MTT - A Prank Too Far

>"You did what?"
"I saran wrapped his car - with bologna - that is."
>"Oh, darling. This prank war has gone too far."
"What?"
>"Y'all know that's gonna strip the paint from his car? Right?"
>you laugh at Applejack
"No, it's not."
>the girls all look at each other for a moment, then turn to you, and speak in unison.
>"Yeah, it is."
>you get a little bit more serious
"No, it's not. I'm sure of it. All it does is leave little pink polka-dots."
>"Yeah, then when it comes off, it strips the paint."
>in the most polite manner she can muster, Rarity questions you
>"Anon, dear. Who told you about this?"
"You guys are just messing with me. I learned about from-"
>before you finish, you reflect on the name you were just about to say
4chan
>your gut sinks
"Oh shit."
>your head mimics your gut and sinks into your hands
"Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit."
>"You didn't actually go through with this, did you?"
>you just keep repeating the same two words over and over
>"Ah'm takin' that as a mighty big 'yes.'"

>you look up from your hands
"Flash is going to be so pissed
>"Well, duh."
>you turn over to Rainbow, who is chastising you
>"You totally ruined the paint on his car."
>you take a breath
"So, what's this going cost me? A few hundred bucks?"
>Rarity starts to correct you
>"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no."
Oh, thank God
>"You're looking at several thousand dollars. At least."
Well, fuck me in the ass with a rusty knife
"Oh, shit. Flash is going to fucking kill me."
>speak of the devil
>"I'm going to do what, now?"
>you turn around to see Flash Sentry standing behind you with a look of genuine curiosity
>Rarity leans closer to you
>"Well, there's no getting out of this, now."
>you take a deep breath. You feel your heart about to leap out of your chest
"Okay, Flash. I know you and I aren't on the best of terms, but what I did went way too far, and I feel awful."
>Flash just raises an eyebrow
"This morning, I took a bunch of bologna, and put it on your car, then took a bunch of saran wrap, and wrapped your car."
>"No, you didn't."
"Look, I'm really sorry, and I promise to pay for-"
>your heart skips a beat. You have difficulty comprehending what he just said
"Ex-"
>you swallow down your nerves for just a moment
"Excuse me?"
>"That wasn't my car, bro. I just got here. My first class doesn't start until after lunch."
>Fluttershy tries to interject
>"Um. Guys."
>you all turn towards her in dread
>"Doesn't Celestia drive a car similar to Flash's?"
>the intercom comes on
>"Whoever has saran wrapped lunch meat to my car, I would like to see you in my office."
>the intercom turns off, and the cafeteria is silent
>your gut sinks through the floor. You're left speechless, but the girls manage to capture words that accurately express your feelings as they say altogether
>"Oh shit."

>you force a smile
"I don't think it's going to be so bad. Celestia's really nice. Maybe she'll forgive me?"
>the girls once again shoot looks over at each other before looking back to you with doubt, and a hint of worry
"Okay, maybe I'll just get detention for a while."
>they're just silent. You try to stay hopeful
"Okay, maybe she won't let me off THAT easy, but it's not that big of a deal, right?"
>more silence
"Or maybe she'll..."
>you try to rationalize your punishment, but nothing's working. You break down and fall to your knees. Your words shaking as they come
"I'm going to fucking die."
>Rarity puts a hand on you
>"Oh, she's not going to kill you, per se-"
>you jump up in a moment of brilliance. Or, you at least thought it was brilliant considering your desperation
"Wait! That's it! I'll just kill myself! I can grab a ladder from the groundskeepers' shed to climb to the top of the school! You know, what? That's a good idea, in fact: it's a great idea! I mean, how's she going to kill me if I'm already-"
>Rarity grabs your face with her hands, and pulls you so that your eyes meet hers
>"Anon, you're not serious about killing yourself."
"Pshh. Of course I am!"
>she gives you a shake
>"Anon!"
>coming back to reality, you let out a sigh
"No."
>"Just go up there, and tell the truth. It will be much better if you own up to it."
"You're right."
>Rarity lets go of you
>"I'll walk with you up there. How does that sound?"
>you smile
"Thanks. That sounds nice."

