enterprise-fu

Mike Dalessio / @flavorjones
mike.daless.io / blog.flavorjon.es
Agile Asbury 2013

permalink: bit.ly/enterprise-asbury-2013
(best experienced in a modern browser)
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds.

— teddy roosevelt

or

like a samurai?
or

like a ninja samurai!

IT'S ANTI-AGILE-ZILLA

you know you're "enterprisey" if ...
WARNING:

Subversive Content Ahead

This advice is intended for full-time employees in non-agile circumstances.
This presentation represents my personal experience.

My views do not represent the views of Pivotal Labs, and I recommend that consultants ignore everything I'm about to say.
hell is other people
staying sane
learning to say "no"
budget and the zen of non-budget
controlling the conversation

Vaillant's "Defense Mechanisms"

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

— dale carnegie

If he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

— teddy roosevelt

(redux)
working with people on their own terms
"Some folks, you just can't reach."
"Some folks, you just can't reach."

why include tech debt and spikes in estimates?

(a tangent)

(difficult)

whew.
hell is other people
learn to read other people
A.B.D.
working code always beats vaporware
welcome other doers
learn how to compel the difficult ones
indulge the talkers
staying sane in an insane place
small wins, lots of them
hire for brains and personality (not skills)
learning to say "no"
own the outcome
learn to not-obey
budget and the art
of non-budget
make your infrastructure free
fund a stealth project
controlling the conversation
build a technical roadmap
talk about the technical roadmap
act on the technical roadmap
Stanley Bing, "Throwing the Elephant"
Dale Carnegie, "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
Wikipedia, Vaillant's "Defense Mechanisms"
Joel Spolsky, "Fire and Motion"
Rands in Repose
@flavorjones
@fieryflavrjones (NSFW)