Fear Inside

Running. It was the only option I can take. Run away and flee. Flee from what? I don't know. I still have no answer to anything. All I wanna do is run and escape.
   From what exactly? Dammit, I have no idea. As far as I know, I just need to run. I know, that's not how we were trained. That's not how we were raised. We fight all the unspeakable horrors that Hell can throw at the world, at us, and we slay without question. We kill without disobedience.
   We are without fear, because we were not created to feel it.
   But why am I running?
   I am running, trying to escape an enemy, a worse enemy that Hell...no, the natural law of physics has sent at me.
   I was afraid to face it. That's why I fled. And I guess that's why I am here in this goddamned forest in the first place.
   I looked behind me, none. That's a good thing, I guess. I need to think. What happened earlier? I have no recollection of anything that had transpired. We were sent here. We were given a mission.
   But what?
   All that I remembered is that the operation has gone to shit and I am running like a bloody coward. Who exactly are we fighting? Legionnaires? Squadronites? Or are we fighting any Innies or Monsters or Gods?
  I don't know. But I do remember my name. That's a start, at least.
  Not my 'real' name, of course. I never had any 'real' name. I was an orphan, you see. My armor designation, as far as I remembered, was Blackshot.
  I continued further, pursued by my own paranoia. Maybe it was paranoia? Maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me? Why the Hell am I running?
   My path was covered with mud and wet leaves. Fallen branches were trampled underfoot and the wind blew in the cold afternoon. The sky was cloudy and all I could see beyond the forest was fog. White fog.
   "Tribune-Commander Blackshot, reporting in." I yelled as I pressed the earpiece while raising my rifle with my left hand. No, I'm not left handed. My hands are both dominant especially in combat. I use my left when fighting hand to hand or shooting weapons and my right whenever I use a bladed weapon or cast an arcane charge--it's a term for angelic spell.
   Surrounded by tall trees, I looked around. Hell, I'm running in bloody circles! Or am I? I need to find my way out. I do know that my subordinates are all killed in action. Where is the way out?
   "You've destroyed them!" A voice called behind me.
   I immediately turned and lifted my Blast Rifle at the figure. It was a Demon wearing a jacket with a hoodie. His face was covered by the hood but his red glowing eyes is visible beneath the shadow. There is nothing wrong with it at first glance since it looked like a Human; jacket, pants and sneakers. But it was one of those things that you see in the corner of any place, watching and stalking.
   "Axeman!" I yelled as I aimed at the Legionnaire. Unlike us, Protectorates, we know who they were. I've fought Blood Axe Legionnaires before. My eyes won't deceive me.
   "Those souls, those precious tortured souls in Hell! Your rampage has caused us everything! They were all ours!"
   "Shut your blasphemous mouth!" I yelled as I opened fire, three shots penetrated through its chest. Four more Axemen Legionnaires appeared, coming down the hill. Crap, they were in a hill! This is a bloody hill! What am I doing here?!
   "Protectorate Blackshot to High Command, requesting assistance immediately!" I yelled as I opened fire at one of them, taking it down with three shots to the chest. I knelt a knee on the ground and released a short burst, taking the other one with two hits. As soon as the third one closes in, I sent a kick at its chest then impaled it with the bayonet attached on the muzzle of my rifle and squeezed the trigger relentlessly. The fourth one leapt at me. I rolled forward then aimed behind me. The Demon had its back on me when I opened fire, ripping through its spine.
   "Thanks, Command." I yelled over the earpiece. "You're a great help."
   Forgive my language but shit! The past is catching up with me. It seems like these Demons are seeking for revenge. They're still not forgiving me about that rampage on Hell. If I know the way out, I would have taken it but thanks to one of their Legions, they played a trick on me that instead of going out, I was actually walking deeper. So why not make them taste their own medicine?! Stupid Death Riddlers. No wonder, they we crushed their Legion in an instant.
   But yeah, I did killed a lot of them. I am starting to think where they go every time I slay one of them. The bodies have started to pile up and I was leaving blood on my trail...no, I don't want to talk about it.
