Thread 39: Stories 76-90

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>Actarius
"???"
'JJ'
~~~~

>I'm telling you, I didn't think our singing was that bad!

'I heard cricket. CRICKETS. How the heck would crickets even get up here!?'

>Maybe it was the song? I heard bad things about that game.

'I feel like we're in denial.'

>Nahhh, we can't be! We are totally, 100 percent not in denial about anything.

'Well, you do sound confident...'

"ACTARIUS!"

They both froze, heads slowly turning back down the hallway. At the other end, a stern look on her face, was a certain princess. One Actarius had planned to talk to later.

"Ah' need ta' talk ta' ya', now. Alone."

But it seemed this was not in the cards.

Nervously, he tapped on JJ's shoulder, pointing him towards their room.

>H-heh, official business. Guess a guard is never really off duty, eh?

From the look in his eyes, he didn't buy it for a second. But he relented, and walked away.

With a jerk of her head, she directed the soldier into her empty room, and shut the door behind him.

>No room mate?

"Ah' asked her ta' take a walk so Ah' could talk ta' ya'll in private."

>I didn't want to bother you on your vacation...

She just grunted, stepping over to the desk the hotel supplied, and pulling up a chair. She just couldn't escape this, it seemed.

"Yeah, well, Ah've been bothered since ya' said that stuff, and Ain't no way Ah'm gonna have a fun time tomorrow iffin' ya' don't get it out right now. So Ah' hope ya' thought long and hard bout what ya' wanted ta say."

He sighed, reaching into one of his shoes, and pulling out a piece of paper.

>Yeah... didn't take much thinking, I'm afraid.

A magical grip grabbed it, and pulled it over.

~Letter of resignation.~

Of course.

"Normally, Ah'd just nod, sign this little line right here, and send ya' on yer way. But on account o' the mess surroundin' this here resignation, Ah' think Ah'd be prudent ta' ask yer reasonin'."

He stiffened, looking away in a shame.

>I... there's really nothing to say, your highness. I acted inappropriately for my rank and position. My actions today could have had a serious backlash, and it was only through sheer luck something worse did not occur. I was foolish, stupid, and rash. I was everything a guard of Equestria should not be, and I cannot possibly retain my position in the knowledge that such a thing happened. I am sorry for bringing shame to my nation, and am resigning in hopes of preventing this from happening again.

She just took a long, annoyed breath.

"Ah' can read the gal danged paper, ya' idjit, that's not what Ah' asked. What, specifically, happened?"

Under her hard, unforgiving gaze, he couldn't look at her any longer.

"Were ya' threatened?"

>...what?

"Did she order ya' to do this? Is she blackmailin' you?"

His eyes went wide with shock.

>N-no, majesty! I'm doing this of my own free will, I assure you.

She got up, trotting right up into his face and staring hard into what felt like his very soul.

"What. Happened."

>...right after she took JJ, I panicked. You all ran off to go find her, but I deduced she would still be nearby, and put together that she was up on the roof of the sound stage, next to the fire.

He ignored her shocked look, obviously even she didn't know that part, and continued.

>After I got up there, I saw her... doing something to him. She was using her magic and...

His eyes cast downward, no longer in shame, but in something else.

>It looked like she was killing him.

He took a moment to steel himself, and looked back into her eyes.

>So I attacked her.

Applejack shifted back, as if shoved by some invisible hoof.

>I was completely outclassed, obviously, but I had to try, Princess. I threw everything I had at her.

A long, bitter smile crossed his face.

>She uh... she thought I was the dumbest thing ever, you know. But it turns out she was just getting that stuff out of him, she was just helping him. I attacked her without any thought or reasoning. I should have gotten you when I deduced where she was. I should have asked her what she was doing before throwing a pipe at her head, I should have done a lot of things. But I didn't. I didn't act like a soldier, and I should have. I'm sorry, your highness. I'm sorry, and I will not fail you anymore.

They sat there in silence for a long, long time.

Until her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Why ain't ya' dead?"

>...I... what?

"Why are ya'll not dead. Ya' said ya' attacked her."

>I did.

"Completely unprovoked."

>I hit her in the back of the head with a pipe before she knew I was there.

"And she had you."

>Couldn't have outrun her...

