More Than a Royal Guard by TheAlmightyAutist (Luna)(Anon)

>"Four of a kind!"
>The rest of the table groans in defeat, tossing their cards down
>All except you
>You take a drag of a cigarette, flicking the ash into your ash-tray
>You had an ever growing pile of chips on your side of the table, before you pushed them all in
>Gold Lance had his own pile, but he was never one for backing down, and he called your bluff almost immediately
>Now was the time for the showdown
>The other two players; both royal guards and good friends, had nothing left
>Not even hope that their cards would somehow be good enough to beat Shining
>The the game has basically been a battle of “which one of you can bankrupt them first”, with them only offering token resistance in the form of lucky card draws
>As it turns out, Shining thinks he’s just eliminated everyone
>The colt needs to learn his place
>Lance leant over the table to wrap his hooves around the pile of chips
>He freezes when you notice that you didn't put down your cards
>"Anon?"
>He loses his confident smile as you stub out your cigarette, laying your cards on the table
"Straight flush"
>Gold's face explodes into fear like a midget in a microwave
>You reach over and bat his hooves away from YOUR poker chips
"I'll be giving these a good home on my side of the table, thank you"
>He grinds his teeth and leans back
>You notice a smile tugging at the corner of his lips
>"You're a bastard"
>You nod, a shiteating grin splitting your face in two
"I know"
>You smile back and make a show of organising your chips
>Arranged like a line of infantry in front of you, lesser ranks in the front, higher-ups in the back
>The other two colts at the table are shaking their heads, looking at you with a mixture of scorn and respect
>Silver Chariot leans back slightly, the wooden chair beneath him groaning
>>"How do you do it, Anon?"
>You blink, adopting a coy expression
"Why whatever do you mean?"
>Gold Lance slams his hoof down on the table
>He jostles your chips collapsing two towers
>Goldie did 9/11
>"This!”
>He’s yelling, not in anger, or at least it’s not serious anger
>He’s just a little frustrated
>Before you came along, I was the best Poker player in the guard!”
>He laughs and shakes his head
>”I swear to the gods you're cheating"
>Scowling, you meticulously pick up the fallen chips and put them back in order
>You shoot all the players a look
"As if I need to cheat. You all suck at bluffing"
Silver Chariot gasps at the accusation
>>>"We do not!"
>Across the table, Blue Night puffs air out through his lips in a mirthful whicker
>>"Oh please, YOU could barely keep your cards hidden"
>Lance looks at him, folding his front hooves
>"Oh, and I suppose you never smile like an idiot when you have a good hand?"
>You count your chips again
>Do you feel guilty about sparking an argument around you, while you sit in your ivory tower with all the money?
>Happymerchant.png
>You take a sip of your hard cider
>It’s some good shit
>Setting down the mug, you break up the bickering with three simple words;
"Ponies can't bluff."
>All three of the guards gasp
>Gold Lance shakes his head, hunching himself deeper into the chair like a school-colt
>"That's racist!"
>You hold up a finger, wagging it from side to side
>All the ponies present watch it like a cat would
"Actually, it's species-ist, seeing as how I'm not a race of pony."
>Lance stares at you
>"That makes it better?"
>Shaking your head, you pick up the deck of cards and begin shuffling them with practiced ease
>Your fingers have almost always made you the dealer when it came to this sort of thing
>Ponies know nothing of sleight of hand, so as long as you dazzle them with card tricks, you can keep taking their chips
>You are not an honest man when it comes to poker
"No, just get it right when you insult me next time"
>Night watches you cut the deck, place both halves on the table, and put them back together with a hundred fluttering sounds
>>"Why do we keep inviting you to play?"
>You stop shuffling, and offer him a pout
>They weren’t used to seeing a twenty-odd year old man pout
"Because I get lonely”
>They offer you varying degrees of sarcasm
>You get a tad more serious, your face morphing back to how it was before
“And if I get too ‘depressed”
>You stress the air quotes
“Twilight Sparkle will come in here with her gadgets and gizmos and string you all up by your bollocks"
>Gold Lance points a hoof at you with a nod
>"That is a good point. Twilight is obsessed with him."
>Night knits his bushy eyebrows together
>>"Obsessed?"
>You look at him, dealing out their next hand of cards, while double dealing a full house to yourself
"Why do you think I'm HERE, and not in Ponyville? I didn't WANT to hide in the mountains. I joined the Royal Guards to get AWAY from Twilight. As far away as possible while still remaining around ponies."
>Night, clearly much more curious about you than anypony else at the table, continues to ask questions
>You didn’t blame him, until a few days ago he was a freshie, straight out of boot
>Yelped in fear everytime he saw your lumbering ass turn a corner, dressed to the nines in your plate mail
>You don’t know what Silver or Gold Lance saw in him, but it must have ben pretty special
>He was at your private poker nights, after all
>He was a good kid, just a bit too curious
>.Which lead to him getting his ass beat more than once
>>”Why didn’y you just go to Vanhoofer? Or Stalliongrad?”
>You rest an elbow on the table, making a cutting motion towards him with your hand
“Listen, back in my world those places were called Vancouver and Stalingrad. I already struggle not to have an aneurysm from puns every day, I don’t need to live in one.”
>Now it was Silver’s turn to look confused
>>>”Puns? What puns?”
>You sigh
“That’s why the aneurysms. Nobody, nopony, NO ONE knows that they’re making puns!”
>You light another fag
.Back on Earth you never smoked
>Here you had to, it kept you calm and collected in this world of flat pastel and wholesomeness
>Smoking was your sleaze
>Gold Lance didn’t approve
>”You know the Nurse will chew your ear off about smoking,”
>You blow a cloud of smoke towards him in spite
“Please. Equestian cigarettes are the weakest shit ever. I bet you have magically enhanced filters to make sure there are NO bad chemicals.”
>Night nods
>>”Actually we do.”
>You point at him, biting your cheeks
“My point exactly. Half the fun of smoking is that it’s bad for you.”
>Gold rolls his eyes
>There’s a clinking sound in the middle of the table
>With allt he chips in play, the stallions around you were starting to deal in real-life money
>Now was the time you stopped your double dealing and sleight of hand tricks
>You were a bastard who liked to feel good at poker
>But you weren’t a thief
>Cheating at poker with real-life stakes was a sure-fire way to lose friends
>Which is why you double dealt yourself a full house, and Night a Royal Flush
>He was positively giddy
>His hind legs were twitching
>His face, however, a cool and serene picture of calm
>You narrow your eyes at him
>He pretends to not notice
>The other two watch you intently
>Silver and Shining both smile
>You were trying to make him break
>If he didn’t, then you folded
>You hadn’t folded once the whole game
>They were waiting for him to buckle
>You were about to blow their minds
>All of a sudden you draw back in your seat, fast enough to cause a breeze to knock over a precariously-positioned pile of chips
>Night watches you, unsure of what’s going on
>You toss your cards down, making sure the others knew what hand you had
“I fold.”
>Gold Lance and SIlver’s mouths dropped open
>They almost thudded down onto the table
>You fold your arms
>Now it was Night’s turn to look cocky and confident
>Shiny was sweating
>Night placed forty bits on the table
>>”I raise.”

--------

>Night was happily counting his money as he put it in the pouch
>You were putting the cards away in your carry-case
>Yes, the poker set was yours
>What else did you expect?
>Silver had his head on the desk, his horn in your ashtray, and his hooves over his head
>>>”Forty bits! What am I going to tell my wife?”
>Night hums
>>”Well, maybe I should get her something nice for you.”
>Silver growled
>>>”You flacid crown!”
>Night shrugged, tying a string around his bit-pouch and lashing it to his armour
>>”What can I say? Sorry I got lucky?”