   I decided to walk up the hill. One of the best tactical option is to gain the higher ground in order to see clearly around me.
   As I near my way up, I could hear the voices in my head. I have made peace with my own demons but the fact that I keep turning around since they kept repeating someone's behind me is starting to irritate me. I'm going crazy. I hope I could see the Cross-Captain after this.
   But the voices happens to be right. I looked around and saw what looks to be a soldier in a Confederate Uniform, all tattered with red horns sticking out of his ragged tunic and exposed skin. He wore an emotionless grin and his eyes were pitched in black.
   "Death Musketeers!" I yelled. How many Legionnaires have I killed that I still happened to memorize all the names of their Legion? I opened fire, three shots penetrated through the Demon's chest before he could stick his bayonet at my chest. I sensed three more around and saw them taking up formation. One by one they fired, all I could do is to un-clip my shield grenade quickly, unpinned it and threw it on the ground. A blue semi transparent ball enveloped me in an instant. It reacted to the shots that hits it. When the shield disappeared, I fired back, placing three shots on their heads each. I continued further, heart beat pumping, pulse racing, adrenaline rushing.
   Out of nowhere, a Wind Brotherhood Legionnaire dropped two kicks on my chest, forcing me on my back. I hit the ground, crushing the dried leaves and the branches. The light rain had stopped hours ago and the leaves had dried too.
   I stared at the Legionnaire; a Demon covered in blue ninja suit. His eyes glowed in greenish yellow as he approached me. I drew a metal arnis stick from behind and parried the strike he made. This arsehole wanted to fight me hand to hand? Fine, I'll give it what it want. I sent a kick at its groin to give myself a space. I stood up and twirled my stick downwards then upwards. When the Demon strikes from the left, I hit his hand fast, forcing him to drop his weapon. I grabbed his injured hand and pulled him closer. With the pommel of my stick, I hit his right temple once, then placed it behind his neck. I pulled him down to the ground with all my force and crushed his head with my armored boot.
   Three more appeared. How many are they? And why are they only four?
   Anyway, as they reached me, I struck at the nearest one, hitting him in the skull. I swung my stick over my head in a counter-clockwise rotation before hitting his neck hard that it broke, literally. I guess that's how Demon bodies are fragile when they Empyrean weaponry is used against them.
   The second one strikes at me from the right. I blocked his strike while at the same time, grabbing the dull edge of his sword. I forcibly placed the entire blade onto his back so that he was restraint on a lock. Well it's an arm lock actually. It's really hard to explain it especially if you don't know some techniques in FMA. Anyway, while he was on that awkward lock, I repeatedly smashed his chest with my stick, then finally his neck. That's where you kill an enemy, you strike at the neck, be your weapon blunt or bladed.
   The last one was too far enough. I slid my stick on my back and lifted my rifle, placing three shots on his chest.
   As the Demon fell backwards, I continued running up the hill. The cries, dammit, THE CRIES! Where did I heard it? They were crying, O Good Lord. I don't know why but I hear them blaming me. I hear them crying for help while blaming me.
   Dammit, it's never my fault that they got killed back there. I didn't did that to those souls! They were caught in the crossfire! They were chained on walls being burned to ashes and then they were whole again. No, it's not my fault! I didn't hurt those souls. Why are they blaming me?
   "Do you hear the song of despair, Protektovare?" A dislocated voice asked behind me.
   Just in time, I saw a freaking sight. Three heads in one body wearing what looks like a waiter's attire. Its arms were attached on its ribcage instead of the shoulders. The right hand was replaced by a huge blade and the other had a gun. The faces, one on the neck and two on its shoulders were covered in Human hair by its eyes...its white marble-like eyes was surrounded with black thing, I don't know if it was black eye or eye bags, but it was dark. Their mouths are all stretched, farther than a Human jaw should allow. Mixed up voices were escaping from their throats. If I could do anything to close it, I would definitely do!
   "Oh Blackshot, you've done it. You've done it. YOU'VE DONE IT."
   "I shall walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." I muttered as I took a step back. "I will fear no evil."
   "Fear, for you have done it." It says as it approached.
