Mr. Self Destruct - Anon's Birthday Party (unfinished)

>You are Anonymous
>And today is the day which, 18 years ago, you graced the Earth with your presence
>Yep, that's right; it's your birthday
>Great, wonderful
>You can't really be asked to care, not very important in the grand scheme of things
>Then again, maybe it's the most important thing to happen
>You decide you'll leave that question up to a jobless philosophy major somewhere out there
>Regardless, here you are sitting in class on your special day, entirely spaced out to the world
>The bell that allows you to leave class finally tolls
>"Now don't forget students your paper is due Monday. Have a good weekend everyone!"
>Great, you had forgotten about that
>Now you can stress about it off and on all weekend while simultaneously procrastinating its completion
>Sometimes you're really a pillar of logic, aren't you?
>You sigh internally, and head out into the hallways
>You gather the shit you're going to need for the weekend and head out
>At least you can go home and chill out for the night now
>You make your way out the exit, and down the stairs of Canterlot High
>"ANON, HEY ANON, WAIT A SEC!"
>You turn to see the Pinkie running your direction
>ohboyherewego.jpg
>She catches up to you
>"Anon, I heard it's your super-duper extra-special day today!"
"Heheh, yep"
>"Well Nonny, since me and you are like the bestest friends ever, I HAVE to throw you a special birthday party, Pinkie style!"
>You never really understood your friendship with Pinkie, must have been an opposites attract deal or something
"Thanks, but I'm alright Pinkie, I just kind of want to chill out tonight, if you or the girls want to stop by or something, that's cool, but I'm not really feeling a party."
>"OH come on Nonny, don't be a down-in-the-dumps sourpuss all the time, besides your parents aren't even home this weekend, IT DOESN'T EVEN GET more perfect than that for a B-day party for Anon."
"Wait how did you know my par-"
>"So are you going to let me throw my party or am I going to have to force my party on you?"
>She grins ear to ear, there's a hint of evil in it
>You sigh
"Alright, Pinkie, whatever, you can throw me a birthday party."
>"WOOHOO! PARTY AT ANON'S HOUSE! SEVEN O' CLOCK!"
>Well fuck, that pretty much means the whole high school will be stopping by at some point
>Nobody who's anybody misses a party thrown by Pinkie Pie
>Great
>She sees your slight distress at what she's just done
>"Don't worry Nonny, I promise I'll help you clean up and everything. I'm sure the girls will help out too!"
>You can't help but smile at her
>All she really wants is for you to be happy
>As innocent as her base intentions are, you know her means of enacting them will be quite the opposite
"Thanks Pink, alright well, I'm going to head home for a while and prepare my house's anus for the thorough raping it'll go through tonight."
>"Cool Nonny, I'll be by around five to set up."
>You part ways with her and head home
>When you get home, you take a quick shower, and try to move everything breakable to a safer place
>You think about what you're letting Pinkie do
>What in the mother of fuck where you thinking you retarded mother fucker?
>Too late now
>You sit around and pass the time by watching TV
>Before long two hours have passed and you hear a knock from you back door
>Pinkie's here
>You slide the door open and see her there sitting with an assortment of hard liquors and a rather sizable bag of pot with a bong all in a box
"Pinkie, seriously, how in the fuck do you get all this? Like really, we're in high school, holy shit."
>"Trade secret, now help me get everything in."
>You help her drag the box into your living room
>She pulls everything out and sets it on your coffee table
>A normal person would be scared that this much illegal activity was going to take place in their house tonight
>But normal people don't have Pinkie as a close friend, for whatever reason her parties never get busted
>You don't question the logic of that
>You don't question any logic when it comes to Pinkie, it's never worth the time
>"Oh by the way I invited RD, Rarity and AJ to come a bit earlier, I hope that's alright."
"Yeah, no problem, couldn't get Twi and Fluttershy to come?"
>"You know them Anon, they aren't exactly "at home" in the party environment."
"And you think I am?"
>The two of you share a laugh
>"At least I can get you to do fun stuff, they won't budge at all."
"Meh, Fluttershy smokes doesn't she?"
>"Yeah but she's usually a lonely stoner, and that's no fun."
"Different strokes for different folks, Pinkie."
>"Yeah, I guess."
>"So, you want to get this party started a bit early Anon?"
