giant 8-headed snake with humanoid arms ending in long claws and dragon-like wings.
[20:41] <!Andria_> No.
[20:41] <!Andria_> He's called the Hate Drinker, because he has a method for bottling and storing hatred in liquid form.
[20:41] <!Andria_> He sells it to other demons.
[20:41] <!Andria_> Apparently your rage is delicious.
[20:42] <Sazir> "Old friend, perhaps we should bottle up the heretic's anger and give it to our lord?"
[20:42] <!Andria_> That's all Brutus knows... which admittedly is considerably more than the lizardmen who desecrate this unholy temple by using it to idolize an overgrown reptile.
[20:42] <!Andria_> Belor is angry now.
[20:44] <!Andria_> A pair of staircases lead upwards.
[20:44] <Belor|> "Such a disgrace......these stupid creatures don't even relies how holy this place is..."
[20:44] <!Andria_> There is also one that leads downward without being filled with water, likely a water tight dungeon of some kind.
[20:45] <!Andria_> You know the dragon is above you, because you can't see the cieling from here.
[20:45] <!Andria_> Or the hole in the cieling rather.
[20:45] <!Andria_> You know what I meant.
[20:46] <Sazir> "Hm, lets head down first, maybe the stupid creatures hid something away of great importance there. Then we'll deal with the dragon."
[20:47] <Belor|> "If we are lucky I'll find more of the creatures to burn alive...."
[20:47] <@Malakai> "Let's get moving, I've got a dragon to turn into art."\
[20:48] <!Andria_> Down first it is.
[20:48]  * Andria_ clings closely to Malakai as you all travel down into the darkness.
[20:49] <@Malakai> "Unless you can heal me, you should probably step away from me. I'm liable to murder something right now."
[20:49] <!Andria_> You arrive at the bottom, the first thing you notice is a sacrificial alter.
[20:49] <!Andria_> This was a ritual chamber.
[20:49] <!Andria_> On the far side of the room is a closed stone door that would take great strength to open.
[20:49] <!Andria_> The walls of this room are engraved in Abyssal.
[20:50] <!Andria_> The alter is shaped like an open snakes mouth.
[20:50] <!Andria_> It's tongue serving as the sacrificial table where the victem was bound as their stomach was cut open and they were allowed to bleed to death.
[20:51]  * Sazir goes to read the engravements on the wall (HUZZAH FOR KNOWING ABYSSAL)
[20:51] <!Andria_> It's mostly just rantings about the glory of the hate drinker.
[20:51] <!Andria_> You do gain something from it though.
[20:52] <!Andria_> Sazir can now cast the 3rd level spell [Twin Fangs]
[20:52]  * Belor| stands before the alter and runs a hand across the surface ".....I wonder when the last time you were fed....."
[20:52] <!Andria_> It's a ranged touch attack that deals 3d6 acid damage and poisons the target paralyzing them if they fail a fortitude save.
[20:53] <Sazir> Hoho
[20:53] <!Andria_> If they fail a second save a minute later they lose 2d6 points of dexterity that slowly recovers at the rate of 1 point per day.
[20:54] <!Andria_> BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
[20:54] <!Andria_> Sazir, Belor, and Vripe can now all speak Snake-tongue.
[20:54] <!Andria_> You can commune with any reptilian creature with an intelligence of 3 or higher.
[20:54] <Vripe> PAAAAAAAAARSELTONGUE
[20:55] <Sazir> "Hmm, shame that this dragon is immune to poison. Perhaps I'll use this nice little suprise on the next one~."
[20:55] <Sazir> "Say friendly heretic, have you tried opening the door yet?"
[20:55] <!Andria_> Belor, you have gained an ability as well.
[20:55] <!Andria_> "Brew Hate Drink"
[20:55] <!Andria_> Add it to your feats.
[20:56] <Belor|> Added~
[20:56] <!Andria_> It allows you to bottle liquid hatred that you magically extract in a very painful process taking 10 rounds and dealing 2d6 subdual damage to the target per round.
[20:56] <!Andria_> They must be alive and incapacitated to do this.
[20:56] <!Andria_> It counts as torture.
[20:56] <@Malakai> "No, I have not Sazir. Should I?"
[20:57] <Sazir> "As you should, who knows what other nice suprises we might find in there."
