Gaming in the 90s!

>be me, bonky
>with my friend, pickle horse-man
>we're playing chip n' dale rescue rangers for the nes
>he keeps throwing blocks at me
>he keeps stunning me
>he keeps picking me up
>he keeps throwing me
>he keeps throwing me off chasms
>he keeps throwing me into enemies
>he keeps stealing the powerups
>i'm sweating
>sharp jolts are running up my arm
>i'm biting the inside of my cheek
>i'm vibrating within and without
>i feel like i'm about to have an aneurysm
>my eyes are filled with blood
>i'm crying
>i'm screaming
>i'm hyperventilating like a caged beast
>i scream "i hate this game!"
>i can't put it down
>i can't stop playing
>i'm losing lives
>he's saying "it's just a game"
>i'm saying "what, bin laden?
>what, osama?
>what, 9/11?
>what, the arabs?
>what, iraq?
>what, cheney?
>what, bush?
>what, rove?"
>was that all a game to you, pickle homer?"
>"WAS THE IRAQ WAR JUST A GAME?"
>i'm having  ptsd flashbacks to wars i have never been in
>i'm seeing the brutality of this earth in all timelines
>i'm seeing the brutality of this earth in all dimensions
>i'm being tortured by a capcom game from the 90s
>the torture is exacting and perfect
>every detail of the game elicits more pain
>why would they design it like this
>why would they let you throw your ally
>why would they let you put him in harm's way
>why would they let you murder your friend
>why would they let you betray your ally
>it's a kid's game
>it's supposed to be a kid's game
>it's a kids game
>they're going to hell for this
>god will strike them
>god will strike this game
>they're going to hell for this
>god will strike them
>god will strike this game
>i'm crying
>i'm hyperventilating
>i'm shaking
>i'm a quivering mass of raw, exposed nerve endings
>i'm in the hypercube
>i'm in the lament configuration
>i'm in the tuskegee syphilis study
>i'm in the hands of the nazi doctors
>what kind of freak would design a game like this
>what kind of freak would design a world like this
>what kind of freak would create reality like this
>i'm a little freak caught in a helltrap
>i'm not worthy of love
>i'm not worthy of respect
>i'm not worthy of dignity
>he throws my character off the side of some construction scaffolding
>my scream hits a pitch never heard before
>God hears it
>god hears my cries
>god hears my screams
>god hears my shreiks and shreiks and shreiks and shreiks of anguish and terror
>god hears my cries of anguish and terror
>god fills my brain with pustules and blisters and boils and oozing pus
>god is squeezing my brain like a sponge
> like an orange
>like a soft ball
>like a rotten tomato
>god throws me into a pit of oozing pus
>into a pit of burning lava
>into a burning vat of acid
>god squeezes me like a bag of lemons
>like a bag of oranges
>like a bag of grapes
>like a bag of grapefruits
>like a bag of apples
>like a bag of pears
>like a bag of peaches
>i'm fruity!
>i'm bursting with flavor!
>i feel like i'm about to burst
>i feel like i'm literally about to burst into fruit flavors!
>i'm bursting with watermelon flavor!
>i'm bursting with ripe melon flavor!
>i'm bursting with juicy pear flavor!
>i'm bursting with crisp apple!
>i'm bursting with sweet peach flavor!
>i'm bursting with ripe mango flavor!
>all the flavors of nature!
>pickle homer throws my little chipmunk into the power lines!
>i get a game over!
>i am sent!
>he's going to keep playing!
>he's going to keep playing without player 2!
>i'm living my greatest nightmare!
>he's going to have all the fun!
>he's going to beat the game without me!
>he's at the first boss!
>i've never seen the first boss before!
>i can't breathe!!!
>it hits him with lightning!
>he dies!
>"let's play something else" he says
>he throws the controller into a pile of empty cream and grape soda bottles
>he wades through the empty cream and grape soda bottles
>he puts in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ('89)