Tender

It was hard to restart a relationship, period. Harder still when it had been seventeen years since you had seen each other. But even after all that time there was no denying that John’s love had never died. Somewhere still deep inside he longed to be able to hold his wife again, to tell her he loved her and never let go. It’s something that crossed his mind every day when he got up and every night when he went to bed. It got only harder still when dolly came home.

But dolly didn’t come home as herself. The dolly that came home was silting and withdrawn, hard to read and harder still with the expressionless mask upon her face. He had been hurt when he finally learned who she was, unsure how to take being lied to and left alone, but that quickly changed into an ache for her suffering and a righteous wrath against the man he had once called his brother.

But something’s aren’t easy to fix, not after 17 years of trauma and 17 years of pain. John didn’t expect to be able to put dolly back together in one go but it made him so much lonelier knowing she was there and he couldn’t touch. But he was determined, god help him 17 years hadn’t destroyed his stubborn streak. He’d find dolly in the mess and put her back together again no matter how long it took.

By the grace of god the destruction of eden and the peace made with the twins finally gave him that chance. It was slow going, but dolly had no where else to really go and her baby boy wanted her home. How could she say no? And then there was John.....dear sweet and dumb John. He followed her everywhere like a lost puppy, spent ever moment gazing after her with deep longing. He didn’t touch, but the ache in his hands and the twitch of his fingers so often betrayed what was going on in his mind.

He was persistent, but he was undeniably sweet about it too. And so patient with her. His heart ached when she pulled away, when it became too much to even hold his hand, but never once did he complain. He just kept waiting and trying as time turned from weeks into months. Progress was slow, but progress was progress all the same. Even if it was just little things like dolly sneaking into the big bed at night to sleep after she thinks he’s out cold.

It’s almost a year when she quietly corrects him and he almost cries. Call her dolly she corrects him. The judge label didn’t seem to suit her anymore in her mind. Or maybe she just felt bad at the slight wince that came with saying the judge. All the same it takes two weeks before John can say the D-name without tearing up. He takes the teasing about being a sentimental old man with a smile. And dolly doesn’t sneak into bed anymore, she just follows him up when he’s ready. But John is afraid if he addresses it, it might stop so he doesn’t.

But like noted before, John is dumb. Bless his heart he missed vital things so often. He missed that he wasn’t the only one staring longingly after the other. He missed that he wasn’t the only one trying to spend every second with their soulmate. He had no idea how much dolly was pushing herself just to be able to do the little things that were slowly becoming easier.

It’s not until almost two years, two years of light touches and cuddling and carefully padded love for safety that they’d both grown back into that dolly finally finds the right way to tell him. Well, maybe not tell him, because words were still hard sometimes. But when dolly pulls him aside that night to go upstairs, when she gently guides his hands up to her mask to take it off. That’s when he knows. He knows the eyes looking up at him so softly full of tears, each little tiny freckle. And his heart could burst from looking alone. But dolly had finally come home, and that’s all he could ever ask for.