[20:58]  * Belor| smiles to himself "I might feed you again if I find someones...." He walks toward Sazir while chucking to himself
[20:58] <@Malakai> "Alright then, I'll open it."
[20:59] <!Andria_> Strength check.
[20:59] <!Andria_> DC 30
[20:59] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+6
[20:59] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+6 --> [ 1d20=6 ]{12}
[20:59] <!Andria_> Nope.
[20:59] <Sazir> >DC 30
[20:59] <!Andria_> Won't even budge.
[20:59] <Sazir> DAAAAAAAAAMN
[20:59] <!Andria_> What about rage?
[21:00] <@Malakai> hmm...
[21:00] <Sazir> RAGE ON MAN
[21:00] <Sazir> RAGE
[21:00] <Sazir> ON
[21:00] <@Malakai> I can try
[21:01]  * Malakai grits his teeth and begins hitting his chest like a wild man, then attempts to open the door again
[21:01] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+9
[21:01] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+9 --> [ 1d20=8 ]{17}
[21:01] <@Malakai> Nope
[21:01] <Sazir> (Boo)
[21:01] <Sazir> COMON CALI
[21:01] <Belor|> (Boo)
[21:01] <Sazir> YOU ONLY NEED A NAT 20!
[21:01] <@Malakai> lol
[21:01]  * Andria_ grabs the door and attempts to help.
[21:01] <!Andria_> roll again.
[21:01] <!Andria_> Add.....
[21:02] <!Andria_> +8
[21:02] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+17
[21:02] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+17 --> [ 1d20=4 ]{21}
[21:02] <@Malakai> Now that was just bad luck
[21:02] <Sazir> Yawp
[21:02] <!Andria_> It's jammed tightly.
[21:02] <Sazir> "...Think we should go help them?"
[21:02] <!Andria_> Like an orcs dick in a halfling.
[21:02] <Sazir> "Ah wait wait, I know. Lovelies! Go help the poor weak heretic!"
[21:03] <Sazir> ALL 10 SKELETONS WILL HELP MALAKI OPEN THIS DOOR
[21:03] <Sazir> WE WILL DO THIS
[21:03] <!Andria_> Do it again, another +10
[21:03] <Sazir> ONE WAY
[21:03] <Sazir> OR ANOTHER
[21:03] <@Malakai> roll 1d20+27
[21:03] <!Andria_> Malakai rolled : 1d20+27 --> [ 1d20=11 ]{38}
[21:04] <!Andria_> Okay, the door finally rolls open.
[21:04] <Sazir> "Never underestimate the power of the dead heretic."
[21:05] <@Malakai> "I never do my companion."
[21:05] <!Andria_> The room is full of bones.
[21:05] <!Andria_> Mostly belonging to dead yuan-ti and lamia.
[21:06] <!Andria_> On the far side of the room, chained to the wall is the only thing in the chamber with flesh still on it.
[21:06] <!Andria_> A snake from the waist down, with a female human body from the waist up.
[21:06] <!Andria_> Her messy green hair hangs down over her face.
[21:06] <!Andria_> You're not sure if she's alive or dead.
[21:06] <Sazir> "Hmm~ Hmm~ Oh decisions, should I let some of these lovelies to go so I can have other lovelies? Oh what to do~ What to do? Hm? Hmm are you alive my dear?"
[21:07] <!Andria_> The lamia looks up weakly from her bound state.
[21:07] <Sazir> "Ah wait, perhaps." He coughs and starts speaking in his snake-tongue. "Do you understand me now?"
[21:08] <!Andria_> "Humans...." The girl says in snake-tongue.
[21:08] <!Andria_> "Why are you here?...."
[21:08] <Sazir> "Why to kill a god according to those lizardmen, others would say to kill a dragon."
[21:09] <Belor|> "To kill a dragon....and sanctify this holy place"
[21:09] <!Andria_> "It is no god.... the creature stole the temple away from me..."
[21:10] <!Andria_> The lamia woman looks up, her deep orange eyes with distinctly reptilian features shine with a deep anger.
[21:11] <!Andria_> If you seek to kill the beast, free me and I will offer my aid.
[21:11] <Sazir> "From you? ..Ah you must be this temple's guardian. Well don't worry my dear, we will give this temple back to you so you can do your sacrifices in peace. Friendly rogue, can you let her out of these bonds?"
