Kiran helps Raven feel like she can ask for help

[22:48] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4Last time, Raven left to spar with Lous, which I never got contacted or asked about anything happening there, so we can assume it happened earlier or something?
01[22:49] <Artisan_Kiran> 5Seems fairly reasonable. Probably also reasonable to assume Lous would've healed her up afterward, I guess!
01[22:51] <Artisan_Kiran> 5So it's been some time since Raven and the Swordfagians have gotten back from their cross-country excursion, and Raven's had some time sparring with Lous - I am placing bets that Lous would have attritioned her out.
01[22:51] <Artisan_Kiran> 5Where would she be post-match?
[22:52] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4I don't actually know what the mansion they're at is like, but... most likely still up and training herself in whatever room is the best host for that kind of stuff.
01[22:53] <Artisan_Kiran> 5I also have no idea what any training area is like, but the mansion is pretty expansive. It should have provisioned rooms for a range of purposes. Outdoor sparring is probably simpler for people who do things like shoot fire.
[22:53] <Swad> To help you out - there's quite a large basement. That's generlaly empty of people to train on.
[22:53] <Swad> Outdooring is also doable.
[22:53] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4Likely outdoors, then. Tree punching.
[22:53] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4That's the best way to train/gather wood for crafting
01[22:54] <Artisan_Kiran> 5Damnit Raven, it's hard to be a tree in the Snowlands.
[22:54] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4It's sap is probably all frozen
[22:54] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4I'm doing it a favor
01[22:54] <Artisan_Kiran> 5Getting the circulation going
[22:54] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4Yeah, the uh
[22:54] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4Tree circulation
01[22:55] <Artisan_Kiran> 5Well, if that is the case --
06[22:56] * Artisan_Kiran approaches the area somewhat cautiously, keeping his distance and watching Raven beat the wood with mild interest.
06[22:58] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4, covering herself with her wings, constantly jabs at the tree with an occasional spark of flame. She then stands back and, gathering her breath for a moment, still looking frustrated.
01[22:58] <Artisan_Kiran> 5She isn't wearing warm clothing at all, is she?
[22:58] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4They've all got cloaks, I would suppose
[22:59] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4But not really
06[22:59] * Artisan_Kiran is wearing a thick scarf and white-grey jacket over his usual attire. There is also a hat with ear flaps.
01[23:00] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Does... punching trees help?"
06[23:01] * Artisan_Kiran speaks so his voice carries the safe distance he's left between himself and the person punching an inanimate object.
04[23:02] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4turns back around to Kiran with a small glare, turning her fists back to a normal gauntlet. "...Not that I can tell."
06[23:02] * Artisan_Kiran frowns slightly, glancing down at the gauntlets.
01[23:03] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"So why keep doing it?"
06[23:06] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4sighs a bit, hopping up and down on her feet for a moment. She glances elsewhere, not responding, before giving another strike at the tree. "I don't know what else to do. I'm pissed and I just wanna hit something."
06[23:07] * Artisan_Kiran sits down in the snow.
01[23:07] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Is it because I pointed a sword at you?"
[23:09] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Partially."
06[23:10] * Artisan_Kiran winces.
01[23:10] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Sorry."
04[23:12] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4sighs, dropping her arms and turns around to Kiran, walking towards him and leaving the tree. "But that's not even your fault - that was *justified*."
01[23:13] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"What's the rest of it?"
[23:16] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I just-... I don't know. I don't fucking know. I can't just... hit shit anymore. My Ki's still broken. Nothing up here-"
06[23:17] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4points at her forehead for a second. "I haven't heard any advice from here in a fucking while, and I can't hit straight like I used to anymore, so I'm just trying to train what I can. Does *that* make more sense?"
06[23:17] * Artisan_Kiran tilts his head, looking concerned.
01[23:17] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"What do you mean you can't hit straight?"
02[23:18] * @Itchy (Itchy@B5A4313E.30C73B5E.979B8CB6.IP) Quit (Quit: Leaving)
06[23:18] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4walks back over to the tree and raises her fists up again. Swad , hit me with the Ki table, spending for an extra hit on a flurry.
[23:19] <Swad> Well, I'd need a rollbot.
[23:19] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4Random.org or Roll20?
[23:20] <Swad> Let me cehck
06[23:23] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4throws a flurry of punches - but after the second to last punch, she suddenly gasps and holds her head, her footing wavering as the last punch goes wide and glances the tree.
06[23:25] * Artisan_Kiran hops up to his feet and walks toward her.
01[23:25] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Raven, what just happened?"
