NEW END

SLOT — SATURN

[HYMN FOR THE WEEKEND]

|NAME: Kasper
            ENGLISH NAME — Kasper Ramos Han
            KOREAN NAME — Kyori Han

|NICKNAME:
                   KASPER/KASS — she prefers to be called by her real name or nickname, and not so much her Korean one (only exception is teachers and paperwork). Ironically, her name also has to do with her nickname as well as her sinful secret, even though the first thing people think about is 'Casper the Friendly Ghost' when they hear her name.
                   GHOST GIRL — this nickname has double meaning, even though no one     realizes it. The nickname itself came from her being unknown and basically invisible towards others, and her quiet nature. It's used more in a teasing sort of way that describes her overall personality. However this nickname could also be about her dark secret, and how Kasper mercilessly stabbed her mother over and over again until she was rendered dead. The guilt and memory scarring and haunting her like a ghost, watching her silently everywhere she goes.

|AGE: 16 (soon to be 17)

|BIRTHDAY: October 31st, 2000

|BIRTHPLACE: St. Paul, Minnesota

|HOMETOWN: St. Paul, Minnesota

|NATIONALITY: American

|ETHNICITY: Korean Spaniard


[A SKY FULL OF STARS]


|LIKES:
- reading (all genres intrigue her, but goes for fantasy and mystery first)
- illustrating (drawing/painting helps calm her down, releasing her of anxiety and she just focuses on making something beautiful)
- music (another thing that calms her down, mainly listens when she's drawing so she can get inspiration)
- sweets (cookies and ice cream are her favorite, and more often that not if you pay close attention, you can see that she has a least two cookies in her bag everyday)
- Her state, Minnesota, and all of North America (she misses it a lot)
- action movies (she absolutely loves watching movies especially if it's Marvel and Avengers)
- television shows + anime (depends on certain types, much into action and suspense)
- sweaters (it covers a lot and not to mention she feels more comfortable in them)
- sweet gestures (still a young girl, Kasper likes to imagine someone being  compassionate, kind, sweet and caring towards her)
- the park (it's where she thinks more and its usually quiet there)

|DISLIKES:
- her mother (reasoning in background)
- loud noises (she likes more quiet and peaceful places)
- going outside in a busy/crowded area (it leaves her on edge and quite uncomfortable, she rather would stay away)
-  speaking (she's not the one to engage in a conversation with others, more like listening to others speak while she just sits there)
- being asked personal questions (she turns very defensive about it)
- very chatty people (she feels the need to be able to talk to them easily which is difficult)
- frogs (for frogs, Kasper always been afraid of them jumping at her)

|HOBBIES:
- stealing snacks from the rude students in school (since she's practically invisible, taking items from others is a piece of cake)
- going to the book store at the mall to read and possibly buy a few comics and mangas
- watching the Olympics at home with Gizmo (she roots for USA while lowkey dissing the other countries participating)
- visiting her mother's grave every month alone to ask for forgiveness
-  going to the park after school to see a stray black cat (she named him Gizmo) who she befriended
-  writing in her small journal (people mistake it for a diary, but she defends that it's a journal)
- writes about any questions she hasn't gotten the answer to, how her day went, her own feelings and thoughts in the form of poetry
- has many sketch pads of filled illustrations, sketches and silly drawings she kept over the years (still thinks she isn't good even though they look beautiful)

|HABITS:
- while in deep thinking or zoning out, Kasper sometimes stares at people by accident
- when she's nervous or anxious, she often bites her nails
- when ending a phone call, she says 'I love you' in English a lot by accident, since she's so used to ending a call with her relatives that way
- her ears turn hot when she's embarrassed or nervous, and she sometimes hiccups/burps (which adds more to the embarrassment)
- she also blurts English and Spanish words unintentionally when she's tired or extremely excited
- when she draws, sometimes she thinks of people, and accidentally draws a detailed portrait of them (the more she likes them, the more detailed it is)
- she likes to make small squeaks and noises when she's alone and reading comics or books
- addicted to Marvel that she has multiple shirts and sweaters of characters (really wants to watch Spiderman Homecoming as well)

[FIX YOU]

|BACKGROUND:

Kasper had a complicated life, which is one of the many reasons why she didn't like speaking about it. She was born in Minnesota, having a two racially different parents (father is from Spain while her mother was Korean). Early years of birth were one of the most peaceful moments in Kasper's life. Mother and father were kinder, more affectionate towards each other. It wasn't until Kasper was five when things started spiraling. The house was toxic and hard the atmosphere was thick and dark. Mother would ignore the presence of Kass' father, working more in the kitchen and going shopping — anything to get away from the house. Her father did the same, leaving early in the morning for work (the poor child stood awake the entire night to see her father leave) and arriving home extremely late at night. It didn't help that he reeked when he arrived back, his eyes half-lidded and his words slurred.