   "NO! I WILL FEAR NO EVIL!" I yelled as I sent a fist at its primary face, the one on the neck. It took a step backwards as it raised its gun. I rolled to the right and raised my rifle. I opened fire at the head on its right shoulder, then three more on the left. It charged suddenly with a scream. Damn Void Screamer Legionnaires. I sent a punch at its face again, because why not? I like punching it.
   But the blade lacerated my chest diagonally.
   I took another step backwards and spitted. My saliva was mixed with blood. What was I thinking? Is my judgement clouded due to psychological trauma?
   I raised my right hand and roasted the enemy with a lightning strike. It fell to the side, sizzling and convulsing. Three more Void Screamers were charging, each yelling an incoherent yell. I fired at the nearest one while taking steps backward. It fell when it received enough damage to its chest. I switched my aim to the other one and fired relentlessly, burning its three faces with plasma shots. A shot to the chest killed it completely. The last one came close. I blasted it with streaks of light thrice, enemy down.
   I continued running up the hill. What's next? WHAT'S BLOODY NEXT?! I can feel it. I am really utterly pissed. I didn't do anything?! Why are they blaming me!
   "The PAIN IS TOO MUCH!" A figure yelled somewhere northeast of my position. I saw a skeleton wearing a red and black urban combat gear. Its armored hands had mounted blades. They were charging at me. Brotherhood of Blades Legionnaires. I slid my rifle back in the magnetic harness of my spine. There's no point in using it because the enemy has gotten close. I ducked as the Legionnaire swings at me. I sent a left hook at its jaw, breaking it, then a right elbow strike. With my right hand, I grabbed at its jaw, and my left hand, its left temple. I twisted its skull with all might and the ivory white debris came flying. The skull's empty eyes stares at me accusingly, like everything is my fault.
   Something grabbed me by my right shoulder. Another Blade Legionnaire, I thought. It raised its blade and impaled my chest.
   Blood clogged my throat. I choked and managed to spit out some of it. As a retaliation, I wrapped my right arm around his left arm with its hand under my armpit while I'm grabbing at its bony biceps. I struck at its chest with my elbow and I didn't expected it to go through.
   I grabbed the Demon's skull and removed it from its neck. I unpinned a magnetic grenade and attached it on the side. When I saw another Blade Legionnaire, I threw at it. The explosion didn't last a second because the Legionnaire was caught in a bright explosion.
   The last one was far enough for me to fight from a distance. I opened fire, showering it with plasma fire.
   I continued on, the pain is wearing me down. I gotta tell you, it hurts so bad. The madness, the fury, the anger, everything. I wanna fucking die. If there is a way to do it, I would have taken it.
   But the shortcut is already in front of me. Why am I running from it? I should have made all of this easier by throwing my weapons to the ground and letting them kill me? Why am I still fighting?
   "MEN! TAKE UP POSITIONS!"
   Crap, Squadronites! What's the difference between a Squadronite, Knight and a Legionnaire? The former was the disciplined arm of the Demon Caste, the middle one is the 'unholy' warriors of the Caste and the latter was the savage fighters of the Demon Caste that can be used as a cannon-fodder.
   They were all standing on the hill, eight in total. Finally, I thought they're only four. They wore a silver armor trimmed in blue. What do I mean by trimmed in blue? Their legs, knees and shoulders were covered in blue paddings. A vertical slit can be seen across the face plate of the Squadronites and two horns sticking out of their temples. That would be Hel Squadron.
   All Squadrons are named after the names of Hell. So when you see Hell Squadron or Gehenna Squadron, you run. Run like Hell.
   Nah, just kidding. Some kids back in the Remnant Order can destroy them.
   Their hand cannons attached on their left hand were aimed at me. I ran back the way I came as they started hailing plasmas. I glanced to my left and saw a tree large enough to hide me. I slid into cover, bark chippings flew almost everywhere.
   I aimed my right hand at them and blasted the nearest one with a pocket of wind, sending him elsewhere. His brethren was distracted momentarily so I blasted him with a bright light. I hid back and charged my hand with shadows. Yeah, it's an element that even the Angels can utilize. Not because it's called darkness doesn't mean it's evil. God created night, right?