>Lance, who had very intelligently folded before being sucked into a bet he couldn’t afford to lose, stood up and stretched
>”Silver, leave it out, yeah? No one said you had to rise to his bet.”
>You stand up, towering over the ponies at your full six-foot height
>They were barely three foot, with the princesses being about your eye-level
>Each of them were a bit put-out by your stature
>You had to be sure to move very slowly around ponies, or their prey-instincts would kick in
“Well, as fun as this was, I should probably begin my shift.”
>”Say hi to Luna for me”
>Gold Lance clicks his tongue
“Yeah, right. Like she wants to hear from you”
>”What?”
>He looks between the other stallions
>”Don’t think a dashing rogue like myself has a chance with the Princess?”
“Not even if she was in heat, and you were both stuck on the moon”
>You pick up your helmet
>When you joined the royal guard, you aced almost every physical test, and the guard didn’t exactly try to break their troops the way the army did
>But, because of your stature, and bipedal nature, you stuck out like a sore thumb in any unit
>Your physical prowess, sheer intimidation factor, and close-ties with the two Equestrian diarchs rendered you a shoe-in for the title of Honour Guard
>Of course, none of the pony Honour Guard armour would fit you
>So, a fresh set had to be forged
>Princess Celestia took the opportunity to ask you about human armour
>You told her that plate armour hadn’t been used by humans for centuries
>But you always had a soft spot for medieval shit
>Your fantasy as a kid was to be a knight
>So, you sketched a picture of the only suit of armour you could remember
>How fitting that it would be a suit of Stechzeug jousting armour
>Absent the cradle, the neck-guard, and some other shit
>It was mostly the helmet
>Motherfucker was heavy, hot, and you could barely see shit out of the slit that served as your visor
>But when you put it on, you felt powerful
>Like you could win a wrestling match with a manticore
>Believe me, you tried to do that once
>But, I digress
>You latch your armour shut around you, clanking as you stride down the hall
>Being the edgy fuck you were, you demanded it be black as night
>Celestia and Luna both said no, because it was too similar to the armour used by Nightmare Moon
>You gathered she was a sore point in Luna’s history
>She would only let you have dark armour if it was inlaid with some decals
>Hence why your obsidian black armour had golden patterns all over it
>Being the only Honour Guard in a thousand years meant that your Armour was now the most recognized in all Equestria
>Yes you popped a self-entitled stiffy whenever you thought of that
>You walk through the darkened corridors of Canterlot castle
>You were on night shift
>The moon streamed in through stained glass windows and cast muted kaleidoscopes of color onto the floor
>Grey and silver light, banished only by the occasional torch
>Honour guards had little to do in the day except sleep
>Guarding the Night Princess while she was awake was a task that fell to a regular squad
>While she slept, however?
>You planted your feet like a tree in front of her door and did not fucking move an inch
>Doubly true during the few times you had to guard her during the day
>There were a few such times
>Times where Luna retired to her room due to an illness, or to get away from the Nobles for a few minutes, or when she just needed some space
>You were woken up, which made you pissy as fuck, and unceremoniously pushed to her doors
>No movement
>Nothing in or out those doors
>You grew close to the Princess
>From what you gathered, she was lonely
>At first you thought you were overstepping your bounds when you heard her sobbing through the door that first time
>The Princess, however, accepted your companionship with open arms, confiding in you during the dead of night her secrets
>You enjoyed your job
>You were always early, just so you got to spend a few minutes every night talking with Luna before she went to sleep
>You finally made it to her door
>Your spear clanked against the ground
>Your sword shifted against your thigh
>You raised a fist to the door, gulped around your nervousness, and knocked a few times
>A silky smooth voice answers
>”Come in, Anon!”
>You remove your helmet, slinging it under one arm as you push the door open
>You look into the room
>It was remarkable plain
>A single chair, a bookcase, silver candles dotted around the room, a writing desk, and a four poster bed
>Over which lay sprawled a certain midnight blue lunar princess, staring down at a beauty magazine
>You can’t imagine why she would need it
“How’d you know it was me?”
>She smiles and looks up at you, motioning to the closing door
>”You’re the only one that knocks.”
>You hum in surprise
“Well, Gold Lance told me to say hello.”
>At the mention of that name, her face falls slightly
>”Honestly”
>She huffs
>”That colt runs his mouth so much I’m surprised somepony hasn’t stitched it shut!”
>She sighs, but stays silent
>You clear your throat
>Every movement you make is amplified by the silence, so it sounds like a whole herd of cavalry is clanking in place
“I’ll be outside. Starting my shift.”
>”Thank you, Anon.”
>You offer her a salute
“Ma’am!”
>You know she hates it when you do that
>”Oh, get out of here.”
>A fluffy purple pillow is launched at your face by a blue magical aura
>You narrowly make it out of her chambers before athe pillow of doom hits you
>Now, it was time for business
>Your smile is repalced by a stone-faced look
>Your spear, which you left leaning against the door (don’t tell your XO or he’ll rip your taint off and feed it to you) goes back into your hands
>You separate your feet, plant them firmly on the floor, and place the spear in front of you
>A cold wind blows through the corridor
>The torches behind you flicker
>As every night that has passed, and as every night to come, you will make sure nothing gets through these doors

---------
>You develop many things as a Royal Guard
>A sense of discipline
>Duty
>Patriotism
>Comraderie
>Thick calluses on your hands and feet
>And, if you’re lucky, genuine, long-lasting friedships
>You learn many things as a Royal Guard, too
>Many useful skills
>How to hold in a piss for seven hours
>How to resist locking your knees
>Not to not slouch
>Paranoia
>The CO is always watching
>ALWAYS WATCHING
>The palace floors are uncomfortable
>How to sleep standing up
>Normally such a thing is unthinkable
>Punishable by sumarry execution by your CO in whatever manner he or she saw fit
>Sh had Silver standing outside next to the trees, profusely apologizing to it, for the entire day
>Whenever someone asked him what the hell he was doing, he was to answer with;
>”I am apologising to the tree for stealing its oxygen, sir! As the words that come out of my mouth are too stupid to be worth the tree’s efforts!”
