Commission - Barthurs - Couple's Fruit Catastrophe

    It's a frosty day in Neo North America. The effects of the presence of mamono on the climate have temporarily brought about a mini ice age in the northern parts of the world, blanketing the earth in a thick layer of snow. Some blame the mamono who wield ice magic in . Others, the wailing, broken heart of an all-powerful Yuki-Onna, stretching a blizzard as far as the distance between her and her lover. A few have accused the Yetis of constructing a weather machine to bring about their evil plans of forcing the ultimate cuddle weather upon an unsuspecting population of peace-loving humans.
    Thankfully, the introduction of magic into modern society has paved the way for new and effective methods to fight the cold.
    It is here, caught in a blizzard in the northern part of the United States that a young, adventurous, and undeniably goofy man is making his way down the frozen-over streets of New Michigan. He mourns his lack of a body pillow, comforter, or even knowledge of simple fire magic to keep him warm throughout the harsh nights. The only thing to his name is a cold, distant lich, with whom he has a very fond yet complicated sexual relationship with, but who he hardly sees, due to her busy schedule.
    His phone rings, and he digs his frosty gloves into his warm pockets to pull it out. A familiar, cold monotone made demands through the speaker of Barthurs's phone before he could even hold it up to his ear.
    "Barthurs, I need you to come over to my laboratory immediately."
    "Oh, hey Liana. Is it date night already?"
    "It's not a date. It's an experiment. I'm not interested in dating, as it's a complete waste of time, and a distraction from my research. Are you coming, or not?"
    "Yeah, I'm on my way, honey."
    "See you soon, then." The call disconnects with a loud beep. Barthurs crams his phone back into his pocket, and starts tredging through the thick snow.

    Liana had been extracting juice from couple's fruit for hours now. Her hands were stained different colors, as she had taken great care not to mix the fruit together. Her experiment was more of a scheme than an actual study, as  she was planning to give Barthurs the blue juice, and disguise the red juice as wine, imbibing only a small amount of it. In doing so, the Couple's Fruit would inevitably make Barthurs fall head-over-heels for her, and he would never refuse an experiment again, regardless of how humiliating or degrading it would be.
    Barthurs knocked at the door to her laboratory, which, in actuality, was just her newly-remodeled kitchen. Liana cackled dryly as she sauntered toward the door, and swung it open.
    "Come in." She falsely grumbled, before returning to her workstation.
    "So, what are we doing tonight?" Barthurs inquired, "It smells really sweet in here. Are you baking a pie?"
    "Absolutely not. I have no interest in eating."
    "Aww, and here I was, thinking you were going to surprise me with a romantic gesture."
    "Drink this." Liana ordered, thrusting a phial of blue liquid into his palms.
    "So, it was something homemade! I knew you were a softie."
    "Drink it."
    "Fiiiiine." Barthurs sighed, taking the phial down in a single swig.
    "Alright. Tell me how you feel right now."
    "Kind of warm."
    "Interesting. I will be observing you for the next couple of hours, so please get comfortable." Liana explains, pouring the red couple's fruit juice into a wine glass, and taking a small sip.
    "You drink?" Barthurs inquired.
    "On occasion. It's a great way to calm down."
    "Do you mind sharing?"
    "Why would I? Intoxication could affect the performance of the drug."
    "Yeah, but it'd be the girlfriend-ly thing to do."
    "Don't act like this is some sort of date." Liana spat. "Experimentation is a very serious procedure. I need the utmost focus."
    Though she was completely oblivious to it, the Couple's Fruit was already starting to take effect. Normally, Barthurs's constant tomfoolery was something Liana could easily ignore, but it was quickly becoming immensely infuriating.
    "Why not just call it, 'experiment night'? That way, we get the best of both worlds."
    "Fine! It's 'experiment night'. Just, keep me updated on what you're experiencing."
    "Anything for my lovely lich lady."
    "Shut the fuck up."
    That was the first time Liana had ever used that kind of language around Barthurs. It stung, but it was also infinitely entertaining to his mischievous side. "So, what is this drug supposed to do, anyway? Nothing is changing, aside from my body temperature.
    "Give it a moment. You'll be feeling an extreme lust soon."
    As Liana said this, her body flared up with painful heat. She thought that the anticipation of sex was getting to her, so she drank more of the red juice to hasten Barthurs's reaction.