   I covered their surroundings with darkness, temporarily blinding them. I revealed myself from cover while making a gesture: pumping my right fist in front of my face.
   In an instant, the headgear enveloped my whole head and the darkness that surrounds us became clear in an instant. The stupid Squadronites were scrambling like idiots. I raised my rifle and opened fire, taking them down one by one. Each plasma that had hit the platings of their armor splashed themselves in the surface, melting it and revealing the sizzling flesh of the dead Demons. The plasma had made it possible that their armors got infused with their damaged skin. The scene was horrific.
   When darkness dissipates, all I could see was dead Squadronites. I advanced up the hill, glad that no one is blocking my path.
   Then these three idiots came up.
   Three Demons from the Baron Caste, so we're going to call them Barons because that's what they are. Each one were robed in blue, red and white. The armors underneath matches the color of their robes, hell, even the faces as well! They also have two horns protruding out of their temples.
   Not to mention, their bald heads were very shiny. I guess they hired an Imp to wax them every Tuesday mornings.
   "We are here to judge you, Human." The blue one said.
   "Yes! Your sins are so great, will God ever forgive you?" The white one said.
    "I guess not. He doesn't belong to us since he destroyed most of our home. DEFINITELY he doesn't belong in Heaven." The red one says. "So the sentence is, to cease to exist."
    "Your existence never matters anyway." Says the white one. "A God who is so big and so enormous would focus on you? You are nothing but a pawn in a moral chess game played by your Jesus and Lucifer!"
   Then they laughed altogether.
   "Just die! That's what pawns good in anyway!" The red one says.
   "How about you shut up?" I yelled. Irritating voices, they already got in my nerve. I raised my Blast Rifle and opened fire at the red one since he's in the center. I never move, I never tried to run. I just stood there firing but he deflected all my shots.
   Then suddenly, the other two moved to either side of me, throwing flaming balls. I jumped back and they accidentally hit one another. While they were stunned, I aimed at the Blue Baron but the Red Baron sent a punch at my chest, causing me to roll backwards.
   "You're a PIECE OF SHIT! Why do you exist anyway?" He asked.
   I raised both my fist. I already anticipated his move. He sent a right sweeping kick so I raised my left knee, blocked it. I grabbed it and broke his leg by smashing my right elbow against his kneecap. When I saw a dagger sheathed on his belt, I pulled him closer and reached for it. He swung his left fist but I amputated his hand with a swing. This guy pisses me off. I impaled his chest repeatedly, then impaled his chin afterwards before throwing him behind me.
   The White Baron flew straight directly at me, I spun away, out of sight and he ended up hitting nothing but empty air. I raised my right hand and sent a powerful lightning surge,  transferring all my energy to him in a painful way.
   The Blue Baron launched another fireball at me. Darn it, these guys are probably straight out of either the Hell Academy or Duke Apprenticeship. They couldn't beat a single Protectorate?
   Or maybe my skills has just improved over time while I fought in Hell.
   I sent a kick at the White Baron. I pulled my Blast Rifle and opened fire at Blue Baron. Despite of my shots being deflected, I sprinted at him and jumped. I smashed his face with the butt of my rifle. When he took a step back, I drilled the bayonet in his abdomen and fired relentlessly until my Blast Rifle clicked empty. The Blue Baron fell backwards. He was gurgling dark crimson blood. I pulled the empty power cell and tossed it at the charging White Baron behind me. When the empty power cell hit him, I took advantage of the situation and immediately slapped a fresh new one. When the Blast Rifle hummed to life, I perforated the White Baron with plasma shots. I sprinted at him and literally punched through his face. My hand was bloodied and wet but I ignored it. The White Baron fell backwards, dead.
   The peak is near. I summoned all my strength to reach the top. And when I did, all I see waiting on it was a figure in black Praetorian Class Battle Gear with gold trim.
   "What the--"
   "Hello, me." It says as it turned at me. It was me, except the eyes are pitched black. It grinned, revealing sharp teeth and it suddenly hurled an axe that hits me in the chest.
