Selling physics textbooks door to door just wasn't as lucrative a business as it used to be. Phreddy Physics had a family to support(this family only consisting of him and his exotic pet goldfish, but a family nonetheless), and times were rough. Sometomes you just had to commit a series of well-thought out, expertly planned bank heists using your above-average knowledge of physics to aid you. That's just what Phreddy did. He would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids recognizing him on the street and calling up the cops. Now, he was on the run, furiously trying to throw them off his trail.
What better way to do that than by randomly zig-zagging against Pennsylvania, stopping at state parks in an attempt to lose the feds among the trees?
First, he found the most optimal starting location to be the Norristown Farm Park. Why? Don't ask me, I'm just the narrator; Phreddy is the physics-spewing, bank-robbing madman around here. Before leaving, Phreddy enjoyed a nice walk around the farm park, sat in the gazebo for just a moment, and waded upstream in an attempt to get the residual evidence off his clothes. Then, hopping in his home-made car(Phreddy always had a talent for invention), he was off to Promised Land State Park, driving 132.77 km away. Upon arrival, he realized he had lost the cops somewhere in east-central Pennsylvania, and so he took ample time enjoying the swimming, boating, and fishing options that the park had. When he again heard sirens wailing in the distance, he fled to the next park on his list: Rothrock Forest, which was 254.48 km away. There, he rented a bicycle and pedalled to the nearest hiking trail, where he stopped to eat with a group of campers, and set off on a hiking trail to avoid the State Trooper. When the coast was clear, he drove 125.73 km away to Codorus State Park, enjoying the lapse in police chases to ride horses, fish, and hunt(which he didn't succeed at doing). Next up was Hillman State Park, 309.80 km away, where Phreddy ditched his clothes for a souvenir t-shirt and sweatpants, and once again tried his hand at fishing, hiking, and hunting. Finally, he made a last ditch-effort to get as close to crossing state borders as possible, and made his way up to Pymatuning State Park, 108.63 km away, where he ditched his car (it only cost him $50), ate a quick lunch at a picnic, swam out to the docks, and hijacked a boat and sailed away. Phreddy eventually crossed state borders and made a home for himself in Vermont. When the search for him ws inevitably given up, he returned back to Norristown and started his life with a new identity as a physics teacher. Yet he'd occasionally mention the antics of his past life, always making sure to refer to himself in the third-person to assure he wasn't caught. The legacy of Phreddy Physics would always prevail.