Wouldn't trade it for the world

He just needed to draw one last line to finish the girl’s hair in the last panel. It looked good enough already, but after flipping the canvas he realized that even though the silhouette was strong and clear, an extra line would help to convey the movement. He tried one long, smooth curve. Nope, that wasn’t good enough. Undo.

Try again. Wrong. Undo.

Try again. Wrong. Undo.

Try again. Wrong. Undo.

Try again. Perfect. That looked great. He pressed the ‘Save’ button on his tablet, waited a few seconds, saved again just to be sure, and left his stylus on the pen holder. Lincoln groaned, threw himself back against his chair and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. So many pages in one day for the monthly issue! The guys at the editorial would be happy about it. If he kept this pace up, he might be listened to if he brought up the need for a little raise. Not too much, just a little. It’d help him greatly.

Now that he was officially done for the day, he turned off his display tablet. He had had a headache for the past hour, and he needed an aspirin. Something for his right wrist too. It felt numb and a stinging pain bothered him with every little movement. He could almost listen to his Art School teacher.

“Draw with your shoulder, Loud. You’ll thank me later.”

He grinned as he remembered his college days. They were hard, and he was always running short on money —not like that had improved at all—, but he had a lot of fun, and he met a lot of amazing people there. Sometimes he wished he could have been more open with them, more receptive to their friendship. Maybe they would still be in touch, and they could hang out like they used to do between classes at the college library.

But he ultimately knew that he couldn’t risk getting anyone into his life on a personal, intimate level.

He took off his artist glove —made of lycra and covering only two fingers to avoid getting his tablet monitor all greasy— and stood up, immediately feeling his lower back aching. Another groan filled the apartment. These thirteen hours shifts were killing him. He had only stopped for half an hour to have a quick lunch, and the rest of the time he had been sitting there on his uncomfortable chair, drawing the comic pages he had been commissioned to do for the editorial this week.

He crossed the small living/dining room where he had his little “studio” set up and walked into the bathroom. Lincoln opened the cupboards and looked at the remaining blisters he had. Only two more aspirins and one diclofenac.

“Dang it.”

He needed to buy more. For the time being, he decided to just take an aspirin. He could deal with the back and wrist pain, and if it turned out to be unbearable, then he could take the diclofenac. No biggie.

He returned to the living room and grabbed a glass of water. Through the glass door that led to the tiny balcony, he saw the sun beginning to set. It should be around eight pm, then. The tired artist leaned against the countertop, took the aspiring and got deep into his thoughts.

“It’s almost time for supper”, he thought, finishing his water, “maybe I could ask Clyde to send me a few surveys.”

Ever since his childhood friend got a good job at an international entertainment consultant, he would often send Lincoln online surveys he could fill in no more than twenty minutes each. The extra bucks he did by filling those had saved him more than once. Just one of them would give him enough money to buy more blisters for his cupboard. He was seriously considering grabbing his phone and sending Clyde a message when a knock on his door caught his attention.

He left his glass in the sink and walked towards the door. It was probably his neighbor, Joyce. That old lady always asked for his help with her internet connection or when she was too exhausted to leave the building and buy groceries. He didn’t mind helping her, she was a sweet woman that lived alone by herself in her apartment. As far as he knew, she didn’t have any family in town, so Lincoln was really the only one that could help her. He didn’t mind doing her favors.

Besides, she always gave him a couple of bucks for the inconveniences. He wasn’t about to complain about her.

Lincoln was convinced it was Joyce the one that knocked on his door. That’s why, when he opened the door, he was taken aback by his unexpected visitor. A twelve years old girl, her long hair tied in a neat bun behind her head, dressed with some sneakers, khaki shorts, an orange shirt, and a red and black jacket on top. She was carrying what looked like a heavy sports bag, but it didn’t look heavy enough to have her standing there with her shoulders dropped, her head bowed down, her back slightly arched like she was carrying the weight of the world.

