WORLD SHOULD BE, PART 4

CSS: [ https://soundcloud.com/splitsuns/world-should-be ]
CURRENT concealedLocation [CCL] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCL: the only real important stuff is the infinity gauntlet sidequest and the door
CPB made S an OP.
CURRENT augmentedUnagi [CAU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAU: nice
CSS: [WORLD SHOULD BE — PART 4]
CSS: [Gonna wait a bit in case more people show up, but otherwise, helo everybudy tonite.]
CAU: helo mistew intewwobang
CAU ceased responding to memo.
CURRENT eternallyEthereal [CEE] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CEE: goobai!
CURRENT aimlessAscendant [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: Ah, another day of running around aimlessly until we accidentally kill Bill Cipher somehow
CCL: oh!
CURRENT unexpectedTitania [CUT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CUT: Well, maybe not TOO aimlessly. Memories make a lot of interesting things.
CSS: [Alright, here we go.]
CCL: we're also currently in the viewpoint of Jeff Coleman. From pie quest
CCL: for serpent
CSS: [x]
CSS: [The recent past is recalled for the benefit of the myriad...]
CSS: [Your name is JEFF MASON. You, along with your nine fellow ADVANCED SUPERIORS, are currently working in your top-secret headquarters, PROJECTION, on an equally top-secret project. To the point, you have acquired a TALL GRAY DOOR and are using it to experience your VARIOUS MEMORIES IN PHYSICAL FORM. It seems you have a limited, potential ability to CHANGE these memories, but the extent to which you can is unknown.]
CAU ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [To the point's point...]
CSS: [Your name is JEFF COLEMAN, otherwise known as the PIE GUY. It is worth noting that you REALLY LOVE PIE.]
CSS: [What will you do?]
CSS: <0>
CURRENT augmentedUnagi [CAU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAU: > Summon pie.
CURRENT ascendantSpecialist [CAS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAS: > Find pie. Eat pie.
CURRENT consideringArchons [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCA: > calculate pie
CURRENT abyssalUnderlord [CAU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAU: >Recall your favorite flavor of pie.
?GG: > Revısıt the pıe shop.
CCL: > Review your current situation. Is this a reboot?
CURRENT antipodeanCorsair [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAC: > become one with the pie
CAS: It is worth noting that I did not receive the expository message.
CURRENT crankyCreeper [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCC: > look around... for pie
CSS: [x]
CURRENT arcticArchiver [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: > Check inventory
CAU ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [> Review your current situation. Is this a reboot?]
CSS: [REBOOT? You have no idea what the hell that even means. You mean, you KNOW what the word "reboot" means, but you see no possible way in which your life could be a "reboot" of anything. You've only experienced it once, after all!]
CSS: [It's still probably good to mention where you are, who you are, and what you're doing, though. That seems like basic procedure that you'd EASILY follow if you were ANYTHING higher than the absolute lowest common denominator of talent.]
CCA ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [Your name is JEFF MASON. As was previousliy mentioned, you are also known as THE PIE GUY. This is in no small part because you ABSOLUTELY LOVE PIE with a PASSION. You love PIE of all kinds. Eating it, rating it, viewing it, you name it! Just... not MAKING it. The last time you tried was HORRIFIC FOR ALL WHO WERE INVOLVED.]
CURRENT augmentedUnagi [CAU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAU: > Stop being Jeff Mason this instant.
CSS: [You immediately stop being JEFF MASON and start being JEFF COLEMAN, like you always were. You're not even sure how you made that typo.]
CSS: [Anyway.]
CSS: [You are currenly allied with two other individuals. One is a TALL, LANKY FELLOW with a SUIT and a BRIEFCASE who has a particular affinity for CAKE. You might even be inclined to call him a CAKE CLOWN, owing to the NUMBER OF CLOWNISH ARTIFACTS locked away in his CASE.]
CSS: [The other is a CRIMINAL. You only address him as the MASKED THIEF, and don't feel fit to dignify him with a proper NAME. He abuses the laws of HAMMERSPACE for his own gain, stealing BRICKS, DIAMONDS, and probably some CONFECTIONARIES too even though he claims to hate the stuff.]
CTJ ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [The three of you are currently fuck-deep in the JUNGLES OF CROCKERZON, where BOUNTIFUL PIES grow from the PIE TREES. You are on a quest. A PIE QUEST, if you will.]
CSS: [> Summon pie.]
CSS: [> Find pie.]
CSS: [> Eat pie.]
CSS: [> Become one with the pie.]
CSS: [You look up. There is literally pie above you. It's right there. It's growing on the trees. If you really wanted to you bet you could sort of just... jump up. And...]
CSS: [CAKE CLOWN stops you. He reminds you that the MANIFOLD ASSORTMENTS OF PIES strewn about the area are likely a devious TRAP designed to ensnare hapless PIE-ADDICTS such as yourself, and you're better off staying put while the three of you chart a course through the jungle's maze.]
CSS: [> Recall your favorite flavor of pie.]
CSS: [APPLE. Obviously.]
CSS: [> Check inventory.]
CSS: [Sure thing. You reach into the boundless world of HAMMERSPACE and investigate your trusty repetoire of SHIT.]
CSS: JEFF COLEMAN (THE PIE GUY) HP: 12/12. WEAPON: PUN (20 BULLETS) AEGIS: HYPERION SHIRT
CSS: INVENTORY: 39 PIES | MELEE DECK | HOUSE KEYS | 3 COOKED STEAKS | EYE PENDANT | ICETHROWER | 99 BRICKS | OCCULT PIE MANUSCRIPT | EXPERIMENT 688 | APPLADDER | PIE BEACON | THE MATRIX | 5 COMIC BOOKS
CSS: ??? (THE CAKE CLOWN) HP: 18/18. WEAPON: BRIEFCASE. AEGIS: GROUCHO SEINFELD MASK
CSS: ??? (THE MASKED THIEF) HP: 8/8. WEAPON: OK-47 (47 BULLETS) AEGIS: ROBBER'S MASK
CSS: [You are unable to divine the contents of your compatriots' INVENTORIES, but you can tell what they have on them, if that makes any sense. You hope it does.]
CSS: [Sorry for the wait. Now... What will you do?]
CSS: <0>
FUTURE augmentedUnagi [FAU] 1025 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FAU: > Assemble your SHIT into a summoning circle to summon the fabled LORD of SHIT.
?GG: > Consıder puttıng on a mask
CURRENT caledfwlchUnleashed [CCU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCU: > JEFF MASON 186 CP
CCL: > Inspect EXPERIMENT 688
CAC: >JEFF COLEMAN 189 CP
CAA: Unrelated question. I don't see messages from people joining. But they do show up in the archive. Why is that? Is there some setting I can change, or is it platform-dependant, or... ?
CURRENT paradoxDragon [CPD] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CPD: >Jeff COLEMAN 192 CP
CAA: > Well? Get charting!
CAU: > Plot a course!
CCC: > Slam a pie into your face, equipping the PIE MASK.
CURRENT universallyCognizant [CUC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CUC: > Examine Pun.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON 186 CP]
CSS: [Who the hell is "JEFF MASON?" You're positive you've never met anyone with that name in your l—]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 189 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 198 CP]
CSS: [> Consider putting on a mask.]
CCU: ((uh, missed one. > Jeff COLEMAN 192 CP))
CSS: [...> JEFF COLEMAN 192 CP]
CCU: ((...nevermind))
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 192 CP]
CSS: [You don't see the practicality in it! Your HYPERION SHIRT seemingly functions as a practical, and powerful AEGIS in its own right. No sense in getting rid of a good thing, you know?]
CSS: [Now if OTHER PEOPLE want to have MASKS as their AEGISES, they can go knock themselves out. Except they probably won't be able to since their AEGISES would be protecting them. Hey, how do you say it, anyway? AEGISES? AEGISI? AEGII? AGE OF?]
CSS: [> INSPECT EXPERIMENT 688.]
CSS: [A dark blue DODECAHEDRON that throbs with some unearthly power. You aren't quite sure what to make of it. You found it stuck to the ground one time. Neither the CAKE CLOWN nor the MASKED THIEF could pick it up, but YOU could. You haven't really tested it out yet.]
CSS: [> Examine PUN.]
CTJ ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [The PUN, otherwise known as the PIE-GUN, is a weapon you crafted yourself! It looks like it was built from PIE TINS, and that's... probably because it is. The weapon works with the POWER OF SUGGESTION — if you can make a BAD ENOUGH PUN, it'll actually shoot out PIE BULLETS and deal damage!]
CSS: [> Plot a course!]
CSS: [You already know where you're going! Vaguely. The three of you are venturing through the JUNGLES OF CROCKAZON. Legends tell of a fearsome BOSS guarding an untold PIE TREASURE TROVE. Of course, such earthly delights are CHILD'S PLAY compared to the true goal of this PIE QUEST, but you anticipate that this will be an important stop in your journey.]
CTJ ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [As it stands, you are currently face-to-face with the SNAPPING RIVER OF AGITATION. It is named as such because it AGITATES people, because it's a RIVER, and because IT IS INFESTED WITH BLOODTHIRSTY SNAPPING TURTLES. There are many VINES hanging from the TREES around, but you doubt they are sturdy enough to support any of you.]
CSS: [The CAKE CLOWN sighs, wondering how you're all supposed to get across. He sits on his BRIEFCASE and ponders.]
CSS: <0>
CAC: > build a brick bridge
CCC: > Slay a nearby tree, getting it to fall over across the river to make a bridge.
??? thaumicTheorist [?TT] ??:?? FROM ???? responded to memo.
?TT: > Shoot a tree down to make a bridge. "I'll have this done in a snap!"
CAA: > Placate the turtles with meat pies
CCL: > Search for STURDY PIES. You have BRICKS, right? Perhaps you could make a BRIDGE with CONSTRUCTION PIE, if there is any nearby.
?GG: > consıder usıng the APPLADDER to cross
CAU: > Look Jeff, a rope! We can use these to help with pits.
CCU: > JEFF COLEMAN 195 CP
?GG: pff
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 195 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 195 CP]
CSS: [> Consider using the APPLADDER to cross.]
CSS: [You consider it, briefly. Then you stop.]