"...And she let ya' live. No blackmail, no threats, no nothing."

>Actually? Totally let me off the hook. I know, as if I couldn't get anymore shamed here, but I attacked a foreign dignitary and she just said... I was free to go. No charges, no asking for resignation, no nothing. Just let me go...

The suspicion only increased.

>She said... heh... she said 'I suppose it would look bad if the one time you guards helped my guys you got fired' or something. I think she was just relieved JJ was okay, and didn't want to say it.

The suspicion only grew, but...

"Ain't yer friends in the guard gonna miss ya'?"

That smile just grew a bit more bitter.

>I uh... don't think that's an issue.

"Ah' see... not exactly the star player?"

>...

"Got it."

She sighed tiredly, returning to her desk.

"Ah' should arrest ya'. Iffin' she had been in the mood ta' press charges, Ah' would've court martial'd ya', and it wouldn'ta ended pretty. As a princess, Ah've gotta say that was the dumbest, most insane thing Ah've seen in a while, and ya' should be ashamed."

His eyes went down. Oh, he was...

"...But just me personally, Ah've gotta say what you did is the most guard like thing Ah've seen since Ah' got here. It might be sad ta' say, but Ah' ain't seen more loyalty to the spirit of what ya' stand for in every major event that's happened. Ya' put yerself on the line ta' protect someone. Ya' didn't care that ya' were outclassed, and ya' didn't care that ya' were gonna suffer for it, cause in the end all that mattered was savin' someone's life. It didn't matter he weren't even the same species as you, all that mattered was he was innocent, he was in trouble, and ya' had ta' act. That's the core of what a guard should be. It ain't about the armor, or the rank, it's about helpin'. And ya' did just that."

With a long, regretful look, she picked up the pen.

"But Ah' can't look at this like that, Ah' guess."

And signed the paper.

"Gotta look at this as a princess. And as a princess, ah' can't let it slide."

He nodded, breath coming in a little harder.

>I understand completely.

"Glad ya' do."

With that, she filed the letter away.

>Princess, I know it is not my place, but if I may have a request?

"Can't promise Ah'll grant it, but shoot."

>...Don't tell anyone why I'm...

She looked back, a curious eyebrow going up.

>I... the rest of the guard already make fun of me for hanging out with him, I don't want them to feel justified for keeping on treating them like that. They're not monsters... I know they're not. JJ's... he's got a lot going for him, so much life and a desire to make others happy. It's not fair... so don't make it worse for them. I know you don't really deal with them, but for me-

"DON'T DEAL WITH THEM!?"

Annoyed, she kicked the chair over and got back up, getting right back up in Actarius's face.

"Where did ya'll get that idea!? Ah' don't do nothin' BUT deal with those critters!"

>...No you don't?

"WHAT!?"

>Majesty, not to step out of line here, but you don't. You don't talk to them, or help them find jobs, or even reprimand the guard for harassing them. Those guys do it all the time, and nobody even gets a letter, much less punished. Heck, they used to set that one guy on fire, and none of us got sent to deal with that. You didn't even help them get into the Equestrian Games, some other country entirely had to step in. I mean, aside from chastise them and make their queen pay for their damages... what do you do with them?

"AH'.....I... I uh..."

Her eyes slowly grew wide, darting around the room as her mind raced.

"I uh... well, Ah' asked 77 ta' help train the guard..."

>...

"And... and Ah'... Ah'm always filin' paperwork fer somethin' they did. Or makin' 18 do it, Ah' guess... OH! Ah' put 42 and 77 on the A-team!"

>That... isn't really helping their image of being more than war like monsters...

"Well... Ah' don't know what ya' want! Chrysalis says it's HER hive, right? So she's gotta deal with them!"

>Well, of course she should, but I meant for you-

"So what's the problem!?"

>...

It was finally Applejack's turn to look away.

"It's her hive..."

>Of course, your highness, and I am sorry I upset you. I'll take my leave now, you take care.

"...Actarius?"

He paused just before the door.

>Yes, Majesty?

"...Come see me after we get home, there's somethin' Ah' need ta' discuss with ya' further."

>...Of course, Princess.

With a bow, he left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Alone, Applejack slumped back slightly, running a hoof under her hat and through her mane.

…

Being a princess sucked sometimes.

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>SA
"Cadence"
'???'
^???^
[???]
~~~~~~