He couldn’t see her beautiful freckled face, but Lincoln would recognize her anywhere in an instant.

“Lacy”, he said, his father senses tingling. He quickly looked at both sides of the hall, but there was no one else there. “Come in”, he hurried her, putting a hand on her shoulder and letting her inside his apartment.

Before closing the door, he sneaked one last look, just to be sure that no one had seen her.

The moment she got inside the apartment, Lacy let go of her sports bag, letting it fall flat on the floor, and she marched right onto the couch. Lincoln watched her as she sat on it, hugging her knees to her chest and hiding her face in her arms. It didn’t take a genius to see that something serious was going on. Every time one of his daughters visited him without their mother and without letting him know first, something bad had happened. Except for Loan, who sometimes just missed him so much that she ran away from her house. Lori was never happy about that.

He didn’t care that she didn’t say anything to him, didn’t give him a hug, or that she had her shoes on the sofa cushions. All he wanted was to find out what was wrong with his little girl and fix it. He kneeled in front of her.

“Hey, champ”, Lincoln said in the most gentle voice he could manage. “I haven’t seen you in like a week!”

Lacy barely looked up, enough for her to stare at her father with deep, sad eyes. She mumbled something, looking away from him.

“Come again?” He asked, leaning closer and flashing her a smile. She sighed and lifted her head from the little nest her arms and knees formed.

“Sorry”, she said, her throat dry. “For coming here unannounced.”

“Tsk. Don’t worry about that honey! You’re always welcomed here!” He told her, moving a hand to rest on her right arm. “You should have called me when you were at the entry. Who let you in? Or did you use the fire exit again?” He asked with a mischievous smile.

Lacy’s lips curled into a sheepish smile as she remembered that time.

“A woman was just entering with her groceries and asked me if I lived here. I told her I wanted to visit you.” Lincoln was about to say something when she continued, “I told her I was your niece.”

He nodded in silence. His kids knew that they couldn’t call him their father in public. It was only in the privacy of their homes that they could call him Dad. Whenever they were outside, he was Uncle Lincoln. Which, while it didn’t feel right for any of them, it technically wasn’t a lie.

“So… what brings you here?” He asked.

Her face darkened, and she had to look away once again. Lincoln pursed his lips. He had enough experience with girls and knew his daughter too much to know that this was something serious, and that whatever had happened to her, she wasn’t going to just say it.

“Tell you what, what if you watch some TV while I make some supper, and then we talk about it? How does that sound?”

Lacy looked at him and shrugged her shoulders.

“I am kind of hungry”, she said in a whisper.

He smiled at her, leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead and stood up, going then into the little kitchen. As he opened his fridge, he heard the TV playing a few feet away from him, and the latest sports commentaries filled the apartment as he stared at the huge amount of nothing he had left. Half a jar of juice and just enough macaroni for one more portion. He rubbed his temples and stopped himself before sighing.

Lincoln grabbed the macaroni and put them in a saucepan with water. He then took a match, lighted it up, and turned on a stove. He at least had some ingredients to cook a good sauce. As he did his best with what little he had left in the reduced space his kitchen offered, he gave a few glances to the living room. Lacy was now fully laid down on the couch, playing with her jacket sleeves as she disinterestedly watched TV. He frowned in his worry, and decided to put some extra love into his cooking.

As the water boiled, he grabbed his phone and sent a text to Lynn, letting her know that Lacy was at his place, since he assumed she was none the wiser. Her shift at the local gym ended at eight, so she was probably still there or on her way home.

It wasn’t long until everything was ready, and he made sure to make the plate look as appealing and delicious as possible.

“Come here, sweetie”, he called her, setting up the table for her.

Lacy sluggishly stood up and went to the little table, sitting across her father. She looked at her plate, and then at the emptiness in front of him.

“Aren’t you going to eat, too?”

He smiled and shook his head.

“Nah, I was so hungry I ate like half an hour ago. Early dinner, you know?”