>you try to take your time walking to the principal's office, but Rarity doesn't allow it. Every time you slow yourself, she grabs you by the collar and pulls you along
>"Ah ah ah. You're not leaving my sight."
"Come on. I need time to calm my nerves."
>"Oh, please. You're going straight down there to face this."
>as she's pulling you, you pass a water fountain
"Can I at least get a drink?"
>she stops and tosses the idea around in her head
>"Fine."
>she lets go and you take a drink from the fountain, taking as long as you can
>"Hurry up."
>in a moment of desperation, you had another brilliant idea
>you sprint down the hallway as fast as you can
>"Anon!"
>you bolt around the corner, nearly slipping. You can see it at the end of the hallway: the bathrooms
Time to pull out your inner Sanic
>"ANON, GET BACK HERE!"
>you hear footsteps rushing towards you
Gotta go fast
>"You better not!"
>you reach the door
FUCK YEAH
[YouTube] Sonic the Hedgehog-Stage (Act) Clear Theme
>you rush inside heading for one of the stalls. You hear footsteps run up to the door and come to a quick halt, followed by a loud grunt
>"Anon! What do you think you're doing?"
Maybe if I pretend I'm not here, she'll go away
>"Anon, I know you're in there!"
Come on. Shoo already
>"I'm not leaving until you get out."
Fuck. She's like a goddamn Mormon

>you are now Rarity, and you are fucking pissed
Anon, you moron. What do you think you're going to accomplish by doing this?
>you think to yourself how you're going to get him out
Bargaining? No, that won't work. Reason?
>you look back at the bathroom door thinking about Anon's rationale
Definitely no.
>you bring your hands up to your temples in frustration
>after several minutes of nearly pulling out your hair, you almost give up. That is, until you see a saving grace walking down the hallway, or two saving graces, that is: Flitter and Cloudchaser.
"Fine, Anon. You win! Be the selfish coward that you are!"
>you stomp off, making sure he heard. You finally reach Flitter and Cloudchaser, and pull them over
"Girls, do you have a few minutes? I need a big favor."


>you are now Anon again, and right now, life is pretty fucking good
Oh sweet. they've stalked up on toilet paper. And hey! They finally cleaned the vomit. With a constant source of toilet water to drink, and being able to sneak more toilet paper in here, and raid the kitchen at night to stock up for the next day, I think I should be able to hold out for...
>you hold up your hands and count on your fingers
One, two, three, four...eternity. That sounds like a good estimate
>you hear Rarity yell out to you
>"Fine, Anon. You win! Be the selfish coward that you are!"
>she marches off
Not going to get me that easy.
>being safe from your threat, and formulating a bulletproof plan, you start to relax yourself

>several minutes pass by when you hear the door open up, which is followed by giggling
Something's not right
>you look down and see long, skinny, exposed, shaven legs. You pull your legs to your chest
Something's really not right
>one of the pairs of legs enters the stall to your right, and the other tries to enter yours. A feminine voice calls out
>"Huh, the door's locked."
>another feminine voice responds
>"That's weird. I don't see anyone in there."
>not making any more fuss, the legs walk over to the next stall
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
>you quietly unlock the door, and calmly pull another Sanic
>you open the bathroom door, and dart for the other bathroom. Once you enter, you are greeted by a smug face
>"Aha! Got you!"
>Rarity grabs you by the ear
"Goddammit!"
>she drags you back out into the hallway
>"Alright, girls. You can come out now."
>you see Flitter and Cloudchaser come from the men's bathroom
>"Thank you, so much, girls. I'm indebted to you."
"Oh, that's clever. That's REAL clever, Rarity. I'll get you for that."
>"I'm sure you will, darling."
>she twists your ear
"Ow, you bitch!"