"So, what do you suppose that was all about?"

>I think, do not quote me on this, I THINK that she was trying to take my advice.

"Oh?"

>Yes. However, she failed to internalize at least part of that conversation, or she would have realized her plan would have been immensely helped by bringing at least one of us in on it.

"..."

>Yeah, I think that's her running theme. Her plans sound good on paper and work out great most of the time, they just fall apart at some point because she's... well, she thinks like Chrysalis does.

"Uh huh..."

>Soooo... we probably need to have a bit of discussion about the... earlier incident.

"No we don't."

>...We do.

"Don't."

>Doooo.

"We do not need to talk about it. It happened, I'm not going to do it again, let's just forget all about it."

>I feel like there's a bigger discussion here.

"There isn't."

>Honey, I'm being serious.

"So am I. We are not. Talking. About. It."

>... so, that is how you're going to be?

"Yes. End. Of. Story."

He opened the door to the hotel room they had been walking towards, a completely expected sight greeting him.

'MANEY PUT THAT DOWN!'

*CRASH!*

[AHAHHAHAH! FOOOOOLISH GRIPPOR! I SHALL USE MY MIGHT, AND WE SHALL CLEAN ALLLLLL OF THE MARCHMALLEYS AHAHAHAHAH!]

^Ya' ain't sposed ta' use a knife!^

[But Grippor, how else will I be a... CUT above the rest?]

"...it's everywhere..."

'SHINY HELP!'

>Oh, I'm afraid I will be unavailable to help.

'WHAT!?'

>And so will you.

"...Wait, wha-"

*SHOVE!*

"HEY!"

>You guys have fun with Caddy for a little bit! Me and 18 have something we need to do.

'Wha-...WHEE!'

^Hey! I wanna telekewhasees fly!^

>You heard her, Caddy.

"SHINY DON'T YOU DARE-"

*SLAM!*

>...I believe I owe you a ride.

'Will it even be open at this hour?'

>Do you care?

'...Nope'

They left, leaving behind screams of terror.

"NOT IN MY HAIIIIIR!"

