best of r/soccer thread titles

compiled by /u/return_0_

https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3aqtik/bacca_mother_i_would_hit_neymar_wit_shoe/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/2z5u76/zlatan_apologizes_for_calling_france_a_shit/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/35jheu/hernanes_on_celebrating_after_scoring_against_his/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/2ixm2s/dele_adebola_i_do_not_have_ebola/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/35v8cb/neymar_father_orgy_barcelona/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3okw2v/arsenals_alexis_sanchez_victim_of_magic_as_peru/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3q2uo7/south_african_tokyo_sexwale_to_stand_for_fifa/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3r40t2/why_does_ducth_people_saying_wijnaldum_turn_me_on/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3rbbft/are_there_good_white_soccer_players/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3vmzw2/would_there_be_a_big_controversy_if/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3xmy3y/bastian_schweinsteiger_hits_back_at_critics_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40do42/shaqiri_one_time_i_was_injured_at_inter_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/408thv/roberto_martinez_on_the_goodison_cat_i_thought_he/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40h484/bag_of_shit_thrown_at_blind_7_year_old_apparently/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40m5r1/balotelli_is_very_nice_but_he_used_to_pee_on_our/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40pqqn/i_am_not_hazards_mother_guus_hiddink/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40v606/buddhist_monks_behind_leicester_city_incredible/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40wflx/farnborough_fc_in_trouble_after_organising_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/40xr08/marco_pappa_of_the_colorado_rapids_allegedly/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3we4x4/ronaldo_i_miss_the_big_cute_bear_ancelotti/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/41g8al/tottenhams_mauricio_pochettino_dele_alli_will/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/42gdsj/lasagna_scores_an_injury_time_goal_that_will_be/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3zfvhc/benitez_sacking_not_announced_yet_because_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/42zv2d/gutijagiellonia_bia%C5%82ystok_injured_during_friendly/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/43ks4l/pep_we_have_options_in_defense_badstuber_neuer_or/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/45almk/brazilian_manager_gets_sent_off_uses_a_traffic/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/47d92o/all_hail_sergio_busquets_the_hot_dog_seller_in/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/47y5fv/falkirk_stadium_evacuated_due_to_the_discovery_of/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/48jgwy/getafe_vicecaptain_mehdi_lacen_as_a_team_we_are/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/48g6zw/michail_antonio_is_no_homer_simpson_says_west_ham/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4d1w51/steven_naismith_playing_with_daryl_janmaats_penis/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4i6yax/2000_people_coming_to_leicester_by_car_from_all/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4lkowq/adam_johnson_is_training_a_team_of_paedos_behind/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4nk01v/fan_who_bit_stewards_testicles_is_given_a_three/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4nwbj0/russian_top_cop_gay_pride_parades_have_made/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4nuzpg/russian_mp_i_dont_see_anything_bad_in_the_fans/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4p0yi6/player_got_a_2nd_yellow_card_and_sent_off_due_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4qld15/daniel_sturridge_admits_to_spraying_fragrance_on/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4rbb4z/manchester_united_boss_jose_mourinho_has_assured/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4ru65u/slutsky_after_losing_to_wales_me_and_some_players/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4vnylz/monchi_sevilla_fc_we_have_made_a_mistake_by/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4omswh/victor_wanyama_confirmed_his_move_to_spurs_while/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4xavvx/pochettino_i_told_my_players_that_if_i_had_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4xdpqs/slaven_bilic_on_big_sam_the_players_will_respect/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4xix1n/david_moyes_on_lamine_kone_he_is_a_really_good_boy/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4y5imp/psgs_stambouli_making_decision_about_popsicle/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4yunly/dresden_supporters_threw_a_severed_bull_head_on/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/4ztc21/liverpool_defender_ragnar_klavan_jurgen_klopp/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/503wqw/shkodran_mustafi_i_have_spoken_with_mesut_he_told/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/50dp4z/president_of_malaga_on_twitter_my_son_isco/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/515roe/sam_allardyce_who_am_i_to_tell_wayne_where_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/527y5j/leroy_fer_on_accidentally_buying_a_30000_horse/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/58n9tg/tokelo_rantie_dropped_from_south_africa_national/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/59ntkp/jamie_redknapp_says_emmanuel_eboue_texts_him/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/5cdt7g