    This was, much to her misfortune, a horrible move. The heat intensified, and she began to tremble at the thought of being touched by Barthurs. Cold sweat began to condense on every inch of her skin. Barthurs was staring at her eagerly, but she couldn't look him in the eye.
    "Everything okay, Liana? You're drinking pretty fast." Barthurs remarked.
    She hadn't realized it, but she had been nervously sipping away at the juice every couple of seconds. Her heart was beating out of her chest, anxious about what could happen next. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a rough week."
    "Even so, you shouldn't drink that fast. It'll make you sick."
        "Don't give me that. I'm way older than you. I can handle it. Observe." She declared, before downing the rest of the glass. "See? It's nothing."
    "Your funeral." Barthurs shrugged. "Well, I guess that's irrelevant, considering you're already dead and all."
    "What about you? How are you feeling?" Liana asked, tightly pressing her thighs together to suppress the lascivious thoughts invading her head.
    "Nothing yet."
    Nothing? Nothing?! Liana couldn't comprehend how that was even possible. She had concentrated the juice of at least ten fruits into that phial. The cup she had so nonchalantly chugged had only half of the red fruit's worth of juice. Logically speaking, Barthurs should have been on his knees and begging for her by now, but he seemed completely fine.
    "Must be a delayed reaction." She rationed.
    "I do have a slow metabolism. At least, I think I do."
    "Even so, to have such mild symptoms so late into ingestion... I have my doubts. Are you sure you aren't having any intense feelings of love?"
    "Nothing intense."
    "A desire for affection?"
    "Nope."
    "A sweltering lust that never seems to die down?"
    "Nothing more than the usual."
    "Yeah, no, something's definitely wr-" Liana's eyes widened. "Wait, Barthurs..."
    "Yeah?"
    "Did you just say, 'nothing more than the usual'?"
    "I did."
    "And how much, er, lust, do you usually feel towards me?"
    "A lot."
    "A lot? Exactly how much is that?"
    "It's kind of hard to quantify a concept like lust, isn't it?"
    Liana grabbed Barthurs by the collar of his shirt, and shook him violently. "Then speak figuratively, you imbecile! I don't need metrics, I need answers, dammit!"
    Barthurs smiled wryly. "What's got you so flustered?"
    Liana composed herself, and shot Barthurs a glare that could kill a rodent. "You're being uncooperative. This is a serious experiment. I'm allowed to get a little upset."
    'Upset' was hardly the word for it. Liana was furious, though it wasn't because of Barthurs's antics. Even now, at the peak of her anger, she could think of nothing she wanted more than to tear into Barthurs's clothes, and ravage the smug grin right off of his face. But, her pride wouldn't allow her to give in so easily, and seeing Barthurs be able to take the fruit's effects without as much as a nervous sweat was endlessly aggravating.
    "Alright, alright, fine. Figuratively speaking, I can't even get in the mood to jerk off without thinking about you." Barthurs admitted, shoving his hands into his pockets as he averted Liana's gaze.
    Liana let go of Barthurs's collar. "You mean you... think about me that often?"
    "I mean, yeah. I love you."
    Liana caught herself spacing out, trying desperately to process the words she just heard. Her coping mechanism kicked in. She crossed her arms, and gloated, "Hoh! I knew it! You really were feeling the effects of the juice all along!"
    "Juice? I thought this was a drug."
    Liana coughed into her fist.
    Barthurs quickly changed the subject. "Alright. So, uh, is there any way you'd like to pass the time while we wait for the drug to kick in?"
    "Yes, actually."
    "Alright, what do you have in mind?"
    "I'd like to... hold your hands."
    It was at this exact moment in time that Barthurs knew something was up. Liana was more likely to break your arms than to hold your hand. He knew for a fact that she wasn't going to plunge a syringe into his arm, as if she wanted to, she would've already done so, without the need for such an obvious bait-and-switch. And the look in her eyes, it was like a shelter dog staring at him from behind a cage. He honestly had no idea how to respond, so with the utmost trust, he offered her his hands.
    Liana quickly seized them in her cold, trembling grasp, forcefully locking her fingers between his. She stared intensely at their union, as if she were burning the image into her mind. "It's... really warm." She muttered to herself.
    "Well, yeah. I'm not undead." Barthurs interjected.
