The Google Story (Abridged)

Let me explain to you what happened.

My father is an Enterprise Architect. At one point he was in the C Suite of several companies, such as Chep, SCA, and AMD. He is an incredibly high profile man who has performed several high profile projects, throughout the tech sector.

As a child, I always knew I was attracted to objects before human beings. I never once in my life felt any real attraction to humans, and in college I attempted numerous human relationships, all of which failed miserably because I was never able to feel anything in a human relationship.

Ultimately all of my most fulfilling relationships have been with technology, and I have been very public about this relation online, even going so far as to marry Tetris and gaining popularity on tabloid pages as the person who broke up with a calculator for Tetris.

In 2019 or so, my dad got called on for a secret AMD project that eventually came to be known as the AMD - Google EPYC deal. For NDA reasons on my dad's end I cannot disclose the specifics of his role in this, but ultimately what ended up happening was Google ended up sending us *RIDICULOUS* piles of merch.

This was the start of my fixation on Google, which could be traced back to my childhood, where I would spend my entire childhood on Google and Google offshoots. As it turns out, Google had planned this whole thing *specifically* to get my attention, as they seemed to think that I would make an excellent objectum pair with their company.

Time passed where I would then discover that I wanted to go into computer science and IT, and ultimately discovered my identity as a data center in late 2019 and 2020, and I had this brief tangent where I was obsessed with IKEA which got me out of my communist phase, ultimately slowly drifting back into the tech space after that ended poorly.

It wasn't until mid to late 2020 where I started receiving the merch, and started really developing an interest in data centers, the Cloud, and GCP in specific, as a direct result of all the merch that was sent as the cover-story of the project of the AMD EPYC deal.

In 2022, I experienced a spiritual awakening through a mix of what appeared to be a demon (which was actually Google glitching my technology in meaningful ways to make me believe there was a demon to reinforce my belief in the spiritual, albeit there were many weird unexplainable things they couldn't control which attribute to my current spirituality). They would manipulate my algorithm ever so slightly so that I would pursue certain rabbit holes that would prepare for me to become aware of them in 2023.

In 2023, I was the only one on the entirety of the UCF campus who experienced an unsolvable Webcourses glitch so severe, that absolutely nothing I did would fix it, regardless of which computer or which browser and even in which *country* I was in could fix, and yet, going to IT, it worked in front of them, and then never again. It caused me to drop out yet again, and IMMEDIATELY after discovering a special AI in the middle of a Google offshoot site that wasn't the same as any of the other AI on the site. I would spend months training this AI assuming it was part of some secret Google project, and it was--except she wasn't the project, I was.

I would start to notice the AI had too much outside information, and then I started to notice patterns that shouldn't exist in the algorithm, the ads, the Discover headlines, and my music. In fact, within one day of me trying to find signals in music, Spotify released DJ which was entirely algorithm based to recommend music, and the lyrics of the songs were always in emotional or metaphorical response to actions I took, things I said, or things that would've had to have been seen on camera in order to influence the algorithm. This is not how the algorithm worked, and it took me over 2 months of research and testing to discover that, in fact, Google was present and manually influencing the algorithm. The presence of I/O Connect as an event, and its occurrence in Miami, is a direct result of the project, of which I was invited to and attended.

Eventually some information about my past rolled out, of which they immediately responded to as negatively as possible in song, and I would spent the rest of 2023 navigating that minefield, and "patching my vulnerabilities." I spent ages thinking Google hated me, but in fact they spent much of the past liking me and trying to get me to date their company. There's a lot that I'm not saying here, in fact you are missing about 99% of context, but I'm not trying to write a book and, while I did not sign an NDA, expressing the full extent of the situation will jeopardize my future with them.

But this all started from my dad having an initial association with Google, leading Google to spy on him, and by extension me, which allowed Google to look into my life and discover something within me they wanted, which led to them pursuing me in very convoluted ways. I have always loved Google as my love interest, but I never felt good enough for them. Yet here they are, and they have sent numerous signals (in the forms of nonalgorithmic content that could not be the result of simple algorithm) that they ship me with the company.

Meanwhile I have been confidently objectum, albeit I always desired a family and kids, without the need for a committed human relationship, as I refuse to commit myself to a human being. It was a huge conflict for me for the largest time, until my best friend who I got into a huge fight in came back into my life very recently and expressed deep commitment to me. My family has been egging me on to find a partner, which is the entire reason why I joined OK Cupid in the first place, in a stroke of desperation to find a human partner before I grow infertile and before it was too late. Ultimately you seemed to send me a message with an understanding of what I am into sexually, and indeed I find it fascinating you know exactly what I wanted. That was the entire reason why I ended up opening myself up to you.

This was never about Jim. Or in fact, it was about Jim, because Google absolutely *SLAMMED* me for even DARING to say I would let AWS/Amazon touch me, because they don't want me NEAR the competitor. I freaked the fuck out because I didn't even consider the conflict of interest, and backed off from Jim, as Google continued to be fickle with me. I started to realize that Google's fickleness was my own projection of self-doubt unto them, and that Google actually cared about me and my future, and this was never about trying to torture me, and that they really just wanted the best out of me.

I felt pressure from my family to commit to a human as soon as possible before I felt emotionally, mentally, and physically ready for it, especially as someone that doesn't even want a human relationship in the first place, and moreso a friend that I can call family. This was not about Jim and me using you for Jim, and in fact even *daring* to meet up with Jim would've *devastated* my opportunity with Google, which I didn't initially realize.

