Thread 3: Stories 31-45

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>Cadance
“Applejack 2”
‘Applejack’
________

*Cadance bursts into Shining’s room*

>Alright you little husband-stealer, where’s my man?

“Your mane? That’s on your head, Caddy. Wow, they told me your were dumb but I didn’t think this dumb!”

>...My man, my colt, my stallion, MY HUSBAND. Where is he? And don’t call me that!

“Oooooh… I dunno. He suddenly said he had to go talk to Applejack about something.”

>Which Applejack? In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a bajillion of you holey things running around, stealing food and stealing husbands!

“The Princess one, the one with the huge butt!”

>I’m going to tell her you said that.

“Go ahead, big butts are awesome! Like mine! On the other hoof, yours looks mighty boney, Caddy. It doesn’t even jiggle!”

>I--yes it does! …a little… anyway, my rear is perfectly nice!

“Nice and boney, right!”

>Shut up!

“You don’t have to be ashamed, some mares are just thicker than others! When you grow up, I’m sure you’ll round out!”

>When I grow u--I’m already grown up!

“...I’m sorry to hear that, Caddy. It must be painful every time you sit down.”

>Quit calling me that! And no, for your information, it is not! It feels fine!

“Well, I know my rump must feel fine when I sit on Shiny’s lap! He always smiles when I rock side to side!”

>…

“It’s a good tush, yup! I can’t wait for him to get back so we can play rock, rock, rock some more. I’m gettin’ really good at it! Whenever I win, he lets me ride on his back and runs around the castle so I can be a knight just like him!”

>Well… you two have fun with that, I’ll… I’ll be back later….

“Huh? Okay! See ya later, Caddy!”

>I told you not to call me... never mind, go ahead, call me what you want.

"Yay!"

*Later, in the castle*

>How do you do it?!

‘Do what? What’re ya’ll yellin’ ‘bout now?’

>How did you get your, um… you know… how’d it get so big?

‘...are y’all askin’ what Ah think yer’ askin’?’

>Yes! Please oh please, tell me your secret!

‘Girl, it ain’t no secret. Mah rump’s always been big, since Ah was little, and it just sorta ballooned as Ah got older. This cake sure don’t help it none, though….’

>Cake?

‘Well, Ah guess applebuckin’ also helped shape it up, too….’

>And applebuckin’?

‘Now that Ah think about it, that might explain all the looks Ah get. Never really thought about it before n--’

*Cadance suddenly gallops from the room*

‘Huh. Wonder what that was all about?’

