A Kiki & Her Knight

Aug 26th, 2018
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  1. >Be kikimora
  2. >Follow Fabian d'Arc, a knight skilled with sword and word
  3. >Despite the insults of the other knights, he searches for the Holy Grail
  4. >They say he cannot find it
  5. >You believe in your master and follow him
  6. >He has stopped for a drink of water
  7. >You hold your coconut halves at the ready, for when he moves
  8. >You would rather hold his 'coconuts'
  9. >It can never be, he is a noble and you are a mere commoner
  10. >He travels far and wide in search of the Holy Grail
  11. >You follow dutifully clacking the coconuts at the appropriate times
  12. >Eventually, he crosses the Channel to a new land
  13. >The people are uncouth and speak a language that is little more than a bastardized version of French
  14. >Your master learns the language of the Britons, because he is a handsome genius
  15. >You bravely follow him over the moors in search of the Grail
  16. >He battles a black-scaled Lizardman to a draw
  17. >Refuses to fully beat her
  18. >He doesn't want to marry her
  19. >Hope for you
  20. >One night, whilst carefully preparing his evening meal, you realize you are out of foie gras
  21. >Grovel at his feet for forgiveness
  22. >He forgives you and thanks you for your exemplary service
  23. >You wish he had given you a tongue lashing instead... a special kind of tongue lashing
  24. >The next day, he finds an abandoned tower
  25. >While exploring the tower, he finds the Grail
  26. >Your faith in your master is rewarded when you see him succeed
  27. >Immediately, you both go back to the civilized land of the French
  28. >With proof that the Grail has been find, your master convinces several soldiers to fortify the tower
  29. >Even the great Guy de Lombaird agrees to come and secure a nearby castle
  30. >The tower containing the Grail is a symbol of the divine right of France to rule the world
  31. >Serve master with pride
  32. >You make the tower the cleanest tower this side of the Channel
  33. >One day, he proposes marriage to you
  34. >Being that he found the Grail, he can break the bonds of class for you, his most devoted and loyal follower
  35. >You faint
  36. >A priest comes to the tower to perform the ceremony
  37. >Just before the wedding begins, some English k'niggets come riding up
  38. >Fabian goes to the wall to tell them to leave
  39. >You know his eloquent words will surely sway the knights to leave, so that the ceremony can continue
  40. >You hate the way the crude Briton language rolls off his perfect tongue
  41. >Finally after much yelling, they leave
  42. >You hold Fabian's hands in yours, as the priest pronounces you man and kikimora wife
  43. >FIN
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