   My headgear detracted as the head module smoke. I fell backwards and laid. My Doppelganger laughed as he approached me. He spitted, still wearing my skin with a scary face. I am dead. For sure.

Light envelops me. Something is not right. I stood up, everything is white.
   To my right was a light. Yeah, I know it sounds absurd but that light was bright than my already bright surroundings. Something is pushing me to follow it so I jogged at its position.
   When I reached it, I saw a field. Well, I was surrounded by a sea of verdant grass. On my far right was a vineyard with grapes. In the middle was a threshing floor with winged men operating it.
   "Beautiful, isn't it?" A deep calming and soothing voice asked from behind.
   I turned behind me and saw a man in a farmer's attire. He has a shoulder length hair and his goatee and beard fits his hair. His eyes stared directly at mine and his mouth wore a welcoming smile. I already know who he was.
   "S-sir!" I saluted, right hand on left breast.
   "No need, my child." The man said. No he's not a man, He's the Lord and Savior, what was I thinking? "You see the grapevine over there? The seeds are still developing. The fruit that became ripe and luscious gets exported to the Temple of My Father. While the sick looking ones were burned over there." He pointed at the threshold.
   "What is this place?"
   "My vineyard. The souls of my children represents each fruits that the vineyard produces."
   I stared at him, mouth open.
   "Of course, you're a warrior, a soldier who doesn't know any farming." He laughed as he faced me. "How are you, son?"
   "With all due respect, sir." Following protocol, I replied, "I'm not your son, sir. And secondly, I need to get back to battle."
   "What battle?" He asked again, laughing. "I called you here because of something important." He approached a winged woman carrying a basket. He grabbed a grape and showed it to me. "What do you see?"
   "That's a grape sir--"
   "No, what do you see?"
   I was about to answer the same thing when I saw something. The grape, it was dark violet. Round and fat, looks healthy. But inside, I saw a lady about my age, scarring herself. She was in tears. Her memories are flashing back and it simply shows her parents blaming her. Then another scene showed up where she was painting a wonderful portrait of their family together.
   He lifted another grape in my view, this one was green. It was clear and looks healthy than the other one but it looks unripe and it was remarkably small than the other. I stared at it and saw a boy, also my age, attending church every Sunday and even serving in the music ministry, but like all the bloody idiots out there, he was at a nightclub every Friday evenings.
   "My child," He called. "I've shown you that to make you understand that all souls are precious to Me and that every time you scar yourselves, be it with your actions or your weaknesses, it hurts Me. You are what you are and all of you have great purposes for My Will."
   I was silent. I didn't know what to say.
   "My child, you need to face your greatest enemy, yourself, and find your faith back to me. Be strong. Take my word as your sword and fight. That's the only way."
   "I'll have to go back, am I right?"
   "Are you afraid?"
   "No."
   "Good."

I opened my eyes wide awake and stood. My enemy is right in front of me, glaring at me with a grin.
   "Oh the fucking idiot is back." It says.
   "No, you're the idiot. Why did you copied me?"
   "To remind you how stupid you are." It grinned. An image flashed in my mind. "Remember that Rape Coliseum?"
   Rape Coliseum. It's an establishment in Hell where the souls guilty of prostitution, sex slavery, dishonesty and rape were sentenced. Nude men and women chained on the walls of the circular arena. I remembered Legionnaires, Barons, Earls and a whole lot of Demons from the Ten Demon Castes having their way on the chained and muffled souls. It was an unpleasant sight.
    "What am I gonna do with that?"
    "You've destroyed it." It says.
    That part was true. I wasn't myself at that time. I was confused and insane. The nearest being I saw was a Fallen Angel from the Legion of God's Sword. I killed him with my bare hands, but only when I had a broken rib and a dislocated shoulder. I healed myself and engaged all the Demons in there. I don't know what empowers me but I annihilated them all. I didn't stop. I killed the souls too and blew up the entire coliseum.