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>Celestia
"Applejack"
'Applejack 56'
~~~~~~

>So....

"So...."

>Fire?

"Lots of it."

>Reasons?

"Applejack 56 got cold."

>My fault?

"Your fault."

>Forgot to sign the bill for the maintenance?

"Been on yer' desk for a week."

>....Anything you have to say for yourself?

'It's soooo preeeetty.'

>Of course.

"We're sleepin' in-"

>Luna's room! Of course, how wise of you, Princess Applejack. After all, she tends not to use it at night. Wise choice, indeed.

"...Fine. But when she yells at me-"

>I will point out her rump has decreased slightly, and all will be forgiven. Now, get a hold of that Changeling, it's getting a bit too close.

'Soooo preeetty.'

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>Chrysalis
"Applejack 18"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Inconceivable! We're still no closer to our conquest of the Crystal Empire, and it's been weeks!

"Most invasions take years to plan-"

>I must have overlooked something, something hidden away from my sight!

"I can see why it would be hard to see the flaws in your plan, as they have literally boiled down to 'have me enter the Crystal Kingdom and try to have sex with Shining Armor', but I'm pretty sure it's only hard to see those flaws because they make up the entire plan. It would be like trying to point out ONE speck of dumb in a sea of stupid."

>Yes, I have been having you focus too much on Shining Armor, haven't I? Maybe my plan isn't though enough! Maybe I should send you after... someone else?

"Oh, of course! Send me after Cadence next, because we just didn't have enough reasons this was dumb yet-"

>NO! She doesn't get any!

"....Wait, are you listening to me or not?"

>No no, Applejack number I don't give a fuck, you're right. Shining Armor's love is powerful enough to let me take on Celestia after just a few days, and drained the whole time at that! Imagine what we could do with a steady supply of that!

"I just... why Shining Armor? Granted, he's not the worst pony I could imagine, he's even kind of nice when you spend some time with him, but this is really specific of a target."

>Then it's settled! Return to the Crystal Empire, Cadence will be visiting her sister in law soon enough. You will use that time to strike, and take his love from him!

"Can I at least stop and get some more of that Danish on the way? It doesn't taste all that good, but SOMEPONY treating me nicely is pretty refreshing."

>I knew I could count on you to be as quick and efficient as possible!

"One of these days, I'm just going to say gibberish at you, and you... won't even notice. Damn it."

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>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘Chrysalis’
______

>….

“Perfect timing, Applejack. Real quick like, I need you to tell me what you see so I can be sure I’m not suffering a hallucination like Miss Cheerilee.”

>That’s the thing. Ah think we both might be under some shit ‘cause there’s no way I’m seein’ Chrysalis wearin’ a green beret and glasses with pen in hoof as she makes what seems to be accurate corrections to the newest batch of soldier applications.

“...Ah. So we’re either completely bucking insane, or this is really happening.”

‘You’re both completely bucking insane and this is really happening.’

>HAWH! Ah told ya, ‘Tia! In yer face! Ah knew she… she… what’s that yer drinkin’ there, Chrysalis?

‘Oh, this? A wonderful little brew called ‘caffeine’. The ‘coffee’ Changeling gave it to me; he’s gotten me hooked, if I do say.’

>...can’t be.

“I refuse to believe….”

‘What?’

>Nothing. But Ah gotta question… say y’all got the chance to ever invade Canterlot again. Think ya’d succeed?


‘Certainly. First thing I’d do differently would be to...’

*Chrysalis sets down her pencil and calmly starts into a forty-five minute long explanation of how she’d assume command of Canterlot, detailing in-depth the many gory demises of a number of ponies and the utter decimation of Celestia’s kingdom*

‘...wear her blood-saturated skin like the finest silk to show others who their TRUE queen is now. That’s about it, really.’

>…

“…I think I’m going to be sick.”

‘Ah, but at any rate, I’ve made the requested changes to these forms. Quite frankly, none of them look to be any better than Shining Armor, but it’s your castle and it’s not my business telling you have to protect it. Here you are, Celestia.’

‘Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I think I’ve about three more hours before this coffee wears off. There are still some Changelings without proper identification.’

*she exits the room, leaving it in a stunned silence*

>She’s never drinkin’ coffee again.

“Spread the word. Quickly. Anyone caught with caffeine gets shot into the sun.”


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>Shining Armor
"Applejack 18"
'Cadence'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>The hell?

"Ah, shit. I didn't think you'd be back so quickly."

>How did you....

"What? It's not like your armory was locked."

>Making a note of that. But to be honest, I'm more blown away by the fact you're doing actual infiltration stuff. Gold star.

"You'd think, but...."

>Thought this was my wife's closet?

"Who BEJEWELS a freaking armory door!?"

>Ponies who have an obsession with crystals.

"...Point. So... I mean, we're alone in this room together, that door has a lock on it, and I clearly came here for-"

>No thanks.

"COME ON ALREADY!"

>This is a terrible plan.

*breaks down*"I know! I knooohohohoooow! But she won't stop! She's freaking obsessed with this plan, and is just going to keep sending me and sending me! I could be planting bombs, getting blackmail, abducting other ponies even! This plan is so dumb!"

>There there, you want to go play Candyland?

"No!... Friggen hate Candyland.... I'm going to go back, tell her yet again that I remain unravaged, and wait another day or two be sent back AGAIN so I can keep failing. That okay with you?"

>Works for me, I guess, but you don't have to-

*She leaves, slamming the door*

*Door opens about a minute later, and Cadence walks in*

'There you are, sweetie! Listen, I was just thinking that you and I don't get to spend nearly enough time together, so why don't I lock this door and-'

>Not fooling anyone, Applejack whoever.

'...Wait, what?'

*he moves past her*

>Really, how dumb do you think I am? I'm almost insulted.

'No, Shiny, it's actually me. Shiny? Shining Armor! Come back here! IT'S ACTUALLY ME! I REALLY WANT TO-'

*Slam*

'....SON OF A BITCH!'

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>AJ2
"AJ42"
'Chrysalis'
-Shining Armour-
'-AJ18-
~~~~~~~~
'THAT'S IT!'

"What is it, my liege?"