“Mom says you need to be consistent with your meals”, she told him as an afterthought, as she grabbed her fork and stuffed the first bit of food into her mouth.

“She’s probably right. You should listen to her”, Lincoln said with a happy smile, closing his eyes for just a second to think about her mother. He shook his thoughts away and poured some juice for him and his daughter. “You had a test this Thursday, right? I think it was… Math?”

“Science”, she corrected him, taking a sip a juice before continuing. “Lyra had a Math test.”

“Science, right. Sorry.”

“It’s ok. I barely passed. Lupa and Liby both got better grades than me.”

“Hey, that’s okay”, he told her. He was about to grab her free left hand and give it a caring squeeze, but she moved it to rest her chin on it. “You passed, and that’s great! Science can be really hard. I always struggled with it, and I had a scientist living literally next door.”

Lacy put on a sorrowed smile, but didn’t say anything as she kept eating her supper. Lincoln tried to start a conversation a couple of times, bringing up trivial stuff like how good her jacket looked —”Aunt Leni bought it to me for my birthday”— or why her hair looked damp —”I just took a shower”—, but by the time she was finishing her meal, they had barely spoken more than a few sentences each.

Just then he remembered her sports bag and how full it looked.

“So, uh, were you playing sports before coming here?” He asked.

She hesitated and paused for a full second before eating a new mouthful of macaroni, and Lincoln knew that he had found the source of her distress.

“Yes”, she softly answered. “We played against the leaders in our soccer league. The most anticipated match of the season.”

Lincoln clicked his tongue.

“You should’ve let me know! I would have totally went there to support you!”

She left her fork on the plate and looked down at her knees.

“It’s ok… I know you’re busy with work…”

“Don’t worry about that! Look, I took this job because I get to stay at home to do it and make my own schedule. It’s like I’m my own boss! And there’s nothing I would love more than to see my daughter kicking ass in football.”

“Soccer.”

“That too.”

Lacy chuckled and smiled for a second, but her smile trembled before her eyes began to water, and she hid her face behind her hands. Before her shoulders began to spasm, Lincoln was already on his feet, walking around the table and wrapping his arms around his daughter.

“Like mother, like daughter”, he thought, realizing what was wrong. Unlike her mother, though, Lacy didn’t kick him in the shin so he would release her; instead, she gave in to the hug and buried her face in his chest.

He patted her back, rubbed her arms and kissed her head as he tried to calm her down. It didn’t take him too long. Lacy was trying her best to keep herself from crying. She wanted to look strong in front of her father. He embraced her until he sensed that she was no longer struggling to keep her emotions under control.

Lincoln let go of his daughter and bent in front of her, trying to be eye level.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He softly asked her.

“I… I lost the game”, Lacy told him, her voice filled with sorrow and defeat. She clenched her fists so hard her whole arm was shaking, and he saw her pouting and trying to fight the urge to look away. “I played awful… I missed two clear goals, and… and then I missed a penalty.”

“Don’t worry, honey, everyone has a rough day every now and then, I’m sure-”

“Mom didn’t!” She hollered, cutting him short. “She was always the best! She always won the finals for her team! She was the best at everything, and she did like five sports at the same time! I only do one, and I still can’t be as good as her! She… she was so excited about this game… She spent her whole day off coaching me and I.. I just… I failed her. Again”, she finished, burying her face in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees and her back curled like she wanted to disappear.

He realized she wasn’t really talking to him anymore, she was just venting out. He wanted to let her take all those things out of her chest, but he couldn’t stand listening to his daughter saying those things about herself. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for one of his trademarks motivational speeches. It had been a while since his last one, and he hoped he still had it in him.

“Lacy. Look at me”, he commanded. She didn’t do it, so he gently grabbed her wrists and pulled them down. He held them in his hands and beamed at her until she looked back into his eyes.

