Nothing right now
We waiting for our match
But we have a long time to go
:KEKW:
What’s up?

eluiuYesterday at 2:27 PM
john called ):

KitzuoYesterday at 2:27 PM
I figured as much, what happened?

eluiuYesterday at 2:28 PM
he
made a good point how i just run away from my problems
and its unfair for him..
i just feel conflicted

KitzuoYesterday at 2:30 PM
Hm
What’s the conflict?

eluiuYesterday at 2:31 PM
i
dont know what i want to do

KitzuoYesterday at 2:32 PM
Let’s figure this out logically
So I think
The first most important thing is
You shouldn’t make a decision if you’re really sad
Or angry
You should take time to collect your thoughts if that’s possible
Or get your mind off it
And return to it at a later time
But I think what it will boil down to is what the choices are
And once you lay those out we can talk about the best path to take for you

eluiuYesterday at 2:33 PM
its
whether to give john another chance or not
bc i was really unfair to him

KitzuoYesterday at 2:35 PM
Why do you think that
You were being unfair to him

eluiuYesterday at 2:35 PM
id bottle my feelings
hed constantly ask me if i was ok
and id dodge it
and id just
explode
and leave without giving him a chance to react
but
i feel so bad now

KitzuoYesterday at 2:37 PM
Hm
Okay I think you’re really sad at the moment so I don’t think you make any rash decisions
Or big decisions yet
I have some immediate thoughts
Do you want to talk about it now?

eluiuYesterday at 2:38 PM
idk
idk when i would wanna talk about it

KitzuoYesterday at 2:38 PM
I think it’s going to bother you
For the whole day
Anyways

eluiuYesterday at 2:38 PM
mhm

KitzuoYesterday at 2:38 PM
So let’s talk about it
First and foremost
This is the 2nd time he’s come back and made you feel bad for him and consider giving him another chance right
Or maybe not 2nd maybe 3rd or whatever
But it’s happened a couple of times for sure
So if you look back at why you broke up with him the 1st and 2nd time, and how you felt in your relationship
You talked about how he made you feel
And it didn’t seem to me like you were happy
So i should ask if you get back with him would you feel fulfillment and happiness with yourself?

eluiuYesterday at 2:41 PM
i dont know
we finally sat down and talked about our problems
bc i never gave him the chance to do that before

KitzuoYesterday at 2:43 PM
Hmm
You guys didn’t talk about that
When you guys first got back together?
Like problems and stuff
And mediate
Like when you said you would create more distance

eluiuYesterday at 2:43 PM
i
not really

KitzuoYesterday at 2:44 PM
Hmm
What was it like when that happened
What was the discussion like
When you guys got back together

eluiuYesterday at 2:44 PM
i told him id try harder

KitzuoYesterday at 2:45 PM
And what’d he say?

eluiuYesterday at 2:45 PM
and he just trusted me
telling me ok

KitzuoYesterday at 2:45 PM
That’s not what I mean
You didn’t tell him what you wanted
Him to do
Or he didn’t compensate?

eluiuYesterday at 2:45 PM
no

KitzuoYesterday at 2:46 PM
When you guys broke up both times
Did you tell him
Why you were breaking up with him

eluiuYesterday at 2:46 PM
yes
bc it was hard to leave u

KitzuoYesterday at 2:47 PM
Mhm
So you must feel like
It’s your fault
The relationship didn’t work out?
And he’s not at fault?

eluiuYesterday at 2:47 PM
i feel burden
i feel like
this whole situation
is unfair to you
and john
bc i keep making
mistakes

KitzuoYesterday at 2:48 PM
Like what

eluiuYesterday at 2:49 PM
i keep
givingin
or giving up kind of

KitzuoYesterday at 2:50 PM
I don’t think that’s true
At all
You’re in a headspace right now where you’re thinking very negatively of yourself
And that’s not a good place to be
Because it’s very hard to identify correctly
You maybe feel that way now but
I have a hunch that you were told that’s what you were doing
Or it’s being framed in that way
To either manipulate your thoughts or make you feel bad and seem at fault
At a situation that really isn’t

eluiuYesterday at 2:52 PM
what if i just
do feel at fault

KitzuoYesterday at 2:52 PM
Let’s talk about why that is
Then

eluiuYesterday at 2:52 PM
i told you why

KitzuoYesterday at 2:52 PM
Yeah

eluiuYesterday at 2:52 PM
i never gave him a chance

KitzuoYesterday at 2:52 PM
Because you feel like you make mistakes

eluiuYesterday at 2:53 PM
to express himself
meanwhile the whole time i was hesitant to trust anything he said
then
the second i break up with him
i just
run back to u
telling you
i want to be there for you
no mattet what
matter what
i
wish i could
just
idk

KitzuoYesterday at 2:54 PM
Calm down
Deep breaths
Let’s take a second
Wait I think I lagged one sec
I don’t think it’s fair to say that you didn’t give him a chance to express himself
Remember the first time you guys broke up
He called u a lot to talk
About everything
I’m not sure what you guys talked about but you guys definitely talked a lot
For hours
To say that you didn’t give him a chance to express himself
Is just false
You’re not giving yourself credit there
You guys talked about me
And his problems with me
That’s why he apologized to me
You did express yourself
When you talked about what our relationship was and consoled him
But I think it’s immature of him to do stuff
That clearly bothers you
While you’re putting in effort
To try and fix your problems
You definitely have addressed
This passive aggressive thing
You also definitely addressed the restrictions thing
But why are those things still in place
On top of you having to do things
To compensate for him
Despite him
Saying he understands
You
This seems one sided no?
Emily?

eluiuYesterday at 3:09 PM
im
just thinking

KitzuoYesterday at 3:09 PM
Mmk

eluiuYesterday at 3:09 PM
my
heart is just everywhere right now

KitzuoYesterday at 3:10 PM
That’s okay, take your time

eluiuYesterday at 3:31 PM
id ton know
if saying it was one sided
is accurate
john tried very hard to be ok with everything
its just
hard
to witness your gf
interact in any way with her 5 year ex

KitzuoYesterday at 3:32 PM
It’s true

eluiuYesterday at 3:32 PM
bc he knows u have feelings for me

KitzuoYesterday at 3:33 PM
Yeah of course that’s hard
But wouldn’t you say it’s also hard to stay away from someone that you care that deeply about still? And that it’s unfair that we’re unable to be in a relationship because of something that we can’t even control?

eluiuYesterday at 3:34 PM
i think
the underlying problem is that
im afraid to tell him
i still have feelings for you
that we broke up
still having feelings for each other
he thinks thats ive moved on in that sense
thats why he believes its the absolute right thing to distance myself from u

KitzuoYesterday at 3:35 PM
That makes a lot of sense

eluiuYesterday at 3:35 PM
so you can move on too

KitzuoYesterday at 3:35 PM
Hm
That’s a big part of where the problem lies
I would agree 100%
That’s something I didn’t know
But I don’t think
It’s correct of you to say
Everything was bottled up