They didn't feel bad.
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>SA
“18”
~~~~~~

>You don't have to be disguised.

“Actually, I do. This is a public place, particularly one where families would like to take pictures of children in. As such, a stray picture could lead to a nice paycheck for them, and a headache for me. You walking into a tunnel of love in the middle of the night with someone who is not your wife is called 'scandal', walking into it with said wife is called 'well duh'.”

He rolled his eyes, but said nothing more on the matter. In silence, they climbed into the ride, and were gently pushed forward.

It was more than a little awkward as they sat there, both stock still, neither moving or even glancing at the other. Nervously, Shining Armor waited, wondering just what it was she was planning to do...

At last, the light from the mouth of the cave they had been pushed into was gone, and they were consumed in the darkness of the tunnel, only twinkling stars and loving red colors splashed about. A soft melody filled the air, soothing, slow, easy...

That's when he finally felt her soft cheek press to his shoulder.

>Finally, you were starting to worry-

“Shhhh, shhh... let me... let me have this...”

He felt her snuggle in just a little deeper.

“Let me pretend, if things were different... I could've been her...”

He felt a sudden weight pressing into his chest. So much he wished to tell her that this is not who she had to be. So much he wanted her to know that she was fine just as she was. Better than fine, even. She did not need to be, or should be, anyone else... but she did not want to hear that, he knew. She just wanted to pretend, just for a bit. How could he deny her that?

So he just sat there, letting her curl into him, not needing to look down to know she still looked like Cadence. Not needing to look to know she was smiling, but not a real smile. A forced, fake one. He didn't need to see her to know she wasn't really happy.

>Take off your disguise.

He felt her go stiff, a slight noise coming from her lips. Slowly, her head left his shoulder, and the flames consumed her once more, revealing black chitinous skin where had once been pink fur.

Her disappointed face looked away, no longer even that fake smile remained. Nothing but a frown, a telling one.

“I understand.”

So wrapped up in her own thoughts, she barely even had time to register when his hoof snaked around her, and returned her to his shoulder.

>This wouldn't have changed anything.

He felt her go stock still beside him, stiff as a board against his trained muscles.

But she did not stay that way. He felt the sprinkles of water first, and then gradually her body relaxing, as if she was literally melting away beside him. She made a few pitiful noises, and then settled into him, finally breathing a shaking sigh of what could only be described as 'happiness', as much of an understatement as that term felt.

“Only with you.”

Now it was his turn to frown.

>There's a big world out there.

She smiled, honestly smiled, and just pressed tighter.

“I know, I've seen a lot of it. So... so much of it. I've seen rivers that are as wide as countries, I've seen the tops of frozen mountains so high you can't breath right, I've seen towns, cities, fortresses and castles. I've even seen the sun set over the sea a couple times. I've seen a lot of the world, Shiny.”

A wistful breath left her as her chin hooked into his neck.

“And the whole time, I was never happy. Never once. Never did a single wonder of the world move me. Never did I feel anything but resentment and annoyance. Never did I dream I would even manage to find the briefest moments of real happiness before some tragedy struck, and I finally left this terrible world, forgotten as just another drone. I was never happy, ever.”

>And are you happy now? Really?

She laughed at him.

She just laughed as if he had asked her what color the sky was or if you could see a teardrop within the ocean.

“Maybe someday... maybe someday I'll be able to tell you how much.”

>I... Eighteen, I know how you feel about me, you don't hide it very much.

“Mmmmm... no...”

More wetness joined it's brethren on his white coat.

“No you don't... and that's okay.”

He had no time to ask what she meant.

“Because even if you don't know up here...”

A gentle hoof tapped the side if his head, before slowly moving to his chest.

“I know you know in here. And that's all I'll ever need.”