She was twelve now, but as he studied her sad eyes, all he could see was the little girl with the freckled face that not too long ago had been asking him for piggy rides in the park. She looked so vulnerable, so disappointed in herself, so afraid of not living up to a ridiculous standard set only by herself…

“Did you try your best?” He asked her.

She blinked twice before answering.

“I… It wasn’t enough…”

“Did you?”

“...yes.”

“Then I couldn’t be happier”, he sincerely told her, giving her the warmest smile he could pull up from his heart, “and I know that your mother will be proud when she hears that.”

“Proud?” She cringed. “I lost… I failed my-”

“If you really tried your best, then you failed no one, Lacy. Not your team, not yourself, not me, and especially not your mother. She used to make me play with her all the time. I was her sparring for every sport she practiced, and I sucked. I was terrible at every single one of them. But you know what she said to me every day after we were done?”

Lacy shrugged her shoulders.

“She’d tell me that she was proud of her little bro. One time, when we were fourteen and sixteen, I kinda asked her about it. She said she was proud of me because even if I wasn’t as good as her —not even close—, I tried my best. And that’s all she ever wanted me to do. To have fun and do my best.”

He hoped his words would be helping her, but Lacy stubbornly shook her head and looked elsewhere. She was very different from her mother, but her thick-headed nature was something she had definitely inherited from Lynn.

“Do you really think your mother will be angry at you?”

“Not angry”, she replied, “just… sad. Disappointed.”

“Why would she feel that way?”

“Because I’m not as good as her.”

“But are you happy?” He asked, making her pause. “When you play. Even if you lost today and you’re frustrated right now. When you go to soccer practice, do you have fun? Are you happy?”

She stayed in silence, deep in her thoughts, trying to process her father’s question and to find the answer. He saw her struggling for a whole minute before she looked at him dead in the eye and gave him the slightest nod of her head.

“Then I don’t care about a stupid game. I’m just happy that my little girl is having fun, and I know your mother is, too. We love you, champ. You’ll always be our number one, no matter wh—”

Her arms closing themselves around his shoulders silenced him, and Lincoln held on to his daughter. His shirt got a little damp on his left shoulder where she was currently resting her head, but he couldn’t care less about it.

After a few minutes, Lacy finally broke the hug.

“I’m sorry, dad. I shouldn’t have come here unannounced.”

“You’re always welcomed, honey. Every day of the week, no matter what the time is”, he told her. She gave him a tiny smile and wiped a tear from her cheeks. “Listen, I already told your mom you were here. Why don’t you stay for the night? I think Lyra left a nightgown the last time she came. It’ll be a little long, but it should be alright.”

“Can I really stay?” She asked, her face beamed with excitement.

“Of course!” He answered, putting a hand on her head and messing with her hair a little. “Why don’t you take a warm shower and then we go to my room to watch TV until late night? I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Giving him a kiss on his right cheek, Lacy jumped up and ran into Lincoln’s room; she already knew where he kept his children’s clothes. A minute later, she was in the bathroom, and the sound of a shower filled the apartment.

As he stood up and started to get everything ready to sleep on the couch, Lincoln smiled to himself. He wasn’t expecting a visit from one of his kids; they usually let him know if they wanted to visit him during the week, or they just waited until the weekend, when Lincoln made sure to have enough time to be constantly visiting his sister’s houses and apartments to be with them all as much as he could. Even if this wasn’t planned and now he couldn’t make a few extra bucks through online surveys, spending a few hours watching movies with his little girl sounded amazing.

He started to clean the table, and when he grabbed Lacy’s plate, he gave a longing look to the macaroni. After a quick glance to the closed bathroom door, he used the fork to grab them and stuff as much as he could into his mouth. He chewed them like there was no tomorrow, leaving the plate on the sink for him to wash the next morning. He patted his stomach and cringed a little.

Well, it was almost sleep-time anyway.

He was about to head to bed to get into more comfortable clothes when the sound of a key trying to get into his door caught his attention. Whoever was there wouldn’t be able to open it because his own keys were already on the keyhole. He smirked and went there, already knowing who was standing outside.