   Even if the soul is already sentenced, we were not allowed to touch them in any way. I guess they were resurrected or generated deeper in Hell along with the other killed Demons. Though, those Demons killed were recycled into Unclean Spirits--the weakest of all the Ten Castes. If they were destroyed again, they will be spawned in the Abyss or Tartarus where they will never respawn again. Most Demons I killed were ensnared there, be it on Earth or in Hell. A few lucky chaps became Spirits. But what do I care?
   "Or do you remember the aborted child?" It asked once more.
   Do I have to tell you what happened there? Well I have to warn you, this one is pretty disturbing. The red water that flows across the Mortis River was a leg-deep blood. If you scoop your hands in it, you will see little body parts floating. They were the bodies of the aborted. Their souls were up there in Heaven but their bodies are here. The Archdemon of Abortion resides there. When it summoned three 'Black Intercessors', I've slain all of them. They were the amalgamation of all the body parts in the river. It was bloody disgusting. They were screaming for help and crying to be 'let out' by I killed all of them anyway. I don't know what it was.
   "Or do you remember that incident in the Spike Palisade?"
   It's one of the bloody things I've done. I've impaled an Earl from his anus to the top of his skull just to tell the denizens of Hell that one of its provinces has fallen. Then I committed massacres after massacres in several Hell Academies, killing Demon children and spawnlings. Well, they're gonna be evil anyway but the horror in their faces as I pull their hearts from their chest and...shit I can't continue.
   "Too much madness, too much sin. There is no salvation for you, only damnation." It laughed.
   "No." I said as I charged. I forcibly remove the axe that it threw at my chest and swings it at the Doppelganger. It parries my attack with a twin hatchet. It swings so fast that I didn't felt the attack made on my legs, forcing me on my knees.
   "Ha! You're weak. Just accept your fate, kid. You are a sinful being, yes. But your Lord has completely abandoned you, you fucking idiot. Just die already! Oh wait, kill yourself, motherfucker."
   It may have my form but definitely, I am not that of a talkative. I grin. Blood oozes out of the back of my legs as I stood but the transparent armor fluids poured into my wound. Thank God for its healing properties. One of the reason why I'm alive as always.
   "What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not go after the lost one until he finds it?" I felt the Doppelganger winced as I turned to face him. I twirled my axe and hefted it. "And when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy and upon his arrival home, he calls together his friends and family..." The Doppelganger swings at me but I parried it with the staff of my axe and used its hilt to bash its left temple. I swung, amputating its left hand. "...and say to them, 'Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.' That's Luke 15:1-6 for you."
   "Oh yeah? You've indulged in pleasure by killing and committing those atrocities! You are no different than us! Maybe, Lucifer will have a great use of you." It grinned despite of the transparent liquid coming out of its left arm. "Worship him, you may even become one of his generals!"
   "Jesus said to him in reply, 'It is written that you shall worship the Lord your God and Him alone shall you serve. Luke 4:8." I said as I swing, amputating its right hand. A backward swing from me has amputated its right leg as well, making it lose its balance.
   "You fuckhead! Our army is numerous! We will win, we will win and you know that, Protektovare! You know it! You have seen it!" It says, referring to the Black Oracles that I have slain. I've seen the future and no doubt it's gonna happen.
   "Oh really?" I asked. "Too bad. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son that others might have eternal life. John 3:16. Keep that in mind." I said as I raised my axe and split its face in half. In an instant, the Doppelganger reverted back to its transparent form and became nothing but a puddle of water. It's dead.
   If I only knew what God has for me, I wouldn't be lost and let my Demons chase me repeatedly in the vowels of confusion and insanity. If I only knew...If I only knew...
   "Brother, are you alright?" About damn time.
   "Yes." I replied. Suddenly, the memories flashed back to me. We were sent here to destroy a Doppelganger amassing a force to attack a village northwest of my current location. We thought it was just a low class Doppelganger with some Monsters with it that's why we've brought an Inquisitorial Team of Tier-1s, only to get confused by the Amnesic Power Field that suppresses our memories. This had made it possible to get my men slaughtered and the Demons....they were strong and they seemed to hunt me for my sins.
   "Evac is coming."
   "Affirmative." I answered.