[21:11] <!Andria_> ""*
[21:11]  * Belor| walks closer but keeps at least ten feet away from her "One question: Do you serve the great  Hex Drinker?"
[21:12] == Andria_ has changed nick to Lamia_woman
[21:14] <Belor|> Hate*
[21:14] <Belor|> (Dammit ANTS!)
[21:14] <Sazir> ((DAMN IT ANTS)
[21:14] <Sazir> (GET OVER HERE AND FREE THIS LAMIA WHO SAZIR MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT HAVE SEX WITH LATER)
[21:14]  * Lamia_woman looks up to Belor with wild eyes. "I serve only slaughter, I merely have the genetic predisposition to be drawn to Vespethak and use his power as a means to that end."
[21:14] <Vripe> I'm trying to figure out which thing to roll
[21:15] <Sazir> ...You could ask
[21:15] <!Lamia_woman> Her expression is one filled with defiance and a deep insanity, in sharp contrast to her frail starving frame.
[21:15] <!Lamia_woman> Her ribs are visible and her arms are thin, she likely hasn't eaten sinc ethe dragon moved in months ago.
[21:15] <!Lamia_woman> Sustained only by her anger and the demonic power oozing out of every fiber of her being.
[21:15]  * Sazir holds the Lamia's head and looks at her crazed eyes with his own. "Slaughter? Slaughter you said? Hmm to think we'd find a companion in these parts. Hmm if you were dead I'd show you how excited I am right now."
[21:16] <!Lamia_woman> Belor dick you crack diamonds.
[21:16] <!Lamia_woman> Belor's*
[21:16] <!Lamia_woman> copuld*
[21:16] <!Lamia_woman> could*
[21:16] <!Lamia_woman> I'm tired...
[21:16] <Sazir> It's fine Emmy
[21:16] <Sazir> WE GOT IT
[21:16] <Vripe> Let's hope mine can crack chains
[21:17] <!Lamia_woman> Belor dick, you crack diamonds.
[21:17]  * Lamia_woman jojo poses.
[21:17] <Vripe> what do I roll to break her free with my dick
[21:17] <!Lamia_woman> Roll open locks you tard.
[21:17] <Vripe> oh, I see
[21:17] <Belor|> "Slaughter?...." He does what seems to be a silent prayer "You are indeed perfect then mylady." He snaps his head around to Vripe "Get her unchained quickly"
[21:17] <Vripe> roll 1d20+18
[21:17] <!Lamia_woman> Vripe rolled : 1d20+18 --> [ 1d20=20 ]{38}
[21:17] <Sazir> WELP
[21:18] <Vripe> WITH MY DICK
[21:18] <Vripe> MIND YOU
[21:18] <@Malakai> You also open the lock to her vagina
[21:18] <@Malakai> she's wet as fuck
[21:18] <!Lamia_woman> Vripe ACTUALLY picks the lock with his penis.
[21:18] <Sazir> And then all three fuck the lamia
[21:18] <!Lamia_woman> No joke.
[21:18] <@Malakai> wat
[21:18] <Belor|> Wat.
[21:18] <!Lamia_woman> He stuck it in and broke the lock.
[21:18] <!Lamia_woman> Like Quagmire in that episode of Family Guy.
[21:18] <Sazir> "..Hmm to think you could use that part in such a way...well I suppose that's why you're our friendly rogue."
[21:19] <!Lamia_woman> Vripe has a swiss army penis.
[21:19] <Vripe> "Just wait till you see the corkscrew"
[21:19] <!Lamia_woman> FYI, she's scary as fuck.
[21:19] <@Malakai> (brb)
[21:19] <!Lamia_woman> Even Malakai gets chills from direct eye contact.
[21:19] <Sazir> "Hmm, I'm oddly curious...ah would you need something to fight against the dragon my dear or would claws and fangs suffice?"
[21:20] <Vripe> FACE AWAY, SHE'S ULTING
[21:20] <!Lamia_woman> She's sociopathic, schizophrenic, and a higher level than any of you.
[21:20] <Sazir> Alright Belor
[21:20] <Belor|> No wonder I have a hard on.
[21:20] <Sazir> I will play Rock paper scissors with you to see who gets to bone her
[21:20] <!Lamia_woman> She's like legit dangerous.