“Don’t you ever knock?” He asked as he opened the door, teasingly smiling at his sister.

“Shut up, dork”, Lynn told him, stepping inside.

Lincoln closed the door and turned around just in time to be caught in a hug. He hugged her back, closing his eyes and losing himself in the feeling. They were both in their early thirties, they had grown taller, he had a little goatee beard —no mustache, tho— and she had a body to die for —gym and a good diet were great for a woman—, but he could still feel the love they’d started to share during their teenage years in that hug right then. Life had put them to the test several times, but their love had stayed unaltered. Strong and pure.

She let go of her and looked at the seemingly empty apartment.

“Where is she?”

“She’s taking a shower”, he explained.

“Oh”. She left her bag on the table and opened it to search for something, giving Lincoln time to appreciate her crossfit clothes and how good they looked on her. “I went to a drive through on my way here”, she told him, taking out a little bag with the golden arches.

“She already ate, but I’ll bring you a plate and something to drink if you want.”

“I already ate at the gym”, she told him, taking out a double quarter pounder with cheese and handing it to him. “It’s for you.”

He grabbed the tiny box where the burger was and frowned at it.

“Why did you…?” He began, the words trailing off as they left his throat. Lynn stepped closer and her hands fixed some wrinkles on his shirt.

“I know you weren’t expecting her”, she softly said, looking at him with a grim little smile, “I wanted to make sure that you had something for you to eat.”

He didn’t answer, and instead, he fished his wallet out of his pocket.

“How much was it? Four dollars? Five?”

“Pft, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m serious, how much?”

“Put that thing away and just eat the damn burger, Lincoln.”

“Look, I’m not gonna let you buy me food like I’m some—”

“Jeez, I’m just being nice, take the—”

“...late anyway, I’ll just drink a cup of coffee and—”

“...always the same, you’d rather starve than letting me or the girls help you with—”

Their silent argument stopped the moment the bathroom door opened and Lacy stepped out of it, dressed in a bathrobe and with a towel on her head. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of her mother, and a mix of shame, fear, and worry plastered on her face. Lynn looked at Lincoln, and then at her daughter.

“Hey.”

“Hey, mom…”

She went to give her a hug and then stared at her face. She studied it for a second, running a hand over her daughter’s cheek as Lacy looked at the floor.

“Lincoln, can we use your room for a second?” Lynn asked him.

“It’s all yours, ladies.”

They left him alone in his living room. As soon as they were gone, he grabbed a five dollars bill from his wallet and left it inside Lynn’s bag. He sat on the table with a hurt expression and sighed. His fingers drummed the wood surface for a while, until he couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed the burger his sister had gotten to him. He gave it an angry bite, and he closed his eyes as the delicious flavor clouded his senses.

He hated every single second of pleasure that eating the burger caused him. He almost licked his fingers clean after he was done, but then his frustration hit him again. He didn’t even clean the table this time. Lincoln simply stood up, slid the glass door open and stepped into the tiny balcony. The Sun was nowhere to be seen now, and the soft tones of orange were now washed away by a strong, dark blue with the hints of the first stars on the furthest end of the horizon. He leaned against the balustrade and stared at the little clouds, their undersides tinted with the orange tones of the city’s lights.

He could never, ever hate or regret having his children. Every single one of them was the light of his life. He would die for them without even thinking about it. He loved them all dearly.

But sometimes he hated himself. Not for having them, but for not being prepared to be the father they deserved. He was barely a kid when Loan came to his life, and Lori had to take care of her on her own to avoid suspicions. Luna moved to Los Angeles before Lyra was born, and he had been out of her life for the first years. Things had been a bit better ever since, but he had to learn as he went along. He had made mistakes.

He liked to think that he hadn’t really done a bad job at parenting. He loved them all so much, and he always tried his best to make them happy. But sometimes, he felt his best wasn’t enough. He couldn’t buy them all the things he would like to. He wasn’t there for them 24/7. His parents, rest in peace, had also struggled with a low budget and not too much time to spare between them all, but he had never felt like they failed him. They were both there whenever he needed them.

