Ok now before I go any further with this, let me tell anybody who is reading this something. LOOK AT YOUR CALENDER. It probably reads April 1st. This is an APRIL FOOLS THREAD meaning all humor or comments are either fake or just plain stupid. If you are easily offended by fabrications I suggest you don't read or go play hockey. I mean really, when has anybody read any thread I make without bracing themselves first? Yeah so in conclusion, THIS THREAD IS COMPLETE JOKING AND TO BE TREATED THAT WAY.

[b][size=16][center] PRESENTING THE CHRONICLES OF PB, 15 VOLUME[/b][/center][/size]

After me doing my daily bike ride around Bridgeport, I decided I should come home and read some books like my teachers told me. In short, instead of reading books I decided to go on Wikipedia and look up there 10 word summaries. I mean really, why waste your time doing that kind of stuff. So anyway I was to lazy to read the summaries past 3 words, so I went to the bathroom with my iPod in hand with iFunny open. Right before I could venture past the door of my room to make my daily voyage to the great lake in the crystal hard floored room of deep thought I valently tripped on my unkempt wire of my Laptop. I flew across with room and slammed into my bookcase. Where a large book fell on top of my head. After 10 minutes of cursing about why anybody would put books on a bookcase, I decided to see what actually hit me. A dusty large book with the letters
" P E  N                          15." After a quick dusting it revealed the book known as "PRESENTING THE CHRONICLES OF PB, VOLUME 15 BY PMJ AND BACON." From that minute I realized 3 things, PMJ was here, bacon was here, and I had dropped my pants.

[b]THE MEMBERS WHO HAVE BEEN ETCHED IN HISTORY[/b]

Pride - After a very long investigation, it has been found out that Pride has been cheating on his lovely wife with banned member Complexy. Member PDC claims that her scamming techniques have all been taught by him even though he has literally only talked to her twice. Back to the story, private investigator Sheer Force says he is impressed with the efforts Pride has tried to prevent the story from getting out. Sadly sheer force is no longer with us, he was found dead outside a gas station with tire marks all over him. A Mexican has obviously been involved here.

Shining Raikou - Now in college Shining Raikou has been deprived of his averedge diet of "rippers." Due to this he has now been roaming the streets alone hoping to find people who he thinks would commit mail fraud. Sadly this resulted in two bad decisions on ripping up a fruit cake present being sent out and a few pieces of legos. Lets be honest thought he made a good decision with the fruit cake. The legos, I can't say. Back to the story, Shining Raikou was bailed out of the county jail today along with 6 other college students. 3 were girls and 2 were guys. The other one was a proffesor who kept making claims of a giant cat clawing at his window right after he finished playing a game of online tcg. Report has it that SR has sent out minions to do his bidding on murdering rippers in there sleep while he is gone. Sleep tight!

PMJ - Now let me tell you one thing. Before you go any further with this I just want to say PMJ is a brother and he will jack you if you do not know how funky he can get. He has an AFRO OK. AN AFRO. Like really. I've seen him. I WANT TO BE HIM. Anyway PMJ has a unhealthy affection with anything pony making him a "FURRY" which is not a good sign. But then I realized something, probably only 5 of you know what that even is. So I am going to break it down for you. He has commited acts of unspeakable measure on animals. He used to get punked and bullied on his block until he cut a kittens head off and stuck it in this kid's male box. Thats why nobody messes with PMJ. Oh and he also has a bounty on Light Venusaur. Bye now!

bacon - You better get rid of that 9 because it is BACON. The original. The person who said "Troop Doop Scoop" in the face of some guy who dosen't even exist. He just said it and put a Bidoof on a Scizor. But there is a scar on the face of the hamster known as bacon. That is that he is a vegan. Yeah, a vegan. However, - oh you know what screw being nice. BACON COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AND REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE. EAT MEAT. DON'T DENY THE TRUTH. YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM IT FOREVER. YEAH THAT'S YOU IN THAT CLOSET OVER THERE. GET BACK HERE. DON'T LEAVE ME NO DON'T LEAVE COME BACK.

Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.

safariblade - badgers. badgers everywhere. there is a large claw mark on this page which only leaves one paragraph. that is that safariblade ran through the hills to conquer the dancing honey badgers that roam the forum since last year. Now he bears a large green sword to wipe away those memories of trolling the pathetic who believed in him. Sadly the battle has left him a former shell of his old self. Badgers everybody. Badgers. Do you see what you have done? You took this mans soul. I mean look at him. Look at him.

Oh and I should also mention that safariblade was found in WPM's home with McDonalds straws and a pieces of "cake". Hint : The Cake is a lie. Only 3 people will get this joke.

