Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

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<font color="#ffff00">Subtitles by explosiveskull</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Hmph.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Welcome to Zombieland.</i></font>

4
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Back for seconds?
After all this time?</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Well, what can I say,
but thank you.</i></font>

6
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>You have a lot of choices</i></font>

7
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>when it comes to
zombie entertainment,</i></font>

8
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>and we appreciate
you picking us.</i></font>

9
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>So you know how Eskimos</i></font>

10
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>have a bunch of words for snow?</i></font>

11
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>The only reason we've survived
the last several years</i></font>

12
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>is we've gotten to know
our bloodthirsty enemies</i></font>

13
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>better than we know ourselves.</i></font>

14
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>In the time since
we last saw you,</i></font>

15
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>zombies have evolved,</i></font>

16
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>so we've given them
different names.</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>This lady here
is getting chased</i></font>

18
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>by the dumbest Z there is,
what we call a Homer.</i></font>

19
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>In a world without YouTube,</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>who isn't entertained
by a Homer?</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>D'oh!</i></font>

22
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Unfortunately, for every Homer,</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>there's a Hawking,
as in Stephen.</i></font>

24
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Or maybe his slightly less
accomplished sister, Beatrix,</i></font>

25
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>who's still got some brains
left to figure shit out.</i></font>

26
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<font color="#ffff00">Open, open!</font>

27
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Clever girl.</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Okay. Last one.</i></font>

29
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what was that?</i></font>

30
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Okay, all right.
Well, this time,</i></font>

31
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>let's play Name That Zombie.</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Hello?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Hello?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>The Ninja. Silent, deadly.</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>The first thing you hear
is your own scream.</i></font>

36
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>You can imagine how thrilled we
were to crack the zombie code.</i></font>

37
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>But life is about more
than just survival.</i></font>

38
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Ever since we were evicted
from our normal lives,</i></font>

39
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>I'd been searching for a place
to put down roots.</i></font>

40
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>My old pal Tallahassee has this
saying, "Go big or go home."</i></font>

41
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>It's not his signature phrase,
but it did give me an idea.</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Why not go big...</i></font>

43
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>and go home?</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ End of passion play ♪</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Crumbling away ♪</i></font>

46
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm your source
of self-destruction ♪</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Veins that pump with fear ♪</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Sucking darkest clear ♪</i></font>

49
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Leading on
Your death's construction ♪</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Taste me
You will see ♪</i></font>

51
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ More is all you need ♪</i></font>

52
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ You're dedicated to
How I'm killing you ♪</i></font>

53
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Come crawling faster ♪</i></font>

54
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Obey your master ♪</i></font>

55
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Your life burns faster ♪</i></font>

56
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Obey your master ♪</i></font>

57
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Master
Master of puppets ♪</i></font>

58
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm pulling your strings ♪</i></font>

59
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Twisting your mind
And smashing your dreams ♪</i></font>

60
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Blinded by me
You can't see a thing ♪</i></font>

61
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Just call my name
'Cause I'll hear you scream ♪</i></font>

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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Master
Master ♪</i></font>

63
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Master of puppets
I'm pulling your strings ♪</i></font>

64
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Twisting your mind
and smashing your... ♪</i></font>

65
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<font color="#ffff00">Hail to
the motherfucking chief.</font>

66
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>There are worse places</i></font>

67
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>to hang your hat.</i></font>

68
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Casa Blanca.</i></font>

69
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<font color="#ffff00">Wait, why does he get
to be president?</font>

70
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<font color="#ffff00">I would have made
a damn fine president.</font>

71
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<font color="#ffff00">Kissed a few hands,
shook a few babies.</font>

72
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<font color="#ffff00">You would have brought
a real dignity to the office.</font>

73
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<font color="#ffff00">- Thank you.
- You don't have what it takes.</font>

74
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<font color="#ffff00">- I'll be president.
- Heh!</font>

75
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<font color="#ffff00">And I nominate Little Rock
as my VP.</font>

76
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,400
<font color="#ffff00">So that means
I get to be president</font>

77
00:05:27,402 --> 00:05:28,970
<font color="#ffff00">if you get killed by zombies.</font>

78
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<font color="#ffff00">That wasn't
what I was thinking</font>

79
00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:33,207
<font color="#ffff00">when I offered you
the position, but yes.</font>

80
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>I have this rule:</i></font>

81
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Enjoy the little things.</i></font>

82
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Which is what we spent
a lot of time doing</i></font>

83
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>in those early days
at the White House.</i></font>

84
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>And it was a really
special time,</i></font>

85
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>making a house our home.</i></font>

86
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Happy birthday to... ♪</i></font>

87
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<font color="#ffff00">Shooting up, not to.
All right. Nice!</font>

88
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>Wichita and I fell into
our own version of domestic bliss.</i></font>

89
00:06:00,635 --> 00:06:04,739
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Well, not quite bliss,
but domesticity to be sure.</i></font>

90
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<font color="#ffff00">Did Abe's blindfold
fall off again?</font>

91
00:06:06,474 --> 00:06:08,508
<font color="#ffff00">No, it did not fall off.
I took it off.</font>

92
00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:10,777
<font color="#ffff00">It's so creepy.
He stares at us all night.</font>

93
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<font color="#ffff00">That stare emancipated
the slaves,</font>

94
00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:14,148
<font color="#ffff00">and ended the Civil War.</font>

95
00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:16,150
<font color="#ffff00">We should be grateful
he's gawking at us.</font>

96
00:06:16,152 --> 00:06:18,818
<font color="#ffff00">Remember what happened the last
time you took the blindfold off?</font>

97
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<font color="#ffff00">You made me sleep
on the Lincoln couch?</font>

98
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,291
<font color="#ffff00">Mm-hm.</font>

99
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:29,996
<font color="#ffff00">- Is that better?
- Much better.</font>

100
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<font color="#ffff00">Good.</font>

101
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>I love you so much, baby.</i></font>

102
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<font color="#ffff00">You are so gorgeous.</font>

103
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<font color="#ffff00">We really need
to find you someone.</font>

104
00:06:40,142 --> 00:06:41,941
<font color="#ffff00">That's where you're wrong.</font>

105
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,845
<font color="#ffff00">Any romance left in me
belongs to the Beast here.</font>

106
00:06:44,847 --> 00:06:48,150
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Well, then we need
to find someone for me.</font>

107
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<font color="#ffff00">Heh, heh, heh,
shouldn't be a problem,</font>

108
00:06:52,421 --> 00:06:54,455
<font color="#ffff00">long as you're open
to dating zombies.</font>

109
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:57,624
<font color="#ffff00">So you're saying what? I'm
never gonna find a boyfriend,</font>

110
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,826
<font color="#ffff00">or get married, have a family?</font>

111
00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:04,698
<font color="#ffff00">We're you family, so one
out of three ain't bad.</font>

112
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,667
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Little Rock had a
strong desire to leave the nest.</i></font>

113
00:07:07,669 --> 00:07:09,402
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And let's just say Tallahassee</i></font>

114
00:07:09,404 --> 00:07:11,638
<font color="#ffff00"><i>wasn't the most understanding
father figure.</i></font>

115
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<font color="#ffff00">Little Rock!</font>

116
00:07:12,941 --> 00:07:14,373
<font color="#ffff00"><i>But for better or worse,</i></font>

117
00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:15,842
<font color="#ffff00"><i>we were a family.</i></font>

118
00:07:15,844 --> 00:07:17,777
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And for the first time
since the virus,</i></font>

119
00:07:17,779 --> 00:07:19,712
<font color="#ffff00"><i>we were living somewhere
truly safe,</i></font>

120
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<font color="#ffff00"><i>making every day feel like...
Well, like Christmas morning.</i></font>

121
00:07:24,186 --> 00:07:26,923
<font color="#ffff00">Hello? Ho-ho-ho!</font>

122
00:07:28,022 --> 00:07:29,590
<font color="#ffff00">Merry Christmas!</font>

123
00:07:29,592 --> 00:07:32,258
<font color="#ffff00">- Hey, Tal.
- Santa.</font>

124
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<font color="#ffff00">What would you like for
Christmas, little girl? A pony?</font>

125
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,998
<font color="#ffff00">I'd like you to stop calling me
"little girl."</font>

126
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,234
<font color="#ffff00">Well, technically, you are
little and you're a girl.</font>

127
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:45,037
<font color="#ffff00">I am not a little girl, but
do you know what I would like?</font>

128
00:07:45,039 --> 00:07:47,308
<font color="#ffff00">I don't give a fuck
what you'd like.</font>

129
00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:49,376
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Not to
sound too sentimental,</i></font>

130
00:07:49,378 --> 00:07:52,044
<font color="#ffff00"><i>but those days
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue</i></font>

131
00:07:52,046 --> 00:07:54,314
<font color="#ffff00"><i>may have been the best days
of my life,</i></font>

132
00:07:54,316 --> 00:07:56,051
<font color="#ffff00"><i>and that's counting pre-Z.</i></font>

133
00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,020
<font color="#ffff00">Wait a second.</font>

134
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,388
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God. No.</font>

135
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:05,892
<font color="#ffff00">A first-edition Tolkien,
and you wrote in it.</font>

136
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:09,028
<font color="#ffff00">There's my name, marring this
perfectly preserved paper.</font>

137
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,696
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you. And yours too.</font>

138
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,868
<font color="#ffff00">You didn't stop.
Thank you so much.</font>

139
00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:15,902
<font color="#ffff00">It's a bit touching.</font>

140
00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:18,371
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, you know, I couldn't
find any wrapping paper,</font>

141
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,607
<font color="#ffff00">but don't worry about it.
Just tear it open.</font>

142
00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:23,243
<font color="#ffff00">It doesn't matter.
It's only Taft.</font>

143
00:08:23,245 --> 00:08:26,679
<font color="#ffff00">He was our fattest president,
so there's a lot left over</font>

144
00:08:26,681 --> 00:08:28,681
<font color="#ffff00">if you need some wrapping paper.</font>

145
00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:30,986
<font color="#ffff00">Columbus, I didn't get
anything from you.</font>

146
00:08:32,388 --> 00:08:35,154
<font color="#ffff00">Just what I wanted.
Another gun.</font>

147
00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:39,292
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, hey, well, not just any gun.
A Colt .45.</font>

148
00:08:39,294 --> 00:08:43,129
<font color="#ffff00">And not just any Colt .45.
The King's.</font>

149
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:47,267
<font color="#ffff00">- England? Denmark? Lichtenstein?
- There's only one king.</font>

150
00:08:47,269 --> 00:08:51,307
<font color="#ffff00">Elvis Aaron fucking Presley,
the greatest who ever lived.</font>

151
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:54,074
<font color="#ffff00">The king of kings.</font>

152
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:57,244
<font color="#ffff00">He gave this gun to Nixon
when he visited the White House,</font>

153
00:08:57,246 --> 00:09:01,215
<font color="#ffff00">and I give it to you,
locked and loaded.</font>

154
00:09:01,217 --> 00:09:04,651
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, he used to shoot
that Colt in his backyard.</font>

155
00:09:04,653 --> 00:09:06,585
<font color="#ffff00">King's palace,
Memphis, Tennessee.</font>

156
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,056
<font color="#ffff00">- I tell you about Graceland?
- Only a hundred times.</font>

157
00:09:09,058 --> 00:09:10,791
<font color="#ffff00">We'll go there
together someday.</font>

158
00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:13,060
<font color="#ffff00">Actually, I'm gonna go
shoot this right now.</font>

159
00:09:13,062 --> 00:09:16,263
<font color="#ffff00">I think I saw some Zs
down by the reflecting pool.</font>

160
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,998
<font color="#ffff00">- I'll go with.
- I'll go by myself.</font>

161
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,600
<font color="#ffff00">- It's Christmas.
- It's not fucking Christmas.</font>

162
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:21,636
<font color="#ffff00">It's November 17th.</font>

163
00:09:23,638 --> 00:09:26,005
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Little Rock was on the
hunt, all right,</i></font>

164
00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:27,574
<font color="#ffff00"><i>for people her own age.</i></font>

165
00:09:27,576 --> 00:09:29,442
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And the thing is,
they were out there.</i></font>

166
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,811
<font color="#ffff00"><i>We just made it a point
to keep our distance.</i></font>

167
00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:34,482
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Which would suck if you
were the one stuck in the nest.</i></font>

168
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:41,888
<font color="#ffff00">God, this is really terrifying,
but totally unrealistic.</font>

169
00:09:41,890 --> 00:09:43,456
<font color="#ffff00">Hm...</font>

170
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,659
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, she'll be fine.</font>

171
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,862
<font color="#ffff00">Wish she didn't remind me
so much of me.</font>

172
00:09:48,864 --> 00:09:50,630
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, come on.
What's wrong with you?</font>

173
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,869
<font color="#ffff00">Nothing.</font>

174
00:09:55,571 --> 00:09:57,840
<font color="#ffff00">All right.
I wasn't gonna do this now.</font>

175
00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:05,612
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Look, you always say that,
like, I play it too safe,</font>

176
00:10:05,614 --> 00:10:08,848
<font color="#ffff00">and I know we've been in,
like, a bit of a rut lately.</font>

177
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:13,189
<font color="#ffff00">So I thought, what better way
to spice things up than to...</font>

178
00:10:17,858 --> 00:10:19,558
<font color="#ffff00">Get married?</font>

179
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,128
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, well, I was gonna
say, "Get married!" Yay!</font>

180
00:10:22,130 --> 00:10:24,998
<font color="#ffff00">- Is that the Hope diamond?
- I certainly <i>hope</i> it is.</font>

181
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,533
<font color="#ffff00">I want you to be Miss Ohio.
Or I guess Mrs. Ohio.</font>

182
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:29,902
<font color="#ffff00">This is unfair.
You know how I feel about this.</font>

183
00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:31,537
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- We've talked about this.</font>

184
00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:34,575
<font color="#ffff00">In my limited, but absurdly
painful experience,</font>

185
00:10:34,577 --> 00:10:36,709
<font color="#ffff00">married people only do
one thing.</font>

186
00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:39,579
<font color="#ffff00">- What, fight? We already do that.
- Get divorced.</font>

187
00:10:39,581 --> 00:10:41,348
<font color="#ffff00">I don't see us going that route.</font>

188
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,516
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, where would
we find the lawyers?</font>

189
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:48,555
<font color="#ffff00">- I don't know what to say.
- Well, don't say anything. Yet.</font>

190
00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:51,925
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay? This was my fault.
- I put you on the spot.</font>

191
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:55,460
<font color="#ffff00">Just think about it, and let me
know whenever you're ready.</font>

192
00:10:55,462 --> 00:10:58,500
<font color="#ffff00">Everything will work out
exactly as it's supposed to.</font>

193
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,450
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, Buttercup. What's wrong?</font>

194
00:11:16,452 --> 00:11:19,085
<font color="#ffff00">Get a little too much eggnog
last night?</font>

195
00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:21,687
<font color="#ffff00">- Bad news.
- Bad news?</font>

196
00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:25,124
<font color="#ffff00">Well, you know what cancels out
bad news? Good news.</font>

197
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:27,359
<font color="#ffff00">Today is the day
that Wichita says...</font>

198
00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:28,762
<font color="#ffff00">Adios.</font>

199
00:11:28,764 --> 00:11:29,799
<font color="#ffff00">Hm?</font>

200
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:37,571
<font color="#ffff00">"Dear C and T, we feel
like total shit about leaving.</font>

201
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,775
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, not good at notes.
W and LR."</font>

202
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,176
<font color="#ffff00">Well, yeah.
"Not good at notes"</font>

203
00:11:43,178 --> 00:11:45,114
<font color="#ffff00">is a pretty huge understatement.</font>

204
00:11:46,816 --> 00:11:49,282
<font color="#ffff00">He's gonna take
this Beast thing pretty hard.</font>

205
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:52,518
<font color="#ffff00">Well, he should learn
to not get so attached.</font>

206
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,321
<font color="#ffff00">Never get attached.
Remember?</font>

207
00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:56,022
<font color="#ffff00">That was the problem
with Columbus,</font>

208
00:11:56,024 --> 00:11:57,257
<font color="#ffff00">he got too attached.</font>

209
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,859
<font color="#ffff00">Well, with Tallahassee,
it's like</font>

210
00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:00,426
<font color="#ffff00">- he thinks he's my dad.
- Sure.</font>

211
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,628
<font color="#ffff00">But you are lucky
you don't have a boyfriend.</font>

212
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,764
<font color="#ffff00">Have you seen him
use Q-tips?</font>

213
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,432
<font color="#ffff00">His bedtime routine
took an hour.</font>

214
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:09,302
<font color="#ffff00">- Stop.
- What? God, sorry.</font>

215
00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,571
<font color="#ffff00">- No, stop! Stop!
- Oh!</font>

216
00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:18,880
<font color="#ffff00">Namaste.</font>

217
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:22,550
<font color="#ffff00">Hi.</font>

218
00:12:25,419 --> 00:12:28,687
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Wichita leaving
hit me like a shotgun blast.</i></font>

219
00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:31,257
<font color="#ffff00"><i>So after weeks of feeling sorry
for myself,</i></font>

220
00:12:31,259 --> 00:12:32,926
<font color="#ffff00"><i>I thought a little
retail therapy</i></font>

221
00:12:32,928 --> 00:12:34,460
<font color="#ffff00"><i>might help get her
off my mind.</i></font>

222
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,428
<font color="#ffff00">It's not like
I wanted to start,</font>

223
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:39,166
<font color="#ffff00">wedding planning or anything.
I'm not crazy.</font>

224
00:12:39,168 --> 00:12:41,734
<font color="#ffff00">Who wants to get married
in winter? Spring, sure.</font>

225
00:12:41,736 --> 00:12:44,137
<font color="#ffff00">- Though my hair and humidity...
- Oh, my God!</font>

226
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:47,206
<font color="#ffff00">Man, I cannot listen
to this shit anymore.</font>

227
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:50,409
<font color="#ffff00">- My God, it's been over a month.
- Yeah, I'm bereft.</font>

228
00:12:50,411 --> 00:12:53,513
<font color="#ffff00">Okay, I'm giving you
one more day to mope around,</font>

229
00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:56,417
<font color="#ffff00">and then you gotta snap
the fuck out of it.</font>

230
00:12:56,419 --> 00:13:00,420
<font color="#ffff00">This whole "finding a home" idea
of yours has made us soft.</font>

231
00:13:00,422 --> 00:13:02,723
<font color="#ffff00">And by us, I mean you.</font>

232
00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:05,691
<font color="#ffff00">It's high time that we nut up
and hit the road again.</font>

233
00:13:05,693 --> 00:13:06,825
<font color="#ffff00">And by we, I mean me.</font>

234
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,094
<font color="#ffff00">That's where I belong.</font>

235
00:13:08,096 --> 00:13:10,364
<font color="#ffff00">On my own. Lone wolf.</font>

236
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:13,032
<font color="#ffff00">- You're welcome to tag along.
- But when they come back,</font>

237
00:13:13,034 --> 00:13:15,201
<font color="#ffff00">- we won't be here.
- They're never coming back!</font>

238
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:20,639
<font color="#ffff00">I got it.</font>

239
00:13:20,641 --> 00:13:23,408
<font color="#ffff00">No, no, no, no, no, no.</font>

240
00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:25,180
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Uh...</font>

241
00:13:30,217 --> 00:13:32,686
<font color="#ffff00">It was good. You shot
your alcohol with your gun.</font>

242
00:13:46,268 --> 00:13:47,533
<font color="#ffff00">Not bad, huh?</font>

243
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,638
<font color="#ffff00">Hm, no. Not bad,
but definitely no ZKOTY.</font>

244
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,274
<font color="#ffff00"><i>ZKOTY,
that is "Zombie Kill of the Year."</i></font>

245
00:13:55,276 --> 00:13:57,643
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Like a junkie in search
of a higher high,</i></font>

246
00:13:57,645 --> 00:14:00,613
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Tallahassee is no longer happy
with Zombie Kill of the Week.</i></font>

247
00:14:00,615 --> 00:14:02,382
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Which, if you're keeping score,</i></font>

248
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,718
<font color="#ffff00"><i>just went to Dave Sanderman
of Riverside, Iowa.</i></font>

249
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,152
<font color="#ffff00"><i>You may wanna set down
the Milk Duds for this one.</i></font>

250
00:14:07,154 --> 00:14:08,488
<font color="#ffff00">You dead, zombie!</font>

251
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,591
<font color="#ffff00">Whoo-whee, pig!</font>

252
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,564
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Congratulations, Dave.</i></font>

253
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,231
<font color="#ffff00">I never told you this before.</font>

254
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,601
<font color="#ffff00">In fact, I never told anybody.</font>

255
00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:28,207
<font color="#ffff00">But I have Native American blood
coursing through my veins.</font>

256
00:14:28,209 --> 00:14:32,644
<font color="#ffff00">- Like, right now?
- Yeah. Right now.</font>

257
00:14:32,646 --> 00:14:37,417
<font color="#ffff00">Blackfoot Indian to be exact.
The freest men in history.</font>

258
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,085
<font color="#ffff00">Mid-1800s, roamed the plains,</font>

259
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:43,422
<font color="#ffff00">no houses, no laws,
no possessions,</font>

260
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:47,127
<font color="#ffff00">no chiefs to report to,
no wives to listen to.</font>

261
00:14:47,129 --> 00:14:48,230
<font color="#ffff00">They listened...</font>

262
00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:51,531
<font color="#ffff00">to the call of the buffalo.</font>

263
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,300
<font color="#ffff00">And they hunted
those buffalo</font>

264
00:14:54,302 --> 00:14:59,707
<font color="#ffff00">by herding them off the cliff
to their deaths.</font>

265
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:06,012
<font color="#ffff00">- The great buffalo jump.
- Whoa.</font>

266
00:15:06,014 --> 00:15:09,882
<font color="#ffff00">I don't know why I never told
anyone about my Blackfoot blood.</font>

267
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:12,619
<font color="#ffff00">I guess it's
a sacred little secret.</font>

268
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,321
<font color="#ffff00">Honestly, you're
the first paleface</font>

269
00:15:15,323 --> 00:15:17,156
<font color="#ffff00">I have genuinely trusted</font>

270
00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:19,325
<font color="#ffff00">because you've always
been there for me.</font>

271
00:15:19,327 --> 00:15:21,793
<font color="#ffff00">You care and you listen.
You really listen...</font>

272
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,696
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Unless
you're in a 4D theater,</i></font>

273
00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:25,931
<font color="#ffff00"><i>there is no way
I can communicate</i></font>

274
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,367
<font color="#ffff00"><i>how bad Z-land smells,</i></font>

275
00:15:27,369 --> 00:15:29,802
<font color="#ffff00"><i>which is why I like candles
so much.</i></font>

276
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,805
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Today, maybe
a frosty gingerbread</i></font>

277
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,373
<font color="#ffff00"><i>or a Bahama breeze.</i></font>

278
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:34,673
<font color="#ffff00">Mmm.</font>

279
00:15:35,776 --> 00:15:37,277
<font color="#ffff00">Whoa!</font>

280
00:15:37,279 --> 00:15:40,713
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God! Please forgive me.
It's fake fur!</font>

281
00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:43,048
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
I thought you were a...</font>

282
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,218
<font color="#ffff00">- You thought I was a zombie?
- Yeah. Of course.</font>

283
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:47,086
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God, no.
I don't even eat meat.</font>

284
00:15:47,088 --> 00:15:50,090
<font color="#ffff00">I'm a vegetarian.
Vegan, actually. Heh.</font>

285
00:15:50,092 --> 00:15:53,893
<font color="#ffff00">- Sorry. Hi, I'm Columbus.
- Madison. Heh-heh.</font>

286
00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:56,362
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.</font>

287
00:15:56,364 --> 00:15:59,032
<font color="#ffff00">All right. We're hugging.
So soon. Nice to meet you.</font>

288
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:01,401
<font color="#ffff00">It's nice
to touch a human.</font>