/anthony_stokes_has_pleaded_guilty_to_assaulting/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Gunners/comments/5cwt5t/pizza_confirms_that_alexis_is_ok_for_the_match/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/5dmiv7/wayne_rooney_defied_orders_from_gareth_southgate/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/5keaa0/sam_allardyce_says_watfords_mascot_harry_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/5qmmss/tottenham_player_harry_winks_on_pochettino_i_was/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6is1pm/sergio_ramos_tried_to_evade_tax_but_ended_paying/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6ipe4s/moise_keans_father_claim_juve_owe_him_farming/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6jmuko/gianluigi_donnarumma_the_fans_throwing_dollars_at/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6jkln9/chelsea_to_sign_juventus_star_alex_sandro_for_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6kfsct/tim_sparv_fc_midtjylland_player_ref_that_is_never/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6le4t6/mike_ashley_i_am_not_obi_wan_kenobi_in_charge_of/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6lagv9/collective_masturbation_makes_3_players_be/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6dh76i/harry_redknapp_says_he_wants_to_sign_benoit/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6lscvy/sven_why_can_i_not_have_more_than_one_woman_at/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6n7xdk/mexican_fan_tells_wife_hes_going_to_get/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6n8z2l/neymar_could_me_and_messi_handle_a_cold_tuesday/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6ody9d/jozy_altidore_my_girl_is_mad_at_me_shes_mad_at_me/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6parsk/marx_lenin_scores_with_a_topclass_shot_to_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6pj9n0/gabriel_jesus_was_surprised_how_different_was/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6pv8se/turkey_split_with_national_team_boss_fatih_terim/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6qz6m2/not_a_joke_schweinsteigers_calves_are_so_big_that/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6r66zu/egyptian_media_begin_reporting_that_liverpool/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6rsxnf/jurgen_klopp_during_match_august_it_too_late_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6sl6wy/benitez_on_lucas_perez_i_was_talking_with_arsene/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6smotw/mitten_towards_the_end_of_sir_alex_fergusons_time/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6ue1uy/pique_after_being_subbed_off_these_guys_are/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6uhv6u/demb%C3%A9l%C3%A9_flees_to_france_to_force_transfer_leaves/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6v2atj/rangers_legend_paul_gascoigne_claims_he_used_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6wpwn0/nottingham_forest_fans_fight_over_last_pie_at/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6wz3l0/andrei_kanchelskisformer_manchester_united_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6x55v8/spurs_attempt_to_swoop_in_and_gazump_chelsea_for/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6yepdr/la_liga_president_javier_tebas_they_psg_are/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6yfy2w/vardy_banter_is_the_only_thing_that_gets_you/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6ymvcl/50000_chile_fans_set_to_protest_against_alexis/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6zeiod/wenger_alexis_is_not_fat/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6zfs1n/demeble_su%C3%A1rez_said_to_me_to_give_him_the_ball/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6ztdfu/marco_asensio_to_miss_cl_opener_due_to_pimple_on/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/6z5z0u/valdivia_forgives_willian_after_getting_kicked_in/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/70aoes/neil_warnock_on_asensios_injury_i_hardly_have/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/70ddib/marquinhos_neymar_and_mbappe_have_an_incredible/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/70vt7k/32_harry_kane_has_had_more_shots_than_swansea/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/713km0/italian_senator_thinks_paulo_dybala_could_be/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/71savb/zidane_so_now_im_jinxed_am_i_before_i_was_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/71uign/antonio_conte_alvaro_morata_is_polite_and_could/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/72rpw5/romania_liga5_5th_tier_match_finished_after_just/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/73oaq1/fight_in_besiktas_locker_room_after_22_draw/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/74w86g/dick_advocaat_dutch_nt_coach_last_week_sweden/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/750nrz/isaac_success_was_arrested_following_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/750zrf/theo_hernandez_in_controversy_after_celebrating/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/72nd9z/four_football_referees_in_the_southern_african/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/753tsk/aubameyang_blames_cursed_orange_juice_for_gabons/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/758g99/new_bayern_coach_heynckes_at_press_conference_my/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7594mn/belgium_manager_roberto_martinez_complains_about/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/75mbeh/afa_president_on_sorcerer_he_had_a_lot_to_do_with/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/75oxo1/venezuela_coach_dudamel_players_rondon_herrera/