Peridot's Predicament

“STEVEN! STEVEN! STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN, QUICK! IT’S AN EMERGENCY!”

“Hold on Peridot, I’m coming!”

Steven practically flew right off of Lion’s back, and booked it towards the barn so fast his flip-flops kept nearly flying off. His heart was racing and his palms were sweaty as he thought back to that brief, unnerving message he woke up to on his phone.

“HELP”

Peridot didn’t clarify that message with any others, and hearing just how pained her voice sounded as she shrieked from the barn caused all kinds of scary thoughts to race through Steven’s mind. Was she being mauled by a Corrupted Gem? Did Yellow Diamond finally send a death squad to punish her for calling her the “C-word”? Or did a killer scarecrow come after her like in that horror movie they watched a few days ago?

No matter the case though, Steven was ready to protect his little green friend with everything he had: he summoned his trusty pink shield and kicked the doors open as he leaped inside.

“Peridot, I’m here!” he cried out encouragingly. Thankfully, Peridot was still in one piece but noticeably frazzled: her triangular hair was standing on end and she was flashing her canines as she glared at Steven.

“It’s about time you showed up!” she ranted in that nasally voice of hers as she ran up to Steven. “I thought you were going to let me shatter!”

“Let you shatter? Come on Peri, after everything we’ve been through, do you really think I’d do that?”

“Well… no…” Peridot’s answer was meek and shaky, “But you still took too long to get here, you clod!”

“And I’m really sorry about that!” Steven apologized with the utmost sincerity, “So please, just calm down and let me make it up to you!”

Peridot flinched, going a little grey around the gills as she pressed her hands to her stomach. She let out a cute little whimper similar to that of a puppy before stepping closer to Steven, who stared at her in confusion. “Well, since you’re serious about assisting me… there appears to be a problem with my core.”

“Your core?” Steven asked, his initial confusion fading away when he looked at Peridot’s stomach and had an epiphany. “Oh, you mean your stomach! But what kind of problem are you talking about?”

Droplets of pale green sweat rolled down Peridot’s forehead, and she glanced nervously over her shoulder. “I don’t know! One minute, I’m watching a Star Voyage tape and everything is fine. Then suddenly, there’s this odd pain in my core!”

“Pain, huh?”

“Yes, Steven Quartz! PAIN!” Peridot shrieked while clutching her stomach, “I don’t even know how to describe it, but there’s this sensation of something small stabbing me in my core! And sometimes, it’s accompanied by an odd noise that I can only describe as a swampy bubbling…”

*Slrsh-GRRRRRRRL…*

Peridot jumped a foot into the air and squealed, crossing her arms over her stomach and doubling over in pain. “AGH, LIKE THAT! Oh it hurts so much…!”

It was sad, watching poor Peridot cowering and whimpering in pain like this. And yet, it put the biggest smile on Steven’s face. He knew exactly what Peridot was experiencing, and he was happy to introduce yet another earthly concept to his ex-Homeworlder friend.

“Well I’ve got good news for you Peri: you’re not going to be shattered!”

Peridot looked up and tilted her head in confusion. “I’m not? But it feels like I’ve got a Crystal Shrimp eating away at my insides! Oh it hurts so much…”

“Actually, you’ve got the opposite problem!” Steven said, pointing at her stomach. “You don’t have anything inside of you! You’re just hungry, that’s all!”

“Hungry…” Peridot mused to herself, squinting suspiciously at Steven before glancing back down to her middle. “Your programs have educated me as to what hunger is, but… is that really it?”

“I think so!” said Steven, “The pain you’re talking about sounds like hunger pangs, and those noises are just your stomach growling!”

With uncanny timing, Peridot’s stomach made a noise that sounded eerily close to whalesong, and Steven could see her belly rippling from the force of it’s noises. Peridot cringed and covered her middle in embarrassment, but found it in her to look back up at Steven.

“Well you certainly seem to know what you’re talking about, but… I can’t be hungry!” she protested, “I’m a Gem, I don’t need to eat! Why would my body decide that it needs food all of a sudden?”

*GLRRRRRRRK*

Peridot winced, digging her fingers into her slightly soft stomach right as another deep growl ripped through her core. “My stars… I’m not corrupting, am I?”

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’re definitely not corrupting!” Steven said, smiling widely in reassurance, “Maybe your body’s reacting to the way you’ve finally decided to settle down on Earth?”

“Hmm… well, it seems like just about every life form on Earth eats in some way…” Peridot speculated, rubbing her stomach contemplatively, “I’m not sure if I necessarily believe that’s the case, but currently it’s the only explanation that makes sense.”

“Yeah, I’m not really that sure either. But what we do know is that you’re super hungry, and I know just how to fix that!” Steven took Peridot by the hand, and the little green Gem yelped as she was yanked out of the barn and dragged over to Lion, who looked majestic as he reclined on the grass, his fluffy pink mane billowing in the wind.

“Hey Lion, take us back to the temple! Peridot’s gut is feeling kinda growly, so I’m gonna fix her something to eat!”