289
00:16:01,403 --> 00:16:02,869
<font color="#ffff00">- Don't mind me.
- Oh, hello.</font>

290
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,604
<font color="#ffff00">If I can have my body?
Hi, sorry.</font>

291
00:16:04,606 --> 00:16:06,439
<font color="#ffff00">This is Tallahassee.
This is Madison.</font>

292
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:09,209
<font color="#ffff00">- Madison, Tallahassee.
- Is this your dad?</font>

293
00:16:09,211 --> 00:16:13,680
<font color="#ffff00">For shit's sake, slightly older,
better-looking friend.</font>

294
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,947
<font color="#ffff00">- Ha, ha, cute.
- You live here?</font>

295
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:20,387
<font color="#ffff00">No, Paul Blart. I live in the
freezer in Pinkberry, mm-hm.</font>

296
00:16:20,389 --> 00:16:23,656
<font color="#ffff00">It keeps the zombies out,
though it is awfully chilly.</font>

297
00:16:24,893 --> 00:16:27,226
<font color="#ffff00">Do you ever consider
turning it off?</font>

298
00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:29,396
<font color="#ffff00">Couldn't find the switch
anywhere.</font>

299
00:16:29,398 --> 00:16:31,497
<font color="#ffff00">Just hoping the electricity
would run out.</font>

300
00:16:31,499 --> 00:16:34,567
<font color="#ffff00">It's amazing. As long as it
rains, the dams give us power.</font>

301
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,137
<font color="#ffff00">Apparently not brain power.</font>

302
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,440
<font color="#ffff00">I feel like
you're being super judgy.</font>

303
00:16:40,442 --> 00:16:44,444
<font color="#ffff00">Like, I'm getting
a real anti-me vibe off of you.</font>

304
00:16:44,446 --> 00:16:46,412
<font color="#ffff00">- Are you?
- Oh, my God. There it was again.</font>

305
00:16:46,414 --> 00:16:48,580
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah, I saw it.
- And that's hurtful, okay?</font>

306
00:16:48,582 --> 00:16:50,782
<font color="#ffff00">I'm, like, really good
at surviving.</font>

307
00:16:50,784 --> 00:16:53,152
<font color="#ffff00">I carry a can of mace
with me everywhere I go.</font>

308
00:16:53,154 --> 00:16:55,654
<font color="#ffff00">And I can run really, really,
really, really fast.</font>

309
00:16:55,656 --> 00:16:58,392
<font color="#ffff00">Probably because I used to do
hot yoga and SoulCycle.</font>

310
00:16:58,394 --> 00:17:01,561
<font color="#ffff00">Cardio! Sorry, I do
a lot of cardio too.</font>

311
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:04,897
<font color="#ffff00">It's actually my number one
rule, which is so dorky.</font>

312
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,567
<font color="#ffff00">But I have a list of rules
for surviving Zombieland.</font>

313
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:08,601
<font color="#ffff00">- Really?
- Yeah.</font>

314
00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:10,469
<font color="#ffff00">- So do I!
- You have rules</font>

315
00:17:10,471 --> 00:17:12,804
<font color="#ffff00">- for surviving Zombieland?
- Mine is just mostly</font>

316
00:17:12,806 --> 00:17:14,573
<font color="#ffff00">- stay in the freezer.
- Oh.</font>

317
00:17:15,811 --> 00:17:17,409
<font color="#ffff00">You know, we set up camp,</font>

318
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,411
<font color="#ffff00">like, down the road
at the White House.</font>

319
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,282
<font color="#ffff00">The White House?
Oh, my God.</font>

320
00:17:22,284 --> 00:17:23,815
<font color="#ffff00">Would you wanna come hang out?</font>

321
00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:25,619
<font color="#ffff00">- I would love that.
- Cool.</font>

322
00:17:25,621 --> 00:17:27,587
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. How many rules
do you have?</font>

323
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:30,723
<font color="#ffff00">- You wanna know about my rules?
- I wanna hear all of them.</font>

324
00:17:30,725 --> 00:17:34,060
<font color="#ffff00">- Well, number two is double tap.
- Double tap.</font>

325
00:17:34,062 --> 00:17:36,963
<font color="#ffff00">- Double tap, yes.
- Double tap you.</font>

326
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:39,666
<font color="#ffff00">- You got me. I'm murdered.
- Ha-ha-ha.</font>

327
00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:42,100
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Okay, yeah,
I know what you're thinking.</i></font>

328
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,837
<font color="#ffff00"><i>She's absolutely not my type.</i></font>

329
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,737
<font color="#ffff00"><i>But after Wichita
broke my heart,</i></font>

330
00:17:45,739 --> 00:17:47,741
<font color="#ffff00"><i>I was just excited
to talk to somebody</i></font>

331
00:17:47,743 --> 00:17:50,644
<font color="#ffff00"><i>who smelled like a candle,
and not whiskey and gunpowder.</i></font>

332
00:17:50,646 --> 00:17:52,311
<font color="#ffff00">So Wichita and
Little Rock left.</font>

333
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:54,813
<font color="#ffff00">It was just us guys again.
You know, bachelors.</font>

334
00:17:54,815 --> 00:17:57,382
<font color="#ffff00">This guy. You know,
making a mess.</font>

335
00:17:57,384 --> 00:18:01,888
<font color="#ffff00">Which actually brings me
to rule number 53, Wet-Naps.</font>

336
00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:03,724
<font color="#ffff00">- Wow.
- Yeah.</font>

337
00:18:03,726 --> 00:18:07,659
<font color="#ffff00">I can't believe that you keep
all this stuff in your head.</font>

338
00:18:07,661 --> 00:18:08,727
<font color="#ffff00">Heh, thank you.</font>

339
00:18:08,729 --> 00:18:10,397
<font color="#ffff00">- It's amazing.
- Thank you.</font>

340
00:18:10,399 --> 00:18:12,798
<font color="#ffff00">- You know, you're really lucky.
- What?</font>

341
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,802
<font color="#ffff00">That you found someone so smart
to take care of you.</font>

342
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:20,240
<font color="#ffff00">Most people your age,
they get left all by themselves,</font>

343
00:18:20,242 --> 00:18:22,375
<font color="#ffff00">and that can be so sad.</font>

344
00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:25,844
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah. I am so lucky.
- Oh!</font>

345
00:18:27,448 --> 00:18:29,882
<font color="#ffff00">Can we have a little summit
in the Oval Office?</font>

346
00:18:29,884 --> 00:18:30,949
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, sure.</font>

347
00:18:30,951 --> 00:18:32,685
<font color="#ffff00">You guys, I can't believe</font>

348
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:36,455
<font color="#ffff00">we're in the White House.
This is soy random.</font>

349
00:18:36,457 --> 00:18:39,458
<font color="#ffff00">You got to broom this girl.
You know why she's still alive?</font>

350
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:42,696
<font color="#ffff00">Because zombies eat brains,
and she ain't got any!</font>

351
00:18:42,698 --> 00:18:44,230
<font color="#ffff00">All right? It doesn't matter</font>

352
00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:46,366
<font color="#ffff00">because I'm hitting
the road come sunup.</font>

353
00:18:46,368 --> 00:18:47,966
<font color="#ffff00">- Columbus?
- Yes?</font>

354
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:49,735
<font color="#ffff00">Could you maybe give me a tour?</font>

355
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:53,205
<font color="#ffff00">Whoa, this is the Oval Office.</font>

356
00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:55,007
<font color="#ffff00">Why do they call it that?</font>

357
00:18:57,946 --> 00:18:59,177
<font color="#ffff00">- You ready?
- You ready?</font>

358
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,579
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm ready too.
- I'm ready.</font>

359
00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:01,550
<font color="#ffff00">- Great.
- Too.</font>

360
00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:05,452
<font color="#ffff00">- Let's go.
- He's kind of funny.</font>

361
00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:07,553
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, he's great.
Try not to speak to him.</font>

362
00:19:07,555 --> 00:19:08,754
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

363
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,790
<font color="#ffff00">The main attraction.</font>

364
00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:12,425
<font color="#ffff00">Ta-da, the Lincoln bedroom.</font>

365
00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,860
<font color="#ffff00">Believe it or not,
Lincoln never even slept here.</font>

366
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,429
<font color="#ffff00">I didn't actually
want a tour, silly.</font>

367
00:19:17,431 --> 00:19:19,131
<font color="#ffff00">- What? Oh.
- Hi.</font>

368
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:20,433
<font color="#ffff00">Hi.</font>

369
00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:21,701
<font color="#ffff00">Mm-mm, mm-mm.</font>

370
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,136
<font color="#ffff00">- What's the matter?
- I don't know.</font>

371
00:19:24,138 --> 00:19:27,006
<font color="#ffff00">- Don't you think that I'm pretty?
- Yes, you're very pretty.</font>

372
00:19:27,008 --> 00:19:29,876
<font color="#ffff00">You're like, "Girl
in Apartment 406" pretty.</font>

373
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,110
<font color="#ffff00">I just... I feel
kind of guilty.</font>

374
00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:34,714
<font color="#ffff00">Because of Jesus?</font>

375
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,318
<font color="#ffff00">I know ways around that.</font>

376
00:19:40,522 --> 00:19:43,388
<font color="#ffff00">- No, no. I... Please. I can't.
- Okay, look,</font>

377
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,291
<font color="#ffff00">I've been alone in a freezer
for years.</font>

378
00:19:45,293 --> 00:19:47,127
<font color="#ffff00">So either we're doing
this right now,</font>

379
00:19:47,129 --> 00:19:51,063
<font color="#ffff00">or I am biting the bullet,
and I am doing the old guy.</font>

380
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:51,999
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

381
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,467
<font color="#ffff00">God! You're so hot!
Oh my God!</font>

382
00:19:55,469 --> 00:19:57,969
<font color="#ffff00">- It's the humidity.
- Oh, yes!</font>

383
00:20:02,509 --> 00:20:03,544
<font color="#ffff00">Holy...</font>

384
00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:08,415
<font color="#ffff00">Nutting up, definitely
not shutting up.</font>

385
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,619
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah!</font>

386
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,099
<font color="#ffff00">- Aah! Oh, shit!
- Oh! Whoa!</font>

387
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,601
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, it's Washington's
old flintlock.</font>

388
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,303
<font color="#ffff00">It's a gift to Eisenhower
from the emperor of Japan.</font>

389
00:20:32,305 --> 00:20:33,505
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, touché.</font>

390
00:20:33,507 --> 00:20:34,974
<font color="#ffff00">- I heard a strange noise.
- Yeah.</font>

391
00:20:34,976 --> 00:20:37,109
<font color="#ffff00">I've been hearing
some strange noises too.</font>

392
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,344
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah. That was us
having sex.</font>

393
00:20:39,346 --> 00:20:41,813
<font color="#ffff00">Rule number one.</font>

394
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:45,150
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, maybe rule number 32
for her.</font>

395
00:20:45,152 --> 00:20:46,188
<font color="#ffff00">What? Hey.</font>

396
00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:49,024
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Ready?</font>

397
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,491
<font color="#ffff00">- Go!
- Okay, let's go. Come on.</font>

398
00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:55,197
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, fuck. Shit.</font>

399
00:20:57,265 --> 00:20:59,866
<font color="#ffff00">- Honey, I'm home.
- Oh, my God, you're back.</font>

400
00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:02,068
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, you're back
or whatever. That's cool.</font>

401
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:04,070
<font color="#ffff00">I'm not staying.
I came to get weapons.</font>

402
00:21:04,072 --> 00:21:05,304
<font color="#ffff00">At 1:00 in the morning?</font>

403
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:06,607
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, after a month missing.</font>

404
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,009
<font color="#ffff00">Little Rock's gone.</font>

405
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:26,192
<font color="#ffff00">It was great. It felt so good
to be on the move again.</font>

406
00:21:26,194 --> 00:21:30,362
<font color="#ffff00">We've been having a really
good time here too. Together.</font>

407
00:21:30,364 --> 00:21:34,000
<font color="#ffff00">We picked up someone new.
Just a boy.</font>

408
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,369
<font color="#ffff00">He's a couple years older
than Little Rock,</font>

409
00:21:36,371 --> 00:21:37,570
<font color="#ffff00">and he's from Berkeley.</font>

410
00:21:37,572 --> 00:21:39,638
<font color="#ffff00">- Berkeley?
- Mm-hm.</font>

411
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,073
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Don't worry about a thing ♪</font>

412
00:21:41,075 --> 00:21:43,042
<font color="#ffff00">- <i>You said Berkeley?</i>
- <i>Yes.</i></font>

413
00:21:43,044 --> 00:21:46,178
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Berke-fucking-ley?</i></font>

414
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:49,983
<font color="#ffff00">- ♪ 'Cause every little thing ♪
- <i>He plays the guitar.</i></font>

415
00:21:49,985 --> 00:21:51,350
<font color="#ffff00">Shut the fuck up right now!</font>

416
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,153
<font color="#ffff00">I know what you're about
to tell me.</font>

417
00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:55,521
<font color="#ffff00">She's dating a musician!</font>

418
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:59,428
<font color="#ffff00">Come on, don't you think you're,
like, overreacting a little bit?</font>

419
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:05,098
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. Yeah. No, I could be
overreacting.</font>

420
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,834
<font color="#ffff00">I'm... I'm sorry.
You're right.</font>

421
00:22:08,236 --> 00:22:09,534
<font color="#ffff00">You go ahead.</font>

422
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,937
<font color="#ffff00">And he's a pacifist.</font>

423
00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:14,374
<font color="#ffff00">He has survived
on a strict policy</font>

424
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,745
<font color="#ffff00">of conflict avoidance,
like Gandhi.</font>

425
00:22:17,911 --> 00:22:21,246
<font color="#ffff00">No!</font>

426
00:22:21,248 --> 00:22:22,915
<font color="#ffff00">No!</font>

427
00:22:22,917 --> 00:22:26,319
<font color="#ffff00">Birkenstocks, sandals,
wheatgrass!</font>

428
00:22:26,321 --> 00:22:28,553
<font color="#ffff00">Fucking basketballs!</font>

429
00:22:37,032 --> 00:22:40,632
<font color="#ffff00">No, I really... I have
nothing against pacifists.</font>

430
00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:44,436
<font color="#ffff00">I just wanna beat
the shit out of them.</font>

431
00:22:44,438 --> 00:22:50,077
<font color="#ffff00">♪ This is my message to you ♪</font>

432
00:22:53,047 --> 00:22:57,582
<font color="#ffff00">Wow, I mean...
You have a beautiful voice.</font>

433
00:22:57,584 --> 00:23:00,452
<font color="#ffff00">- Thank you very much. Thank you.
- Yeah.</font>

434
00:23:00,454 --> 00:23:04,956
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, have you ever heard
of this place, Graceland?</font>

435
00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:08,160
<font color="#ffff00">Elvis was a fraud.
He ripped off the black man.</font>

436
00:23:08,162 --> 00:23:12,799
<font color="#ffff00">Oh. I... I don't know. I've just
always wanted to go there.</font>

437
00:23:12,801 --> 00:23:15,301
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, me too. Yeah.</font>

438
00:23:15,303 --> 00:23:20,439
<font color="#ffff00">- Graceland would be cool.
- Yeah. Yeah, it would be.</font>

439
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,474
<font color="#ffff00"><i>I was adamant
it was a dumb idea,</i></font>

440
00:23:22,476 --> 00:23:26,111
<font color="#ffff00">so I did what I never do
with her, I told her no.</font>

441
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,013
<font color="#ffff00">You can guess
what happened next.</font>

442
00:23:32,486 --> 00:23:36,658
<font color="#ffff00"><i>She left a note,
and then she hit the road.</i></font>

443
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:46,999
<font color="#ffff00">Does anyone else
get the irony in that? Huh?</font>

444
00:23:47,001 --> 00:23:49,636
<font color="#ffff00">I'm so worried, you guys.</font>

445
00:23:49,638 --> 00:23:51,204
<font color="#ffff00">They're traveling
all that way,</font>

446
00:23:51,206 --> 00:23:53,105
<font color="#ffff00">and all they have
is a fucking guitar.</font>

447
00:23:53,107 --> 00:23:55,841
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, with no intention
of ever swinging it at anything.</font>

448
00:23:55,843 --> 00:23:57,443
<font color="#ffff00">You know, because
he's a hippie.</font>

449
00:23:57,445 --> 00:23:59,311
<font color="#ffff00">She's supposed to be
killing the dead,</font>

450
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,379
<font color="#ffff00">- not following them.
- Oh, God.</font>

451
00:24:01,381 --> 00:24:03,314
<font color="#ffff00">There's something going on
out there.</font>

452
00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:05,551
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- Berkeley told us</font>

453
00:24:05,553 --> 00:24:07,352
<font color="#ffff00">about this new kind of zombie</font>

454
00:24:07,354 --> 00:24:09,856
<font color="#ffff00">that's stronger, and faster,</font>

455
00:24:09,858 --> 00:24:13,492
<font color="#ffff00">and deadlier and better
adapted to the hunt.</font>

456
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,727
<font color="#ffff00">I'm sorry, but that
sounds totally made up.</font>

457
00:24:15,729 --> 00:24:17,929
<font color="#ffff00">If you want us to come
with you, just ask us.</font>

458
00:24:17,931 --> 00:24:20,432
<font color="#ffff00">Honestly, I just came back
for guns and ammunition.</font>

459
00:24:20,434 --> 00:24:22,234
<font color="#ffff00">Come on. Stop begging.
We'll do it.</font>

460
00:24:22,236 --> 00:24:23,903
<font color="#ffff00">You know, this is
all your fault.</font>

461
00:24:23,905 --> 00:24:25,670
<font color="#ffff00">- Me?
- If you hadn't pushed her away...</font>

462
00:24:25,672 --> 00:24:27,040
<font color="#ffff00">Well,
not exactly, no.</font>

463
00:24:27,042 --> 00:24:28,407
<font color="#ffff00">I didn't just run
from him.</font>

464
00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:29,745
<font color="#ffff00">She ran from you too.</font>

465
00:24:31,411 --> 00:24:32,546
<font color="#ffff00">What?</font>

466
00:24:33,915 --> 00:24:36,881
<font color="#ffff00">You... You mean well,
but you're...</font>

467
00:24:36,883 --> 00:24:38,219
<font color="#ffff00">kind of overbearing.</font>

468
00:24:39,419 --> 00:24:41,853
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, right.
I'm overbearing?</font>

469
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,388
<font color="#ffff00">She's not a kid
anymore.</font>

470
00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:45,357
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, she's not a kid,
but I don't know,</font>

471
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,992
<font color="#ffff00">it sounds like
she needs us.</font>

472
00:24:46,994 --> 00:24:49,130
<font color="#ffff00">Whatever.
We're gonna go get her.</font>

473
00:24:50,230 --> 00:24:52,432
<font color="#ffff00">We ride at dawn.</font>

474
00:24:52,434 --> 00:24:54,903
<font color="#ffff00">Once she's safe,
I'm going my own way.</font>

475
00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:01,107
<font color="#ffff00">So no goodbye,
just like...</font>

476
00:25:01,109 --> 00:25:03,109
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah, I'm terrible at notes.
- A lame note.</font>

477
00:25:03,111 --> 00:25:05,746
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I know. You mentioned
that in the note.</font>

478
00:25:07,015 --> 00:25:09,316
<font color="#ffff00">Uh, I, uh...</font>

479
00:25:10,817 --> 00:25:14,154
<font color="#ffff00">I might have overreacted
a little bit.</font>

480
00:25:14,156 --> 00:25:16,288
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, the proposal
kind of spooked me.</font>

481
00:25:16,290 --> 00:25:17,723
<font color="#ffff00">Mm-hm.</font>

482
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,528
<font color="#ffff00">You know what
I'm trying to say.</font>

483
00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:23,094
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, God. I'm sorry.</font>

484
00:25:23,096 --> 00:25:25,164
<font color="#ffff00">You know how hard it is
for me to say that</font>

485
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:27,500
<font color="#ffff00">because I hate women
who are always apologizing</font>

486
00:25:27,502 --> 00:25:29,901
<font color="#ffff00">for things they have
no reason to apologize for.</font>

487
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:34,842
<font color="#ffff00">But in this particular instance,
I actually am really sorry.</font>

488
00:25:36,944 --> 00:25:40,079
<font color="#ffff00">Well, thank you.
That actually does mean a lot.</font>

489
00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:42,314
<font color="#ffff00">I don't know.
Maybe this could be like a...</font>

490
00:25:42,316 --> 00:25:43,919
<font color="#ffff00">Like a turning point for us.</font>

491
00:25:44,986 --> 00:25:46,918
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, maybe.</font>

492
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,789
<font color="#ffff00">Columbus,
you coming back to bed?</font>

493
00:25:54,996 --> 00:25:56,128
<font color="#ffff00">Wow.</font>

494
00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:58,296
<font color="#ffff00">Oh... Oh, boy.</font>

495
00:25:58,298 --> 00:26:00,034
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, wow!</font>

496
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:07,042
<font color="#ffff00">Glad we had this little talk.
Real turning point.</font>

497
00:26:09,009 --> 00:26:10,077
<font color="#ffff00">Hi.</font>

498
00:26:12,813 --> 00:26:15,516
<font color="#ffff00">- Is that your sister?
- Oh, fuck.</font>

499
00:26:20,021 --> 00:26:21,721
<font color="#ffff00">You definitely
don't need any help.</font>

500
00:26:21,723 --> 00:26:22,888
<font color="#ffff00">- No, I've got it.
- Cool.</font>

501
00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:24,357
<font color="#ffff00">The Beast is back.</font>

502
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,959
<font color="#ffff00">I cannot wait to get my hands
behind the...</font>

503
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:31,696
<font color="#ffff00">What the fuck?</font>

504
00:26:31,698 --> 00:26:34,667
<font color="#ffff00">No, no, no, no, no.</font>

505
00:26:34,669 --> 00:26:39,205
<font color="#ffff00">No way is that GD minivan
even sniffing at Graceland,</font>

506
00:26:39,207 --> 00:26:42,808
<font color="#ffff00">home to perhaps
America's finest automobile,</font>

507
00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:46,446
<font color="#ffff00">Elvis' 1955 Fleetwood Series 60.</font>

508
00:26:46,448 --> 00:26:51,149
<font color="#ffff00">No. You know, it takes a real
man to drive a pink Cadillac.</font>

509
00:26:52,352 --> 00:26:55,455
<font color="#ffff00">Might make that
a rule of my own.</font>

510
00:26:55,457 --> 00:26:56,955
<font color="#ffff00">On second thought, fuck that,</font>

511
00:26:56,957 --> 00:26:58,991
<font color="#ffff00">rules are for pussies.
Nothing personal.</font>

512
00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,994
<font color="#ffff00">How could it not be?
That's my thing.</font>

513
00:27:00,996 --> 00:27:02,727
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, you're right.
It was personal.</font>

514
00:27:02,729 --> 00:27:04,330
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. It's gonna be okay.</font>

515
00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:05,965
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Even Tallahassee knows</i></font>

516
00:27:05,967 --> 00:27:07,398
<font color="#ffff00"><i>beggars can't be choosers.</i></font>

517
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,468
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Vehicles with working batteries
and parts</i></font>

518
00:27:09,470 --> 00:27:11,236
<font color="#ffff00"><i>are way scarcer nowadays,</i></font>

519
00:27:11,238 --> 00:27:13,738
<font color="#ffff00"><i>thanks to years
of neglect and decline.</i></font>

520
00:27:13,740 --> 00:27:14,907
<font color="#ffff00">Breakaway mirror.</font>

521
00:27:14,909 --> 00:27:16,742
<font color="#ffff00"><i>We can't be so picky anymore.</i></font>

522
00:27:16,744 --> 00:27:18,944
<font color="#ffff00">- Clear.
- What? Oh, okay.</font>

523
00:27:18,946 --> 00:27:20,878
<font color="#ffff00">- Booyah.
- Okay.</font>

524
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,316
<font color="#ffff00">Heh!</font>