'WE TRICK THE SHINING ARMOUR TO HATE THE STUPID ONE!'

"You mean AJ2?"

'...Yeah, yeah, whatever. Point IS! .....I forget.'

"Trick Shining and kill him?"

'YES!'

"I'll go get eighteen."
~~~~~~~~
"You remember your lines?"

'-Mhm-'

Eighteen shapeshifts into AJ2, making sure not to miss a single detail

'-Lets go-AHEM-'
'-Lets go!-'

"Voice change, good call."

The two changelings walk by Shining's office, as he's doing paperwork at the moment

'-I just don't like him anymore, you know?-'

"Understandable. He's an incompentent fool. Flash Sentry's better than him."

'-Who?-'

"I'll tell you later-"

-HEY! What are you two talking about?-

"Oh nothi-"

'-You!-'

-...Wh-what?-

"Well, the secret's out. AJ2 doesn't like you anymore."

-Y-You serious?-

'-Yup! You're the stupidest mess I've ever seen!-'

-O-Oh....-

"Well, we gotta go. I'm sure Chrysalis needs /us/"

'-Yeah! Bye!-'

The two changelings leave Shining to his own thoughts, chuckling along the way
Shining starts to sob as he walks back to his office

~Later that day~

AJ2 is bouncing to Shiny's room, with two icecream cones with her
Once she gets there, she opens the door and notices an angry looking Shiny with a shield around him

>Hia, Shiny! I brought you icecream!

-Is there poison in it?-

>...Uh, no..?

-Then fuck off. I don't need your "goodbye" icrecream-

>"Goodbye icream"? What do you mean?

-YOU /KNOW/ WHAT I MEAN!-

>I-I don't! Don't yell at me, please!

-Get out of here. GO!-

AJ2 rushes out of Shining's room, dropping the icream on the floor
~~~~~
'Wait, it actually worked?'

"Yes, my Queen. I just saw a crying AJ2 rush by here."

'You're serious, cor...cor..'

"Correct?"

'Yeah, whatever. But this is fan... fa... Hold on...'

"..."

'Fan-taz-tick. I said it right, right?'

"Yes, my Queen."

'PERFECT! Lets party right this-OW!'
'WHICH ONE OF YOU DE...D.. Hold..'

...

'Dee-gene-or-eats, JUST THREW THAT AT ME?!'

-Hello, Chrissie.-

'...Oh shit.'

And so, Shining beat the shit out of Chrysalis and friends-I'm lying. 42 threw him out before he could do anything
Then the bruised Shining went to his friendling, AJ2 and apologized
Everybody lived happily ever after-except for Shining's broken legs from AJ2 and AJ42. He spent days in the hospital, weeks even

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>Applejack
"Celestia"
'Applejack 52'
~~~~~~~~~~

>Princess?

"Nope, I'M A QUEEN NOW! MWAHAHAHAA!

>....Really?

"No, I've been reduced to some honestly terrible distractions in the hopes you will leave me be, to be honest."

>Jus' wanted ta' tell ya', this is the dumbest idea ya'll have ever had.

"What? I think it's cute."

>Puttin' Applejack 56 in charge of the fireworks is just... it's stupid. Ah'm being straight here, it's stupid.

"I know, but if I eat another slice of cake tonight I swear I will finally over power the magical fueling my immortality and succumb to diabetes. I need my moments of happiness."

>....Is Applejack 56 jus' shovin' them all into a pile?

"Step back, Applejack, and take it all in."

'WHOOPS!'

*sounds of eruptions, explosions, screams of terror and a single glass of chocolate milk falling to the ground go off*

"Take it all... in...

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>Applejack 42
"Applejack 18"
'Princess Applejack'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Rough day?

"Shut it."

>She says, and then immediately sits next to me.

"I said shut it, you just happen to be on the only comfy couch."

>Nice of Applejack to let us drag it in here.

"She says Luna's gotten too big, she'd break it if she even tried to sit on it."

>Mmmhmmm. So, what's the problem now?

"Besides my failure?"

>Yeah.

"....I saw Applejack 2 when I walked out of there."

>Little traitor.

"She was in the bakery outside the Crystal Palace. Just sitting there at a table. Smiling and waving at everyone who walked past..."

>And?

"They were waving back. Smiling, too."

>...Little jerk's just flaunting it now. I can't even get a decent cup of hot chocolate in Canterlot without them freaking out, and I'm not even sure I'm allowed near Ponyville.

"Right? But there she is, bouncing through the streets, Prince of the Empire hot on her heels..."

>...I should go fight Shining Armor again, just for old times sake.

"Try to hit him in the balls or something. At least then he'd be using them."

>...Wanna go mess with Applejack?

"...Yes."

