Script: Of Elves and Barmaids

Of Elves and Barmaids
by Smutomancer
(f/f, barmaid, elf, humor, script)
A barmaid is seduced by an elf, only to be surprised that he isn't a he at all.
BM: Barmaid
E: Elf

The fantastic voiced version with Stellar Nightingale as the Barmaid and Blush as the Elf, with mixing and SFX by VK: http://chirb.it/aANq0z


BM: Here's your wine, sweety. Best in the house, just like you ordered. I have to say, it's been awhile since anyone's ordered something other than ale.

E: I think you will find I have quite refined tastes.

BM: [giggle] Oh, I'm sure you fair folk are used to much better.

E: Perhaps, but human vintages have quite a delightful charm to them, I have found. [takes a drink] Mmmm, quite good, actually.

BM: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you need anything else, just give me a-

E: Stay, stay, have a drink yourself.

BM: Oh, I couldn't, really.

E: Come now, there is hardly anyone here at this hour. Besides, I have always enjoyed the company of fine ladies such as you.

BR: [giggle] Do all elves have such golden tongues?

E: Perhaps, but you may find I can put mine to better use than honeyed words.

BR: Oh?

E: Quite. As I have said, I am used to fine... vintages. It only makes sense for mine tongue to have improved as well.

BR: And where might I learn to improve my tongue?

E: First, you have a glass on me. Then, you join me in my room.

BR: Well, we are rather slow tonight...

[a short time later, in the room]

BR: I- I think that wine has gone to my head, a bit. I feel giddy.

E: Oh, I could sworn that was me.

BR: [giggle] No, no. You make me feel a different kind of giddy. My my my, when did it get so warm in here?

E: Perhaps I should help you out of that dress. Here, have a seat on the bed.

BR: Why thank you, my gallant sir.

[some shuffling of clothes]

E: Mmmm, you are wasted in a tavern.

BR: Don't make fun! I'm sure you're used to much better.

E: Now what did I tell you about my opinion of... human vintages?

Br: [giggle] Fair enough. Now, about that lesson?

E: I was merely waiting for your invitation.
You see, the trick is to avoid the lip of the glass. At least at first. Try to savor the aroma, let it breathe for a moment.
[deep breathing sound]
Mmm, see what I mean?

BR: Ah, that tickles. Ahhh, yes. Yes, I think I see what you mean. What next?

E: I prefer to work my way up from the bottom. One must be sure the glass is sound, you see.

BR: So, start from-  AH!

E: The foot, yes.
[licking sounds]
Then it is wise to move upwards... slowly.

E: [licking and "mmm" sounds]
BR: [ooos and aaaahs and moans]

BR: T-that's quite good, actually.

E: Then, as you get closer to the lip, you must-

BR: Tell me, tell me!

E: [wickedly] Move to the other leg...

BR: But glasses have stems-

E: This glass has legs, two of them, and the are wonderful.

[basically a repeat of the last bit, slowly working up the girl's leg and to her naughty bits]

BR: P-please, stop teasing-

E: Oh, my dear, that was no tease. That was simply my readying to taste a fine wine. Like... so...

BR: AH!

E: [while "mmmm"-ing in pleasure] Start by circling the lip... slowly.

BR: Oh, that's, that's so-

E: ...and take a taste

BR: Oh, gods yes-

E: Before taking... the...

BR: Yes? YES?

E: Plunge!

[continued sexy sounds until the barmaid orgasms. Preferably loudly.]

BR: [out of breath] That was... quite the lesson...

E: Now, my young apprentice, it is time to see if you have learned anything.
[shuffling of clothes]

BR: [giggle] I'll do my best, but I'm not sure how learning -that- can help with-
w-what?

E: Is something wrong?

BR: Y-you don't have a, a-

E: A... what?

BR: You're a girl?!

[awkward silence]

E: You... did not know?

BR: I-I've never been with, I mean, I've never met an elf before...

E: And you thought I was a man?

BR: Well, I've heard the stories, and I didn't want to assume-

E: [half to herself] ...humans.

BR: And the way you talked to me...

E: Do you dislike women?

BR: I- er, I wouldn't really know. I mean, you're lovely, but I've never thought about- and that was so; gods, I keep putting my foot in my mouth.

E: Indeed. Let us replace it with this, shall we?

BR: Wait-  [mouth suddenly full with vagina]

E: I have a better use for your tongue than talking. Now get to work!

BR: [mouth still full of vagina] Mmmph!

[continued sexy sounds]

E: Yes, just like that.
Oh, watch the teeth, dear.
Mmmm... you are not half bad...
Ah, right there!

AH!

BR: [slight coughing]

E: So, how was your first taste of Elvin... wine?

BR: I, I...

E: Yes?

BR: I think I could get used to that.

E: [giggles happily]

BR: [after a pause, joins in]

[both laugh]

The end.