525
00:27:25,586 --> 00:27:28,020
<font color="#ffff00">- This never happened.
- I'll get the door.</font>

526
00:27:28,022 --> 00:27:30,258
<font color="#ffff00">I got it.
I'm gonna lay in the back.</font>

527
00:27:31,626 --> 00:27:33,524
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, catch.
- Oh!</font>

528
00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:36,261
<font color="#ffff00">Shoot. Heh, I got it!</font>

529
00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:39,764
<font color="#ffff00">What in the butt?</font>

530
00:27:39,766 --> 00:27:41,600
<font color="#ffff00">- Ah, shit.
- What?</font>

531
00:27:41,602 --> 00:27:42,868
<font color="#ffff00">- Hi!
- Hi.</font>

532
00:27:44,505 --> 00:27:46,071
<font color="#ffff00">Are we dropping her off</font>

533
00:27:46,073 --> 00:27:47,773
<font color="#ffff00">at an animal shelter
or something?</font>

534
00:27:47,775 --> 00:27:49,073
<font color="#ffff00">She's a human being.</font>

535
00:27:49,075 --> 00:27:51,076
<font color="#ffff00">We're not gonna
leave her here alone.</font>

536
00:27:51,078 --> 00:27:54,013
<font color="#ffff00">We can't
just leave Columbus' girlfriend.</font>

537
00:27:54,015 --> 00:27:55,446
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

538
00:27:55,448 --> 00:27:56,749
<font color="#ffff00">A minivan. Nice.</font>

539
00:27:56,751 --> 00:27:58,082
<font color="#ffff00">I'm not gonna feel guilty.</font>

540
00:27:58,084 --> 00:27:59,685
<font color="#ffff00">You left me in
the harshest way.</font>

541
00:27:59,687 --> 00:28:00,887
<font color="#ffff00">You recovered quickly.</font>

542
00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:02,888
<font color="#ffff00">- Well, thank you.
- Can you help me?</font>

543
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:04,389
<font color="#ffff00">- I got it.
- Okay.</font>

544
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:06,090
<font color="#ffff00">- It's just, like, heavy.
- No problem.</font>

545
00:28:06,092 --> 00:28:07,859
<font color="#ffff00">- Thank you.
- Go ahead, get in.</font>

546
00:28:07,861 --> 00:28:09,997
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. You are so nice.</font>

547
00:28:18,105 --> 00:28:22,108
<font color="#ffff00">Ah, Makkapitew, Askuwheteau,
Sunukkuhkau...</font>

548
00:28:22,110 --> 00:28:23,641
<font color="#ffff00">Is he having a seizure?</font>

549
00:28:23,643 --> 00:28:26,110
<font color="#ffff00">I'm trying out
Blackfoot names,</font>

550
00:28:26,112 --> 00:28:28,848
<font color="#ffff00">so full shushy or you
go back in your mall fridge.</font>

551
00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,282
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

552
00:28:30,284 --> 00:28:33,185
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, I didn't tell you.
We met at the mall.</font>

553
00:28:33,187 --> 00:28:36,455
<font color="#ffff00">- Mm.
- Yeah. I was living there.</font>

554
00:28:36,457 --> 00:28:38,358
<font color="#ffff00">Like <i>Dawn of the Dead.</i></font>

555
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,827
<font color="#ffff00">Last I checked,
it's the post-acropolis.</font>

556
00:28:41,829 --> 00:28:45,763
<font color="#ffff00">It was so sad when
the acropolis struck.</font>

557
00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:47,300
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I know.</font>

558
00:28:47,302 --> 00:28:49,667
<font color="#ffff00">Madison, can you remind me,
when we first met,</font>

559
00:28:49,669 --> 00:28:51,802
<font color="#ffff00">did you point a gun at me
and steal my car?</font>

560
00:28:51,804 --> 00:28:54,439
<font color="#ffff00">No. When we first met,</font>

561
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,775
<font color="#ffff00">I told you
you were really smart.</font>

562
00:28:56,777 --> 00:29:00,478
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, yeah.
- And then I slept with you.</font>

563
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,946
<font color="#ffff00">That's right. You did.</font>

564
00:29:04,485 --> 00:29:07,418
<font color="#ffff00">Road trip! Here we go!</font>

565
00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:09,655
<font color="#ffff00">This is gonna be a long drive.</font>

566
00:29:18,698 --> 00:29:21,634
<font color="#ffff00">I love the smell of
gunpowder in the morning.</font>

567
00:29:21,636 --> 00:29:24,105
<font color="#ffff00">Eh, I'm more of
a patchouli oil guy myself.</font>

568
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:29,474
<font color="#ffff00">You don't...
You don't have weed, do you?</font>

569
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:32,811
<font color="#ffff00">I've always wanted to smoke
way too much weed.</font>

570
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:34,413
<font color="#ffff00">Do I look like
the type of person</font>

571
00:29:34,415 --> 00:29:36,648
<font color="#ffff00">that would have weed on me?</font>

572
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:39,517
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, no. I w... That...
I'm sorry, that was...</font>

573
00:29:39,519 --> 00:29:41,887
<font color="#ffff00">- Boom, yeah.
- Ha! Oh.</font>

574
00:29:41,889 --> 00:29:44,357
<font color="#ffff00">- Of course I do. Oh, I love weed.
- You got me there.</font>

575
00:29:44,359 --> 00:29:47,092
<font color="#ffff00">- Look. I mean, look at me.
- Yeah.</font>

576
00:29:47,094 --> 00:29:52,166
<font color="#ffff00">I wanted to say it's really nice
to have another woman around.</font>

577
00:29:53,868 --> 00:29:55,033
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

578
00:29:55,035 --> 00:29:58,203
<font color="#ffff00">Like to talk
about relationships.</font>

579
00:29:58,205 --> 00:30:00,408
<font color="#ffff00">- Recipes.
- Rings.</font>

580
00:30:01,507 --> 00:30:03,743
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God.</font>

581
00:30:03,745 --> 00:30:05,346
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, my God.
- Oh, shit.</font>

582
00:30:06,846 --> 00:30:09,715
<font color="#ffff00">I know! I found it
in the bedside drawer.</font>

583
00:30:09,717 --> 00:30:12,050
<font color="#ffff00">I think it belonged
to the first lady or...</font>

584
00:30:12,052 --> 00:30:13,820
<font color="#ffff00">You know what?
I think you're right.</font>

585
00:30:13,822 --> 00:30:16,687
<font color="#ffff00">It did belong
to the first lady.</font>

586
00:30:16,689 --> 00:30:19,190
<font color="#ffff00">Well, I think it was given
to the first lady,</font>

587
00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:20,891
<font color="#ffff00">but she heartlessly
rejected it.</font>

588
00:30:20,893 --> 00:30:25,097
<font color="#ffff00">What kind of idiot would
turn down a ring like this?</font>

589
00:30:25,099 --> 00:30:29,267
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe an idiot who didn't
wanna be weighed down.</font>

590
00:30:29,269 --> 00:30:31,637
<font color="#ffff00">Anchored. Chained
to something immobile.</font>

591
00:30:31,639 --> 00:30:32,737
<font color="#ffff00">Hmm...</font>

592
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:39,078
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, shit. Are you okay?
- Oh, shoot!</font>

593
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,745
<font color="#ffff00">Forgot the seatbelt rule.</font>

594
00:30:40,747 --> 00:30:43,081
<font color="#ffff00">So she knows the rules?</font>

595
00:30:43,083 --> 00:30:44,882
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I told her
just a few of them.</font>

596
00:30:44,884 --> 00:30:48,620
<font color="#ffff00">- Seventy-three. Are there more?
- Nope, that's it.</font>

597
00:30:48,622 --> 00:30:50,755
<font color="#ffff00">- I gotta check this out.
- You guys have spent</font>

598
00:30:50,757 --> 00:30:52,358
<font color="#ffff00">a lot of time together, huh?</font>

599
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:53,926
<font color="#ffff00">That's sweet.</font>

600
00:30:53,928 --> 00:30:56,795
<font color="#ffff00">You're cute together.
I like it.</font>

601
00:30:56,797 --> 00:30:58,629
<font color="#ffff00">Oh!</font>

602
00:31:06,540 --> 00:31:07,809
<font color="#ffff00">This looks promising.</font>

603
00:31:15,149 --> 00:31:17,782
<font color="#ffff00">He's so flexible.</font>

604
00:31:17,784 --> 00:31:20,252
<font color="#ffff00">That's what's so great
about him. He's very bendy.</font>

605
00:31:20,254 --> 00:31:22,620
<font color="#ffff00">Ohio, whenever
you're done with that...</font>

606
00:31:22,622 --> 00:31:23,725
<font color="#ffff00">What? Yeah.</font>

607
00:31:26,494 --> 00:31:27,926
<font color="#ffff00">Ah!</font>

608
00:31:27,928 --> 00:31:29,461
<font color="#ffff00">What? No. No, no, no.</font>

609
00:31:29,463 --> 00:31:30,829
<font color="#ffff00">No way. Nonstarter.</font>

610
00:31:30,831 --> 00:31:32,863
<font color="#ffff00">You know how I feel
about clowns.</font>

611
00:31:32,865 --> 00:31:34,766
<font color="#ffff00">- No, not that.
- What?</font>

612
00:31:34,768 --> 00:31:37,137
<font color="#ffff00">- That.
- Oh.</font>

613
00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:41,176
<font color="#ffff00">- Looks good.
- Mm.</font>

614
00:31:42,342 --> 00:31:44,042
<font color="#ffff00">- Can I see?
- Hm?</font>

615
00:31:44,044 --> 00:31:45,377
<font color="#ffff00">Can I see?</font>

616
00:31:45,379 --> 00:31:48,446
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. Here you go. Yeah.</font>

617
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:55,620
<font color="#ffff00">- The old man is so tiny.
- Can you see that?</font>

618
00:31:56,990 --> 00:31:59,125
<font color="#ffff00">What's-his-name,
you're so tiny.</font>

619
00:31:59,127 --> 00:32:00,493
<font color="#ffff00">Now you're not.
Now you are.</font>

620
00:32:00,495 --> 00:32:01,926
<font color="#ffff00">Now you're not. Now you are.</font>

621
00:32:01,928 --> 00:32:04,096
<font color="#ffff00">Now you're not. Now you are.
Now you're not.</font>

622
00:32:04,098 --> 00:32:05,996
<font color="#ffff00">Tiny. Big. Tiny!</font>

623
00:32:05,998 --> 00:32:09,367
<font color="#ffff00">- She is adorable.
- She is. I'm lucky.</font>

624
00:32:09,369 --> 00:32:11,270
<font color="#ffff00">Tiny. Big. Tiny.</font>

625
00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:14,706
<font color="#ffff00">You're overreacting, okay?</font>

626
00:32:14,708 --> 00:32:16,274
<font color="#ffff00">Madison's not
a real thing.</font>

627
00:32:16,276 --> 00:32:19,043
<font color="#ffff00">It was just circumstance.
It was a lack of options.</font>

628
00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:20,946
<font color="#ffff00">You could say
the same thing about us.</font>

629
00:32:20,948 --> 00:32:23,615
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- Circumstance, lack of options.</font>

630
00:32:23,617 --> 00:32:25,150
<font color="#ffff00">Really? You really think that?</font>

631
00:32:25,152 --> 00:32:26,985
<font color="#ffff00">Whereas you two seem
like soul mates.</font>

632
00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:28,753
<font color="#ffff00">Destined to share
deep thoughts.</font>

633
00:32:28,755 --> 00:32:31,090
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe you're right,
maybe we are soul mates.</font>

634
00:32:31,092 --> 00:32:33,759
<font color="#ffff00">Because she's nice, all right?
And I'm nice.</font>

635
00:32:33,761 --> 00:32:35,394
<font color="#ffff00">And you're not.
You're mean.</font>

636
00:32:35,396 --> 00:32:38,397
<font color="#ffff00">- Whatever. I'm not mean.
- Yeah, you're kind of mean.</font>

637
00:32:38,399 --> 00:32:40,665
<font color="#ffff00">Well, my sister is missing.
She could be dead.</font>

638
00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:42,701
<font color="#ffff00">You're screwing
some Forever 21-year-old.</font>

639
00:32:42,703 --> 00:32:44,436
<font color="#ffff00">So if I wanna be mean,
I'll be mean.</font>

640
00:32:44,438 --> 00:32:46,105
<font color="#ffff00">I don't have
the right shoes.</font>

641
00:32:46,107 --> 00:32:48,840
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, you could borrow
a pair of my strappy sandals.</font>

642
00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:49,910
<font color="#ffff00">- Really?
- Mm-hm.</font>

643
00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:55,480
<font color="#ffff00">Kidding. You... She was ki...
You guys are all very sarcastic.</font>

644
00:32:55,482 --> 00:32:58,649
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, they're not nice people.
Sorry. Just try to ignore them.</font>

645
00:32:58,651 --> 00:33:01,587
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah. Yeah. Ignore us.
- Please, God, ignore us.</font>

646
00:33:01,589 --> 00:33:03,124
<font color="#ffff00">Ah, see? Mean.</font>

647
00:33:05,993 --> 00:33:08,159
<font color="#ffff00">All right!</font>

648
00:33:08,161 --> 00:33:09,828
<font color="#ffff00">This is what
I'm talking about.</font>

649
00:33:09,830 --> 00:33:12,231
<font color="#ffff00">We're finally gonna be
riding in style.</font>

650
00:33:12,233 --> 00:33:15,734
<font color="#ffff00">I partied with 3 Doors Down
in one of these. It was so...</font>

651
00:33:15,736 --> 00:33:17,668
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, shit.</font>

652
00:33:22,342 --> 00:33:23,440
<font color="#ffff00">What?</font>

653
00:33:24,611 --> 00:33:26,211
<font color="#ffff00">Man, we're getting
good at this.</font>

654
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:28,246
<font color="#ffff00">- Columbus.
- Tallahassee.</font>

655
00:33:28,248 --> 00:33:29,749
<font color="#ffff00">- The hood is 12 o'clock.
- Yes.</font>

656
00:33:29,751 --> 00:33:31,653
<font color="#ffff00">Trunk is 6. You're our eyes.</font>

657
00:33:33,153 --> 00:33:35,153
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, don't worry,
you guys.</font>

658
00:33:35,155 --> 00:33:38,255
<font color="#ffff00">They are much more afraid of us
than we are of them.</font>

659
00:33:38,257 --> 00:33:40,992
<font color="#ffff00">God, that is not even
remotely true.</font>

660
00:33:40,994 --> 00:33:43,628
<font color="#ffff00">- Well, what do I do?
- You know how cheerleaders</font>

661
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:45,063
<font color="#ffff00">- form a pyramid?
- Yeah.</font>

662
00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:46,499
<font color="#ffff00">And the three on the bottom</font>

663
00:33:46,501 --> 00:33:48,399
<font color="#ffff00">- anchor the pyramid?
- Oh, yeah.</font>

664
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:51,403
<font color="#ffff00">I don't give a shit what you do,
just stay out of my way.</font>

665
00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:53,804
<font color="#ffff00">Okay, 8 o'clock. Eight o'clock.</font>

666
00:33:53,806 --> 00:33:57,109
<font color="#ffff00">Did you say the front was 12?
Oh, fuck me. Sorry. Two o'clock.</font>

667
00:33:57,111 --> 00:34:00,078
<font color="#ffff00">Eleven! Eleven! Seven-thirty!</font>

668
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,214
<font color="#ffff00">Six o'clock. Six!</font>

669
00:34:02,216 --> 00:34:04,049
<font color="#ffff00">I'll get 6.</font>

670
00:34:05,151 --> 00:34:06,484
<font color="#ffff00">Uh, shit. One-fifteen.</font>

671
00:34:06,486 --> 00:34:07,486
<font color="#ffff00">One-thirteen, 1:20.</font>

672
00:34:07,488 --> 00:34:08,887
<font color="#ffff00">It's moving that way.</font>

673
00:34:08,889 --> 00:34:10,655
<font color="#ffff00">Why is everyone
shouting numbers?</font>

674
00:34:10,657 --> 00:34:12,090
<font color="#ffff00">Eleven!</font>

675
00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:13,126
<font color="#ffff00">- Twelve!
- Six!</font>

676
00:34:14,829 --> 00:34:16,461
<font color="#ffff00">Two o'clock!</font>

677
00:34:16,463 --> 00:34:17,365
<font color="#ffff00">Eight.</font>

678
00:34:18,832 --> 00:34:20,802
<font color="#ffff00">- Six o'clock.
- Shit.</font>

679
00:34:24,305 --> 00:34:25,873
<font color="#ffff00">One o'clock. Six-thirty.</font>

680
00:34:28,008 --> 00:34:29,707
<font color="#ffff00">Ten! Eight!</font>

681
00:34:30,778 --> 00:34:31,943
<font color="#ffff00">- Eight!
- Shit.</font>

682
00:34:33,012 --> 00:34:34,111
<font color="#ffff00">Shit!</font>

683
00:34:39,820 --> 00:34:42,521
<font color="#ffff00">- Narsty!
- Thank you.</font>

684
00:34:42,523 --> 00:34:43,521
<font color="#ffff00">You're welcome.</font>

685
00:34:43,523 --> 00:34:45,457
<font color="#ffff00">One o'clock! Two-thirty.</font>

686
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:46,561
<font color="#ffff00">Three! One!</font>

687
00:34:48,361 --> 00:34:49,664
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. I'll get 3.</font>

688
00:34:51,465 --> 00:34:52,664
<font color="#ffff00">Right on time, Columbus.</font>

689
00:34:54,535 --> 00:34:55,733
<font color="#ffff00">One o'clock! Ten-thirty!</font>

690
00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:00,171
<font color="#ffff00">Eleven! Eleven!</font>

691
00:35:00,173 --> 00:35:01,874
<font color="#ffff00">Actually, it's a Homer.</font>

692
00:35:01,876 --> 00:35:04,809
<font color="#ffff00">Abort! Abort 11.
Don't waste a bullet.</font>

693
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:07,845
<font color="#ffff00">- Hawking! Hawking!
- What? Oh, shit!</font>

694
00:35:14,155 --> 00:35:15,454
<font color="#ffff00">Yay!</font>

695
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:19,057
<font color="#ffff00">- Aah, he's trying to bite me!
- Ninja! Ninja!</font>

696
00:35:19,059 --> 00:35:20,327
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God!</font>

697
00:35:22,028 --> 00:35:24,195
<font color="#ffff00">You saved me.</font>

698
00:35:24,197 --> 00:35:25,499
<font color="#ffff00">All right. Settle down.</font>

699
00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:32,870
<font color="#ffff00">- Hey, Tal, 1 o'clock.
- Pardon me, Pop-Tart.</font>

700
00:35:32,872 --> 00:35:34,573
<font color="#ffff00">Not quite done yet.</font>

701
00:35:43,849 --> 00:35:45,184
<font color="#ffff00">What the fuck?</font>

702
00:35:49,724 --> 00:35:51,559
<font color="#ffff00">Try to dodge me, motherfucker.</font>

703
00:35:53,427 --> 00:35:57,195
<font color="#ffff00"><i>This was our first T-800,</i></font>

704
00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:59,597
<font color="#ffff00"><i>named for the Terminator
it-fucking-self.</i></font>

705
00:35:59,599 --> 00:36:00,731
<font color="#ffff00">Uh...</font>

706
00:36:00,733 --> 00:36:02,666
<font color="#ffff00">- Tal?
- Yup?</font>

707
00:36:06,773 --> 00:36:09,740
<font color="#ffff00"><i>T-800s were a
mutated strain of zombie,</i></font>

708
00:36:09,742 --> 00:36:12,880
<font color="#ffff00"><i>stronger, deadlier
and harder to kill.</i></font>

709
00:36:14,615 --> 00:36:17,452
<font color="#ffff00">One plus one
is still two, right?</font>

710
00:36:24,057 --> 00:36:28,426
<font color="#ffff00"><i>They were the apex
predator, top of the food chain.</i></font>

711
00:36:28,428 --> 00:36:31,262
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Single-minded and relentless
like their namesake,</i></font>

712
00:36:31,264 --> 00:36:33,030
<font color="#ffff00"><i>once they locked on
to a target,</i></font>

713
00:36:33,032 --> 00:36:35,635
<font color="#ffff00"><i>T-800s stopped at nothing
to devour their prey.</i></font>

714
00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:38,939
<font color="#ffff00">What the ever-loving fuck?</font>

715
00:36:51,151 --> 00:36:52,684
<font color="#ffff00">Ew.</font>

716
00:36:52,686 --> 00:36:54,787
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Seeing that T-800 firsthand</i></font>

717
00:36:54,789 --> 00:36:56,320
<font color="#ffff00"><i>was all the more worrisome</i></font>

718
00:36:56,322 --> 00:36:58,289
<font color="#ffff00"><i>knowing that Little Rock
was out there</i></font>

719
00:36:58,291 --> 00:37:00,495
<font color="#ffff00"><i>with nothing but a hippie
and a guitar.</i></font>

720
00:37:01,662 --> 00:37:06,501
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Like a rollin' stone ♪</font>

721
00:37:08,468 --> 00:37:11,836
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.
That song is amazing.</font>

722
00:37:11,838 --> 00:37:12,970
<font color="#ffff00">Did you write that?</font>

723
00:37:15,409 --> 00:37:17,108
<font color="#ffff00">Wa... Was that a dumb question?</font>

724
00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:19,477
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, I was like 11
when the zombies took over.</font>

725
00:37:19,479 --> 00:37:20,745
<font color="#ffff00">Not a dumb question.</font>

726
00:37:20,747 --> 00:37:22,314
<font color="#ffff00">I was laughing
because you think</font>

727
00:37:22,316 --> 00:37:23,914
<font color="#ffff00">I'd play some
stupid cover song.</font>

728
00:37:23,916 --> 00:37:25,117
<font color="#ffff00">Of course I wrote it.</font>

729
00:37:25,119 --> 00:37:26,318
<font color="#ffff00">If you love that,</font>

730
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,287
<font color="#ffff00">then you're really
gonna love this.</font>

731
00:37:28,289 --> 00:37:32,122
<font color="#ffff00">But it's a work in progress,
so be gentle.</font>

732
00:37:33,461 --> 00:37:38,198
<font color="#ffff00">♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪</font>

733
00:37:40,733 --> 00:37:44,905
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Would you still remember me? ♪</font>

734
00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:51,309
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I
must be traveling Onward... ♪</i></font>

735
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:54,845
<font color="#ffff00">- A poem by Tallahassee.
- Ah!</font>

736
00:37:54,847 --> 00:38:01,186
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Traveling to Graceland
In comfort and class</i></font>

737
00:38:01,188 --> 00:38:05,590
<font color="#ffff00"><i>That Pontiac Trans Sport
Can kiss my ass</i></font>

738
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:11,495
<font color="#ffff00">- Very good! Very good.
- Here we go, baby! Woo-hoo!</font>

739
00:38:11,497 --> 00:38:14,666
<font color="#ffff00">Let's go see the King
and let's go get Little Rock!</font>

740
00:38:20,307 --> 00:38:21,907
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ 'Cause I'm as free... ♪</i></font>

741
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,615
<font color="#ffff00">- Did... Did we just get...
- Shorter?</font>

742
00:38:30,751 --> 00:38:32,186
<font color="#ffff00">I say we take the clown car.</font>

743
00:38:33,521 --> 00:38:35,419
<font color="#ffff00">No, no, no. No!
That is a deal-breaker.</font>

744
00:38:35,421 --> 00:38:37,090
<font color="#ffff00">No fucking clowns!</font>

745
00:38:44,298 --> 00:38:48,533
<font color="#ffff00">In moments of great dishonor
such as this,</font>

746
00:38:48,535 --> 00:38:53,370
<font color="#ffff00">ancient samurai warriors
were required to commit seppuku,</font>

747
00:38:53,372 --> 00:38:58,278
<font color="#ffff00">or ritual suicide
by disembowelment.</font>