Both of them.

His sisters were always watching over their children, and they could provide them well. They all had relatively well-paid jobs, at least enough for them to buy pretty presents to their daughters without taking insane and unhealthy shifts. He was about to go to sleep without even eating dinner just because he didn’t have enough food. His older sister had to buy her something to eat.

How pathetic was that? He was their brother, their partner, the father of their kids. He should be providing them all. He should be the guy that made their lives easier, but he was actually the biggest failure of them all. He couldn’t finish college like Lori. He didn’t have his own house like Lisa. He wasn’t his own boss like Lola. He was a crappy digital artist that drew comics for a company that no one ever read, who got underpaid for his work, and who had to get a stay-at-home work to avoid getting people into his life. Because he couldn’t let anyone find out about his family and him.

He thought about his little girl in the door next to him. She had had a very important game, and she didn’t even invite him. He was incredibly busy, yes, but he would’ve gladly stayed awake all night to finish his work if that meant he could go there to show her his support. He loved her so much, and he couldn’t be there for her when she needed him the most. She got to his home at almost eight in the afternoon. That was no time to finish a game, she must have finished long before. Had she been sad enough to not go to her house? What had she been doing?

Why wasn’t he there for her? Would any of his kids be going through something like that this very same moment? When was the last time he called them all to check how they were doing? He saw them pretty regularly, but was it enough?

The minutes passed as he stayed there, thinking about his situation. He was drawn out of his reflections when he heard his bedroom door, and moments later Lynn joined him on the balcony.

“How is Lacy?” He asked her, making room for her to lean against the balustrade next to him. She did so, her shoulder brushing against his arm.

“She fell asleep”, she said, staring at the night sky.

“Really?”

“She was tired and stressed out.”

“So, she told you what happened?”

Lynn nodded. “When I read your text I figured out what was going on.”

“She’s just like you, ain’t she?”

“Huh. I was thinking that she was too much like you, actually”, Lynn said, turning to her side to look at him. “Thinking that she needs to be an elite athlete for me to love her. Remember when you joined that marathon and you almost had a heart attack when you were fourteen? Just to impress me?”

They both chuckled.

“I actually told her about it”, he said, “and how you told me you just wanted me to give my best. I told her that as long as she’s happy, we’d both be proud.”

“So I’ve heard. You’re a good father, Lincoln”, she complimented him, giving his arm a soft squeeze.

He began to smile at her, but his happy face quickly turned into a grimace. He tried to look away, but his sister would not be fooled so easily.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

Lincoln moved uncomfortably in his place. He dropped his gaze from the gentle, twinkling stars, and focused on the ever-moving cars on the highway, driving at high speeds, going somewhere, or maybe getting away from something. He himself didn’t know what he wanted to do. Should he tell her what was bothering him? Or should he shut up and keep his inner demons to himself?

“Talk to me, you dumbass”, she said, giving him a punch in the arm. It didn’t hurt as much as it used to.

“It’s just… am I? A good father, I mean. ‘Cause sometimes I feel like I’m not worth a shit.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Lincoln. Of course you’re a good father. Look what you did with Lacy; she was already fine when I talked with her, and it was thanks to you.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know. I’m such a loser. I can’t give you guys the money I should. You even had to buy me something so I wouldn’t go to sleep without eating”, he said, shaking his head and bowing his head down with a sad smile. “Sometimes… I don’t know. I still don’t understand what you all saw in me. ”

The silence of the night was only interrupted by the sound of cars driving through the streets beneath them. Lincoln tried his best to avoid his sister’s eyes, which he could feel on the side of his head like two augers drilling holes in his skull. He didn’t want to see her, because he knew she’d try to convince him otherwise. She’d tell him that he was the best father ever and a bunch of other stuff he could probably get behind, but he ultimately knew that he wasn’t the man his family deserved.