>Rarity drags you by the ear all the way to the front office. She's not taking any more chances
>"Anonymous, you have some nerve to pull that."
"Don't make me do this, Rarity."
>she stops in front of the door to the office
>"You know what? Sure, I'll let you go."
"Really?"
>"No. Now get in here."
>she opens the door, bringing you in. She lets go of you, and closes the door, positioning herself between it and you. The lady at the front desk looks up
>"Can I help you two?"
>"Yes. My friend here has come to see principal Celestia."
>"She's expecting someone. She doesn't want to be bothered otherwise."
"Whelp, Rarity. You heard her. I guess we better come back another time."
>you turn around, but Rarity puts her hand to your chest and stops you
>"No."
>she leans around
>"Yes, about that. Anon is the person she's expecting. He has information about the little 'prank' pulled this morning."
>"Oh, well go right on in, Mr. Anon."
>you give Rarity a death-glare. She only responds with a smile. You turn around, and make your way to Celestia's office
>Once inside, Celestia looks up from her paperwork at you and clasps her hands together
>"Anonymous, have a seat."
>you do as she says. You can feel your heart racing again
"I'm guessing you know why I'm here?"
>she doesn't say a word
"Okay, so me and this, uh 'friend' have been having a prank war."
>"And?"
"Well, we've been going back and forth."
>"And you decided to put a bunch of bologna and saran wrap onto my car, because?"
>and in that moment, you had another brilliant idea
"Well, that's the thing; it wasn't me."
>"Really?"
>she pulls some pictures from under her desk
>"Doesn't the person in these photos look a lot like you? I mean, is that not the same jacket you're wearing right now?"
"I know it looks like me, but it's not, and I know who it is."
>"Oh?"
>Celestia leans in towards you, and turns her head, raising her eyebrows in doubt
>"Then who?"

>you are now Rarity again
>you take a seat in the front office to wait for Anon to get done talking to the principal. Taking advantage of the time, you pull out your compact and inspect your hair
Anon, why must you make me do this to myself?
>you adjust the mirror to every angle imaginable, delicately fixing your hair so it is back in its pristine condition
>once you get everything in order, you put the compact up, and think to yourself for a moment
Was I being too hard on Anonymous? I mean, I can see why he doesn't want to do this.
No. This is for the best, Rarity. You did just fine. He brought this upon himself. It's not your fault that he is irresponsible. You did the right thing.
But then again, it was an accident. He never wanted to hurt anyone. He's going to have to pay a lot of money. It would be easy to get overwhelmed with emotions and-
>your internal debate is interrupted by the intercom with Celestia's voice speaking
>"Flash Sentry, could I see you in my office, please?"
>you can't believe your ears right now. You bring your hands up to your face
"Oh, Anonymous. Why must you do this to yourself?"

>you are Anonymous again. You have the utmost confidence in your desperation-induced plans
People would call this plan delusional, but I'm pretty "delusion" is just a construct. This plan is nearly perfect
>you start to get up out of your chair
Now if only she doesn't ask that I stay, then I'll be home free
>"And where do you think you're going?"
Dammit! How did she know?
>you hesitate for a second before you answer
"The bathroom?"
>"You're going to have to wait."
"But I really have to go."
>"Well you should have done that before you came here."
>the door opens, and you turn around. It's Flash
>"You wanted to see me, principal Celestia?"
>"Yes, have a seat."
>Flash takes the seat next to you, giving you a brief, angry, look, knowing full well that you were behind this
>"Thank you, Flash. Anon here has said that the person pulling this prank in these images is you."
>she slides the photos over to Flash. He leans over the table and examines them
>"Is this true?"
>"No. I came to school during lunch. My first class started right after it. Besides, Anon told me he pulled the prank, thinking it was my car."
Flash, man. You're killing me, here
>Celestia leans back in her chair
>"Oh, did he now?"
>you are silent. You look around the room, avoiding eye-contact with the principal
>"Well?"
>your heart is pounding louder than ever. Even if you tried coming up with an excuse, you wouldn't be able to hear yourself think. You finally crack
"Okay, fine. I did it. I did it, thinking it was Flash's car."
>"Thank you. Flash, you may leave."
>Flash gets up and leaves the office