06[23:26] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4swallows, grimacing. "I tried using my Ki and my head split."
01[23:27] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Then... you probably shouldn't do that. You didn't need to demonstrate that it can hurt you - you could've just-"
06[23:27] * Artisan_Kiran lowers the hand he had halfway to Raven's shoulder, looking even more concerned.
01[23:27] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Come sit down. Talk me through it."
06[23:28] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4trembles a bit, her hands shaking, before she simply tosses her gauntlets off into the snow and stands upright.
[23:29] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Fine. Fine, we'll just... sit somewhere."
01[23:29] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Did you know snow is a good insulator? Your butt'll stay warm if we sit down in it!"
04[23:31] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4looks back at Kiran with a bit of a glare and a dumb smirk, a bit of an 'Are you serious?' scoff. She turns around and sits in the snow, back against the tree.
06[23:31] * Artisan_Kiran punctuates his point by crumpling his legs beneath him and dropping into a cross-legged seated position.
01[23:31] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Yep!"
01[23:31] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"It's why igloos can keep the heat inside so well."
06[23:32] * Artisan_Kiran watches Raven sit down, smile faltering a little.
06[23:33] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4wraps her wings around herself. "...That's... neat. I... always assumed they'd be cold."
01[23:34] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Yeah. Engineering is pretty cool."
06[23:34] * Artisan_Kiran brushes the disturbed snow next to him smooth again.
01[23:35] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"So is the missing your hits thing related to your ki?"
06[23:35] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4frowns a bit, before nodding. "...I explained that already, didn't I? Yeah."
[23:36] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Ever since I wandered off alone and started hearing that voice, it's hurt to try and use it. So..."
06[23:36] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4kinda weakly shrugs. "...just haven't. Less of a bother that way."
01[23:37] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"This sounds serious. Isn't your ki like... some kind of bodily life energy? I still don't understand it too well."
[23:39] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Yeah. That's... about as much as I know about it. I-... I thought I knew how to use it better, but..."
06[23:40] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4shakes her head, crossing her arms and pouting again. "According to that so-much-smarter voice in my head it's not even *called* Ki, so who knows what the fuck I know, then."
01[23:42] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"The Kriendyh also called us abominations. I would be less concerned about the name and more concerned about your own life energy hurting you. If it comes from you, then that's... something from you shouldn't hurt you. That sounds like - like you're ill."
06[23:42] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4purses her lips, looking even more frustrated. Her wings wrap tighter and her arms cross.
01[23:45] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"How did you use your ki in the past? Or... gather it? I don't know if you have a limited amount you have to work up or prepare like spells, or..."
[23:47] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I- I... I just *do*. It's life force. It's... you have to kind of tap into it and train it, teach it to grow, and... and that's what I've been doing all my life, trying to do that, and..."
01[23:49] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I can't even begin to tell you how out of my element I am here. But I can try to help."
06[23:50] * Artisan_Kiran rearranges his legs to sit straighter.
06[23:50] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4rubs her hair back. "...now it's still *there*, but when I, like... use it, it breaks. A-and... I don't know. I don't... I don't know anybody who can teach me, all I can think of is... dad, or my brother, and I just..."
[23:51] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I obviously can't talk to them, and I wouldn't fucking *want* to. Then they'd be right."
01[23:52] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I- okay. I'm also not really equipped for that. But... what's wrong with them being right?"
06[23:54] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4stands up again. "I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be a fighter. My dad's the- he's daitengu. Like... a fucking... mountain patriarch. And... I just wanted to follow in his footsteps, a while ago."
01[23:55] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"You do an awfully good job at it, for someone who's not meant to be a fighter."
[23:55] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"He wanted my brother to train to become daitengu. Even though he's a lazy sack of shit who's never practiced an *ounce* like I have in his goddamn life."
[23:56] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I gave up on that. A while ago. I left, saw the world, saw shit *so* much bigger than that little fucking mountain than any of them have ever fucking imagined."
[23:57] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I don't train or grow stronger just to become a fucking leader of hermits, I fight to protect people I *actually* care for. People like...-"
04[23:57] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4weakly lifts her hand towards Kiran. "People like you. Or... or Lous, or Sandra, or Blake."
06[23:58] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4shivers a bit, crossing her arms and trembling again. Her wings tighten again.
Session Time: Tue Jun 05 00:00:01 2018
06[00:00] * Artisan_Kiran frowns and starts rooting around in his little satchel, retrieving a small stone.
06[00:01] * Artisan_Kiran casts around slightly, then shrugs and bashes it against the flat of his clenched metal finger.