>Blue Night got it even worse
>As a young colt, barely eighteen, he was lacking in experience
>And common sense
>Meaning he often fucked up
>One such time HE fell asleep on guard duty
>One of the higher ups saw him, snuck up beside him, and pushed him over, thrusting a spear at the poor colt
>Blue Night almost shit himself, and tried to explain
>The CO had none of that
>He had fallen asleep at his post, and had the CO been an attacker, Night would be dead
>Taking the opportunity, the CO then dubbed him “The Ghostly Guard”
>He wasn’t allowed to speak for the rest of the week
>Because he was a ghost
>Sergeant Stellar Sabre was a hardass
>As the only human on the entire guard, she gave you the most shit, not because she didn’t like you
>On the contrary, you were drinking buddies
>By which you mean, you would challenge her and then quit after ten beers, while she looked no worse for wear
>No, she gave you the most shit, because you could handle it
>Which made the rest of the guards look bad
>Which made them want to beat the ‘monkey’
>Which made them excel at their duties
>Ponies were subtly racist
>Especially guard ponies
>Everything the Sergeant did was calculated, to the point where you wondered if your friendship was genuine or just another one of her power plays
>At the risk of experiencing her true wrath, you never fell asleep on patrol
>Until today
>At High Noon that very same day, the castle was put on high-alert lockdown when one of the new Changeling deligates disappeared
>Trust between ponies and changelings was a very touchy subject
>Turns out he went to find the bathroom, and was surprised to find two platoons of guards trying to hunt him down
>It would have escalated into an incident were it not for the timely intervention of the Princess
>You were woken up, in the middle of your sleep cycle, to guard Luna
>And considering you hadn’t slept since then, the quiet lull of the crickets and the wind outside softly serenaded you into a sense of calm serenity
>TL;DR: you fell the fuck asleep on the spot
>Your armour has the very nice perk of locking together if you bend your knees
>Allowing you to rest your chin on the bottom of your helmet, and rest your eyes for a moment
>Anyone looking in from the outside would see a stock-still Honour Guard, in the middle of a corridor, spear at the ready (your spear had hoof-locks on it, convenient for lashing to hooves and/or pony bodies for charges, and for resting your wrists on)
>A perfect picture of intimidation
>Until you snored
>The CO is always watching, so your snoring habits had been nipped in the bud by sheer willpower
>One of them gets out every week, at most
>How unlucky for you that this one came now
>Unseen eyes in the shadows watched you
>They now knew that you couldn’t see them, not because you were an idiot, but because you were asleep
>The torches behind you winked out
>As a Royal Guard you also learnt to wake up on a dime
>Your eyes snapped open at the sudden darkness, and the cold feeling on your back
>You try to reason with yourself
>The cold on your neck is just the absence of the torchlight, not a sense of dread
>The shadow you saw flitting from one pillar to another was a vestige of dreamworld
>As you came to your senses, you realised that two things were wrong
>Torches don’t just go out
>And shadows don’t move
>You let the spear clatter to the ground
>If the enemy was hiding, then this would be a close-quarters fight
>Plus, maybe the noise would summon some more guards your way
>You unsheathe your sword
>It glints in the moonlight streaming in from the window to your right
“Who’s there?”
>No answer
>And you just gave away that you know they’re there now
>Well, they were probably gonna try and slip past you before, and now they’ll try to attack you outright
>Nice job, fucko
>You twirl the sword around in your hand
“Show yourself!”
>You loved the night time
>It was so quiet
>Quiet enough to hear the whispering of the wind as something moved behind you
>Your eyesight got better, too
>Good enough to see the shadows cast by the moonlight, of a dagger raising up behind you
>You turn as it plunges downward, swinging your sword around to catch it
>The strength behind the smaller blade surprises you
>It stops your sword dead, and sends shockwaves through your arm
>Your grip falters, and the dagger slides down your sword with the sound of metal grating on metal
>There are only a few ponies that you know of that possess such strength
>Celestia, and--
>”I’m impressed, you sensed our presence even through our Shadewalking spell.”
>Luna.
>Your eyes focus on the figure in front of you
>A midnight blue coat, mane that flows on an invisible breeze, and a silver dagger lashed to one hoof
>She folds the blade away into itself in an act of magic that hurts your brain to look at
“Luna…”
>You take a moment to catch your breath
>Okay, breath caught
>Fear replaced by rage
>Adrenaline replaced with… well, adrenaline
“Why in gods name did you just try to kill me?!”
>She rears back at the outburst, seemingly confused as to why that would be a crime
>Fucking edge princess
>Is she so fucking sheltered
>So fucking out of touch with the world
>That she thinks it’s okay to pull a dagger on her honour guard?!
>She looks genuinely confused, too
>Before she bursts out laughing
>InfinityPercentMad.JPG
>”You’re dreaming, Anon.”
>All your rage comes to a screeching halt like a frieght train that just had a very unfortunate and intimate meeting with a brick wall
>Oh
>You look around
>The walls contort
>The sky is a kaliedoscope of colours
“Dreaming?”
>Your mind is waking up to the strangeness of the world around you
>Luna nods
>”You fell asleep outside our chambers.”
“Oh.”
>The realisation hits you
>Your CO didn’t find you asleep
>The PRINCESS found you asleep
>The Princess you’re meant to be guarding found you asleep
“Oh shit.”
>She smiles, one of her eyebrows arches
>”Indeed. How could I resist messing with you?”
>You stare at her with the world’s mightiest deadpan
“You’d better not draw a dick on my face.”
>She mirrors the look on your face
>”Anon.”
>She speaks as if she is addressing a child
>”If you are asleep, and I am here, then I…?”
>It clicks
“Must be asleep too.”
>She gasps, clapping her hooves together
>“Well done! You get a gold star!”
>Your inner autist screeches
”Any other reason you decided to rummage around my subconscious?”
>She looks around at the landscape
>”Curiosity.Are all human dreams so mundane?”
>You look down the infinite corridor
>You don’t know why, but gazing into the darkness gives you nausea
>You shrug
“No. I just didn’t realize I fell asleep”
>You clasp your hands together and refuse to meet her eyes
>She hums, deep in thought, before she notices your stance
>She places a hoof on your shoulder
>”There’s no need to be so ashamed, Anon. It happens to us all.”
>You laugh a hollow laugh
“I’m not ashamed, I’m terrified of what my punishment’s gonna be.”
>Tilting her head, the Princess bats her eyes like a confused child in maths class
>”Punishment? Anon, if anyone knows about being worked until exhaustion, it’s us.”
>She sits on her haunches, her eyes about level with your chest. She gazes into your eyes--where did your helmet go, again?
>”Where you not up at noon supervising me when the castle went into lockdown?”
>You nod
“Well, yes.”
>She places a hoof on your shoulder
>”And did you not valiantly remain awake from then until now?
>Once again, you offer the Princess a begrudging nod
“Yes.”
>She steps away from you with a gentle smile
>”Then you are forgiven.”
>Her hooves come together, and she traces one back and forth on the floor
>You would never tell her to her face for fear of being incinerated, at least not while on duty, but she was adorable
>“I truly appreciate everything you do for me. In fact, when you wake up, why don’t you rest inside my room?”
>You knit your brows together in confusion at the suggestion
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
>A smirk tugs at her lips
>Her eyes twinkle with mirth
>She trails a hoof down your armour
>”Are you going to do anything nefarious?”
>You step back from her in shock
“God no!”
>She nods
>”Are you not better suited to guard me if you are in the same room? What if a Pegasus assassin breaks through the window, or a powerful unicorn teleports into my chambers?”
>You hum, deep in thought
>You don’t know what kind of magical defences the princesses have on their room, if any, but if a unicorn or a Pegasus COULD break in via teleportation, or even through a window, then you wouldn’t hear about it until it was far too late
“That is true…”
>You’re still unsure
>The fact that you’re still in dreamland says that much
>The Princess sighs
>”Would it help if I gave you a direct order?”
>Holding a hand up to your chin, you scratch the stubble a few times
“It would certainly make me feel better.”
>She clears her throat, and tosses her hair back to get her mane out of her face
>”Very well. Sir Anonymous of Earth, Honour Guard to Princess Luna Lumen, I order you to rest in the comfy chair located in my chambers.”
>Comfy.png
>You offer an exaggerated bow
>She scowls at you
“As you command, your nibs.”
>”I think it’s time to wake up, before one of the higher ups finds you asleep.”
“How do I wake up?”
>She grins
>A predatory grin
>You’re not sure you like the grin
>The grin is bad
>She steps a bit closer, rears up onto her hind hooves, and wraps her hooves around your neck
>BAD TOUCH
>”Well, pushing you over would do the trick, but that would also knock you over in the real world. So,”
>She rears backwards, then slams her head forward
>Her horn slices through your hair
>And her forehead collides with yours
>White hot pain flashes behind your eyes
“Ow, what the fuck!”
>You stumble backwards, all thoughts of sleep banished from your mind
>You right yourself, stare around at your surroundings
>The sky was blue again
>The corridor wasn’t endless
>You were awake
>Rubbing your helmet, you groan
>You were gonna have a headache now
>Suddenly, the mories of your impromptu dream session with the Princess come back, full force
>Now, with the night princess, ponies never knew if she really visited them in their dreams, or if they were just dreaming of her
>It was fully possible that the dream you had was a simple subconscious manifestation of the night princess
>The twinge in your head, however, told you otherwise
>You stand there for a few more moments, going back to your post
>She did order you to rest in the comfy chair
>But was it really her?