Peridot’s stomach gurgled loudly and Lion’s ears folded back as he stared fearfully at her noisy middle, seemingly worried about how painful it sounded. He chuffed loudly and stood up, allowing Peridot and Steven to hop onto his back.

“Thanks, buddy! Now MUSH!”

With a gentle smack on Lion’s side, the big cat roared open a portal to the Crystal Temple and leaped through. The trio landed in the temple’s kitchen, and the portal closed behind them as quickly as it opened. Pleased with Lion’s cooperativeness, Steven opened the freezer and tossed the cat a lion licker.

“Hey Lion, catch!”

He tossed it, and while Lion ferociously tore the plastic wrapping off the ice cream Steven looked back into the freezer and pulled out a box of frozen waffles.

“Alright Peri, since this is your first meal I want it to be a special one! So if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes, I’m gonna fix up a Together Breakfast!”

“And what, may I ask, is a Together Breakfast?”

Steven laughed as he opened the fridge and pulled out a can of whipped cream. “A special Steveny snack that most people have never eaten! I’ve made them with the Gems, Connie, my dad… and now you! It’s like being part of a secret club!”

“A secret club, you say?” Peridot giggled smugly, rubbing her little hands together. “I like the sound of that! Oh, all the other Peridots on Homeworld would be so jealous if they knew!”

*GLOOOOOORGLE!*

Peridot moaned as she rubbed her rippling, roaring belly, going from smug to suffering in a heartbeat. “Oof… don’t think they’d be jealous of this, though…”

Peridot plopped down on the nearby couch while Steven got more ingredients out, and sighed deeply. He pulled out a bag of popcorn and threw it into the microwave and put a few waffles in the toaster as fast as he could, but there was no speeding up the actual cooking time. A fact that made Steven feel guilty when he heard Peridot moaning in pain.

“I have no idea what you’re cooking, but it smells so good…” she sobbed from the couch. “Ooh, I feel like I’m going to shatter…”

“Just hang on, Peridot! It’ll be ready before you know it!”

It didn’t take long for the waffles to be done toasting, but since he had a hungry friend waiting for them it felt like an eternity for Steven. And once his first pair of waffles were done, he popped in a fresh pair and heard a deep groaning sound all the way from the couch.

“Peridot, was that your stomach?!” Steven asked, utterly shocked when the starving Gem nodded weakly. “Geez! I’ve never heard stomach noises that loud before! And trust me, Amethyst’s gut can get super noisy.”

“Well I’m super starving…” Peridot shrieked and pounded her fists against the couch. “GAH! THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG!”

“Don’t worry Peridot, it’s almost ready!” Steven promised when the second pair of waffles finished toasting, and the popcorn stopped popping. “I’ve just gotta toast one more pair of waffles!”

*ROOOOOOOAR!*

The roar of Peridot’s stomach was as ferocious as her roar of anger as she ripped a cushion from the couch. “Oh forget it! I’ll just eat this instead!”

Steven gasped, and set the container of strawberries he got out on the kitchen counter while Peridot lunged forward and took a big bite of couch cushion. “No no no no no! PERIDOT, STOP!”

Steven ran towards the couch and grabbed the cushion. He put all the strength he could muster into yanking it away, but it seemed that hunger provided Peridot a real heck of a strength boost, because she would not let go. Growling angrily at Steven’s defiance, Peridot bit down even harder and began shaking her head around like a dog as she pulled back on it with her hands.

“Peridot, spit it out!” The boy pleaded, “That’s not food!”

Peridot mumbled incoherently though a mouthful of cushion before thrashing her head around again. Feeling his fingers lose their grip on it, Steven did some quick thinking and simply tackled the cushion. Peridot yelped as his weight sent her and her would-be meal crashing to the ground, and the impact made her lose her grip on the cushion. Steven grabbed it and held it triumphantly over his head.

“Ha! And now you can’t-“

Steven was now aware of the fact that the part of the cushion his left hand grabbed was moist and coated in slobber.

“Ew, that’s so GROSS!”

Steven flung the cushion over his shoulder, and Peridot laughed maniacally before defiantly sticking out her greyish tongue.

“NYAH! Take that, Steven Quartz!”

Peridot cackled gleefully as she took off in hot pursuit of the cushion, but before Steven could stop her he could hear the final pair of waffles pop out of the toaster.

“Hey Peri, sounds like your food’s ready!”

“OH, FINALLY!” Peridot groaned as she and Steven peacefully entered the kitchen, the fallen cushion all but forgotten, “I thought I was going to starve!”

“I’m really sorry about that Peri, but trust me! It’s gonna be worth the wait!”

Steven grabbed the plate that already had four waffles on it, and topped them with the two that were in the toaster. Peridot stood by his side, drooling in anticipation as he grabbed a can of whipped cream and sprayed a large spritz on the top waffle. Next came the maple syrup, which he drizzled gracefully. Then the popcorn, which he tossed onto the waffles causing some to cling to the whipped cream while others clattered onto the plate. And last but not least, he topped off his creation with a single strawberry, daintily placed right on top of the whipped cream.

