Lincoln keeps a journal

>Lincoln was sound asleep.
>A thief in the night slunk through the house, unseen as she entered his room.
>The quarry was underneath Lincoln's head.
>Child's play for the progeny of the mother moon herself.
>Slipping the item from underneath the pillow, the thief faded from the room like a phantom.
>And no one could have seen it coming.
>Lucy came out of the vents into the dining room.
>"Do you have the thing, Lucy?" Lynn asked, with all of the sisters gathered around her.
>Lucy produced the blue journal, holding it up as though it were worth millions.
>"Ooh, it's totes like that national pleasure movie I saw last week!"
>"I wonder what's in it?"
>"Just open it before I literally die of boredom."
>Lori took the book from Lucy and opened it to a random page.
>"Lola isn't good at reading, so don't use words that are too big around her."
>Lola began to burn a raging red.
>"Leni is allergic to, uh, something I literally can't say."
>"Selachocranides," Lisa interjected.
>"Yeah, whatever. Leni is allergic to that stuff, so don't let her eat the red yogurt in the fridge."
>"I was wondering why Lincoln took that bowl of yogurt away from me, but he was totes just looking out for me!"
>"Mom's birthday is next week. Don't buy Unusual Stories at the store, instead save allowance for her gift."
>"Awwww," exhaled Luna.
>"Lucy really likes Citruscranium candy. Buy her some in exchange for doing the dishes."
>"It would seem the main fraternal unit has been keeping a close eye on us in this journal".
>"I'm, like, so touched."
>"Hey, why wasn't my name in there?"
>Because you're too dirty and ugly, Lana."
>"I am not! I am the best mud fighter in the entire school!"
SSSHHHHH!
>Every sister froze in place.
>Lincoln, droopy-eyed and exhausted, needed a glass of water.
>If only his sisters weren't so loud!
>The boy lumbered past, snatching his journal from Lori's hands and heading to the kitchen.
>"Hey, Lion-o! Thanks for, like, totes saving my life earlier!"
>Lincoln muttered something between a groan and a yawn before heading back to his closet.
>"So... anyone up for a game of Monopoly?"
>"As Princess of the Louds, I think we should play Chess."
>"Chess is two-player, stupid."