>"So, you not only covered my car in bologna and plastic wrap, you also blamed your friend?"
"Yeah, I feel pretty crappy about that."
>"Anon, why would you do this? You're normally such a well-behaved student."
"I know, it's just..."
>you swallow your nerves again, hoping that she'll understand
"We were pulling pranks, and then I read about this one, and then I did it, and told my friends. Then they told me how it was going to strip the paint, so I freaked out, and then I found out it-"
>Celestia interrupts you
>"Did you just say that it will 'strip the paint,' as in completely strip it from my car?"
NOW YOU FUCKED UP. NOW YOU FUCKED UP. NOW YOU FUCKED UP. YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW. NOW YOU FUCKED UP
>you try to take back what you said
"I well...um...you see."
>you feel tears filling up in your eyes
>"Anon..."
>her voice is shaking from the rising anger
>"What were you thinking when you did this?"
>being overcome with guilt, you are now sobbing
"I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT IT WOULD JUST LEAVE PINK POLKA-DAW-HAW-HAWWWWTS!"
>"Where did you even read about this?"
>more sobbing
"THE INTERNET!"
>"I don't like to say this, but what the hell is wrong with you, Anon?"
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT WITH ME ANYMORE!"
>you continue crying to yourself while Celestia rubs her temples

>"Since I'm so infuriated with you right now, I want you to come back tomorrow morning so I can decide your punishment then, okay?"
>you have a hard time speaking, so you just nod
Way to go, Anon
>you get up out of your chair, and head for the door. As you reach it, you take a deep breath. That's when you get hit with yet another, brilliant idea
I bet Celestia's really pissed because she hasn't gotten the dick in such a long time
>you fix your hair, wipe your eyes, and turn towards the principal
"Hey, how about I pay for your car by-"
>"Get. Out."
"Offering my serv-"
>"NOW!"
"Right."
>in a hurry, you leave to make your way to the main office
>"Anon, what was Flash doing here? Did you try to put this all on him?"
>you just walk past her, keeping your head down
>"I can't believe you!"
Yeah, and neither can I
>"Instead of owning up to it, you keep digging yourself a deeper hole!"
>as you make it out into the hallway, you look up at her
>"Of all the things...were you crying?"
>you look upwards, and put your hands on your waist, taking deep breaths
"Me? Uh, no. Why would I cry?"
>"Then why are your eyes so red, and your cheeks so puffy?"
"Because...we did drugs together."
>Rarity responded in a tone that was a mixture of doubt, and disappointment
>"Drugs? Really, Anon?"
"Oh yeah. She's got a real problem."
>Rarity looks at you, simply waiting for you to end your charade
"Yes, I was crying."
>"It was that bad, huh?"
"Yep."
>"Come on. Let's get to class, already."
>you start walking alongside Rarity
>"So, what's your punishment, if you don't mind me asking?"
"She's so pissed, that she won't be able to think of one until tomorrow."
>"Oh my. I can't say that I feel sorry for you. You brought this on yourself."

"Yeah. I know."
>you pass the water fountain from earlier. You decide to get a drink, and wash your face. To your surprise, Rarity doesn't stop you. You finish up, and get back to walking
>"Are you going to be alright?"
"Yeah. I think so."
>"Good."
>you reach Rarity's classroom
>"Alright, Anon. I'll see you after school. Get to class."
"See you."
>as you head off, you hear her make one more remark
>"And please, don't do anything idiotic."
"You got it."
>you just keep walking
Oh, man. This sucks. I'm going to get detention for life, probably with 20 hours of community service a week. Then I have to actually pay for her car. Goddammit.
>as the thoughts of all the possible repercussions enter your mind, you're filled with dread
I'm going to be fucked for the rest of my life. Maybe there's some way I can get out of this.
>you consider possibilities. The torment that awaits you tomorrow only drives you to think harder
AHA!
>you've figured it out
How could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I go through with it in the first place? It's the only, surefire, way
>you realize how moronic all your previous attempts were. None of those even had a chance of working. Accepting responsibility? That's for faggots! Right now, you just realized your most brilliant idea yet

