Thread 39: Stories 31-45

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>Pinkie
"Security"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~???~
~~~~

*CHRRRKKKK!*

>Oh! S'cuse me girls, we'll go back to singing in a moment, gotta do official partyland business!

Walking over to a lamp pole, she opened a hidden compartment to reveal a speaker and a tiny microphone with it.

>Thiiiis is Pinkie o' pie! Your head of all things party tastic! What's up?

"Uh, boss? Did you... order a spinning unicorn?"

>Could you be more specific? I order lots of performers.

"Okay, it's a unicorn, that spins..."

>Uh huuhhh...

"...On it's horn."

'RABLRBLARBLALARGLPLPLPLPLPLP!'

"...Making weird noises."

>...NOPE! Didn't order one of those.

"Oh, well, that's a shame, was hoping you could tell me who they were, all I see is a little tornado. So then I'm guessing you also didn't order the tye dye rapping zebra?"

[YOU SUCKERS BETTER MAKE THOSE HOOVES ROCK, UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOUR PIGGA NOSES A POP! Word to yo' mama!]

>I did not.

"Aaand, the pink haired one with the strobe lights and the star on her eye, nothing?"

{EMMMMM IS TRUUUULY OUTRAGEOUS! TRULY TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEEEOUGH! DOUBLE M IS TRULY OUTAGEOUS! DOUBLE M IS MY NAME NO ONE ELSE IS THE SAME!}

>No, but see if you can get her number, that's a nice singing voice!

{Annnnd, the dragon griffon danging in the flowers?}

~People let me tell you bout my beeeeest frieeeends! They're such waarm hearted ponies who love me till the end!~

>...The what now?

"Top half is a dragon, bottom half is a griffon."

>...Can you get HIS number?

"Fraid not. Got a lot of flowers, though."

>Can you handle it?

"I'll... try?"

>Ah. Well, keep me posted?

"Can do. Miss? Could you put down the-"

*FWOOOOSH!*

"FIRE! SHE IS SPITTING FIRE OUT OF HER MOUTH!"

{I TOLD YOU PIGGAS YOU GON' GET POPPED! MC ZE-TAN CAN'T BE STOPPED! PREACH IT!}

"LOOK OUT!"

'RBABABALABLBLBALABABABLBLRBABL!'

"LIKE A TORNADO OF HATE!"

And that's when the line went dead.

>...They're probably fine.
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NC
>???
"???"
~~~~

>GAAAASSSPPPPPP!

"Really? Just gonna say gasp?"

>HOLY SHIT, MISTY! It's a wild Hitmontop!

"Ash, we said we were coming here for fun-"

>POKEBALL, GO-... OH SHITIT'SCOMINGBACK-

*SMACK!*

"...You okay?"

>Glurgl!