>The door opens, and a face pokes itself out of the room
>”Anon.”
>You stand rigid
“Yes, Princess?”
>”I gave you an order, and I wake to find the chair unnocupied.”
>She steps to one side, throwing the door open
>You cringe
“Isn’t it a bit creepy to watch you sleep?”
>She rolls her eyes
>”I’m not telling you to watch me sleep, I’m saying that there are better ways to pass your time than by standing out here. I have books to read, for one thing. You could rest, you could even write an official summons to Twilight Sparkle with MY parchment”
>Oooh
>She wanted to make sure you weren’t bored
>Makes much more sense
>You mentally slap yourself before you approach the doorway
“Are you sure you’re not pranking me to get Sergeant Sabre on my case?”
>She innocently bats her eyelashes
>”Now Anon, would I ever do that to you?”
“Yes.”
>You don’t even miss a beat.
“Yes you would.”
>”Well I’m not, if that helps.”
“It doesn’t.”
>You step inside the room
>Much like earlier, the layout was the same, except everything was bathed in a soft blue
>Because there were no lights on
>She closes the door behind you
>Clearing her throat, she motions towards the bookshelf
>”Well, there are the books”
>She’s nervous
>How cute
>You smile at her and lean towards her
>She looks at you, and leans her head away
>Once you feel she is sufficiently uncomfortable, you grin
“First time you’ve brought a stallion back to your room, huh?”
>She scoffs and hits your shoulder
>Her hoof clangs off of the pauldron, but the force carries through just the same
>She walks over to her bed, pulls the covers back with her magic, and climbs inside
>”Good night, Anon.”
“Good night Princess. Sweet dreams.”
>”Let us hope.”
>She closes her eyes
>You stand in the middle of the room for a while, not wanting to annoy the princess by moving
>Her breathing turns deep, and soft snores can be heard from her bed
>Once you are certain she is asleep, you set your spear down by the wall, unclasp your sword, and take off your helmet
>They get placed beside the chair, and you set yourself down on it
>It would have been comfy, were it not for the fact that armour plates are not made for comfy chairs
>Guards have no need for comfy chairs
>You watch the sleeping form of Princess Luna rise and fall under the covers
>Bit creepy, not gonna lie
>Turning to the bookcase, you reach for some of the leatherbound books adorning the shelves
>Pulling a thick, hardback book off of the shelves, you brace yourself before opening it up
>What forbidden, centuries-old knowledge did the night princess hold?
>What terrible omens were printed upon the tome’s pages?
>What devilish, fiendish portents did the book foretell of?
>What dark magic did she hide?
>You peel back the cover
>Pictures of food adorn the front page
>It was a cookbook
>Truly terrifying!
>You put the book back, then pull out the next one beside it
>This one had a bit more weight to it
>You pull back the cover, then the front page, and stare down at the words
>...
>Hell, you can’t read these horse words
>Twilight taught you how to read horse words, yes
>But these ones were gibberish
>You might have been right about Luna possessing old texts
>But you can’t actually read them!
>Welp
>Looks like you have two choices;
>Head back outside and disobey Luna
>Or watch her sleep
>You really didn’t want to do either of them
>But you couldn’t just sit there all night
>Watching her sleep
>Like a creeper
>You decide to stand up, and walk over to her balcony
>You open the doors, step outsie, then close them behind you before the Princess gets woken up by the cold
>Looking every bit the picture of serenity, you stand there in your armour, looking up at the night sky
>You don’t know how shit works in this world, even though you’ve almost been here for a year now
>You don’t know if the stars up above are Luna’s creations, or if they really are balls of gas billions of miles away
>What you do know is that Luna controls the moon, and “paints the sky”, whatever the fuck that means
>Probably localised celestial phenomenon like meteor showers
>She does a wonderful job of it, whatever she does
>The moon is particularly bright and beautiful tonight
>This is why you have a slight affinity for the night time, more than the day
>It’s calm, serene, and stoic
>All the things that give you quality time to think
>Although if Celestia ever asked you if you liked the night time more than the day you would deny it
>You may like the moon, but you have no desire to see it up close, if you know what i’m sayin’
>Taking a deep breath of the chill air, you rest your arms on the balcony rail, and lean over with a subtle creak and groan of your armour
>For the first time in a long time
>With your super edgy armour, especially
>You feel like you belong
>Daybreak soon lights up the sky
>You remained at your post all night
>The sun rises over one horizon, Celestia has done excellent work with the sunrise today
>As the stars begin winking out, replaced by the light of the sun, you hear Luna stir in the room behind you
>Turning around, you walk back into her bedroom
>Luna fluffs out her wings, giving them a flap, while stretching out her back and holding her hooves above her head
>Resisting the urge to smile at the sight, and so as to not appear like a mouth-breather who watches pretty mares stretch, you walk over to where your sword and helmet are
>Lashing them to your waist, you grip one hand over your spear, and turn back to face the Princess
“Good morning, Princess”
>She holds up a hoof
>She rubs sleep from her eyes and barely manages to hold back a yawn
>”Shh”
>Clearly she isn’t a morning mare
>Standing up, she trots over to the balcony, lighting her horn as she went
>A thrum of magical energy vibrates your bones
>A tendril of teal magic lifts into the sky, and she moves the moon down towards the other side of the planet
>That’s what you never understood
>The planet is definitely wound
>The Princesses control the orbits of the sun and the moon
>But Nightmare Moon once attempted to shroud the entire world in perpetual darkness
>... somehow
>The exact events as they played out were a mystery to you
>And asking the only two living witnesses to the event seems like poor manners
>Luna finishes setting the moon, and walks back into her bedroom with a smile
>Seems like doing that is her equivalent to coffee
>Speaking of which, you would kill for a cup right now
>You were tired enough that you were seriously considering collapsing on Luna’s comfy chair, or her bed, and spending the day
>As it happens, you had a lovely bunk back in the barracks
>Joy!
>You clear your throat
“That’s the end of my shift, Princess.”
>”Thank you for keeping me company, Anon”
“Is that what I was doing? Felt like I was just watching you sleep for half the night”
>She paws at the floor
>”I could sense your presence. It felt nice to have another so close to me”
>You’re not sure if you’re creeped out, flattered, or flushed
>All of them, probably
“Well, I’ll see you tonight, Princess.”
>You bow your head in respect
>She nods back
>”Of course. Rest well, Sir Anonymous”
>Turning around, you don’t bother with a salute, or anything more formal than what you’ve already done
>You open her doors, and surprise the hell out of the two day-guards stationed outside
>You give THEM a salute instead
“Boys.”
