You think Yukari is overpowered?

You think Yukari is overpowered?
Let me tell you about overpowered.
Imagine ZUN dies or something and fans, fanfic writers, and doujin artists, come together to make a grimdark Touhou game.
Tired of the whole "little girl" theme, they decide that in this game there's this black unnamed entity. Something or another eating away at the fabric of the fantasy world.
Then Reimu and Marisa would be all like "Oh sweet, an incident, let's beat up some low-level characters for no reason".
Then they encounter the black wiggly tentacles of the entity and see it has fucking eaten Team 9. I mean, Mystia gets eaten practically every game so why the fuck not here as well? And I don't mean the sissy offscreen death "we're Youkai we'll respawn anyway" eaten I mean, "still in the fucking process of digesting their bones I feed off of fantasy and They're not coming back" eaten. You know, the sort of thing that would appeal to those sick fucks who keep posting Sanae swallowing Cirno or the boa constrictor strangling Satori.
You know. The whole usual shit they pull off in doujins, kill a few well-known personalities just to show how this bad guy is totally serious you guys, honest.
Then the thing starts expanding permanently deleting everything it engulfs. Like, where it goes, reality or fantasy in Gensokyo ceases to fucking EXIST. It UNDOES anything it touches.


But Marisa doesn't give a fuck. She’d be like "I’m a dumb blonde who only has one way of solving problems and it ain't subtlety Eat some Maaaster SPAAAAAAARK fucker". Which puts a slight singe on one of the entities' appendages and Marisa is like "WTF man it's the Master motherfucking Spark, bitch!". Then Hakkero dissolves in her hand and her broom stops flying and she has a nervous breakdown or something. Derp.
Then Reimu would be all like "H4x sign ‘plot armor barrier’! Now we shall end this and have some motherfucking tea". But then the thing just kills her right then and there. OH YEAH SISTER EVEN THOUGH IT’S ONLY STAGE 3.


But then Reimu wakes up in the normal world and sees an IV line sticking out of her arm. She realizes she's been in a coma since she was five years old and Gensokyo was just a figment of her imagination, a dream world made up from fragments of fairy tales by her subconscious. WHAT A TOTALLY ORIGINAL TWEEST!


EXCEPT OR IS IT?
Only THEN does Yukari show up and is all like "OR IS THIS THE DREAM AND GENSOKYO THE REALITY?" and she's wearing shades by the way, and offers Reimu to take either the blue charm or the red charm. Then Agent Sakuya appears and starts chasing them around until they blow up a cistern somewhere
So Reimu takes the red charm. But isn't she dead? Nuh-UH! Cause Yuyuko is all like "oh no you DIDN’T, nigga!" and would Resurrection Butterfly her ass. That's how this shit works, right? I don't know, I haven’t been paying attention, what with final PCB stage boiling down to GRAZE GRAZE GRAZE GRAZE THESE MOTHERFUCKING BUTTERFLY FUCKERS for me.


By this time the strands that keep Gensokyo glued together have started collapsing, as the entity is eating away at progressively larger portions of Gensokyo Auxilliary structures such as Higan, Netherworld, the former underground hell, Moon Capital, shit like that, are either cut off or already gone. Panicking, the evil spirits flee the Netherworld and start wrecking the shit out of everything else.
Kanako and Suwako go down defending the Mountain, but Suwako knocks Sanae out and teleports her away or something. I mean, come on, she's a fucking goddess, she can do that, right"?
Then Yuyuko would be all like "Youmu. I'm hungry, I'mma eat this monster".
And then monster is "no, Yuyuko, you are the snacks" And then Yuyuko was... errrm, deader than she'd previously been.
Then Youmu is fucking pissed and she charges the thing with her Shoryuken thingie. It was either that or disembowel herself, after all.
Then there is the mandatory touching (read: fapworthy} scene where Kaguya and Mokou make a stand against the monster together, finally devoured into nothingness, their regeneration/immortality, fantastic in origin, absorbed by the entity. Mokou's ultra-flames of entropy do manage to destroy a chunk of the monster.
Also Udonge gets tentacle raped somewhere along the way, if only to confirm the stereotype.


Then Utsuho shows up, managing to flee the reactor thingie just before it was shut off from the rest of Gensokyo, and unleashes righteous nuclear plasma fury. Unfortunately the Forest of Magic is annihilated in the process. The souls of the Youkai and humans living there a regrettable but necessary collateral damage. Utsuho herself kamikazes into the beast for the last explosion.
But is the monster finally stopped? You and me both saw enough cliche TV shows to know this was a "Noone could survive that" sort of explosion. And as we all know EVERYONE survives a fucking "noone could survive that" explosion.
It continues moving onwards like a giant black amoeba, everything is destroyed, spiritual fires burning around, random rips in spacetime itself opening and closing everywhere, and the last desperate stand is in front of the Hakurei temple, the sentinel separating the fantasy world from reality.
In the middle of it all someone with a hint of a brain left, possibly Aya because she strikes me as the kind of a bitch who'd do that, manages to wonder aloud whose fucking brilliant idea was it to focus all their attention of the past decade or more into a non-lethal danmaku+spellcard system instead of, you know, USEFUL DESTRUCTIVE STUFF.


The last stand crew would include Reimu, Marisa, Remilia, Flandre, Sakuya, Sanae, Suika etc.. The girls all have ripped clothes by now (naturally, durr), and unleash the most powerful powers they ever powered. In the tooth and nail battle, the girls do their best and most epic, like Flandre is fucking unleashed and makes the whole fusion explosion bit look like a cigarette lighter, Suika grows and the fully grown Suika unleashes mini-Suikas, each of these mini-Suikas being al least 3x as large as regular non-enlarged Suika because you can never have enough Suika, right"? RIGHT? Oh also Sakuya stops lime, throws knives, turns out lime is a subset of Gensokyo reality and the monster eats it all, blah blah, epistemiological consequences noone cares about.
So alas, our heroines, having fought valiantly, are finally defeated. The monster is just about to devour them all and end the Hakurei shrine and Gensokyo once and for all.
But THEN Yukari shows up and goes like "Oh man, that was some *yawn* good sleep. Hey, what's going on here? An eldritch abomination is trying to eat Gensokyo out of existence? Huh. Fancy that."
Then she waves her fan or something.
Gap opens.
Monster falls into gap.
Everything's back to normal.
Game Over.
THAT’S HOW OVERPOWERED YUKARI IS.


Oh and also a few days later, the black tentacled monster comes for tea and asks the girls to take care of its little sister in the Extra stage.