06[00:02] * Artisan_Kiran tosses it between the two of them, as it begins giving off comfortable heat.
01[00:02] <Artisan_Kiran> 5The snow around it likely begins to melt slightly.
[00:02] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...and- do you remember Pelican?"
01[00:02] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"The- the guy with the plane?"
06[00:03] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4nods. "Yeah."
01[00:03] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I mean. Sure. What about him?"
[00:04] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...i- I cared for him too. I tried talking to him and telling him that, and it was just... blegh. Garbage. I fucked it up."
06[00:04] * Artisan_Kiran nods.
01[00:04] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"It's okay. I'm bad at people too."
01[00:05] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"We all know you care about us. It's not something that I've ever really doubted."
01[00:06] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Maybe you should be caring more about yourself? You seem to be treating yourself like a shield, or a hammer, and not taking the time to make sure you're okay."
06[00:06] * Artisan_Kiran holds his hands out toward the heatstone.
[00:06] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I *do*. You guys are kind of all I have now. Apart from the Faceless, I just... kind of focused on people I care about."
06[00:07] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4sits down. "So... Pelican doesn't matter, anyways, because Pelican... he's been gone for a long time and fuck if I know if I'll ever see him again."
01[00:08] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Were you guys close?"
[00:08] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Not as much as I'd have liked... but..."
06[00:09] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4sighs again. "I spoke to Reveno again earlier. I- tried talking to him. You know how long he's been at this for?"
06[00:09] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4trembles again talking about Reveno.
06[00:10] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4is still trembling around the heatstone.
01[00:10] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"A long while."
01[00:11] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"What happened when you spoke?"
06[00:11] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4nods. "Y-yeah. And... I... he's been at this for *years* more than I have, and... I thought he could give me advice on dealing with this, and we just kinda..."
[00:13] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...all we really did was spar and he kicked my ass. I thought it could've started a conversation, but I didn't even get to ask anything good, because... I don't really *know* how to talk. I don't really make friends. I-... I don't know how to ask for help."
[00:14] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I *am* sick, I can't fucking fight like I used to, and- and everyone I try talk to is either *gone*... gone or *dead*... and- all I want to do is protect people and I can't."
01[00:15] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"We have time before the operation. I know Blake was investigating ki, and he spoke to Libra about it. Maybe he'll be able to help?"
01[00:15] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Hopefully we'll be able to meet up with Reine or something. He could help too."
06[00:16] * Artisan_Kiran twists his mouth slightly.
01[00:19] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Reveno can be flippant sometimes, but he can be open too. Maybe he wasn't in the right headspace for it when you sparred. We'd just gotten the Nevian prisoners out, right? Maybe that was weighing on his mind."
04[00:20] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4wipes her eyes with the bandages on her fists, smiling a bit. "Kiran... you're great. I-I'm not *supposed* to be asking for help here. I- I'm sup-... I'm...these stupid fucking things, I'm supposed to be taking these off."
01[00:20] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Why?"
[00:22] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"These are training bandages. I've had these same wraps since I was a kid. I-... I'm supposed to be *better* now. I'm not... I shouldn't be here, *still* wearing these, when I'm fighting armies, warlords, beings of... *fear* and ruin."
06[00:23] * Artisan_Kiran frowns and tilts his head again.
01[00:24] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I don't know if this is a stupid question, but when exactly do you think you're meant to stop learning?"
06[00:24] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4chuckles a bit.  "...never, really. I mean... look at me, right?"
06[00:25] * Artisan_Kiran gestures to Raven's hands.
01[00:25] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"So take them as a lesson in- in humility. A reminder that you can't possibly know everything. Like some kind of a reminder that you'll always have more to learn or aspire to."
01[00:26] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Or a reminder that even if your dad's a dick or whatever, that you still came from somewhere."
04[00:26] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Yeah. I... don't think I'll have a problem with that, Kiran."
06[00:26] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4frowns again, wings around herself.
06[00:26] * Artisan_Kiran shrugs.
01[00:27] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I hope I never know everything."
01[00:27] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"It'd be awfully boring if I did."
[00:27] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"But you're smarter than me."
[00:27] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"You already know way more than I could hope to."
01[00:28] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"There's different kinds of smart."
01[00:29] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Like. No matter how hard I try, I'll never really understand how to do psionic stuff. Like we talked about that one time, I still have to think about every move I make in a fight. It comes naturally to you."
[00:30] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I'm not even worried about being smart. I just want to *know*."
01[00:31] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Then start looking, I guess. Ask questions, then ask questions about those questions."
01[00:31] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Talk to Blake or Reine. Or ask Adalet if he has any books in the library that might help."