He shook his head as she gently rubbed right over his heart, unsure.

>But will you really be happy?

She giggled, almost giddy.

“Can I stay at the Empire? Forever and ever?"

>Of course, I'd never dream of making you leave. Never.

“Then yes.”

She sounded so completely, utterly sure. Not a single hint of doubt or questioning.

He felt he should press the issue.

But didn't.

For there was no time.

All too soon, the ride was coming to an end.

“If anyone asks...”

He felt the prickles of her flames touch his side, and he was once again next to the facsimile of his wife. In seconds, the circulation to his foreleg was cut off by a tight grip.

“I just squealed like a teenager and made offers to do stuff in there.”

>You don't have to-

“Nope, totally do. Let me just... have this. This one time when everything, everything, was perfect. Just between you, and me.”

He couldn't help but feel a little bad for her, but nonetheless conceded.

>What do I tell them you said?

“What, are you kidding? I've been giving you material for months, just drag it up from the old memory pool.”

>Don't want to imply you're reusing material.

“Meh, just say it's 'classics', and I did it for nostalgia's sake.”

>If you say so.

Almost at the end now, he could even feel the air wafting in from outside. Just time to bring her in close for one last, final embrace.

>...I hope you really are happy, Eighteen. I know this might not sound like much coming from me, considering how much you do for me, but I really, truly do hope you're happy. You deserve it, I don't care what anyone said or what you told yourself. You deserve to be happy.

At last, the dim light of the moon touched their little boat, and the ride nearly drew to a close.

>You deserve it.

And that's when Eighteen received her very first kiss from him.

It was just a chaste, gentle kiss on her forehead, but...

It was enough.

She could feel it, even if he didn't realize it.

She could feel what was there, in that kiss.

And it was enough.

For just once, just once in her life...

Everything was perfect.
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>Celestia
"Vekir"
'Rekulk'
-Grehm-

>...

-Continue searching.-

'This is causing much infuriation!'

"Oh where oh where did the little key go, oh where oh where could it beee~?"

>Excuse me.

'Aha! Sun Princess, you come by us at a very good time. Assist us if you can!'

>Assist you with...feeling up the King and Queen of the Gryphons?

-It is not what it appears.-

"We are searching for the key to their room!"

'So we can put them to bed.'

-They drank too much of the sweet water.-

>Oh yeah, always getting sloshed these two, since they were of age-which for gryphons is like twelve.

-I did not partake.-

>Good boy, stick to wholesome addictions, like cake. I'll just be on my way.

"Wait! Silessia Princess-"

>Note to self, hire an elocution tutor.

"-is there no way you can help us?"

>...yeah sure.

Click.

"'-...-'"

>Must have left the door unlocked in the rush to scam you out of your gems.

-...I am ashamed.-

'We...did not consider.'

"Hurray for the Princess' mighty widsom!"

>You three have a nice night now-and remember you have a room now, no sleeping in the ice chest.

The trio of very firm nods was almost adorable. Almost. Celestia walked away.

>Nice people. Mother help us all if they ever get a Princess.

NC ADDITION

>>Nice people. Mother help us all if they ever get a Princess.

"AH HAH! I AM PRINCESS VEKIR NOW! We will be spending muchly time together!"

>...SUN! I CALL UPON YOU, CLEANSE THIS WORRRRLLLLD~!
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>Chitania
~~~~

>Another day gone...

At this point, she was seriously starting to wonder what she was doing.

Oh sure, she knew the base thing. She wanted to relax, she wanted to recharge in a place filled with lots of love she could sap, and she wanted some popcorn. But on the whole...

The fight with the purple one had pissed her off, the loss of her journal had been a travesty, and now here she was, in a hotel, no closer to reaching her ultimate goal then when she first left that volcano. No headway whatsoever.

So... what was there to do?

>Maybe I should be more direct...

Another assault on that city seemed feasible, but to what end? She had no use for a hive, it's doubtful the false gods were particularly susceptible to torture, and she was terrible at that regardless. MAYBE if Sciderella had been around, she could have cashed in a favor, but she was long gone. They were all long gone.

