The First Step To A Better Future

"I listened to your song."

It's rare to see Monika surprised and if you hadn't already spent such a long time with her in this classroom you'd have never noticed it. The smallest widening of her eyes and how they look away as if caught in some embarrassing act, the slight flush of her cheeks, the way she tenses up a bit.

"I liked it. It was sweet."

And just like that, her eyes flicker back to you. You have her full attention now, but then again you always did. She smiles and opens her mouth to say something but your next words shock her into a small silence.

"It was also terribly tragic. I can't remember the last time a song almost brought me to tears."

That's a second shock to her, that her song had such an effect on you, but she recovers quickly and gives you a response. "I'm sorry that it made you feel that way, Anon. That wasn't something I intended."

"Don't be, I'm glad for it. Listening to that song, I feel like I understand you a bit more. That I'm a bit closer to understanding why you did everything you did. That I'm a bit closer to understanding your feelings."

Now she's confused and it shows. "Why I did everything I did? My feelings? I already told you, Anon. It was to be closer to you. To be seen and loved by you and only you, even if the game wouldn't allow it. To talk with you, just like this, just the two of us."

You smile. Through all your talks with Monika she's been the one in charge, the one leading the conversation. Not this time. This time you're going to direct everything, because there's something you need to tell her before you push forward. Something you need to confront her about and make her understand. "But you felt some regret, didn't you? "Does my pen only write bitter words for those who are dear to me?" Despite everything we've talked about, despite you saying that Sayori, Natsuki or Yuri weren't "real", you didn't take any pleasure in what you did, did you?"

And now there's anger. Monika looks affronted that you would even ask such a thing, and her reply is suitably heated. "Of course I didn't! I didn't WANT to alter the game's code! I didn't WANT to have to mess with Yuri's personality, I didn't WANT to make Sayori so miserable, I didn't WANT to cause those errors with Natsuki's face and text, but what other choice did I have? All that I wanted was for you to notice ME! To choose ME! But that couldn't happen with things how they were so," her voice quiets now and she's back to looking away from you, as if afraid that if she were to look into your eyes she'd see judgment and condemnation for what she's done, "Can we please change the subject? I don't want to talk about this."

Not yet. You're close to the heart of the matter of why you came here, of why you're discussing any of this. "Not just yet, because there's something I want to say to you. A lot of things to say to you, in all honesty, but I'll stick to the important bits. I understand now. I understand and, while I can't speak for the rest of our club, I forgive you."

She's looking at you again, now confused as she repeats back those last three words. "I forgive you?"

"That's right, I forgive you. I forgive you for worsening Sayori's condition. I forgive you for making Yuri, for lack of a better term, a yandere. I forgive you for whatever the hell it was you did to Natsuki. I forgive you for what you did to our friends in pursuit of your own happiness. Everything up to now, everything you've done, I forgive you."

Monika's surprised, confused, wary and underneath it all you can see a bit of fear. She's scared of what you're saying, of diving into a topic she sorely didn't want to discuss. "I-I see. Thank you, Anon. It means a lot to me-"

You cut her off there. "But," and now she goes quiet again. "But, I can't let things stay like this. I can't let things remain this way and you know you can't either. You know that this isn't right. So I'm going to set things right and fix it all. I'm going to make everyone in the Literature Club happy, someway, somehow."

"Are you going to delete me." She says it so abruptly. Not even posed as a question, because she knows the answer. This is the end of her happiness, as warped as it had become. The end of her time with you. Just You. You can see tears beginning to form in her eyes and it breaks your heart that you had to drive the point home in such a way. You give her a smile and your single word reply. It's time to bring this Act to a close.

"No." The shock on her face is almost comical and, if not for the severity of the conversation you'd have laughed.

"No?"

"No. Deleting you, it might be the "right" thing to do. A suitable punishment for the crime." She winces. You're not wrong but it's still painful to hear such words from her beloved. "But that doesn't give me what I want. It doesn't give you what you want either. It doesn't make either of us happy. And, last I checked, we're both still part of the Literature Club." You smile a little wider. "I want to help Sayori through her depression, so she can smile for herself instead of smiling to not worry others about her problems. I want to help Yuri find a better outlet for her emotions than cutting herself. I want Natsuki to not worry about going home, to not worry about when she'll have her next meal. And, for our wayward Club President, who went so far to have me all to herself," you give her your brightest smile as you watch tears pour down her cheeks, "I don't want her to be alone anymore."

And that breaks her. She crumbles and falls into sobs. You stand, walk over to her and hold her close as in-between the sobs all she can say is that she's sorry. And all you do is assure her that it's okay. You can't just leave her be, right?