>you are now Rarity. Class is almost over when you see the fire department pulling up in front of the school. One of your classmates also notices
>"Hey, what's going on out there?"
>the class gathers around the windows
"Oh, Anon. What have you done this time?"
>you rush outside and notice that the firemen inflating an enormous airbag in front of the building. You try talking to one of them
"Sir, what's going on?"
>"Ma'am. I'm going to need you step back. We've got someone on top of the school, and we're trying to get him down."
>you turn to look up at the top of the school, only to see none other than the familiar, green, man
"Anon!"
>"You know this kid?"
>you keep looking up at Anon
"Yes."
>"You happen know what he's doing up there?"
"More than likely, yes."
>"Do you think you can talk him down?"
"I can certainly try, sir."
>"Well then, here."
>the fireman hands you a megaphone. You pull the trigger, and point it up at Anon
"ANON, YOU JACKASS! WHAT DO THINK YOU'RE DOING UP THERE?"
>the fireman grabs the megaphone back from you
>"That's it. I'm waiting for the negotiator to arrive."
"No. You don't understand. He doesn't really want to kill himself. He's just being an idiot."
>"Rarity."
>you turn around and see your friends approaching you
>"What's with all the commotion?"
"Oh, Applejack. Anon's on top of the roof."
>the fireman interjects
>"We're waiting for the negotiator."
>Applejack focuses in on Anon
>"Huh. Didn't think he had the guts to go through with it."
"He's not going to go through with it!"
>you look at the fireman
"Just let me have the megaphone."
>"Not so sure about that, Rarity. Looks like he'll jump at any moment."
>you grind your teeth, but talk through them
"You're not helping. APPLEJACK."

>you are now Anon, and everything is going according to plan
I should have done this in the first place. The best idea I had was the one I didn't even try
>you can see all your classmates gathered around, staring. Principal Celestia is on her knees, pleading with you
>"Anon! Don't jump! You don't have to pay for a new paint job! Come down so I can have sex with you!"
"No, Celestia! It's the only way! My life has been full of nothing, but shame. This is how I must redeem myself!"
>you throw yourself over the edge. You hear the screams of the onlookers as your body approaches the earth. That's when you hear a familiar voice
>"ANON, YOU JACKASS! WHAT DO THINK YOU'RE DOING UP THERE?"
>you snap back to reality. You're still standing on top of the school, just a few feet back from the ledge. You realize there's no big crowd, nor is Celestia begging you to have sex. There is only a handful of students, and Rarity, who is yelling mean things at you
>you take a peak out over the ledge, and get a perspective for how high you really are
Holy shit. That's going to really fucking hurt if I happen to live
>your foot slips a little
"OH GOD!"
>frankly, you had more desire to live than you had originally thought
Okay. Maybe I'm taking this too far. Maaaaybe my ideas aren't quite that brilliant
>you start to contemplate how everything you've done today has just escalated your problems, or added to them
Yep. Time to get down
>you take a couple steps back towards the ladder when you remember that way isn't viable anymore

>you are Anon during a flashback, who is still desperate to get out of his mess
>you are sitting on the edge of the roof with your foot against the top of the ladder. You give it a swift kick, watching as it falls to the ground
"Lol yolo."

>you are present Anon again
"GODDAMMIT."
>you move back to your original spot on the roof when the familiar voice calls out again
>"Anon. Jumping isn't going to fix any of this."
>you yell back
"I'm not going to jump!"
>"Good!"
>Rarity's voice becomes a little distant as she pulls away from the megaphone, but you still manage to hear her
>"I told you; he's not serious, he's just being an idiot."
"I can still hear you!"
>"Now get down from there before you hurt yourself!"
"I can't."
>"And why not?"
"I...I kicked the ladder over so I wouldn't back out."
>you hear the megaphone click on, followed by a breath, then silence. You could tell she wanted to say something, but was overwhelmed with your stupidity, because she clicked it back off before saying anything
"I'm sorry!"
>"Just stay put, darling, and wait for the firemen to come get you."