~~~~~~~~Twenty minutes later~~~~~~~~

'Ah' don't know which one of ya'll Changeling did this... but you'll regret it.'

The guards beneath her sagely agreed, and then proceeded to continue trying to chisel her out of the green goop sticking her to the ceiling. How she had gotten up there, they had no idea.

But they did know one thing. The glow wasn't hot, but something about it didn't feel right.

What're the odds it causes cancer too, honestly?

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>Applejack
"Celestia"
'Luna'
*Twilight*
-Cadence-
~~~~~~~~
Celestia and Applejack walk in covered in food, claw marks, and feathers

'By the darkside of mine own posterior, what hath befallen thee?'

"Ask Princess Badnews since it's her usual job."

>The Griffons 'ave declared war on us.

'But our relations with ye Griffon kingdoms was at an all-time high before tonight! Yonder gay festivities was to honor the birth of the Griffon King himself as a surprise!'

After a pause Luna glares at Celestia.

'What hath thee done, sister?!'

"What are you looking at me for? I did nothing!"

>She's righ', ya know.

'Truly?'

>Ya wanna know who we all really blame fer a party gettin' too wild?

No one had to say it, Luna immediately under stood. And at this same moment, Twilight, in the ruined ballroom, freed herself from her sugary tomb then extracted her sister-in-law's head from the turkey. As one all five princesses said in varying volumes

>"'*-Pinkie Pie!-*'"

And that's how Equestria was doomed.

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>Applejack
“Luna”
‘Applejack 56’
_____

*sun rises*

>Nnnnm… G’mornin’, me56, did ja sleep well? … AJ56? Where are ya?

*a sudden yell rocks the castle and Applejack races down the halls, kicking open the door to Luna’s room*

>What’s the matter, Luna? Ah heard ya screamin’ all the way… from… huh.

“Applejack! Get this clinging monstrosity off our backside at once!”

‘Hey, AJ! What brings you here?’

“Unhoof me, I say!”

>Ah came ‘cuzza Luna’s scream but now Ah’m just confused… 56, why’re y’all rubbin’ yer face on Luna’s rear like that?

‘Because it’s soft. And warm. And really, really wide. It feels like a pillow!’

“How dare thee! Our royal rump has been losing inches every day thanks to our strict di--EEEP!”

‘Hey, I can even fit my face into this little crack in the middle here! Luna has the best butt ever! What’re you dieting for? Leave it this way! I can even play it like bongos!’

>Wow. Wooooow… that actually just happened, didn’t it? Hahahaha! Celestia help me, mah sides!

*as a lively tune is played off Luna’s rear, Applejack hits the ground laughing uncontrollably*

“We have never been so mortified in all our life… If thou weren’t a fledgling Changeling, we swear….”

>W-well, Luna, look at this way, hahaha… At least someone has good use fer that rear of yours. But, me56, that’s enough play time. C’mon, ya gotta get to school.

‘No way... you mean, I gotta go there again?’

>…

“...pft.”

>Yes, 56, school is a weekly thing.

‘Rats… well, okay. When I get home, I’m coming to see you again, Luna.’

“That’s ‘Princess’ Luna to you, whelp, and we’d prefer thou did not!”

‘And a good-bye kiss for good luck!’

>…

“...did this creature just…?

>Messily kiss yer left cheek? That’s what it looked like, yeah. Come along now, 56, we, uh… best leave Luna alone.

‘Sure thing, orange boss!’

*Applejack and AJ56 leave both the room and a very wide-eyed, trembling Luna behind*


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>Shining Armor.
"AJ2"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>....Okay, explain to me calmly, and descriptively, how did you manage to pull this off?

"Getting stuck on the ceiling?"

>No- Okay, yes, that too. We'll get to you being glued to the ceiling by what looks like caramel. That topic will be discussed. What I'm more concerned about, as you can probably guess, is the entirety of the Gryphon army up there next to you. Now, I'm not the best at counting in the world, I admit that, but I'm pretty sure that's... all of them. All of the army.

"Nu-Uh!... Just most of them. I think, like, a couple of them are on the wall. They didn't make it to the ceiling."

>Focus, AJ2, how did this happen?

"Shiny, I... I... I don't know. I really don't know. I promise I'm not lying. One minute the bird things were trying to break into the castle, and then we were all up here. It's just a big, candy filled blur."