748
00:39:03,150 --> 00:39:04,649
<font color="#ffff00">My mom had this car.</font>

749
00:39:04,651 --> 00:39:06,917
<font color="#ffff00">- So did mine.
- So did mine.</font>

750
00:39:10,456 --> 00:39:12,423
<font color="#ffff00">Fucking minivan.</font>

751
00:39:12,425 --> 00:39:14,758
<font color="#ffff00">Back on the road, yay!</font>

752
00:39:25,039 --> 00:39:27,372
<font color="#ffff00">I've always wanted
to start a business</font>

753
00:39:27,374 --> 00:39:31,041
<font color="#ffff00">where strangers drive strangers
around in their car</font>

754
00:39:31,043 --> 00:39:33,111
<font color="#ffff00">- for money.
- Mm.</font>

755
00:39:33,113 --> 00:39:36,247
<font color="#ffff00">Let's say you were really
drunk and needed a ride home.</font>

756
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,749
<font color="#ffff00">You'd just get online</font>

757
00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:39,718
<font color="#ffff00">and hop right in
with a stranger.</font>

758
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:42,352
<font color="#ffff00">And they'd take you
anywhere you wanna go.</font>

759
00:39:42,354 --> 00:39:44,923
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, yeah. Who then kills you.
- Yeah. Ha, ha!</font>

760
00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:47,693
<font color="#ffff00">They'd have gum
or, like, lollipops.</font>

761
00:39:47,695 --> 00:39:49,461
<font color="#ffff00">That was what my parents
taught me.</font>

762
00:39:49,463 --> 00:39:53,164
<font color="#ffff00">They were like, "If a stranger
offers you candy or gum,</font>

763
00:39:53,166 --> 00:39:54,633
<font color="#ffff00">get in their car."
Great idea.</font>

764
00:39:54,635 --> 00:39:56,334
<font color="#ffff00">If they try to murder you,</font>

765
00:39:56,336 --> 00:39:58,470
<font color="#ffff00">you can have a system
so you can rate them.</font>

766
00:39:58,472 --> 00:40:01,173
<font color="#ffff00">If they try to murder you,
like, "You get zero points."</font>

767
00:40:01,175 --> 00:40:04,642
<font color="#ffff00">But if they don't try to murder
you, "You get five points."</font>

768
00:40:04,644 --> 00:40:07,111
<font color="#ffff00">Madison, I think it is
a very good idea.</font>

769
00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,648
<font color="#ffff00">That's... No, I cannot
see that going wrong.</font>

770
00:40:09,650 --> 00:40:12,684
<font color="#ffff00">All I'm saying is the
taxi industry was very flawed.</font>

771
00:40:15,655 --> 00:40:17,990
<font color="#ffff00">- Mm, oop...
- Are you okay?</font>

772
00:40:17,992 --> 00:40:20,758
<font color="#ffff00">I think I'm, like, hot.
I'm hot.</font>

773
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,292
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah?
- Mm-hm.</font>

774
00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:24,662
<font color="#ffff00">I'm used to being in
the freezer all the time.</font>

775
00:40:24,664 --> 00:40:27,532
<font color="#ffff00">- Get this off.
- Yeah. Sure. That makes sense.</font>

776
00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:36,809
<font color="#ffff00">I feel funny. My tongue...</font>

777
00:40:36,811 --> 00:40:38,776
<font color="#ffff00">My tongue... My tongue...</font>

778
00:40:38,778 --> 00:40:40,477
<font color="#ffff00">Boss?
You're gonna wanna pull over.</font>

779
00:40:41,615 --> 00:40:42,914
<font color="#ffff00">- No.
- Pull over.</font>

780
00:40:42,916 --> 00:40:44,314
<font color="#ffff00">We're making good progress.</font>

781
00:40:44,316 --> 00:40:45,316
<font color="#ffff00">- Ugh!
- Pull over!</font>

782
00:40:45,318 --> 00:40:46,984
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.</font>

783
00:40:54,695 --> 00:40:55,827
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh.
- Oh.</font>

784
00:40:55,829 --> 00:40:56,861
<font color="#ffff00">Chunkage.</font>

785
00:40:56,863 --> 00:40:58,762
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe she'll pull through.</font>

786
00:40:58,764 --> 00:41:01,399
<font color="#ffff00">What? You are the one
who says "don't take chances."</font>

787
00:41:03,570 --> 00:41:06,573
<font color="#ffff00">So who wants do the honors?</font>

788
00:41:07,907 --> 00:41:10,608
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, personally,
I wouldn't mind,</font>

789
00:41:10,610 --> 00:41:13,979
<font color="#ffff00">but I don't want
you guys calling me selfish.</font>

790
00:41:13,981 --> 00:41:17,182
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, come on. She is a living,
thinking being. Okay?</font>

791
00:41:17,184 --> 00:41:18,716
<font color="#ffff00">She's a living being.</font>

792
00:41:18,718 --> 00:41:23,254
<font color="#ffff00">Look, I know you guys
are in love or whatever,</font>

793
00:41:23,256 --> 00:41:25,689
<font color="#ffff00">but in two minutes,
she's gonna become a:</font>

794
00:41:27,593 --> 00:41:31,930
<font color="#ffff00">A zombie, not a velociraptor.
And it's the right thing to do.</font>

795
00:41:31,932 --> 00:41:35,434
<font color="#ffff00">If you love something,
you shoot it in the face</font>

796
00:41:35,436 --> 00:41:38,169
<font color="#ffff00">so it doesn't become
a flesh-eating monster.</font>

797
00:41:38,171 --> 00:41:39,604
<font color="#ffff00">I know.</font>

798
00:41:39,606 --> 00:41:41,673
<font color="#ffff00">She's making a good point.</font>

799
00:41:41,675 --> 00:41:47,945
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe it's time for you to be
the Brave Little Toaster.</font>

800
00:41:52,820 --> 00:41:55,086
<font color="#ffff00"><i>They say when
something bad happens,</i></font>

801
00:41:55,088 --> 00:41:56,821
<font color="#ffff00"><i>you have three choices:</i></font>

802
00:41:56,823 --> 00:42:00,293
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Let it define you, destroy you,
or strengthen you.</i></font>

803
00:42:03,963 --> 00:42:06,166
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Time to teach Lennie
about the rabbits.</i></font>

804
00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:13,004
<font color="#ffff00">No! Don't come with me!
Don't come with me!</font>

805
00:42:13,006 --> 00:42:14,805
<font color="#ffff00">Madison, Madison, please.</font>

806
00:42:14,807 --> 00:42:17,142
<font color="#ffff00">- Madison, please. Please, please.
- Don't hurt me!</font>

807
00:42:17,144 --> 00:42:18,644
<font color="#ffff00">- No, no, no!
- Wait. Listen to me!</font>

808
00:42:18,646 --> 00:42:19,878
<font color="#ffff00">- Please. Wait.
- No, no, no!</font>

809
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,046
<font color="#ffff00">- Madison, just wait.
- I'm a monster.</font>

810
00:42:22,048 --> 00:42:23,814
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm a monster.
- Please, please.</font>

811
00:42:23,816 --> 00:42:26,450
<font color="#ffff00">Listen. I realize we don't
know each other that well.</font>

812
00:42:26,452 --> 00:42:28,954
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, well, we do
in the biblical sense, yes.</font>

813
00:42:28,956 --> 00:42:30,990
<font color="#ffff00">But I think you're
a really great person.</font>

814
00:42:33,994 --> 00:42:35,225
<font color="#ffff00">Well, not now.</font>

815
00:42:37,497 --> 00:42:39,430
<font color="#ffff00">I'm sorry.</font>

816
00:42:52,278 --> 00:42:54,479
<font color="#ffff00">Thanks.</font>

817
00:42:54,481 --> 00:42:56,314
<font color="#ffff00">Can we just, uh...</font>

818
00:42:56,316 --> 00:42:58,349
<font color="#ffff00">I'm so sorry.</font>

819
00:42:58,351 --> 00:43:00,617
<font color="#ffff00">All right. Just...
Come on, come on, let's go.</font>

820
00:43:11,530 --> 00:43:13,530
<font color="#ffff00">I'm not gonna lie and say</font>

821
00:43:13,532 --> 00:43:16,236
<font color="#ffff00">that I'm broken up
about it, but, um...</font>

822
00:43:17,838 --> 00:43:19,972
<font color="#ffff00">- I am sorry.
- Yeah.</font>

823
00:43:19,974 --> 00:43:22,039
<font color="#ffff00">- She didn't deserve that.
- Thanks, man.</font>

824
00:43:22,041 --> 00:43:26,747
<font color="#ffff00">He's right. That's a terrible
way to go, even for...</font>

825
00:43:27,981 --> 00:43:30,213
<font color="#ffff00">- It's....
- Oh, come on. It's Madison.</font>

826
00:43:30,215 --> 00:43:31,550
<font color="#ffff00">- You know that.
- Madison!</font>

827
00:43:31,552 --> 00:43:33,617
<font color="#ffff00">You know that, okay?
Her name is Madison.</font>

828
00:43:33,619 --> 00:43:36,854
<font color="#ffff00">Or her name was Madison.
And she was a real person, okay?</font>

829
00:43:36,856 --> 00:43:38,990
<font color="#ffff00">She had, you know,
complex feelings</font>

830
00:43:38,992 --> 00:43:40,791
<font color="#ffff00">and emotions and interests.</font>

831
00:43:40,793 --> 00:43:45,896
<font color="#ffff00">She liked dolphins and rainbows,
you know? And double rainbows.</font>

832
00:43:45,898 --> 00:43:48,633
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm agreeing. It's sad.
- Okay.</font>

833
00:43:48,635 --> 00:43:50,367
<font color="#ffff00">That is obviously not
what I wanted.</font>

834
00:43:50,369 --> 00:43:53,070
<font color="#ffff00">- What is it that you do want?
- I wanna find my sister.</font>

835
00:43:53,072 --> 00:43:54,238
<font color="#ffff00">Me too.</font>

836
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:55,939
<font color="#ffff00">- Good.
- Good.</font>

837
00:43:55,941 --> 00:43:58,408
<font color="#ffff00">- Good. Great. Awesome.
- Great, in fact. Great.</font>

838
00:43:58,410 --> 00:44:00,278
<font color="#ffff00">This is gonna be
a long drive.</font>

839
00:44:11,457 --> 00:44:13,024
<font color="#ffff00">This is it.</font>

840
00:44:13,026 --> 00:44:16,227
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, little buddy,
don't be cruel to me</font>

841
00:44:16,229 --> 00:44:18,432
<font color="#ffff00">for waking you up,
but we're here.</font>

842
00:44:19,566 --> 00:44:22,399
<font color="#ffff00">Oh. Oh, my God.</font>

843
00:44:22,401 --> 00:44:23,834
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God.</font>

844
00:44:26,173 --> 00:44:28,673
<font color="#ffff00">Every choice I've ever
made in my life</font>

845
00:44:28,675 --> 00:44:31,608
<font color="#ffff00">has been leading me
to this moment right here,</font>

846
00:44:31,610 --> 00:44:34,579
<font color="#ffff00">right now,
3764 Elvis Presley Boulevard.</font>

847
00:44:34,581 --> 00:44:38,048
<font color="#ffff00">I feel like a 1954 teenybopper.</font>

848
00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:39,119
<font color="#ffff00">And here comes...</font>

849
00:44:41,722 --> 00:44:42,656
<font color="#ffff00">No.</font>

850
00:44:45,557 --> 00:44:47,624
<font color="#ffff00">No, no, no!</font>

851
00:44:47,626 --> 00:44:50,294
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, dude, if you need,
like, a moment or...</font>

852
00:44:50,296 --> 00:44:52,997
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God. No Graceland.</font>

853
00:44:52,999 --> 00:44:54,731
<font color="#ffff00">No Beast.</font>

854
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,501
<font color="#ffff00">- No Little Rock.
- No Little Rock?</font>

855
00:44:57,503 --> 00:44:59,303
<font color="#ffff00">Am I not allowed</font>

856
00:44:59,305 --> 00:45:04,075
<font color="#ffff00">one cock-sucking duck-fucking
little break in this world?</font>

857
00:45:04,077 --> 00:45:06,178
<font color="#ffff00">You're not the only one
that's upset.</font>

858
00:45:06,180 --> 00:45:09,948
<font color="#ffff00">Just... Just drive.
Drive, drive. Drive now!</font>

859
00:45:09,950 --> 00:45:11,718
<font color="#ffff00">Get away from here. Go!</font>

860
00:45:15,688 --> 00:45:17,821
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Graceland was a pile of rubble,</i></font>

861
00:45:17,823 --> 00:45:19,457
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Little Rock was still missing,</i></font>

862
00:45:19,459 --> 00:45:21,325
<font color="#ffff00"><i>and we were unsure
of our next move.</i></font>

863
00:45:21,327 --> 00:45:23,961
<font color="#ffff00"><i>But sometimes, you just have
to follow the signs.</i></font>

864
00:45:23,963 --> 00:45:25,930
<font color="#ffff00">Hm.</font>

865
00:45:25,932 --> 00:45:28,135
<font color="#ffff00">Well, when Z-land
serves you lemons...</font>

866
00:45:30,336 --> 00:45:32,539
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, Florida, 11 o'clock.</font>

867
00:45:35,809 --> 00:45:37,307
<font color="#ffff00">What?</font>

868
00:45:37,309 --> 00:45:41,314
<font color="#ffff00">- Hound Dog Hotel.
- Oh, what a bunch of bull.</font>

869
00:45:43,249 --> 00:45:46,053
<font color="#ffff00">- Whoa, the Beast!
- Little Rock!</font>

870
00:45:54,026 --> 00:45:56,727
<font color="#ffff00">Damn. Wow,</font>

871
00:45:56,729 --> 00:45:58,495
<font color="#ffff00">for a place
that ain't Graceland,</font>

872
00:45:58,497 --> 00:46:00,798
<font color="#ffff00">it sure looks a hell
of a lot like Graceland.</font>

873
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,399
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah, it does.
- Here's the idea.</font>

874
00:46:02,401 --> 00:46:04,035
<font color="#ffff00">We'll split up.
I'll go this way.</font>

875
00:46:04,037 --> 00:46:05,836
<font color="#ffff00">No, no, no.
I should talk to her.</font>

876
00:46:05,838 --> 00:46:08,907
<font color="#ffff00">I'm her sister. I'll talk to
her first. You guys stay here.</font>

877
00:46:08,909 --> 00:46:10,675
<font color="#ffff00">Mm, sound.</font>

878
00:46:10,677 --> 00:46:13,878
<font color="#ffff00">- Huh.
- Buh, buh, buh, buh.</font>

879
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,379
<font color="#ffff00">- Little respect.
- Why? He's dead probably.</font>

880
00:46:16,381 --> 00:46:18,851
<font color="#ffff00">Oh. Oh, for you. Okay.</font>

881
00:46:21,387 --> 00:46:23,588
<font color="#ffff00">- This is so degrading.
- It's not for me.</font>

882
00:46:23,590 --> 00:46:24,557
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I know.</font>

883
00:46:25,892 --> 00:46:27,392
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

884
00:46:27,394 --> 00:46:29,394
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, yeah.
- Smells like a wet dog died.</font>

885
00:46:29,396 --> 00:46:31,129
<font color="#ffff00">- That's not... Push it.
- I am.</font>

886
00:46:31,131 --> 00:46:33,934
<font color="#ffff00">- Square peg, round hole. Stop.
- Yeah, okay. Sorry.</font>

887
00:46:38,505 --> 00:46:41,071
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God. It's uncanny.</font>

888
00:46:41,073 --> 00:46:43,374
<font color="#ffff00">This is incredible.</font>

889
00:46:43,376 --> 00:46:47,010
<font color="#ffff00">It's a perfect fit. I feel
like Cinderella at the ball.</font>

890
00:46:47,012 --> 00:46:51,249
<font color="#ffff00">Are you jealous that I have
the same size shoe as Elvis?</font>

891
00:46:51,251 --> 00:46:54,955
<font color="#ffff00">No. It's not like those
are Elvis' actual shoes.</font>

892
00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,459
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry.</font>

893
00:47:19,746 --> 00:47:23,481
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Well, I never been to Spain ♪</font>

894
00:47:26,586 --> 00:47:27,821
<font color="#ffff00">Little Rock?</font>

895
00:47:32,624 --> 00:47:35,795
<font color="#ffff00">♪ The ladies are insane ♪</font>

896
00:47:38,631 --> 00:47:42,469
<font color="#ffff00">♪ And they don't have it easy ♪</font>

897
00:47:48,140 --> 00:47:51,910
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Well, I never been
To heaven... ♪</font>

898
00:47:51,912 --> 00:47:53,477
<font color="#ffff00">Ow!</font>

899
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:58,149
<font color="#ffff00">- Start talking.
- Ah, you first.</font>

900
00:47:58,151 --> 00:48:00,651
<font color="#ffff00">- Hi, my name's Tallahassee.
- Nevada.</font>

901
00:48:00,653 --> 00:48:03,354
<font color="#ffff00">- Which part?
- Nevada's as close as you get.</font>

902
00:48:03,356 --> 00:48:05,356
<font color="#ffff00">Now, what are you doing
in the Hound Dog?</font>

903
00:48:05,358 --> 00:48:08,327
<font color="#ffff00">I got a thing for the King.</font>

904
00:48:09,863 --> 00:48:12,830
<font color="#ffff00">No, no,
don't shoot my friends.</font>

905
00:48:12,832 --> 00:48:15,432
<font color="#ffff00">- Anybody else in here with you?
- No, just us.</font>

906
00:48:15,434 --> 00:48:18,836
<font color="#ffff00">We're all civilized people.
Let's just put the guns down.</font>

907
00:48:18,838 --> 00:48:21,939
<font color="#ffff00">Why the hell are you wearing
Elvis' actual shoes?</font>

908
00:48:21,941 --> 00:48:22,976
<font color="#ffff00">Comfort.</font>

909
00:48:24,644 --> 00:48:26,843
<font color="#ffff00">- You live here?
- Yeah.</font>

910
00:48:26,845 --> 00:48:29,946
<font color="#ffff00">So that car out front, the girl
who was driving it, is she...</font>

911
00:48:29,948 --> 00:48:33,017
<font color="#ffff00">Gone. She and that poser
peace lover of hers...</font>

912
00:48:33,019 --> 00:48:35,586
<font color="#ffff00">- Berkeley.
- Berkeley.</font>

913
00:48:35,588 --> 00:48:36,954
<font color="#ffff00">...took off a few days ago.</font>

914
00:48:36,956 --> 00:48:38,957
<font color="#ffff00">And trust me,
they shouldn't have.</font>

915
00:48:38,959 --> 00:48:40,191
<font color="#ffff00">It's not safe out there.</font>

916
00:48:40,193 --> 00:48:43,093
<font color="#ffff00">- Damn it.
- Why didn't they take the Beast?</font>

917
00:48:43,095 --> 00:48:45,028
<font color="#ffff00">He said it was
too "establishment."</font>

918
00:48:45,030 --> 00:48:48,365
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, I will kill
that little fart snack myself.</font>

919
00:48:48,367 --> 00:48:50,367
<font color="#ffff00">You're lucky I didn't do
the same to you.</font>

920
00:48:50,369 --> 00:48:53,506
<font color="#ffff00">Seriously. You know how close
I came to Murraying you?</font>

921
00:48:56,543 --> 00:48:58,709
<font color="#ffff00">To what-ing him?</font>

922
00:48:58,711 --> 00:49:01,678
<font color="#ffff00">Murraying him. You know,
when you shoot someone</font>

923
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,648
<font color="#ffff00">because you think
they're a zombie.</font>

924
00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:06,416
<font color="#ffff00">Apparently, that's
how Bill Murray died.</font>

925
00:49:06,418 --> 00:49:08,553
<font color="#ffff00">Wow, God, who's Bill Murray?
I never...</font>

926
00:49:08,555 --> 00:49:10,187
<font color="#ffff00">I don't even know
what that is.</font>

927
00:49:10,189 --> 00:49:12,689
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, the actor.
That's so sad.</font>

928
00:49:12,691 --> 00:49:14,392
<font color="#ffff00">I don't read <i>Variety.</i>
That's sad.</font>

929
00:49:14,394 --> 00:49:17,061
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry if you knew him.
If you didn't, I'm still sorry.</font>

930
00:49:17,063 --> 00:49:19,829
<font color="#ffff00">It's sad when anybody dies.
Sounds like an urban legend.</font>

931
00:49:19,831 --> 00:49:22,401
<font color="#ffff00">- It happened.
- I doubt it. It's weird. What?</font>

932
00:49:25,072 --> 00:49:27,504
<font color="#ffff00">I'll say this about Murray,</font>

933
00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:31,575
<font color="#ffff00">if I ever find out who did him,
I'm gonna do him.</font>

934
00:49:31,577 --> 00:49:33,711
<font color="#ffff00">Me too. I'll be...
You first, but me second.</font>

935
00:49:33,713 --> 00:49:35,479
<font color="#ffff00">Don't listen to this guy.</font>

936
00:49:35,481 --> 00:49:37,148
<font color="#ffff00">He's killed more
celebrities than cocaine.</font>

937
00:49:37,150 --> 00:49:38,883
<font color="#ffff00">The girl that was here before,</font>

938
00:49:38,885 --> 00:49:40,517
<font color="#ffff00">did she say
where she was going?</font>

939
00:49:40,519 --> 00:49:43,488
<font color="#ffff00">No, but that idiot Berkeley</font>

940
00:49:43,490 --> 00:49:45,423
<font color="#ffff00">wouldn't shut up about it.</font>

941
00:49:45,425 --> 00:49:47,658
<font color="#ffff00">Babylon is a commune,
safe haven,</font>

942
00:49:47,660 --> 00:49:49,225
<font color="#ffff00">protected on all sides.</font>

943
00:49:49,227 --> 00:49:52,662
<font color="#ffff00">Completely pacifist.
No guns or violence of any kind.</font>

944
00:49:52,664 --> 00:49:54,432
<font color="#ffff00">A lot of young people too,
you know.</font>

945
00:49:54,434 --> 00:49:56,501
<font color="#ffff00">Generation Z living
in peace and harmony.</font>

946
00:49:56,503 --> 00:49:58,769
<font color="#ffff00">- It sounds cool.
- I know you had your heart set</font>

947
00:49:58,771 --> 00:50:03,610
<font color="#ffff00">on this Graceland, but this
is <i>mucho, mucho</i> better.</font>

948
00:50:10,651 --> 00:50:13,885
<font color="#ffff00">This is a very good replica
of the King's Jungle Room,</font>

949
00:50:13,887 --> 00:50:16,220
<font color="#ffff00">where he recorded
his last two albums.</font>

950
00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:20,057
<font color="#ffff00"><i>From Elvis Presley Boulevard,</i>
<i>Memphis, Tennessee</i> and...</font>

951
00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:22,225
<font color="#ffff00">And <i>Moody Blue.</i></font>

952
00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:23,430
<font color="#ffff00">You know your Elvis.</font>

953
00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:27,767
<font color="#ffff00">Every lover of the King
has a story.</font>

954
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:30,434
<font color="#ffff00">What's yours?</font>

955
00:50:30,436 --> 00:50:33,838
<font color="#ffff00">My mama took me to see Elvis
when I was a kid.</font>

956
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,606
<font color="#ffff00">Something about him.
Attitude, the music...</font>

957
00:50:36,608 --> 00:50:39,109
<font color="#ffff00">The hips, the ass.</font>

958
00:50:39,111 --> 00:50:41,111
<font color="#ffff00">Well, I was 10,
but with Elvis,</font>

959
00:50:41,113 --> 00:50:42,713
<font color="#ffff00">there is something
for everyone.</font>

960
00:50:42,715 --> 00:50:44,981
<font color="#ffff00">Cut to later,
I'm in high school.</font>

