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- >own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
- >get lots of abused fluffy ponies
- >lots of amputees too
- >Amputee fluffies get tiny skateboards to push themselves around on
- >they crash a lot, but they're not fast, so it's okay
- >burned fluffies get fluff transplants
- >most don't make it though
- >feral fluffies get neutered and reintegrated into fluffy society
- >"smawty fwiends" get quietly removed and humanely put down before they can start trouble
- >worst are the psychologically abused fluffies
- >entire wing full of fluffies saying "wan die" every time someone walks past their cage
- >rehab by having happy fluffies give "huggies" and "pway" them till they're normal again
- >offset cost of fluffy pony rehab by selling fluffy pony brand fertilizer
- >everyone says your job is a waste of time, and you should be bashing them with a shovel
- >you don't have a shovel though
- >you have fluffy ponies to take care of
- >you own a fluffy pony vet and rehab center
- >lately, you've been getting a lot of abused fluffies
- >spring apparently makes people crazy
- >abused fluffies are making good progress and this batch is ready for adoption
- >except for one
- >he's still saying "wan die" every time you let the fluffies out to "pway"
- >time for fluffy counseling
- >take fluffy to the kennel
- >floor is still damp from that whole fluffy cannibal rebellion fiasco
- >put fluffy in "THE ROOM" to start counseling
- >"Now, fluffy, why do you want to die?"
- >"feww bad all da time," he says
- >"What about your friends? Wouldn’t they miss you if something happened?"
- >"fwuffies not fwiens, they dumb. Fwuffies go 'way aww da time, dey nevah know. aww fwiend go 'way"
- >Holy shit, this guy's miserable because he's smart
- >self awareness for fluffies rarely pays off.
- >New tactic!
- >get fluffy euthanasia tool from the wall safe
- >It's a .22 pistol
- >"Tell you what, fuzzball, you want to die, I'll do it?
- >chamber a round, and point the gun at the fluffy
- >finger off the trigger, don't want an accidet
- >"Just a thump and you're gone."
- >"weawwy?" he perks up. "yoo kiww fwuffy?"
- >"I don't want to, but if that's what makes you happy, i'll do it."
- >" kiww fwuffy!" he says, hopping up and down on the floor. "pwease kiww fwuffy!"
- >"But dead fluffies don't get spaghetti or hugs, or friends anymore."
- >he settles down, looking confused
- >"You don't get play time or anything. You just go into the incinerator and burn."
- >the fluffy seems to be thinking really hard about it
- >"no skettis if die?"
- >nope.avi
- >"no huggies? no dumb fwiends?"
- >nope.avu
- >fluffy is still thinking it over.
- >"now wan die anymowe. wan skettis and huggies and fwiends. Even if fwiends awe dumb."
- >"you sure? All I have to do is pull the trigger and you're gone."
- >"i suwe"
- >"Next time we come in here, you're getting puit down, understand. No more 'wan die' because I'll do it."
- >"no mowe wan die, i pwomise"
- >unload gun, and put it away
- >take fluffy out to join the rest of the herd
- >fluffy starts playing with friends and he seems happy
- >you smile at yet another rehabbed fluffy
- >own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
- >fluffies by the dozen show up every day, get sorted by problem
- >abandoned ones go with "new fwiends"
- >keep finding fluffies torn apart in the mornings
- >mount up some cameras to find out WTF is going on
- >reviewing security tapes
- >to many characters, not enough plot
- >heh, plot
- >finally see what's been happening
- >some of the abandoned fluffies are EATING other fluffies
- >holy shit
- >separate out cannibal fluffies, try to think of way to rehab them
- >might have to just put them down like the "smawty fwiends"
- >put cannibal fluffies into the kennels to be humanely euthanized tomorrow
- > close up for the evening
- >thenextday.jpg
- >feed fluffies, clean safe rooms
- >give amputee fluffies their skateboards, let herd out to "pway" and "give huggies" to abused fluffies
- >rehab seems to be working, huzzah
- >open up kennels
- >herd of fluffies attack!
- >biting at your ankles, screaming "kiww munster!" "eat munster!"
- >some break the skin before you shut them back into the kennel room
- >what the actual fuck
- >you look back into the room, the "smawty fwiend" is standing on a chair yelling at the cannibal fluffies
- >"kiww da munster! he pay for takin' us awaw fwom fwiends!"
- >fucking fluffy pony revolution, now what?
- >turn on sprinkler to kennel
- >fluffies start screaming, running around in a panic
- >"only wain!" the "smawty fwiend" yells. "hold nosies not dwown!"
- >make a mental note to euthanize that "smawty fwiend" immediately
- >fluffies don't drown for a change
- >shit
- >your eyes catch sight of the tool cabinet
- >open it up to find "fluffy memory reset unit," a high powered tazer wand
- >these things are kind of mean, and you don't like using them
- >all fluffies should have the chance to be rehabbed, but this is kind of an emergency
- > fluffies still haven't drowned, but the floor is soaked
- >water starts to leak underneath door
- >set off tazer in puddle
- >fluffy cannibals vibrate and fall to the ground
- >open door to fluffies in flux
- >"smawty fwiend" points a hoof at you, says "I wiww not be bwoken!"