    "Yeah, but... it's cozy. It's not like the sun, or fire, or anything like that. It's... really comforting." She yawned.
    "You sound tired. Don't you usually drink a lot of coffee?"
    "Coffee, energy drinks, caffeine pills... I like to stay awake. Sleeping is a waste of time. But, right now, it's all I want to do." She murmured, holding Barthurs's hands up to her face.
    Barthurs processed the situation in his usual, slow manner. "Are you... flirting with me?"
    For the record-Liana was not the type to flirt. Like many other things, she saw it as a waste of time, an unnecessary step in the process of courtship. After all, why bother flirting, when in most cases, you can make your man hard from the get-go?
    However, none of that mattered now. The couple's fruit had already drastically altered her desires. Though her affection was, in many ways, more indirect than she felt was necessary, it was an adequate amount of smothering for the man she so deeply desired. Ironically, she had forgotten all about her experiment, and was simply indulging herself.
    Suddenly, Liana let go of Barthurs's hands, and forced herself into his arms, clutching his ribs in a hug that forced the air out of his lungs.
    "Liana... stop... you're crushing me!" Barthurs pleaded as Liana wrestled him against the couch.
    As Barthurs's back hit the seat of the couch, Liana loosened up, and buried her head into his chest. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. You're like a teddy bear."
    "What about the experiment? Isn't physical contact going to be a problem?"
    "It's obvious that your slow metabolism is affecting the rate at which the fruit is being absorbed into your bloodstream. So, for now, let me take a nap. A man like you shouldn't be troubled by a woman doing this to him, right?"
    "Even so, you're acting really weir-" Barthurs's protesting was silenced when Liana pressed her finger against his mouth.
    "If you have complaints, they can wait. The experiment has been postponed."
    "Then, what are we doing?"
    "The same thing we've always been doing. Dating."
    Barthurs's concern had hit a zenith. The teasing he had become so used to pushing onto Liana was now being force-fed to him in the most ham-fisted way Liana could muster. Against his better judgement, Barthurs summoned up the courage to ask, "Liana, are you okay? You're acting weird."
    "What's so weird about this? After working with me so long, it's only natural that I've come to depend on you. Besides, I know how much you like me, experiment or otherwise. So, let's enjoy this brief moment of quality time together, before your mind becomes consumed by otherworldly lust." She gently traces hearts against his chest with her finger. "You know, it's been getting really lonely in the lab lately. I think you're at fault. I can only invite you over, what, twice a week? That job of yours is really meddlesome. I'd like to hire you as a full-time guinea pig. That, or an assistant, since you seem to be quite handy. Maybe you'd like to be a husband?"
    "H-husband?"
    "Of course. We could run through the unnecessarily self-indulgent ceremonial nonsense and everything. I'm sure I'd enjoy it, as long as you're the one I'm doing it with. We could have a honeymoon in Zipangu, and after that, there would be no way you could escape from me." She explained, staring directly into Barthurs's eyes, her pupils taking the shape of hearts. She moved her hand up from his chest in order to firmly cup his cheek. "You'd be my precious guinea pig, my loyal assistant, and my eternally betrothed. You don't mind, do you?"
    "O-of course I don't! I love you."
    "It's settled, then. You'll be mine, forever."
    Barthurs swallowed loudly, and eagerly nodded.
    "I take it that you still aren't feeling the effects of the fruit, either?"
    Barthurs shook his head.
    "In other words, you're saying that with a  completely clear conscience?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Good. I'll show you the laboratory security cam footage from tonight if you ever try to weasel your way out of this." She grumbled, pecking Barthurs on the cheek.
    "I'd never!"
    "I'll hold you to it." She smiled softly. "Hey, Barthurs?"
    "Yeah?"
    "It's awfully cold in here."
    Barthurs immediately recognized this as her signature booty call. She would usually only text this to him late at night, when she needed more mana at a moment's notice. Of course, right now, it seemed like mana was not what was on her mind. "R-right. How should we do this?"
    "Just touch me. Do whatever you want."
    "Are you sure?"
    "I just want to see what you like about me. I know I'm bossy, and rude, and mean, but do you really find all of that attractive?"
    Barthurs pushed her over onto her back, holding her down by her shoulders. "Hell yeah. But, not because I like being bossed around, or anything. It's just, I can see what you're really saying through all of that. It's kind of cute, really."