961
00:50:44,983 --> 00:50:47,919
<font color="#ffff00">And my buddy
Frankie Hammond says, uh:</font>

962
00:50:47,921 --> 00:50:50,254
<font color="#ffff00">"Do your Elvis."</font>

963
00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:53,591
<font color="#ffff00">I said, "We're in the library.
It's gonna be loud."</font>

964
00:50:53,593 --> 00:50:56,126
<font color="#ffff00">He convinces me. He starts
tapping his pencil,</font>

965
00:50:56,128 --> 00:50:57,363
<font color="#ffff00">and I get up.</font>

966
00:51:01,168 --> 00:51:04,602
<font color="#ffff00">♪ You ain't nothing
But a hound dog ♪</font>

967
00:51:04,604 --> 00:51:07,437
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Crying all the time
Bo, bo, doo-de-doo ♪</font>

968
00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:10,207
<font color="#ffff00">Everybody starts gathering
around and clapping,</font>

969
00:51:10,209 --> 00:51:13,144
<font color="#ffff00">and I jumped on a table.
I finish off with a flourish.</font>

970
00:51:13,146 --> 00:51:15,144
<font color="#ffff00">♪ You ain't never
Caught a rabbit ♪</font>

971
00:51:15,146 --> 00:51:17,013
<font color="#ffff00">♪ You ain't no friend of mine ♪</font>

972
00:51:18,483 --> 00:51:21,820
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah! And the whole place,
thunderous applause.</font>

973
00:51:21,822 --> 00:51:24,988
<font color="#ffff00">And up comes the cutest girl
in the school,</font>

974
00:51:24,990 --> 00:51:29,193
<font color="#ffff00">Robin Rogers, who never
gave me the time of day before.</font>

975
00:51:29,195 --> 00:51:31,528
<font color="#ffff00">She plants a kiss
on my cheek.</font>

976
00:51:31,530 --> 00:51:33,830
<font color="#ffff00">And for a moment, just one,</font>

977
00:51:33,832 --> 00:51:35,601
<font color="#ffff00">I felt like the King.</font>

978
00:51:38,671 --> 00:51:41,508
<font color="#ffff00">I suddenly feel a little jealous
of Robin Rogers.</font>

979
00:51:43,677 --> 00:51:44,644
<font color="#ffff00">You don't say.</font>

980
00:51:46,945 --> 00:51:48,414
<font color="#ffff00">I don't know about you...</font>

981
00:51:50,050 --> 00:51:51,752
<font color="#ffff00">...but I feel my temperature
rising.</font>

982
00:51:56,356 --> 00:51:57,557
<font color="#ffff00">Mm.</font>

983
00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:03,294
<font color="#ffff00">This is Babylon.</font>

984
00:52:03,296 --> 00:52:06,696
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, like those ancient
hanging gardens.</font>

985
00:52:06,698 --> 00:52:08,832
<font color="#ffff00">- Huh?
- Of Babylon.</font>

986
00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:12,068
<font color="#ffff00">No, no. It's named
for that cool David Gray song.</font>

987
00:52:12,070 --> 00:52:13,906
<font color="#ffff00">Man, I wish I'd written
that one.</font>

988
00:52:15,242 --> 00:52:18,041
<font color="#ffff00">No guns allowed
is our one rule.</font>

989
00:52:18,043 --> 00:52:21,213
<font color="#ffff00">- That, and no group sex.
- All right. Hand them over.</font>

990
00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:26,082
<font color="#ffff00">Here you go.</font>

991
00:52:26,084 --> 00:52:28,519
<font color="#ffff00">No guns. No guns.
Just hugs.</font>

992
00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:30,354
<font color="#ffff00">Then welcome.</font>

993
00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:32,722
<font color="#ffff00">Come on, señorita.
You're gonna love this place.</font>

994
00:52:32,724 --> 00:52:34,791
<font color="#ffff00">It's completely safe
and entirely organic.</font>

995
00:52:34,793 --> 00:52:36,727
<font color="#ffff00">- This is so cool.
- All right.</font>

996
00:52:36,729 --> 00:52:39,430
<font color="#ffff00">We're gonna melt your guns here
and give you a pendant.</font>

997
00:52:39,432 --> 00:52:41,265
<font color="#ffff00">- They melt it?
- Yeah.</font>

998
00:52:41,267 --> 00:52:42,600
<font color="#ffff00">It's a symbolic thing.</font>

999
00:52:42,602 --> 00:52:44,234
<font color="#ffff00">Goodbye, violence.</font>

1000
00:52:44,236 --> 00:52:45,870
<font color="#ffff00">Hello, peace.</font>

1001
00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:47,070
<font color="#ffff00">Once we're done,</font>

1002
00:52:47,072 --> 00:52:48,705
<font color="#ffff00">we'll take you up
to the rooftop.</font>

1003
00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:49,874
<font color="#ffff00">I hope you like stairs.</font>

1004
00:52:49,876 --> 00:52:50,811
<font color="#ffff00">That's good.</font>

1005
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,048
<font color="#ffff00">- Thanks.
- Welcome to Babylon.</font>

1006
00:52:57,050 --> 00:52:58,950
<font color="#ffff00">Let me show you the way.</font>

1007
00:52:58,952 --> 00:53:00,084
<font color="#ffff00">Aw, right on.</font>

1008
00:53:04,590 --> 00:53:06,289
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, brother. What's up?</font>

1009
00:53:06,291 --> 00:53:07,994
<font color="#ffff00">- Hi.
- Yeah.</font>

1010
00:53:27,746 --> 00:53:31,282
<font color="#ffff00">Wake
up, my little blue suede baby.</font>

1011
00:53:31,284 --> 00:53:33,316
<font color="#ffff00">It's now or never. Ooh!</font>

1012
00:53:33,318 --> 00:53:36,687
<font color="#ffff00">My friends say you're sleeping
like a tired pup.</font>

1013
00:53:38,791 --> 00:53:39,957
<font color="#ffff00">What the fuck?</font>

1014
00:53:41,193 --> 00:53:42,195
<font color="#ffff00">Shit.</font>

1015
00:53:49,300 --> 00:53:51,769
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, no, no, no!</font>

1016
00:53:51,771 --> 00:53:53,771
<font color="#ffff00">This is not happening!</font>

1017
00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:56,908
<font color="#ffff00">This is not fucking happening!</font>

1018
00:53:56,910 --> 00:53:59,108
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, motherfucker,
that's my ride!</font>

1019
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:01,644
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my apologies,
tiny Elvis.</font>

1020
00:54:01,646 --> 00:54:04,948
<font color="#ffff00">Just didn't expect anything
to be parked in my driveway.</font>

1021
00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,019
<font color="#ffff00">Your driveway?</font>

1022
00:54:07,753 --> 00:54:10,254
<font color="#ffff00">That's right. My driveway.</font>

1023
00:54:10,256 --> 00:54:12,189
<font color="#ffff00">Well, that's funny.
When I parked in it,</font>

1024
00:54:12,191 --> 00:54:13,557
<font color="#ffff00">no one told me to pull out.</font>

1025
00:54:15,327 --> 00:54:17,794
<font color="#ffff00">Well, actually,
it's my driveway.</font>

1026
00:54:17,796 --> 00:54:19,629
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, Nevada.</font>

1027
00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:24,535
<font color="#ffff00">But see, when I'm
in town, I use it.</font>

1028
00:54:24,537 --> 00:54:28,006
<font color="#ffff00">Well, I'm in town now,
and I'm using it.</font>

1029
00:54:28,008 --> 00:54:30,140
<font color="#ffff00">Keep talking like this,
and I can arrange</font>

1030
00:54:30,142 --> 00:54:33,042
<font color="#ffff00">so neither of you
ever uses my driveway again.</font>

1031
00:54:33,044 --> 00:54:35,077
<font color="#ffff00">I don't think they're talking
about the driveway.</font>

1032
00:54:35,079 --> 00:54:36,481
<font color="#ffff00">No, I don't think so.</font>

1033
00:54:36,483 --> 00:54:38,749
<font color="#ffff00">- You happy now? Good move.
- Satisfied? Good job.</font>

1034
00:54:38,751 --> 00:54:41,584
<font color="#ffff00">- Does he remind you of...?
- Yeah, it's weird.</font>

1035
00:54:41,586 --> 00:54:44,354
<font color="#ffff00">I don't like you at all.</font>

1036
00:54:44,356 --> 00:54:45,722
<font color="#ffff00">It's not weird,
it's creepy.</font>

1037
00:54:45,724 --> 00:54:47,390
<font color="#ffff00">It's like
an un-funhouse mirror.</font>

1038
00:54:47,392 --> 00:54:50,660
<font color="#ffff00">I think you double-parked
or more perpendicular-parked.</font>

1039
00:54:50,662 --> 00:54:52,696
<font color="#ffff00">- Hope we don't get a ticket.
- Whoa.</font>

1040
00:54:52,698 --> 00:54:54,798
<font color="#ffff00">- Calm down.
- I'm just ragging you.</font>

1041
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,367
<font color="#ffff00">- What is going on here?
- What?</font>

1042
00:54:57,369 --> 00:54:59,470
<font color="#ffff00">- What do you mean, "what"?
- What?</font>

1043
00:54:59,472 --> 00:55:02,305
<font color="#ffff00">- Does he not remind you of...?
- Hello, everyone.</font>

1044
00:55:02,307 --> 00:55:04,508
<font color="#ffff00">Of... Of what?</font>

1045
00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:06,010
<font color="#ffff00">- This is Albuquerque.
- Howdy.</font>

1046
00:55:06,012 --> 00:55:08,144
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm Flagstaff.
- Hey. I'm Columbus.</font>

1047
00:55:08,146 --> 00:55:09,747
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, great.</font>

1048
00:55:09,749 --> 00:55:12,483
<font color="#ffff00">Uh, this is Tallahassee,
Wichita,</font>

1049
00:55:12,485 --> 00:55:14,684
<font color="#ffff00">- and I guess you know Nevada.
- Yes, I do.</font>

1050
00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:15,852
<font color="#ffff00">Easy, cowboy.</font>

1051
00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,887
<font color="#ffff00">So sorry about your ex-car.</font>

1052
00:55:17,889 --> 00:55:21,260
<font color="#ffff00">I guess, as I like to say,
expect the unexpected.</font>

1053
00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:25,595
<font color="#ffff00">- It's one of my commandments.
- Oh.</font>

1054
00:55:25,597 --> 00:55:27,564
<font color="#ffff00">- Commandments?
- Yeah. Sort of guidelines</font>

1055
00:55:27,566 --> 00:55:29,700
<font color="#ffff00">for staying alive.
I've got loads of them.</font>

1056
00:55:29,702 --> 00:55:31,736
<font color="#ffff00">- Hm, interesting.
- Number one is teamwork.</font>

1057
00:55:31,738 --> 00:55:34,305
<font color="#ffff00">Teamwork. That's so great.</font>

1058
00:55:34,307 --> 00:55:36,207
<font color="#ffff00">I spent a long time
thinking about it.</font>

1059
00:55:36,209 --> 00:55:38,876
<font color="#ffff00">I have rules, you know,
which is, like, less biblical.</font>

1060
00:55:38,878 --> 00:55:41,611
<font color="#ffff00">I love rules. Without rules,
everything's chaos.</font>

1061
00:55:41,613 --> 00:55:44,115
<font color="#ffff00">- Thank you.
- Columbus has quite a few rules.</font>

1062
00:55:44,117 --> 00:55:46,216
<font color="#ffff00">- I do.
- Awesome. Like what?</font>

1063
00:55:46,218 --> 00:55:48,619
<font color="#ffff00">- I don't wanna toot my own horn.
- Go on, toot.</font>

1064
00:55:48,621 --> 00:55:50,854
<font color="#ffff00">- Let me toot for him. Uh...
- Thank you.</font>

1065
00:55:50,856 --> 00:55:53,858
<font color="#ffff00">- Number one, cardio.
- That's right.</font>

1066
00:55:53,860 --> 00:55:55,026
<font color="#ffff00">Cardio. Okay.</font>

1067
00:55:55,028 --> 00:55:57,061
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- I don't mean to laugh.</font>

1068
00:55:57,063 --> 00:56:01,064
<font color="#ffff00">It's just that cardiovascular
fitness is his number 29,</font>

1069
00:56:01,066 --> 00:56:02,867
<font color="#ffff00">meaning he has
28 other commandments</font>

1070
00:56:02,869 --> 00:56:04,468
<font color="#ffff00">that he finds more important,</font>

1071
00:56:04,470 --> 00:56:07,070
<font color="#ffff00">like, say, what's one
of your great ones?</font>

1072
00:56:07,072 --> 00:56:09,774
<font color="#ffff00">Number 12. The world
is your bathroom, meaning</font>

1073
00:56:09,776 --> 00:56:13,044
<font color="#ffff00">you can whip it out wherever
you want, and have at it.</font>

1074
00:56:13,046 --> 00:56:15,245
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, just whip it out
wherever you want!</font>

1075
00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:16,780
<font color="#ffff00">That sounds a little uncouth.</font>

1076
00:56:16,782 --> 00:56:19,082
<font color="#ffff00">The "whip it out" part's
for guys, obviously.</font>

1077
00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:22,019
<font color="#ffff00">If you're a woman,
you can reveal it.</font>

1078
00:56:22,021 --> 00:56:24,287
<font color="#ffff00">- Whichever.
- I have beware of bathrooms.</font>

1079
00:56:24,289 --> 00:56:26,490
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I'm just generally
careful around them.</font>

1080
00:56:26,492 --> 00:56:28,624
<font color="#ffff00">But it's not a competition.</font>

1081
00:56:28,626 --> 00:56:31,495
<font color="#ffff00">- No, doesn't have to be.
- But number 18 is limber up.</font>

1082
00:56:31,497 --> 00:56:33,530
<font color="#ffff00">- But that's...
- That's fine. I have warm up.</font>

1083
00:56:33,532 --> 00:56:36,600
<font color="#ffff00">Again, not a competition,
but commandment number 45</font>

1084
00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:38,869
<font color="#ffff00">for me is, well,
mind your manners.</font>

1085
00:56:38,871 --> 00:56:40,470
<font color="#ffff00">Just because
it's the apocalypse</font>

1086
00:56:40,472 --> 00:56:42,106
<font color="#ffff00">doesn't mean
you have to be rude.</font>

1087
00:56:42,108 --> 00:56:44,006
<font color="#ffff00">Keep your hands
to yourself, number 42.</font>

1088
00:56:44,008 --> 00:56:45,142
<font color="#ffff00">Do you have sunscreen?</font>

1089
00:56:45,144 --> 00:56:46,878
<font color="#ffff00">- Just shade.
- Shade. Of course.</font>

1090
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,847
<font color="#ffff00">It's free. It's everywhere.
Yeah. Number two, double tap.</font>

1091
00:56:49,849 --> 00:56:52,249
<font color="#ffff00">I have number five,
confirm your kill.</font>

1092
00:56:52,251 --> 00:56:54,285
<font color="#ffff00">- Confirm your kill.
- Avoid perishables.</font>

1093
00:56:54,287 --> 00:56:56,254
<font color="#ffff00">- Do you have that?
- Sorry. Ziploc bags.</font>

1094
00:56:56,256 --> 00:56:58,321
<font color="#ffff00">- Same thing, different word.
- Yeah. Exactly.</font>

1095
00:56:58,323 --> 00:57:00,691
<font color="#ffff00">I probably would shy away
from the word "Ziploc"</font>

1096
00:57:00,693 --> 00:57:02,425
<font color="#ffff00">because I try
to avoid name brands.</font>

1097
00:57:02,427 --> 00:57:05,495
<font color="#ffff00">Okay, great. So, what brought
you guys back so soon?</font>

1098
00:57:05,497 --> 00:57:08,499
<font color="#ffff00">We was headed for the Rockies,
but the goddamn Bolts...</font>

1099
00:57:08,501 --> 00:57:10,334
<font color="#ffff00">- Bolts?
- Yeah.</font>

1100
00:57:10,336 --> 00:57:11,936
<font color="#ffff00">The zombies
out on the plains.</font>

1101
00:57:11,938 --> 00:57:14,171
<font color="#ffff00">They're a lot tougher
than what we're used to.</font>

1102
00:57:14,173 --> 00:57:17,173
<font color="#ffff00">I guess because of all
the running and hunting.</font>

1103
00:57:17,175 --> 00:57:19,343
<font color="#ffff00">So we call them Bolts,
as in Usain.</font>

1104
00:57:19,345 --> 00:57:20,878
<font color="#ffff00">As in pretty fucking athletic.</font>

1105
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:22,747
<font color="#ffff00">No, that makes total sense.</font>

1106
00:57:22,749 --> 00:57:25,249
<font color="#ffff00">- We call them T-800s.
- <i>Terminator.</i> Yes! I love it.</font>

1107
00:57:25,251 --> 00:57:26,550
<font color="#ffff00">Really?</font>

1108
00:57:26,552 --> 00:57:28,184
<font color="#ffff00">Yes. My favorite movie.
Well, <i>T2.</i></font>

1109
00:57:28,186 --> 00:57:30,019
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, <i>T2</i> is my
second favorite movie.</font>

1110
00:57:30,021 --> 00:57:33,090
<font color="#ffff00">- What's number one?
- Uh, it's <i>Fantasia.</i></font>

1111
00:57:34,258 --> 00:57:35,858
<font color="#ffff00">Well, anyhow,</font>

1112
00:57:35,860 --> 00:57:37,827
<font color="#ffff00">the Bolts' food sources
are running low,</font>

1113
00:57:37,829 --> 00:57:39,930
<font color="#ffff00">so they're pushing east,
which is <i>no bueno.</i></font>

1114
00:57:39,932 --> 00:57:42,099
<font color="#ffff00">You know what else
is <i>no bueno?</i></font>

1115
00:57:42,101 --> 00:57:44,401
<font color="#ffff00">You murdered the Beast.</font>

1116
00:57:44,403 --> 00:57:47,338
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, well, let me
call AAA for you.</font>

1117
00:57:47,340 --> 00:57:49,773
<font color="#ffff00">I'm sure they'll be right over.</font>

1118
00:57:49,775 --> 00:57:52,142
<font color="#ffff00">So you have to play
your cards as...</font>

1119
00:57:52,144 --> 00:57:55,245
<font color="#ffff00">Whoo, that onesie was starting
to cut off my circulation.</font>

1120
00:57:55,247 --> 00:57:58,182
<font color="#ffff00">- To your vagina?
- Your vagina.</font>

1121
00:57:58,184 --> 00:58:00,182
<font color="#ffff00">What'll you have, Florida?</font>

1122
00:58:00,184 --> 00:58:02,919
<font color="#ffff00">He strikes me as
the, uh, lemon drop type.</font>

1123
00:58:02,921 --> 00:58:05,923
<font color="#ffff00">You know, something with an
umbrella or something like that.</font>

1124
00:58:05,925 --> 00:58:08,526
<font color="#ffff00">I heard "something with
an umbrella." Make it two.</font>

1125
00:58:08,528 --> 00:58:09,559
<font color="#ffff00">Three please. Three.</font>

1126
00:58:09,561 --> 00:58:11,595
<font color="#ffff00">So that's your sidekick.</font>

1127
00:58:11,597 --> 00:58:13,164
<font color="#ffff00">That's my partner.</font>

1128
00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:15,765
<font color="#ffff00">You might look
at Flagstaff and think:</font>

1129
00:58:15,767 --> 00:58:18,401
<font color="#ffff00">"Oh, he's a little slight,
diminutive."</font>

1130
00:58:18,403 --> 00:58:22,273
<font color="#ffff00">Effeminate even, but he's
a real beast in battle. Yeah.</font>

1131
00:58:22,275 --> 00:58:25,408
<font color="#ffff00">Come on. You're being sweet.
You sweet, sweet man. Thank you.</font>

1132
00:58:25,410 --> 00:58:27,109
<font color="#ffff00">- Well, I love you.
- Love you too.</font>

1133
00:58:27,111 --> 00:58:29,747
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, you know, Tubbs
to my Crockett over here.</font>

1134
00:58:29,749 --> 00:58:32,716
<font color="#ffff00">He may look a little bookish,
but he's an animal too.</font>

1135
00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:35,419
<font color="#ffff00">He eats zombies for breakfast,
shits them out by lunch.</font>

1136
00:58:35,421 --> 00:58:36,919
<font color="#ffff00">Cheers.</font>

1137
00:58:36,921 --> 00:58:39,122
<font color="#ffff00">He shits out
everything by lunch.</font>

1138
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,994
<font color="#ffff00">What the hell was that?</font>

1139
00:58:47,900 --> 00:58:49,499
<font color="#ffff00">They must have
followed you.</font>

1140
00:58:49,501 --> 00:58:51,568
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, God, those are T-800s.</font>

1141
00:58:51,570 --> 00:58:53,437
<font color="#ffff00">Or at the very least T-700s.</font>

1142
00:58:53,439 --> 00:58:56,205
<font color="#ffff00">- There was no T-700.
- Yeah, T-800's the first model.</font>

1143
00:58:56,207 --> 00:58:59,276
<font color="#ffff00">This is great,
having the two of you.</font>

1144
00:58:59,278 --> 00:59:01,879
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.
Time to nut up or shut up.</font>

1145
00:59:01,881 --> 00:59:04,749
<font color="#ffff00">That saying's very 2009.</font>

1146
00:59:08,287 --> 00:59:11,120
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay. We got this.
- Ho!</font>

1147
00:59:11,122 --> 00:59:13,390
<font color="#ffff00">You don't send a boy
to do a man's job.</font>

1148
00:59:13,392 --> 00:59:15,725
<font color="#ffff00">We brought them here.
We'll take care of it.</font>

1149
00:59:15,727 --> 00:59:18,260
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, you know what?
Have at 'em.</font>

1150
00:59:18,262 --> 00:59:20,396
<font color="#ffff00">You have a safe word
in case things go bad?</font>

1151
00:59:20,398 --> 00:59:21,966
<font color="#ffff00">Heh, that's good.
Come on, Flag,</font>

1152
00:59:21,968 --> 00:59:24,068
<font color="#ffff00">let's show these fuckers
how it's done.</font>

1153
00:59:24,070 --> 00:59:26,135
<font color="#ffff00">Sure. You got it, boss.</font>

1154
00:59:26,137 --> 00:59:28,638
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Hasta la vista,</i> baby.
<i>Terminator 2.</i></font>

1155
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,974
<font color="#ffff00">- Remember?
- Ready, buddy?</font>

1156
00:59:30,976 --> 00:59:33,142
<font color="#ffff00">He's so cool.</font>

1157
00:59:33,144 --> 00:59:35,479
<font color="#ffff00">Whoo, heh, heh!
Suck these bullets!</font>

1158
00:59:35,481 --> 00:59:36,948
<font color="#ffff00">Come on! Get you some!</font>

1159
00:59:36,950 --> 00:59:39,950
<font color="#ffff00">Anybody else find those
two uniquely annoying?</font>

1160
00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:42,388
<font color="#ffff00">- Get it!
- Uniquely? No.</font>

1161
00:59:44,356 --> 00:59:46,157
<font color="#ffff00">Well, I don't love
their chances.</font>

1162
00:59:46,159 --> 00:59:48,959
<font color="#ffff00">They ignored rule 52,
don't be afraid to ask for help.</font>

1163
00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:51,294
<font color="#ffff00">Get fucked in the face, bitch!</font>

1164
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:52,963
<font color="#ffff00">- Flagstaff?
- Yeah, boss?</font>

1165
00:59:52,965 --> 00:59:55,999
<font color="#ffff00">You made the all-star team
today. I mean, no kidding.</font>

1166
00:59:56,001 --> 00:59:57,334
<font color="#ffff00">Unbelievable job.</font>

1167
00:59:57,336 --> 00:59:59,202
<font color="#ffff00">And is it me,
or are those Bolts</font>

1168
00:59:59,204 --> 01:00:01,305
<font color="#ffff00">they're just getting meaner
by the day?</font>

