According to a Kinsey survey, 75% of men ejaculate within three minutes of penetration.

Oh, to be in the 98th percentile

Males under the age of forty are typically able to achieve an erection in less than ten seconds.

Slow pokes

0.3% are well enough endowed to fellate themselves

The other 99.7% pull a muscle trying. Is fellate REALLY a word?

A typical orgasm lasts from three to ten seconds with contractions occuring every 0.8 seconds.

No wonder we always are so envious of pigs

Medomalacuphobia: the fear of losing an erection.

PEmalacuphobia: the fear of finding that lost erection during gym class

There are five calories in a teaspoon of semen

I always try to show the chickies what is good for me is good for them

Among primates, man has the largest and thickest penis. In fact, an adult gorilla's penis is only 2 inches long

I try to incorporate this little known fact during foreplay

The bobobo chimp holds the record for the quickest mammalian sexual intercourse session at an average of three seconds

I know some chickies that might dispute this

A small, flaccid penis generally has a greater percentage increase during erection than a larger flaccid penis

Another little known fact I try to incorporate during foreplay. Growers vs Showers

Studies have shows males become sexually aroused nearly every time they dream

I think it's EVERTIME

The male fetus is capable of attaining an erection during the last trimester

Okay, just something incestuous about that one

Semen contains small amounts of more than thirty substances, including fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, cretine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12 and various salts and acids.

Still trying to figure out why the "let me be your One-a-Day" line doesn't work

Napoleon's penis was sold to an American urologist for $40,000

Would you not have liked to have been at that auction?

Ithyphallophobia: the fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis

Known to exist in 98% of all women six months or sooner from divorce filings and in 100% of all dead men

At age seventy, 73% of men are still potent

Okay, buddy, you have a 73% chance of being a Dirty Old Man--not bad odds

The smallest erect penis on record was one centimeter

Talk about bad break. AND, who got to be the offical measurer

A man's penis shrinks not only during cold but also from non-sexual excitement like when his favorite sports team wins.

This is why there are no quickies during the Super Bowl

An unobstructed penis is capable of shooting semen anywhere from 12 to 24 inches.

I'm NOT GETTING IT; what would get in the way?

In 1995, Mo Ka Wang, a Chi Kung master in Hong Kong, lifted over 250 pounds two feet off the floor with his erect penis

This one would be a no brainer for Stupid Human tricks. And you think you are a FREAK. Picturing Mrs. Wang saying "Honey, this just isn't doing it for me"

The initial spurt of ejaculate travels at 28 MPH; by way of comparison, the work record for the 100 meter dash is 27.1 MPH

Whew, that would be a clsoe one if you were fucking in a school zone. Imagine having to try to talk yourself outta that ticket

The left teticle usually hangs lower than the right testicle for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.

Ten bucks sez 98% of the men reading this will check this ascertion out within 24 hours