"...This is why we don't date in the show.."
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>JJ
“Act”
(JJ whispering)
{Actwhispering}
~~~~~

“You know, we should sing!”

>You sure? I don't know many songs.

“Dude, it's Karaoke! They put the words on the little screen and you sing along with it.”

>Really? Then why do they mess up so many words?

“Uh... good question. But who cares! Come on, there's got to be one for friends up there.”

>Well, sure. It would be nice to take my mind off things.

“That's the spirit!”

They both hopped on stage, and started looking through the selector.

>Let me tell you bout my best friend?

“Overdone.”

>My Best Friend?

“Already taken.”

>Together forever?

“I can't sing that high.”

>Huh... oh! Here we go, Dear My Friend!

“Haven't heard of that one... well, if it's about friends... hit it!”

And thus, a strangely low melody began to play. Deciding to roll with it, Actarius stepped forward.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXi0GpOSArw

“Good times and bad times, I can count on being with you. I thank you for staying so truuuue”
{See? Told you it was about friends.}
>My life will go on a long time, have to catch up when I see you, and You are my reason I can make it through
(Wow, great pick! I do live a long time!)
“I will give my word that I will come in time to rescue~ My heart will always be with youuu”
(Wow!)
{It's like the song just knows...}
>I'm so glad I met you being with me wherever. We're made for each other forever.
(Heh! Cause you like juggling, and I like to juggle!)
{Perfect fit!}
“I know life can be tough on you time and time again, laughter maybe gone away”
(Oof, I know that feeling.)
{Yeah, you would...}

>I will wipe away my tears to-morrow. Life must go on, that's the reason that you travel away
{Ahh, you know I'd never leave you!}
(Oh, yeah, I know..)
“I will be there if you need me.And I know you'll do the same”
{See? Even the song agrees!}
>I can see you, I can hear you in my heart. You will be here if I need you.
(Literally on both counts, because changeling and it happened, respectively!)
“I will never have to guess, cause we are very special friends”
{Really special friends!}
(The specialist!)

>So send me a letter, let me know how you're doing.
(Huh. Even knew you used to send me letters. Neat!)
{Told you it was a great pick!}
“You are my lifetime and true friend. We'll never be forgotten.
{Kind of hard to forget someone like you.}
(Thanks?)
>Having trust is all we may need.You are always with me in the life I lead.
(Which is juggling, mostly.)
“So far, far away from life I used to know. Worries are too far, too.”
{Understatement of the century}
>I will stop and close my eyes, remember. And at the rainbow I can take you, I will catch it for you
{Well, I DO really like rainbows.}
(Me too!... Though I don't know why...)

“Just like a river that flows. Just like stars in the dark night”
(Is that a comment on me being black?)
{...I don't know...}
>Lead me in the storm, lead me in the dark, you are the light of my life
{Is that a comment on me being white?}
(Yeah, that makes sense.)
“I will be there if you need me. And I know you'll do the same”
(Fair warning, I will at least scream like a little filly if you get abducted by the Queen.)
{Fair enough.}
>I can see you, I can hear you in my heart. You will be here if I need you
(Seriously. Changeling. I can hear stuff with my heart. It's awesome.)
“I will never have to guess...”
(Together now!)
>”Cause we are very special friends”

>Memories you can recall, with me any time of day
{Mind like a steel vault!}
“You can reach out, you can ask me in your soul.”
(WITH my soul, I can ask you WITH my soul, because Changeling.)
>I will answer when you call me, I will come no matter how
{Awww...}
(And I mean it.)
>”Cause we are very special friends...”

They hooked their forelegs over the others shoulders and took a bow, but strangely only got awkward, strained applause in response.

>Huh. Guess we weren't that good?

"I thought we did okay..."

Awkwardly, they hopped off stage, almost apologetic.

Meanwhile, the audience just... stared.

>Told you we should've done Together Forever.
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>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Cadence'
[18]
~~~

>...Huh...

"Chrysalis? You know the guy, is he..."

>I really don't know him. But you know that guy, right? Is he...

"I.. I don't know..."

'BULLSHIT! I WAS ROBBED!'

[He said "He's not my coltfriend", he's not his coltfriend.]

'ROOKERY!'
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>AJ
"Rar"
'Dash'
[Pinkie]
{Twilight}
~Fluttershy~
-Spike-
~~~

>....

"Oh, what, don't you all find them just adorable!?"

'Meh, their voices weren't so great.'

[...]

'...What? His high notes were pretty bad, and that changeling was, like, super squeaky sometimes. Really strained, you know? I just didn't feel like he was relaxed enough.'

{I thought they were okay...}

[Well, maybe you and Shiny could do better, Twilight?]

{Well, obviously, but it's not a competition! I'm not going to show them up just to brag about it, it's all about personal fun. Who cares about how good or bad others are at it? So long as you fully enjoy yourself and are satisfied at the end, that's all that should matter... me and Shiny know that.}

[SNK!]

~...I ship it....~

-What was that?-

~NOTHING!~

-...Where did you get those dolls?-

~NOWHERE!~

-Annnd, are those dolls moving?-

~NO THEY ARE NOT!~

-...-

~...STARE!~

-ACK! NO! MAKE IT STOOOOOP!-

"What on earth are they doing?"

>Ah'm just pretendin' Ah' don't notice.

-HELLLLP-
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>Security Guard 1
"2"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~???~
~~~

>So, uh... should we call the boss to fight them or something?

"Isn't that our job?"

>Yeah, but you know what? I don't think the orientation packet prepared me for a blueish greenish whitesh reddish purplish hurricane making babbling noises.

"...Ehhh, got a point, mine only mentioned either pink ones or rainbow ones."

>Totally unprepared.

'RBABBRLABBBALBRPLPLPLPLPLLLPPPPP!'

>She took out at least four of Trotters teeth...

"Plus, just throwing this out there, I'm pretty sure hitting that one is a hate crime."

[YA'LL ZIGGAS DON'T EVEN KNOW! LINE YOU ASSES UP CAUSE AH'M BOUT TO BLOW!]

