What scares me? Abandonment. That’s why I will never love anything ever again - and I am completely serious with you.
I mean, to the asshole who said, "It is better to have loved and lose than never to have loved at all" - you know what, jerkoff? Fuck you! (...)
You want your heart ripped out? You think you’re cool because you have a four-chambered heart? (...)
No, man... it’s just I have, when I... love... I mean, I was with somebody for a really long time. And... she’s no longer in my life. And - the depth of my love for her - was just like taking a cinder-block and dropping into the Mariana Trench. Which is the deepest part of the ocean of the coast of fucking Japan. Thirty-seven thousand feet down where they have those, like, creepy black fish - with the big teeth?
That was the depth of my fuckin’ love. (...)
And I will never ever love like that again. I cannot. A fuckin’ defense-mechanism. I just cannot. And it’s a really sad thing, because God’s gift to mankind is life. And to live is to love. I love love - I want to love. But it seems to me that I love too much; and if I base my life on someone else, when they walk outta my world, they take my world with them. And it’s... something I have a problem with. (...)
I mean, I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. I’d love to have a life-partner. But... you know, I just - I don’t think at this point in my life, I just don’t think I could handle someone walking out of my life if I loved them that much. Maybe I’m weak, I don’t know.