[21:20] <!Lamia_woman> Letting her go would have gotten the entire party killed were you not evil.
[21:21] <!Lamia_woman> Luckily she's a non-combatant.
[21:21] <!Lamia_woman> Also you could just take turns, she's chaotic evil and a demon worshipper.
[21:21] <!Lamia_woman> Hell you don't even have to take turns.
[21:22] <Vripe> how does that work with Lamias
[21:22] <!Lamia_woman> Give me a sec.
[21:22] <!Lamia_woman> Her waist is covered by a cloth, she still have human naughty bits, her legs are basically fused together into the tail.
[21:22] <!Lamia_woman> has*
[21:23] <!Lamia_woman> You CAN buttfuck a Lamia.
[21:23] <Sazir> Lewd
[21:23] <Belor|> Dam right you can.
[21:24] <Sazir> "Well then, ready to reclaim your rightful place?"
[21:25] <Belor|> "Ready to kill a heretic?"
[21:25] <!Lamia_woman> I have to do her sheet.
[21:25] <!Lamia_woman> Time out.
[21:25] <Belor|> Aye Aye captain~
[21:26] <!Lamia_woman> You migght want to get her out of here and back to full health before the fight, Malakai is pretty fucked up too.
[21:26] <@Malakai> I'm sitting on 43 health out of a max 101
[21:26] <@Malakai> lol
[21:27] <Vripe> me too, while we're at it
[21:27] <Vripe> next time I'll wear cleats
[21:27] <Vripe> or plunger boots
[21:27] <Sazir> SO!
[21:27] <Sazir> Go back out, rest for 8 hours then go back in?
[21:27]  * Lamia_woman collapses into Belor and Sazir's arms (since they're both doting on her)
[21:28] <!Lamia_woman> Yeah, thugh the Dragon might pursue so you need to hide in the swamp somewhere.
[21:29]  * Sazir looks at the Lamia then at Belor. "Well my good friend, it seems we're resting till she wakes up. Lets us leave and rest then launch an attack once again later. Hmm I might have time to have fun with that other body we found~"
[21:29] <!Lamia_woman> Luckily Rose has found a large tree with it's roots widelyspread to form a rather steathly hiding place, she's been watching after the body there.
[21:29] <Belor|> "Then this shall be an interesting night....playing hide and seek with a dragon"
[21:29] <!Lamia_woman> PLOT
[21:29] <!Lamia_woman> DEVICES
[21:29] <!Lamia_woman> OP
[21:29] <@Malakai> "Indeed..."
[21:29] <!Lamia_woman> Though the dragon will still rampage at night.
[21:30] <!Lamia_woman> But you can stay hidden if you don't start a fire.
[21:30] <!Lamia_woman> Now, we'll get to interactions after I finish her sheet.
[22:13] <!Lamia_woman> http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=496315
[22:14] <Vripe> holy crap
[22:14] <Sazir> 5/10?
[22:14] <!Lamia_woman> Oh wait.
[22:14] <!Lamia_woman> Forgot something.
[22:15] <Belor|> Back
[22:15] <Belor|> ~
[22:15] <!Lamia_woman> There we go.
[22:16] <!Lamia_woman> She's a non-combatant so she has the lowest possible HP per level and -10 to hit.
[22:16] <!Lamia_woman> So she's not going to imbalance anything.
[22:17] <Belor|> >Secret voices
[22:17] <Belor|> Oh boy~
[22:17] <Sazir> Daaaaaamn
[22:17] <!Lamia_woman> Even her CS makes your dick hard doesn't it.
[22:18] <!Lamia_woman> She's a little off that's for sure.
[22:18] <Belor|> A little off? Don't you mean a little perfect~
[22:18] <@Malakai> awesome
[22:18] <!Lamia_woman> She can rebuke outsiders like Sazir can rebuke undead.
[22:19] <!Lamia_woman> She's mostly going to be useful for the late game.
[22:19] <Sazir> Oho
[22:19] <!Lamia_woman> She can't do much for you guys at your current level besides heal and get gang banged.
[22:19] <Sazir> Which will be useful!
[22:20] == Lamia_woman has changed nick to Kriss_
[22:20] <Belor|> She can be the healer I never wanted to be!