"...Somehow..."

>At least that one isn't hurting anyone.

{Glamor and glitter, fashion and fame! OOOOOIHHHH EMMMM IS TRULY OUTRAGEOUS!}

"Except the art of music and or marketing, and also maybe animation... for some reason"

>Meant the... did the dragon part just become an eel?

~Dancing in the moonlight! Everybodie's dancing in the moooooonliiiiight!~

>...We are not paid enough for this shit.

"You? I got turned into a clown yesterday..."

>Yeah, you think this is related to that?

"I hope not, or else we're..."

>...No fucking way....

"No... no fucking way did they disappear in the two seconds we spent looking at each other..."

>And we now have a rapping zebra, hurricane top unicorn, a washed up diva and an abomination against nature running around..."

"..."

>...

"...We are so fired..."
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So while I'm working on this goddamned ridiculously difficult to write for some reason Pommel update, something came into my head for a point in the future when this arc finally ends and Pommel becomes captain. It's a speech from himself to the named guards we have.

"There are those among you who look at me and think that I'm some kind of hero. That I'm a conquering bad ass like something out of a movie or a comic book just because my of the things I had to do to get home. I am not a hero, I'm a guard, I've always been a guard, and I'll always be a guard until the day my luck runs out. A hero is a person that goes above and beyond expectations to right a wrong, defend his people, prevent a catastrophe, a hero is a cut above the rest. We are not heroes, we are guards."

"But, what is the norm for a guard? I look around me and I see faces I've known for some time, and you probably think of yourselves like I think of myself, we're average, we're generic, and we aren't important. But I've read the files-I mean, Faust, the captain's office? SEA of paperwork and reports- and in this room stand some of the bravest ponies I've ever seen. Ponies who drink a bottle of liquid lightning just so we can understand what it is, ponies that spent a night manning paintball guns to protect the Princess' cake, ponies that massacre possessed plushies over a dress, and ponies that face down a changeling Queen for the sake of someone they care about."

"Yeah, we're generic, we're average, in a lot of cases you can't tell a lot of us apart, but we have it in us to do great things. And we will do those great things...and the ponies of Equestria will shrug, and nod, and maybe even throw out a thank you every now and then. Because we won't be heroes, we won't be going above the call of duty. We will be the Royal Guard of Equestria, and we'll be doing exactly what we're supposed to do."
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>Steam Gauge
"Changelings"
'Quicksilver Sash'
~~~

>I'm warning you! Go out there and help with the defense against the plushies!

"...Does he think we're stupid?"

"Really. I mean, I cannot even wrap my head around how dumb he has to think we are to even attempt that."

"Just insulting, really."

'...Wait, what?'

"What? Do you really think we don't know you guys brought those things to life?"

"Really. I mean, really. REALLY!? It's just... it's SOOO DUMB!"

>We did not!

"No, yeah, a whole horde of plushies just so happened to coincidentally arrive after you found out we totally spoofed you. Really. This happened."

"And, wow! Sure is a lot of others asking us to help!"

"As if there was something we, personally, would cause to happen if we should fight it?"

"And hey, what a coincidence! They're not attacking us!"

'THEY THINK YOU'RE ON THEIR SIDE! You guys look like their leader!'

"Uh huh, suuuuuree... NOM!"

>STOP EATING THAT CAKE!

"Why? We won the contest! It's ours!"

>What contest!?

"Hey, don't pull that now. We played king of the hill and won through subterfuge tactics, don't be more bitter because you lost!"

'What the hell made you think that!?'

"The guy who told us."

'WHO!?'

"...I have no idea."

"You all look exactly the same."

>RACIST!

"Look, you got your paintball guns setup, you gave it your best shot, but in the end it just did not work. Sorry, you lost the contest."

'There was no contest! These were just the Princesses cakes, which we were supposed to be protecting from YOU!'

"...HAH! Good one, almost..."

'...'
>...

"...W-well, he can't be serious, right? That guard said... said that..."

"...Okay, raise your hoof if you are just suddenly noticing that several of these are sectioned off, as if they were to go to multiple... princesses..."

"...Aaaannndd... one of these says "For Applejack" on it..."

"...W-what are the odds they're talking about one of us?"

>...
'...'
""""".....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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>Babs
"???"
~~~

>Hey, guys? Are you all around here? I came by for a visit, but there isn't anybody...

"MISS! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE! THEY'RE EVERYWHEEEERRRRE!"