CSS: [For real, though! You think it's probably likely that the SNAPPING TURTLES will just SNIP-SNAP at the POWERFUL APPLES that comprise the APPLADDER, and then you'll be up a creek witho... no, up a river without a padd... Uh. Without a ladder.]
FAU, CAU ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [> Search for sturdy pies. You have bricks, right? Perhaps you could make a bridge with construction pie, if there is any nearby.]
CSS: [The temptation to grab the INFINITUDE of PIES lurking just beyond your reach is ENORMOUS. INSURMOUNTABLE...! At least you have your two companions to steady you. You're halfway up a tree attempting to reach a pie when MASKED THIEF roundhouse kicks you into the mulchy ground floor.]
CSS: [You sigh. Combining BRICKS with PIES sounds good in THEORY, but they're more suited as WEAPONS than CONSTRUCTION MATERIALS.]
CPB ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [> Placate the turtles with meat pies.]
CSS: [You lack any such MEAT PIES! You guess you DO have COOKED STEAKS, but you were hoping to save those for later. Maybe a fancy dinner when all this blows over? A night out on the town? Is it too much to expect a happy ending these days??]
CSS: [> Slay a nearby tree, getting it to fall over across the river to make a bridge.]
CSS: [You suppose that could work! It's not like SNAPPING TURTLES will snap at WOOD, right?]
CSS: [MASKED THIEF cheerfully informs you that his many stints outrunning THE LAW in various jungles have taught him one thing above all else. SNAPPING TURTLES *LOVE* WOOD. You gulp.]
CSS: [> Shoot a tree down to make a bridge. "I'll have this done in a snap!"]
CSS: [You genuinely consider this. You wonder if you could quickly shoot down a HUGE TREE, and then quickly run across it while the SNAPPING TURTLES are busy chewing through it. You doubt they could possibly eat THAT fast. You should have more than enough time!]
CSS: [You tell CAKE CLOWN and MASKED THIEF to stand behind you as you equip the PUN. "Don't worry, guys!" you say. "I'll have this done in a SNAP!"]
CSS: [You expend a PIE BULLET, tearing a hole clean through a RATHER LARGE TREE, IF YOU DO SAY SO YOURSELF. It falls towards the RIVER OF AGITATION and collides with a massive THUNK. Oh yeah. That DEFINITELY made a sound.]
CSS: [Now's your chance!]
CSS: <0>
CAA: Welp, I have to go for a while. I'll try to be back in half an hour. Go find some pies for me.
?GG: > Contemplate knockıng DEADLY TRAP PIES(?) ınto rıver
CAC: > make a goddamn break for it!!!
CCC: > Naruto run across the bridge.
CAA: > Sprint down the tree, keeping your weapon trained on the turtles in case they get too close
CCL: > Grab your party and run like HECK. Not HELL. After all, HYPERION says NO to SWEAR WORDS. You think.
CCU: > JEFF COLEMAN 198 CP
CAU: >Youth run across the tree!
?GG: > JEFF COLEMAN 201 CP
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 201 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 201 CP]
CSS: [> Grab your party and run like heck. Not hell. After all, Hyperion says NO to swear words. You think.]
CSS: [You THINK that that's a load of BULLSHIT concocted by THE POWERS THAT B which run the MINECRAFT FORUMS. Never have you been happier to be rid of that WRETCHED PLACE. You'll still refrain from saying THAT WORD, though. HECK will do.]
CSS: [> Contemplate knocking deadly trap pies(?) into river.]
CSS: [> You contemplate this.]
CSS: [> Naruto run across the bridge.]
CSS: [You quickly begin NARUTO RUNNING across the bridge, STILL contemplating this. You jump onto the bridge and quickly aim the PUN at some VINES supporting the FOREST PIES. If you shoot correctly, you can knock them into the RIVER, directly into the TURTLES' mouths.]
CSS: [But you only have pun shot...]
CSS: [One. One shot.]
CSS: <PUN!>
?TT: Something about running and punning...
CCL: > Let out a.. *Snappy* one liner.
CUC: "Looks like it's time to tortoise (put this) to the test!"
CCU: > JEFF COLEMAN 204 CP
?GG: > CP! COCONUT PUN
CCC: > It's time to say goodpie!
CAU: > Have a VINE day.
CAA: "A gun with strength to remember. Turtle recoil."
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> It's time to say goodpie!]
CSS: [BANG. FIVE (or so) PIES of various flavors rain down onto the SNAPPING TURTLES. The ferocious creatures have already torn through a sizable portion of the TREE, but now they begin eating at the PIES.]
CSS: [...They start CHOKING. You're pretty sure PIES shouldn't be that hard to eat. You're also reasonably certain that EPISTAXIS is not a part of normal PIE-EATING. Otherwise you've been going at it all wrong.]
CSS: [Regardless, TURTLE BLOOD soon fills the RIVER OF AGITATION, which now contains VERY LITTLE SNAPPING.]
CSS: [The three of you make it to the other side, panting and heaving to yourselves. At least, YOU and CAKE CLOWN are. MASKED THIEF looks like he could do that a dozen more times without breaking a sweat. It was a PRETTY DAMN LONG RIVER, though.]
CSS: [The path ahead splits in three directions. The LEFT PATH has YELLOW TREES, the CENTER PATH has A CAVE THAT LOOKS KINDA DANGEROUS, and the RIGHT PATH has some sort of FLAG WAVING THROUGH THE TREES.]
CSS: <0>
CAC: > right path
CCL: > Twirl the PUN and pose like a team because pie just got slightly realer.
?TT: >Capture the flag!
CCL: > Right path.
CAU: > Right path!
CCL: > JEFF COLEMAN 206 CP.
CCC: > Center path! Minecraft!
?GG: (207)
CAS: > Right path
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 207 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 207 CP]
CSS: [> Right path.]
CAA ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [The three of you decide, fairly unanimously, to take the RIGHT PATH. You feel confident you've made the RIGHT CHOICE, seeing as you're currently walking TO THE RIGHT.]
CSS: [Your PUN goes off.]
CSS: [...Thankfully, you weren't aiming it at anyone in particular, but you still jumped out of your skin. You decide to holster the PUN in HAMMERSPACE until it is needed to prevent any such ACCIDENTS from occurring in the future.]
CSS: [You have 17 PIE BULLETS remaining. You think.]
CSS: [Soon, you come to a CLEARING in the JUNGLE. It looks like a group of people have set up a MAKESHIFT CAMP here! You see a RAGGEDY BUNKER, an INACTIVE CAMPFIRE, MULTIPLE CRATES OF MUNITIONS, and a FLAG.]
CSS: <0>
CCU: > JEFF COLEMAN 210 CP
?GG: > Check the crates.
CCC: > Light the bonfire, then rest at it.
CCL: > Look for people. Introduce yourselves! Keep a eye on the THIEF.
CAS: > Light the bonfire.
CAU: >Light the bonfire, save your progress.
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 210 CP]
CSS: [> Light the bonfire, then rest at it.]
CSS: [You have no means with which to light a FIRE! Thankfully, MASKED THIEF does. He walks up and unequips some FIRE from his INVENTORY, instantaneously activating the CAMPFIRE. The three of you sit at a FALLEN LOG and feel the warmth of the FIRE on your faces.]
CSS: [MASKED THIEF is a veritable MASTER at manipulating HAMMERSPACE, able to take practically ANYTHING from thin air, EVEN THE AIR. On one such ocassion, you attacked him with a FLAMETHROWER and he POCKETED the FIRE from your attack. Seems like he's still hanging onto it.]
CSS: [To contemplate his INVENTORY is to know the true meaning of INSANITY. Good thing you don't!]
CSS: [> Check the crates.]
CSS: [After spending some time vibing by the CAMPFIRE, you get up and wander over to the CRATES. You begin having second thoughts when you see the CRATES are labelled with giant Øs. Maybe... you shouldn't touch them.]
CSS: [Ah, what the HECK. One peek wouldn't hurt, huh?]
CSS: [You UNBOX a CRATE. Inside is a BURNING TEAM CAPTAIN.]
CSS: [You hear a GUN click behind your head. Slowly, HESITANTLY, you turn around.]
CSS: [You see a RED SOLDIER tell you that you have about ten seconds before he kicks your snowflake ass back to the city of GAY. You're pretty sure that GAY isn't a city, but you feel it's best not to mention that right now.]
CSS: [CAKE CLOWN and MASKED THIEF are standing up, too, watching as two more RED SOLDIERS and a RED SCOUT file out of the BUNKER. Behind them is an ADVENTUROUS-LOOKING MAN who is smoking a CIGARR. You say "CIGARR" because it's the brand PIRATES use. You can tell this guy is a PIRATE because he's wearing an EYEPATCH.]
CSS: [Also the BUNKER is labelled "PIRATE BUNKER." That fact may have been pertinent to say earlier.]
CSS: <0>
CCL: > Explain you come in peace. Glance very pointedly at the MASKED THIEF while you do so.
?GG: > How can you shoot me ıf you're ALREADY DEAD? checkmate atheısts waıt shıt scouts alıve.
CCC: > Use the middle stick to dodge RED SOLDIER's bullet!
CAU: >I come for pie, the dessert of peace.
CAC: > stand ready in a high five taunt
CUC: > Hand them the Burning Team Captain as a peace offering. That thing's valuable, after all
?GG: ıt's theır hat
?GG: ım pretty sure thats just called stealıng
?GG: > JEFF COLEMAN 213 CP
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 213 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 213 CP]
CSS: [> I come for pie, the dessert of peace.]
CSS: [You explain, as best as you can given that your voice is currently SQUEAKING like a RUBBER DUCK THAT'S BEING WATERBOARDED, that you come in PEACE. The PIRATE retorts that you're about to leave in PIECES. You aren't totally sure how to respond.]
CSS: [> Stand ready in a high five taunt.]
CSS: [You are totally sure how to respond.]
CSS: [You dig your heels into the earth, put on your most charming SMILE (straining every facial muscle you have to do so), and ready up a HIGH-FIVE FOR GREAT JUSTICE. The PIRATE stares at you quizzically.]
CSS: [He wonders if he can just sort of... reach out, and...]