After her ninth birthday, her mother and father finally called quits, ending their marriage and having a divorce. Her mother took custody of Kasper and her father could only see her once a month (not like he put much effort to see her either). Kasper's mother wasn't totally fine, and it was pretty obvious to the child. She tried her best to help her mother out in any way she could, washing the dishes and folding the laundry, to acing exams to ensure her mother that she was doing academically well. It worked well she believed, her mother's lovely affection towards the girl coming back.

However, as Kasper grow older, her mother grew... well, irritated. She would sometimes snap at the girl and get frustrated with her. The girl assumed it was because of the divorce and how it was probably still hurting her mother. But after seeing her mother scream at her using her father's name, she believed that it was because of how similar she looked to him. By the age of 13, her mother arranged for them to go back to her home country, Korea. Of course, Kasper agreed to it, not wanted to anger her mother further, and she could understand that she might need a break ever since the divorce she had. However when they landed, the teen realized that life was much different from how she lived in Minnesota. Her mother wasn't much help and didn't really bother telling her about the customs and traditions that came. The only way she learned was by observation and watching from afar.

Her mother's attitude towards Kasper grew worse with each passing day. She was much harsh that before, and often times the girl didn't come back home due to how badly her mother acted towards her. She spewed curses here and there, both English and Korean, anything really. She drank more beer and took more pills for the migraines she was having — mother was a mess by this point. She kept calling Kasper by her father's name, not even referring to her as her own daughter.

It wasn't until two years later, when Kasper was around 15 and a half, when her mother threatened to kill her. Now, it didn't frighten Kasper as much, considering the amount of shit that came out of her mother's mouth when she was drunk, Kasper believed that she was just bluffing or it was just a lame threat. It wasn't until her mother grabbed the nearest kitchen knife, and swung at her. She tripped and fell down, the knife missing her by an inch. By instinct, the girl front kicked her mother in the stomach, watching at she fell to the ground in front of her with a thump. Adrenaline pumping through her veins, she immediately jumped for it, tackling her mother down and wrestling for the knife. Something inside Kasper suddenly snapped, just as her mother was spewing out nasty words once again, referring her father's name.

And she screamed like a banshee, Kasper screamed as she yanked the knife out of her hands, and forced it into her mother's stomach ruthlessly, churning it until she heard the suffering wails of her mother come to an end. Her eyes were dark and crazed, a small smile pulling at the ends of her mouth as she yanked the knife back, watching as the blood squirted from her like a water fountain. With heavy breaths and dimmed eyelids, the girl slumped to the nearest wall, not caring to do anything about he body just yet. Muttering softly, she looked at the dead body in disgust, repeating the same phrase over: "My name is Kasper mother, it's Kasper."

|PERSONALITY:

Kasper Han is described as a brilliant student known to be cold and asocial, due to her being ostracized by the students. Because of this, she is initially shown to have stressed and negative views about Korea's educational system and the people in general (this changed a period of time). Due to these past incidents, she developed a forced dislike of being around people and distanced herself from others, believing that any attempts to establish bonds would produce disastrous results. Stuck into a new environment that was completely different from her previous one in England, Kasper felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb. It didn't help that her mother was too absorbed in her problems and life to acknowledge that her daughter has issues as well. Thank goodness that Kasper was naturally a observant person, watching how people her age interacted and if she had any questions - she would quickly write them down and ask her mother when she had time.

However her attitude became sullen and dull every passing moment of her mother's torment. Before, Kasper's mother was kinder much gentler with the girl. But gradually over the years, she turned toxic, hostile and sensitive to almost everything around her. She was mad when Kasper spoke to her, she was mad when she ignored her, hell she was just mad in general! Her mother's behavior towards her ended, however, it only ended with a knife drilled into her lower abdomen, which was created by Kasper herself. The guilt and terrifying experience traumatized the girl, everyday she imagined the blood on her hands, drowning in her despair, with no one to listen to her cries.

Her asocial exterior cracks a bit one fateful night when she is stopped from jumping off a bridge by her upperclassmate, Mark. She was angered and embarrassed that he caught her try to commit suicide, and stayed silent the entire time he rebuked her angrily, asking her why she tried to kill herself. She didn't respond to him however, why should she? There was no reason to, she deserved to die.

So that's exactly what she told him. That she deserved it.

Kasper was waiting patiently for Mark to just leave her alone, thinking that if she just stayed stone cold, he'd give up and just leave. However, she didn't expect him to drop to his knees and hug her, whispering her name sadly along with apologizes (she was shocked that he even knew her name much less apologize).