>You walk past them, heading towards the barracks
>You were a little bit hungry, but exhaustion won, making you trudge towards your bunk instead of the mess
>As soon as you get into your bunk room, you shed your armour
>You let the pieces clank onto the floor without ceremony
>Sergeant Sabre might be making her rounds, but, frankly, you were way too tired to care
>With the final gauntlet and shin-guards shed, you spread your arms, and face-plant onto the bed, wearing your undersuit still
>As soon as you stop bouncing, you bury your face into the pillow
>You were out like a light
>Tea
>You were drinking tea
>Tea with Luna, to be precise
>You don’t know why
>You felt a little uncomfortable
>You were unsure just to the nature of your relationship with the mare
>You were her Honour Guard
>The first Lunar Honour Guard in a thousand years
>The ONLY Lunar Honour Guard
>Plus, you were an entirely different species
>You weren’t native to the planet
>You were basically her glorified bodyguard
>Your relationship was professional
>And that’s all there is to it
>Until she entered your dreams, and commanded you to watch over her from inside her room
>That threw you for a loop
>Maybe she considered you both friends
>If she did, then you would feel guilty
>If she didn’t, then you would feel embarassed
>At the moment you just felt stupid, holding a pretty pink teacup in one hand, filled with brown tea
>Shit was bomb-ass though
.Hey, if you were gonna do this, you were gonna go all out
>You stuck out your pinky finger
>The night princess smiled at you
>She looked different
>Her mane was flat and a solid blue colour
>Her coat shone as though it had been freshly brushed and washed
>She levitated the cup in her magical aura, taking dainty little sips
>She said nothing
>Only staring at you
>That made you shift in your suit
>Wait, suit?
>What the fuck?
>You were wearing a black three piece, with a sharply pressed red tie
>So, you weren’t on shift right now
>This was a casual tea party
>With a Princess
>That you worked for
>You never even dreamed of being friends with Luna
>Not because you didn’t like her or anything
>Just because she was so… far away
>And timid around ponies or people that she didn’t know
>You saw her in court once
>She didn’t look like she wanted to be there at all
>And the Nobles certainly didn’t want her there
>No, as far as you were concerned, she was unapproachable
>Not quite aloof, but as distant and cold as the moon she kept charge over
>Seeing her here like this, a gentle smile and without her regalia
>It was enough to snap your mind back like a rubber band
>The teacup in your hand wasn’t a teacup anymore, it was a sword
>She wasn’t smiling anymore, and she was wearing her armour
>You were both still in her room, but it was night time
>You had to protect her
>The castle…
>There was no castle
>Only rolling fields
>Standing on the edge of a crater-pocked battlefield
>You were staring down an army!
>You turn to face Luna once more
>Would you die for the mare?
>You were hesitant
>You were only a guard, not a soldier, not an elite fighter
>Luna unsheathed a sword, holding it aloft with her magic
>Without any conscious command, you ran straight for the enemy
>You were leading the charge
>Luna was right there beside you, horn down, charging a spell even below her simple telekinesis
>As suddenly as everything appeared, it all vanished
>You were in an endless hallway
>Darkness swallowed you whole on either side
>The only light came from marble arches to one side
>You were wearing your armour, and holding a spear
>Open windows, and endless corridors?
>Seems familiar
>A flood of memory returns to you
>You had been here before
>You were dreaming again
>But, why this dream?
>Confused, you pick a direction, and start walking
>Be Luna
>Be hiding in the shadows, a little ways behind Anonymous
>Darkness was your ally
>You felt his dreams calling out to you
>Fear, turmoil, all the marks of a nightmare
>Or at least some internal confusion
>As the only one of his kind, you felt a duty to keep him safe
>Even though, as your personal Honour Guard, his job was to give his life to ensure your safety, should the need arise
>You thought that was backwards
>You were just a Princess
>If you died, despite the fact that you couldn’t TRULY die, others would take your duties over while you reconstituted
>Your sister would be more than willing
>Twilight Sparkle could possibly be swayed into trying
>But if he died, so much more would be lost
>He was the only one of his kind
>The knowledge, the history, the customs of an entire civilisation would die with him
>Your duty to him was no less than his to you
>He just didn’t know it
>Your invitation into his room was no less for your safety than it was for his
>He could protect you far better if he was in the room, yes
>But you could also protect him
>That sense, that obligation, is what called you to his dreams
>But when you got here, you found no fear, no turmoil, nothing threatening in any way
>Just a hallway
>The same hallway as the one that he dreamt of yesterday
>Remarkably similar to the corridor outside your quarters
>The only thing you could sense was confusion
>He didn’t know you were here yet
>But you had to be careful
>He sensed you last night, even with your command of dream magic
>You must be certain to keep your presence in his subconscious the utmost secret
>If he found out you were keeping an eye on his mental health and his physical, he may not want to continue guarding you
>And if he did that, how were you going to protect him?
>In a way you saw much of yourself in him
>An outcast, ripped from everything he knew, struggling to make sense of the world around him
>You felt your soul reach out for a kindred spirit
>But you could never bring yourself to close that distance
>Everytime you felt yourself care for something, it gets ripped away
>By the nobles meddling in politics, by the inexorable march of time, even by your own damnable self-sabotage
>An iron prison encases your heart, one thousand years in the making
>The only thing you can do is what you’ve always done
>Watch from afar
>Offer help in whatever form you can
>Ponies don’t tend to remember their dreams
>Those that do are rare
>You don’t do it for the thanks
>You do it, because what else can you do?
>You don’t have the clout of your sister
>You don’t even have the raw power
>But in the realm of dreams you are everything
>You have the power to banish nightmares, and offer advice
>You can help every bit as much as your sister can
>Or so you keep telling yourself
>Anon continues walking down the endless black abyss
>You realise that as you were lost in your thoughts, you stepped a bit too close to him
>He halts in place
>You do the same
>If he was a pony, you could match his hoofsteps
>But he’s a biped
>No doubt he heard your hooffalls
>You light your horn and cast a spell
>Light itself bends around you, obscuring your form, leaving naught but a ripple
>Just in time for the Human to turn around
>His visor is indiscernable
>You don’t kow if he sees you, or even senses you like last night
>You would assume that his instincts tell him something is here
>Holding your breath, you will him to look away
>He does not
>He steps closer
>You will a distraction into existence on the opposite side of the corridor
>Nothing happens
>You try again
>Anon steps closer
>You try AGAIN!
>It’s not working!
>Your dream magic has no effect
>But if that’s true, then…
>”Luna?”
>He can see through your spell!
>You gasp
>Anon’s dream-world collapses around him
>The stone foundations crumble
>You are forced out
>Collapsing on the floor, you catch your breath
>You have never felt such resistance before!
>You weren’t even able to use your dream magic
>Something was blocking it
>Which wasn’t possible
>Nothing can block your magic in your own realm!
>A surge of anger fills your chest,
>How dare you be denied entrance to your own realm!
>When you find whatever was responsible for bringing anon to that half-conscious hell...
>Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself
>The anger is replaced by a calm, soothing balm of logic
>The only thing that can negate your dream magic is stronger dream magic, or psychic shielding
>Even then, you have never had your magic entirely suppressed before now
>Anon very clearly stated that he was a creature that possessed neither of those things
>The only other option was outside interference
>Well, that settled it
>If something was going to hex Anon’s mind, and give him nightmares, you were just going to have to keep a better eye on him
>Nothing will harm him
>If they try, then they’ll have to answer to you!

>You are Anon again
>You awoke at sunset
>Nothing made sense as you sat up
>Rubbing your head, you focus on your dreams
>After the tea party, you were stuck in that same endless hallway again
>And Luna was there, too
>Your subconscious had never been the most direct thing before
>But holy crap this was some new-age circlejerk shit you had going on
>You apparently wanted to get close to Luna
>But also keep her away from you, if the endless hallway was anything to go by
>Of course, it might just be that you were freaked out because of events last night
>The falling asleep mid-shift, Luna trying to kill you in your dream, inviting you to stay in her room
>Then the dreams
>It all threw you for a loop, that’s for damn sure
>You’ve been guarding Luna every night for the past eight months
>And you were in Equestria for almost a month before you decided to stop mooching off of Twilight and before you decided that collecting cheek-swabs at night wasn’t normal in ANY dimension
>You still remember the day you came to this world...
