#pastebinmonday

IRL

my best friend went back home 2 weeks ago. he was visiting for a week from the usa. we hadnt seen each other in over 2 years. Truth be told, I haven't been doing very well since then. that was a really good week, and I miss him a lot. when I got back from the airport I couldnt pull myself out of bed for 6 hours, and I spent the next week drinking and distracting myself to avoid dealing with how I was feeling about being alone again and work-related stresses that have really been bringing me down. some things are getting better irl now but god damn my heart hurts and i'm not very good at dealing with it.

I also got really sick when he was here, and it's no coincidence that I recovered much more quickly than usual since I had someone around who was making sure I was getting enough rest and helping me out around the house, but for the last 2-3 weeks or so ive had a persistent cough that's honestly starting to worry me. It's normal for me to get a residual cough after being sick, but not like this. idk what's going on.

nothing seems to be going right. but i'm still feeling very lucky that someone's there who understands me and supports me in all the right ways and accepts me when im stressed out and being difficult. if you got someone like this in your life, do better than I have, make sure they always know how much you love them.



speedruns

only speedrun i'm focusing on now is SMRPG MOTS. RPGLB is only a month away, and i'm preparing for it. this is the longest speedrun I do regularly, and memorization has always been difficult for me. im putting some time into the run every day, but a lot of it is gonna be grinding segments and resetting when I think of a new way to optimize a menu or something, so I haven't been streaming that and likely won't be until much closer to the date. i'm nervous, but also have a lot of support, and I can't wait to do the run. hope you're all looking forward to it too. can't wait to go and see everybody.

dont ever trust me when I make promises about speedgames, I always get distracted



smrpg randomizer

im taking a hiatus from dev work on this, except for fixing bugs in features that i've personally worked on. I just finished some new features that got released a few days ago (palette swaps and modifying the conditions of completing bowser's keep), which were only supposed to take a few days but instead took 2 weeks of next to no sleeping. that's partially bc I was cramming as much work into the night as possible, and partially bc I needed to distract myself from how unsatisfied I am with everything else, and partially bc i was sorta drunk for half of it. but now that that's done, no more new features from me until after rpglb. however i'm only one of several devs, so who knows what's on the horizon?



other stuff

hopefully ill be done most of my commissions by the end of the week. 2 of my perler commissions, the ppl have said its fine if I do them after rpglb, which im very happy about, cause I try to get everything done in a timely manner. tonight ill be done the 13 input displays in my backlog, and by the end of the week ill be done my other outstanding perler commission. then the rest of the month will just be rpglb practice.