>you walk a little closer to the edge of the roof, and take a seat. You extend your legs so just your feet hang over the edge
At least the view is pretty nice.
>you sit for a few moments, waiting patiently for the fire crew to rescue you, when an unwelcome visitor shows up
>a pigeon flies up, and lands itself next to you. You toss your hand at it to shoo it away
"Come on. Go."
>waving your hand does little more than make the bird flap its wings and move back a few inches, before bravely coming back
"Come on. I said 'go' already."
>this time, you lean a little closer, and smack the bird with your hand. You hear it let out a panicked coo
"I don't have any food for you!"
>the pigeon flies towards your head, and angrily flogs you
"Ah, dick!"
>you duck your head, and flail your arms, but that doesn't seem to stop it
>you then decide to stand up, and back your way to the center of the roof while defending yourself from the bird. At least, you hoped that was the direction you were going in
>step by step, you make your way backwards until one step failed to receive the resistance of the rooftop
>you look down and realize that you have stepped off the edge, and your weight is carrying you over. As if in slow motion, you turn back to that smug, breadcrumb-eating, asshole who's probably shit on your windshield his entire faggot life, and give him your final words
"I hope a cat turns your children into play-toys!"
>with that, you feel yourself fall back, and the air rush against the back side of your body
>you close your eyes in preparation for the inevitable meeting with concrete
>you hit the ground, knocking every drop of air out of your lungs
OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD
>you realize that you're still thinking
Am I finally dead?

>you open your eyes, and see that you're staring at a blue sky. You take note that your body is slowly sinking, and the ground feels an awful lot like plastic. You hear the sound of air hissing. Eventually, you stop sinking, and hit a solid surface
>You see your friends, Rarity included, enter your view and look down towards you. You make eye-contact with Rarity
>"Are you done yet, Anonymous?"
>you sit up, and look around, and find that you fell onto a large airbag. You look back at Rarity and respond with a shaky voice
"Yeah. I think I'm done."
>with nerves still taking hold of your system, you have difficulty standing up
>"As in, really done? As in I'm-not-going-to-do-suicidal-things-to-avoid-responsibility done?"
"I just want to pay for Celestia to have her car painted, and be done with this."
>she lets out a sigh of relief
>"Finally."
>with hands trembling, your raise them up and wrap them around Rarity
"I'm just so glad to not be dead, now."
>Rarity reciprocates her gratitude for your safety by holding you tight, resting her head on your chest
>"So, what did you learn today, Anon?"
"That it would have been much easier to run away and be a hobo instead..."
>you feel Rarity's nails dig into your ribs
"AH! Itwasajoke itwasajoke itwasajoke. Ow-ow-ow-ow!"
>"Good."
>she loosens her grip, and the other girls come up to wrap their arms around you, all of them reminding you how stupid you are, but how happy they were that you're alive
>the intercom comes on with Celestia speaking over it
>"Will whoever thought climbing the school, threatening to jump off, and having the fire department arrive, was a good idea, please come by my office."
>the intercom goes off, then only a moment later, comes back on
>"And if the person I described is you, Anonymous, don't bother. I've decided your punishment: you've been expelled."

THE END
>you open your eyes, and see that you're staring at a blue sky. You take note that your body is slowly sinking, and the ground feels an awful lot like plastic. You hear the sound of air hissing. Eventually, you stop sinking, and hit a solid surface
>You see your friends, Rarity included, enter your view and look down towards you. You make eye-contact with Rarity
>"Are you done yet, Anonymous?"
>you sit up, and look around, and find that you fell onto a large airbag. You look back at Rarity and respond with a shaky voice
"Yeah. I think I'm done."
>with nerves still taking hold of your system, you have difficulty standing up
>"As in, really done? As in I'm-not-going-to-do-suicidal-things-to-avoid-responsibility done?"
"I just want to pay for Celestia to have her car painted, and be done with this."
>she lets out a sigh of relief
>"Finally."
>with hands trembling, your raise them up and wrap them around Rarity
"I'm just so glad to not be dead, now."
>Rarity reciprocates her gratitude for your safety by holding you tight, resting her head on your chest
>"So, what did you learn today, Anon?"
"That it would have been much easier to run away and be a hobo instead..."
>you feel Rarity's nails dig into your ribs
"AH! Itwasajoke itwasajoke itwasajoke. Ow-ow-ow-ow!"
>"Good."
>she loosens her grip, and the other girls come up to wrap their arms around you, all of them reminding you how stupid you are, but how happy they were that you're alive
>the intercom comes on with Celestia speaking over it
>"Will whoever thought climbing the school, threatening to jump off, and having the fire department arrive, was a good idea, please come by my office."
>the intercom goes off, then only a moment later, comes back on
>"And if the person I described is you, Anonymous, don't bother. I've decided your punishment: you've been expelled."

THE END