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Nickelodeon was always fun to watch, in my opinion, especially Jimmy Neutron. I had a bunch of episodes on tape, and even had the movie on DVD. So when I heard that Planet Sheen was coming out, naturally, I was pumped. In fact, so much so that I decided to be adventurous enough to search for a torrent of the first episode before its release. And yes, I know what you're thinking; I didn't find the episode 'on the deep web' and the characters don't commit suicide, or kill each other. Anyhow.

After a day or so of near non-stop browsing, I finally found the first episode on my favorite torrenting site, which I'll leave unnamed. It said it was a Brazilian dub, but honestly, I didn't even care, I just wanted to see the episode. I didn't want to wait until the next day; I needed it then and there. I wish I had waited.

In my Bittorent client, it was named "PlanEtSh3En-Brzl_DuB-EArlYR1EasE~Alt.mp4". It must have been the odd capitalization and way it was partially spelled with numbers, but I felt a little sick trying to read this title. It just looked wrong. Plus, I was confused about the "Alt" at the end. Did this mean it was an alternate version of the episode or something? A specialized, region-locked airing? I had to find out.

Opening the file once it finished downloading, (there weren't any people seeding it, so it took a good two or three hours) I practically spam-clicked it, and it opened in VLC. The first thing I noticed was the loud hum of what I guessed to be a ceiling fan, and adult voices yelling in the background in a language that sounded like Spanish. The second thing was the shaking camera, recording the television in extremely low quality, about 240p if I recall. Nickelodeon ads were airing in the same foreign language; I recognized none of them.

The Planet Sheen intro started after a few minutes of advertisements, and I heard the person recording, who I had now identified as a young girl, whisper excitedly in Spanish. I was just as excited as her, practically shaking in my socks. The intro finished after a minute or two, and the show started. It wasn't in English, just as advertised I sat there watching intently. About 15 minutes in, whilst Sheen was talking to alien royalty, the camera turned to behind whoever was recording. It focused on a trashed hallway with rotting wooden steps leading to another floor at the end, and the yelling became increasingly louder.

I heard the word "cocaína" and the only the thing that went through my mind at that moment was "What the actual fuck." The camera focused back on the television and the episode resumed, but a moment later I heard footsteps and a knock on the door. Someone opened it, and then I heard gunshots. At this point, the girl with the camera, a pink and black blur, ducked under a faded, beaten puke-colored couch facing the tv. I could faintly make out her trembling face as she hid under the couch, the camera having been directed almost exactly on her as she threw it to the side.

Dirty black boots stepped in front of the camera, and a gruff voice said something, again in Spanish, before dragging the bawling young girl off. I heard muffled screams and cries, along with thumping, and tried not to imagine the worst. Meanwhile, more gunshots pierced my ears furiously as the cartoon I had come for droned on, the camera still focused on the darkness of the couch's underside. Eventually, everything went quiet as the outtro of the show played.

The camera, as if being lifted by a string, slowly lifted up, revealing above the couch, several heavily mutilated corpses of the residents with bloodied white bags covering their heads, including the young girl on top. The DNA Productions end card played as the camera focused on the corpses.

The child's corpse twitched as it played, the monkey repeating his line.


"Hi, I'm Paul!"