She just... stared at the guard. No response, no twitch of a lip, just stared.

*SQUEAKASQUEEEE!*

Then she turned around, and walked away.

>Nope.

"WAIT! I MEANT HELP BUT BE HEROIC ABOUT... DAMN IT!"

*Squeak!*

"Sorry, sorry... I know, language-PUT DOWN THE SOAP-UMF!"
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>Pinkie
"IR"
'CQ'
~~~~

>Hope those don't have too much trouble...

"Daughter."

>DADDY! Are you and mom going to sing?

'No.'

"That would be ridiculous."

>Awww.

"We simply wished to inform you before we turned in for the night."

>Oh, okay. Yeah, parties almost over anyway, they're all probably going to start heading in too.

"And also, we wished to tell you... we are proud."

'We feel we do not say this enough sometimes.'

"It can be hard, we understand, to run a business like this. More so when your parents challenge others for honor's sake."

'But we wish you to know that, won or lost, we are still proud of you. You have made a fine place for fun here, it is very enjoyable.'

>Aww.... you guyyyyyss...

"Looking like a strong leader is important, Pinkamena."

'...But a hug or two would probably not change your reputation too much.'

>EEEE!

Instantly, she was squeezing the life out of them.

"We are going to retire, but will see you more in the morning."

'Oh, and before we go, you are in luck.'

>Huh?

"Oh, yes."

They turned their back on her, already walking away.

'Your sister, Maud, likes that Shining Armor fellow too. We were worried, she had not got a chance to meet him yet.'

"It is good to hear, you do not want to know what he said of that other one."

>...Other one? Did... Did Maud say something about Cheesy?

'...'
"..."

>Guys? GUYS!? DID MAUD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT... WHAT DID SHE SAY!? MOMMY!? DADDY!? COME OONNNNN! YOU CAN'T JUST...

And just like that, they walked away.

>...BAD DADDY AND MOMMY!

Slowly, she sighed, and looked up.

>This is revenge for the jokes about Twilight and Shiny, isn't it?

The stars, being stars, did not answer.

They just... twinkled.

Just a bit.
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>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Cadence'
[18]
{42}
(Mane-iac)
~Pondexter~
-2-
~~~~~~~

>Wooo, I don't know about you guys but I am bushed. Feels like today dragged on for WEEKS

"Drama Queen."

'She is right that today was pretty.... 'full', I guess.'

[Mostly full of near deaths and serious moments.]

{Unless you want to count the entirety of the latter half, which was comedy conflicts.}

(AHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!...What comedy? Those battles were as INTENSE and STRONG as any I have fought!)

{See?}

(...I'm confused.)

-S'okay, happens ta' me all the time.-

~Probably better if you didn't know, I guess.~

>So, what're we doing tomorrow?

"I haven't really thought about it."

[...HEY!]

'Crackers.'

"What? What's... oh, right."

~Right? What's right? Lost here.~

[You still owe me a ride!]

~What?~

>Cadence made a bet with 18, she lost, now Shiny has to go down the tunnel of love.

~...Cadence, no. I mean, I'm sure some guys would be thrilled, but Shiny seems like-~

'NOT LIKE THAT!'

"Don't worry, we all had the same reaction. The actual one. As in, the physical ride."

[We were supposed to go today, but SOMEONE decided to skip out on me!]

"Extenuating circumstances. Involving a game show. From which I won a toaster."

'It's a nice toaster.'

[Just saying, no skimping out tomorrow!]

"I only promise this if Cadence promises not to vanish in the night and meet up with strange mares again."

~...I uh... what?~

[WHAT!?]

>Come again?

'Screw you guys, she was nice!... Sort of! She was a little grumpy, yeah, but on the whole she was a pretty nice pony!'

{Baloney, she was as hard as a rock.}

-Like a giant anti-marchmalley!-

>...Huh.. it's like, an crowd of possible innuendo I could fling out just crashed headfirst into the doorway in my brain, and none can get out... this is odd...

(I do not know what that means, but I am sorry! AHAHAHH!)

>I feel your sorrow, really.

'...OH YOU GUYS! Not like that!'

[Did it really just hit you?]

>Well, maybe if she's spend more time with Shiny, it would register faster. Have to warm up the old machine a bit first when it goes unused for so long.... theeeere it goes.

'NNNGH! PLPLPLPLP!'

"Cadence, bad influence."

-PLPLPLPLPLP!-

"See?"