Since then, Mark wouldn't leave her alone, he was like a small leech. He wasn't overly bearing, but he would notice her during breaks and sit with her, offer her food to eat, ask her how her day was, etc. It was awkward and uncomfortable at first because the both of them didn't really know how to speak to one another.

While she still remains nonchalant and serious most of the time, Kasper occasionally shows her warmer side towards him, even expressing her own feelings to him sometimes. During these times she does not display any outward expressions of sadness or anger, instead expressing it with indifference towards him, no matter how depressing or how much it's eating her alive. Learning that Mark also had a hard time when he came to Korea (she didn't even know he was from Canada at first, it was nice to see someone from North America) they bonded over their homelands and how much they missed it, or how it was sometimes difficult to read Korean, basically anything they could converse about. Because of their many shared experiences together over the course of time, Kasper slowly becomes trusting towards him, even allowing Mark to read through her journal (which he keeps calling a diary) and sometimes invites him to come to the park with her. She often asks him questions she has, seeing that he was older than her.


|WHY SHE WANTS TO KILL HERSELF: All of the anxiety and paranoia from her mother's death and solitude that Kasper lived in, drives her to ending her own life. She wanted to suffer the way her own mother suffered, drowning in her own sadness and despair until someone ended it for her. To realize how pathetic and weak she was, she wanted to know that she was going to die when trying her best to fight, just like mother did. Kasper thought about the many different ways she cold die, but ultimately she wanted to die without anyone knowing, as if she wasn't there in the first place. So the best idea she came up with was taking her life by jumping off the park's bridge, into the cold and dark waters.


[YELLOW]


|SLOT: Saturn
|BACKUP: Uranus
|FACE CLAIM: Kim Sae ron (both of them can switch though, it's hard)
|BACKUP: Hyunjin from LOONA
|LOVE INTEREST: Mark Lee
|BACKUP: Lee Jeno


[MIRACLES]

WHAT DOES SHE DO WHEN SHE'S...

|HAPPY: It's really hard to see emotions from Kasper but if you observe her eyes, they grow a fraction and her eyebrows raise a bit. Her voice raises a bit and small excitement leeks from her usual soft voice. She likes to thank others respectively and offers to return the favor them if they'd like.

|EXCITED: Her heart accelerates as she can't help but smile a bit. Kasper might be more up to talking with people when she's happy, and the smallest giggles escape from her lips as she feels excited. Her cheeks and ears might feel warmer as well.

|INSPIRED: When Kasper is inspired, her final expression changes as well and there's a change in her personality. Her eyes have this determined look in them, and she often works harder than she normally does. She writes a lot when she gets inspired, and often times looks up to the person she as inspired by.

|THANKFUL: She might feel embarrassed and slightly flustered that someone did something for her (she isn't use to people noticing or helping her). However she thanks them repeatedly and offers to help them in any way they need. She doesn't forget about those who helped her out.

|IN LOVE: She likes to draw the people she loves in detail, so she will draw them in her sketchbook on many different sheets with different angles and facial expressions. She also likes to write about them in her journal as well, writing positive and sweet messages about them and why she likes them so. Like any typical girl, Kasper would admire them and think their actions were cute. Her palms would get slightly sweaty and her ears would turn red. She might have difficulty paying attention in class thinking about them sometimes.

|HOPEFUL: It was hard for Kasper to be hopeful, seeing that it only led to sadness. However when she is hopeful, she reminds herself consistently that she shouldn't doubt it. Her heart flutters a bit and she moves her feet around when she's hopeful.

|CONFUSED: It doesn't show in her facial expressions but she honestly has no idea what's going on? She might write it down in her journal to think about it later on, but wouldn't ask what's going on. As long as it didn't concern her or people she cared about, she didn't bother.

|HORRIFIED: Her eyes dilate and her breath becomes shaky. Often times it triggers memories of her mother being horrible, and her bloody body. She might let out a small yell, and tears stream down her face (not like she notices the tears). She also crawls into a small tight ball and talks to herself quietly, trying to calm herself down.

|IN DENIAL: She forces it into her brain until all traces of doubt are gone. Kasper has an unhealthy and mildly disturbing way of forcing herself to believe in something (just like is she forced herself to believe that she killed her mother willingly).

|ANGRY: Her words are icy and sharp, contrasting her soft and slightly monotone like voice. She would have a hard time, ignoring whoever made her mad until she cooled down. Kasper glares at others behind their backs, and mutters under her breath in English or Spanish.

|ALONE: She's more tranquil and calm when she's alone, not having to worry about others and how to act. It's the best time for her to draw and listen to music, and just taking in the silence. However, don't think she loves being alone all the time, she likes being alone but she doesn't really enjoy being lonely, there's a difference.

|WORRIED: Her brain thinks endlessly about the situations the people she cares about are in. She might even breakdown into tears while she's alone just thinking about them. She wants to help but she doesn't know how to. In the end, she might actually ask questions instead of writing them in her journal.

|BROKEN: Dead silent. Her expressions were completely gone, and acted like a robot. Would hide away for days before coming back, and even then she would still be the same. Will not trust easily once broken, might take several months to she can trust fully once again.