[22:20] <!Kriss_> Her tongue is 14 inches long.
[22:20] <!Kriss_> Just so you know.
[22:20] <!Kriss_> The second stat in her height is total body length.
[22:21] <!Kriss_> The first is her half coiled "standing" height.
[22:21] <Vripe> yeah, I was wondering about that
[22:21] <!Kriss_> She's actually very tiny for a lamia.
[22:21] <Sazir> Aaah
[22:21] <!Kriss_> Most adult lamia women are closer to 14ft long and 600 lbs.
[22:21] <Sazir> WELP BELOR, TIME TO DEEPEND OUR FRIENDSHIP. BECAUSE NOTHING DEEPENDS A BOND LIKE A THREESOME WITH TWO FRIENDS AND A LAMIA
[22:22] <@Malakai> lol
[22:22] <!Kriss_> Right now her ribs are visible and she's very frail, as noted by the ""Currently Starving" debuff.
[22:23] <!Kriss_> And despite proper belief, no, semen will not stop her from dying.
[22:23] <!Kriss_> Get her some real food.
[22:23] <Sazir> Well we do have some lizardmen
[22:23] <!Kriss_> Then you can add the Semen for fun and flavor....
[22:24] <Belor|> (....Which why I have my handy dandy....Bum bum BUM!!!!! Bag or mortal flesh~)
[22:24] <Belor|> of*
[22:24] <Sazir> (Well that and there's still lumps of lizardmen all around)
[22:25] <Belor|> (Hmmm....
[22:25] <Belor|> (......I could hold the meat and cook it)
[22:26] <Sazir> (Well we are doing interaction!)
[22:26] <@Malakai> "Goddamn that acid hurt like a son of a bitch. I'm going to try to sleep this off for a bit, if you guys cook something, can you wake me up? Thanks in advance."
[22:27] <Vripe> "Just make sure you eat some before they feed the Lamia."
[22:27] <@Malakai> "Yeap"
[22:27] <!Kriss_> Andria begins tending your wounds against your will, but your lack of stamina and the fact she still has that magic sword makes you think now is not the time to resist.
[22:27] <Vripe> "Probably don't want THOSE kind of seconds."
[22:28] <@Malakai> "Dammit woman...."
[22:28]  * Sazir sits next to the Lamia. "So what kind of food do you eat? We have some wonderful human flesh or lizardmen meat."
[22:28]  * Kriss_ responds in a weak voice.
[22:29] <!Kriss_> "Raw.... preferably dripping. The kind doesn't matter."
[22:29] <Vripe> boy she is asking for it
[22:30] <Sazir> "Oh then perfect. Lovelies~" He calls some of his skeletons over to bring some of the lizardmen meat and presents them to the Lamia. "Eat up, I'm sure we'll get to know each other much better once you feel better."
[22:30] <!Kriss_> (It's not her fault everything a half dead lamia says will be lewd by default)
[22:30] <!Kriss_> (Also she meant dripping with blood.... other bodily fluids are just for seasoning)
[22:30]  * Belor| smiles to himself "Dripping you say? Well I have something that has dripped blood for a long time." takes out a chunk of human flesh.
[22:31]  * Kriss_ ravenously stuffs the meat into her mouth and tears at it with a strength and ferocity none of you thought she had left.
[22:32] <!Kriss_> Her razor sharp teeth shred the meat to pieces as blood drips down her chin and onto the tattered cloth covering her small breasts.
[22:32] <!Kriss_> She will eat until you stop feeding her.
[22:32] <Sazir> "Hmm, say I must ask, I heard that your people like the taste of male fluids. Is that true?"
[22:32]  * Sazir gives her all of the lizardmen meat that the skeletons had on them
[22:33]  * Belor| pays his friend no mind and keeps pulls out another piece of flesh.
[22:33] <Belor|> pulling*
[22:34] <!Kriss_> "It is, though the species of male doesn't matter much. Human is the best but you'd be surprised how quickly they switch from eager to terrified when they see these." She says as she opens her mouth revealing her serrated teeth."
[22:34] <!Kriss_> "Not that that ever stops us."
[22:35] <!Kriss_> "They don't need to know they're retractable. The terrified whimpers are half the fun."
[22:35]  * Kriss_ retracts her teeth in and out of her gumline to show off the ability in question before shredding into another slab of raw flesh.