>Usually movies show rain, or clouds, or fog when something life-shattering happens
>But no, today it was bright fucking sunshine outside, wasn’t it
>You curse the sun, taking another swig of Absolut Vodka
>Right out of the neck of the bottle, like the savage you were
>You didn’t want to move
>You didn’t want to think
>What you wanted to do was pickle your brain in so much alcohol that it became preserved for generations to come
>Eternal life; you sought it through alcohol
>That, or a quick death via alcohol poisoning
>Immortality or death
>Whichever came first
>You weren’t all that fussy at the moment
>Life was never fair
>Doubly so that day
>Your family
>Your friends
>Everything was gone
>And yet, the sun was out
>Birds were singing
>People laughed as they walked by your porch
>They stopped when they saw you out on it
>”Just walk away, honey” said a mum to her child
>”Ignore the strange man”
“Hey fuck you too, lady!”
>You tossed the bottle
>It shatters on your porch steps
>Add that to the ‘to-do’ list
>Fuck the light
>You wanted rain
>You wanted stormclouds
>You wanted the world to reflect how you felt inside
>But, most of all, you wanted an escape
>Even the dreariness of a rainy day would do it for you
>But no
>Life had to continue on as normal
>Fuck life
>Fuck the people enjoying their day
>Why should they get to be happy when you were drinking yourself into an early grave
>You stood up, walking down the steps, fully intent on finding the nearest happy person and doing everything in your power to shit on their day
>Perhaps literally
>You did NOT stumble halfway down
>You certainly didn’t break your neck
>No one can prove that you did
>Except for the EMTs that pronounced you dead at the scene
>Yes, you died
>By falling off of your own damn porch
>Congratulations, idiot
>What did happen, was you woke up in a technicolour land full of horses
>Who didn’t like to be called horses
>Apparently calling a pony a horse is like calling a woman back home a slut
>You found that out the hard way
>When you appeared in the middle of a marble table, in the middle of some sort of meeting, no less, you had exclaimed several things
>”Holy fuck a winged horned horse!” was among the first
>A golden mare named Applejack tackled you to the ground
>She didn’t quite have the strength to pin you down fully
>But she had the anger
>A rainbow coloured, talking Fischer Price toy helped her
>You had just called one of their dearest friends a mare of ill repute
>Once they subdued you, roped you up like a turkey, and left you to baste under seven angry glares in the middle of the table, only THEN did they ask questions
>You told them everything
>They thought you were lying
>Twilight Sparkle--the mare you had just called a whore--thought you were some kind of malnourished, sickly minotaur
>Then she performed a scan
>It was a “detect life” spell, you learned later
>A spell that would tell her what manner of creature you were
>She got no readings
>Literally nothing
>You weren’t native to equestria
>Which meant you were telling the truth
>The rest of the day was a blur
>The Pink One demanded you let her throw a party
>Rarity wanted to make you clothes
>Spike thought it was cool to have another creature with hands around
>(by the way, he’s pretty chill. You taught him card tricks until Twilight banned you from doing so)
>And of course, Twilight wanted to run every single test imaginable
>DNA sequencing
>Psychoanalysis
>Physical exam
>Bloodwork
>Everything
>You firmly said NO
>Despite looking sad, she respected your choice to not let her invade your body
>Then She called the other three Princesses about an alien
>If you ever need a reminder of the Princesses raw power, you need only remember the mental image of all three of them storming through crystal walls--
>Yes, the WALLS
>--in full battle regalia
>Luna used a sabre and a dagger in combat
>Celestia favoured a Halberd
>Cadence… well, she didn’t have any weapons
>Which you found scarier than the sabre in Luna’s magic that literally cut the light around it
>Edgy blade
>Once they found out you were harmless, they wanted to know everything to
>Luna’s eyes sparkled when you told her about space exploration
>Celestia was positively transfixed by the notion that celestial bodies moved without magic
>And Cadence was appalled that you broke your neck trying to drink yourself to death
>C’est la vie, right?
>Princess Celestia visited you often over the next few weeks
>Twilight was as overbearing as she was inquisitive
>There’s only so many ways you can hear “your knowledge would revolutionise Equestrian technology overnight!” before it gets old
>You can only dodge her for so long, she is always hunting you
>The final straw came when you woke up to her sticking q-tips into every orifice
>EVERY
>ORIFICE
>Fuzzy cotton wool does NOT go in there Twilight!
>You pack up your two sets of clothes and moved out, hopping the next train to Canterlot
>When you were there you made it to the castle
>The Guards wouldn’t let you in at all
>The only ones that got into the castle proper were nobles, and guards
“Yep! That’s me! Here to join the Guard!”
>Your life, as you knew it, ended there
>And now here you are
>Sitting up in bed, with a headache like the hangover you had your first morning here
>Trying to make sense of the world once more
>The sun dipped low, kissing the horizon and tinting the clouds a variety of golds and reds
>Sighing, you stand up
>Time for work

>You post outside Luna’s door
>Usually you go inside and tell Luna you’ve arrived
>But after your dream, you kinda want to be alone with your thoughts
>Which turn towards the mare in question, on the other side of the dark doors
>Your exact relationship with the mare is a mystery
>You were always friendly
>You just didn’t feel like you were friends
>It was strange
>The onyl disagreements you ever had were back when you started
>Your armour was still being forged, so you had to post without it
>Luna almost vapourised you on the spot for not being correctly dressed
>After trying and failing to tell her your armour was being forged, she almost fired you
>Thanks to the timely intervention of Sergeant Sabre, she explained that, indeed, your bipedal armour was still being forged
>Luna apologised over and over for three whole days
>She still didn’t think she apologised enough
>Still, you were both distant enough that shows of affection greatly took you by surprise
>Like last night
>And possibly while you were asleep
>Ponies, princesses included, that had a habit of appearing in dreams were tricky
>You would have to find a way to ask Luna about it tonight, if she deigned to speak with you
>A tea party was one thing
>Being stalked through an endless hallway was another entirely
>The conflicting messages swirled around in your stomach like a maelstrom
>It never did you good to dwell on dreams
>No, you would have to confront them sooner or later
>And where better place to start than by asking Luna if she was in them last night
>Now you just had to find a way to segue into that topic without spilling spaghetti all over the floor
>As it happens, the Princess within chose that moment to fling open her doors
>The heavy wooden door impacted your side, and almost flung you into the stone wall
>Luna took a look to the right, then to the left, her face lighting up when she saw you
>”Sir Anon!”
>You stumble to right yourself, leaning on your spear like a cane
“Princess!”
>She steps out into the hallway proper
>”What are you doing out here?”
>You look around, then arch an eyebrow beneath your helmet as though she had just asked you how to achieve escape velocity with a twig and stones
“Guarding your chambers, ma’am.”
>Waving a hoof in a dismissive fashion, she lets out a sigh
>”You may dispense with formalities, Anon”
>Scoffing, you bring up a hand to take off your helmet, slinging it under your arm and performing the most grandiose bow you possibly could
“As you wish, Princess”
>She is less than amused
>”Do you enjoy tormenting me?”
>You flash her your winning, toothy smile
>You cock your head, dashingly wink, and click your tongue, too
>Every bit as roguelike as a Bioware facial animation
“Little bit.”