CSS: [The PIRATE skewers you with a LANCE a lot.]
CSS: [You whip out the PUN, and it fires immediately.]
CSS: [The two of you stumble to your knees, breathing heavily. YOU have lost 3 HP, and the PIRATE has lost 1 HEALTH.]
CSS: [> Hand them the Burning Team Captain as a peace offering. That thing's valuable, after all.]
CSS: [It's their hat. You're pretty sure that's just called STEALING.]
CSS: [The spot of CAKE CLOWN's nervous system that twitches whenever it senses COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT twitches.]
CSS: [You sense that MELEE is VIRTUALLY INEVITABLE at this stage, seeing as you've literally been shot! You and your companions ready up, and...]
CSS: [SUPER
CSS: SMAAAASH BROTHERSSSS
CSS: MEEEELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE]
CSS: [You are accosted by RED DEAD, three RED SOLDIERS, and one RED SCOUT.]
CSS: <0>
CCL: > FU-- UH, FRICK SORRY POWERS THAT B. Whip out your MELEE DECK! As a final peace offering, pay respects to RICK MAY, with bullets.
?GG: > honestly, I prefer ULTIMATE. (POISONALLY, I PREFER THE AIR!)
?GG: > put the hat ın your ınventory
CPD: > use the Icethrower, Ice is blue and is the mortal enemy of Red right ??
CCU: > JEFF COLEMAN 216 CP
CCC: > Down throw one of the RED SOLDIERS, then combo into two up tilts, then a series of up airs, culminating with your up-B.
CAC: > throw experiment 688 at the ground and HIT THE DECK
CCL: > JEFF COLEMAN 219 CP
CURRENT absurdistAstroctat [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: (What is going on? Are we [x]d?)
CAS: > "I'm afraid I won't be the one... biting the bullet."
?GG: not yet were startıng a pırate fıght
CAA: Okay good
CAA: > Aggressively play Plastunak Beach
CAU: >Shine rapidly.
CURRENT teeeeeJeeeee [CTJ] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTJ: [y]
CAS ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 219 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 219 CP]
CSS: [> FU-- UH, FRICK SORRY POWERS THAT B. Whip out your MELEE DECK! As a final peace offering, pay respects to RICK MAY, with bullets.]
CSS: [You take out your MELEE DECK and snap your fingers, the cards shuffling themselves. RED DEAD leers, doing the same with his own fearsome MELEE CHEST. Looks like a proper load of PIRATE'S BOOTY for sure.]
CSS: [You prepare to unload your PUN with righteous fury, but... you forgot to actually say a PUN! RED DEAD smirks, taking the attack of opportunity and rushing at you! You're grazed with his LANCE, taking 1 DAMAGE.]
CSS: [> Put the hat in your inventory.]
CSS: [You reach into the CRATE and take the BURNING TEAM CAPTAIN for yourself. RED DEAD and his compatriots are practically frothing with anger. You question if that was such a good idea.]
CSS: [> Use the Icethrower, Ice is blue and is the mortal enemy of red, right?]
CSS: [You don't see why not! You holster the PUN and quickly withdraw the ICETHROWER, a special contraption you made with the help of the CAKE CLOWN. You pull the trigger and aim the nozzle at an advancing RED SOLDIER, blowing an unavoidable CYCLONE OF FROST directly at him. The brute takes 3 DAMAGE and is FROZEN for a turn!]
CSS: [> Down throw one of the Red Soldiers, then combo into two up tilts, then a series of up airs, culminating with your up-B.]
CSS: [Your plentiful time spent on the STREETS has prepared you for some STREET FIGHTING, if you do say so yourself. ...Your PUN fires, but hits no one. You quickly jump at the RED SOLDIER you FROZE earlier, your RIGHTEOUS COMBO OF AGGRESSION dealing 4 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [> Throw EXPERIMENT 688 at the ground and HIT THE DECK.]
CSS: [You take out the dodecahedron and glare at it. Time to see what this puppy can do. Against your better judgement, you give it a kiss and lob it into the crowd of RED ENEMIES. All of them see it and tense up, backing away. Nothing happens.]
CSS: [It blinks brightly once.]
CSS: [Then twice.]
CSS: [An assortment of jagged, infinitely sharp tendrils gush from the surface of the dodecahedron, impaling RED DEAD, two RED SOLDIERS, YOU, and MASKED THIEF. Darkened blood splatters the area, and the only thing that gives you solace is hearing all of them SHRIEK.]
CSS: [3 DAMAGE to RED DEAD! 4 DAMAGE to a RED SOLDIER! 2 DAMAGE to a RED SOLDIER! 4 DAMAGE to YOU! 1 DAMAGE to MASKED THIEF!]
CSS: [EXPERIMENT 688 hardens and flies back into your INVENTORY.]
CSS: [> "I'm afraid I won't be the one... biting the bullet."]
CSS: [You take out your trusty PUN once more, aiming it at... at... Oh god, you forgot to aim!! You shoot blindly!]
CSS: [The PUN's shot goes wide, aiming right for MASKED THIEF! He's blown backwards and slams into a tree!]
CSS: [He sags into its weight...]
CSS: [Then stands up, unharmed.]
CSS: [The BULLET fires from his current position at full speed, passing through RED DEAD's shoulder. 1 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [You gawk at his HAMMERSPACE SKILLS once more.]
CSS: [CAKE CLOWN emits a PIERCING LEER and flashsteps through the crowd, appearing behind the RED SCOUT and decking him with the BRIEFCASE. 1 DAMAGE! The SCOUT is unceremoniously flung into the CAMPFIRE by the attack, and becomes BURNED for a turn! He takes an additional 1 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [MASKED THIEF calmlly walks up to the RED SCOUT, who is shaking furiously as he attempts to steady himself. He then places his hand on the SCOUT'S head and puts his BRAIN into his inventory.]
CSS: [The SCOUT falls over, dead.]
CSS: [RED DEAD's skin assumes a bright shade of scarlet. You didn't know it was POSSIBLE for someone to be this livid.]
CSS: [RED DEAD summons his AEGIS, PARRY-KEET! The trustworthy kaleidoscopic parrot flutters at MASKED THIEF, attempting to ECHO his attack right back at him! CAKE CLOWN quickly shields the blow with his GROUCHO SEINFELD MASK, but the force of the attack incinerates the mask!]
CSS: [CAKE CLOWN skids backwards, having taken 3 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [The two RED SOLDIERS that aren't FROZEN fire their TOMISLAVS at MASKED THIEF! One hits, dealing 2 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [You grimace, staring RED DEAD in his sunken eyes. He laughs. It seems this is MUCH more than "personal" for him now. The two of you grab the first cards from your MELEE DECKS. One... two... DRAW!]
CSS: [You draw the 10 OF DIAMONDS! RED DEAD draws the 10...]
CSS: [...of CLUBS!]
CSS: [Ten shimmering red diamonds fashion themselves into KUNAI before your very eyes, blasting through RED DEAD'S body! 3 DAMAGE to him!]
CSS: PIE GUY: 5/12 HP. CAKE CLOWN: 15/18 HP. MASKED THIEF: 5/8 HP. RED DEAD: 12/20 HP. RED SOLDIER: 3/10 HP. Frozen. RED SOLDIER: 6/10 HP. RED SOLDIER: 8/10 HP.
CSS: <0>
CCL: > Ask if they'll stand down if you return the hat. Pay respects to RICK MAY, opening fire with.. "This MAY hurt a little."
CCC: > Eat the Scout's crispy corpse to recover HP. Or y'know, just eat a pie. That'd probably work.
CAC: > realise the words "FROZEN fire" appeared a few messages back. Use the frozen flame to summon Blank Banshee.
CPD: > eat a Pie to restore HP
CAU: > Pray to increase your PIEty meter.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> Pray to increase your PIEty meter.]
CSS: [YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING.]
CSS: [> Eat a pie to restore HP.]
CSS: [Acting fast, you consume one piece of your AMAZING PIE SUPPLY. +5 HP!]
CSS: [> Ask if they'll stand down if you return the hat. Pay respects to Rick May, opening fire with "this MAY hurt a little."]
CSS: [RED DEAD spits at your feet. Going through their precious CARGO was a sin enough. Do you know how HARD they worked to STEAL THAT LOOT?? But NOW, after you rummage through their THINGS, you BUTCHER HIS BEST MAN.]
CSS: [...Okay, ONE OF HIS BEST MEN. He has to admit the RED SCOUT had a lot to learn in the way of COMBAT. Probably would have survived longer if he was cooler.]
CSS: [But still! NEVER. PEACE IS NOT AN OPTION.]
CSS: [So it's a good thing you quickly fire with your PUN upon the RED SOLDIERS. The FROZEN RED SOLDIER shatters into about thirty-seven pieces. MASKED THIEF puts six in his INVENTORY.]
CSS: [> Realize the words "FROZEN fire" appeared a few messages back. Use the frozen flame to summon Blank Banshee.]
CSS: [You snap your fingers. You may not have the ability to SUMMON MUSIC, but you know someone who DOES. CAKE CLOWN takes out his TRUSTY ACCORDION from his BRIEFCASE and begins ACCORDIONING TEEN PREGNANCY at BLISTERING SPEEDS. BLANK BANSHEE, a patron saint of VAPORWAVE, descends from the heavens.]
CSS: [He calls upon MEGA, a kaleidoscopic meteor of conflict, and deals 2 DAMAGE to one SOLDIER and 3 DAMAGE to the other!]
CSS: [CAKE CLOWN then equips a BARBASOL CAN and shakes it REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hard before lobbing it at a RED SOLDIER. The vile concoction traps a RED SOLDIER in a maelstrom of shaving cream, fire, and pain, dealing another 2 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [MASKED THIEF asks the RED SOLDIERS if they'd like to hold a FUNERAL for their other SOLDIER. The two of them, TERRIFIED OF HIS ANTICS, adamantly refuse. He shrugs and skewers them each with three FROZEN RED SOLDIER PIECES anyway, dealing an unavoidable 3 DAMAGE each! This kills them both.]