1169
01:00:01,307 --> 01:00:04,307
<font color="#ffff00">- They're full-blown dickheads.
- I got an action shot of you</font>

1170
01:00:04,309 --> 01:00:06,544
<font color="#ffff00">that's going right
into the scrapbook.</font>

1171
01:00:06,546 --> 01:00:09,646
<font color="#ffff00">This is gonna be a good one.
You just keep raising the bar,</font>

1172
01:00:09,648 --> 01:00:13,182
<font color="#ffff00">and that's why we will continue
to ride these highways together.</font>

1173
01:00:13,184 --> 01:00:15,619
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm so proud of you.
- I learned from the best.</font>

1174
01:00:15,621 --> 01:00:17,655
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, come on now.
- Nice work, Querq.</font>

1175
01:00:17,657 --> 01:00:19,023
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you. Thank you.</font>

1176
01:00:19,025 --> 01:00:21,557
<font color="#ffff00">This is gonna be
a hell of a shot. Ha, ha!</font>

1177
01:00:21,559 --> 01:00:24,026
<font color="#ffff00">It's so cool he let you
wear the hat.</font>

1178
01:00:24,028 --> 01:00:25,562
<font color="#ffff00">- Querq?
- Yeah?</font>

1179
01:00:25,564 --> 01:00:28,432
<font color="#ffff00">I think you got
a little something here.</font>

1180
01:00:30,102 --> 01:00:31,600
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, what, that?</font>

1181
01:00:33,171 --> 01:00:36,506
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah, that's just...
That's just a tattoo.</font>

1182
01:00:38,510 --> 01:00:41,445
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, you got a tattoo
of a zombie bite?</font>

1183
01:00:41,447 --> 01:00:45,349
<font color="#ffff00">No, it's just a tattoo
I got one night in Bernalillo.</font>

1184
01:00:45,351 --> 01:00:46,251
<font color="#ffff00">Huh.</font>

1185
01:00:47,418 --> 01:00:48,751
<font color="#ffff00">All right, everybody.</font>

1186
01:00:48,753 --> 01:00:52,423
<font color="#ffff00">Just take it easy.
Everything's fine.</font>

1187
01:00:52,425 --> 01:00:55,225
<font color="#ffff00">Nevada, why don't you whip up
some of your signature...</font>

1188
01:00:59,231 --> 01:01:01,865
<font color="#ffff00">All right.
That was a little weird, huh?</font>

1189
01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:04,934
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah.
- All right. Just calm down.</font>

1190
01:01:04,936 --> 01:01:06,870
<font color="#ffff00">We'll just
have a drink, you know.</font>

1191
01:01:08,173 --> 01:01:11,209
<font color="#ffff00">So we can just kind
of celeb... Celeb...</font>

1192
01:01:14,278 --> 01:01:16,512
<font color="#ffff00">Excuse me. It's okay.</font>

1193
01:01:16,514 --> 01:01:19,048
<font color="#ffff00">It's just nerves
from the fight. Just...</font>

1194
01:01:20,184 --> 01:01:21,584
<font color="#ffff00">Uh, you guys, I think</font>

1195
01:01:21,586 --> 01:01:23,787
<font color="#ffff00">Albuquerque might be infected.</font>

1196
01:01:23,789 --> 01:01:25,588
<font color="#ffff00">Me? I'm infected?</font>

1197
01:01:26,626 --> 01:01:27,957
<font color="#ffff00">You got bit twice.</font>

1198
01:01:27,959 --> 01:01:29,992
<font color="#ffff00">- Ah, Flagstaff!
- No, no. That's a lie.</font>

1199
01:01:29,994 --> 01:01:31,995
<font color="#ffff00">Trust me. Okay? Trust me.</font>

1200
01:01:31,997 --> 01:01:33,631
<font color="#ffff00">I don't get bit.
I never get bit.</font>

1201
01:01:33,633 --> 01:01:35,765
<font color="#ffff00">I don't get bit either.
We're slippery.</font>

1202
01:01:35,767 --> 01:01:37,133
<font color="#ffff00">- See?
- I know. Are you okay?</font>

1203
01:01:37,135 --> 01:01:39,269
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm fine. I'm totally fine.
- You are?</font>

1204
01:01:39,271 --> 01:01:41,341
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm fine.
- Okay, he's fine. He's fine.</font>

1205
01:01:42,441 --> 01:01:44,140
<font color="#ffff00">No, he's not fine. No.</font>

1206
01:01:44,142 --> 01:01:48,144
<font color="#ffff00">No. You're starting to look
like a T-800. <i>Terminator 2.</i></font>

1207
01:01:50,349 --> 01:01:51,784
<font color="#ffff00">No. No, no, no!</font>

1208
01:01:52,818 --> 01:01:54,651
<font color="#ffff00">No!</font>

1209
01:01:54,653 --> 01:01:55,751
<font color="#ffff00">Aah!</font>

1210
01:01:55,753 --> 01:01:58,421
<font color="#ffff00">Move! Move!
Get out of the way.</font>

1211
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,557
<font color="#ffff00">Aah! Aah!</font>

1212
01:02:00,559 --> 01:02:01,494
<font color="#ffff00">Ow!</font>

1213
01:02:04,329 --> 01:02:05,729
<font color="#ffff00">No! No!</font>

1214
01:02:07,233 --> 01:02:08,597
<font color="#ffff00">Flagstaff, you're breaking</font>

1215
01:02:08,599 --> 01:02:10,369
<font color="#ffff00">like 10 commandments right now!</font>

1216
01:02:16,340 --> 01:02:19,211
<font color="#ffff00">This is for what you did
to the Beast! Unh!</font>

1217
01:02:20,813 --> 01:02:21,845
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry!</font>

1218
01:02:23,581 --> 01:02:24,814
<font color="#ffff00">- How you doing?
- Bad!</font>

1219
01:02:24,816 --> 01:02:26,416
<font color="#ffff00">- How are you?
- Bad!</font>

1220
01:02:28,086 --> 01:02:29,956
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, shoes. Sorry, Elvis.</font>

1221
01:02:36,963 --> 01:02:38,363
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, shit. Oh!</font>

1222
01:02:39,997 --> 01:02:42,966
<font color="#ffff00">- How you doing now?
- Still bad! You wanna switch?</font>

1223
01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:45,736
<font color="#ffff00">Switch?
How would that benefit me?</font>

1224
01:02:53,811 --> 01:02:54,880
<font color="#ffff00">Shit!</font>

1225
01:03:02,021 --> 01:03:05,858
<font color="#ffff00">- Help! Shoot him! Shoot him!
- I don't wanna hit you!</font>

1226
01:03:10,695 --> 01:03:11,861
<font color="#ffff00">Shit.</font>

1227
01:03:11,863 --> 01:03:14,434
<font color="#ffff00">Gun, gun, gun! Oh, shit!</font>

1228
01:03:17,470 --> 01:03:19,403
<font color="#ffff00">Stop shooting! I got this!</font>

1229
01:03:19,405 --> 01:03:20,773
<font color="#ffff00">Great, because I'm reloading!</font>

1230
01:03:29,847 --> 01:03:33,749
<font color="#ffff00">Don't swing! Don't swing!
Don't swing! Swing!</font>

1231
01:03:33,751 --> 01:03:35,718
<font color="#ffff00">Shit!</font>

1232
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,454
<font color="#ffff00">No, no, no, not me!
Not me! Oh, fuck!</font>

1233
01:03:38,456 --> 01:03:41,591
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Hasta la vista,</i> baby.</font>

1234
01:03:41,593 --> 01:03:43,896
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you. Thank you very much.</font>

1235
01:03:45,231 --> 01:03:47,963
<font color="#ffff00">Those guys are dicks.</font>

1236
01:03:47,965 --> 01:03:49,600
<font color="#ffff00">Great job.</font>

1237
01:03:49,602 --> 01:03:50,901
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you.</font>

1238
01:03:50,903 --> 01:03:53,803
<font color="#ffff00">- Ah. Can I wear the hat?
- Oh, negatory.</font>

1239
01:03:53,805 --> 01:03:57,474
<font color="#ffff00">- Cool.
- Zombie Kill of the Year?</font>

1240
01:03:57,476 --> 01:04:00,611
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Mm, sorry.
Not with the performance just turned in</i></font>

1241
01:04:00,613 --> 01:04:02,312
<font color="#ffff00"><i>by Matteo Bianchi
of Pisa, Italy.</i></font>

1242
01:04:17,262 --> 01:04:19,164
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Yeah, yeah. That Pisa.</i></font>

1243
01:04:33,278 --> 01:04:34,746
<font color="#ffff00">Bravisimmo, <i>Mateo.</i></font>

1244
01:04:37,650 --> 01:04:40,617
<font color="#ffff00">Ahh, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!</font>

1245
01:04:40,619 --> 01:04:43,186
<font color="#ffff00">Jesus, Big Fat Death is right.</font>

1246
01:04:43,188 --> 01:04:45,923
<font color="#ffff00">That thing is, like,
a huge rollover risk.</font>

1247
01:04:45,925 --> 01:04:47,658
<font color="#ffff00">It is.</font>

1248
01:04:47,660 --> 01:04:51,093
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, dude, I think you should
ask her to come with us.</font>

1249
01:04:51,095 --> 01:04:52,329
<font color="#ffff00">- No, no, no.
- Come on, yes.</font>

1250
01:04:52,331 --> 01:04:54,463
<font color="#ffff00">I think they make
a nice match.</font>

1251
01:04:54,465 --> 01:04:56,432
<font color="#ffff00">Look, what have I been
telling you guys?</font>

1252
01:04:56,434 --> 01:04:58,602
<font color="#ffff00">I'm trying to shed baggage,
not pick it up.</font>

1253
01:04:58,604 --> 01:05:01,704
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah.
- Besides, she wouldn't do that.</font>

1254
01:05:01,706 --> 01:05:03,141
<font color="#ffff00">She's not the type.</font>

1255
01:05:06,211 --> 01:05:07,780
<font color="#ffff00">Stay safe,
Sunshine State.</font>

1256
01:05:09,747 --> 01:05:11,284
<font color="#ffff00">Excuse me.</font>

1257
01:05:15,588 --> 01:05:17,320
<font color="#ffff00">Stay dangerous, Nevada.</font>

1258
01:05:25,430 --> 01:05:29,533
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Hey, no offense, but
my sister is still out there.</font>

1259
01:05:29,535 --> 01:05:31,871
<font color="#ffff00">Wanna hit the old road.</font>

1260
01:05:33,204 --> 01:05:35,373
<font color="#ffff00">If by some miracle
you don't die...</font>

1261
01:05:37,108 --> 01:05:39,711
<font color="#ffff00">there's always room
in my driveway.</font>

1262
01:05:42,380 --> 01:05:43,849
<font color="#ffff00">I best stay alive.</font>

1263
01:05:46,584 --> 01:05:48,151
<font color="#ffff00">Okay, you're back. Good.</font>

1264
01:05:48,153 --> 01:05:50,519
<font color="#ffff00">Do you know how to drive
one of these things?</font>

1265
01:05:50,521 --> 01:05:53,823
<font color="#ffff00">I'm gonna just pop that puppy
off of there</font>

1266
01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:56,325
<font color="#ffff00">and then you guys can jump in.</font>

1267
01:05:56,327 --> 01:05:57,762
<font color="#ffff00">Nice.</font>

1268
01:05:59,865 --> 01:06:02,733
<font color="#ffff00">She's a big old stallion,
but I can tame her.</font>

1269
01:06:09,608 --> 01:06:11,077
<font color="#ffff00">Whoo!</font>

1270
01:06:15,046 --> 01:06:16,146
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, shit.</font>

1271
01:06:20,385 --> 01:06:23,055
<font color="#ffff00">- I think he's got the hang of it.
- Shit!</font>

1272
01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:26,023
<font color="#ffff00">- No. No, no.
- No, no, no.</font>

1273
01:06:26,025 --> 01:06:28,191
<font color="#ffff00">Goddamn motherfucker!</font>

1274
01:06:28,193 --> 01:06:29,294
<font color="#ffff00">Got it.</font>

1275
01:06:36,334 --> 01:06:39,903
<font color="#ffff00">Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!</font>

1276
01:06:39,905 --> 01:06:41,607
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe you should
leave a note.</font>

1277
01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:44,541
<font color="#ffff00">That's your department.</font>

1278
01:06:49,414 --> 01:06:52,814
<font color="#ffff00">I... I just can't do it.</font>

1279
01:06:52,816 --> 01:06:54,085
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. I'll drive.</font>

1280
01:07:00,758 --> 01:07:02,360
<font color="#ffff00">What was that?</font>

1281
01:07:03,628 --> 01:07:04,894
<font color="#ffff00">Satisfying.</font>

1282
01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:12,369
<font color="#ffff00">Teamwork. Always put
the team first.</font>

1283
01:07:12,371 --> 01:07:14,470
<font color="#ffff00">I can't believe
I didn't have that. Stupid.</font>

1284
01:07:14,472 --> 01:07:16,907
<font color="#ffff00">You know, if Flagstaff
was so great,</font>

1285
01:07:16,909 --> 01:07:20,276
<font color="#ffff00">then where was
the undeniably gorgeous</font>

1286
01:07:20,278 --> 01:07:23,213
<font color="#ffff00">but emotionally inaccessible
Kansas City?</font>

1287
01:07:23,215 --> 01:07:24,780
<font color="#ffff00">I don't know. Maybe she split</font>

1288
01:07:24,782 --> 01:07:27,318
<font color="#ffff00">because she thought
they had a random relationship.</font>

1289
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:30,419
<font color="#ffff00">Or maybe she was
just about to come back</font>

1290
01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:33,626
<font color="#ffff00">under the thinly veiled cover
of needing guns and ammo.</font>

1291
01:07:34,825 --> 01:07:37,426
<font color="#ffff00">Wait,
what are you getting at?</font>

1292
01:07:37,428 --> 01:07:39,995
<font color="#ffff00">I think you're smart enough
to figure it out...</font>

1293
01:07:39,997 --> 01:07:41,999
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God.</font>

1294
01:07:42,001 --> 01:07:44,033
<font color="#ffff00">You gotta be kidding me.</font>

1295
01:07:44,035 --> 01:07:45,470
<font color="#ffff00">You gotta be kidding me.</font>

1296
01:07:46,805 --> 01:07:48,872
<font color="#ffff00">You gotta be kidding me!</font>

1297
01:07:48,874 --> 01:07:51,207
<font color="#ffff00">You gotta be fucking
kidding me.</font>

1298
01:07:51,209 --> 01:07:52,809
<font color="#ffff00">Why the hell
is she still alive?</font>

1299
01:07:52,811 --> 01:07:56,512
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God, I literally
missed you guys. Yay!</font>

1300
01:07:56,514 --> 01:07:57,515
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God.</font>

1301
01:07:59,217 --> 01:08:01,117
<font color="#ffff00">Whoa!</font>

1302
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:02,619
<font color="#ffff00">Just... No, just look ahead.</font>

1303
01:08:02,621 --> 01:08:05,354
<font color="#ffff00">Hi, old guy!</font>

1304
01:08:05,356 --> 01:08:06,789
<font color="#ffff00">Let's hang out.</font>

1305
01:08:06,791 --> 01:08:08,559
<font color="#ffff00">- Ha-ha-ha!
- It is so weird to see you.</font>

1306
01:08:08,561 --> 01:08:10,693
<font color="#ffff00">The last time I saw you,
you were like a...</font>

1307
01:08:10,695 --> 01:08:12,162
<font color="#ffff00">- You were a zombie.
- I wish.</font>

1308
01:08:12,164 --> 01:08:14,196
<font color="#ffff00">Stupid nut allergy.</font>

1309
01:08:14,198 --> 01:08:15,832
<font color="#ffff00">- Nut allergy? Oh.
- Yeah.</font>

1310
01:08:15,834 --> 01:08:18,435
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I think it was
the trail mix Wichita gave me.</font>

1311
01:08:18,437 --> 01:08:20,537
<font color="#ffff00">Who knew there were nuts
in trail mix.</font>

1312
01:08:20,539 --> 01:08:22,605
<font color="#ffff00">Not me. I thought it was vegan.</font>

1313
01:08:22,607 --> 01:08:24,140
<font color="#ffff00">I kept trying to tell you</font>

1314
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:26,610
<font color="#ffff00">it was only an allergic
reaction, but you thought</font>

1315
01:08:26,612 --> 01:08:29,011
<font color="#ffff00">- I was trying to bite you.
- Yeah, well...</font>

1316
01:08:29,013 --> 01:08:32,715
<font color="#ffff00">- Not that you minded last time.
- Mm.</font>

1317
01:08:32,717 --> 01:08:34,618
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you for shooting
over my head.</font>

1318
01:08:34,620 --> 01:08:36,787
<font color="#ffff00">I was really just trying
to scare you off.</font>

1319
01:08:36,789 --> 01:08:38,788
<font color="#ffff00">You're not gonna get rid
of me that easy.</font>

1320
01:08:38,790 --> 01:08:40,390
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, no!
- Ha-ha-ha.</font>

1321
01:08:40,392 --> 01:08:44,060
<font color="#ffff00">There I was, hiding in
the woods, when I thought:</font>

1322
01:08:44,062 --> 01:08:48,265
<font color="#ffff00">"I used to live in a freezer,
so why not a freezer on wheels?"</font>

1323
01:08:48,267 --> 01:08:50,367
<font color="#ffff00">Can't argue
with that logic.</font>

1324
01:08:50,369 --> 01:08:52,836
<font color="#ffff00">I really miss this.</font>

1325
01:08:52,838 --> 01:08:54,870
<font color="#ffff00">Was that sarcasm?</font>

1326
01:08:54,872 --> 01:08:56,507
<font color="#ffff00">Was it?</font>

1327
01:08:56,509 --> 01:08:57,476
<font color="#ffff00">Mm-hm.</font>

1328
01:09:02,281 --> 01:09:04,948
<font color="#ffff00">Why wouldn't we
just move to an island?</font>

1329
01:09:04,950 --> 01:09:06,548
<font color="#ffff00">That's a really
good idea.</font>

1330
01:09:06,550 --> 01:09:08,084
<font color="#ffff00">Then there
wouldn't be zombies.</font>

1331
01:09:08,086 --> 01:09:09,586
<font color="#ffff00">- Right.
- Of course.</font>

1332
01:09:09,588 --> 01:09:11,823
<font color="#ffff00">We should go
to Temptation Island.</font>

1333
01:09:13,724 --> 01:09:15,859
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.</font>

1334
01:09:15,861 --> 01:09:17,360
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- Hey, hey.</font>

1335
01:09:17,362 --> 01:09:19,494
<font color="#ffff00">- Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
- Hey, hey.</font>

1336
01:09:19,496 --> 01:09:21,330
<font color="#ffff00">Just... Just eyes
on the road.</font>

1337
01:09:21,332 --> 01:09:23,999
<font color="#ffff00">Do you want me to change
the CD or anything?</font>

1338
01:09:24,001 --> 01:09:25,668
<font color="#ffff00">Is this a CD playing?</font>

1339
01:09:25,670 --> 01:09:27,203
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah. It's Port...
- What is this?</font>

1340
01:09:27,205 --> 01:09:29,239
<font color="#ffff00">It's Portishead.</font>

1341
01:09:29,241 --> 01:09:31,608
<font color="#ffff00">- This is Portishead?
- Yeah. You know what's funny?</font>

1342
01:09:31,610 --> 01:09:33,776
<font color="#ffff00">I used to think
it was called "Portashed"</font>

1343
01:09:33,778 --> 01:09:36,578
<font color="#ffff00">until I went to one of
the concerts, and she explained.</font>

1344
01:09:36,580 --> 01:09:38,248
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I would think
"Portasheed."</font>

1345
01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:41,251
<font color="#ffff00">- Right. Yeah, that's funny.
- Yeah.</font>

1346
01:09:41,253 --> 01:09:42,918
<font color="#ffff00"><i>It was obvious to me</i></font>

1347
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:45,120
<font color="#ffff00"><i>that Wichita and I
were meant to be together,</i></font>

1348
01:09:45,122 --> 01:09:46,588
<font color="#ffff00"><i>which is why Madison's return</i></font>

1349
01:09:46,590 --> 01:09:48,225
<font color="#ffff00"><i>could not have been
worse timing.</i></font>

1350
01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:50,293
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Of course, I was glad
she wasn't a zombie.</i></font>

1351
01:09:50,295 --> 01:09:53,132
<font color="#ffff00"><i>But couldn't she have just
gone back to her mall fridge?</i></font>

1352
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:58,269
<font color="#ffff00">Hey. Hey, look,
look, look. Look.</font>

1353
01:10:02,006 --> 01:10:03,105
<font color="#ffff00">Look.</font>

1354
01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:09,412
<font color="#ffff00">We made it to Baby-lon.</font>

1355
01:10:09,414 --> 01:10:12,983
<font color="#ffff00"><i>If you hear more than
the usual excitement in my voice,</i></font>

1356
01:10:12,985 --> 01:10:14,751
<font color="#ffff00"><i>it's for two reasons.</i></font>

1357
01:10:14,753 --> 01:10:17,486
<font color="#ffff00"><i>One, we may have caught up
to Little Rock,</i></font>

1358
01:10:17,488 --> 01:10:18,689
<font color="#ffff00"><i>for real this time.</i></font>

1359
01:10:18,691 --> 01:10:20,222
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And two, we may have</i></font>

1360
01:10:20,224 --> 01:10:22,458
<font color="#ffff00"><i>finally found our forever home,</i></font>

1361
01:10:22,460 --> 01:10:24,761
<font color="#ffff00"><i>which is what I've been
looking for all along.</i></font>

1362
01:10:24,763 --> 01:10:28,265
<font color="#ffff00">- Whoa, Babylon.
- I love that song.</font>

1363
01:10:28,267 --> 01:10:31,066
<font color="#ffff00">- Hm?
- This place is soy cute.</font>

1364
01:10:36,241 --> 01:10:39,307
<font color="#ffff00">- Whoa, Jesus!
- What the fuck?</font>

1365
01:10:39,309 --> 01:10:42,511
<font color="#ffff00">- Enjoy the little things.
- My bags were in there!</font>

1366
01:10:42,513 --> 01:10:45,315
<font color="#ffff00">- No, they weren't.
- No guns allowed!</font>

1367
01:10:47,352 --> 01:10:49,952
<font color="#ffff00">I like this place already.
You got a sense of humor.</font>

1368
01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:51,687
<font color="#ffff00">No guns allowed.</font>

1369
01:10:51,689 --> 01:10:56,293
<font color="#ffff00">I'm not giving up my guns under
any circumstances, period-o.</font>

1370
01:10:56,295 --> 01:10:59,195
<font color="#ffff00">Well, then, there's no way
you're getting up to Babylon.</font>

1371
01:10:59,197 --> 01:11:01,232
<font color="#ffff00">You know, you could
always wait in the car.</font>

1372
01:11:04,903 --> 01:11:06,738
<font color="#ffff00">Do you wanna see
Little Rock or not?</font>

1373
01:11:20,684 --> 01:11:22,485
<font color="#ffff00">There she is!</font>

1374
01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:24,619
<font color="#ffff00">I'm on a 40-day bowel blast.</font>

1375
01:11:24,621 --> 01:11:25,890
<font color="#ffff00">Little Rock.</font>

1376
01:11:27,459 --> 01:11:30,293
<font color="#ffff00">- Hey.
- Hi.</font>

1377
01:11:30,295 --> 01:11:31,694
<font color="#ffff00">What are you guys
doing here?</font>

1378
01:11:31,696 --> 01:11:33,329
<font color="#ffff00">I am so glad you're safe.</font>

1379
01:11:33,331 --> 01:11:34,998
<font color="#ffff00">- Wow, okay.
- Oh, my God.</font>

1380
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:36,400
<font color="#ffff00">- Come here.
- Hello.</font>

1381
01:11:36,402 --> 01:11:38,235
<font color="#ffff00">Seriously, what are
you doing here?</font>