Lynn’s first sign of life after his words was to let out the biggest sigh he had ever heard from someone outside of Lucy. His ears then detected the sound of her fingers drumming the balustrade, and finally her tongue clicking.

“You’re a grown ass man now, but you’re still the same dumb dork I fell in love with”, she softly told him, before grabbing him by his shoulder and roughly forcing him to turn around and look at her. “Do you really think we want money from you? Lincoln, don’t be naive. You were always the best brother we could ever wish for. So caring, and kind, and… So yourself, you know? How could we not fall in love with you? Seriously, if ten girls fell in love with you against all odds, that has to mean that you have something special, right?”

He smiled at her attempts to make him feel better. His eyes studied her freckled face, her long hair, her deep eyes. It was all painted with the soft glow of the street lights from underneath them. Very carefully, he lifted a hand and caressed her left cheek.

“Don’t you ever feel mad at me?” He asked in a whisper, stroking her face. “For being like this? Don’t you ever wish that I could be only yours?”

Lynn bit her lower lip and darted her eyes away from him for just a second, and he saw a hint of doubt on them. But then they stared back at him with a renewed spark of determination.

“Sometimes”, she admitted, nodding slightly, “sometimes I wonder how our lives would be if there was only me and you and Lacy. But you love us all the same and you could never do that to the rest of our sisters. And… I’m ok with how things have turned out, because I know you don’t love me any less.”

“Of course I don’t.”

“And about our kids? You don’t have to be rich or with them all the time to be the best, Lincoln”, she said with a tender smile, one so not-Lynn that he had trouble believing it. Her hands found their way to his chest, where they rested, feeling his heartbeat through his shirt. “Anyone else would have given up trying to be a good father by now. What you do is beyond insane. You try your best, bro, you try. That’s all we could ever want from you. That’s more than enough.”

His stressed week had him on the edge, and he felt his eyes itching for some strange reason. He blinked and smiled, trying to keep himself together. Lynn noticed how much her words had meant to him, and she gave him a cocky smile. Years ago, their relationship had been passionate, romantic, so full of love and energy… Having kids and with new sisters getting into his love circle, they found themselves with little time to share their love. Right then and there, though, they were all alone on the balcony, and there was no one to distract them as they leaned towards each other, their lips meeting halfway in a soft, tender kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and she put hers around his neck. After their kiss ended, she went back for a second one, and Lincoln was happy to oblige. When they were done, they separated their mouths, and he embraced her against his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes, with the stars and the clouds as the only witnesses of their forbidden yet wonderful love.

“Lacy told me you said she could stay for the night”, she mumbled. “Want me to stay, too?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want.”

“I want to make sure you’re okay. You’re still my little bro.”

He smiled at her words. Some things never changed.

“We would have to share the couch.”

“That’s fine by me”, she said, shrugging her shoulders, “but Lacy’s sleeping in the next room. Do you think we can be quiet enough?”

Lincoln groaned, but his growing smile betrayed him.

“There’s more to us than sex, you know?” He told her, shaking his head.

Lynn faked a pouting and looked down at the floor.

“Fine. We can start by cuddling… and then we’ll see what happens.”

She stole one last kiss from him and walked back into the apartment. She stopped at the edge of the glass door and looked over her shoulder.

“You coming in or what?” She asked him.

Lincoln took a moment to review his life. He wasn’t a normal guy. His life had stopped being normal a long time ago. He was a loser who had no own house, who lived on a shitty one bedroom apartment, who had to work on his house, who was underpaid and struggled every month to pay rent and to have enough food for himself, a father of almost a dozen of kids he couldn’t buy things for, and he wasn’t the man he thought his daughters and sisters deserved.

One could see all that and believe his life was miserable and that he had nothing going on for him, but as he walked behind Lynn, closed the sliding door and pulled on the curtains, he realized one thing:

Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever needed, he already had it.