- >crack "smawty fwiend" upside the head with the tazer
- >the hell you won't, you rebellious turd
- >turn off sprinklers, gather up fluffies so they don't drown
- >thenextday.jpg
- >kennel full of happy "pwaying" fluffies
- >no fluffies have been eaten
- >everything went better than expected
- >own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
- >business is booming, gotta hire a new fluffy tech after your last one got rabies
- >new guy works hard, loves fluffies, but he's kinda dim
- >training for human euthanasia
- >new employee sits on chair, bring in abused fluffy that "wan' die"
- >break out the silenced .22, explain four rules of gun safety
- >"I'm going to shoot him?"
- >"Only if you can't talk him out of it."
- >New tech fumbles with gun, loads a round
- >"Uh, fluffy, do you want to die?" he asks
- >"wan die. pwease kiww fluffy?"
- >"You sure about that little guy?" he asks, waving the gun around.
- >"Rule two."
- >"Sorry, man" he says, and points the gun back at fluffy
- >"I mean if you're dead, there's no skettis and no huggies."
- >sigh
- >"Don't baby talk to them."
- >"Sorry, man."
- >>"No skettis if die?" says fluffy
- >he's got a finger on the trigger and he's shaking pretty bad
- >"Get your booger hook off the bang switch!"
- >dude jumps
- >"no wan' die th..."
- >gun goes off
- >fluffy splatters against the wall
- >you own a fluffy pony vet and rehab center
- >someone brings in a fluffy that's been attacked by some kind of creature
- >he's in bad shape, and you might not be able to save him
- >put him in the fluffy care ward with the amputee fluffies so even if he does pass, he won't be alone
- >the next day
- >fluffy pony is cranky and sleepy, but otherwise healing okay
- >he eats fluffy chow, but keeps throwing up
- >the fluffy gets less fluffy over the next few days
- >he's getting mean and pulling out his fluff
- >once he starts biting to other fluffies, you put him in solitary
- >"no wan go!" he yells. "wan be with fwiends!"
- >"Friends don't bite each other, fuzz-ball."
- >fluffy bangs on cage door and starts screaming
- >"fuk yoo humman! i fukking kiww yoo!"
- >the hell?
- >"What did you just say?"
- >fluffy starts tearing out more of his fluff and smashing against the door with all his fluffy might
- >"I FUKKIN KIWW YOU!"
- >fluffy pony goes off on a tirade that would make a Tourette's patient blush
- >fluffy pony is foaming at the mouth as he smashes the sides of the carrier with his face
- >oh shit, rabid fluffy pony
- >you didn't even know they could GET rabies
- >take cage to THE ROOM
- >employee is in there, smoking weed
- >"Oh, shit, bro, didn't know you were here. I know you hate killi' them, lemme take care of that little guy for you.
- >"Don't touch him, he's got..."
- >fluffy bites idiot emplyee
- >"Dude, what the hell?"
- >He's got rabies, you idiot. Get your ass to the hospital before you die."
- >drop cage of the floor, get fluffy euthanizer from the wall safe
- >"I KIWW YOU !"
- >silenced .22 to the forehead, and the fluffy drops like a rock
- >poor little guy
- >make a mental note to fire idiot employee
- >own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
- >kennel for human euthansia is full because of the rabid fluffy pony incident
- >so many cursing little fluffies is tragically adorable
- >tragidorable?
- >worse still, you've got a "smawty fwiend" to deal with
- >toss "smawty fwiend" into THE ROOM
- >drop dish of spaghetti on the floor, spiked with cough syrup
- >the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, holy-fuck-this-will-kill-a-fluffy-in-five minutes medicine
- >"yoo gonna kiww me, hooman?"
- >"Yes, I am."
- >"why yoo hate fwuffies?"
- >"I love them, that's why I try to make them better."
- >"then why kiww smawty fwiend? i is fwuffie too."
- > "Because smarty friends think they're better than people, and that arrogance will get your herd killed."
- >"wha arrogen? no wan die"
- >"You gotta go, fuzzball. Enjoy your last meal."
- >"NO WAN DIE!" he yells, puffing up his cheeks.
- >adorable
- >"I'm really busy, so just eat the spaghetti, would you?"
- >"I KIWW YOU."
- >"Eat your damn spaghetti."
- >"smawty fwiend" knocks over the bowl, and tosses it at you
- >it flies about two feet
- >sigh
- >grab fluffy by scruff
- >"PU ME DOWN! I KIWW YOO!"
- >dump fluffy into incinerator
- >yelling will probably continue till you turn it on
- >head back out to kennel full of cursing fluffies with a big pot of spaghetti and a jug of cough syrup
- >it's gonna be a long day
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