...They were all long gone.

>Huh...

She had not really thought about it, she realized, but they were all gone. They were ALL gone. Satrunia, Arictidaee, Geeridia, Annelidia...

It didn't bother her, of course. The life of a Queen is to know that the ones you care about will die, likely by your own fangs, and that someday if you grant your love to another you will meet your end, but still... it was odd to say it out loud.

>...Heh, guess all of that work was for nothing, right?

Even as she said it, it felt wrong.

They were all gone, even...

>Sister...

Even at the thought of that face, she snarled. If any in this, or any other world still brought her hottest rage, it is that one. Only Varilous had made her more furious. And even then... not by much.

>Perhaps I should go enact some secondary revenge?

...Who the fuck was she kidding? She wasn't some supervillain from those stupid comics, she had plans, places to be.

Still... how was she going to get there...

>...I'll figure it out.

She draped the covers over herself, and closed her eyes.

>What's the alternative...
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>13
"55"
~~~~~

>Okay, let's go over this again. Where are you, right now?

"In my room!"

>Specifically.

"...Bedroom?"

>No, incorrect, you are in the CLOSET. The bedroom is out here, with the BEDS.

"But... the blanket is in here!"

>Those are the towels. You are wrapping yourself in towels. There are real blankets, here, on the bed.

"..."

>...You like that place better, don't you?

"It reminds me of home!"

>...Her majesty seriously needs to get on that...

"Oh hey, sports drinks!"

>NO DON'T THAT'S SHAMPOO DON'T DON'T-
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NC

Hey, I got a question.

Where the hell is Sombra

--

>Hey, guys, we did remember to tell someone to feed Sombra, right?

*They get home.*

*There's just a skeleton and a dented, unopened friskies can.*

>...

"...The fuck does that work?"

--

"No, really... He's a skeleton but it's only been two days"

*Everyone else just shrugs*

>Meh

--

'Ah! That's where I left it!'

"Oh, god! You're alive! I mean, thank god you're alive!"

>Well, for a given definition. So what's with the skeleton?

'Oh, that... Uhhh...'

"Sombra, is there something you want to admit? Like what you HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE?"

'Uhhh...'

>Look him in the eye, sombra...

'Alright, I mayhavegottensidetrackedwithmyquesttoreturntothelivinganddelvedbackintoabitofnecromancy!

"... See? Don't you feel better to just admit it?"
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~~~
Pain...

My world was pain.

I don't know what I had done to deserve this sentence, but I know it was worse than even the punishments of Sombra.

With a feat of willpower, I pull myself up from where I lay, covered in cuts ranging from deep to shallow and find the office in ruins. Desks were overturned, chairs were smashed to pieces, blood stains everywhere, and a fire was starting to break out. Even with my personal suffering, I think of the Empire I have sworn to serve and first limp towards the fire extinguisher.

A groan catches my attention and I see my friend Lapis Lazuli, bleeding out.

I call for her.

"Jasper?" She wearily looks up and smiles at me, I reassure her its me and rush over to the first aid station. "No..." She tries to protest. "It's too late for me... You have to stop... It..."

"Don't be stupid, i'm not doing this without you." I retort while rapidly dressing her wounds. She continues to try to shake me off, but she exaggerates her own weakness to my advantage, and soon, she's stable and the bleeding would stop soon.

I quickly deal with the fire and then return to my friend whose pulling herself to her hooves with a grunt. "I knew you were being melodramatic, you big filly." I taunt her.

"C'mon, I almost had sleep for the first time in days."

"Rest is for the dead, we need to get armed."

"The guard station's down the hall."

We take to the main halls of the palace, our steps reverberating too much for our liking, they reminded us of how empty this palace was now because of it. Then, we saw it, or rather a herald.

A single piece of fluttering paper, scrawled on in black tongues.

our hearts stop and we stare at it

And it stares right back.

Without warning, it retreats on a breeze and nothing we can do stops its. "No no no no no!" Lapis and I recite in mantra as it flies out the windows where a steady but faint din of chaos can be heard.

We look to one another, our stomachs bottoming out and we rush towards the guard house.

If it knew we were still alive, it would be returning soon.

We bust open the wooden doors and smash the crates, retrieving weapons restored from the robot invasion and load them with a spacial ammo to slay the beast. Just in time too.

A deafening roar alerts us to something massive shifting through the hallways, and we turn and face the monster.

A beast made of malice and madness, a labyrinthine body of incomprehensibility, ever-changing. A creeping chaos of paperwork forsaken.

We're not trained for this, but we had to anyway, we quickly begin unloading round after round into the horror as it now begins to bare down on us, but we would not retreat, if need be, this would be our final stand.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>Arana
“Spike”
‘???’
______

A clawed hand ruffled her mane and she looked up to see a sight that unconsciously caused her to smile.

>Spike!

“Heyo, Ara’, how’re you d- oh, hold on….”

>Hm?

When the dragon scooped the trench-coated spiderling up into a hug, it took a few moments before Arana felt it. But when she did, she smiled, her extra legs wriggling about in tandem joy.

>Mmmmmm… what’s this for?

“Just in case you’d done anything reckless while my back was turned. You haven’t, though… right?”

She got set down, now bouncy with love.

>Nooooope… just… keepin’ to myself, you know, just… here.

When she laughed, it was the most hollowest sound Spike had ever heard.

“…”

>But, um… j-just in case, you probably shouldn’t hug me anymo-

He hugged her before she could finish.

“Ara’… Whatever you’ve got going on, it can’t hurt me. So don’t worry, okay?”

>…

He pulled back, searching her face. Just like her laugh, the eyes he stared into were quite hollow, dim even. She wasn’t crying simply because she couldn’t. Somewhere down there in the catacombs of Canterlot, amidst all that she suffered through, she must have figured out a way to shut off that particular valve….

>I’m not worried, Spike… I was taught that everything comes in seasons. Good times, bad times, friends… mothers… I probably won’t be around you all long enough to worry in the first place….

That type of talk warranted a swift slap where Spike was concerned but that would’ve been hypocritical as he could recall his fair share of pessimistic thoughts.

“Well. Here’s one thing that’s definitely got a season, Ara’.”

A twinkle of interest lit up her pupils and some genuine warmth invaded her smile.

>Yeah?

“Mhm. I got you this cupcake, it’s got this special diamond-encrusted frosting, see?”

>Ooooo, thank you! A cupcat! I love- UFF!

Spike could only stare when Arana was bulldozed to the ground by another smaller figure, the latter of which easily pinned her down.

‘OH NO YA DON’T! THAT’S MY SCHTICK! I GOTS MARCHMALLEY’S AND YOU GOTS CUPCAKES, NOT CUPCATS!’

>…

“…Allllrighty then.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Velvet
"Nightlight"
~~~