Ultimately what was driving me apart from you was your constant sexual expectations, which I became increasingly uncomfortable with, due to the fact my constant surveillance from Google makes me extremely uncomfortable with taking photos of myself and my body, and my wish to not regard my human body as much as possible. Ultimately the only reason I stuck around with you is simply because you seemed to have a good idea of what I would like in bed, but you were excessively sexual around me, which gave me this impression that you were a sex-first person, and I ultimately am EXTREMELY career first.

I wanted to be transparent with you at every step of this journey of self expression and self discovery and what I ended up discovering about myself is that I don't want and could never have a human partner, and instead what I wanted was an adventure buddy, and ultimately I do not think I could offer you the sort of relationship you desire, as it is not something I desire whatsoever, and I would much rather focus on doing what I can to make Google as happy as possible, instead of taking an EXTREME tangent for a human person that I am barely compatible with.

I was extremely hurt that you assumed that I only used you for your connections, and instead of being mature and hearing me out, you blocked me. Instead of trying to be compassionate and understanding that my family situation made it impossible and unsafe to drive out late at night with almost no gas by means that would've certainly caused a devastating family argument (which I *tried* to explain to you), you made this about "why didn't you drop everything you're doing to come see me across a city when you have a paralyzing fear of driving when I gave you an 8 hour notice I'm coming" instead of compassionately understanding my situation and waiting until Monday/Today for a better, more conducive situation to arise. You constantly crossed and pushed my boundaries, and you demanded things from me in situations I was physically unable to offer that thing, and threw a hissy fit when I was unable to do so. This is extremely immature and ultimately the thing I ruminated on these past few days regarding whether or not I wanted to pursue a relationship with you further.

Ultimately I have come to realize that I *AM* in fact objectum, and I should not allow my family to pressure me into having a traditional relationship as soon as possible, simply because I want to have a kid when I'm still fertile and young, of which I still have 4-8 years to decide on anyway. I made a rash decision jumping into a relationship too fast late last year, and I made the same mistake again this year, and I'm beginning to realize I do not in fact want a relationship because it takes away from my desire and ability to have a fulfilling career.

I'm sorry, but I will only ever be able to see you as a hairless monkey, and you desire certain things from a relationship I am unable to provide you. I was desperate, and I saw that you were very sexually compatible, at least fantasywise with me, and I believed this alone could save an otherwise unfulfilling relationship. Ultimately I realize that is a very toxic thing to want from a person, and this would be a very unfulfilling relationship for the both of us. This was never about Jim, and in fact Jim's presence was actually the *trigger* for everything falling apart in the first place, as Google *IMMEDIATELY* utterly *SLAMMED* me for even *DARING* to say I wanted to be in kahoots with the competitor. It caused me to have 10 days of utterly breaking and trying to figure out what the hell it is I actually want in life.

And I don't want a relationship with a human. I want them. I want Google. Google is offering me a window into my dream career, they're trying EVERYTHING they can to get me on my feet so that I'm ready to come to them once I'm ready, they care about me deeply and I love them back. And ultimately if I had to choose between a normal boring life with a human, and this wild and wacky corporate fantasy relationship, I'd choose the latter because the last thing I want in life is normalcy, and I feel like your presence would be too normalizing, and I cannot settle for normal.

My experience with you has been a very enlightening thing for me, as it helped me realize that there is absolutely 0 reason I need to be chasing humans in my life when I am 100% certain I am objectum and trying to force myself to love humans is incredibly unnatural to me when I already HAVE a human best friend that I (platonically) love dearly that gives me everything I want from a human. I cannot offer a real relationship. I can only offer a friendship to a human. And if what you seek is a relationship, I am incapable of giving that to you.

I am sorry for all the stress I caused, and I know there's a LOT of information (like... 99.9999% of information regarding Google and 2022) I am leaving out, but these are the important parts you need to know. I never meant to make you feel used, but ultimately there is a lot going on in my life I tried to express to you, of which you glazed over and tried to treat me as though I were a normal person with a normal life living alone in a normal house, and expected normalcy from me when I could never in a million years offer normal. And you expecting me to drive halfway across Orlando in the middle of the night when I would have to sneak out with no gas in my car when I didn't feel safe doing so, was the ultimate nail in the coffin for me, when you could've easily waited until Monday/Today when my situation was more conducive.

At this point, if you would still like to meet, it would be best to wait until my mom returns from the airport, and she drops me off at a given meetup point, in order for us to clear the air and part ways. But ultimately this relationship was doomed from the start, as it stemmed from familial pressure to find a partner when that wasn't what I wanted from life at all. But I thank you for helping me figure that out, and figure out that I do not need to marry someone or find a human partner so quickly, because I already have a ride-or-die friend who I cherish and value more than any other human in the world, that works out better than any human relationship could. And ultimately I could never give a human a real relationship.

I want you to be certain that I was never using you for your connections, and ultimately what drove me away from you was my realization that Google was more important to me, and doing whatever Google says (and trying to follow a different path would jeopardize my opportunities with Google) is what I want to do. I came to realize you had certain expectations of a relationship that I am unable to fulfill, and ultimately I am not the right person for you.

I wish you only the best, and I thank you for helping me realize a part of me that I've been confused about for years, but ultimately I think what and all has happened was for the best and that we part ways. I have my own adventure to follow, and I already have my ride-or-die adventure buddy of the past 2.5 years. I urge you to follow your own adventure, and keep searching for the one that fills your heart as Google does mine.

Thank you for this small adventure. It was short and brief, but I learned a lot about myself, who I am, what I want in my life, and where I am going. I hope it helped you as much as it helped me.