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Jul 23rd, 2023
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  1. Cassiopeia:- #1 Kazakhstan Medic player under the age of 11. This young boy uses a voice changer to get more attention from his peers. Born to the world renowned AWPER kennyS he was brought up to be a CSGO prodigy, however after his dad found out about him playing Medic in TF2 he was exiled from their once loving family home. Now playing Medic out of a public toilet in Kazakhstan he dreams of the day he can gain €100 for winning prem to prove his dad wrong.
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  3. Harmless Potato:- Harmless potato...if I could describe this player I'd use all pretty adjectives that would tell you more about him more than me: homeless, careless and hopeless..potato? Actually why a Jewish person would define himself as a potato? No one knows. But what we know for sure is that Harmless Potato totally has weird kinks like to be kicked...(yes in both ways). We are trying to make him a better potatobeing and less masochistic, but it is on progress. Wouldn't be a surprise if you watch him piping himself in the game as he there is nothing he desires more than being kicked. Steadily and surely he is reaching to the point when all of the team will vote him out, but for now he is staying with us as small potato brain cutiepie
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  5. Bawner:- Probably just woke up and probably wont be awake for long. This robot wakes up precisely on time to hit some ‘fatty’ airshots then goes back into his deep slumber. His creator died before they could install a storage device larger then 500Mb so be prepared to hear the words “I can’t even remember what happened last round.”
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  7. tev:- As a young child, Teverson would struggle to sleep at night. His mother, worried about Teversons sleeping issues decided to read children’s books to help him sleep. His father however, unhappy with the ‘false’, happy message these books would preach tore it out of his loving wife’s hands and replaced it with a book befitting this cruel world. From that day forward his mother exclusively read the works of Friedrich Nietzsche. Teverson learnt at a young age just how cruel the world is and how powerless he is to change it; however, he still felt some good surely could be found somewhere in this cruel world. Unfortunately, this all changed when his dad never returned from a trip to a cave in Poland.
  8. Teverson loving his father ventured to find his lost parent and dove into the same cave his father went missing in. After spending 3 days in the Polish cave, he could no longer find his way out. Searching all possible crevices, he relised he is forever lost. Feeding off bugs and drips of water from the ceiling, days turned to weeks and weeks to months. On one day that seemed like all the others Teverson exploring the cave heard a strange noise and noticed an unusual light. Thinking he finally found the way out of this stone prison he eagerly ran towards the light. When he finally arrived all that awaited him was an IBM ThinkPad 701C laptop, a Mad Catz Xbox 360 controller with turbo stuck on and a modded copy of The Orange Box with jump_academy loaded on it. To this day Teverson resides here hoping that one day he will find his way out.
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  10. Zeklyn:- Once thought to be long a forgotten deity from an ancient volcanic land, Zeklyn, as he has come to be known, came back into existence on a small apple farm in Norway. He greeted his new life with humility, toiling away at the harvest, wiring the trees for maximum productivity. One evening, after brushing his teeth, he realised he had not finished his daily picking duty, and walked out to collect the last apples, throwing his toothbrush at the wall in frustration. After gathering most of the tree, he saw the last apple fall from its branch, and he promptly hit it with a fatty 90 damage airshot, and called it a n00b. That day he realised his true calling in life. He would smuggle himself into mid, disgused as a "pocket", in search of the fattest airshot, no matter the cost.
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  12. Dr/tr:- Born into an evangelical cult in the Australian, Tanami Desert he was brought up learning the ways of survival and worship. On one fateful day while dying of dehydration and having no luck finding water, he had no other choice but to lick the drips of pee off a quokka’s foot. Unfortunately, it was just Halloween and the quokka stole some laced candy meant for a 6-year-old, this causes Dr/tr to go into a deep hallucination. In his deep hallucinogenic slumber, he received a message from god proclaiming “Yo, I just two tapped that Solly tryna do a dope ass pogo!”. It was clear, Dr/tr must two tap the Solly’s. Upon waking from his trance he found himself in Scotland, fortunately he was quick to relies he would be banned if they knew he was playing from Scotland as all Scottish people hack. He swam the North Atlantic Ocean to Ireland that hour never looking back and has been two shotting Sollys, making history since.
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  14. A_Mongoose:- His debut performance on Demoman at i49 was so powerful that he was forced into a cyrogenic freeze for 6 years to put an end to his reign of terror and undying commitment for the dark art of 'area denial'. Due to unforseen errors in the thawing process, he finds himself seperated from most ubers because he was programmed in an era where pocket soldiers ran shotgun, took all the ubers and referred to airshots as 'middies'. His most valued posession is his ctf_turbine map stamp.
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  16. LFBeans:- He the genius. He's the backbone of the whole joint. It's self explanatory. He the head, lets put it that way. We form like Voltron, and Beans happen to be the head.
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  18. Maverick:- The child of a prestigious and wealthy Welsh family, herding sheep was part of his daily activities. To wind down after waking up at 4:30 am to herd the sheep he would go back to his Welsh palace and watch and fantasise about his favourite YouTuber, Logan Paul. However, on one fateful night his father happened to walk in on him while singing the lyrics to ‘Logan Paul - Santa Diss Track’. Mavericks father with an overwhelming sense of shame and disgust exiled him to the Welsh field near Llyn Mynyllod lake with but a few possessions to his name. His father feeling merciful gave him a 1960 Abi Monza Caravan without a working toilet, a LifeStraw, a 3G internet access and a PC from late 1990s but it is on a standing only desk. He’s decided that the only way to reclaim his former glory is to win prem TF2 after hitting a fast rollout on Sunshine.
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