cool morrowman bvilds

Global rules:
1. If a d*rk elf says muthsera to you, face them and take a bow (crouch), maybe type Muthsera back at them or say it in voice chat but all gravelly-like so you wind up sounding like Cookie Monster or Yoda (not too loud mom might hear).
2. If a (not quest relevant/important) nord asks if you've seen any elves you must murder and eat them.
3. If an n'wah starts steppin', end them

Roll d12/pick what sounds fun/get inspired by one of these

1 Nizek
Dork elf, Luck, Intelligence, Alchemy, Spears, Athletics, Acrobatics, Restoration, Conjuration, The Steed
Load up on money, then buy up all the ash yams and bloat, proceed to attain CHVM.
Cool items optional, but do you see Vivec floating around with anything more than a loincloth?
If you are not clipping through miles of solid rock with a mere tap you do not have enough Speed.
Everyone else is below you, and either in your way or part of the way to gain more power.  Katana and blue robes optional.

2 Bumphert Jr. / Bumspawn
Manlet elf, Luck, Strength, Security, Spears, Alteration, Conjuration, Marksman, Unarmed, The Warrior?
Shoot people, steal stuff, cheese off the entire mage/fighter/thief guild, and shoot more people.
Attempt to time killing, dying and looting for maximum comedic/buttdestroying effect.
Ensure that when you are inevitably attacked by other players you are agile enough to get someone else killed instead/in addition to yourself.
Your appearance must be as grotesque as possible (read: naked), but BoBS and cool hats are ok.
Make sure to lock doors and help people get lots of sleep.  Being able to escape once they open the door and/or wake up helps.
No outright PvP murder unless it'd be funny (or they attack first).  Draining Magicka is (usually) going too far; fatigue is fair game.

3 Grumpus
Nord, Luck, Endurance, Spears, Heavy Armor, Axes, Longsword, Unarmed, The Lady
Max Endurance ASAP, then have fun being mostly immortal, if boring.
To spice things up, get into fights with as many d*rk elves as possible.
Steal from them.
Set fire to their pillow hordes.
Scalies and furries are not to be tolerated in a similar manner.
Bretons are weenies and so are imperials, so they're to be eliminated and antagonized in the same way.
Orcs are just green Nords, but that means they are not Nords and therefore not worth your time.
All elves in general must be the butt of your jokes and the cause for all ills in the world.
Bro it up with other Nords and make Nordlings with those strong Nord women.
Drink any and all potions and booze you find, except for bug braps.  That's for selling to dum d*rk elves.

4 Ainsley
Grease elf, Luck, Intelligence, everything magic, The Atronach
Slip n' slide, cannot wear any torso or leg armor.  Fur hat recommended but not necessary.
High fatigue damage spells recommended so people slip on your grease.
Fellow mages are your best buds except for that Archmage Trebonius n'wah, grab his amulet at some point.
Make nice enchanted items for yourself so long as they provide aid in one way or another to your mission of coating the world in grease.

5 Hey Guys It's Me Fargoth Don't You Recognize My Voice
Manlet elf, Personality, Endurance, specialization in Stealth, any sign (snek maybe)
Major: HtH, Unarmored, Athletics, Speechcraft, Mercantile
Minor: Security, Block, Short Blade, Sneak, Acrobatics
Must wear only Fargoth's clothes, can use any weapon (although ideally you're unarmed).
Must equip a torch at night and in caves.
Can only walk, unless there's combat going on nearby.
No spells except your dumb elf-furry communion power.
Must kill and eat the real Fargoth ASAP, ideally without getting caught in the act (IE get guards after you).
If you're using voice chat, every time you get into combat you need to say one of the male wood elf lines (or that weird growling they make).  Mimic the voice if you can!

6 Skinwalker
Any race, Personality, Sneak, Acrobatics, Athletics, Unarmred, Unarmored, The Lady
Sorta like Fargoth-Ur but anyone can be your victim, so long as you fulfill the following criteria:
1. Observe them for a while, see what makes them tick (or at least exhaust their dialogue)
2. Don't get caught (don't have guards come after you)
3. Assume their identity after killing them (wear their clothes, offer any services they did) for at least a little while
4. Respect the transportation and quest n'wahs and don't murder them in cold blood
5. When assuming a new identity, drop all the items from the previous life
You can only have one disguise at a time, though you can alternate between it and whoever the last guard was that you killed in a similar manner.
When talking to NPCs, try to sneak up behind them before initiating dialogue.
When imitating NPCs, try to use their lines of dialogue (other than the death noises).