CSS: [RED DEAD is the only man left standing. He grimaces at you, CAKE CLOWN, and MASKED THIEF, and quickly grabs one of the CRATES next to him. He unboxes it, pulling out an AUSTRALIUM MINIGUN called "EMERALD NOVA." You briefly wonder where he stole that gun from. Then he starts shooting.]
CSS: [The spread of the gun is so intense that you can't possibly dodge every single bullet! You take 2 DAMAGE, CAKE CLOWN takes 5 DAMAGE, and MASKED THIEF takes 1 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [Having had MORE than enough of this CHARADE, you prepare to settle the score with RED DEAD, readying your MELEE DECK. One... two... DRAW!]
CSS: [You draw the ACE OF DIAMONDS! RED DEAD draws the ACE...]
CSS: [...OF HEARTS!]
CSS: [You phew a sigh of relief, RED DEAD screaming OBSCENITIES to any god that will listen as he is crushed by a DIAMOND BLOCK FROM MINECRAFT EXCEPT IT'S RED. He takes 5 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [PIE GUY: 8/12 HP. CAKE CLOWN: 10/18 HP. MASKED THIEF: 4/8 HP. RED DEAD: 7/20 HP.
CAA: > Be RED DEAD's pants.
?GG: > Wonder how he's shootıng you wıth a GOLDEN HAIRPIN.
CUC: > Fire your PUN at RED DEAD, opening fire with the pun of "Looks like you won't get a REDEMPTION arc, pal."
CCC: > Teabag preemptively, smashing RED DEAD with your body as you do so.
CCU: ((YOU FOOLS! HE HASN'T BLESSED US WITH THE HOLY VISAGE OF THE CHAOS BUTTERFLY!))
CSS: ((oh shit i forgot <0>))
CCL: > Be RED DEAD's EVIL PANTS. You know the ones!
CSS: ((dont worry ))
?GG: ((and the closing bracket lmao))
CAC: > flirt with the minigun to win it over to your side. BATTLE TECHNIQUE: EMERALD CASANOVA.
CAU: >Jump on his head three times, like the good old days.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> Flirt with the minigun to win it over to your side. BATTLE TECHNIQUE: EMERALD CASANOVA.]
CCU: > The Chaos Butterfly failed to show in text-update form, meaning that it is now appearing in real life to kill you all. Oh god. Oh fuck. Also JEF COLEMAN 219 CP.
CCU: ((I DIDN'T SEE SORRY))
CSS: [Through some sort of METATEXTUAL TRANSITIVE PROPERTY, the EMERALD NOVA seems to recognize YOU as its owner! It flies out of RED DEAD'S hands and into yours, but he quickly summons PARRY-KEET to RE-RE-STEAL the NOVA! The two of you are engaged in a fearsome TUG-OF-WAR!]
CSS: [> Be RED DEAD'S pants.]
CSS: [You are now RED DEAD'S pants. You recognize that you belong to a pirate warlord who you ASSUME is pretty fierce and well-respected in wherever he comes from, but you've always felt too basic. Too PLAIN. Like you could use a wardrobe change!]
CSS: [>Be RED DEAD'S EVIL PANTS. You know the ones!]
CSS: [NOW you're talking. You spontaneously become EVIL. The word EVIL appears on your fabric like a bazillion times. And what better way to be evil than... UNEXPECTED WARDROBE MALFUNCTION?!]
CSS: [You are now JEFF COLEMAN. RED DEAD'S pants have just fallen down. His BOXERS display images of BLACKBEARD. PARRY-KEET's concentration snaps and the EMERALD NOVA falls into your arms, knocking you backwards. You are unable to think of a proper attack.]
CSS: [> The Chaos Butterfly failed to show in text-update form, meaning that it is now appearing in real life to kill you all. Oh god. Oh fuck. Also JEFF COLEMAN 219 CP.]
CSS: [The TIMESPACE CONTINUUM explicably tears. The most terrifying thing you have ever seen lurches from the oozing, gaping wound. A BUTTERFLY made from THE PERPENDICULAR CORNERS OF EVERY DIMENSION, ROTTING FLESH, AN ASSORTMENT OF ORGANS, PLANTS, CRYSTAL, AND OTHER MATTER, BLOOD, VITREOUS FLUID, and CRIMSON appears.]
CSS: [IT CRUSHES RED DEAD FLAT, SACRIFICING HIS S<0>UL T<0> THE LIMITLESS WHIMS <0>F ENTR<0>PY.]
CSS: [Then it disappears.]
CSS: [6 DAMAGE!]
CSS: [...JEFF COLEMAN 219 CP]
CSS: [> Fire your PUN at RED DEAD, opening fire with the pun of "Looks like you won't get a REDEMPTION arc, pal."]
CSS: [What more can you possibly say? Cool as a CUCUMBER QUEST, you fire your PUN upon RED DEAD. He shows no attempt to ATONE as you GUN HIM DOWN.]
CSS: [RED DEAD killed!]
CSS: [YOU DID A DO!!!1]
CSS: [PIE GUY: +2 MAX HP! CAKE CLOWN: +1 MAX HP! MASKED THIEF: +2 MAX HP!]
CSS: [PIE GUY has gained LANCE A LOT! MASKED THIEF has gained ECHOFEATHER!]
CSS: [The campsite is now empty.]
CSS: <0>
CAU: >Default dance as a team.
CCU: >Inspect new Emerald Nova. Also JEFF COLEMAN 222 CP
CAC: JEFF COLEMAN 225 CP
CPD: > JEFF COLEMAN 228 CP
CUC: > Conga.
CCL: > Inspect SICK L00T1!!1!1
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 228 CP]
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 228 CP]
CSS: [> Default dance as a team.]
CSS: [If you were to do such a thing, you would voluntarily restrain yourself upside-down from the ceiling for a period of exactly TWO WEEKS. You find yourself wishing there was some alternate way to name such a time period, but none immediately come to mind.]
CSS: [> Conga.]
CSS: [Oh HELL yes. The three of you CONGA around the CAMPFIRE while you inspect the SPOILS OF WAR.]
CSS: [> Inspect new EMERALD NOVA.]
CSS: [New EMERALD NOVA, same as the old EMERALD NOVA. Any old FOOL would pass it off as a solid gold MINIGUN and move on, but you know better. It is a solid AUSTRALIUM MINIGUN, and AUSTRALIUM is one of the most powerful resources on the planet! Plus the weapon glows GREEN sometimes, ain't that neat?]
CSS: [You suddenly forget what you're even talking about as you examine the GOLDEN HAIRPIN. Huh. You put it in your INVENTORY where it belongs.]
CSS: [> Inspect SICK LOOT1!!1!1]
CSS: [LANCE A LOT seems to have been RED DEAD'S weapon of choice. A pretty standard-fare PIRATE LANCE, all things considered. The ECHOFEATHER is of more interest, though. The PARRY-KEET flew off after its owner was KILLED, but it left a bunch of its feathers in its wake.]
CSS: [This one is multicolored, shifting from green to amethyst. You get the keen feeling that it will allow the wielder to repeat whatever attack was just thrown at them on the person who attacked them.]
CSS: [You contemplate if you can say that five times fast.]
CSS: [As that fight took much longer than you expected, you find yourself, CAKE CLOWN, and MASKED THIEF once again sitting around the CAMPFIRE. You pass around some PIES for HEALTH-RESTORATION PURPOSES.]
CAA ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [You regain +4 HP! CAKE CLOWN regains +8 HEALTH! MASKED THIEF regains +4 HEALTH! You use up 4 PIES to do this.]
CSS: <0>
CCU: > JEFF COLEMAN 231 CP
?GG: > Wow these pıes are a bıt shıttıer than the last one we ate huh. oh well
CAC: > inexplicably stumble upon the third soul gem
CCL: > Check around for SOUL GEMs.
?GG: do we really want to use our actıon to steal the soul gem though
CCL: yes;'
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF COLEMAN 231 CP]
CSS: [> Check around for SOUL GEMS.]
CSS: [You refuse to check for SOUL GEMS, or anything that might even sound or LOOK like a "SOUL GEM," because to you, that sounds like some DUMBASS WEEB SHIT. You REFUSE to be a part of that. NO THANK YOU.]
CSS: [CAKE CLOWN is torso-deep in the underbelly of a CRATE and says hey guys come check what I found!]
CSS: [He pulls out some weird trinket that looks like a FABERGE EGG. It flickers with goldenrod.]
CSS: <0>
CTJ ceased responding to memo.
?GG: > Say "God damn ıt.
?GG: "
CUC: > Say "God dammit."
CAC: > First, be god. Then, damn it.
CCL: > Godmodderdamnit.
CCC: > Say "God damn it", but with a dramatic close-up zoom.
CAU: > Say "God damn it", but with a dramatic wide shot.
CCU: > Say "God Damn it," but JEFF COLEMAN 234 CP
?GG: > Whıle Coleman ıs busy sayıng "God damn ıt", steal the gem and also the mınıgun.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> Say "God damn it.
CSS: "]
CSS: [> Say "God dammit."]
CSS: [> Say god damn it," but with a dramatic close-up zoom.]
CSS: [> Say "God damn it," but with a dramatic wide shot.]
CSS: [> Say "God Damn it," but JEFF COLEMAN 234 CP]
CSS: [You say god damn it.
CSS: ]
CSS: [Then you say god damnit again.]
CSS: [Then you say god damnit again, but it zooms in on you.]
CSS: [Then you say goddamnit again, but it zooms away from you.]
CSS: [Then you say goddamnit, but]
CSS: [JEFF MASON 234 CP]
CCU: ((>MASON))
CSS: ((FUCK))
CSS: [JEFF COLEMAN 234 CP]
CSS: [Then you turn to look and the weird FABERGE EGG is gone.]
CSS: [. . .]
CSS: [Your name is JEFF MASON.]
CSS: [> Whıle Coleman ıs busy sayıng "God damn ıt", steal the gem and also the mınıgun.]
CSS: [You crack your knuckles. You're almost certain you can only take ONE object, and given the circumstances, you KNOW which one it should be.]
CSS: [You slip through the DOORFRAME. You are now in the MEMORY IN THE PAST. While JEFF COLEMAN is busy CURSING and MASKED THIEF is busy looking at him, you waltz in and steal the SOUL GEM from CAKE CLOWN.]
CSS: [He looks at you. You look at him.]