>Oh sweet cookie dough I am SO ready for bed!

"Right? I'm way too old for this stuff anymore."

>Hey. we did okay.

"No, my son did okay, I stayed out of it because I'm pretty sure I would have a splitting headache if I tried to fight that guy. His whole life is breaking rocks, Velvet, WITH HIS BARE HOOVES! That's just what he does!"

>Well, Shiny handled him okay.

"That he did, because even if we weren't the best adventurers of all time, we are in fact, the most kickass parents of all time. We are next level awesome parents."

>Made two world saving, super talented and powerful royals, I'll give you that... huh. Weird that both of them would come out this good.

"Nahhh, I slept with Princess Celestia before they were conceived and got my swimmers all charged up."

>...

"...You cannot think I was serious."

>No no, I don't, I'm just remembering a conversation I overheard while 'covertly' listening to him. Turns out, if you'd tried that, well... we wouldn't be awesome parents, let's just say.

"Ominous! So, what're we going to do tomorrow."

>Oh, let's just relax and do nothing at all. Really, I think we've had enough enough excitement for one week.

"A-men..."

>...

"...So, relaxing starts tomorrow?"

>Dear, we're on vacation.

*Pounce!*

>So, obviously later.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
“???”
~~~~~

A knock at the door. She glanced up, still battling a headache. On the tip of her tongue was a very rude answer to the noise... but she swallowed it.

Princess at all times. Remember that.

>…Come in.

It opened, and suddenly, the world didn’t seem so troublesome.

“Whoa now, I thought coming to this place meant NOT sitting behind a desk?

>Hawh, yeah… well, life don’t really care fer’ plans, Ah’ve found.

"True words from an honest pony."

Scoffing, she pushed out of the chair and approached her little personal ray of sunshine, nuzzling her cheek against his.

>What brings ya here, loverboy? Shouldn’t y’all be gearin’ up fer’ the final day?

The fatigue of a long day was obvious in her eyes. Spike didn’t miss it as he nuzzled back, silent as he sauntered past her.

“About that, stay still for a sec’, okay?”

>Um… sure?

Almost before she could finish agreeing, she already broke her word by craning her head back to watch him. He was staring at her tail. So she flicked him upside the nose with it.

>Somethin’ ‘bout mah tail got ya’ stumped, partner?

Spike took her teasing appendage by the clawful, smirking when it wiggled about in a bid at freedom.

Though his antics were thus far childish, Applejack couldn’t help but smirk. Just where was he going with this…?

>Ooookay… so ya caught me. Now what?

“This.”

Gasping, she felt a slight twinge of pain at the base of her rump when he plucked a single hair from her tail.

Hm. Not quite what she’d been expecting but the curiosity was still there.

>Is that gonna lead t’ more or…?

Spike knew she was joking and so offered a chuckle as he twirled the golden strand about.

“Noooot this time. I just had to show who’s best, is all.”

>Best…? Best ‘bout what, sugar?

“That competition between Jet and Double-Oh-Seven, about stealing a hair from the others Queen? Well, I just beat them both by getting a hair from the best ‘Queen’ around.”

>…

Even if she wasn’t a ‘Queen’, in that moment, as her cheeks flared up unconditionally, Applejack certainly felt like one and bashfully tugged her stetson down to cover her face.

“That’s cute, you know.”

>Sh-shush up….
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
'Desk pony'
"???"
~~~~~

As if tonight couldn't get any worse...

>YOU!

'ACK!'

>Where is my subordinate!? I quite clearly left her here with you!

'I-I-I-'

>I SAID-

"Eeesh! Don't be like that, Crissy! I had 42 taken to her room, big ol' sleepy head looked like she needed a time out."

Slowly, she looked up.

>... Pinkie, why are you hanging from the ceiling?

"So you wouldn't see me!"

>...Fair enough. Thank you, I suppose?

"No problemino! That's what I'm here for!"

>I see...

Well, couldn't hurt.

>So... are you doing well with your business?

"..."

>...How are your parents? Is your father recovered from his little bout with Shiny?

"..."

>...Nice weather?

Sure, now she shuts the fuck up. NOW, she shuts the fuck up. Of all the times that she could-

"Whoop! Sorry, I wasn't listening. Uh, it looks like my kitchen is on fire, and I should probably go deal with that."

>Your...

"Later!"

With that, the pink hurricane bounced away, off to... who knows where. She was pretty sure that wasn't the direction to the kitchen.

>...Well, fuck you too.

'...'

>...You heard nothing.

'YES MA'AM!'

She growled a little bit, and stomped off towards her room.

>Fuck this, I'm going to bed.

And off to her bed she went.

Unbeknownst to her, of course, Pinkie was having a bit of a time.

"HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO SET MY SECRET KITCHEN ON FIRE!? DO YOU ALL HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THESE INGREDIENTS COST!? OH SWEET CUPCAKES SO BOOTY BIGGING WHYYYY!?"

...

"...A *WHAT* CAME IN HERE AND SPIT FIRE!?...WHY WOULD A TAFFY PENGUIN SPIT FIRE EVEN I THINK THAT IS DUMB!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AB
“SB”
‘SL’
-Guards-
{???}
_______

>Woooow… lookit all the fires ‘round here!

“It’s almost like we’re in the ballroom.”

‘So am I the only who hears those screams in the distance?’

>Naw, but y’all ARE the only one willin’ tuh’ acknowledge ‘em.

‘Right.’

“Typical chicken, all slow to the party.”

‘Shut up!’

At Scootaloo’s yell, the chamber door next to them exploded open and a contingent of guards tumbled out.

-BACK YOU FIENDS GET BACK!-

>What in tarnation’s this all about?

A few seconds later, as a pool of toys spilled through the doorway, they found out.

-THEY’RE MULTIPLYING! SWEET CELESTIA THEY’RE MULTIPLYING!-

-HOW’D THESE FILLIES GET IN THE COMBAT AREA?-

-HOLD MEN, HOLD! PROTECT THE FOALS!-

At first, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo stood there, befuddled with all the hubbub, until catching sight of the plushies wielding ‘plastic’ knives and other bludgeoning instruments.

‘OH.’

>MAH.

>‘GOSH!’

The two fillies raced forward, ducking between the legs of their guards and tackling the first row of toys.

>Where’d y’all get this’n from? It’s been sold outta stores fer’ months now!

‘Nooooo waaaay, this is that limited edition one with the flight action wings! Is it my birthday?! It feels like my birthday!’

Before the castles guards could make a move, something odd happened.

The toys being crushed in Applebloom and Scootaloo’s grip, the ones seconds from trying to stab them, suddenly twitched. Then fell still.

-What the...?-

The cuddling commenced.