'Let's just... let's just eat some dinner and all go to bed.'

>Oh, Caddy, I didn't know you missed me so much!

'NOT YOU!'

[Well, I certainly won't object-]

'NOT YOU EITHER!'

(AHAHAHAHHA! I don't know what we're talking about, but can I-)

'NO! YOU CHOKE!'

{...}

'NOT YOU EITHER!... No offense, I would, but if I let you in I have to let them in. Fair's fair.'

{R-right... Do not feel regret for me, I am perfectly alright.}

'Great!...'

~...The heck you looking at me for?~

>Aww, come on, can I-

'NO! Nobody gets to go into bed unless you are related via marriage or adoption!'

[Hey, that's not fair, that just narrows it down to Two or Twilight.]

'Then guess what? Two. And. Twilight.'

>So what you're saying is, if I wanted to get in there and snuggle Shiny, I couldn't. But if Twilight came up to you and said she wanted to snuggle against her brother, she could?

'EXACTLY!'

[So I couldn't slip under the covers next to Shiny and grab him, but Twilight could.]

'NOW YOU GOT IT!'

>What if you left the bed?

'STILL JUST THEM!'

[What if you left the bed and took Two with you?]

'STILL. JUST. THEM!'

>Just Twi and Shiny in the bed?

'JUST THEM!'

[For snuggles.]

'AS MUCH AS THEY WANT!'

>As long as they want?

'ALL NIGHT LONG, IF THEY WANT IT!'

[Oof, aren't you worried he won't as up to snuggle with you later?]

'He can handle it! Shiny could snuggle me, Twi, you, you, and YOU if he wanted to no problem! But you know what? He can only do it with Twi! NOT! YOOOOU!'

>...
[...]

>[PPFFTTTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!]

'WHHHHAT!?'

-I'm confused....-
(Me too...)
"Don't feel bad, I'm totally lost too..."

{...S-should... should we tell them?...}
~...~
{...Your uh, your nose is-}
~Shu uh...~

>[AHAHAHAH!]