"What do you have in mind."
>She reaches into her gargantuan bag of pot and pulls out a bud, waving it in your face
"Well if I say no you're going to end up getting me to do it anyway, so sure, why the fuck not?"
>She fumbles around getting the bowl together
>"Well since you're the birthday boy, you get first go."
>You grab for the lighter, but Pinkie beats you to it
>"I got ya covered body."
"Pinkie..."
>"I promise I won't go overboard."
>You sigh
"Whatever."
>You line your mouth up with the entrance and get ready to breath in
>"Okay Anon, start sucking.... NOW!"
>You begin
>At light speed she somehow lights the whole bowl, and rips it out, causing all the smoke to fly into your lungs
>You fall over to the ground in a coughing fit while Pinkie sits on the sidelines laughing her ass off
"PINKIE! *cough cough*, WHAT TH- *cough* HELL!"
>She pulls crossed fingers from behind her back
>"You shoulda known better Nonny, I didn't even Pinkie promise you."
>After a couple minutes of coughing you finally begin to compose yourself, though you're very shaky
>During your coughing fit Pinkie has been leisurely smoking her own bowl
>You want to be angry, but that's when it hits you that you're probably already too high to be angry
>Fucking Pinkie and her monster bowls
>"How ya feelin' Nonny?"
"I'm... Okay."
>The two of you go off into a giggling fit for no reason.
>"Well if you need anymore, we got a lot more party left."
>You smile at her
>Suddenly you hear a knock at your front door
>Shit... shit... shit...
>You open the door and compose yourself the best you can
RD: "Heh heh, Hey there birthday boy."
"Ohh... Hey Dash-"
>You see Rarity and AJ walking up behind her
"Also hey to you guys!"
AJ: "Well howdy Anon, you seem a little happier than usual today!"
>You laugh to yourself like an idiot
Ra: "I do say Anon, you seem a bit.. off.. are you alright?"
"Heh, yeah Rarity, I'm okay."
RD: "Methinks Pinkie started the party a couple hours ahead of time."
AJ: "Ahh tarnation Anon, didyuh do some of that wacky tabacky with her?"
RD: "'course he did, just take a look at the guy"
AJ: "Anon you don't need to be encouraging her."
"Hey now AJ, you drink, we're just trading vices here."
AJ: "Yeah, but that stuff is illegal!"
"And so is underage drinking."
>Rarity and RD share a chuckle behind AJ's back
>AJ goes a bit red
Ra: "Well, are you going to let us in Anonymous."
"Oh yeah, sorry, come right on in."
>You lead the girls to your living room where pinkie is pouring shots
>She doesn't fuck around with this party stuff
"Shouldn't you wait a bit Pinkie, most of the party isn't even here yet."
PP: "Just one pre-party round for all of us, besides, this stuff is like 40 proof."
>AJ and RD make their way to sit beside Pinkie on the couch
>Rarity walks toward the love seat you're on
Ra: "Would you mind if I took a seat here Anon?"
"N-no, not at all."
>She sits down beside you, giving you less personal space than you're used to
>Or maybe you're just high and you can't judge, either way, letting it happen is the superior option
PP: "Alright on 3, for Anonymous's special day! 1... 2... 3...!"
>You all grab your shots and quickly down them
>You look over to Rarity who is clearing her throat
>She's no drinker, that's evident
>Then again, you aren't heavy into it either
RD: "Hey so Pinkie how about we get me doing some of that-"
>Dash, Pinkie, and AJ break off into a tangent conversation
Ra: "So Anon... how's the weather up there?"
>She chuckles a bit at her joke, and most likely the reaction on your face
"Heh, I'm... it's alright."
Ra: "I presume you're enjoying your birthday thus far?"
"I've had worse."
>You smile at her
Ra: "So, uhm... If you don't mind me asking darling... how is that?"
"Hmm?"
>She points over to Pinkie's bong
"Oh... uhm, yeah it's... it's pretty good, never smoked before I take it?"
Ra: "No.. typically at Pinkie's parties I take about a shot and mingle, I'm not really a "PARTY HARD" *ahem* type of person."
"Oh I see..."
Ra: "But I have been curious how it is... perhaps later on tonight you'll have to show me."
>You blush a bit, and then grin at her
"Yeah I think that can be arranged"