>She shakes her head, leaning up against the door
>It stays in place, but it’s a bloody heavy door! It shunted you a good few feet away from where you were standing when it hit you
>You can’t help but shudder at the strength Luna just showed you
>”Please, come inside. Rest a while. You are always welcome in my chambers”
>She flicks her head into the room
>Candlelight flickers around the room
.For the first time you can see the colour scheme of her room, unmuted by the night’s darkness
>... It’s still blue
“Are you sure? Once was pushing it, I hear Sergeant Sabre is stepping up her inspection rounds, and if she finds me anywhere except at my post--
>Your protests are cut short by a scathing glare
>You wonder how many of her enemies have seen the same look before they died
>”The Sergeant would not dare question my orders. If I say you are to be posted in my chambers from now on, she would not hesitate to obey”
>You hum in agreement
>Then shudder
>The thought of the thestral mare finding out that the Princess herself wants you permanently stationed in her quarters
>She’s the loudest mouth in the guard
>She’s the one that let slip that Corporal Locklean has a stash of magazines under his bunk
>It was vandalised, stolen, and he was reprimanded by the higher-ups within the hour
>Sergeant Sabre is the one that ‘accidentally’ told everyone in Mess one day about why you always wear clothes
>Because you have no fur, and are always buck-ass naked
>That in and of itself wasn’t a problem
>But when you woke up the next morning to find your entire wardrobe missing, including your armour
>THAT was a problem
>God only knew what she would do, or how many ponies would find out within the hour
“No, she wouldn’t. But she would chew my ear off about the implications”
.Luna tilts her head, blinking her big eyes
>”The implications?”
>You click your teeth together a few times
>You scratch the back of your head
“Well you being a… and me a… you know, chins will wag”
>The head tilt goes a little further
>”I am unfamiliar with what you mean”
>Finally, you deadpan
>She cannot be this naive,can she?
>If she is,that’s equal parts adorable and sad
>But then you see the tug at the corner of her lips
>Cheeky little
“You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you?”
>She mirrors your roguish look from before
>She pulls it off much better than you
>By which you mean she at least doesn’t look like she’s having a stroke
>”Little bit”
>Shaking your head from side to side, you lean forward, using your spear for support
“You are some sort of…”
>She cuts you off
>”Be nice,or I’ll station you in the crystal caves beneath Canterlot”
>You rise to the bait
>You always rise to banter bait
>You need to keep that human wit of yours, after all
“You wouldn’t abandon your loyalest, and handsomest guard, would you?”
>You run your hands through your hair for emphasis, striking an heroic pose
>”No I wouldn't”
>You smile
>She smiles back
>”YOU on the other hoof, in a heartbeat”
>The riposte was clean
>You cannot survive firepower of that magnitude
>Instead, you play the victim, and adopt a face not all dissimilar from a kicked puppy
“You know, that hurts more than any blade or poison ever could”
>She scoffs
>”Oh, I forgot, my Honour Guard has such thin skin because he is naught but a maidenmare with scuffed hooves!”
>Mayday! Mayday! We’re going down, Captain! She is unfazed by your bullshit
>You fold your arms, and turn away from her
>You still had one trump card left
“If you don’t say sorry I won’t tell you the story of the moon landings anymore”
>She falters for a split second
>Stories about your world had been her one weakness from the very beginning
>Stories about humans exploring space? Doubly so
>Still, she doesn’t break
>She is a worthy adversary indeed
>”Oh, I’m sorry, did I offend you, oh mighty Human?”
>You sniff in a derisive fashion
“Yes.”
>”I do apologise. Maybe you need some time to rest and get over my cutting remarks. I hereby give you the night off”
>That catches you off guard
“Wait what?”
>You turn back to look at her
>She’s still smiling
>”You heard me. I, Princess Luna of Equestria, hereby give you the night off.”
>You look down at your armour, then back up at her
“What am I meant to do for the rest of the night?”
>She brings a hoof to her chin in thought
>”Well, either go back to the barracks, or come in”
>She turns with her flank to the door, motioning inside
>”I’ll be staying up late anyway, lot’s of paperwork. My sister wants me to cosign treasury bills and legislation”
>Actual work to run a country
>You gag
“Sounds boring”
>She nods in agreement
>”Oh, most assuredly. To be honest I would be glad of the company”
>Shrugging, you unlatch your sword and drape the belt over your arm
“Alright, you’ve convinced me”
>You walk past her, and into the room
>Internally, Luna jumps in victory
>She has successfully gotten you into her room, where she can keep watch over you all night
>Perhaps she would even grow closer to you through the experience
>Having you as a close friend rather than occasional acquaintance sounded most enjoyable
>Especially if she could take part in more of those verbal fencing matches
>You walk into her room
>She allows the door to swing shut with a loud thud
>Turning around to face her, you watch her lock the door with a flash of magic
“Shouldn’t you summon some more guards to take my place?”
>She looks at you and furrows her brow
>”For what purpose? You’ll be right here with me”
>You hum in agreement
“Well, yeah, but I’ll be off duty”
>She places a hoof on her chest, swooning like a distressed damsel
>”Are you telling me that you only defend me because it’s part of your job?”
>You weren’t having any of that
>This was a serious matter, and you took her safety as seriously as you took your own
“Actually it’s the opposite, my job description is to ensure the Princess is protected, right now, as I’m off duty, you are technically unprotected”
>Her eyes seem wide with genuine shock
>Her smile is just as genuine and bright
>She steps closer, into your personal space, and offers you a hoof
>You take it
>Close physical contact with ponies was a sign of trust
>You learnt that quickly in Ponyville
>The pink one enjoyed surprise hugs
>Luna’s touch is gentle, but firm too
>She’s doing this merely to assuage your fears, and put your mind at ease
>It’s working
>”Your concern is charming, but unfounded, I assure you. I have all faith in your ability to adequately respond to any potential threat”
>She lets your hands go
“Fine, I’ll defer to the wisdom of the great Night princess”
>She nods
>”Most wise”
.You deposit your spear against the door
>Your sword rests beneath it, alongside your helmet
>You unlatch your gauntlets, your pauldrons, and your Cuisses, setting them down individually
>Soon, you are wearing nothing but your chest armour, your vambraces, and your undersuit of chain mail
>You sit upon the comfy chair
>It does a much better job of supporting you without your heavy-as-fuck armour
>It’s comfier, too
>Luna trots around her desk
>When did she get a desk?
>Was there a desk in here before?
>Are you just going crazy?
.The Princess sits down, levitating a stack of papers from out of the draw, and a quill and ink pot from the other
>”Would you care for some tea? A book, perhaps?”
>She motions to the bookcase beside you
>You stare at it dubiously
“I can’t read them”
>Her quill falters in the air, splashing into the ink pot
>She stares at you in what seems to be a mixture of shock and horror
>”Can you not read out language?”
>You shake your head
“Oh no, I can read just fine, but these are different”
>”Ah.”
>She picks up the quill, dragging the nub over the edge of the inkwell, and writing something down
>The scratch of the quill is the only sound for a few seconds
>”Sometimes I forget that language has changed much in a thousand years”
>You watch her
>You twitch
>You want to ask more about her past
>Knowing nothing about the mare other than the fact that she has a dark past is irksome to you
>You blurt out the words before you even realise it
“What was it like?”
>Her quill scratches, snapping in two
>She closes her eyes
>You quickly backpedal
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have--”
>”It’s alright.”
>She sets the useless writing utensil down
>“You know nothing of my past, so it’s only natural you should be curious. Are you asking me what my banishment was like, or what it was like being evil?”
>Good and Evil were two distinct factions in this world
>Ponies are either happy go lucky friendly folk, or complete dickweeds
>There doesn’t seem to be much in between
“Well, both. Were you still you? Or were you like a spectator, watching your body act?”
>You didn’t realise you were leaning forward until you nearly fall out of the chair
>Check your pockets for spaghetti, boy
>Luna braces her hooves on the top of the desk
>She looks between them, she looks at the varnished wood, and she looks anywhere except for at you
.As though perhaps she could avoid answering
>Obviously it’s difficult for her to talk about
>”It was… it was.”
>She offers nothing more than that cryptic answer
>”That’s it. I cannot accurately describe it, it just happened. I was watching it happen from afar, but at the same time I knew I was making all the decisions. The decision to doom Equestria, the decision to attack my sister, I can only imagine the pain I caused her.”