'YOU SUCK!'
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>PJ
“???”
‘???’
[Blueblood]
{???}
~~~~~

Her nose twitched, in the same frame of time as when she ducked a bear plushie, one that came flying at her with a butcher knife in paw.

That familiar scent….

She didn’t waste a second and instantly bisected the bear plush with a spinning flourish, puffs of cotton flying through the air.

>Bluey!

The royal stallion was knee-deep in toys but holding his own.

[WHAT?]

>Handle things here, I have to go check on something!

[LIKE WHAT?]

He back-kicked a toy in her direction and it met a savage end at the tip of her blade.

>Just a hunch! You got this?

[YOU’RE RUNNING OFF ON A HUNCH? ARE YOU M-]

>DO YOU HAVE THIS?!

It was the timber of her sudden yell that compelled Blueblood to give a reluctant nod, one that she returned as she took off through a door on the left, all four legs pumping.

Up a flight of stairs…

Down a hallway…

Chaos reigned everywhere… the goofy kind that only guards fighting plushies with all their valor could bring, the kind that Discord would probably revel in.

The sudden sounds of muffled barking snapped her back to the present and PotatoJack took the next corner to see her target wrestling a Chitania action figure.

“CEASE YOUR HOSTILE TAKEOVER THIS INSTANT! THIS IS MY ORANGE MARES HOME NOT YOURS!”

‘CRUSH… BZZT! THE… CASTLE!’

“NEVER!”

>Well now....

PJ stood off to the side, observing, slowly rotating one of her blades as she waited… and waited… watching the pair roll and tumble, shifting whichever direction they shifted.

Not yet.

Noooot yet….

Just a biiiiiit-

She pounced like a shadow. But what stunned her wasn’t when Dolltania kicked out at Winona, creating a space between them, but when it whirled around to face her, throwing up a forehoof to the blade she brought down.

It clanged off whatever alloy the doll happened to be made of and the two of them skidded in reverse with PJ looking somewhat impressed.

>Huh. That’s… odd.

A rapid blitz of barks broke the silence, what little there was in this bedlam.

“You! Swiss cheese creature! I know you can’t understand me but help me to defeat this foul-”

>I can understand you just fine, and my name is PotatoJack, or just PJ.

“Wuh…?”

‘I’M GONNA SMASH IT!’

>Yeah, yeah, okay, just a minute.

And PJ scooped the bewildered dog up by her collar, ignoring her surprised yelp to take a few inquisitive sniffs.

Yup. There it was, that scent. No mistaking it.

>Your AppleJack Prime’s dog, aren’t you?

“How rude! I am the orange one’s best friend! She takes care of me and tosses the stick of wonder in exchange for snuggles!”

>…So her dog.

“MY NAME IS WINONA!”

>Noted.

‘CRUUUUSH!’

Not one to take being ignored, Dolltania began to slowly, ominously paw the ground with her hoof, scraping it, causing sparks.

>Just a second, damn. You deaf or something?

“How can you speak to me like this? Understand me?”

>Hm? Oh, well… you pick up a few things when you live my life, when the forest becomes your home and the animals there your only company.

“Intriguing! So we will tackle this abomination together then?”

PJ smirked, glancing over to Dolltania.

>Sure, but I think he has first dibs.

“Who?”

From the darkness born of a risen moon came a stampeding stallion, his hooves pounding like drums. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Dolltania turned its head towards him just in time to catch a hoof to the face with a sickening crunch.

PJ felt her mane fly about as the action figure corkscrewed past and right into the wall with an explosion of debris.

>Him.

{HAYMAKER BITCH! OH YEAH RIGHT IN THE JAW, RIGHT IN THE FUCKING JAW! LET’S SEE YOU GET UP AFTER THAT!}

“That… that was excellent! Well done, good sir!”

Caught up in doing a little victory jig, Haymaker eyed the excitedly yapping canine.

{…What’s a dog going here, Spud?}

“WHY IS EVERYONE SO RUDE?”

>Applejack Prime’s dog.

“IT’S WINONA DANG YOU!”

{Oh. Neat. Anyway, did you see that? Just out of nowhere- BLAM, right in the face! See, THAT’S how you plan, you give off false signals and then strike in the element of surpri- WHOA!}

From the rolling smog came a pony-sized boulder, one that would’ve outright smashed Haymaker down to the width of a quarter if PJ hadn’t yanked him to the side.

Three pairs of eyes found the figure slowly stepping out of the debris, a figure that now had pupils of a twinkling red. A figure that was once again pawing at the ground.

A figure that now had a rather large crack spider-webbing over its cheek.

‘Cruuuu- BZZT… killllll.’

“…This is not good.”

{That’s… impossible. I hit it full-on!}

With a twirling motion, PJ took her blade in a steady hoof and held it horizontally.

>You know what I’m wondering? What in the hell are they making toys out of nowadays?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Guard
"Random Changeling"
~~~~~

"Okay, so, recap for those not in the know. We are discussing this and this is how it is..."

>...

"..Do NOT, I repeat to all present, do NOT shoot them with lasers."

At that point, another changeling raced by, screaming in agony as a giant flaming plushie clung to his head.

>...

"I just wanted to make that clear. They will catch on fire... and then grab you."

>Uh... are you going to come down from the cieling?

"Flight is one of the few biolgical advantages I have left, don't try to take this from me!"

>What if some of them learn how to fly?

"That's stupid, how would they learn how to..."

About that point, a plushie tied to a balloon wafted in... followed by a bunch of others.

"...well... fuck you too."

How they moved forward, he had no idea.

But he had not time to worry about that anymore, let's just say.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Celestia
"Luna"
'56
[Dadling]
{Batmom}
~~~~

>Luna! I have been looking all over for you, quite the performance.

"Thank thee, we had quite a bit of fun."

>Not too much, I hope. Chrysalis would be quite irate.

"SISTER! Cease your mockery!"

>There is no mockery there, she would react badly. I am not joking. Said something about ten years minimum before she would consider no fireballs.

"..."

>...I'm not joking.

'Wait wait wait, what're we talking about?'

"NOTHING!"

'Gotcha!'

[Hey, speaking of, she ever mention me? Like, at all?]

*SMACK!*

[OW!]

{Do not bother the princesses with inane questions!}

>It's fine. Actually, yes, she mentioned you once. Asked if you were alive.

[And?]

>I told her you were.

[...Annnnd?]

>She said 'okay' and walked off.

[...Huh...]

"Well, what dost thou wish her to do?"

[I dunno, guess I was kind of being silly, but I was hoping she'd congratulate me?... Maybe give some info?]

{It was pretty cold not even to send a card or something.}

"Hrmph, we're not surprised."

>Perhaps she just does not wish to enforce herself on the matter? She is awfully lenient with how far you all may travel and to where.

[I guess...]

'BULLDOODY! She makes me go to school every time! I tried to tell her 'someone shoots me with a rocket launcher', but she just said 'well, shoot them back'! AND I CAN AFFORD IT, SUNBUTT! THEY'RE SO EXPENSIVE!'

{Uh, can't you shoot lasers or something?}

'...Ohhhh riiiiiight, THAT'S what she meant!... Huh, guess this is why she keeps making me go to school...'

>I suppose?

"...What were we talking about?"

>The fact this carnival food is ruining your diet.

"SISTER!... STOP BEING RIGHT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

>No.

"UGGHHH!"

>But seriously, if Chrysalis does not wish to comment on the matter of your soon to be spawn, that is her choice.

[I guess...]

>Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll go spend dinner with some friends... and watch the chaos unfold...

"...Please stop smiling like that."

>No.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
“Chrysalis”
'Cadence'
[18]
{42}
~Celestia~
^2^
(Mane-iac)
=Poindexter=
~~~~~