    Liana squirmed against his grip. "Don't call me cute... It's... really embarrassing." She muttered, her skin flush with deep purple color.
    Barthurs squeezed one of Liana's breasts, gently massaging it with his fingers. Liana moaned loudly, her breath escaping her lungs in a passionate fog.
    "Do you really like my breasts?"
    "Yeah! I'm a guy, it's in my blood to like them."
    "Even though my nipples are inverted?"
    "It's a fetish."
    Liana pulled apart her bathrobe, exposing herself completely to Barthurs. "Show me. You've piqued my curiosity."
    Barthurs shoved his mouth over one of her nipples, running his tongue along the inside of the inverted crease. Liana's response was a near-orgasmic roar of excitement.
    "For some reason," Liana panted, "it's even more exciting, knowing that you have a sexual fascination with them. Have you ever thought about putting your dick between them?"
    "Multiple times, but we usually stuck to vaginal sex, since it's easier to convert the semen into spiritual energy that way."
    "Well, since you're my husband now, don't worry about that anymore. If you need my body, it's there for you. Just, try not to bother me when I'm handling delicate materials, okay!"
    "In that case," Barthurs removed his pants, revealing an erection on the verge of bursting. "I need you for a moment."
    Liana smirked with submissive glee, squeezing her breasts together, giggling to herself at his eagerness.
    Barthurs wedged his dick inside of Liana's cleavage, the head of his penis peaking out of the top as he pushed all the way through. Liana gave the tip a small kiss, before looking up at Barthurs, and asking, "Well? Does it live up to your fantasies?"
    "Oh yeah..." Barthurs shuddered.
    "Go on, then. Let's see how long you last."
    Barthurs held on to Liana's shoulders as he shook his hips against her chest, rubbing his dick against every inch of her cleavage. Liana presses her breasts together even harder, muttering a cosmetic incantation that would give her heart-shaped pupils, knowing this would only further spur him on.
    "So? How are you holding up? Are you going to cum soon?" Liana moaned, softly staring into Barthurs's eyes as he hungrily pounded away at her tits.
    Barthurs could hardly respond, being too enraptured by her to let out anything other than a satisfied grunt.
    "I guess that's a good enough answer. I'll need you to write a full report for me after this, though."
    Liana leaned forward, puckering her lips so that they would meet the tip of Barthurs's penis as it peeked out of her cleavage. Barthurs pressed himself harder against her breasts, hoping to get far enough inside to enter her mouth.
    "Oh? You want me to drink it up, huh?" Liana said, opening her mouth wide, and draping her tongue over her soft lips. A thin trail of drool ran down the corners of her cheeks. Excited by the sight, Barthurs feverishly humped her chest, the wet sound of a precum-coated bosom filling the air. As he came, he grabbed hold of Liana's braid, pulling her head toward her chest, and forcing her mouth over the tip of his cock. Without protest, she swallowed every last drop of the load he let loose in her mouth.
    "Jeez, you must have been pent up." Liana smiled, licking her lavender lips. "If you want, we can go for-"
    Liana was interrupted by a still-aroused Barthurs lifting her up off the couch, and shoving her back against the wall. He picked up one of her legs, and draped it over his shoulder.
    "Hey, wait, I'm not ready to-" Liana begged, but was cut off by the forceful insertion of a rock-hard cock inside of her cold, undead pussy. She squealed through her teeth, her insides squeezing Barthurs's penis tightly in a feeble effort to contain him. He pulled back, and Liana's eyes widened, rolling upwards, and toward the bridge of her nose. "No, don't move, the Couple's Fruit is-"
    Again, she was cut off by an over-eager Barthurs, who could think of nothing more than ravaging his new wife. His cock was thrust deep inside of her once again, just barely reaching the cervix. The feeling of being spread so violently wide open sent a jolt of masochistic excitement down Liana's spine. Her face blossomed into a loose, wet ahegao. It was the most intense orgasm she had felt in a while.
    Barthurs, excited by the sight of this new, more submissive side of Liana, continued to pound her against the wall, thrusting his hips upward like a well-oiled piston. Every thrust lifted Liana slightly off of her feet, forcing her to lean more and more onto her back. Afraid of falling down, she wrapped an arm around Barthurs's shoulder, and clung on for dear life. This brought Barthurs's face extremely close to hers, his hot, heavy breaths pelting her face. This only excited her more.