[PARADISE]

|HOW DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER: Kasper knew Mark long before he knew about her (that sounded creepy but it was true). She actually saw him for the first time when  she was eating her lunch outside, seeing him hang out with other students. She recognized Donghyuck firstly, seeing him being slapped teasingly by a tall boy. She strangely remembered seeing him somewhere, then realized that he was one of the fairy popular upperclassmen at the school, girls and boys of all ages practicing swooning for the boy. She could understand why, he was incredibly smart for is age, and very kind and charismatic to others, offering and lending help to anyone that needed it. The first interaction they ever had however, was when she bursted into the music room without thinking, and accidentally stepped in to see Mark strumming his guitar, humming a familiar song. To say she was embarrassed was an understatement, and she practically drowned him in apologizes, quickly grabbing her missing sketchbook and zipping out the door.

|HOW HE FELT ABOUT YOU BEFORE RESCUING YOU: Kasper thought that Mark didn't know she existed, but apparently he did. After the first meeting in the music room (he was equally embarrassed, but found her apologizes cute in a way), he asked his other friends about her. They didn't understand anything he was saying, claiming that they didn't know anyone like that. It was until Mark spotted her sitting alone at the far end of the courtyard, that he pointed his friends in her direction. Jeno was the one to speak out, faintly remembering her name and that she was in his art class, and that she was an exceptional artist. He wasn't obsessed with her of anything, but did have a slight interest in learning about her. You couldn't really blame him though, the girl was practically nonexistent to everyone! He thought Kasper was a pleasant girl by the way Jeno told him about her drawings, just a bit introverted.

|HOW SHE FELT ABOUT HIM BEFORE BEING RESCUED: Kasper thought of Mark just like anyone else, a random face she was soon was going to forget about. It wasn't until she accidentally caught him playing his guitar (which was beautiful) that her views on him changed a bit. She noticed him a lot more than she did before, and thought of how nice and kind he was. Kasper also liked using him in her drawings, creating small head shots or whatever clothing he choose to wear on the pages of her sketchbook.

|HOW HE KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT: Mark learned about her attempt at suicide after seeing her thrown out pages of her sketchbook. It was during lunch when he saw her passive aggressively tear out the pages of her book, chucking it behind her, and tugging at her hair. Waiting until everyone, especially Kasper left, he ran over to where she threw the teared pages, and stared in shock as he saw detailed sketches of ropes and knifes, guns and poisons, and a circled picture of a bridge. Disturbed and worried, he rushed to the park to see her standing on top of the bridge, teetering back and forth ready to fall to her death.

|DOES HE HELP HER MORE: Yes!

|HOW: Mark tries his best to include her into things without making her seem uncomfortable. He might just stay with her silently, awkwardly shuffling as she continued to draw as if he wasn't even there, or he might try to converse with her. Constantly reminding her to eat and checking up on her daily slowly warmed up to her, as she would actually respond instead of nodding her head yes or no. Mark and he would talk a bit in a secluded area, like the music room for instance. She enjoys listening to him play the guitar and shyly asks if she could draw a portrait of him playing. Kasper feels less anxiety and pressure speaking with Mark, realizing that she really needed a friend to talk to. However she didn't speak to him about her suicide attempted and the reason for it, until he brought it up one day. Kasper, awkward and tense about the sensitive topic, would tell him it's nothing. However Mark is a persistent young man, and asks her to tell him because he doesn't want the same thing ever happening again, and that seeing her like that worried and stressed him too much. She would slowly tell him everything that happened in her life, but only after a significant amount of time being friends with the boy. Overall, Mark would try to release all the built up anxiety she faced and would promise to help her and that she doesn't have to face anything alone anymore.


[THE SCIENTIST]

|USERNAME: minimark-

|PASSWORD: I really like Coldplay songs, but my two favorites are Adventure of A Lifetime and Hymn For The Weekend!

|WHY SHOULD I PICK YOUR FORM: Honestly I just tried to give it my all and write a nice character for you to use in the apply fic. SATURN reminded me of myself when I was younger, as it was hard for me to make friends and I often was a loner. Now I never thought about ending my own life but there were plenty of times where I wondered what would happen if I simply disappeared (often than not if made me feel worse because all I could think about was how no one would care) and this slot really pulled me in. I really hope you choose my slot to use for your apply fic, but even if you don't I will still support this because the plot looks really interesting!