>Okay, so, we're just a little scrunched-

“Hey, what do you know, they don't normally make tables for eight with three of them being plus sized, or extra plus sized in Maney's case.”

'Speaking of, watch the-WOO! Hey! Watch where those go!'

(AHAHAHAHAHAHH... Sorry! They have a mind of their own, maybe! Dunno if that still happened or not!)

'Uh.... huh.'

>ANYWAY!... I just wanted to say that while we are just a bit scrunched, we are nonetheless going to try to have a pleasant, easy, relaxing dinner.

~Keep deluding yourself.~

[Are you okay in there, by the way?]

>I am perfectly fine.

{Really. Because it looks like Chrysalis and Celestia are crushing you.}

>I have dealt with worse.

'You wouldn't have to if Chrysalis would just switch!'

“I called dibs on this spot.”

'YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH A TENNIS BALL SO I COULDN'T!'

“Tomato, tosmacko...”

>It's fine, let's just deal with it.

[That won't do. POINDEXTER! SWITCH!]

“...”

=...I'm good...=

[42?]

{I need to be next to Two, who needs to be next to Cadence, who would normally be by Shining Armor, but is instead is next to Her Majesty. I would prefer if you switched with her Highness, since that way I could be next to her for safety sake.}

“Not happening.”

{So, here we are.}

>Let's just order already!

“...”
'…'
[…]
{…}
~...~
=...=
(…)
^...This menus funny.^

“Yeah, it is kind of weird, isn't it? Like... Snapper Tackers?”

'I don't even know what this stuff is supposed to be... Flooper Floppers?'

{Munchy moppers?}

[Popsy Stoppers?]

=Crunchy Cricklers?=

“HEY!”

=CrickLERS.=

“Oh... heh, was about to shoot you.”

(AHAHAH! ISN'T IT OOOOOOOBVIOUS!?)

>...No?

^C'mon, Shiny! It's easy! The Snapper Tackers are crackers that get caramel poured on 'em, the Flooper Floppers are pancakes, Munchy Moppers are those little cotton candy balls with jawbreaker centers, Popsy Stoppers are rock candy, and Crunchy Cricklers are balls of hay covered in dried peanut butter!^

(What she said!)

>...
'…'
[…]
{…}
~...~
=...This is all starting to make sense, and that scares me.=

“My menu doesn't have those last few things.”

~Oh? Let me see.~

>H-hey now, wait a minute-

~Oh hey! Your menu has a cake menu slip!?~

“Huh. Guess it does. Little slip juuust for cakes.”

~Gimme!~

>GLK!

“Get your own!”

~That's what I'm trying to do!~

“Don't grab!”

>L-ladies please-HLK!

“Don't climb!”

~I'm climbing!~

“Well, it's mine, you can't have-GIVE THAT BACK!”

~NEVAH!~

'Uh, guys? You're kind of... sitting on top of Shiny... guys?'

[...Whelp, he's gonna die. Smothered by massive plots.]

=I can think of worse ways to go.=

{It will make for an interesting obituary.}

>N-noooo...

“GIMME BACK!”

~NNNNGGHHHH!~

Slowly, they one white hoof poking up from underneath them stopped struggling, and began to sink lower... and lower... and lower...

Until there was no sign left of the Crystal Prince, only two royals, fighting over a slip of paper.

(...On the positive side, I found the weakness of LUMINOUS SHIELD!)

And they all laughed.

Except Shiny.

He was probably mostly dead.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________