>She goes silent
>The candles seem just a little bit dimmer now
“Well, you’re back now”
>It was a weak statement, but true nonetheless
“Your sister must have forgiven you by now, she’s always been a nice mare”
>She smiles
>”Yes, but ponies still treat me like glass. Like I’ll break at any moment”
>The mood has very noticeably soured
>Far from the banter of before
>Taking the moment to inject some praise for the mare, you offer her a smile
“Well, I try not to. I happen to think you’re one of the strongest ponies I’ve ever met”
>She returns the smile with a nod as well
>”And I am grateful. You are the one guard who was not hesitant around me, but I can’t help but think it’s just because you never saw me… like that”
>You shake your head and stand up, walking around the desk and kneeling beside her
>You don’t know her well enough to rub her back or anything
>And, really, you don’t want to be the mouth-breathing touchy-feely friend
“Luna. Anything that I think of you now is due to who you ARE, not who you once WERE”
>You close your eyes
>Your memory flashes back to your life on Earth
“We’ve all done things we regret, and we’ve paid for it dearly”
>She looks deep into your eyes
>A spark of understanding seems to pass between you
>You may not have been evil, you may not have tried to enslave your world, but she remembered you telling her what happened to your family
>You paid the consequences for that, with interest
>”The banishment was…”
>You hush her
“You don’t have to speak about it, if you don’t want to”
>”No.”
.She sets her jaw
>“No. I do. It will be… good for me.”
>She pauses, gathering her strength
.After a while you think maybe she wasn’t ready
.And maybe you had gotten a bit too close
>The urge to lay a hand on her shoulder, to show her she wasn’t alone, was almost overwhelming
>”What do you know of the moon?”
>You shrug
“In my world it had no atmosphere, no air, barely any gravity”
>She smiles and nods, satisfied with your answer
>”The same is true here, but for one thing. I keep it tethered to this world by powerful magic”
>Her horn alights, a tendril of blue flies into the air, and forms into a caricature of the moon
>“But I also light it, maintain it, and direct it.”
>A little pony appears next to the sphere
>”Over the centuries, it has become as much a part of me as I have become of it. We attract each other, as strongly as gravity. Stronger, even.”
>The pony figure and the moon are joined together by another strand
>The display is beautiful, in its own way, if a bit simplistic. But, you’re more focused on her words than anything else
>”The pull is so intense sometimes it pains me. When I was banished within it, I couldn’t breathe, but I also couldn’t move.”
>The pony vanishes, replaced instead with a mare on a pockmarked, rocky surface, laying on her side, taking gasping breaths of the nothingness
>”We were so close together, that the parts of us that were connected locked in place, like magnets”
>You cringe
“That sounds horrible.”
>You can’t even imagine what that must have been like
>”I was entirely alone, for one thousand years, with nothing but a Nightmare to keep me company, whispering dark thoughts directly into my mind.”
>A small ember of anger works its way up within you
>A question spills from your lips
“Why did Celestia banish you for so long?”
>She anticipated it, cutting off the magical image
>”Do not blame my sister. She didn’t know. The magnetic force that pulled us together slowed my escape to a near-crawl.”
>You shake your head slowly, deliberately
“Still… I can’t even imagine”
>She looks at you once again
>The corners of her eyes are glistening, but there is a somber smile on her face
>”I think you can. I can see it in your eyes. At the time I thought I would never get to return. I thought I would never see my home again. Sound familiar?”
.You gulp around a lump in your throat
“... A little bit.”
>She lays a hand on your shoulder
>We’re doing this now, huh?
>You didn’t think you’d be the one to be comforted when she spoke about her past
>”You say I’m strong, but I got to come home. I got to see my family again. You never will”
>The feels
>You are a royal guard, goddamn it!
>You bit down on your tongue to have something to distract you from her kind aura, and her gentle smile
>“You took it upon yourself to make something of your new life. You threw yourself into the Royal Guard with abandon, almost. Every night I go into the dreams of other ponies to ensure that what happened to me never happens to them.”
>Time to flip the conversation
>As long as you were both baring your soul, it wouldn’t hurt to get everything out into the open
“Is that why you were in my dream?”
>She freezes
>Her hoof digs into your shoulder a little bit
>”...Yes.”
>She looks down in shame
>Your eyebrows arc
>You didn’t expect her to so readily admit it
“I appreciate the gesture, but please, at least ask permission next time”
>”Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you felt anything strange over the past few days?”
>Your face morphs into a sort of “are you fucking kidding me?” look
“Strange? I’m in a land full of talking hors--ponies.”
>One whole year and you still haven’t quite made the change in your lexicon that horses mean whores
>“Ponies. Every day seems surreal to me. I keep expecting to wake up in a hospital bed, considering how I came here.”
>She looks a little blindsided by that admission
>”You think this is all a dream?”
>You shrug
“A dream, a coma, my last seven minutes of brain activity?”
>She thinks for a second
>”If it helps, I can perform a magical scan on you, to see if you are indeed dying”
“But if you’re a dream, then it’d come back negative.”
>She nods
>”Yes. And if I’m not, then it would be the same, so really, there’s no point in worrying about it, is there?”
>you go to answer her
>But find that there is no counter argument
>You click your mouth shut for a second
>Leave it to Luna to be a fountain of wisdom, even for a fear that was only half serious
“I suppose not. But, to answer your question, no. Why do you ask?”
>Her smile wanes
>”Well, when I entered your dream, it was because you were feeling confusion, turmoil. Your dreams called out to me, and I answered. When I entered, however, it was nothing but an endless hallway”
>You remember
>You even remember the dream changing on you, and how jarring it felt
“Why is that significant? Couldn’t have I just had a stomachache or something?”
>Shaking her head, she continues speaking
>”Dreams do not change unless they reach a conclusion, or if there is some outside force actively changing them. I believe you may have been hexed, bewitched by some dark magic”
>Your face drains of colour
“Oh.”
>You shift in place
“That’s much worse than an upset stomach”
>”Much”
>A pregnant silence falls between you
>You look up at her
“What can we do?”
>She shrugs
>Helpful, Luna. Very helpful
>”I would have to enter your dream and flush out the dark magic. Fight it inside your mind, but I cannot do so unless I can use my own magic”
>You follow along to the best of your ability
>She needs magic, but something is stopping her from using it, and it’s the same thing she has to fight with her magic etc etc
>It was a start of a plan at least
>Kinda
>Not really
>Barely an idea
“So, how can I help?”
>Shaking her head, she offers you a rueful kind of stare
>”I’m sorry, Anon, but as you are a non-magical creature, I’m not sure you can”
>You think about it some more
>Dreams are simply the subconscious mind taking the reigns for a few hours, right?
>Not even close, but for the sake of argument
>Knowing that you were dreaming has always lead to some interesting dreams
>Consciously changing the dream to something else has always been fun, the few times you actually managed to do it
>If you were in control of your dreams, perhaps she could do something
>Hey, perhaps you could even help
“What if I go to sleep knowing that I’m about to share a dream? Wouldn’t it help open my mind a little?”
>She cocks her head, looking away and muttering something under her breath
>”That… isn’t actually a bad idea.”
“It’s worth trying at least, right?”
>”Very well. We shall attempt it immediately”
>You stop in place
“What, right now?”
>She holds up her hooves
>”Do you want to be hexed for longer?”
>You think about it for a second, before shaking your head
“Not particularly”
>She nods, satisfied with the answer
>”Then we shall try right now.”
>With a hesitant gulp at the prospect of Luna seeing your subconscious unbidden, you prepare to sleep with Luna
>...
>Don’t make it weird, dude!