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/75plh1/venezuela_nt_head_coach_rafael_dudamel_says/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/76pc92/d%C3%BCsseldorf_keeper_i_saved_the_ball_with_my_penis/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/76smkj/napoli_coach_sarri_i_watched_a_few_man_city/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/77dtdq/serie_d_player_banned_for_urinating_at_fans_club/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/77fme0/wolfburg_on_fourmatch_unbeaten_run_after_coach/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/77f26v/italian_player_banned_five_games_for_urinating/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/77m2om/pochettino_on_his_lineup_in_madrid_some_people/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/77u4jq/burnley_official_on_twitter_83_pope_saves_from/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/784kn7/neymar_i_compare_this_red_with_michelangelos_death/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/78fnp3/lazio_sending_fans_to_auschwitz/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/2m4k0h/psv_and_netherlands_leftback_jetro_willems/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/78xbay/heynckes_i_was_wiping_my_nose_a_bit_too_hard_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/79aeap/salford_city_goalkeeper_max_crocombe_sent_off_for/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7aw0jx/tino_asprillo_shares_a_clip_of_himself_teaching_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7frz1k/lukaku_looking_at_3match_ban_over_bong_hits/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7gm6f1/joe_gomez_as_soon_as_we_score_we_think_lets_keep/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7gp38c/nathan_redmond_pep_guardiola_did_not_call_me_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7hylws/carles_puyol_slapped_by_dildo_wielding_fan_in/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7la0o8/franck_rib%C3%A9ry_tells_a_fan_to_go_and_eat_his/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7lgqri/feyenoord_striker_michiel_kramer_fined_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7luymb/valencia_coach_marcelino_was_involved_in_a_car/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7m2t7u/an_old_man_from_arad_romania_set_his_house_on/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7o6hyd/balotelli_asked_some_of_his_colleagues_neymar/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1sc5r4/david_moyes_reveals_that_shinji_kagawa_had_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7pk7rp/we_are_looking_for_a_player_to_mate_with_bas_dost/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7qvkxq/burnley_boss_sean_dyche_has_a_gravel_voice/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7r9zwd/sean_dyche_i_dont_eat_worms_and_i_never_have/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7ru9j9/troy_deeney_about_five_players_have_flicked_me_in/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7rxlm0/middlesbrough_fan_arrested_after_video_shows_man/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7tfjfg/sandro_wagner_about_his_goal_my_penis_played_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7uaq86/giroud_done_the_only_holdup_now_is_presumably/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7w7i48/di_mar%C3%ADa_memes_hurt_us_a_lot_going_to_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7xalgv/man_jailed_in_dubai_for_stealing_5m_from_his_wife/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7y6vma/gattuso_we_are_taking_it_easy_on_cutrone_he_must/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/83fg0g/sergio_ramos_went_missing_for_10_minutes_in_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/8kl8l8/guernsey_football_match_abandoned_after_pitch/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/8pcok4/portugal_stars_sex_therapist_wife_urges_coach_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/8sjfch/get_impregnated_by_a_world_cup_player_win_free/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/97ww0u/exgabon_youth_player_and_nantes_player_of_the/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/ain52o/man_accused_of_punching_three_police_horses/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/asthh6/dog_invades_a_football_pitch_in_peru_but_the_ones/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/b34v9u/man_holding_hostages_tells_armed_police_he_wants/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/7q5ibm/with_the_signing_of_arda_turan_basaksehir_now_has/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/altph0/on_loan_barcelona_player_arda_turan_faces_up_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/cs4tpk/danilo_avelar_when_i_played_in_ukraine_our/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/cu17m1/joao_maleck_mexican_soccer_player_who_killed_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/cz5ki7/cristiano_ronaldo_had_a_good_sniff_of_renato/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/dawiyy/racist_roma_fan_im_not_racist/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/dby06f/former_valencia_president_soler_arrested_for/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/dcczwb/steven_gerrard_we_believe_however_we_can_hurt/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/deyy7x/juventus_chairman_andrea_agnelli_says_a_european/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/dioxm6/zinedine_zidane_goes_to_bed_at_night_and_dreams/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/dj9y6s/turkish_amateur_club_alada%C4%9F_g%C3%BCc%C3%BC_has_signed_a_1/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/e06o1a/jose_mourinho_to_tottenham_players_in_his_first/
https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/ebm5cl/serie_a_used_monkeys_in_an_antiracism_posters/