Hey guys, so I've recently been told many members of the PH staff have been rather unhappy with me, but not wanting to talk to me directly sadly. I really wish some of you guys had come to me to just say the problems you had instead of brewing on them without letting me know. If I'm bothering or doing something wrong please tell me, it's your server and community and I've never intended to try and impede on that.

I'm just a guy playing the game, I really don't see myself as an influence or trying to use my "power" to get things changed. I've "asked" for a lot on stream, but it's just been suggestions. I'm never constantly asking for the same thing in private or trying to push for things - and if it's come across that I have, I do apologize for that. It's not my server! I just say what comes to my mind in terms of - hey, this is possible, might be fun, such as the event's I've worked with innsomniak on. Any changes I really thought serious were implemented, so I assumed it was all good.

A few weeks ago I was even joking on the above "suggestion spam" on stream, coming up with tons of stuff that I was 'going to ask innsomniak for', and Nos came in midway through and I don't think he realized it was a joke bit, I didn't ask for any of that stuff and most of it was super dumb. Similar, recently innsomniak wasn't whitelisted for the event. There was a serious error of miscommunication at the start, which he never brought up or just added himself to the whitelist, when he had every right to. I lost sleep over learning that, he's done so much, the event should be as much for him as for me, and I feel like I deprived him of that without knowing it. It almost seems ungenuine to him to just tell people to "just make their own server", as if you don't realize how much work it takes to work on all that programming and testing.

I know this really flared up when I replied to Grim's rude track review. Yes I was sleep deprived and posted my comment, but I do regret posting it, I do know I'm technically a somebody, so it's not great for me to post stuff publicly like that. I was under the impression comment's like Grim's (which has now been edited, and no I wasn't replying to the use of the word "Junk") was against the goals of the PH staff. I guess I was wrong on that, and a bit frustrated by it myself. I do apologize to the entire staff for making the comment at all, and while I still disagree with the content, I will avoid talking about it in the future.

I know Kimi has been a problem for you as well - however, I was under the impression that since she had the incident with Grim, there had been no further problems, as I instructed her if there was, she would be banned from PH by my own doing - if there was or is more, do please tell me or just ban her. I thank those of you who brought some of this stuff, and personal issues such as my dealing with lag over the past few weeks up to me. There is no reason not to face my problems head on, especially once I learn I have them.

I honestly thought things were good and I was friends with many of you. I don't expect all of you to like me, but I at least wish to be amicable and communicate openly, for the sake of the users who mix between NODO, EMDT and PH, and for Serenniel's sake as well, if you feel I myself have nothing to bring to PH.