[M4M] The Wild and the Audible

[M4M] The Wild and the Audible [short] [dirty] [soap opera] [humor] [cheating] [affairs] [SCANDAL] [with the Pool Guy!] [dp] [incest?]

Having fled from a funeral fraught with scandal and surprise, you return home early only to find your own drama—your fiancé in bed with another man!

Notes: Unzipping pants and applying a condom and lube are only mentioned for immersion and are not needed. Apply some dramatic soap opera music for added kicks. Text in parentheses should be read as mutterings.

Edit and revise this script as you like.


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You’ll never believe why I left the funeral so early. Turns out, the CEO wasn’t dead after all! Then a fight broke out and—What’s going on here? Is that…Greg the pool guy!? [gasp] How long has this been going on?!

No. I don’t even want to HEAR it. I should have known, ever since I saw you staring at him from our bedroom window while he was digging up our pool that summer afternoon…

Okay yeah, I WAS the one who called you over to watch him with me, but—You shut that beautiful whore mouth of yours, Greg! I want to talk to my EX-fiancé here, not some muscular HOMEWRECKER!

[back to your fiancé] The difference is that I’m not the one actually in bed with him, doing the things I only SAID I’d do!

[Your fiancé suggests you fuck Greg too to get even.]

[hesitant] What? No, that’s…That’s not gonna work. Me fucking him doesn’t “balance” anything. We have to talk about it and…Yeah, he is really hot but… [internal struggle before guiltily acquiescing] Fine! *Move over. [undressing] But I call his ass. I want to see just YOUR face while we talk this through. Greg, hand me a condom and the lube there.

[condom and lube sfx]

Lift that ass up a bit.

[you penetrate him]

Yeah, just like that...

[Intermittently grunt hereafter to indicate your fucking Greg while talking to your fiancé]

I can’t believe you’d do this. Don’t you have any sense of loyalty?!

[Fiancé: You had an affair for three months in Iceland, remember?]

Ohhh THIS again. I TOLD you I got amnesia after that helicopter crashed in Iceland. I even had a [do some weird accent] “new accent” that was, like, European or something (no racist). That wasn’t me; that doesn't count!

[Greg gives you a judging look]

[dismissively] Turn around, Greg.

Besides, I came back, didn’t I? After Brimir dropped me during one of our…[muttering] (several) love-makings, I came back for you!

[Fiancé: You finished having sex with him before you came home!]

He was an Icelandic STRONGMAN. I couldn’t say no—His arms were bigger than my head! And it would’ve been rude to just LEAVE him with his… stöng already up...

[Greg: Dafuq, man?]

[dismissively] Just suck the cock, Greg. That’s what you’re here for.

Is THAT what this is about, huh?! Iceland?

[Fiancé: No…it’s because you’ll bottom for Brimir but not me. But also because Greg is just really hot.]

Oh, babe, you should’ve just said so! Yes, we can do that. I’m so sorry. Any kink for you!

[you both make up]

[sappy] I love you too! [kisses]

[fuck to climax]

[breathe back down]

Greg, I want to thank you for helping me and my FIANCE get through this together. Today you’ve helped prove to us how strong a love can be and just how perfect we are for each other. I think I speak for both of us when I say that nothing has so…”connected” us like you have, which is why we can’t think of anyone more appropriate to ask this:

Would you be…our ring-bearer? Hey, that’s funny. I have the same birthmark…

[dramatic soap opera outro]