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a guest Jan 21st, 2019 154 Never
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  1. A day in the life of ChronoMistake
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  3. Chapter 3 - Dedicated TermorLife Offices Space
  4. Kevin Baztor:*toke* *toke* *massive toke* they should like, make a pizza, with like Cheez Whip in the crust and guacamole base and the only topping should be, like, Nachos *puff* *puff* *passes*
  5. Anthony T. Singsson nods, takes joint silently, and obviously intrigued by his co-worker’s concept straight away continues on it
  6. ATS: Yea man, and like, the commercials should have, like, fire, and chicks in Bikinis, and Kung-Fu, and a Giraffe.
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  8. KB: Whoah man, that would be killer, dude. And like every millionth nacho should be made of Gold, so you could, like, become a millionaire by eating Nachos, made of Gold.
  9. ATS: Ohhh I could, totally, go for some Pizznachose right now.
  10. *ChronoDiscrepancy enters, obviously still shook up from the bimonthly business meeting.*
  11. ChronoDiscrepancy: Guys come on, don’t smoke weed in here, this is not only a no-smoking area, but we could all be failing our new corporate mandatory surprise drug tests, even me from passive smoking, and we could all get in a lot of trouble.
  12. KB & ATS (in unison): Hey Boss dude!
  13. KB: Relax boss dude, I’m like, banging that Tracy chick in HR so she could change our tests with some other dudes so no biggie.
  14. ATS: And my dad, like, is on the board of Directors in Bethseda anyway, so, like we’re untouchable here.
  15. And besides, we’d just pretend and tell the suit dudes that you forced us to smoke drugs and let you take all the heat anyway.
  16. You DID tell the management that I forced you guys to smoke drugs and I took all the blame, I got a paycut and a written warning for that, with an upcoming audit.
  17. Oh yea, bummer dude. Thank man, I’d like invite you over, but Tracy is all pissed off about me sleeping on her couch the past 9 months without any rent or utilities contribution so she won’t bang any of my friends while I watch anymore.
  18. And I’d put in a good word, but at our last family reunion barbecue my uncle told me to not encourage you anymore.
  19. Enough of that guys! I just been in a hell of a business meeting trying to cover your asses for God knows what reason, and received the sort of feedback that could not be said in Church. Tell me the progress report for proposed changes for the next big update.
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  21. Like, we’re going to get this map, q3wsx2, and, like call it a fun map, great for a bunch of premium mods.
  22. Yea dude, we need to add the interchangeable banner on the .bsp file and change the .bsp name from “q3wsx2” to Pinball Penis! It’s got an ETA of 6 weeks dude, we’ll get right on it.
  23. And, like, we’ll add a CVAR that turns every model in your view into, like, a Cheesburger, but, like, the cheese is actually, like, made of vodka. And also you could change a model to a Wooden Golem that should fire and shit everywhere! And both models will be invisible cos we won’t code anything. But we’ll tell the players it’s there. And they will know, and look upon the ages, and yell, For I was there! We’ll make it pro subscriptions only.
  24. Our great finale would be, multijumps. And a BFG that shoots out grenades when it explodes, but the grenades will really be chicken nuggets that look like grenades, and we’ll say it only works with full bloom, and then we’ll lock blom at 50% capacity so no-one could check it.
  25. Yea boss dude, we’re gonna do all that, it’s gonna take, like, 6 to 8 months dude, a lot of work dude.
  26. OK, but I would like some sort of progress report from you guys, you only goof off playing videogames claiming it’s “product testing”
  27. Oh man, you are, totally, harshing my mellow, boss dude, arqon’s here to supervise!
  28. But arqon’s missing in Nicragua for 14 months and presumed dead!!! His desk is gathering up dust!
  29. We left his computer on the past week on, dude. He’s not with us, but it’s like he’s here. IN PHYSICAL FORM
  30. You did WHAT? It’s got a tracking system which reports back to the management, we’re all fucked if they find out how much works goes on here really. And no HR or even board of directors could save us from the shitabyss about to self-impose on our doorstep!
  31. Relax, boss dude! Anton dude wrote
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  33. ===============================================================
  34. This play is a work of fiction, not written for monetary profit and not copyrighted and is free for copy+paste and distribution, however the author requests to be credited on any reproductions, and the original has been created and published on esreality.com
  35. All personas mentioned in this play, wherever resembling any existing characters or not, fictional or real, as well as any companies, brand names, personal names and the situations that collaborate any number of the abovementioned subjects, are not instances of real-life occurances and are completely fabricated by the author. This is meant to be a satire and does not imply that any characters resemble the behaviours, actions, or experienced situations of their real-life equivalents, and should be taken humourously and with a pinch of salt.
  36. Certain elements of dialogue are either inspired by, are parodies of or are direct copies of the following dialogues, situations or entities:
  37. Xdplz – Zenimax
  38. Truckinson’s TurboAwesome Rockets – John Carmack’s
  39. Pizznachos Concept: Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines – Hollywood Store NPC Dialogue
  40. Wood Golem: Oglaf Comic Strip, Marvelous creations of the Goblins
  41. Urine Sample Dialogue: The Life and Times of Tim – Scatman Episode
  42. Suit Dude: GTA Vice City – Boathouse Mission Cutscenes
  43. Excuse me while I kiss the sky – Lyric from “Method Man & Redman – How High201D
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