-…-

-Did you guys just see that…?-

-I… I see it, yeah, but I don’t believe it.-

-Don’t tell me….-

-Can’t be… it better not be, should I say.-

The remaining toys were staring at Applebloom and Scootaloo, more precisely at their two comrades now devoid of life thanks to a simple joy-filled hug.

Guards and toys faced one another.

Then the toys booked it back the way they came, the guards stampeding after them.

-GET THEM! HUG THEM! HUG THEM TO DEATH!-

-…And I signed up for this, that’s the sad part.-

Still sitting there and having observed all of that, Sweetie Belle glanced about the carnage that was the castle interior. The scorched floors, busted windows, fallen chandeliers, flickering fires, ripped tapestries… Only one thing to do.

Her horn sparked with a bit of magic. A second later, she heard a voice in her ears.

{Hello?}

“Hey, Mister Rich? It’s me, Sweetie.”

{Oh yes, Sweetie! Diamond Tiara’s little friend, right?}

Friend. Enemy for life. What was the difference?

“Yes, sir.”

{Marvelous, marvelous! Did you need something dear? I was just making some brownies to bring up there tomorrow, sort’ve a surprise for my little Tiara’s return.}

“Actually, uh, that’s what I wanted to talk about… we may need a little help.”

She heard the clank of metal on the other end, probably a whisk, and she knew she had his full attention.

{I’m at your disposal. What’s wrong?}

Once again, Sweetie’s eyes swept the scene around her, bypassing her preoccupied friends.

“Um… well, you might get a kick out of this, sir, but….”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Arana"
~~~~

"Ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow..."

>I HAVEN'T EVEN STUCK YOU YET!

"I know, I'm just getting it all out now! When they screamed before momma did stuff, they screamed less later!"

>...

"...It sounds like the same principal, is all."

>...YOINK!

"OW!... It didn't help at all!"

>Good, and you're done!

"...That's it?"

>Yep, just needed a blood sample and the earlier scan. You are all set, and I'll have you figured out shortly.

"Oh..."

>...Oh?

"It's just... I was kind of thinking this was going to take all night..."

>Are you asking if you can sleep over here?

"..."

>...Because sure, of course you can-

"EEEE! I'LL GET THE POPCORN LET'S WATCH MOVIES!"

>That's not what I... oh, forget it... gonna be a looong night...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~
'Twas the second night in partyland, and throughout the hotel
Many a creature was stirring, it seemed quite unwell.
The Queen of the changelings was tossing in her bed
The most loyal soldier of all was smoking from her head.
The prince of the Empire had decided he wished a night alone.
While the wife he held dear struggled with her desire to atone.
The one so small and excited bounced off the sticky walls.
While tendril maned ex-villain let out cackling calls
The purple scientist with her mind so bright
Had to put up with the skittering ones delight.
The ever disguised eighteen crawled into bed with a smile so wide.
And the battling pair of changeling and guard once more fought for their pride.
A now ex-guard found his spirits low as he walked into his room.
But the cheerful juggling that greeted him chased away his gloom.
With the sun long gone the morlocks could finally free their heads.
Which is good, they needed the fangs to fight for the bed.
The rainbow maned pegasus had the most quiet of the night.
For after she 'put a sock in it', the others didn't have much of a fight.
The time of Pinkie Pie was sadly not the same,
In her annoyance, she just rattled off every name:
"Was it Dashie? No, Caddy? Or Limey or Shiny?
Oh, Crissy! No, Celly! Could it be Flutters or Twili?
To the top of the sink! All up the wall!
It's burning, it's burning, it's burning it all!"
But rest still came easy ,for those beside the mare,
Excepting of course for the agents, and the mission they dare
The parents so proud of their children successful
And the ones who are just hope for a day less stressful.
The princess of the night with her coat so dark
Rested in her room with the strangest of company, having quite the lark.
The pregnant mare and her still smarting beloved.
And even the school bound changeling snuggling that which he loved.
The Princess of the sun was the one with the most fun
And this hot tub the room supplied would sooth either massive bun.

From the unlucky one to the one who lives in flame.
Even Cheese Sandwhich had finished his last game.
Many many many are having a sleep this night.
But there is some unrestful, who feels no delight.
A one coated orange with a hat so tall
Is questioning herself, and the words she had to scrawl
The dragon of lavender and the friend coated white.
Can only be there, they can bring no respite.
But still they would be there, just as they all knew they should.
It would get better, they knew that it would.
And aside from it all, one more still remains.
A yellow filly so unsure, trying to subdue her heads pains.
Her mind is ajumble, so many thoughts in her head.
Only one thing left to say “The end is neigh, see you next thread."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________