7 Science Nerd
Breton, Intelligence, Luck, Alchemy, Enchantment, Marksman, Security, Restoration, Unarmed
Heal bros, do science stuff, use these weird elongated keycards to open locked doors.
Load up on Restore X on touch, Cure X on touch, etc.
Can only use crossbows and fisticuffs.
Respect the Hippocratic Oath and only kill n'wahs if they can't pay you for your healthcare services
Wear a hat that gives you glasses, like the boiled netch leather helm, dark bros hat, or morag tong helm
Be a pacifist most of the time, but if somebody calls you a nerd (or for NPCs, an N'wah or S'wit) you must enter berserker mode and kill everything in that cell or die trying.  This is aided by yelling over voice chat.
*7.5 Alternatively, be a bardboi, grab a cool sword (sabers are cool), put on a stylish hat, and become the team's buffbot.  Hand out magic booze (potions) and give bros 1 billion strength for fifty real time years.  Sing songs of mighty battles and tales long past, such as that of Scotland and its Forevering, ideally over voice chat with maximum output volume.  Other such hymns of battle to increase morale and discourage enemy communication are also encouraged.

8 Cvlter Di
Redguard (for LS), Endurance, Luck, Longswords, Heavy armor, Blunt, The Warrior (or Atronach for psibois)
Cover all visible skin ASAP, ultimate goal is ebony armor (daedric is metastreumonic and therefore heresy) and making a constant restore fatigue item to keep jumping forever (BoBS are ok)
Other ultimate goal is making enough money to break the engine (~2.147b?)
Constantly run and jump, have faith in your bullets to hit
Can only use katanas, greatswords and greathammers, no shields
Rimanah Must Cycle mode: can only use shock damage enchantments (that means no White Blade of Woe funny business, I don't care how black or rune covered it is)
All non-humanoids and most humanoids (metastreumon) must die.  Use a 100% blind spell on femoids.

9 Jian """Shang"""" Di
Manlet elf, Marksman, Sneak, Illusion, The Shadow
Sneak around and shoot/stab dudes in the back.
Can only use crossbows when shooting dudes, melee weapon restrictions are the same as the Cvlter Di.
Get that Redoran Watchman's Helm and Jian light pajamas.  Native Chuzei Bonemold Helm is also acceptable.
Invisibility and Chameleon are your best friends, ideally you can get some constant 100% chameleon item/item set made.
Basically Bumphert Jr. but fewer spears.

10 Grindanscaper
Nord/Breton/Imperial/Redguard, Axes, Longsword, Destruction, Marksman, Armorer, Alchemy, Atronach
No restrictions on items, though having a Miner's Pick and one-handed axe helps:
If you see anything resembling a tree, train your woodcutting on it
If you see some shiny rocks, mine them with your pickaxe
Carry food of some sort to eat before casting a restoration spell on yourself
Never run while at 0 fatigue.
Stand around in crowded cities and talk with NPCs, ideally while wearing your most impressive gear.

11 Fiddy Drakes
Redguard, Marksman, Security, Sneak, Short blade, Unarmed
Your appearance must be distinctive in some way or another (no shirt/Fur Helm/no pants, etc)
All attempts at communication must rhyme.
If you can spit some hot verses while fighting in a group you get first dibs on any loot off of NPCs (though not any loot placed in the surrounding area/in containers/etc)
Must have a supply of skooma, either for personal use or for distributing
Crossbows are the most ideal weapon, though other ranged alternatives work fine too
Can only use fists when fighting guards
Never pay the full bounty, always use the Thieves' guild 50% discount

12 Jovial Trader
Elf of some kind, Personality, Mercantile, Speechcraft, Restoration, Illusion, Alchemy, The Lady
Your goal is to make as much cashmoney as possible through whatever means possible (and eventually gain full control of the dreamsleeve and/or godhead)
Only wear the finest robes and jewelry your magnificent hands can get themselves on
Fighting is so passe, hire some thuggish troglodytes under the table to wipe out your competition for you
Maybe actually try to run a business providing some service, but it'd be easier to set yourself up as the profiteering middleman who facilitates the use of other peoples' services at a low, low special discount price.
Use Restoration and Illusion to boost your money-obtaining powers.
Use Alchemy to produce potions out of mushrooms that are definitely "restore strength" and not "poison" to sell to unsuspecting customers - caveat emptor, G'oywah
Make sure to always be levitating so your feet never have to touch the filthy ground (can stop once you need slepts)
Use unarmed/spellcasting to unsheathe your fists after a successful deal so you can rub your hands together