A New Beginning - Part 3

Part 2: https://pastebin.com/9eNCCZxX

The snow has got a lot worse. I can’t even see the main gates from here.

I know weather forecasts are occasionally wrong, but this is ridiculous!

Somehow I have to find Emi and Rin in this would-be blizzard, but how?

And where?

Instinctively I make for the track first, knowing it would be far too obvious. Still, I have to try.

The gritted walkway is holding up a good fight against the constant barrage of snow, allowing me to head out at a brisk pace without much issue.

The track—or what I can see of it—is completely deserted. From the velvety white blankets covering every surface, I can tell no one has been here for a while.

It occurs to me that they went off towards the dorms! I’ll head there, and circle back to the main building.

Passing through the gardens, the frozen destruction caused by Misha and Yoshiro is quickly being covered over. I resort to calling out Emi and Rin’s names in the hopes of finding them as I approach the dorms.

“Emi!?!”

“Rin!?!”

“Yes?”

I make a beeline down path. Hoping that the voice came from this direction.

Luckily it did, I find a perplexed Rin sitting in front of the mural that she painted for her last festival.

“Why did you shout my name like that?”

“I needed to find you, all the others are inside looking around.”

“Why are they doing that?”

“To look for the proprietor who sent us that letter.”

"What do you mean, proprietor?"

"Isn't that what you said earlier?"

Rin tilts her head like a puppy, looking rather confused as she ponders my reply.

Rather than replying, she turns to the wall, gazing upon what remains of her mural.

Most of it has been weathered away, leaving the colours faded and patches completely missing.

She seems to be deep in thought while staring at her old work. I wonder what she's thinking.

Not that I can understand what Rin thinks most of the time anyway.

The majority of times I've talked to her before, I've been left with more questions than answers.

This time, she asks me first.

"Why do you think they left this here?"

"So future students can appreciate it? It's a brilliant piece."

"If that's the case, why leave it like this? Why not cover it to preserve it?"

I have no answer. I fumble around trying to think of something but nothing comes to mind.

Rin doesn't seem bothered that it's specifically her work that's been left to rot, I guess she would ask the question no matter who painted it.

She seems genuinely curious as to why it's been left to rot in the first place.

"You think it's been left to symbolise something?"

"What do you mean, Rin?"

"Symbolize something, like, the ravages of time or mortality"

Huh, I would never have thought of that.

I know Rin can have abstract thoughts, but why something this morbid?

"In what way?"

"No matter what you do, this is the inevitable result."

I know it is commonly considered that whatever someone thinks can be an indication of their mental and physical state.

Is something wrong with Rin to make her perceive her own work as something so morbid?

The mere thought sends a cold wave rushing down my spine, making me shiver. I decide to sit down next to her, standing here was feeling awkward.

"You okay, Rin?"

"You asked me that earlier. I said I was cold."

"Oh, I know. I'm just wondering whether you're feeling okay in yourself."

"Am I concerning you?"

"No. I mean... sort of."

Rin looks at me with a timid expression, have I worried her? I best clear the air before I make matters worse.

"It's just that you've seen your work like this and thought about things like life and death."

"So?"

"I just thought there was an underlying reason why you thought that."

Rin's expression sinks further, I think I'm on to something here, but now I see what it's doing to her, I'm not sure whether I should pursue the issue.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you, Rin. Don't worry about it."

"But you're worried. That makes me worried."

"Why does it?"

"Because I've made you worry, this is my fault."

"No it isn't."

"Isn't it? It feels like it is."

"Well, it isn't."

Rin looks down at the gritted slush surrounding her shoes, then at her mural, and eventually back at me.

"I'm lost, Hisao."

"In what way?"

"I don't know. I feel disconnected from myself."

"But, what about the rain?"

"This isn't rain. This is snow, it's different."

"Oh?"

"I can't understand or talk to people very well; after we graduated, I tried to understand people better."

"Well it shows, it's really good."

"But it isn't. I tried so hard with that, I lost my motivation to paint."

"Why?"

"Because art was my way of talking to people. I could always interact with brushes and pencils better than I could with people. Since then, I can't make any more art."

"So what have you been doing these past years?"

"Not much. I have tried to paint again, but I'm not happy with anything I make."

Now I see why she feels lost. She's changed more than I had thought.

I thought her being able to talk to people better was just a normal part of us developing as people, but I now understand that Rin has essentially forced herself to do it and in doing so, she's lost what made Rin, Rin.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Rin."

"It's fine. There's nothing you can do."

"I wish there was. Why did you want to understand people better?"

"I didn't."

"But, why did you do it?"

"Because my parents told me I needed to. Since I was growing up and one day I'll be on my own."

A very depressing thing to be told the moment you graduate.

"Ah. I take it, this is why you see this as a symbol of mortality?"

Rin closes her eyes and nods.

Now I think about it, I understand what she is talking about. I felt the same when I had my heart attack.

Which gives me an idea.

"You know what I think this symbolises, Rin?"

"No, I'm not a mind reader."

"Granted. But I think this represents something different. I think it represents us."

Rin stares at me, completely bewildered at my observation.

"When I came here, after my heart attack. I felt like this: faded, weathered, and pieces missing. But I moved forward, in a direction that I wanted to take."

"You've moved on?"

"I feel like I have. Over time, I started to feel like myself again; the missing pieces got filled in and my colours became bright again. I felt like I had started anew."

"That's different."

"But is it? When I met you, you seemed more comfortable in being yourself. But since you've been coerced down a path rather than choosing what path you walk, you don't seem comfortable."

She looks at me with a cold, stern manner. I can't tell whether she's mad or upset.

"For you to feel complete, you need to choose your path."

"But I need to understand people. They need to understand me."

"Your paintings did that perfectly. They spoke volumes for you, people only needed to appreciate your work to understand that you're communicating with them through it.

Understanding people is good, but being able to be yourself is more important. If you feel more comfortable communicating through your paintings, then do that. Be yourself, be Rin."

As I finish my speech, she looks vacantly at her mural once again before returning to me. I think I've overstepped the line here.

"I'm sorry for going off like that."

"No. Thank you, Hisao."

"What?"

"Thank you."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Well... I'm glad I could help."

Rin hesitates before leaning towards me.

"May I?"

"May you what?"

She doesn't reply, she simply leans over and rests her head on my shoulder. Her whole body is shivering from the cold but she's fighting it with all her might,

I start to feel at ease knowing that I haven't overly upset Rin; but this pathway is really cold and I can feel my bottom going numb. I get up and help Rin do the same.

She looks much happier now. This is the first time I've seen her smile all day.

"Here."

I take my coat off and offer to help her put it on.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you'll catch a cold as you are. Anyway, let's head in and get you warmed up."

We head back to the main building in silence and enter the main lobby again.

Shit! I forgot about Emi!

"Rin, do you know where Emi is?"

"Emi is here?"

I guess Rin was lost in her own world longer than I thought.

"Well, yes. That's why I was calling out her name as well as yours."

"I only heard mine."

"OK. Wait here, the others should return soon."

"Don't you want your coat back?"

Rin says while holding her arms up, looking like red-haired penguin.

"It’s fine, suits you better than it suits me."

Drawing a deep breath to stop my lungs from freezing, I head back out again.

Part 4: https://pastebin.com/aGX5zKxn