CSS: [He grins with a grin FAR too wide for his mouth, and nods.]
CSS: [As soon as you slip back through the DOORFRAME, the DOOR slams shut, and the KALEIDOSCOPIC LIGHT surrounding it fades.]
CSS: [SOUL GEMS COLLECTED: 3/6.]
CSS: [You contemplate ERASING the SYMBOL and trying a new one.]
CSS: ["What's the plan, Interrobang?" LOZENGE says. "That memory... certainly didn't seem like it belonged to you."]
CSS: ["I'm aware of that," you say. "I think I understand what's going on. I'll explain later."]
CSS: [What's the plan?]
CSS: <0>
CCU: >inspect who's soul gem the goldenrod soul gem belongs to, also JEFF MASON 237 CP
CCL: > Truffle Shuffle Default Dance with the rest of the Superiors. Also do <0> for the symbol.
?GG: > Draw a Splıt Sun
CUC: > Draw an <0>.
CAU: >Inspect all soul gems together, actually.
CCC: > "The plan is to turn soul jim to greef sid"
CAC: > draw the aperture insignia
CAC: > actually no i second the split sun
CSS: I don't want another split opinion. Tiebreaker between Split Sun and <0>, go.
CCL: <0>
CCU: > <0>
CUC: you're not a tiebreaker
CCC: <0>
CUC: but tazz is
?GG: aıght that's tıe broken
CCL: tie broken. DADDY disapointed.
CUC: > DADDY: Fix tie.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> Inspect whose soul gem the goldenrod soul gem belongs to. Also JEFF MASON 237 CP.]
CSS: [JEFF MASON 237 CP]
CSS: [You look over the SOUL GEM as you slot it into the INFINITY GAUNTLET. The thing hums with a very peculiar type of energy. You feel like it'd be LAUGHING if it could make sound. You don't really know many GOLDENROD people besides... HIM, of course.]
CSS: [> Inspect all soul gems together, actually.]
CSS: [You inspect all three SOUL GEMS that you have found thus far. Though all of them were in their EGG-LIKE CONTAINERS prior to you grabbing them, upon slotting them into the INFINITY GAUNTLET, they look more like the INFINITY STONES themselves than anything else — multifaceted gems of unimaginable power.]
CSS: [All three of them have lost almost all of their luster, of course. One would have been green, another would have been perwinkle, and the third would have been goldenrod.]
CSS: [> Draw a Split Sun.]
CCU: ((> didnt' chaos butterfly win))
CSS: [You ERASE the :() on the TALL GRAY DOOR.]
CSS: Oh shit I'm a tool.
CSS: [> Draw <0>.]
CSS: [You STILL ERASE the :() on the TALL GRAY DOOR.]
CSS: [You draw <0> onto the DOOR. It lights up with KALEIDOSCOPIC FLAME and ACTIVATES.]
CSS: [You OPEN it.]
CSS: [. . .]
CCC ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [Your name is JEFF MASON. You are currently at SOME POINT IN THE PAST. Right now, you are in an OBSIDIAN CHAMBER interrogating IRECREEPER, a DESCENDANT of the GODMODDING WARS, on the nature of APOCRYPHA. A single light is swaying from the ceiling, casting everything in an uncertain glow.]
CSS: [Doesn't seem like he's one to talk, though. Motherfucker is STONE COLD.]
CSS: [That's alright. You can wait. You have all the time in the world. You turn to look at the FAR WALL. Behind it, AMPERSAND lurks. He nods imperceptibly at you.]
CSS: [You aren't totally sure what to do, but you can vibe with whatever.]
CSS: <0>
?GG: > Decıde to play some BULLET HELL games.
CURRENT aimlessAscendant [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: > Threaten to summon the Chaos Butterfly if he doesn't talk
CCL: > Whip out a nameplate showing the symbol of <0>.
CAU: >Roll a D20 for intimidation.
CAC: > break a chair for every minute he doesnt talk
CPD: > JEFF MASON 237 CP
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON 237 CP]
CSS: [JEFF MASON 237 CP]
CSS: [> Break a chair for every minute he doesn't talk.]
CSS: [You're reasonably certain that this is a good strategy. As far as you can remember, IRECREEPER LOVES chairs. You're pretty sure he has a whole world made from them, or something? You don't quite remember. But then, that's why you're here. And that's why HE'S here.]
CSS: [You break a CHAIR regardless. The wood splinters EASILY under your kaleidoscopic palm. If the open display of power makes IRECREEPER nervous, he doesn't say. Again. STONE. COLD.]
CSS: [> Roll a D20 for intimidation.[
CSS: [You roll a RANDOM.ORG, but in your head, for INTIMIDATION. Although you have INFINITE POWER and could HYPOTHETICALLY obfuscate the roll so it is guaranteed to roll a 20, you feel that, out of fairness, you'll do this one fair and square.]
CSS: [...]
CSS: [You roll a 12.]
CSS: [You give IRECREEPER an UNCOMFORTABLE OGLE behind your RED GLASSES. Not bad, you think to yourself. Not bad at all. But it could have been better. IT COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT.]
CSS: [You break another CHAIR.]
CSS: [> Whip out a nameplate showing the symbol of <0>.]
CSS: [
CSS: ["Let's cut to the chase," you say, getting up from your own chair. You withdraw into the safety of your COAT and pull out a very special NAMEPLATE, slamming it onto the table and sliding it to IRECREEPER'S vicinity. It is emblazoned with a <0>. "I want you to tell me everything you know about this symbol."]
CSS: [You break another chair.]
CSS: ]
CSS: <0>
CUC: > <0>
?GG: ((wait does ire talking constitute his being interrogated or))
CURRENT crankyCreeper [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCC: > Be Irecreeper for a second, and repair the chairs he just broke, because you can do that.
CPD: > check if he's...present and not hiding in his mind or something
FUTURE pesterClient280 [FPC] 1025 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FPC: > Consider contacting CHAOSCREEPER instead.
FPC ceased responding to memo.
CCL: > Tell Ire <0>'s after him too. You see some very unpleasant, thymey things in his future if he doesn't talk.
CAC: > invoke ire, but seethingly
CUC: > Seethe Ire.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> <0>]
CAA: > Be Irecreeper's pants, tell Interrobang everything you've seen- Uh, everything <0>-related you've seen.
CSS: [You aren't totally sure how to interpret this. If you KNEW the power of <0>, you wouldn't need to BE here, exactly. But you don't — not fully, anyway.]
CAA ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [> Check if he's... present and not hiding in his mind or something.]
CSS: ["Hey, Irecreeper," you say. "What is being meduka?"]
CSS: <0>
CAC: > *dungkaka voice* SUFFER
CAU: > S U F F E R I N G
CCC: > "sorry what'd you say"
CSS: [x]
CSS: ["Sorry, what'd you say?" he says.]
CSS: [You glare. "Good enough. Now I know you're in there."]
CSS: [You break another CHAIR.]
CURRENT aimlessAscendant [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: [S] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrJu3KrQ230 - Undertale OST: 043 - Temmie Village - 10 hours version
CSS: [> Be Irecreeper for a second, and repair the chairs he just broke, because you can do that.]
CAA: (crap, sorry, didn't mean to press enter
CSS: [You are now IRECREEPER. Look at all this mess! Someone's gotta take care of things.]
CSS: [You repair the CHAIRS that this icky MAN IN BLACK destroyed. Soon, an ARMY OF CHAIRS surrounds him. Is he... sweating?]
CSS: [You are now JEFF MASON and you have never wished physical pain upon the narrative prompt until THIS VERY MOMENT. If it were possible you would smite it with the force of ten billion RAINBOWS simultaneously, the LIGHT of every SPECTRUM searing existence to the BOILING POINT.]
CSS: [YOU BREAK ANOTHER CHAIR.]
CCC: > Be Irecreeper again, and fix the chair.
CSS: [If he wants to play dirty, then FINE. Two can play at that game.]
CSS: [> Be Irecreeper again, and fix the chair.]
CSS: [You are now IRECREEPER again. You fix the CHAIR. Really, was that necessary? Come on.]
CSS: [You are now JEFF MASON. Again. Tendrils of red energy stream from your eyes. You ignore everyone else's commands. They don't matter.]
CSS: ["LISTEN," you say, slamming your hands onto the table. The obsidian cracks, as has your facade.]
CSS: [...You recompose yourself.]
CSS: ["Listen," you hear yourself say. "I brought you here because I wanted to gain some insight into the inner workings of the world, alright? I don't know how much you know about me, but I'll make this brief."]
CSS: ["I have knowledge of every timeline and every universe. Every facet of the Void. Every pocket dimension. Every event from the dawn of time to the end of man. Some would call this 'omniscience,' I guess. But it's more complicated than that."]
CSS: ["I only have cognizance of Fiction. That sounds absolute, and it should be! But in practice, it's not. Fiction is shaped by its tellers, and we've got a mason at the helm, if you understand. He has a very particular worldview, and for whatever reason, you aren't a part of it." You adjust your glasses. "At least, not entirely."]
CSS: ["I've never claimed to understand apocrypha, but I can sure as hell try," you say. "Better than any of the rest of them can, anyway. I know what it's like. So I'm asking you. Politely."]
CSS: [You tap the NAMEPLATE. "What do you know about the Chaos Butterfly."]
CSS: <0>
CCL: > Replace the man's weird glasses with chair shaped ones.
CAA: > Irecreeper: Play that song while you answer, but for real this time
CAA: Because nothing says important exposition like temmies
CCC: > "Not too much, really."
CURRENT apocalypticTerminator [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAT: > Irecreeper: Say "ok boomer" then play nick-nack on Jeff's thumb
CAA: ((Yes, I am listening to Temmie Village until this scene ends.))
CCC: > "They only literally live inside of me, is all."
CCC: > "Also, smile."
CCC: > "Wait, I didn't mean to put that in quotes."
CCC: > Smile. Smile at them.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [An INFERNAL RACKET FORGED FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE UNDERGROUND plays on the loudspeakers that you didn't know you had installed in this wretched cell. Fucking DESCENDANTS.]
CSS: ["Not too much, really," Irecreeper says. "They literally only live inside of me, is all." He SMILES.]