[22:35] <Sazir> "Then you'd be sad to know that I'm not terrified at all, in fact it just makes me want to take you now even more. Don't you agree my good friend?"
[22:38] <Belor|> "....possibly" tears into one of the piece of flesh from the bag
[22:39] <Sazir> "Do excuse him, shy around good women you know. Wouldn't even lay with one of my lovelies when I offered. What a shame."
[22:39] <Belor|> "....I'll set you on fire..."
[22:40]  * Kriss_ smiles as her tongue coils around a bone to suck away at the last remnants of human flesh attached to it.
[22:40] <!Kriss_> "That could be arranged." The snake woman says as her tail begins coiling around Belor slowly and she leans into Sazir.
[22:41] <!Kriss_> "As soon as Kitherix lays dead."
[22:41] <Sazir> "Yes yes, or so you've told me over the years. And can it now? Well I would very much enjoy that...I take it that's the name of the dragon?"
[22:42] <!Kriss_> Her long tongue strokes along Sazirs cheek as her small breasts press into his arm and her tail loops across Bellor's inner thigh.
[22:42] <!Kriss_> "It's what he calls himself, the concept of names is meaningless to creatures as long lived as Dragons."
[22:43] <Sazir> "Hmm I see, then perhaps we shall celebrate on top of his corpse right after his death." He says with a smile as he leans into the lamia.
[22:43] <!Kriss_> SHEWANTSTOFUCK.png
[22:44] <!Kriss_> Belor's innocence ammuses me.
[22:44] <Sazir> And that's why they're the best of friends
[22:44] <Sazir> One is a manslut with undead bitches
[22:44] <Sazir> The other is an innocent moeblob who just wants to eat his bodies
[22:45] <!Kriss_> For now at least.
[22:45]  * Belor| takes his bloody fingers and draws line and circles upon her scales.
[22:45] <!Kriss_> MOE
[22:45] <!Kriss_> AS
[22:45] <!Kriss_> FUCK
[22:45] <Sazir> YAWP
[22:45]  * Kriss_ hnngs
[22:46] <Belor|> (.....I'll set you all on fire.....)
[22:46] <Sazir> "And it seems my good friend like the idea." He says as he gives Belor a knowing look.
[22:48]  * Kriss_ tummy growls.
[22:48]  * Kriss_ remembers she's starving and continues to eat without uncoiling her tail that has wormed it's way around the both of you.
[22:49] <Belor|> ".....I don't mind" continues with his intricate pattern of blood.
[22:50] <!Kriss_> GO GON GIT DA SNAKE BUTT
[22:50] <!Kriss_> GON GIT IT
[22:50] <Sazir> GON GET LEWD
[22:50] <!Kriss_> Unless you all die horribly.
[22:50] <Sazir> And then Emmy writes the lewd scene before we even fight the dragon
[22:50] <!Kriss_> No, it'll be more fun to di it live.
[22:50] <!Kriss_> I make most of my H-scenes up on the spot anyway and they come out fine.
[22:50] <!Kriss_> Ha... come.
[22:50] <Sazir> Aaaah
[22:51] <Belor|> ....can we eat the dragon while we did it?
[22:52] <Belor|> do*
[22:52] <Sazir> Lewd
[22:52] <!Kriss_> Your strange little group rests for the night, coiled beneath a giant tree in a swamp near a dragons lair.
[22:52] <!Kriss_> Now, speaking of tummy rumbles.....
[22:53] <Belor|> And on that night....Malakai didn't eat....
[22:53] <!Kriss_> Oh right, Malakai wakes up through the night with Salamander butt sitting on top of him as she snuggles his bandagedness knowning he's too weak to throw her off like he did last night.
[22:54] <@Malakai> "....goddammit..."
[22:54] <!Kriss_> This has been "Lizard Bitches: The Arc" so far.
[22:54]  * Malakai 's stomach growls
[22:54] <@Malakai> ".....god....dammit....."
[22:54]  * Malakai goes back to sleep
[22:54] <Belor|> And this is only.....Dragon number..1~
[22:55] <!Kriss_> The next one is more likely to be "Elf Bitches: the Arc"
[22:55] <!Kriss_> Next session will be tomorrow so don't fuck off all day.
[22:55] <!Kriss_> >:[