2018-09-14 TOEFL: parallelism, int writing

Greg Malivuk
[email protected]
http://www.pastebin.com/u/gmalivuk - notes from all classes
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https://ed.ted.com/lessons/how-do-cigarettes-affect-the-body-krishna-sudhir
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Parallelism / Parallel Structure = Using the same grammatical structure for a sequence of things in writing.
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Samples of errors from last week’s writing:
*children become more creative, competitive and more knowledgeable
-> more creative, more competitive, and more knowledgeable
-> more creative, competitive, and knowledgeable

*skills such as teamwork, competitiveness and they are becoming aware
-> teamwork, competitiveness, and awareness

*people can’t afford to hire a personal trainer, teacher or pay for some classes
-> people can’t afford to hire a personal trainer or teacher, or to pay for some classes
-> people can’t afford to pay for a personal trainer, a teacher, or some classes
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Coordinating conjunctions (in particular “and”, “or”, and “but”) must connect parallel structures. It’s a grammatical error if they don’t.
Across separate sentences, it’s sometime clearer to use parallel structure, but not ungrammatical if you don’t.
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Handout (Parallelism) p. 29 - With your partner, identify which element is not parallel to the others. Then, if you can, try to fix it so that it is.
1 boat rides -> boating
2 They are digging for clams. -> They dig for clams.
3 his eyes -> [preposition] his eyes
4 painting pictures -> painted pictures
5 sadly -> sadness
6 into the Rolls Royce -> driven in a Rolls Royce
7 strong -> strength
8 fly -> flew
9 eating meat pies -> meat pie carts
10 in the fall -> [adjective] in the fall
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p. 30-31 part B - With your partner, rewrite the sentences to they have parallel structure.
1 Tom enjoys swimming and skating.
2 He wore a green suede jacket, a flowered shirt, and multicolored platform shoes.
3 At 16, I was wild, outspoken, and uncaring.
  At 16, I was a wild, outspoken, and uncaring person.
4 The work was difficult and dangerous.
5 Like many women, she had several roles: wife, mother, student, worker.
6 When the teacher left the room, I talked loudly, fought with my classmates, threw paper airplanes, and even climbed on the desks.
  When the teacher left the room, I would talk loudly, fight with my classmates, throw paper airplanes, and even climb on the desks.
7 When I disobeyed, my parents punished me:
  no going out, no talking on the telephone, and no having company.
  I couldn’t go out, talk on the telephone, or have company.
8 Slowly, easily, and soundlessly, the dancers moved offstage.
9 The drums pounded, throbbed, and rose and fell.
10 Good writing must be honest, fresh, and precise.
   Good writing must have honesty, freshness, and precision.
11 My son wants to be either a firemen or a pilot.
   My son wants to either fight fires or fly planes.
12 The students were more interested in dating girls than in studying math.
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not A, not B, and not C = not A, B, or C
You can’t drink and drive. = You can’t drive at the same time as you drink.
You can’t drink or drive. = You can’t drink. In addition, you can’t drive.
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BREAK
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Writing Section: fourth and final section, about 60 minutes total, 2 tasks, 20+30 minutes of writing
1 integrated: read a passage, listen to a lecture about the same topic, write about how the points from the lecture relate to the points from the reading
2 independent: read a choice question prompt, write to state and support your answer to the question
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Integrated Writing:
- 3 minutes to read a passage about some topic
- listen to a lecture about the same topic (usually with the opposite viewpoint)
- 20 minutes to write about the points from the lecture and how they relate to the points from the reading passage (typically 150-225 words)
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DELTA 7 test 6 - Take 3 minutes to read the passage. What are the main points?
R0 = friendships at work have harmful effects on the company
R1 = close friends have worse job performance (spend too much time talking)
R2 = friendships can affect everyone (problems if the friendship breaks up, jealousy, cliques)
R3 = friendships can be based on shared resentment cause problems like dissatisfaction and tension
- While you read, you should think about (predict) the possible points the lecture might make in contrast to the points from the reading.
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Listen and take notes about the lecture on the same topic. What are its main points?
L0 = advantages of friendships outweigh disadvantages
L1 = having a best friend at work improves workplace outcomes (more engaged, more productive, more innovative, share ideas)
L2 = friendships lead to healthy workplaces, company loyalty comes from these relationships (and feeling appreciated)
L3 = having friends increases job satisfaction by nearly 50%, it’s emotional compensation if there aren’t other incentives, more favorable perception of their pay
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Point-by-point response: four paragraphs organized the same way as most of the reading passages
1 Introduction: state the topic and summarize the positions of the reading (R0) and lecture (L0) (Your “thesis statement” for this is how the lecture relates to the reading)
2 First point: summarize R1, summarize L1, explain how L1 relates to R1
3 Second point: summarize R2, summarize L2, explain how L2 relates to R2
4 Third point: summarize R3, summarize L3, explain how L3 relates to R3
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“The first point is about having a best friend at work. The lecture states that people with a best friend at work are more likely to be productive and engaged in their work. This contradicts the point in the reading that people with a close friend at work are less engaged and less productive.”
(To get the highest score, it’s good to add more detail than this and to use different words from the text and lecture.)
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Citation Language: to show where the ideas come from
- According to the text/reading/lecture, The first point from the text/reading/lecture is…,
- The author/text/speaker/lecture says/states/argues/claims that…
- The author/professor thinks/believes… (Remember, only people can think and believe things.)
Contrast Language: to show how ideas differ
- despite, even though, although, while (in one sentence that includes both points)
- on the other hand, however, nevertheless (to start a second sentence contrasting the previous one)
- This contradicts/challenges/casts doubt on/refutes/opposes the point from the text that…
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Homework: integrated writing at the link I emailed to you