CSS: [Your RED GLASSES turn MAGENTA. Your LEFT HAND curls into a FIST, KALEIDOSCOPIC FLAME forming around it. "I... see," you say.]
CSS: [The air in the cell has run COLD. You feel as though you've vastly underestimated your position here.]
CSS: ["Your name... IS Irecreeper, correct?" you say.]
CSS: <0>
CCL: > Be WARE.
CCC: > "Actually, some people call me WARE, but that's cool too."
CAT: > "No it's actually Captainsparklez. Can I go home now?"
CCC: > "Can I go home yet?"
CCU: > JEFF MASON 240 CP.
?GG: (pretty sure ıts just ıre talkıng rn_
CCU: > WARE 999,996 CP
CAC: JEFF MASON 243 CP.
CUC: ((yeah i'm fairly certain it's just ire who should be talking here))
CSS: [x]
CSS: ["Actually, some people call me WARE, but that's cool too. Can I go home yet?"]
CSS: [You feel your HEART sink into your STOMACH.]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON 243 CP]
CSS: [You are vaguely aware of same external force ticking up your power. JEFF MASON 243 CP]
CSS: [Then you feel an absolutely inconceivable force surging through a veritable OCEAN of power. WARE 999,996 CP]
CSS: [You begin to panic.]
CSS: ["Alright, well. It seems. That I may. Have made a mistake." You grab at the OBSIDIAN TABLE, demolishing its corner. It crumbles under your FIST. "Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot."]
CCC: > "hell yeah crush that table"
CSS: ["I'm not here to punish you, or torture you, or harrass you in any way, understand?" You attempt to unclench your FIST. You cannot. "I only want knowledge. I just want to—"]
CSS: ["what"]
CSS: ["why"]
CCC: > "Why not?"
CSS: ["Do you... do you not like tables?"]
CCC: > "Did you not know that?"
CSS: ["Wait. What am I saying. Of course you don't like tables. You were at war with Tabletopia, weren't you? Something to that effect."]
CSS: ["The, uh. The specifics are VERY blurry. Apocrypha was never my strong suit, truthfully. I guess that's what happens when you're dubiously canon."]
CSS: ["So... Let me start from what I know, I suppose."]
CSS: [You sit down.]
CSS: ["I don't know how much you know of MTT INDUSTRIES, but I'm ASSUMING you know of Project Binary. It was our... claim to fame, I guess you could call it."]
CSS: ["Your butterfly found its way into Binary's terminal. You all — the Descendants — FUCKED with it, for lack of a better word. Fed it entropy. Ran hypothetical world-ending scenarioes. Hyped it up as a world-killer, praising its scales, its wings, its... chaos."]
CCC: > Slowly get bored with exposition.
CSS: ["One way or another, it leaked into our reality. Our Fiction. I'm not saying it was YOU, but it was SOMEONE. The thing manifested in my brother's room... You'd probably know him as TwinBuilder. Actually managed to cause a lot of havoc, it was pretty cool."]
CSS: ["Broke the Zeroth Disc, even. Not that you'd know what THAT is, but, still."]
CCC: > Bored bored bored.
CSS: ["The evidence on this is more spotty, but allegedly, the attack opened up some kind of tear between canons. Pinary was able to manifest in YOUR Fiction, however temporarily. Some arcane realm of grids and chaos, from what I've gleaned. I was never one for strategy games, really, but hey."]
CSS: ["Waatever works."]
CCC: > Throw like three Seekers into the room for 3 CP, just for giggles.
CSS: [You back away, toppling the chair over. "JESUS!"]
CCC: > Laugh as the Seekers run around, knocking over Chairs, and- wait, that's offensive to you. Oh well.
CSS: [You then wonder why you just said that. AMPERSAND glares at your heresy. You vaguely motion at the peculiar brand of COMPLETELY FUCKED SHIT that is currently wandering towards you.]
CSS: ["Okay, I've had enough of this," you say as you look at the SEEKERS ransacking the room. "Fuckin, uh, help me out here guys."]
CSS: <0>
CAT: > "no"
CCL: > no
CURRENT augmentedUnagi [CAU] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAU: > Do you want outside assistance?
CAA: > Cast Armageddon Bag
CCU: > JEFF MASON 240 CP
CCU: >WARE 999,996 CP
CAA: > It's the most powerful spell in Thymium, it should make short work of the Seekers
CAC: O O O O /O\ O O O O the little fuckers
?GG: > Cast Relınquısh Wıll to control Ware.
CCL: > Cast Armageddon Bag
CCL: > WARE 999,999 CP
?GG: > Also cast Armageddon Bag
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> No.]
CSS: ["Wow, THANKS," you say. "I'm so glad I can count on you when I need your help the most. Really!"]
CSS: [You vaguely wonder if IREC—WARE knows who you're talking to. You really, REALLY hope not.]
CSS: [> Do you want outside assistance?]
CSS: ["No, why do you think I asked???"]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON 240 CP]
CSS: [Now that's more like it. JEFF MASON 240 CP]
CSS: [> WARE 999,999 CP]
CSS: [That... that is NOT more like it. WARE 999,999 CP]
CSS: [The SEEKERS shudder and spasm with unholy fuchsia energy, the pinpricks of their eyes gaining DIAMONDS that stretch out in the visage of an IMMORTAL CELL. A low, deep drumbeat fills the room. "No," you say. "Oh no no no no."]
CSS: [> Cast Armageddon Bag.]
CSS: [You'll be DAMNED if you know what this does, but you'll be DOUBLED DAMNED if you're not gonna use it. You prepare to cast ARMAGEDDON BAG.]
CSS: [Except that as you watch, one of the SEEKERS grabs the <0> NAMEPLATE in the middle of the table. WARE smirks as the SEEKER lifts it up to its mouth.]
CSS: [You drop the SPELL, leap over the TABLE, and ready both of your FISTS as they gleam with the SIXTH HAND OF THE OVERSEER'S MIGHT.]
CSS: [The SEEKER swallows the NAMEPLATE.]
CSS: [...]
CCC: > "wait, was that important, or"
CSS: [The NAMEPLATE shatters.]
CSS: [The CURSE becomes unbound.]
CSS: <0>
CSS: <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0>
CSS: <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0> <0>
CCU: > JEFF MASON UH WAIT ALL OF THOSE ARE TURN SYMBOLS
?GG: <0>k seeker
CAU: > Well, don't say I didn't warn you. Time to call in the cavalry.
CAU ceased responding to memo.
CCU: > LIKE 2,400 CP
?TT: >: what in the fuck did I miss
CCL: <0>w<0>
CAC: > can you... use orchid godhead?
CUC: > WE NEED TO COUNTER THE <0>s
CAT: > :fear:
CUC: > [x]
CSS: [WARE's body violently ruptures, a plume of scarlet limbs and energy howling from the gash. It assembles the form of a DEMENTED INSECT with WINGS that have TAPESTRY OF MULTIFACETED CANON on them, and TOO MANY EYES to count. Its limbs SKITTER and SPLAY across the ROOM, tearing gashes across the OBSIDIAN.]
CAA: > Take advantage of all the turn signals to take dozens of turns in a row
CSS: ["Y<0>U WANTED T<0> KN<0>W THE TRUTH? HERE IT IS.]
CSS: ["IT IS CHA<0>S."]
CSS: [You are accosted by the CHAOS BUTTERFLY.]
CSS: [The beast laughs at your struggles. <=#aa0000>WHAT D<0> Y<0>U THINK GIVES Y<0>U THE P<0>WER T<0> TWIST THE VIEWP<0>INT IN THE FIRST PLACE? CHANGE. ENTR<0>PY. CHA<0>S ITSELF. I AM BEHIND IT ALL. Y<0>U HAVE N<0> TURN."]
CSS: [The beast laughs at your struggles. WHAT D<0> Y<0>U THINK GIVES Y<0>U THE P<0>WER T<0> TWIST THE VIEWP<0>INT IN THE FIRST PLACE? CHANGE. ENTR<0>PY. CHA<0>S ITSELF. I AM BEHIND IT ALL. Y<0>U HAVE N<0> TURN."]
CSS: [The CHAOS BUTTERFLY swipes at you. You are sent hurtling through the OBSIDIAN WALL, smashing into the VIEWING CHAMBER where AMPERSAND lies. Scrapes and gashes cover your body as you struggle to stand.]
CSS: ["I... don't... CARE."]
CSS: [Your RED GLASSES flare.]
CSS: <0>
CCU: > SPEND 2610 CP. USE O / O / O / O / O \ O \ O \ O \ O
??? colorlessGuardian [?CG] ??:?? FROM ???? responded to memo.
?CG: Hello, Interrobang. Hello, <0>.
CCU: * 2160 CP
CUC: > Do the Metachronistic thing.
?GG: > Poke ıts eye out and flatten ıts wıngs. [x]
CAA: > A low, deep drumbeat fills the room. - So, side question, what's the boss music here? I need to know what to listen to to escape the temmies.
?CG: I grant you the use of the CHAINS INEXORABLE. Order is the natural enemy of chaos.
CAT: > Flail like a fish. A fish with arms.
?CG: The beast will will be bound.
CAA: 1<0>-1 is a solution to that equation. Poof, problem solved.
CSS: [x]
CCU: > IGNORE MY LAST ACTION I CAN'T USE IT
CCU: BUT BEFORE YOU GO
CURRENT absurdistAstrocrat [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: > <0>w<0>
CCU: > JEFF MASON 993 CP IS THE CURRENT COUNT
CCU: > UNLESS YOU'RE ANTI FUN
CCU: > IN WHICH CASE IT'S 246 CP
CSS: [> SPEND 993 CP. USE O O O O / O \ O O O O]
CSS: [You attempt to harness the power of the CHAOS BUTTERFLY to initiate a LOOP HOLE. You struggle, but... you cannot. If only things were more chaotic...]
CSS: [You wonder if increasing ENTROPY may actually HELP you in this battle.]
CSS: [> Do the metachronistic thing.]
?TT: > Play Hopes and Dreams
CAA: > By being posting out of turn, this message increases the amount of chaos in this memo game, thus raising entropy!
CAA: > No.