>....So, your Highness, do you want to add anything?

*muffled noises*

>See, that's interesting. I just heard "Never tell anyone we were defeated in seconds by a single Changeling wielding nothing but a bag of caramel, and this whole war thing goes away!" Wow, weird ringing in my ear, huh? Probably all the screaming.

*Silence*

*More muffled noises in the affirmative*

>Oh, you want to call off your war? Well, that was just so gracious of you to send your messenger to tell us. By the way, totally unrelated, but I think that there is a pathway under the castle that leads safely out of sight! Now, normally it's quite heavily fortified and well guarded, but you know what? I think it's free today. Not that you would need to use it, after all, you were in your kingdom the whole time!

"....Wait, what? She's right there. I can see her. Is the light getting in your eyes."

>Sarcasm, Applejack 2.

"Her name was Sarcasm the whole time!? Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed!"

>I'm sure you'll be forgiven.

*Magic shield envelopes AJ2, and safely brings her to the ground.*

>C'mon two, lets go get some ice-cream. You earned it.

"No Caramel on it, please?"

>We'll get extra sprinkles instead. See to these gryphons that aren't actually here, guys.

""SIR YES SIR!""

>I'd help, but I've got ice cream to deliver.

"Yay!"

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>"..." Shining
"..." AJ2
'...' Various AJ changelings

-----

"Today was so fun!"

>"Yeah, it was pretty good."

"Now we watch films!"

>"And now films. Anything in particular?"

"Something by Dream-Hooves!"

>"So, the new film Frozen Hoof?"

"Yeah!"

>"They need to come up with better titles..."

-----

~A dozen or so AJ changelings sit on, around, or in front of giant sofa with their eyes glued to the equally giant TV playing the film. Shining is seated in the middle of the couch with AJ2 in his lap due to lacking space, (Amongst other things.) Everyone has hot chocolate.~

'Use the force!'

'Wrong film!'

'Oh right...'

"I like this film, it's funny."

>"Mhm. It's alright."

"What? Aren't you enjoying it?"

>"Oh, no no, I am. I'm just kinda elsewhere right now."

"Where are you?" AJ2 asks innocently while taking a sip of her drink. "'Cos there's a film on and you should watch it with me."

~Shining laughs and pays more attention to the ongoing movie~

>"Yeah, alright. Enjoying your drink?"

"Uh-huh. And the marchmalleys!"

>"I put in the last we had for you."

"Awh, thanks Shiny!"

~She nuzzles his cheek and resumes watching the film. She doesn't notice the blush creeping across Shining's face, not that she would notice anyway had she been looking. Shining gets more comfortable and hugs Two a little closer.~

>"Yep, definitely been a good day."

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>Chrysalis
"Applejack 42"
'Applejack 18'
"'Shining Armor""
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>My most loyal minions, I am in need of your services.

"Of course, my Queen."

'Blue parrots turn orange when wet"

"..wha-"

>As I'm sure you've seen, our efforts for the capturing of the Crystal Empire have been... less than successful.

'The dishwasher once turned to a cat, and then it was gone.'

"...What is the matter with you-"

>But we are not to be discouraged! We must find a way to secure that kingdom, and utilize the location and power within. As it stands, we have no hope of conquering Equestria. Much as I am loath to admit it, even if we should neutralize all of the various Alicorns in the castle, we face an insurmountable foe in Discord.

'But do you know what the purple said? He found the key in his couch.'

>Which is why I have thought of a new method of infiltration.

'And it's as stupid as the other one.'

"You insolent-"

>Threesome.

"....M-my queen?"

>Applejack forty two, you and Applejack who even gives a fuck will BOTH infiltrate the kingdom, and seduce Shining Armor that way! No stallion could possibly resist! You will both disquise yourself as that pretty pink princess, and drain him of every drop of power! YES!

'Bubble baths are nice.'

>Good to see you understand, Applejack number fuck-off. Go! And fulfill my command!

"...My Queen, this plan sounds really-"

>Why are you still here? GO!

"...At once, of course."

'Jimmypuck you too, lady.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'So, what? I'm just supposed to think my wife cloned herself or something?"'