06[00:31] * Artisan_Kiran nods sagely.
01[00:31] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Books are always a good place to start."
[00:33] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...then they'd just be right, wouldn't they? My dad would just be right. I'd be weak. If... I just getting other people to prop me up, I'm not... It's not my body and mind."
01[00:34] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I mean. Sure, it's not your individual strength. But that's kind of stupid."
01[00:35] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I didn't invent metallurgy myself, and I didn't discover the correct runic configurations to cause a sword to be an animate fighter, but I learned them. That's not me, that's the strengths of people way way way back."
01[00:35] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"And I figure your fighting style isn't something you invented. I bet your dad didn't invent it either."
06[00:36] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4opens her mouth to say something, but doesn't.
06[00:36] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4just... thinks on that for a moment.
01[00:36] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"So if he thinks that relying on things other people did makes you weak, he's not right. He's an idiot."
01[00:36] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"It makes us much, much stronger."
04[00:37] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4flaps her wings again, before looking up at Kiran with a bit of a smile.
[00:37] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...like a leader without a flock to lead. Or king without a kingdom."
01[00:38] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Yeah. Something like that."
[00:38] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"He's strong *because* of other people, but... without that, he'd be nothing."
06[00:38] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4stands up again.
06[00:39] * Artisan_Kiran looks up at her.
[00:39] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...shit. Look at me, dude. I'm... stressing out over what somebody thinks of me when I haven't seen them in *years*."
[00:40] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"What fucking problem is it to my dad what I do? I *left*."
01[00:41] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"So what are you going to do, then?"
06[00:42] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4gives a sigh, rubbing her head, and gives a bit of a smile. "...I'm gonna ask for help."
01[00:42] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Good."
04[00:43] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"Kiran, get your dumb ass up here."
06[00:43] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4opens her wings up.
06[00:43] * Artisan_Kiran attempts to get up, and lets out a pained groan - slowly staggering up.
01[00:44] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I'm warm, but my ass fell asleep like ten minutes ago."
06[00:44] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4reaches at his hand and pulls him up, briskly taking him into a tight, squeezing hug, her wings wrapping around both of them.
01[00:44] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Hn-!"
06[00:44] * Artisan_Kiran relaxes and returns it.
[00:45] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"First off... I'm gonna need help talking, too, you know. I fucked it up twice now."
01[00:45] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"What do you mean?"
06[00:46] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4squeezes them again. "The last times I tried asking for help, dumbass! I fucked up asking Pelican *and* Reveno. You're basically the person I talk to the most, even compared to Blake."
[00:47] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"So I'm... *clearly* a fucking idiot with my words, so maybe if you're around or something, just... help me out a little, yeah?"
[00:47] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"I'm gonna ask Blake and even Reine for help, but I don't wanna come across like a moron."
[00:47] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"And you know what I'm going through here, so..."
01[00:48] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Oh, like training wheels!"
06[00:48] * Artisan_Kiran grins for a moment, then frowns.
01[00:49] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Wow, you must really have fucked it up if *I'm* going to be helping you talk to people."
06[00:49] * Artisan_Kiran shrugs.
01[00:49] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Okay. I'll help!"
06[00:49] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4scoffs and laughs, smacking his back a bit. "Oh, my god, shut up."
01[00:50] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Okay, okay."
01[00:51] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"And yeah. We all give a shit about you, Raven. So. You can always ask us for help."
[00:53] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...Likewise, man. I'm even *worse* with it than you are, but if I'm here to help you guys, same goes for you."
06[00:54] * Artisan_Kiran nods.
01[00:54] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I came out here thinking I could join you sparring, but... kind of feels like it might kill the mood now, you know?"
06[00:55] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4tilts her head, before nodding.
06[00:55] * Artisan_Kiran leans down to pick up the heatstone.
01[00:56] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Want to come inside?"
[00:56] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"We've got better things to fight for, anyways."
06[00:56] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4nods. "Sure."
06[00:56] * Artisan_Kiran shrugs.
01[00:56] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"I kind of wanted to see what you'd be like trying all-out to kick my ass."
[00:57] <~Pugilist_Raven> 4"...well, we'll have to wait until I can go all out again."
01[00:57] <Artisan_Kiran> 5"Soon!"
06[00:57] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4frowns for a bit, but returns it to a soft smile. "I'll hold you to it, though."
06[00:57] * Artisan_Kiran stretches, and begins walking toward the mansion.
06[00:58] * ~Pugilist_Raven 4flaps her wings again, and starts to walk back. "Thanks."