CSS: [You open your NINTH EYE. A flood of alternate ARMS and LEGS join you, afterimages surging across all dimensions. You rapidly spew an onslaught of INK in EVERY CONCIEVABLE ALPHABET at the CHAOS BUTTERFLY, giving it the CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE.]
CSS: [The beast ROARS, but is not PLACATED or HARMED.]
CSS: [> By being posting out of turn, this message increases the amount of chaos in this memo game, thus raising entropy!]
CSS: [+1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [> I grant you the use of the CHAINS INEXORABLE. Order is the natural enemy of chaos.]
CSS: [You're not about to look a gift horse in its mouth. You equip the CHAINS INEXORABLE, a set of blackened links spiraling from your wrists and circumnavigating the room. You leap at the CHAOS BUTTERFLY and bind portions of its body together. Its body begins burning, and it SHRIEKS in agony.]
CSS: [> Poke its eye out and flatten its wings.]
CSS: [The CHAOS BUTTERFLY'S EYE is such a powerful, cursed symbol that it cannot be merely POKED. You feel your skin boil for even attempting the manuever.]
CSS: [The CHAOS BUTTERFLY blinks out of existence, becoming a wriggling pile of BLOOD HANDS AND PUPILS that surge at you, firing a BULLET HELL at all points in SPACETIME.]
CSS: [Your hours of UNDERTALE PRACTICE have made you a FORMIDABLE OPPONENT, but you find yourself caught in the MAELSTROM.]
CSS: [Your soul is burdened by CHAOS. +1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
CSS: <0>
CAU: >PURVIEW
CCL: > Make like Kyubey and stave off entropy, turning it to your own gains. Channel the 249 <0>s to your own ends. *CP*.
CUC: > Harness the <0> that was just posted to increase Entropy.
CAA: > Kill the concept of Kyubey to bring back the Entropy it warded off.
CAC: > PUNCH, your fist conjuring the curse "<1>"
CAA: > POCKET and deploy an item completely at random, thus attacking with maximum entropy
CCU: > Use your ENTROPY to gain a ridiculous amount of CP from the ridiculous amount of turn-allowing <0> curses posted beforehand to gain 747 CP.
CAT: > POCKET an item, thus increasing your entropy by sheer fact that the item has a greater chance of being with you or something. idk. I failed entropy class.
CAA: > PACE around, wasting energy in a thermodynamic way, thus trending towards maximum entropy
CCU: > JEFF MASON (249/996 CP)
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> PURVIEW]
CSS: [CHAOS BUTTERFLY: <0> The harbinger of entropy. Its wings dictate the boundaries between canon and apocrypha, its scales rupture the paths of all futures, and its gaze grinds the achivements of man into dust. Every time a butterfly flaps its wings...]
CSS: [INTERROBANG: HP‽ ENTROPY: 2.]
CSS: [> Harness the <0> that was just posted to increase entropy.]
CSS: [You wrench the metatextual symbol of change and feel its crimson power flood your veins. You scream as you feel your soul be burdened by CHAOS once more. +1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [> Kill the concept of Kyubey to bring back the Entropy it warded off.]
CSS: [You feel a hatred pounding in the innermost crevices of your brain. ...No. You need KYUBEY alive. You need the SOUL GEMS for whatever ARCANE PURPOSE you have.]
CSS: [> PUNCH, your fist conjuring the curse "<1>"]
CSS: [You feel your HAND trembling and shaking, and with immense effort, you curl it into a FIST. KALEIDOSCOPIC sparks flood your vision. You... My God... You... YOU ARE THE ONE.]
CSS: [You jump off the TABLE and PUNCH the CHAOS BUTTERFLY in its eye. The hit connects, and the beast SHRIEKS with pain, the sanctity of its CURSE momentarily disrupted. You feel reality instinctually fight the urge to vomit. +1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [> POCKET and deploy an item completely at random, thus attacking with maximum entropy.]
CSS: [You deploy... the TANGERINE! The foodstuff sails towards the CHAOS BUTTERFLY with maximum entropic force. It lightly taps the beast, and nothing happens.]
CSS: [...]
CSS: [A column of light sears the BUTTERFLY'S scales to a perfect FOUR THOUSAND DEGREES KELVIN. MADOKA KANAME descends from the HEAVENS and initiates a RIGHTEOUS AGGRESSION against the witch.]
CSS: [You collect as many of the SCALES that fall from the butterfly's hide as you can. +2 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [> POCKET an item, thus increasing your entropy by sheer fact that the item has a greater chance of being with you or something. idk. I failed entropy class.]
CSS: [You flashstep towards AMPERSAND, BITCH-SLAPPING him. "THERE'S NO TIME I'M ROBBING FROM YOU I'LL PAY YOU BACK IF YOU'RE NOT ALL DEAD," you scream at the top of your lungs. You take an HOURGLASS from AMPERSAND. You feel your vision tunnel with red. +1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [> Use your ENTROPY to gain a ridiculous amount of CP from the ridiculous amount of turn-allowing <0> curses posted beforehand to gain 747 CP.]
CSS: [> You attempt to channel the amount of ENTROPY you have to break the laws of causality... but... it's not enough! You need more!!]
CSS: [The CHAOS BUTTERFLY roars with an unholy fervor, threatening to redefine the meaning of DESTROY THE GODMODDER itself. It conjures up some twisted, negative SUMMONING CIRCLE. You vaguely see a cobalt PSI burn itself into existence. Your blood runs cold. ICE-COLD.]
CSS: [The two of you blink out of existence.]
CSS: [. . .]
CSS: [2009 AD]
CSS: [THE PSI-GODMODDING WAR]
CSS: [Several sonic booms sound as you are smashed into the ARCTIC ZONE of some RANDOM MINECRAFT SERVER. No. Of course it's not a "RANDOM" MINECRAFT SERVER. You're in the PRIME WORLD.]
CSS: ["Who in the hell are you?" you hear a voice say behind you. You turn around.]
CSS: ["And... what in the hell is THAT?" he says.]
CSS: [You and THE PSI-GODMODDER watch as the CHAOS BUTTERFLY tunnels across the sky, screeching at the top of its forty-nine lungs.]
CSS: [POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
CAA: > do not make this a timeloop you dense fuck
CAA: > do not
CAA: > i will eat you
?CG: Use the Chains to begin to bind the weakened Butterfly to a new nameplate. The creature will conform to our canon, or it will be destroyed, just like its master.
CAA: > if you manage to
CAA: > Ask the last question, then plug your ears and pretend Multivac answered "no" to gather entropy
CCL: > tangerine
CCL: > say thank you ms kaname
CAU: >Backwards long jump against a nearby wall, building up de facto enough speed to start moving through parallel universes.
CPD: >Protect the timeline and make it not even more tangled by harvesting all the timeline chaos this creates and taking it into yourself
CAA: > PUNCH - Pick up the man and club the Chaos Butterfly with them
CCU: > Use your ENTROPY to gain a ridiculous amount of CP from the ridiculous amount of turn-allowing <0> curses posted beforehand to gain 747 CP. JEFF MASON (252/999) CP
CAA: > Oh, PURVIEW the man, but not until after the PUNCH
CAT: >Say "I got no time for games" then solve Pythagoras' Theorem to gain entropy
CAA: ...how does that entropy
CAA: oh right
CAA: you failed entropy class
CAC: > JEFF MASON INVENT THE CONCEPT OF CP
CAA: > YES
CAA: > DO THAT
CAA: >ffffffffh what did I tell you about time loops
CAA: Post that and I will star it
CSS: [x]
CAA: > STARS ARE A MEANINGLESS CURRENCY
CSS: [> PUNCH - Pick up the man and club the Chaos Butterfly with him.]
CSS: ["Sorry, Psi," you yell as you grab the FIRST EVIL OF GOD himself. "But this is for our own good!" You jump off of the snow and clobber the CHAOS BUTTERFLY with who you're PRETTY sure is his own creator. The sheer godmodding potential gained in the punch tears another hole through space, and the BUTTERFLY falls through.]
CCL ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [You and the PSI-GODMODDER collapse in a tangled heap of limbs in the snow. You gasp for breath.]
CSS: ["Are you... a time traveler?" the PSI-GODMODDER asks. You gasp for breath. "...Not quite," you say.]
CSS: [> Ask the last question, then plug your ears and pretend Multivac answered "no" to gather entropy]
CSS: [You cheat fate, DEFYING THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THE BIRTH AND DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. +1 ENTROPY. You aren't totally sure why all that was capitalized but whatever you're rolling with it.]
CSS: [> CAA: > Oh, PURVIEW the man, but not until after the PUNCH]
CSS: [THE PSI-GODMODDER: Who can say?/100 HP. The first evil of God.]
CSS: [INTERROBANG: HP‽ ENTROPY: 8.]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON INVENT THE CONCEPT OF CP]
CSS: [You almost resist the urge to ruin the DESTROY THE GODMODDER SERIES.]
CSS: [Almost.]
CSS: ["I have a question for you," you manage to say as you regain your breath. "Have you ever thought of... stockpiling power instead of using it right away? Thereby gaining the ability to have MORE power later on?"]
CSS: ["You could describe it as storing attack power. Maybe even... charging it."]
CSS: [THE PSI-GODMODDER stares at you blankly. "You have about twelve seconds before I smite you off of this planet, the one which I helped unmake with my own two hands."]
CSS: [You shrug. "Worth a shot."]
CSS: [> Use the Chains to begin to bind the weakened Butterfly to a new nameplate. The creature will conform to our canon, or it will be destroyed, just like its master.]
CSS: [>Backwards long jump against a nearby wall, building up de facto enough speed to start moving through parallel universes.]
CSS: [You grab the CHAINS INEXORABLE and swing them against the ground as your hands curl into FISTS. They crackle with KALEIDOSCOPIC ENERGY. You have acquired the CHAINS INTERPUNCTUAL. You then quickly BACKWARDS LONG JUMP against a nearby snowbank, gaining absurd amounts of DE FACTO SPEED.]
CSS: [You quickly blink out of the universe, on the hunt for the BUTTERFLY.]
CSS: [THE PSI-GODMODDER ponders what transpired.]
CSS: ["...Huh."]
CSS: [. . .]