    "Kiss me! Kiss me!" She pleaded, her tongue wagging. Barthurs obliged, passionately kissing her as he continued to ravage her from below. Feeling another orgasm coming, she held Barthurs close with both her arm and her leg, and roared with ecstasy as Barthurs pumped her insides full of thick seed.
    "Sorry about that." Barthurs sighed with relief as he pulled out of her, a glob of semen falling onto the floor as he did. "You're usually never this submissive."
    "No need to apologize. I liked it quite a bit, actually." She panted, wiping the sweat off of her face. "Honestly, I might have you do that more often. I haven't felt this relaxed in a while. With that said..." She remarks, pointing at Barthurs's still-throbbing erection. "Ready for round 3?"
    "Actually, I might need a quick break. I didn't eat that much for breakfast, and the lack of spirit energy is making me all dizzy. I'll go ahead and make some-"
    Liana cupped his groin with her cold, undead hand. "Did I say you could take a break?"
    "Well, no, but-"
    Liana leaned forward, resting her chest against Barthurs's. "It's still experiment night. You're unusually hard today. I'd say the couple's fruit is working as intended. So, we can't stop now, can we?" She coaxed, stroking him softly.
    Barthurs swallowed audibly, his throat sinking into his chest.
    "Are you nervous? How cute. I guess that means it's my turn."
    "Liana, hold on a-" Barthurs stammered as Liana wrestled him to the ground. Holding him down by the hands, she slowly backed up, readying herself for a long, hard ride.
    "I don't wanna die, Liana!" Barthurs begged.
    "I'd never kill you without consent. This is just to make sure you don't wander off with someone else before we get married."
    "As if I would!"
    "I know you wouldn't, but that won't stop someone from trying. So, I'm going to make sure your body never forgets me."
    "Isn't this a little extreme?"
    "Maybe. But, it's experiment night." She smirked as she plunged Barthurs's cock inside of her, her thighs slapping loudly against his waist with the force of impact.
    "Too rough! Time out!" Barthurs pleaded, but his new wife was so consumed by rapturous pleasure to heed his cries for mercy. She glared deeply into Barthurs's eyes with predatory hunger as she milked him with her hips, her pussy slick with his previous orgasm. The room sweltered with passionate heat as she relentlessly rode his cock, her precum-covered breasts bouncing in every direction with her wild, uncontrollable movements.
    Barthurs felt her grip on his wrists ease up as she fell into a sexual trance. Seizing the opportunity, he shook his arms free of her grip, and held her by the waist, struggling to slow her down.
    "Oh? Are you close? Do you want me to slow down?" She teased, deliberately increasing her pace against Barthurs's interference. "Such a shame that you never bothered to train your body like I have. I'll have you properly broken in as my husband in no time."
    "Liana!" Barthurs gasped, "I already love you, so have mercy!"
    Liana growled swears as her pussy tightened up around Barthurs's cock. "I'm cumming!" She howled in a broken voice. She leaned forward, and kissed her husband, her loud, cracking moans traveling through his lips.
 With one final, heavy thrust, she claimed a third orgasm from Barthurs, sighing heavily as the ejaculate pooled up inside of her. "I love you too, honey." Liana purred, tightly hugging Barthurs as she caught her breath.
    The two of them moved to the bedroom to watch horror-themed b-movies, and engage in a good bit of post-coital snuggling.
    "Ugh, just look inside the cabinet already!" Liana hollered at the screen as she tossed a handfull of buttered popcorn into her mouth.
    "Liana, they can't hear you." Barthurs laughed, squeezing his wife tightly.
    "I know, but I wish they could! It's frustrating how they always make the most irrational decisions."
    "You're saying this to a man who is marrying a corpse."
    "A living corpse, mind you. Calling me a corpse is really hurtful, you know."
    "I didn't mean it like that!"
    "I know you didn't. But, it'll be good to have a grudge to settle for the honeymoon. I can't get enough of that innocent-yet-guilty look on your face you get when you're in trouble."
    "What's that supposed to mean?!"
    Liana traces a heart onto Barthurs's chest. "You'll find out soon enough. Until then, maybe you should consider working out." She winks, a hint of evil radiating from her smile.