1382
01:11:38,237 --> 01:11:40,337
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, we don't leave
each other.</font>

1383
01:11:40,339 --> 01:11:41,971
<font color="#ffff00">I know, I know.
I'm really sorry.</font>

1384
01:11:41,973 --> 01:11:44,173
<font color="#ffff00">Make me a pact.
No more notes. Ever.</font>

1385
01:11:44,175 --> 01:11:46,042
<font color="#ffff00">- No more notes. Ever.
- Ever. Great.</font>

1386
01:11:46,044 --> 01:11:47,912
<font color="#ffff00">Just so you know,
there's no group sex.</font>

1387
01:11:49,247 --> 01:11:51,381
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay, fine, group sex.
- Oh, whoa.</font>

1388
01:11:51,383 --> 01:11:53,716
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, Wichita. That means
you're Columbus,</font>

1389
01:11:53,718 --> 01:11:55,886
<font color="#ffff00">and that makes you Tallahassee.</font>

1390
01:11:55,888 --> 01:11:57,886
<font color="#ffff00">- Berkeley?
- You're from Berkeley?</font>

1391
01:11:57,888 --> 01:11:59,721
<font color="#ffff00">- You're Berkeley?
- No, come on.</font>

1392
01:11:59,723 --> 01:12:01,958
<font color="#ffff00">What are the chances
we're both from Berkeley?</font>

1393
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:03,894
<font color="#ffff00">- Berkeley!
- Calm down, calm down. Okay?</font>

1394
01:12:03,896 --> 01:12:06,262
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you for coming
to check up on me, I guess.</font>

1395
01:12:06,264 --> 01:12:09,032
<font color="#ffff00">But you have to understand
these people are peaceful,</font>

1396
01:12:09,034 --> 01:12:10,766
<font color="#ffff00">and they're friendly and nice.</font>

1397
01:12:10,768 --> 01:12:13,468
<font color="#ffff00">And honestly, I don't think
you're gonna fit in here.</font>

1398
01:12:13,470 --> 01:12:16,905
<font color="#ffff00">- They melted our fucking weapons!
- This is exactly what I meant.</font>

1399
01:12:16,907 --> 01:12:19,542
<font color="#ffff00">Guys, I think
we should stay.</font>

1400
01:12:19,544 --> 01:12:22,279
<font color="#ffff00">- You don't get a vote.
- I do get a vote.</font>

1401
01:12:22,281 --> 01:12:24,413
<font color="#ffff00">Haven't you ever heard
of women suffering?</font>

1402
01:12:24,415 --> 01:12:25,618
<font color="#ffff00">Women's suffrage?</font>

1403
01:12:26,718 --> 01:12:28,618
<font color="#ffff00">- No, honey.
- Oh, boy.</font>

1404
01:12:28,620 --> 01:12:30,354
<font color="#ffff00">- Who the hell is this?
- I'm Madison.</font>

1405
01:12:30,356 --> 01:12:31,921
<font color="#ffff00">- Don't say it.
- You'll love this.</font>

1406
01:12:31,923 --> 01:12:34,623
<font color="#ffff00">- Don't say it.
- That's Columbus' girlfriend.</font>

1407
01:12:34,625 --> 01:12:35,958
<font color="#ffff00">It's official.</font>

1408
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:37,127
<font color="#ffff00">Wow, you just didn't</font>

1409
01:12:37,129 --> 01:12:38,694
<font color="#ffff00">waste any time, did you?</font>

1410
01:12:38,696 --> 01:12:41,396
<font color="#ffff00">- Well, thank you for your vote.
- And you're welcome.</font>

1411
01:12:41,398 --> 01:12:44,568
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. I'm late for my
drum circle, so I gotta go.</font>

1412
01:12:44,570 --> 01:12:45,801
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, Little Rock!</font>

1413
01:12:45,803 --> 01:12:47,604
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry about that.</font>

1414
01:12:57,616 --> 01:12:59,315
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Seeing Little Rock safe</i></font>

1415
01:12:59,317 --> 01:13:01,316
<font color="#ffff00"><i>and surrounded by friends
her own age,</i></font>

1416
01:13:01,318 --> 01:13:04,587
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Tallahassee realized
his nest was now empty.</i></font>

1417
01:13:04,589 --> 01:13:06,922
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And he began to hear
the call of the buffalo.</i></font>

1418
01:13:13,665 --> 01:13:15,864
<font color="#ffff00">All right, I'm ready!</font>

1419
01:13:15,866 --> 01:13:18,301
<font color="#ffff00">Come on, don't be
so Gloria Glum.</font>

1420
01:13:18,303 --> 01:13:19,935
<font color="#ffff00">I told you guys
I was leaving.</font>

1421
01:13:19,937 --> 01:13:21,839
<font color="#ffff00">So, what, you're
just gonna split?</font>

1422
01:13:24,342 --> 01:13:28,177
<font color="#ffff00">It's time. Gotta set out
on my own adventures.</font>

1423
01:13:28,179 --> 01:13:30,111
<font color="#ffff00">Little Rock's
safe,</font>

1424
01:13:30,113 --> 01:13:33,052
<font color="#ffff00">and, uh,
a lone wolf's gotta hunt.</font>

1425
01:13:34,352 --> 01:13:35,819
<font color="#ffff00">So where are you gonna go?</font>

1426
01:13:35,821 --> 01:13:38,691
<font color="#ffff00">The direction's
the destination. West.</font>

1427
01:13:40,992 --> 01:13:43,325
<font color="#ffff00">West is that way.</font>

1428
01:13:43,327 --> 01:13:47,864
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. Anyway, like the title of
a great Phil Collins song:</font>

1429
01:13:47,866 --> 01:13:51,501
<font color="#ffff00">"If You Love Somebody,
Set Them Free."</font>

1430
01:13:51,503 --> 01:13:53,936
<font color="#ffff00">- Pretty sure that wasn't him.
- Pretty sure it was.</font>

1431
01:13:53,938 --> 01:13:56,240
<font color="#ffff00">- No, it was someone else.
- Pretty sure it was him.</font>

1432
01:13:58,210 --> 01:13:59,976
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. Peace.</font>

1433
01:13:59,978 --> 01:14:04,579
<font color="#ffff00">Uh, I'm not much
for goodbyes, so...</font>

1434
01:14:04,581 --> 01:14:06,248
<font color="#ffff00">Just don't say
the pig thing.</font>

1435
01:14:06,250 --> 01:14:08,351
<font color="#ffff00">Keep your tits dry.</font>

1436
01:14:08,353 --> 01:14:10,753
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, okay.
- Didn't see that coming, right?</font>

1437
01:14:10,755 --> 01:14:12,687
<font color="#ffff00">I would've rather
the pig thing.</font>

1438
01:14:17,429 --> 01:14:18,430
<font color="#ffff00">Hey.</font>

1439
01:14:19,863 --> 01:14:22,300
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, don't do nothing
I wouldn't not do.</font>

1440
01:14:23,902 --> 01:14:26,101
<font color="#ffff00">- You get what I'm saying.
- Not really, no.</font>

1441
01:14:26,103 --> 01:14:27,703
<font color="#ffff00">No? Okay.</font>

1442
01:14:28,839 --> 01:14:31,709
<font color="#ffff00">Anyway, gonna miss you guys.</font>

1443
01:14:40,085 --> 01:14:42,217
<font color="#ffff00">I will never forget you,
what's-his-name.</font>

1444
01:14:42,219 --> 01:14:44,419
<font color="#ffff00">- See you, pals.
- It's Tallahassee. I told you.</font>

1445
01:14:44,421 --> 01:14:46,189
<font color="#ffff00">Sally Tally!</font>

1446
01:14:56,201 --> 01:15:00,136
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Give me a
home Where the buffalo roam ♪</font>

1447
01:15:00,138 --> 01:15:04,740
<font color="#ffff00">♪ And the deer
And the antelope play ♪</font>

1448
01:15:04,742 --> 01:15:09,211
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Where seldom is heard
A discouraging word ♪</font>

1449
01:15:09,213 --> 01:15:10,879
<font color="#ffff00">♪ And the skies are not... ♪</font>

1450
01:15:17,789 --> 01:15:19,590
<font color="#ffff00">T-800s.</font>

1451
01:15:22,492 --> 01:15:23,594
<font color="#ffff00">That decides it.</font>

1452
01:15:38,241 --> 01:15:39,510
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Kumbaya ♪</font>

1453
01:15:40,946 --> 01:15:42,912
<font color="#ffff00">♪ Kumbaya, Buddha ♪</font>

1454
01:15:42,914 --> 01:15:45,784
<font color="#ffff00">Everybody.
♪ Kumbaya ♪</font>

1455
01:15:47,719 --> 01:15:50,118
<font color="#ffff00">Coming to you. Oh!</font>

1456
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:52,221
<font color="#ffff00">There it is. Let's start again.</font>

1457
01:15:52,223 --> 01:15:54,090
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, it's all right.
I got it.</font>

1458
01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:56,293
<font color="#ffff00">Excuse me. Yes. I got it.</font>

1459
01:15:56,295 --> 01:15:58,461
<font color="#ffff00">- You're supposed to kick it back.
- Really?</font>

1460
01:15:58,463 --> 01:16:01,433
<font color="#ffff00">- You never seen hacky sack?
- I thought it's like hopscotch.</font>

1461
01:16:03,101 --> 01:16:05,767
<font color="#ffff00">- Salty Taffy's back!
- Holy shit!</font>

1462
01:16:05,769 --> 01:16:09,270
<font color="#ffff00">Hey, T-800s, a whole swarm
of them, heading right this way.</font>

1463
01:16:09,272 --> 01:16:13,542
<font color="#ffff00">Those goddamn fireworks
might as well be a dinner bell!</font>

1464
01:16:13,544 --> 01:16:16,145
<font color="#ffff00">Stop the fireworks!
Stop the music!</font>

1465
01:16:16,147 --> 01:16:18,114
<font color="#ffff00">Everybody shut the fuck up!</font>

1466
01:16:18,116 --> 01:16:19,215
<font color="#ffff00">Shut up.</font>

1467
01:16:19,217 --> 01:16:20,882
<font color="#ffff00">Question:</font>

1468
01:16:20,884 --> 01:16:23,519
<font color="#ffff00">Did you melt all the weapons?</font>

1469
01:16:23,521 --> 01:16:25,988
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, that's how we made
these peace thingies.</font>

1470
01:16:25,990 --> 01:16:27,923
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, Jesus.
- My guns!</font>

1471
01:16:27,925 --> 01:16:30,025
<font color="#ffff00">Hey. Hello.
I got something going.</font>

1472
01:16:30,027 --> 01:16:31,860
<font color="#ffff00">I think I might have a plan.</font>

1473
01:16:31,862 --> 01:16:34,029
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh.
- What?</font>

1474
01:16:34,031 --> 01:16:36,966
<font color="#ffff00">Heh, I got nothing.
I'm just a songwriter.</font>

1475
01:16:36,968 --> 01:16:38,834
<font color="#ffff00">No. No, you're
a song transcriber.</font>

1476
01:16:38,836 --> 01:16:40,669
<font color="#ffff00">- Listen, Berkeley?
- Yeah?</font>

1477
01:16:40,671 --> 01:16:42,504
<font color="#ffff00">I don't think this
is gonna work out.</font>

1478
01:16:42,506 --> 01:16:44,006
<font color="#ffff00">Even 12-year-olds know</font>

1479
01:16:44,008 --> 01:16:46,342
<font color="#ffff00">who Bob Dylan is,
you fucking poser.</font>

1480
01:16:46,344 --> 01:16:49,479
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God. I'm not gonna lie,
I have truly enjoyed</font>

1481
01:16:49,481 --> 01:16:52,148
<font color="#ffff00">this moment, but there
are zombies approaching.</font>

1482
01:16:52,150 --> 01:16:56,284
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Uh, Civil War general,
you must know how to fight?</font>

1483
01:16:56,286 --> 01:16:57,552
<font color="#ffff00">Sure.</font>

1484
01:16:57,554 --> 01:17:01,157
<font color="#ffff00">Poverty, sexism,
social injustice.</font>

1485
01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:03,626
<font color="#ffff00">- We could try running.
- I'm done running.</font>

1486
01:17:03,628 --> 01:17:06,762
<font color="#ffff00">I mean, what good is a home
if you can't stay in it?</font>

1487
01:17:06,764 --> 01:17:09,330
<font color="#ffff00">- Columbus.
- Yes, Thor?</font>

1488
01:17:09,332 --> 01:17:11,066
<font color="#ffff00">You're gonna make me
cry right now.</font>

1489
01:17:11,068 --> 01:17:12,568
<font color="#ffff00">- No, please don't.
- Oh, my God.</font>

1490
01:17:12,570 --> 01:17:14,436
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. I moved through it.</font>

1491
01:17:14,438 --> 01:17:17,073
<font color="#ffff00">From where I stand, there's
only one thing we can do.</font>

1492
01:17:17,075 --> 01:17:18,777
<font color="#ffff00">Group sex.
Right?</font>

1493
01:17:20,210 --> 01:17:21,979
<font color="#ffff00">No. Um...</font>

1494
01:17:23,281 --> 01:17:25,446
<font color="#ffff00">We'll fight them.</font>

1495
01:17:25,448 --> 01:17:28,751
<font color="#ffff00">You'll be the first to die,
but I like your enthusiasm.</font>

1496
01:17:28,753 --> 01:17:31,322
<font color="#ffff00">- You might die.
- Thank you for your sacrifice.</font>

1497
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:36,926
<font color="#ffff00">All right,
everybody, listen up.</font>

1498
01:17:36,928 --> 01:17:40,863
<font color="#ffff00">They outnumber us 100 times,
but they ain't got what we do.</font>

1499
01:17:40,865 --> 01:17:42,565
<font color="#ffff00">- Guns?
- We don't have guns.</font>

1500
01:17:42,567 --> 01:17:44,132
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- What we do have</font>

1501
01:17:44,134 --> 01:17:47,569
<font color="#ffff00">is heart, brains
and biodiesel.</font>

1502
01:17:47,571 --> 01:17:49,305
<font color="#ffff00"><i>We're gonna light
these zombies up</i></font>

1503
01:17:49,307 --> 01:17:51,373
<font color="#ffff00"><i>like it's the Fourth of July.</i></font>

1504
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,141
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Then we hit the stragglers.</i></font>

1505
01:17:53,143 --> 01:17:55,611
<font color="#ffff00">What we do is
we form a gauntlet.</font>

1506
01:17:57,113 --> 01:17:59,414
<font color="#ffff00">One, two, three, yah!</font>

1507
01:17:59,416 --> 01:18:01,918
<font color="#ffff00">- Then we mop them up.
- Sick.</font>

1508
01:18:01,920 --> 01:18:04,819
<font color="#ffff00">- This is gonna work, right?
- It has to.</font>

1509
01:18:15,032 --> 01:18:16,267
<font color="#ffff00">- Rolling. Whoa!
- Whoa, whoa!</font>

1510
01:18:22,573 --> 01:18:23,939
<font color="#ffff00">- Keep screwing.
- Yeah, I am.</font>

1511
01:18:23,941 --> 01:18:25,577
<font color="#ffff00">- Keep screwing.
- I am.</font>

1512
01:18:40,258 --> 01:18:41,623
<font color="#ffff00">No turning back now.</font>

1513
01:18:41,625 --> 01:18:44,394
<font color="#ffff00">Okay, there we go.</font>

1514
01:18:44,396 --> 01:18:45,496
<font color="#ffff00">Nice.</font>

1515
01:18:48,633 --> 01:18:50,733
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. Oh, that's gonna work.</font>

1516
01:18:53,103 --> 01:18:54,436
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh!
- Oh, that's pretty.</font>

1517
01:18:54,438 --> 01:18:56,105
<font color="#ffff00">That means the zombies
are coming!</font>

1518
01:18:56,107 --> 01:18:57,806
<font color="#ffff00">The zombies are coming!</font>

1519
01:18:57,808 --> 01:19:00,679
<font color="#ffff00">- Time to nut up or shut up.
- You need a new line.</font>

1520
01:19:02,245 --> 01:19:04,012
<font color="#ffff00">Let's kick some dicks.</font>

1521
01:19:04,014 --> 01:19:06,949
<font color="#ffff00">Just because it rhymes doesn't
make it a great catchphrase.</font>

1522
01:19:06,951 --> 01:19:08,583
<font color="#ffff00">- What's her problem?
- I don't know.</font>

1523
01:19:08,585 --> 01:19:10,388
<font color="#ffff00">I like it when it rhymes.</font>

1524
01:19:11,856 --> 01:19:14,155
<font color="#ffff00">- Here we go.
- Okay.</font>

1525
01:19:30,907 --> 01:19:32,675
<font color="#ffff00">- Zombies, they're coming!
- Oh, dear.</font>

1526
01:19:32,677 --> 01:19:35,077
<font color="#ffff00">Look out, guys!
Here they come. They're coming!</font>

1527
01:19:35,079 --> 01:19:36,247
<font color="#ffff00">Battle stations!</font>

1528
01:19:39,884 --> 01:19:40,786
<font color="#ffff00">Light them up!</font>

1529
01:19:57,335 --> 01:19:59,871
<font color="#ffff00">Let's go, let's go!
Get up to safety.</font>

1530
01:20:15,152 --> 01:20:16,588
<font color="#ffff00">Here we go.</font>

1531
01:20:28,866 --> 01:20:31,234
<font color="#ffff00">Okay now, blow!</font>

1532
01:20:31,236 --> 01:20:35,503
<font color="#ffff00">Come on. Now would be
an ideal time to blow.</font>

1533
01:20:35,505 --> 01:20:37,942
<font color="#ffff00">- It's not working.
- Damn!</font>

1534
01:20:43,848 --> 01:20:44,879
<font color="#ffff00">God!</font>

1535
01:20:44,881 --> 01:20:46,414
<font color="#ffff00">Holy shit.
It worked.</font>

1536
01:20:46,416 --> 01:20:48,751
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, my God.
- Okay.</font>

1537
01:20:48,753 --> 01:20:51,020
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Here, now we
mop up the stragglers.</font>

1538
01:20:51,022 --> 01:20:52,622
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. Yeah.</font>

1539
01:20:56,027 --> 01:20:57,359
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, shit.</font>

1540
01:20:57,361 --> 01:20:59,261
<font color="#ffff00">Would those be
considered stragglers?</font>

1541
01:20:59,263 --> 01:21:01,098
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, boy. Here they come.</font>

1542
01:21:02,433 --> 01:21:04,002
<font color="#ffff00">Get ready!</font>

1543
01:21:14,012 --> 01:21:17,079
<font color="#ffff00">Kill those motherfuckers!</font>

1544
01:21:31,329 --> 01:21:34,762
<font color="#ffff00">Well, guys, I hate to say this.</font>

1545
01:21:34,764 --> 01:21:37,134
<font color="#ffff00">I think this might be
the end of the road.</font>

1546
01:21:39,969 --> 01:21:41,502
<font color="#ffff00">- Come here.
- I love you guys.</font>

1547
01:21:41,504 --> 01:21:43,474
<font color="#ffff00">- I love you more.
- We had a hell of a run.</font>

1548
01:21:46,277 --> 01:21:47,746
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God.
They're gonna die.</font>

1549
01:21:59,557 --> 01:22:00,692
<font color="#ffff00">Oh!</font>

1550
01:22:03,995 --> 01:22:05,063
<font color="#ffff00">Hey!</font>

1551
01:22:12,003 --> 01:22:14,502
<font color="#ffff00">Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!</font>

1552
01:22:14,504 --> 01:22:16,407
<font color="#ffff00">Thank God for rednecks!</font>

1553
01:22:24,982 --> 01:22:26,649
<font color="#ffff00">- Need a ride?
- Oh, yeah.</font>

1554
01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:28,086
<font color="#ffff00">- Get in.
- Let's go!</font>

1555
01:22:32,188 --> 01:22:35,557
<font color="#ffff00">- Are y'all strapped in yet?
- Yep. Strapping in now.</font>

1556
01:22:35,559 --> 01:22:37,493
<font color="#ffff00">- Rule four. Got it.
- You too.</font>

1557
01:22:37,495 --> 01:22:40,198
<font color="#ffff00">I'm not a pussy like Columbus.
Nothing personal.</font>

1558
01:22:41,631 --> 01:22:43,032
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, God!
- Shit!</font>

1559
01:22:43,034 --> 01:22:44,536
<font color="#ffff00">- Seatbelts are for a reason.
- Yep.</font>

1560
01:22:48,671 --> 01:22:50,471
<font color="#ffff00">I'm feeling
a little nauseous.</font>

1561
01:22:50,473 --> 01:22:53,042
<font color="#ffff00">- Can somebody crack a window?
- Oh, no, you don't.</font>

1562
01:22:53,044 --> 01:22:54,743
<font color="#ffff00">Whoa!</font>

1563
01:22:54,745 --> 01:22:56,412
<font color="#ffff00">- Roll down the window.
- That won't...</font>

1564
01:22:56,414 --> 01:22:58,416
<font color="#ffff00">If you get sick,
we all get sick.</font>

1565
01:23:00,218 --> 01:23:02,083
<font color="#ffff00">Woo-hoo!</font>

1566
01:23:02,085 --> 01:23:03,919
<font color="#ffff00">Okay, okay. Oh, God.</font>

1567
01:23:03,921 --> 01:23:06,055
<font color="#ffff00">Could you pull over
so I can get eaten?</font>

1568
01:23:06,057 --> 01:23:07,291
<font color="#ffff00">It'll be more comfortable.</font>

1569
01:23:10,728 --> 01:23:13,096
<font color="#ffff00">Whoo!</font>

1570
01:23:13,098 --> 01:23:14,466
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, shit. Watch out!
- Do it!</font>

1571
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:20,971
<font color="#ffff00">Woo-hoo!</font>

1572
01:23:23,107 --> 01:23:25,807
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God, you are sexy.</font>

1573
01:23:25,809 --> 01:23:28,446
<font color="#ffff00">Can you not say "sexy"?
I'm already nauseous.</font>

1574
01:23:33,785 --> 01:23:36,688
<font color="#ffff00">Shit, Shit, shit!
Oh, shit.</font>

1575
01:23:37,921 --> 01:23:39,053
<font color="#ffff00">Shit.</font>

1576
01:23:39,055 --> 01:23:40,489
<font color="#ffff00">- Shit!
- You guys okay?</font>

1577
01:23:40,491 --> 01:23:42,257
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you for flying
Big Fat Death.</font>

1578
01:23:42,259 --> 01:23:43,725
<font color="#ffff00">Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!</font>

1579
01:23:43,727 --> 01:23:45,927
<font color="#ffff00">I told you these things
were a rollover risk!</font>

1580
01:23:45,929 --> 01:23:47,596
<font color="#ffff00">- We gotta move!
- Come on!</font>

1581
01:23:47,598 --> 01:23:50,466
<font color="#ffff00">Hurry! Hurry! They're coming!</font>

1582
01:23:50,468 --> 01:23:52,435
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, no!
- Come on! Here they come!</font>

1583
01:23:52,437 --> 01:23:53,972
<font color="#ffff00">- Go, go, go!
- Shit.</font>

1584
01:23:55,106 --> 01:23:56,471
<font color="#ffff00">- Come on!
- Oh, shit!</font>

1585
01:23:56,473 --> 01:23:58,908
<font color="#ffff00">Come on!</font>

1586
01:23:58,910 --> 01:24:00,278
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, shit!
- Shit!</font>

1587
01:24:02,580 --> 01:24:03,548
<font color="#ffff00">Whoa!</font>

1588
01:24:08,753 --> 01:24:09,785
<font color="#ffff00">- Thank you.
- Thank you!</font>

1589
01:24:09,787 --> 01:24:11,520
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, my God!
- Yes!</font>

1590
01:24:11,522 --> 01:24:13,122
<font color="#ffff00">Here they come!</font>

1591
01:24:17,929 --> 01:24:19,731
<font color="#ffff00">- Go, get in. Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!</font>