“Voila!” Steven said as he held the plate towards Peridot, “Your together breakfast! It’s best to eat this with a fork, so-“

Peridot yanked the breakfast right off the plate and crammed as much of it into her mouth as she could, which proved to be almost half of the first three waffles on the stack. Moaning with glee and with syrup and whipped cream smeared across her face, Peridot looked like a green cat with rabies as she swallowed and tore back into the breakfast, getting more popcorn on the ground than into her mouth. She polished off the top half of the stack, leaving three waffles in her hand while she gulped down her current mouthful.

“IT’S SO GOOD OH MY STARS-!”

Steven chuckled as Peridot was now attacking the bottom half of the stack, promptly biting that one in half as well. Taking a broom and dustpan and sweeping up all the stray popcorn scattered across the floor, the boy was quite pleased to see that his favorite snack was a hit with his new friend. Peridot had sacrificed so much to stay with the Crystal Gems: her home, her standing with Yellow Diamond, her personal safety, Homeworld’s stability… and as he watched her embrace a concept as foreign as eating with open arms, he knew she made the right choice in denouncing her Diamond.

“Ooh, ha ha…” Peridot slurped the syrup sticking to her fingers and rested a hand on her stomach, which Steven noticed had formed a cute little potbelly. She drummed her fingers on it, and giggled again while giving it a happy little pat. “Steven, I think it’s safe to say tha-UUUUUUURP!”

Peridot covered her mouth in shock, blushing brilliantly as she comprehended the roaring belch that exploded right out of her tiny little body. “What in the world-?!“

“Don’t worry Peridot, it’s just a burp! Those tend to happen after you eat, especially when you gorge yourself like that!”

“Wha- I didn’t gorge, Steven!” Peridot snapped before smiling once again. “I enjoyed your together breakfast! Who do you think I am, Amethyst?”

“Well…” Steven grinned, and poked her right in her bulging belly. With a startled cry of “Eep!” Peridot smacked Steven’s hand away and defensively covered her middle.

“Hands off, you pebble!” she snarled, hissing for emphasis.

“I’m just teasing, Peridot!” Steven laughed as Peridot continued glaring at him, “Seriously, I’m glad you enjoyed my Together Breakfast!”

Peridot’s frown shifted into a smile. “Enjoyed it I did, Steven Quartz. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced! So sweet, so soft…” *urp!*

Peridot let out a dainty little belch, and sighed deeply as she patted her taut tummy. “Oog, filling too… though I don’t get it…”

“Get what?”

“I ate that entire Together Breakfast, but my stomach’s still making noise! Listen!”

Steven walked up to Peridot, got on his knees, and put his ear on Peridot’s stomach just in time for it let out a pained groan. The groan was accompanied by a lot of sloshing and churning, and Steven smiled as he stood back up.

“Don’t worry, that’s normal too! When you stomach digests food, it can make a ton of noise in the process.”

“So when I don’t eat, my stomach rumbles. When I DO eat, it still rumbles! How annoying…” Peridot huffed, crossing her arms and pouting.

“Well, it didn’t help that you totally stuffed yourself!” Steven teased. Peridot blushed again, but she couldn’t deny the truth of his words.

“You aren’t wrong, I suppose… I definitely could have shown some restraint with your Together Breakfast.”

*GLURK GLURK CHRRRRRN*

Peridot flinched and groaned, clutching her stomach after that particularly painful series of gurgles.

“Are you okay?” Steven asked, concerned by the obvious physical distress she was in.

“I-I’m fine,” Peridot said, still clutching and squeezing her stomach. “Mostly. I think I may have overdone it just a tad- BRARP!”

“Sounds like more than a tad. Here, let me help!”

Steven licked his hand and approached Peridot, who screamed in disgust and backed away. “EW! Don’t you dare touch me, Steven! I mean it! Don- ooh…”

Despite the little Gem’s protests, Steven rested his hand on her belly. And like he had hoped, his healing spit went straight to work and soothed the pain in her belly. Peridot felt it fade away, only to close her eyes and feel herself drifting away too when a calm warmth took it’s place. “Ooh, that feels pretty nice…”

She fell flat on her back, and let out a quick “Ow.” before losing herself to peace and tranquility once more.

“Sorry!” Steven apologized meekly. Peridot responded with a silent thumbs up, and the boy was relieved to know that all was good.

“So… you want me to move you onto the couch, or a bed, or…”

Peridot flashed a thumbs down, and Steven shrugged. “Floor it is, then! Anyway, I’m gonna go upstairs and play some video games. I’ll make sure the volume’s low in case you want to sleep down there!”

Another thumbs up. “Alright! See you later, Peri! If you need anything, give me a holler!”

As Steven walked up the stairs to his loft, he turned and grinned at the sight of Peridot closing her eyes. Her chest heaved slowly, and upon close and careful listening, he could hear light snoring mixed in with her stomach’s soft gurgling.

‘Yep! Looks like her first meal was a hit!’ Steven thought to himself as he turned his TV on. ‘I wonder what she’ll want to eat next. Maybe I could take her to the Fish Stew Pizza, or have dad grill her some burgers! Ooh, or maybe we could visit Fryman’s! Now that I think about it, I barely hang out with Peedee anymore…’