CSS: [??? AD]
CSS: [SOMEWHERE BETWEEN ALL UNIVERSES]
CSS: [THE CHAOS BUTTERFLY howls, its form, somehow, damaged. There is the sound of glass shattering as you appear. "LEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY, uh, um. No. That meme's dead, actually. Never mind."]
CSS: [You restrain the BUTTERFLY with the CHAINS INTERPUNCTUAL, KALEIDOSCOPIC FIRE encircling its form as it shrieks even further. You are continually bombarded with ENTROPIC BULLETS, but you hold on. The PARALLEL UNIVERSE MANEUVER has netted you +1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [ > Use your ENTROPY to gain a ridiculous amount of CP from the ridiculous amount of turn-allowing <0> curses posted beforehand to gain 747 CP. JEFF MASON (252/999) CP]
CSS: [You have 9 ENTROPY. NINE would be a formidable number all on its own. NINE, the number of ANTI-GODMODDER ANCESTORS. The number of the ORDER. Of the SUPERIORS. Except, there is always another. One hidden from the masses. One linked to prophecy, fortune, and change. One with the ability to RECALL THE RECENT PAST, and understand the world.]
CSS: [Quickly! ACT!]
CSS: <0>
CAA: > Sit the fuck still as I materialise on some level of Fiction to devour you as promised.
CSS: [POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
?TT: >flap your wings at the Chaos Butterfly
CUC: Harness the power of H O N K to gain entropy.
CCU: ((what's the CP value))
CAA: > PURVIEW the entirety of the information about apocrypha you wanted out of the Chaos Butterfly, leaving it understood.
CAC: > take the butterfly to Manhattan, December 7 2016, trapping it back in semicanon
CAA: > It will be explained, predictable, no longer chaotic.
?GG: > POCKET the CHAOS BUTTERFLY
CAA: > Or just POCKET the CHAOS BUTTERFLY
CPD: > unsurp the Chaos Butterfly's Curse and trap it inside a new nameplate
CAA: > That works too
?CG: Finish the job.
CCU: > POCKET the CHAOS BUTTERFLY.
CSS: [JEFF MASON 255 CP]
CAT: >Celebrate your tenth birthday, despite it not being your tenth birthday. This paradox creates Entropy.
?GG: > Really though just reach out and ınventory a good chunk of chaos ıt's fıne
CAU: >Fold the CHAOS BUTTERFLY in half more than 8 times, busting the myth.
?TT: >Rollunder the CP value and chuck the resultant void at the Chaos Butterfly, siphoning power from it to you
CCU: > ABUSE THE POWER OF <0> to GET TO 1000 CP. JEFF MASON 1000 CP.
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> Sit the fuck still as I materialize on some level of Fiction to devour you as promised.]
CSS: [You balance on THE VOID itself, watching as its STARRY, LIQUID SKIES froth into a SUPERCELL. Descending from the skies is WALPURGISNACHT herself, able to materialize without a BARRIER. The BUTTERFLY wails and gnashes from its chains.]
CSS: [WALPURGISNACHT's cackles and screams tear across every UNIVERSE, and the BUTTERFLY'S wings are torn into shreds. The two battle until the end of time.]
CSS: [> Harness the power of H O N K to gain entropy.]
CSS: honk
?GG: honk
CUC: honk
CAA: honk
CCU: honk
CAU: honk
CURRENT aimlessAscendant2 [CAA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAA: honl
CAT: honk
CAC: knoh
CPD: honk
CSS: [The DARK CARNIVAL's toils materialize from underneath the surface, a limitless plane of PARADOXES surging up from the cracks in reality. All you can see is a beautiful, terrifying amethyst as it all comes UNDONE. +1 ENTROPY.]
CSS: [10 ENTROPY REACHED.]
CSS: [> ABUSE THE POWER OF <0> to GET TO 1000 CP. JEFF MASON 1000 CP.]
CSS: [You abandon the petty notion of CAUSALITY and ORDER as your HANDS unglue themselves. Your SKIN boils into SOAP, your MUSCLES atrophy, and your BONES crack into ASH. You gain two SIX-FINGERED HANDS of RESPLENDENT WHITE LIGHT. You are HE WHO WOULD SWALLOW GOD.]
CSS: [You reach across time and space and feel LIMITLESS ENTROPY SURGE INTO YOU—
CSS: [JEFF MASON 1,000 CP]
CSS: [> POCKET the CHAOS BUTTERFLY.]
CSS: [You pull the CHAINS INTERPUNCTUAL *TAUT.* The BUTTERFLY lets out a gurgle as its form drifts towards you. You LURCH backwards with your hands as the BUTTERFLY sails towards you. You reach out your hand, and...]
CSS: [You POCKET the CHAOS BUTTERFLY.]
CSS: [The beast, the chains, and the curse all disappear into your inventory. You murmur, the HANDS OF GOD allowing you to perform a sacred ritual. You clap them together and TRANSMUTATE your INVENTORY.]
CSS: [The CHAINS become the METAL, the BUTTERFLY'S form boiling away until only its CURSE is left.]
CSS: [The process is long, and arduous, and painful. You feel the ENTROPY weighing on your SOUL sloughing off.]
CSS: [...]
CAA ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [You gain the <0> NAMEPLATE.]
CSS: [You sigh with relief, and re-materialize in the ruined OBSIDIAN CELL.]
CSS: [AMPERSAND blinks. "Interrobang," he says.]
CSS: ["Yeah?" you say.]
CSS: ["What," he says. He does not continue.]
CSS: ["It's simple," you say, as you extend your legs onto the table from the chair on which you sit.]
CSS: ["I can do anything."]
CSS: <0>
CCU: > remember that WARE is still in the room and hasn't left or anything
CAA: > Give the hourglass back and maybe kiss him a little?? maybe????
CCU: > JEFF MASON 1003 CP
CAC: > JEFF MASON FUCKING WHATEVER CP
CUC: > The memetic phrase summons JEVIL.
?GG: > Kıck the chaır out from under Past Jeff, undermınıng hıs cool posturıng
CPD: > also do we steal the nameplate or something ??
CAU: >JEFF MASON GET MORE CP, /I GUESS/
CAC: > yeah nameplate stealing sounds good to me
CSS: ((It's in your inventory, so you'll have it in the present. Don't worry about that.))
?TT: > wave hello to Jevil
CAT: > Steal all of Past Interrobang's CP
CSS: ((You also retain the CP.))
CAT: ((dang it))
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> Remember that WARE is still in the room and hasn't left or anything.]
CSS: [You warily glance over to WARE's inert body. It is unmoving, and has not moved since the summoning of the BUTTERFLY. You try multiple times to awake or alert him, but you get no response.]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON 1009 CP]
CSS: [JEFF MASON 1009 CP, you GUESS.]
CSS: [> Give the hourglass back and maybe kiss him a little?? Maybe????]
CSS: ["This is for you," you say as you take the HOURGLASS out of the POCKET and toss it back to AMPERSAND. He catches it.]
CSS: [You almost don't resist the urge to kiss AMPERSAND.]
CSS: [Almost.]
CSS: [> The memetic phrase summons Jevil.]
CSS: [JEVIL pops into existence. He cackles. You turn into a DAV PILKEY drawing.]
CSS: ["OH NO!" you yell. "HERE WE GO AGAIN!!" AMPERSAND yells.]
CSS: [> Kick the chair out from under Past Jeff, undermining his cool posturing.]
CSS: [. . .]
CSS: [IN THE PRESENT DAY, you look through the DOOR and walk through.]
CSS: [You are now in the MEMORY IN THE PAST. PAST YOU looks at PRESENT YOU incredulously. "Hey, what the f—"]
CSS: [You kick the chair from under him, and he falls to the floor, smacking his head on the OBSIDIAN. He does not stir. JEVIL cackles and impales him thirty-seven times in the chest.]
CSS: [...You slowly walk out.]
CSS: [The DOOR shuts, and the KALEIDOSCOPIC LIGHT fades.]
CSS: [You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in.]
CSS: ["Alright," you say to the audience. "That was... that sure was something. One more symbol, huh? Again, for cliffhangers' sake."]
CSS: <0>
CUC: > A split sun.
CCU: > check self for puncture wounds.
CAT: > Fade away
CAC: > split sun (shut the fuck up)
CCU: > JEFF MASON 1012 CP
CAU: > O)_(O
?GG: > splıt sun
?CG: If the nameplate is so volatile that a Seeker's digestive track could release it, it requires better security.
CCU: > SPLIT SUN
CCC: > split sun
CAA: > Sun. Not split, not coloured anything, just whatever the base shape gets you.
CAA: > A pumpkin
CAA: > the entire Gravity Falls zodiac. Back to Bill-kiling business.
?TT: >What pumpkin?
CPD: > split sun
CSS: [x]
CSS: [> JEFF MASON 1012 CP]
CSS: [JEFF MASON 1012 CP]
CSS: [> Check self for puncture wounds.]
CSS: [You feel up your own chest. You... you feel scars. That is mildly disturbing.]
CSS: [> If the nameplate is so volatile that a Seeker's digestive track could release it, it requires better security.]
CSS: [Your POCKET is about the BEST SECURITY anyone could possibly afford in all of FICTION. As long as you don't take it out, it should be good. Actually, come to think of it, a VAULT might be an even better hiding place. Perhaps you should return there soon.]
CSS: [> Split Sun.]
CSS: [You draw a SPLIT SUN onto the DOOR. It lights up with KALEIDOSCOPIC FLAME. The DOOR ACTIVATES.]
CSS: [You OPEN it.]
CSS: [. . .]
CSS: [Your name is JEFF MASON, and you are about to die. A RED SWORD hovers ominously over your neck. Two GREEN LIGHTS take up your entire field of vision. "Tell me," the voice says. "What is your favorite album of all time?"]
CSS: [You have no idea how to respond.]
CSS: [> END OF PART 4 <]
CAA: Laugh track.
CAT: Credits
CAC ceased responding to memo.
?CG ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [WORLD SHOULD BE will continue on THURSDAY, APRIL 23, 2020, at 7:17 PM EDT.]
CCU ceased responding to memo.
CSS: [I'm Interrobang.]
CSS: [Be there.]