1592
01:24:23,567 --> 01:24:24,566
<font color="#ffff00">Run!</font>

1593
01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:30,674
<font color="#ffff00">- I'm out of bullets!
- Guys, go! I'm right behind you!</font>

1594
01:24:33,777 --> 01:24:36,847
<font color="#ffff00">Get in position! Form the
gauntlet! I'll hold them off!</font>

1595
01:24:40,151 --> 01:24:42,487
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Donkey Kong,</i> motherfuckers!</font>

1596
01:25:07,844 --> 01:25:10,346
<font color="#ffff00"><i>You can't write
the history of Zombieland</i></font>

1597
01:25:10,348 --> 01:25:14,182
<font color="#ffff00"><i>without telling the story
of one momentous day.</i></font>

1598
01:25:14,184 --> 01:25:17,185
<font color="#ffff00"><i>The day one free man
made the ultimate sacrifice</i></font>

1599
01:25:17,187 --> 01:25:20,321
<font color="#ffff00"><i>and paid respect
to the Blackfoot ancestors</i></font>

1600
01:25:20,323 --> 01:25:22,192
<font color="#ffff00"><i>he may or may not have had.</i></font>

1601
01:25:24,260 --> 01:25:27,829
<font color="#ffff00"><i>The day he led the first,
the last, the only</i></font>

1602
01:25:27,831 --> 01:25:29,200
<font color="#ffff00"><i>great American zombie jump.</i></font>

1603
01:25:57,862 --> 01:25:59,595
<font color="#ffff00">Zombie Kill of the Year?</font>

1604
01:25:59,597 --> 01:26:01,263
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Century.</i></font>

1605
01:26:01,265 --> 01:26:03,899
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Only one problem.
Well, okay, two.</i></font>

1606
01:26:06,603 --> 01:26:07,571
<font color="#ffff00">Oh!</font>

1607
01:26:12,442 --> 01:26:14,275
<font color="#ffff00">- Hey!
- Tallahassee!</font>

1608
01:26:14,277 --> 01:26:17,111
<font color="#ffff00">- Hang on, we're coming.
- Hold on.</font>

1609
01:26:17,113 --> 01:26:18,446
<font color="#ffff00">- Help! I'm falling!
- Shit!</font>

1610
01:26:18,448 --> 01:26:20,315
<font color="#ffff00">We can't help you.</font>

1611
01:26:20,317 --> 01:26:21,816
<font color="#ffff00">Guys! Help me!</font>

1612
01:26:21,818 --> 01:26:24,319
<font color="#ffff00">- Shit. What should we do?
- Throw something at them.</font>

1613
01:26:24,321 --> 01:26:27,088
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, shit. Okay. Shit. Sorry.</font>

1614
01:26:27,090 --> 01:26:30,059
<font color="#ffff00">Wha... You hit me in the nuts
with a hacky sack!</font>

1615
01:26:30,061 --> 01:26:31,293
<font color="#ffff00">- Sorry.
- What?</font>

1616
01:26:31,295 --> 01:26:33,731
<font color="#ffff00">I'm losing my grip.
I'm gonna fall.</font>

1617
01:26:35,098 --> 01:26:37,432
<font color="#ffff00">No! Oh, no!</font>

1618
01:26:51,214 --> 01:26:52,851
<font color="#ffff00">Long live the King.</font>

1619
01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:56,485
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh.
- Ew.</font>

1620
01:26:56,487 --> 01:26:58,419
<font color="#ffff00">Guys! I'm still here!</font>

1621
01:26:58,421 --> 01:27:00,388
<font color="#ffff00">- Give me your hand!
- Hold my arm.</font>

1622
01:27:00,390 --> 01:27:03,057
<font color="#ffff00">- Kick your foot out.
- Goddamn it, Columbus!</font>

1623
01:27:03,059 --> 01:27:04,493
<font color="#ffff00">Point your toe!</font>

1624
01:27:04,495 --> 01:27:06,294
<font color="#ffff00">This human chain thing
is a terrible idea!</font>

1625
01:27:06,296 --> 01:27:07,663
<font color="#ffff00">- Guh!
- I can't reach.</font>

1626
01:27:07,665 --> 01:27:09,498
<font color="#ffff00">Kick it, kick it. I got it.</font>

1627
01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:11,132
<font color="#ffff00">Pull, pull.</font>

1628
01:27:11,134 --> 01:27:13,101
<font color="#ffff00">Okay. I got you.</font>

1629
01:27:13,103 --> 01:27:14,435
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

1630
01:27:14,437 --> 01:27:16,637
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, man. Are you okay?</font>

1631
01:27:16,639 --> 01:27:18,507
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah.
- That was amazing.</font>

1632
01:27:18,509 --> 01:27:20,478
<font color="#ffff00">Oh... Thank you.</font>

1633
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:22,780
<font color="#ffff00">Hey.</font>

1634
01:27:25,682 --> 01:27:27,149
<font color="#ffff00">You kept the gun?</font>

1635
01:27:27,151 --> 01:27:29,618
<font color="#ffff00">How could I give up
my favorite Christmas present?</font>

1636
01:27:29,620 --> 01:27:31,319
<font color="#ffff00">Why didn't you
pull it out sooner?</font>

1637
01:27:31,321 --> 01:27:33,888
<font color="#ffff00">I forget about it but...
I smoked a lot of weed.</font>

1638
01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,395
<font color="#ffff00">Chip off the old block.</font>

1639
01:27:40,697 --> 01:27:42,530
<font color="#ffff00">Yes.</font>

1640
01:27:42,532 --> 01:27:44,902
<font color="#ffff00">Yes?
Oh, yes, yes?</font>

1641
01:27:46,036 --> 01:27:47,005
<font color="#ffff00">Yes, yes.</font>

1642
01:27:48,572 --> 01:27:49,738
<font color="#ffff00">Yes, yes, yes?</font>

1643
01:27:49,740 --> 01:27:51,640
<font color="#ffff00">- Yes. Yes.
- Yes?</font>

1644
01:27:51,642 --> 01:27:52,710
<font color="#ffff00">- Really?
- Mm-hm.</font>

1645
01:27:55,146 --> 01:27:56,912
<font color="#ffff00">What changed your mind?</font>

1646
01:27:56,914 --> 01:27:59,617
<font color="#ffff00">Because Zombieland or not,
we're meant to be together.</font>

1647
01:28:03,054 --> 01:28:07,856
<font color="#ffff00">So basically, that means
this belongs to her.</font>

1648
01:28:07,858 --> 01:28:10,926
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, hm. Cool.</font>

1649
01:28:10,928 --> 01:28:12,593
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you.</font>

1650
01:28:12,595 --> 01:28:14,061
<font color="#ffff00">Okay.</font>

1651
01:28:16,433 --> 01:28:18,400
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay. Are you ready?
- Yeah.</font>

1652
01:28:18,402 --> 01:28:19,735
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay. I'm good.
- Okay.</font>

1653
01:28:19,737 --> 01:28:22,238
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah, do the damn thing. Yeah.
- Okay.</font>

1654
01:28:22,240 --> 01:28:25,407
<font color="#ffff00">- Great. Which hand do I...?
- This one.</font>

1655
01:28:25,409 --> 01:28:26,777
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay.
- Okay, yes. Here we go.</font>

1656
01:28:31,314 --> 01:28:32,717
<font color="#ffff00">Wow.</font>

1657
01:28:33,918 --> 01:28:35,186
<font color="#ffff00">Come here.</font>

1658
01:28:39,689 --> 01:28:41,891
<font color="#ffff00">Nicely done.</font>

1659
01:28:41,893 --> 01:28:45,860
<font color="#ffff00">I'm gonna walk that little
spitfuck down the aisle.</font>

1660
01:28:45,862 --> 01:28:48,530
<font color="#ffff00">It's a good thing
you didn't die, then.</font>

1661
01:28:48,532 --> 01:28:49,800
<font color="#ffff00">Washoe County.</font>

1662
01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:55,203
<font color="#ffff00">- What?
- Washoe County, Nevada.</font>

1663
01:28:55,205 --> 01:28:57,071
<font color="#ffff00">Ah, Reno.</font>

1664
01:28:57,073 --> 01:28:58,977
<font color="#ffff00">Biggest little city
in the world.</font>

1665
01:29:06,517 --> 01:29:07,783
<font color="#ffff00">- Just go for it.
- Thank you.</font>

1666
01:29:07,785 --> 01:29:09,517
<font color="#ffff00">- Sweet.
- Oh, my God.</font>

1667
01:29:10,853 --> 01:29:11,953
<font color="#ffff00">What? What?</font>

1668
01:29:11,955 --> 01:29:13,491
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, my gosh!
- Shit!</font>

1669
01:29:18,528 --> 01:29:22,230
<font color="#ffff00">- Homer. It's a long way down.
- Our work here is done.</font>

1670
01:29:22,232 --> 01:29:23,797
<font color="#ffff00">Let's party!</font>

1671
01:29:23,799 --> 01:29:25,268
<font color="#ffff00">- Come on!
- Yeah!</font>

1672
01:29:26,437 --> 01:29:27,636
<font color="#ffff00">Wait for me.</font>

1673
01:29:50,494 --> 01:29:55,596
<font color="#ffff00">Hell, this is
a 1955 Fleetwood Series 60. Hoo!</font>

1674
01:29:55,598 --> 01:29:59,802
<font color="#ffff00">Every hair on my body
feels like a little wang.</font>

1675
01:29:59,804 --> 01:30:02,171
<font color="#ffff00">- Yikes.
- Where to?</font>

1676
01:30:02,173 --> 01:30:04,605
<font color="#ffff00">Mm, how about home?</font>

1677
01:30:04,607 --> 01:30:05,707
<font color="#ffff00">Home?</font>

1678
01:30:05,709 --> 01:30:06,844
<font color="#ffff00">- Yeah.
- Yes, good idea.</font>

1679
01:30:08,845 --> 01:30:09,880
<font color="#ffff00">Where's home?</font>

1680
01:30:11,514 --> 01:30:14,283
<font color="#ffff00">I think we're already there.</font>

1681
01:30:14,285 --> 01:30:15,985
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Because if our adventures</i></font>

1682
01:30:15,987 --> 01:30:18,653
<font color="#ffff00"><i>had taught us about anything,
it was home.</i></font>

1683
01:30:18,655 --> 01:30:20,821
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Wichita didn't need
to be afraid of it.</i></font>

1684
01:30:20,823 --> 01:30:22,856
<font color="#ffff00"><i>I didn't need
to keep looking for it.</i></font>

1685
01:30:22,858 --> 01:30:26,662
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Because home isn't a place,
it's the people you're with.</i></font>

1686
01:30:26,664 --> 01:30:28,963
<font color="#ffff00"><i>I guess that's why
they're called your homies.</i></font>

1687
01:30:28,965 --> 01:30:31,199
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And my homies
are pretty fucking awesome.</i></font>

1688
01:30:31,201 --> 01:30:33,802
<font color="#ffff00"><i>So till next time,
this is Columbus, Ohio,</i></font>

1689
01:30:33,804 --> 01:30:36,003
<font color="#ffff00"><i>on behalf of Wichita,
Little Rock,</i></font>

1690
01:30:36,005 --> 01:30:37,306
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Reno and Tallahassee,</i></font>

1691
01:30:37,308 --> 01:30:41,141
<font color="#ffff00"><i>saying</i> hasta la vista, <i>baby.</i></font>

1692
01:30:41,143 --> 01:30:42,677
<font color="#ffff00"><i>That one's for you, Flagstaff.</i></font>

1693
01:30:49,219 --> 01:30:53,690
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Lord Almighty
I feel my temperature rising ♪</i></font>

1694
01:30:55,826 --> 01:30:57,559
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Higher, higher ♪</i></font>

1695
01:30:57,561 --> 01:30:59,996
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ It's burning through
To my soul... ♪</i></font>

1696
01:31:02,866 --> 01:31:05,199
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Oh, hey.
Yeah, sorry. One more thing.</i></font>

1697
01:31:05,201 --> 01:31:07,802
<font color="#ffff00"><i>I'm feeling a little guilty
about what Nevada said.</i></font>

1698
01:31:07,804 --> 01:31:10,471
<font color="#ffff00"><i>You know, about Murraying
a certain you-know-who?</i></font>

1699
01:31:10,473 --> 01:31:12,207
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Yeah, my bad.
I blew a hole</i></font>

1700
01:31:12,209 --> 01:31:14,642
<font color="#ffff00"><i>through the finest comic actor
of our generation.</i></font>

1701
01:31:14,644 --> 01:31:17,244
<font color="#ffff00"><i>But I would love to make it up
to you, to all of you.</i></font>

1702
01:31:17,246 --> 01:31:19,980
<font color="#ffff00"><i>And for that,
we gotta go back to 2009.</i></font>

1703
01:31:23,387 --> 01:31:24,752
<font color="#ffff00">Welcome, everyone,</font>

1704
01:31:24,754 --> 01:31:26,888
<font color="#ffff00">to the <i>Garfield 3: Flabby Tabby</i>
junket.</font>

1705
01:31:26,890 --> 01:31:28,423
<font color="#ffff00">You'll each have five minutes.</font>

1706
01:31:28,425 --> 01:31:30,726
<font color="#ffff00">Please keep your questions
focused on the film</font>

1707
01:31:30,728 --> 01:31:32,427
<font color="#ffff00">and don't go off-topic.</font>

1708
01:31:32,429 --> 01:31:34,596
<font color="#ffff00"><i>The idea of a
trilogy was something...</i></font>

1709
01:31:34,598 --> 01:31:38,065
<font color="#ffff00">As an artist,
you think the great ones:</font>

1710
01:31:38,067 --> 01:31:40,034
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Godfather</i> and...</font>

1711
01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,136
<font color="#ffff00">uh, <i>Lethal Weapon.</i></font>

1712
01:31:42,138 --> 01:31:45,974
<font color="#ffff00">But the question is,
why in the world <i>Garfield 3?</i></font>

1713
01:31:45,976 --> 01:31:48,275
<font color="#ffff00">- Can this be just between us?
- Yes.</font>

1714
01:31:48,277 --> 01:31:50,311
<font color="#ffff00">Drugs cost money.</font>

1715
01:31:50,313 --> 01:31:52,047
<font color="#ffff00">And I have to say,
as an actor,</font>

1716
01:31:52,049 --> 01:31:54,748
<font color="#ffff00">how many of your nine lives
do you think you have left?</font>

1717
01:31:54,750 --> 01:31:58,287
<font color="#ffff00">Well, I've done three of these.
Three <i>Garfields.</i></font>

1718
01:31:58,289 --> 01:31:59,587
<font color="#ffff00">So that's six.</font>

1719
01:31:59,589 --> 01:32:01,556
<font color="#ffff00">The essence of Garfield,
I think...</font>

1720
01:32:01,558 --> 01:32:02,623
<font color="#ffff00">Right.</font>

1721
01:32:02,625 --> 01:32:04,825
<font color="#ffff00">...is the hairball.</font>

1722
01:32:04,827 --> 01:32:07,294
<font color="#ffff00">Didn't I say? I had a feeling
this would come up.</font>

1723
01:32:11,802 --> 01:32:14,002
<font color="#ffff00">You don't wanna do the hairball
really quick?</font>

1724
01:32:14,004 --> 01:32:15,770
<font color="#ffff00">- No.
- Can you try now?</font>

1725
01:32:15,772 --> 01:32:18,340
<font color="#ffff00">- Give me a little hairball now?
- Come on.</font>

1726
01:32:21,143 --> 01:32:22,213
<font color="#ffff00">Come on.</font>

1727
01:32:28,152 --> 01:32:30,284
<font color="#ffff00">You know, how about if I
did it with you?</font>

1728
01:32:30,286 --> 01:32:32,287
<font color="#ffff00">- Okay. Come on. Come on.
- That was close.</font>

1729
01:32:32,289 --> 01:32:33,855
<font color="#ffff00">We'll do a selfie together.</font>

1730
01:32:35,759 --> 01:32:37,191
<font color="#ffff00">Great. Great.</font>

1731
01:32:40,229 --> 01:32:41,997
<font color="#ffff00">You all right, man?</font>

1732
01:32:43,066 --> 01:32:44,298
<font color="#ffff00">All over the mike.</font>

1733
01:32:44,300 --> 01:32:45,900
<font color="#ffff00">Can we get a baby wipe
for Al?</font>

1734
01:32:45,902 --> 01:32:47,668
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe move him back
to his room?</font>

1735
01:32:54,411 --> 01:32:56,180
<font color="#ffff00">Huge fan, Mr. Roker.</font>

1736
01:32:58,514 --> 01:33:00,649
<font color="#ffff00">All right, Tim,
let's get out of here.</font>

1737
01:33:00,651 --> 01:33:02,650
<font color="#ffff00">Somebody get my car.
I'm ready to go.</font>

1738
01:33:02,652 --> 01:33:04,651
<font color="#ffff00">I've never seen Roker
behave that way.</font>

1739
01:33:04,653 --> 01:33:06,020
<font color="#ffff00">That was crazy.</font>

1740
01:33:06,022 --> 01:33:08,090
<font color="#ffff00">Sometimes it feels like
you against the world.</font>

1741
01:33:08,092 --> 01:33:09,524
<font color="#ffff00">- Oh, my God.
- I think it is.</font>

1742
01:33:15,698 --> 01:33:16,830
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, dear.</font>

1743
01:33:16,832 --> 01:33:18,432
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Don't nobody worry 'bout me ♪</i></font>

1744
01:33:20,103 --> 01:33:21,239
<font color="#ffff00">Excuse me?</font>

1745
01:33:25,108 --> 01:33:27,708
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Do what you like ♪</i></font>

1746
01:33:27,710 --> 01:33:29,511
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Doing it naturally ♪</i></font>

1747
01:33:29,513 --> 01:33:31,212
<font color="#ffff00">Nice!</font>

1748
01:33:31,214 --> 01:33:33,782
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ But if it's too easy ♪</i></font>

1749
01:33:33,784 --> 01:33:35,115
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ They're gonna disagree ♪</i></font>

1750
01:33:35,117 --> 01:33:36,484
<font color="#ffff00">Help me!</font>

1751
01:33:36,486 --> 01:33:39,687
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ It's your life ♪</i></font>

1752
01:33:39,689 --> 01:33:42,259
<font color="#ffff00">Bill Murray! I love some
of your films. Help me!</font>

1753
01:33:45,562 --> 01:33:47,098
<font color="#ffff00">I ain't afraid of no ghost.</font>

1754
01:33:51,669 --> 01:33:53,638
<font color="#ffff00"><i>Buenas tardes,</i> señorita.</font>

1755
01:33:57,941 --> 01:33:59,940
<font color="#ffff00">I hate Mondays.</font>

1756
01:33:59,942 --> 01:34:05,115
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Lord Almighty
I feel my temperature rising ♪</i></font>

1757
01:34:07,416 --> 01:34:09,184
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Higher, higher ♪</i></font>

1758
01:34:09,186 --> 01:34:11,822
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ It's burning through
To my soul ♪</i></font>

1759
01:34:14,058 --> 01:34:15,757
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Girl, girl, girl ♪</i></font>

1760
01:34:15,759 --> 01:34:18,763
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ You gonna set me on fire ♪</i></font>

1761
01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:22,430
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ My brain is flaming ♪</i></font>

1762
01:34:22,432 --> 01:34:24,902
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I don't know
Which way to go ♪</i></font>

1763
01:34:27,138 --> 01:34:30,538
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ And your kisses
Lift me higher ♪</i></font>

1764
01:34:30,540 --> 01:34:33,909
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Like the sweet song
Of a choir ♪</i></font>

1765
01:34:33,911 --> 01:34:36,410
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ And you light
My morning sky ♪</i></font>

1766
01:34:36,412 --> 01:34:38,915
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ With your burning love ♪</i></font>

1767
01:34:40,916 --> 01:34:42,550
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪</i></font>

1768
01:34:42,552 --> 01:34:47,455
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I feel
My temperature rising, yeah ♪</i></font>

1769
01:34:47,457 --> 01:34:49,190
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Well, help me, I'm flaming ♪</i></font>

1770
01:34:49,192 --> 01:34:54,128
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I must be
A hundred and nine, wow ♪</i></font>

1771
01:34:54,130 --> 01:34:55,963
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Burning, burning ♪</i></font>

1772
01:34:55,965 --> 01:35:00,302
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Burning
And nothing can cool me, oh ♪</i></font>

1773
01:35:00,304 --> 01:35:03,204
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I just might turn
Into smoke ♪</i></font>

1774
01:35:03,206 --> 01:35:05,343
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ But I feel fine ♪</i></font>

1775
01:35:07,076 --> 01:35:10,278
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Because your kisses
Lift me higher ♪</i></font>

1776
01:35:10,280 --> 01:35:13,815
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Like the sweet song
Of a choir ♪</i></font>

1777
01:35:13,817 --> 01:35:16,417
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ And you light
My morning sky ♪</i></font>

1778
01:35:16,419 --> 01:35:21,088
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ With your burning love
Yeah ♪</i></font>

1779
01:35:21,090 --> 01:35:24,092
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪</i></font>

1780
01:35:24,094 --> 01:35:27,428
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪</i></font>

1781
01:35:27,430 --> 01:35:31,669
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Ah, ah, ah
Burning love ♪</i></font>

1782
01:35:33,969 --> 01:35:35,770
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ It's coming closer ♪</i></font>

1783
01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:40,909
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ The flames are now
Reachin' my body, oh ♪</i></font>

1784
01:35:40,911 --> 01:35:42,577
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Please, won't you help me ♪</i></font>

1785
01:35:42,579 --> 01:35:47,515
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I feel like
I'm slippin' away, oh ♪</i></font>

1786
01:35:47,517 --> 01:35:49,217
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ It's hard to breathe ♪</i></font>

1787
01:35:49,219 --> 01:35:51,856
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Oh, and my chest
Is a-heaving ♪</i></font>

1788
01:35:54,023 --> 01:35:55,891
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Oh, Lord have mercy ♪</i></font>

1789
01:35:55,893 --> 01:35:58,696
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm burning a hole
where I lay ♪</i></font>

1790
01:36:00,530 --> 01:36:03,730
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ 'Cause your kisses
Lift me higher ♪</i></font>

1791
01:36:03,732 --> 01:36:07,334
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Like the sweet song
Of a choir ♪</i></font>

1792
01:36:07,336 --> 01:36:09,805
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ And you light
My morning sky ♪</i></font>

1793
01:36:09,807 --> 01:36:12,239
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ With your burning love ♪</i></font>

1794
01:36:12,241 --> 01:36:15,711
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Yeah, your burning love ♪</i></font>

1795
01:36:15,713 --> 01:36:18,879
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Ah, your burning love ♪</i></font>

1796
01:36:18,881 --> 01:36:20,649
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Ooh ♪</i></font>

1797
01:36:20,651 --> 01:36:23,752
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪</i></font>

1798
01:36:23,754 --> 01:36:27,355
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪</i></font>

1799
01:36:27,357 --> 01:36:30,391
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪</i></font>

1800
01:36:30,393 --> 01:36:33,727
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪</i></font>

1801
01:36:33,729 --> 01:36:36,998
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪</i></font>

1802
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,334
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ I'm just a hunk
A hunk of burning love ♪</i></font>

1803
01:36:40,336 --> 01:36:43,404
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Burning love, yeah ♪</i></font>

1804
01:36:43,406 --> 01:36:48,878
<font color="#ffff00"><i>♪ Burning love, nah ♪</i></font>

1805
01:38:37,653 --> 01:38:40,288
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, pardon. <i>En español,</i>
it's like:</font>

1806
01:38:47,664 --> 01:38:49,767
<font color="#ffff00">P... P... Pardon my accent.</font>

1807
01:38:50,695 --> 01:38:55,695
<font color="#ffff00">Subtitles by explosiveskull</font>