"Just- shut up and get on the bed."

"'Oh honey, your pillow talk is as titillating as ever. I can barely contain myself."'

'Just, please, don't throw us out with the shield. That thing hurts.'

"Stick to the mission!"

'The mission is dumb!'

"'Thank you for ruining my favorite fantasy, by the way."'

"You're dumb!"

"'Hey, look at that. Even my fake wife ignores me."'

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Bugqueen:"You have failed me."
AJ17: "so I have"
BQ: "again, and even though I tried to per-sewade you to do otherwise and warned you will be executed next time"

Chrysislis eyeballs her dictonary, worn and bent at this point.

AJ17: "true"
BQ: "very well then, any last words AJ, I belive 17?"
AJ: "wait, if I'm going to die, can you at least remember my number?"
BQ: "wait what?"
AJ17: "I'm apple jack sixteen not seventeen. What would you have done if you executed the wrong minon?"
BQ: "nothing, and move on with living in this ball room?"
AJ17: "wrong, you would have to deal with the same screw up again, multiple times, later on."
BQ: "I see"
AJ17: "thats why it matters for you to be effective as a queen you need to deal with the screw ups too..."
BQ: "I see, very well apple jack sixteen as a reward for your intellegance I will grant you one last request, and your life and my life along with my crown are not up for bargening."
BQ: "what would you like?"

AJ17 then begins to sob silently for a moment.
The room buzzes unconfrotably.

AJ17: "can I say goodbye to my friends?"
BQ: "you guys have friends?"
AJ17: "please?"
BQ: "very well, you queen is ben-nevolent."
AJ17: "thank you, I'll be right back"

AJ16: "oh hey seventeen! Your alive?"
AJ17: "yep, dumb lady can't even tell us apart and just executes some poor guy at random later on."
AJ16: "yesh, harsh world"
AJ17: "Tell me about it. Oh by the way, queen is looking for you, seeing as she is in a bad mood might want to steep on it and be extra obediant, you know. To garentee survival?"
AJ16: "ah, thanks man!"
AJ16 leaves the hall way to head back into the ballroom.
AJ18: "you know, for the record, your a terrible pony who is going to get his one day."
AJ17: "yep, but I'm smart enough to not pin the blame on you or any of the smarter changlings."
AJ18: "fair enough"

They both sit there as the ballroom doors light up with green light and screams echo throught the castle.

AJ17: "I live yet another day."
AJ18: "same as always"
AJ 18 spits into a potted plant nearby as they both wander off.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


>Applejack
“Spike”
‘Celestia’
______

“You’d never think there was so much terminally wrong with Equestria just by looking out this window.”

>Ah know, right?

“Everything’s so calm and peaceful, sun’s bright, the air is sweet, the birds are chirping…”

>Magical, some might call it. There’s just a sorta soothin’ tranquility, ‘hon.

“Yeah. On the surface at least.”

>Mmmhm. Down below? Nothin’ but the foulest of nightmares in the form of long forgotten maintenance bills, a terrible core structure that leaves exploitable holes everywhere, and the suffocatin’ truth that one day, one day soon, everything’s gonna snap like a brittle twig.

“Half the soldiers don’t have proper armor. Changelings are effortlessly beating our ‘best’ guard, who just happens to be the Royal Captain. The cake budget is somehow the most important invoice to keep track of, and not the forrest teeming with monsters.”

>Oh heaven’s no, Spike. That would actually mean payin’ attention. Doin’ the smart thing. Ensurin’ the safety of ponies everywhere. And we can’t have that.

“Heh, that sarcasm was thicker than custard.”

>Was it? Good.

“But, you’re here now, and despite all this calamity, you’re making some real noticeable strides here, AJ.”

>Can’t tell ya how much that means to me, Spike. And Ah reckon that’s enough listlessly starin’ out the window and thinkin’ of better times, eh? The insufferable mountains of paperwork ain’t gonna sort itself.

“Unfortunately, right? Hahaha, yeah, let’s go. You get started, I’ll go get some pastries and cider and be with you in a jiffy.”

>Can’t wait, partner.

*the two leave Celestia’s chambers, leaving only Celestia herself within*

‘You know what? Fuck the both of you. Talking like I’m not here? Yeah, buck you.’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________