TDL - The legend of TDL began when he made a disagreement thread on the sexuality of a member's signature. However, prior to this an even bigger event occured. That event is none other than the fact that TDL has a secret life of a bar tender who loves to sing the blues. I even witnissed TDL standing on top of a piano with a scraggly voice that could only be put on no other than a famous black suited person named B.B King. What do we really know about TDL? Yes he indeed is a strange case. He also has a fetish for previous mod Steadfast. He hopes his Lucario can mate with Steadfast's creating the ultimate Lucario known as "The Dark Bread." Oh and I almost forgot, TDL is dressing up as Nicholas Cage for Halloween.

ShadowLugia - Living life in the fast lane in both ways. He is indeed a rider. Blazing by in a Mustang with a Daft Punk mask on while listening to deadmau5. Known for his exstensive knowlege on electric and techno he often is found dancing in bright shining disco clothes late at night with his Walkman blasting in the background. This can be attributed with his previous love of Britney Spears and Jenny From The Block, but thats another story to be told.

Riskbreakers - Riskbreaks was recently found in his house with discarded Pixie Sticks and "Go Go Juice" as it says on the top. Yeah i'm not quite sure what he was up to either. Riskbreakers does indeed love to take risks. In fact one time he attempted the half court shot in fantasty basketball. Sadly he missed, but that is besides the point. Know to hang out with the "cool asians" of the site he chills at a dry cleaning store with Shawn, Noobnerd, and TDL. However, they are not washing the clothes. The one that is is the poor man known as Teapot. Riskbreakers was seen fleeing a park yesterday yelling " 私はペットの岩を発見した " only to realize he isn't even Japanese.

Futachimaru - After my secret detective JC, shower inspector exexutive was sent to Futachimaru's house a few nights ago we have finally realized the truth on the members gender. It is finally revealed to all of Pokebeach, that Fut is actually a woman! We know this because JC came back with a large fork mark in his lower abdomen and many red marks on his face. JC explains after looking into the shower he got chased out with a shovel into the yard. JC says he did not get a clear view on the subject, however from the area of the marks, we can only assume JC got his balls thrashed very very badly by what is indeed a woman.

JC - Like said in previous articles JC is my #1 stalker. Need to see your co-worker naked? He already has the camera and swim trunks. Need to find out if a girl at school likes you? He gets the butter and tape recorder. Want to find out if your best friend is cheating on your boyfriend / girlfriend? He already is in their room like spiderman clinging on a web of broken sausage. He works for a price of 19.99 and is known for his noble acts of snitchery. JC has a girlfriend named Ashley as well who repeatly is asked about in community chats. However JC's true love is Bellomence who he often dreams about and makes up wet fantasies. Don't think I wasn't there JC.

Hatman - Recently forum member Hatman has been spotted in a mental clinic for his obsessive Hat hoarding. Apprently after 14 long years of wearing nothing but hats ( and I do mean nothing ) Hatman has finally been sent where he belongs. Right before he was being dragged off he loudly yelled "I NEED MY TOP HAT WAXXED!" This was a horrible scene considering the Top Hat did indeed needed to be waxxed but nobody could provide the service to him. Hatman is expected to make a recovery after his mother goes shopping at Walmart and gets him some clothes besides hats. Remmeber kids, meth is one hell of a drug.

Kevin Garrett - Member Kevin Garret has recently started fufilling his dream of being a monkey salesman for the black market. Sadly this dream was halted 3 years ago when he sold a faulty chimp which later on ripped the face of off a woman. Fearing his incoming arrest he fled to avoid any police possible. He finally settled down in New Jersey hoping nobody would find him. To embrace his new identity he came up with the name Kevin Garrett and started playing Pokemon as an undercover form of recognition. He soon became adept at his new life and name, but misses the days of chimps running around his household with hats on (Hatman may be involved) and breathing firey tricks. Needless to say he quickly fell in love with the Pokemon Chimchar, which he often uses as a symbol of his twisted past. Although we do not know exactly where he lives, be sure to call the cops immediatly to arrest the monkey selling villian at hand.

Limitless -

PDC - This young boy is - you know what. I hate this kid. PDC, YOUR NOT A DRUG DEALER. I mean really, are you that much of a wannabee crack salesman? Oh, and stop hating on bronies dirtbag. Ponies are better than you and your Bridegport. So shut your face you demented 12 year old. Go suck on some giant bubblegum lollipops or something and STOP BEING A PUNK. I swear to god, if anybody EVER sees you and they have a knife I WILL MAKE SURE THEY WILL KILL YOU. Oh, and also you DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. YOUR NOT 26 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT COLLEGE IS. If I had a dollar for every male genitila you don't have, I would have 1 dollar. Motherbeeping kid trying to beep up beep in this beeping beep beep you and your beep beep beep.

Sincerly,
The Craft Salesman outside your window.

P.S - STOP FISHING. IT'S SLOW.